My husband didn't show signs of narcassism until I got pregnant with our first child (he was a planned pregnancy for us both). Once I was pregnant, that's when the devil came out of my husband. He's been worse and worse every year since then. I recently finalized my divorce.
My ex left us the day he found out about the baby. It's been about 10 months or so and I haven't seen him since the day before... he's such a devil... I cried and was angry throughout the pregnancy but I can kiss the 8 years of wasted time goodbye when I realize some people had to endure such abuse... all the best, you can handle more than you think and even though there might be snot and tears you will be amazed at the result even just in a year from today. ❤🎉
I’m still on the fence with my partner it’s so hard to really accept that this is what’s going on because he’s so subtle… I might be In denial but I think all the time about ending the relationship ..
If you're not 100% certain a person is alright in the head (rational, moral, trustworthy, reliable, wise, safe, etc), then don't waste time with them. You're only delaying the inevitable. Additionally, the more time you spend with someone, the more memories, health issues, regret, trauma and depression you'll have to work through. Nip this in the bud now, heal and then live a good life
I did suspect this. My narcissistic mother wanted a son and was disappointed when I turned out to be a daughter. I know she rejected me in the womb cos she ate what she was told not to when pregnant. After birth she told me how she forgot to feed me, give me medicine when I was sick etc and I never cried. When I started school I remember being very frightened and isolated. As I grew up I couldn't see the board. My parents got my eyes checked only when I was 14 and my sight had deteriorated a lot by then. Both my parents neglected me. I had a very painful childhood. How could parents do this to their children? I wonder how I survived in that hostile environment
I had very similar experience, both my parents are narcissists. I found refuge in liquor & cannabis but I survived. I don't have many friends and almost no relatives. But I m happy.
Sorry for what happened to you. lol like my daughter says twinsies. We learn from them to not be like them, I try my best to be there for my child, I'm not perfect but trying is what counts 😅 I'm sure you do the same. Thank you for sharing your story
Red flag one - Where a child is conceived as a "solution" to a pre-existing crisis or pre-existing boredom or pre-existing stupidity or pre-existing conflict.
I was definitely born sad and depressed to the core. Near 50 now, no contact with any family, still healing, but I am much better without anyone of them, mother especialy. Go no contact as soon as possible!
I'm 59, when I was 3 I tried to run away, later my big brother wanted us to run away, when I was 12 I thought about suicide, when 21 I just tried to live, believe in Jesus saved my life, now I relive my past and forgive myself for all mistakes I done in my life, I like myself and many good people like me too, but I don't accept idiots into my life anymore, not even for one day, God bless and help you, remember you must work hard everyday to get away from being a victime😊
My mother drank heavily when she was pregnant with me and I was born with featal alcoholic syndrome. I was the middle child and the scapegoat in the family, and recieved brutal physical abuse (tried to drown me when I was 6), emotional neglect and abuse on a daily basis. My mother used to say practically every day 'I was fine until you came along... go and die ya fucking bastard'. I fully understand now as a 43yo why child protection took my siblings and I away and placed us into foster care many times from the age of 6-15. After becoming a mother myself nearly 2 years ago, I'm proud to be a cycle-breaker, but I am also aware that I need to work on my trauma disregulation with my therapist to be the best mum that I can be for my son.
I had a baby with a narcissist and the baby was overdue and he nearly was classified as failure to thrive. I know a friend who lost her baby because she was with a narcissist. This is a very sad and dangerous situation. 💔😭
My baby was the same way. He was 2 weeks past his due date and the amniotic fluid was almost dried up. I had to induce or the midwife told me I could lose the child. I induced, and then made the mistake of having my ex sign a voluntary parental agreement. Now I'm getting a restraining order and then I'm going to file for a name change for my son so that he can have my name instead of my ex's.
My mother is narcissistic! I was 1 month premature. My mother told me when I was a toddler and still nursing I never wanted to be rocked I climbed off her lap and wanted to be put to bed. Walked over to my crib and wanted to be put to bed…..and once I grabbed the baby spoon out of my parents hands and wanted to feed myself and to this very day I HAVE HAD TO BE VERYYYYYYYYY INDEPENDENT.😢😢😢😢
This reminds me of my mother, always bragging about how early I was able to accomplish everything. Her favorite is to say that I was sitting on a potty chair at somewhere between 3-6 months, and she is so proud when she says this. I always tell her, "do you not realize how abnormal that is, a child shouldn't be potty trained until 9-12 months or when they are walking." I tell her "that says more about you as a mother, than it says about me", as in you didn't want to be bothered to change diapers so you tried to potty train me at a ridiculously early age.
I was born premature in the 7th month, father probably psychopath, mother very sick and toxic herself. I have a few defects from birth, thank to the Divine powers i raised myself psychologically and mentally healthy, 44 years now, a narcissist buster my whole life, the struggle is real, but Light wins 😉❤
My nmom always joked saying that “I didn’t want to come into the world” since I was born late, and I didn’t want to come out at all. I also had water in my brain as well when I was born, thankfully it went away. also looked depressed in my childhood photos from a young age, my eyes wide, a thousand yard stare in my eyed. And I can see the evil in my mom’s eyes in the photos. I’m not trying to blame everything on their narcissism but I would not be surprised if all of that was because of how they are.
Thank you Danish! We’ve all heard of eating for two, how about trauma for two?? Because that is what it is. Momma sad and depressed. Momma angry and rife with cortisol from daily battle with the Narcissist. If it hurts momma, it hurts her unborn child just the same. NARCs are evil!!
I was told by relatives when my mother was pregnant i didnt want to come out so they induced labour. I also was in wrong position legs first so they had to do section. And i also was wrapped up with umbilical so the doctor had a tough time. Now thinking about it, i think i didnt want to come into this world knowing what awaits me ahead.
These words are beyond true. I wish I had found this channel while I was going through the worst narcissistic abuse I had ever experienced. My daughter was born 3 weeks early, she was the meanest angriest baby ever. She would cry as if we were unaliving her during diaper changes. But I kept praying and speaking positive affirmations over her and 18 months later she is a happy little soul. She still is very anxious at times and we help her to see she can sit and enjoy a meal in her high chair without constantly being on the go. I am still married to my narcissist and daddy doesn’t appeal to her heart. Mommies you can pray that trauma off of your babies. Just love them, be patient, kind and understanding. Breastfeed if you can. They will get better! God bless you Danish for bringing this subject to light ❤
This makes so much scents my Mom is an Indifferent narcissistic and Ive been painfully stressed and never felt safe on a basic daily life. I know this is not what or how God sees me. I choose His words over families hurtful ways.
Worse part of my pregnancy journey is , i got induced and i was sent home . My midwife said to be in touch , as you will be any time raedy for labour, so when you feel any kind of pain , youll have to immediately come in to the hospital. In such a critical situation, my husband got a call from one of his friends who wanted to get some petty thing done . My husband left me alone even in such a situation. What kind of a man will do that? What could be more important to a man than his child and wife ?
My narcissist mother has been bulimic my whole life. She puked while pregnant with me. She bragged about the fact that she hardly gained weight during her pregnancy. She was a weight shamer my whole life. I am a true miracle, and it has been a lifelong journey to accept myself.
I feel so identified. My mother always bragged about being thin. I suffered from IUGR, born preemie. Spent my first months in an indubator. I had sleep apnea, so i can only imagine the abuse I was put through because of their frustration. They left me with my grandma most of the day. I had terrible separation anxiety. I also had problems with food. And got neglected by a daycare center. Had to be hospitalised with enteral nutrition. I despise my parents so much. The harm they caused it's inmensurable.
@polespinosa4858 I am so sorry to hear this. As I grew up, I realized that I was raised by someone who was also abused. No one wants to be bulimic. I was raised by someone who was tormented herself daily, and unfortunately, I was her emotional punching bag. I forgive her for myself. Free yourself and know it wasn't your fault. ❤️
I went through domestic violence with my daughter narcissistic father when I was 8 and 9 months pregnant with our daughter and my daughter came out with ADHD I wish I had knew this knowledge nine years ago when I was pregnant thanks for this information
I have ADHD, and so does my Dad, brother, and sister. It’s really no big deal if you learn positive ways to manage and cope with it. A baby doesn’t “come out” with ADHD because of trauma in utero. It may be hereditary, not sure, but please don’t misinterpret Danish’s very useful information. ADHD has NOTHING to do with narcissism or trauma.
My narcissist mother turned all of my siblings against my Dad. Since I wouldn't turn against him, she told everyone that I was just like him. I'm the youngest of 8. I'm still the outcast.
This is really informative. I never knew it could form that early and even attack the baby in the womb. That's so crazy to think about but it does make a lot of sense. Both of my parents are narcs and I was an unplanned child. I'm the last of my siblings and coincidentally always the last priority to my parents. I stopped talking early when I kept going through the same cycle of feeling unwanted. My opinion never mattered and to this day, it's still the same way. My parents hear what they want to hear and god forbid I voice my opinion on anything, there's an immediate shut down and correction of how I'm supposed to feel about something. How I'm supposed to feel is also coincidentally in favor of how they feel about whatever it is. It's to the point where I go with as little contact as I possibly can with them. I don't talk to my dad at all and I try my best not to talk to my mom. The conversation is always the same and my opinions are always wrong or I'm not going about the the way she wants me to. It's annoying and I just deal with it long enough for me to hang up the phone. I'm tired of complying but I know things will never change. She's sensitive to criticism which means you can't tell her anything but she will cut you down any chance she gets by saying some really hurtful things. I hate the dynamic I have with my parents. I just wanted support and to be heard and respected. I never got that so I went inward. I stopped talking and looking for any kind of connection externally. Over time I gained some friends but that came from the rare times when I could actually show the real me without being shutdown or letting that feeling my parents embedded in me take over. Even now, I barely talk. I talk to my friends but that isn't all that healthy if I don't talk to other people too. I can meet new people, I make friends easily but I don't really actively go out and do that. It's more of whoever talks to me first then I will respond because I'm hardwired to not "speak unless I'm spoken to". This stuff runs deep. I'm a lot better than I was growing up but the behavior is still there sometimes. When I see happy families out in public it makes me wonder what my life would've been like if I had better parents. I'm smart and kind but my growth was definitely stunted by my birth givers.
Oh dear one, I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same position as a youngster. Did not speak to anyone as a toddler up to what age...have no clue. Could be due to having malignant narcs for parents who always fought ( literally ) for power and control over the other. Yes, with all that going on, I shut down ( internally frozen ) but was hyper vigilant which made very aware of my surroundings. I hear and accept you dear precious one.
I get it. Like if you say anything they don't agree with, they put you down. They stunt a person from being all they can be. As time goes on, just cut back the time that you spend on them or anyone that is negative. Not saying to cut them off, but, what else can you do? Here is what they have done to you, they have denied you validation. Therefore, you have to get it either from others or much easier, get it from yourself. This is hard to do by the way, but every morning look in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes, and just say some nice things, like "I love you" (5 or 10 times) or "You are going to have a great day today!" You know, all positive words are validating. Just say anything nice and positive. You have a deficiency of positivity in your life. See if you can find some cool positive affirmations on CZcams, or online. Naricissists are the most negative ugly mean people you can meet. Absolutely stay away from anyone like that. They drain your life force from you. I am here to tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to, you can be a positive force in this world. You can inspire people too, because of what you have been through, as they can relate! I'm proud of you, as a fellow human being who has had to put up with this stuff too. Keep going forward, and find and live your dreams! You can do it 100%! I know because I also am having to deal with all of this as well. Best Wishes!
My mother didnt want me and when she get pregnant with me she would move heavy objects in the house cause she wanted to have a spontaneous (telling me that my father,her husband,wanted the second child and didnt let her go to abortion)...the worst thing is that everytime she speaks about it, she laughs how I "decided" to stay in her utero no matter what she tried to do to get rid of me.
It makes a lot of sense Danish. Being born to a narcisistic mother is pain and trauma from day one. The cruelty of a mother towards her own child is unbelievably damaging. Only God can heal such wounds.Thank you Danish. God bless you❤
Being child of narcissistic mother and father I experienced emotional trauma as you explained. Now I am 57 and got devorce from narcissistic husband and I am healing. Thank you for your information
This happened to me. My grandmother said my "mother" cried her whole pregnancy that she didn't want to have me. I was a trap baby. She was only 19. My "parents" considered abortion, but too catholic. She started abusing me at 2 months, according to her. It was hell. Born with inflammed red blotches all over my skin (atopic) from eczema. My momster said she told the doctor to take me back. The amount of resentment she has for me, even as a baby, is astounding. I found out too many others have similar experiences. 😓
When there is no safe place, you become resilient, self reliant, withdrawn etc and trauma bonded. Self awareness of the situation has helped me the most. You have zero effect on the narcs, you can control how you react to their abuse. Escape through no contact isnt an option for some, it will eventually happen through natural events. Me personally, neither parent wanted children, both narcs. I was turned into a slave. Its still happening (mid 50's now). I dont entertain thoughts of leaving - as there is nowhere I belong. Pessimistic some may suggest. You may want something else, doesnt mean you can learn the skill needed. Im being realistic. To unlearn programming and relearn new sets of life skills is set by time, and time is unkind. That is the truth of the matter. I practice altruism with strangers as that gets me by, and I leave something better in the world than I receive. Sometimes for some of us, that is the best it gets, and that is OK too. x
My narcissist mother set up the stage for me to be with other narcissists. My mom abandoned me recently after I saw her for who she is and refused to allow her to have anymore control over my life & she has turned my 2 brothers against me. I also wasn't aware of the abuse I was in with my boyfriend of 14 years. We were trauma bonded. He tried to get me pregnant but God didn't allow it to happen thankfully. I gave my life to God after 6 months of being with him. I should have immediately left him but we were enmeshed and he ended up passing away a year ago or I might still be with him. Now that I've been alone for awhile my eyes are opened to the abuse. He said that if I left him with a child he would turn the child against me & he didn't seem to think there was something wrong with that? God protected me. Your videos are so helpful. I've been watching them back to back. Learning a lot. Thank you for your work!
I recently found your videos and have found them to be very healing. You get right to the point. I appreciate that. Thank you for caring! You are a good person.
I was born to a smoking drinking narcissistic mother and narc father. I came out as a “blue baby” (cardio pulmonary issues), spent two months in NICU unable to digest anything but sugary drinks. I was neglected and eventually abandoned to relatives at the age of five. I was again treated with neglect and told repeatedly that I was unwanted until taken to another family situation, again with two scarcely capable narcissistic parents. Today I suffer from several immunity issues, a high (due to nervous energy!) metabolism, frequent bouts of pneumonia, and several food sensitivities. I was lucky to have been eventually put into school (late in childhood) where, despite being bullied often, I found some relief from the home situation, and later in life discovered hiking, where I could be in the peacefulness of nature, gain some physical strength, and be away from the home for hours at a time. Having narcissistic birth parents does indeed effect your babyhood and later life health, not just your mental health.
I and my 3 siblings were raised by complicit narcissistic parents. I was the scapegoat AND I was pretty much the "mother" of my little sister and brother as well as my mother. And our home and emotional environment WAS a shit show. My older brother and I have been in counseling the majority of our adult lives. We survived a cruel, f'd up dysfunctional and painful "family" dynamic. And here I am at 66 still trying to overcome it all as I struggle to understand it all. I just exited a horrific narcissistic relationship myself. I've struggled with a "broken picker" when it comes to friends and significant others. I've also suffered with PTSD, severe complex depression and anxiety. Even with all my counseling, book reading, journaling, and mental health meds, I still struggle with the fact that I was unwanted. I've done my very best to overcome what I endured but life is still complicated and challenging. My heart goes out to all who've suffered from narcissistic relationships, especially if it was one or both parents.
Thank you for this Danish. My ex wife and mother of my twin 8 year olds (girl+boy) is vulnerable narcissist. Not surprising because her father is a grandiose narcissist. The information you provide has helped me understand our situation better. Luckily I'm a Sigma Empath (hence she divorced me after 16 years) and I've been able to counter a lot of the energy she gives them. Keep up the good work man🙌
@@user-el4yq5bf4j During a one on one with the marriage counselor she described the dynamic which added a lot of puzzle pieces to the situation. My ex had already gone through a great deal of therapy for her anxiety disorder years prior during which the narcissism of her father was confirmed and my ex was forced to face the reality that she was as well.
@@ryanwraith bro, you’re sus af…someone with that debilitating of an anxiety disorder, especially a person that is SEEKING OUT THERAPY would not fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD….wonder what is making her so terribly nervous and stressed? Every once in a while, we find the real narc. Good attempt with your “sigma empath” power though…you clearly are victimless and kinda obsessed with her dad…creepy. But of course you’re not the problem. The real question is HAVE YOU sought out REAL therapy for a long period of time to better understand yourself?!? If not, there’s a reason why. Prayers for your ex and her children.
God this is so weird because this is something I recently realized for myself and it's something I didn't realize before. My mother used to say to me all the time things like I was an accident (But then she would laugh and say that it was a happy accident) and she used to tell me all these things about what an easy baby I was (But I now understand what she meant is that she could just leave me anywhere and ignore me and I wouldn't do anything or fuss) and things I realized more recently were quite sinister that she would tell me like there was a story she told me about how she tried to pin my diaper on and she was pushing the diaper pin as hard as she could and finally my face turned red and I screamed really loud and she realized she had been pushing the pin into me. This was told as a funny story in my family for years and I always felt very uncomfortable about it and never knew why until now as an adult I understand that it's impossible to push that hard into a baby's leg and not know that you're pushing a pin into them like that and I started to think about what it must have been like being her child her baby her newborn the baby in her womb and I started thinking about how awful it must have been because I write poetry and I write songs and I would always write things like since before you were born since before you were born since before you were born that kind of thing like over and over again, understanding that all of this abuse started before I was born before I was even alive I was dead if that makes sense. anyway this was probably a confusing comment but I'm a songwriter and I honestly never understood all the poetry and songs that I wrote from a very young age but it was all part of trying to process the trauma that I was going through and when I look at my songs today I realize what a lot of the lyrics mean. I really just wrote the same song over and over and over again because I never understood that my mother was abusing me. She was covert and my father wasn't so he was the one I was keeping my eye on. But she is the one that literally stood by watching me die from a medical reason and did nothing. I was lucky that someone intervened and saved my life but she just stood there and did nothing. Deep down I know she would have been glad if I died because there were many times under her "care" that I did almost lose my life. She always pretended to be oblivious and she always said she like to play devil's advocate and now I understand what she meant by all those comments she made. I cry for that little baby now just imagining the things she must have whispered in my ear. She hated me and I thought she was my best friend which makes no sense. She would bait my father so much and I would beg her to stop doing that because he would take it out on me and she would just laugh and say oh don't worry about it
One of my first memories was my dad kicking my mom on the stomach while 8 or 9 months pregnant. I found out as an adult that he did that while she was pregnant with me as well. He was abusive in every way, I always felt like I had to protect my mom and family like a guard dog, unfortunately my mom didn't show me love growing up. He was also racist and would discriminate my brother because he was our mom's color. I have more stories, too many unfortunately. This should be child abuse. She we was in an arranged marriage at 15 and had me until she was 17, she had suffered for those years before having me, I constantly feel like I have to be cautious.
😢wheew this video made me burst into tears. Explains so much... my newborn came 8 weeks early. I would cry and stress throughout the pregnancy, i just couldn't believe that he would discard us when he heard that i was pregnant. Shes 5 weeks old... and i plan to giver her all the love and care i possibly can, considering that she was going with me through trauma... by grace i believe, i have never seen him again, after the entire 8 years of being together... its most likely a blessing in disguise. Thank you, so very much for the work you do on this channel and how you educate us in care and compassion.
My son did not cry when he was born...I knew immediately that my now ex spouse who is a narcissistic woman had to do with it Everytime I think about it I get really sad. She is a very neglectful parent and has denied me the right to co-parent...She cut me off my son's life
I have been trying to take action through child welfare institutions in my country but my worst enemy has been my own family..I feel that they betrayed me first by refusing to listen to my account and secondly by siding with my narcissistic ex and blaming me for everything.
You are right and Gabor Mate agrees with you and I. My case is that my mother is the malignant narcissist. She says she has never had diseases but pregnancies and I know I had a twin who died at birth. It's long to explain how I found out but I know it's true because everytime I have asked my mother she said I was crazy and everytime I asked her the same: I have asked you a simple question you can answer with a yes or a no and me being crazy or not it's not the question... she shut up with her thin cruel lips tighten as if she was scared the truth could slip out of them. I don't know why my twin died; it's top secret but I found a picture taken of it little body (I don't know if it was a boy or a girl... it was eviscerated and the guts covered the pelvis).😢
What I'm wondering.. how do I heal from this trauma? I'm a Licensed Massage Therapist, and I know certain modalities of massage help greatly.. but what else can I do besides talk to God, exercise, eat good food?? I'm working on building new brain pathways by traveling and trying new activities. Obviously I'm doing the inner work also, and this channel helps greatly. Thank you Danish!! 🙏
Try somatic exercises. I have done it by myself and it helps. I'm not healed and I don't know if I will ever heal after a lifetime of neglect and abuse but allowing your body to shake really helps because trauma gets stored in the body. I have hear that people can cry releasing while shaking but it has not happened to me. In case it happens, allow yourself to cry or laugh. It feels great. I try not doing it before sleep because although I get wonderfully relaxed, I can't sleep afterwards but I don't know if that would be your case. There are videos in CZcams. Don't get alarmed by seeing people shaking because it looks weird and you might take it like something strange and undesirable but it makes wonders. You have to do it for a few months but I can't say for how long. Just don't be afraid and allow your body to shake in bed or in the floor in a peaceful environment. Best wishes 💜
This makes a lot of sense but could you interview like an OBGYN about this? I don't know hour qualifications but would be interesting to see like test results or something specific an OB would have access to but could keep the anonymity of those involved protected. Thanks.
Thank you for the forgiveness for not knowing… when I was pregnant… and the action item to give great compassion now. So helpful and frees me to focus on doing good now and in the future.
My adoptive moms bio son had all of those psychiatric disorders. Depression, severe dhd, anxiety. She is one of the most narcissistic mothers i know. She miscarried twins and another child. Maybe this is why she misscaried so many times as well. She abused me in every was she could and she abused her bio son
this explains why i am the way i am ,my mother and father both are horrible humans and narcissists both of them destroyed me and my brothers lives ,my mother tells us she didn't wanted children and blames my father for it
I'm currently pregnant with an already very high risk baby who will need surgery. I'm so incredibly disappointed I'm allowing my baby to go through this. I feel trapped.
WOW, just when I thought you had covered all the subjects Danish. This has given me an insight, an incredible insight into why my children suffer so much. Not only were both of my parents narcissists, but my ex husband was as well. My sons for sure had ADD, and all 3 children have extreme anxiety. I would NEVER have thought of this as an explanation, but it make so much sense. My ex put me through the ringer each time I was pregnant, between acting like I cut off a limb of his, to acting so selfish, or demanding for me to be a super sexual creature, uggghhh, I didn't even have time to think of it at that time, but it makes sense that those hormones would be transferred to the baby. I don't know how my mother was when I was in utero or first born, because she is a master at revisionist history - - - but as a parent of a young child she didn't want much if anything to do with rearing a child. She spent a LOT of time in her room, in her bed, or on the phone and smoking cigarettes talking to friends. She never did a thing when I was sick. If I was sick or hurt, that was an inconvenience. I would either be cussed out, yelled a viciously, or blamed for making things difficult on her. My grandparents had to take care of me, buying me crackers and soda, aspirin, etc and bringing it to me. I was aware to never "be sick" because you can't expect your mother to care for you. I learned to take care of myself if I needed help. The MOST she would do was make something to eat for us, but if we in any way rejected the food there was hell to pay. She came right out and told me that she wanted nothing to do with my activities as a child. I"f you want to do something, don't count on me to help you or to come to support you." Sometimes she would lock me out of the house during the day, and let me in only to eat lunch. I remember having to walk to school and the library from a very young age. My Mother was a stay at home mother, as well, so it made no sense. My sister was more compliant, so she got a pass, and she would serve as a kind of trophy making my Mom look like a model parent. My mother kept a copy of Dr. James Dobson's 'The Strong Willed Child' prominently displayed at my eye level on the bookshelf, most likely a gift from my baptist grandparents.
My child's father is a narc. I could feel a strange sensation in my belly whenever he abused me, and he made me really upset. I know my baby was being affected at these times. I just knew. He's 5 now and he hasn't been tested for anything but shows symptoms of autism and ADHD.
My ex husband is a narcissist and when he married his new wife, he told her he wanted no children. He already had 3 with me. She was 10 years younger than him and had never had a child of her own, so she got pregnant on purpose. I couldn't blame her one bit. He made her life a living hell while she was pregnant with that child, only eventually pretending he was excited because it got him attention. When the baby was born, she had severe autism and is roughly 11 or so now, and almost completely non-verbal. So I think there is something to be said for this.
My mother is a narcissist and I was born two months early in 2977 and I almost died. I've always been able to feel the feelings of others and sometimes if I'm around a lot of people I can feel their emotions and it can really take a toll on me. I used to say that I could feel her feelings in the womb and I decided to get out of her womb and I wasn't going to stay inside of her anymore so I decided to be born early and now I know that is true
I was very anxious as a child and as a teenager that sadly developed in extreme paranoia. But my 2 younger brothers and my younger sister don't have these anxiety issues so severe like me
took the morning after pill twice with narc ex to make absolutely certain would not get pregnant, my mother was married to a narcissist and moved in for solace with her narcissistic moth thank god for her empathetic father
He dumped her when she was pregnant.. met the child at six months old.. saw the child at one y/o.. and saw the child again at 2 y/o.. After that, he hoovered her just for happy weekends.. he mistreated the child (narc stare, narc smile, narc gifts, narc neglect..) the child knew there was something wrong.. until being a teen and the child got cancer.. leukemia.. After that.. the struggle continues.. he has to pay for everything... an old narc.. in the path of destruction..
I've always been my narcissist mother scapegoat and mental, emotional and physical punching bag. I'm 46 and she's never said I love you too me or I'm proud of you but she has told me she wishes I died at birth
I was born with a broken collar bone? Im 60 now & also convinced my Famdamnly members for sure started their harm of me on that Friday the 13th day for their group Harm'money.
My life……😢😢😢😢😢my brothers have tons of rage . We all have thyroid problems. I have had anxiety all my life…..my mother was very sick with me and needed compressions on her back so I had massive extremely loud sounds , and my mom was rh NEGETIVE and my father was rh positive….she needed the Rhogam vaccine to have kids….or her body would destroy us…..my mom never cared for herself and I have been sick all my life. My brothers and I ARENT close. My fathers family was chronically at war with his family. Due to my mom needing compressions on her back the patient in the other room was banging on the wall thinking it was my mom but it was the dr doing compressions on my moms back to release fluid out of her lungs….imagine what that sounded to me IN THE WOMB. MY FAITH IS THE ONLY THING SUSTAINING ME. 40 years later my mom still doesn’t care for herself 40 years I have had to see Drs …..grown up in the medical field…..have had thyroid problems all my life…..thyroid runs on my fathers family and my mom had a thyroid problems….she had 2 miscarriages and 1 ectopic pregnancy.
My Mother told me that she hated me before I was born. During the delivery the tracktion stoot still. I refused to com. Was more dead then alive when I finaly came out. The Nurse has given me cold and warm bath untill I started to breathing and crying. Then she wanted to give me to my Mother, who refused to take me. The Nurse most have looked rader strange. This is the story during an argument that I hat with her when I was 13 years. Never cold understand why she didn,t love me. Sinds that Day the Tables turned. I started to make her life like hell. My Father loved me thanks for that. Also hat nigthmare,s about pre-borne sounds, colours and slow spinning. Wake up crying and very afraid, running to my parents bethroom. It was always my Father who took care of me, calm me down, fell asleep in his arms. In the morning I found myself back in my own bed. With 39 I saw on the TV a documentaire about what children go,s True duriing the delivery. I saw my Nigthmare. Finally could make the connection.
I suffered narcissistic abuse and trauma which lasted into pregnancy...the result is unfortunately that my kid got diagnosed with dual morbidity of ADHD+Autism.
Can you please make a video about N parents that are sick? They want me to care a lot and call on me to drop/pickup from hospital and appointments. I feel trapped. How do I stop feeling guilty?
Sir please help me....I was gone through all these cruelty during my pregnancy... and my daughter is suffering from chronic exfoliative chellitis ... how can we over come ... please help
My mother is although a narcissistic... But for as she said she wanted to have me... Because everyone who knew her tells her she should not have a child beinng a mother is not for her... So she wanted to show them what a great mother she would be.... She although told me thice that I am not her true child.. Because she twisted me with her real child at the hospital when I was born.. She saw her child and think it is not a beautiful one... I was more acceptable to her.. So she waited for the right moment and swap me for her biological child... I don't know what to think about that. She always said it was a joke but she lies all the time and I think she would be able to do some thing like that... Don't have contact to her sins years now.
Hello all and dear Host. My mom was a drunk which is the reason why born an underweight premmie. Also did not breast fed she claimed that did not want her breasts bitten. Haha ! In addition to this, narc moms can be literally violent to their infants up to toddler age. Why ? As our dear Host pointed out, their state of pregnancy and giving birth. On that note, the birthing pains may cause the narc to hurt the child whether an infant or toddler. To me, new rules should be applied and put into effect for protection and preventive care of the child...no matter their age. A new mother can not gauge or know the pain she is going to endure. So, it would be in her baby's best interest and hers for both to be closely monitored on a weekly or more basis. Excuse me for the rant.
@@StephieGsrEvolutionDarn shame. Do these mother's know in doing such behavior they are depriving the child of needed nutrients ? Also, that may be the reason why their children do not bond to them. Dear Sis Stephie...excuse me, I get very indignant when children or should I say anyone is abused. My questions are not for you to answer.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Wow ! At least she let it out...not trying to excuse her behavior. On the other hand, there are those who are quiet and should be watched.
@@olharleypurrs haa I understand! Mine only got worse. I think her problem was being parentified so much with responsibility to take care of her brothers and sisters from a very young age. Even having to sell papers and balloons so they could eat. By the time she had me at 19, her maternal energy was spent.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Wow ! Speaking of responsibility, my mom claimed she loved and wanted me. If memory serves, love is an action word which is followed with other words. Such as being ; affectionate, considerate, patience, kind, self-control...things of that nature not the opposite.
My son works in a hospital testing blood and after the shots he noticed evidence of spontaneous abortions in the blood of women. He has other friends that got pregnant and have healthy babies. So if the body rejects the narcissist in womb(not natural..free radical)… does this mean the narcissist will stop being born after the shots? A new humanity if you will? ❤
Unfortunately i face all problems u explained in all ur videos. Now i want to divorce but i need money to raise my kid. I can work and earn money but i cannot give good life to kid. So in india how to get monthly expense for a child from a narcissistic husband
If everything goes well this should do the job. But listen, there's one factor that's usually overlooked that can considerably speed up the process, unfortunately I do not have it at hand, but it can be go’ogled Dobbie Nerkstrol's Infertility Cure, I think.
Correct GOD had given me 2 kids later on in my marriage For a reason? Yes....narcissist husband waited forvyhem to gtow to show his true colours Now we r suffering n nobody wants to believe us
This is so wrong putting the emphasis on the mother....most of us don't realise the abuse...we would never knowingly our children through it. Put the emphasis on the abuser
but the abuser Was my narc. mother and she still is. she doesn’t realize she abused/abuses me, as she never healed her own trauma. i, however have taken a different and am healing myself. it’s taken many, many years.
What about children of police or firefighters? Babies born during war time? Our lives are full of stress ... I think we are going a little overboard now 😅😅😅
While it may seem so, I invite you to do your own research on this subject, read scientific articles and understand in utero trauma. You don’t have to believe my words
Danish is correct and isn’t going overboard. Life happens at the moment of conception, therefore, mother and child are instantly bonded whether positive or negative. Just because the child is in the womb doesn’t mean they aren’t being exposed to anything because that’s like saying the pregnancy isn’t viable until it peeks his/her face into the world. The high levels of stress and toxic environments the fetus is exposed to ABSOLUTELY correlates to abandonment, rejection, hearing constant arguing etc. Ever hear of the term “nervous baby?” It is a medical term where the baby can’t be soothed and/or self-soothe due to overstimulation and where ADHD comes in. On the flip-side, Autism also stems from rejection and abandonment and affected the child to be more slower and recognizable during their formative years which is 0-7. This is the time when the child is developing their personalities and will shape who they will become later in life. I will share one of many personal experiences… I had a friend who our daughters were born 2 months apart (now 8). She suffered several chemical pregnancies before she became pregnant with her daughter. In laymen’s terms her body was rejecting the pregnancies and I also believe the rape she experienced as a teenager also contributed. On top of that she and her husband constantly fight, so this child is getting it from both ends per se. I never said anything, but I knew her baby was Autistic at 2 months old, however, wasn’t my place to say unless asked. I could see the difference in our babies, something was off, one being very hard to soothe. Everytime I picked her up and did the same exact thing to get my daughter to sleep my friend said…you’re the only one who can get her to do that. You see her baby recognized safety although I wasn’t her biological mother. Fast forward to age 3 and her daughter was in the beginning stages of getting tested for Autism and it was confirmed she is autistic. Sad, but true! Understand, any type of unhealed trauma stays trapped in the body and why it is very easy for a mother to pass on her emotions and/or emotional state to her unborn.
Very true, wonderful stuff! Can you please include they/them/their when you are trying to refer to a person by gender & not exclusively his/her as there are those that suffer from narcissistic abuse for not fitting those exclusive gender identities & are already erased by many people & would be more included just adding they/them when making gendered references, I would argue all people who are not cisgendered &/or are intersex go through narcissistic abuse & are left out when you use exclusively gendered terms in referring only to cisgendered identities. Many of these traumas cause trans folk & non binary folk to suicide or extreme self harm because they are invisible, ignored, shamed, killed, bullied, etc, etc & hearing more inclusive language would be wonderful as it would reach everybody & not be referred to only his/her which isn't inclusive of others who do not fit the cisgender profile who are also going through it too & narcissists already love to erase people & break people. More inclusive language would go such a long way & I personally would appreciate it & not feel disconnected every time I hear gender exclusive language that I myself don't fit in & suffered all types of abuse for. Hope this reaches you & you have a wonderful day!
My husband didn't show signs of narcassism until I got pregnant with our first child (he was a planned pregnancy for us both). Once I was pregnant, that's when the devil came out of my husband. He's been worse and worse every year since then. I recently finalized my divorce.
Same here. It took years to realise he didn’t like us
My ex left us the day he found out about the baby. It's been about 10 months or so and I haven't seen him since the day before... he's such a devil... I cried and was angry throughout the pregnancy but I can kiss the 8 years of wasted time goodbye when I realize some people had to endure such abuse... all the best, you can handle more than you think and even though there might be snot and tears you will be amazed at the result even just in a year from today. ❤🎉
@jkn3042 aside from dislike, he probably is jealous of you guys as well.
I’m still on the fence with my partner it’s so hard to really accept that this is what’s going on because he’s so subtle… I might be In denial but I think all the time about ending the relationship ..
If you're not 100% certain a person is alright in the head (rational, moral, trustworthy, reliable, wise, safe, etc), then don't waste time with them. You're only delaying the inevitable. Additionally, the more time you spend with someone, the more memories, health issues, regret, trauma and depression you'll have to work through. Nip this in the bud now, heal and then live a good life
I did suspect this. My narcissistic mother wanted a son and was disappointed when I turned out to be a daughter. I know she rejected me in the womb cos she ate what she was told not to when pregnant. After birth she told me how she forgot to feed me, give me medicine when I was sick etc and I never cried. When I started school I remember being very frightened and isolated. As I grew up I couldn't see the board. My parents got my eyes checked only when I was 14 and my sight had deteriorated a lot by then. Both my parents neglected me. I had a very painful childhood. How could parents do this to their children? I wonder how I survived in that hostile environment
God must have prepared for you a special path on the Earth
I had very similar experience, both my parents are narcissists. I found refuge in liquor & cannabis but I survived. I don't have many friends and almost no relatives. But I m happy.
Same story....
Sorry for what happened to you. lol like my daughter says twinsies. We learn from them to not be like them, I try my best to be there for my child, I'm not perfect but trying is what counts 😅 I'm sure you do the same. Thank you for sharing your story
I'm mad and sad I got pregnant by a Narcissist 😢
Red flag one - Where a child is conceived as a "solution" to a pre-existing crisis or pre-existing boredom or pre-existing stupidity or pre-existing conflict.
I was definitely born sad and depressed to the core. Near 50 now, no contact with any family, still healing, but I am much better without anyone of them, mother especialy. Go no contact as soon as possible!
I'm 59, when I was 3 I tried to run away, later my big brother wanted us to run away, when I was 12 I thought about suicide, when 21 I just tried to live, believe in Jesus saved my life, now I relive my past and forgive myself for all mistakes I done in my life, I like myself and many good people like me too, but I don't accept idiots into my life anymore, not even for one day, God bless and help you, remember you must work hard everyday to get away from being a victime😊
Same here
My mother drank heavily when she was pregnant with me and I was born with featal alcoholic syndrome. I was the middle child and the scapegoat in the family, and recieved brutal physical abuse (tried to drown me when I was 6), emotional neglect and abuse on a daily basis. My mother used to say practically every day 'I was fine until you came along... go and die ya fucking bastard'. I fully understand now as a 43yo why child protection took my siblings and I away and placed us into foster care many times from the age of 6-15. After becoming a mother myself nearly 2 years ago, I'm proud to be a cycle-breaker, but I am also aware that I need to work on my trauma disregulation with my therapist to be the best mum that I can be for my son.
I had a baby with a narcissist and the baby was overdue and he nearly was classified as failure to thrive. I know a friend who lost her baby because she was with a narcissist. This is a very sad and dangerous situation. 💔😭
My baby was the same way. He was 2 weeks past his due date and the amniotic fluid was almost dried up. I had to induce or the midwife told me I could lose the child. I induced, and then made the mistake of having my ex sign a voluntary parental agreement. Now I'm getting a restraining order and then I'm going to file for a name change for my son so that he can have my name instead of my ex's.
@@user-wp3tr3ns4l bless you 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻this is just so heartbreaking to go through. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
My mother is narcissistic! I was 1 month premature. My mother told me when I was a toddler and still nursing I never wanted to be rocked I climbed off her lap and wanted to be put to bed. Walked over to my crib and wanted to be put to bed…..and once I grabbed the baby spoon out of my parents hands and wanted to feed myself and to this very day I HAVE HAD TO BE VERYYYYYYYYY INDEPENDENT.😢😢😢😢
This reminds me of my mother, always bragging about how early I was able to accomplish everything. Her favorite is to say that I was sitting on a potty chair at somewhere between 3-6 months, and she is so proud when she says this. I always tell her, "do you not realize how abnormal that is, a child shouldn't be potty trained until 9-12 months or when they are walking." I tell her "that says more about you as a mother, than it says about me", as in you didn't want to be bothered to change diapers so you tried to potty train me at a ridiculously early age.
I was born premature in the 7th month, father probably psychopath, mother very sick and toxic herself. I have a few defects from birth, thank to the Divine powers i raised myself psychologically and mentally healthy, 44 years now, a narcissist buster my whole life, the struggle is real, but Light wins 😉❤
Hello dear one. You and me both have same story.
@@jbrown2908 thank you 🙏 to you too my friend
@@olharleypurrs ❤️ this is actually a blessing, not a curse, it made you the strongest of the strong warrior of the Light
@@nicoller4042 Same to you precious dear one.
My nmom always joked saying that “I didn’t want to come into the world” since I was born late, and I didn’t want to come out at all. I also had water in my brain as well when I was born, thankfully it went away. also looked depressed in my childhood photos from a young age, my eyes wide, a thousand yard stare in my eyed. And I can see the evil in my mom’s eyes in the photos.
I’m not trying to blame everything on their narcissism but I would not be surprised if all of that was because of how they are.
Thank you Danish! We’ve all heard of eating for two, how about trauma for two?? Because that is what it is. Momma sad and depressed. Momma angry and rife with cortisol from daily battle with the Narcissist. If it hurts momma, it hurts her unborn child just the same. NARCs are evil!!
I was told by relatives when my mother was pregnant i didnt want to come out so they induced labour. I also was in wrong position legs first so they had to do section. And i also was wrapped up with umbilical so the doctor had a tough time. Now thinking about it, i think i didnt want to come into this world knowing what awaits me ahead.
Its simply that your mother's womb was to small to accommodate your growing body. Not everything is Narcissist abuse. Read a medical book. Lol
@@ravenstillwaters5195 maybe, maybe not all is medical.
These words are beyond true. I wish I had found this channel while I was going through the worst narcissistic abuse I had ever experienced. My daughter was born 3 weeks early, she was the meanest angriest baby ever. She would cry as if we were unaliving her during diaper changes. But I kept praying and speaking positive affirmations over her and 18 months later she is a happy little soul. She still is very anxious at times and we help her to see she can sit and enjoy a meal in her high chair without constantly being on the go. I am still married to my narcissist and daddy doesn’t appeal to her heart. Mommies you can pray that trauma off of your babies. Just love them, be patient, kind and understanding. Breastfeed if you can. They will get better! God bless you Danish for bringing this subject to light ❤
It took 27 years to understand that whom I call mother is not my mother.She hated me since birth
This makes so much scents my Mom is an Indifferent narcissistic and Ive been painfully stressed and never felt safe on a basic daily life. I know this is not what or how God sees me. I choose His words over families hurtful ways.
Worse part of my pregnancy journey is , i got induced and i was sent home . My midwife said to be in touch , as you will be any time raedy for labour, so when you feel any kind of pain , youll have to immediately come in to the hospital. In such a critical situation, my husband got a call from one of his friends who wanted to get some petty thing done . My husband left me alone even in such a situation. What kind of a man will do that? What could be more important to a man than his child and wife ?
My narcissist mother has been bulimic my whole life. She puked while pregnant with me. She bragged about the fact that she hardly gained weight during her pregnancy. She was a weight shamer my whole life. I am a true miracle, and it has been a lifelong journey to accept myself.
You go girl ❤️
I feel so identified.
My mother always bragged about being thin.
I suffered from IUGR, born preemie.
Spent my first months in an indubator.
I had sleep apnea, so i can only imagine the abuse I was put through because of their frustration.
They left me with my grandma most of the day. I had terrible separation anxiety. I also had problems with food. And got neglected by a daycare center. Had to be hospitalised with enteral nutrition.
I despise my parents so much.
The harm they caused it's inmensurable.
@polespinosa4858 I am so sorry to hear this. As I grew up, I realized that I was raised by someone who was also abused. No one wants to be bulimic. I was raised by someone who was tormented herself daily, and unfortunately, I was her emotional punching bag. I forgive her for myself. Free yourself and know it wasn't your fault. ❤️
I went through domestic violence with my daughter narcissistic father when I was 8 and 9 months pregnant with our daughter and my daughter came out with ADHD I wish I had knew this knowledge nine years ago when I was pregnant thanks for this information
ADHD isn’t due to someone having a narcissistic parent 😂🤦🏻♀️
I have ADHD, and so does my Dad, brother, and sister. It’s really no big deal if you learn positive ways to manage and cope with it.
A baby doesn’t “come out” with ADHD because of trauma in utero. It may be hereditary, not sure, but please don’t misinterpret Danish’s very useful information. ADHD has NOTHING to do with narcissism or trauma.
This makes sense I was born 8 months. And I was very sick as a child. 😢 god gave me life.
My narcissist mother turned all of my siblings against my Dad. Since I wouldn't turn against him, she told everyone that I was just like him. I'm the youngest of 8. I'm still the outcast.
This is really informative. I never knew it could form that early and even attack the baby in the womb. That's so crazy to think about but it does make a lot of sense. Both of my parents are narcs and I was an unplanned child. I'm the last of my siblings and coincidentally always the last priority to my parents. I stopped talking early when I kept going through the same cycle of feeling unwanted. My opinion never mattered and to this day, it's still the same way. My parents hear what they want to hear and god forbid I voice my opinion on anything, there's an immediate shut down and correction of how I'm supposed to feel about something. How I'm supposed to feel is also coincidentally in favor of how they feel about whatever it is. It's to the point where I go with as little contact as I possibly can with them. I don't talk to my dad at all and I try my best not to talk to my mom. The conversation is always the same and my opinions are always wrong or I'm not going about the the way she wants me to. It's annoying and I just deal with it long enough for me to hang up the phone. I'm tired of complying but I know things will never change. She's sensitive to criticism which means you can't tell her anything but she will cut you down any chance she gets by saying some really hurtful things. I hate the dynamic I have with my parents. I just wanted support and to be heard and respected. I never got that so I went inward. I stopped talking and looking for any kind of connection externally. Over time I gained some friends but that came from the rare times when I could actually show the real me without being shutdown or letting that feeling my parents embedded in me take over. Even now, I barely talk. I talk to my friends but that isn't all that healthy if I don't talk to other people too. I can meet new people, I make friends easily but I don't really actively go out and do that. It's more of whoever talks to me first then I will respond because I'm hardwired to not "speak unless I'm spoken to". This stuff runs deep. I'm a lot better than I was growing up but the behavior is still there sometimes. When I see happy families out in public it makes me wonder what my life would've been like if I had better parents. I'm smart and kind but my growth was definitely stunted by my birth givers.
Oh dear one, I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same position as a youngster. Did not speak to anyone as a toddler up to what age...have no clue. Could be due to having malignant narcs for parents who always fought ( literally ) for power and control over the other. Yes, with all that going on, I shut down ( internally frozen ) but was hyper vigilant which made very aware of my surroundings. I hear and accept you dear precious one.
I get it. Like if you say anything they don't agree with, they put you down. They stunt a person from being all they can be. As time goes on, just cut back the time that you spend on them or anyone that is negative. Not saying to cut them off, but, what else can you do? Here is what they have done to you, they have denied you validation. Therefore, you have to get it either from others or much easier, get it from yourself. This is hard to do by the way, but every morning look in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes, and just say some nice things, like "I love you" (5 or 10 times) or "You are going to have a great day today!" You know, all positive words are validating. Just say anything nice and positive. You have a deficiency of positivity in your life. See if you can find some cool positive affirmations on CZcams, or online.
Naricissists are the most negative ugly mean people you can meet. Absolutely stay away from anyone like that. They drain your life force from you. I am here to tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to, you can be a positive force in this world. You can inspire people too, because of what you have been through, as they can relate! I'm proud of you, as a fellow human being who has had to put up with this stuff too. Keep going forward, and find and live your dreams! You can do it 100%! I know because I also am having to deal with all of this as well. Best Wishes!
❤
My mother didnt want me and when she get pregnant with me she would move heavy objects in the house cause she wanted to have a spontaneous (telling me that my father,her husband,wanted the second child and didnt let her go to abortion)...the worst thing is that everytime she speaks about it, she laughs how I "decided" to stay in her utero no matter what she tried to do to get rid of me.
It makes a lot of sense Danish. Being born to a narcisistic mother is pain and trauma from day one. The cruelty of a mother towards her own child is unbelievably damaging. Only God can heal such wounds.Thank you Danish. God bless you❤
100 % on point based from personal experience
Being child of narcissistic mother and father I experienced emotional trauma as you explained. Now I am 57 and got devorce from narcissistic husband and I am healing. Thank you for your information
This happened to me. My grandmother said my "mother" cried her whole pregnancy that she didn't want to have me. I was a trap baby. She was only 19. My "parents" considered abortion, but too catholic.
She started abusing me at 2 months, according to her. It was hell.
Born with inflammed red blotches all over my skin (atopic) from eczema. My momster said she told the doctor to take me back. The amount of resentment she has for me, even as a baby, is astounding.
I found out too many others have similar experiences. 😓
Oh wow! My husband has ADHD. He was adopted.
When there is no safe place, you become resilient, self reliant, withdrawn etc and trauma bonded. Self awareness of the situation has helped me the most. You have zero effect on the narcs, you can control how you react to their abuse. Escape through no contact isnt an option for some, it will eventually happen through natural events.
Me personally, neither parent wanted children, both narcs. I was turned into a slave. Its still happening (mid 50's now). I dont entertain thoughts of leaving - as there is nowhere I belong. Pessimistic some may suggest. You may want something else, doesnt mean you can learn the skill needed. Im being realistic. To unlearn programming and relearn new sets of life skills is set by time, and time is unkind. That is the truth of the matter. I practice altruism with strangers as that gets me by, and I leave something better in the world than I receive. Sometimes for some of us, that is the best it gets, and that is OK too. x
My narcissist mother set up the stage for me to be with other narcissists. My mom abandoned me recently after I saw her for who she is and refused to allow her to have anymore control over my life & she has turned my 2 brothers against me. I also wasn't aware of the abuse I was in with my boyfriend of 14 years. We were trauma bonded. He tried to get me pregnant but God didn't allow it to happen thankfully. I gave my life to God after 6 months of being with him. I should have immediately left him but we were enmeshed and he ended up passing away a year ago or I might still be with him. Now that I've been alone for awhile my eyes are opened to the abuse. He said that if I left him with a child he would turn the child against me & he didn't seem to think there was something wrong with that? God protected me. Your videos are so helpful. I've been watching them back to back. Learning a lot. Thank you for your work!
I recently found your videos and have found them to be very healing. You get right to the point. I appreciate that. Thank you for caring! You are a good person.
I was born to a smoking drinking narcissistic mother and narc father. I came out as a “blue baby” (cardio pulmonary issues), spent two months in NICU unable to digest anything but sugary drinks. I was neglected and eventually abandoned to relatives at the age of five. I was again treated with neglect and told repeatedly that I was unwanted until taken to another family situation, again with two scarcely capable narcissistic parents. Today I suffer from several immunity issues, a high (due to nervous energy!) metabolism, frequent bouts of pneumonia, and several food sensitivities. I was lucky to have been eventually put into school (late in childhood) where, despite being bullied often, I found some relief from the home situation, and later in life discovered hiking, where I could be in the peacefulness of nature, gain some physical strength, and be away from the home for hours at a time. Having narcissistic birth parents does indeed effect your babyhood and later life health, not just your mental health.
Oh this makes sense. 😢I nearly died during birth bc the placenta tore and the cord was around my neck. Ouch this one hurts. 😢
This is all just too upsetting. Why have children. I told her I wish she put me up for adoption.
I and my 3 siblings were raised by complicit narcissistic parents. I was the scapegoat AND I was pretty much the "mother" of my little sister and brother as well as my mother. And our home and emotional environment WAS a shit show. My older brother and I have been in counseling the majority of our adult lives. We survived a cruel, f'd up dysfunctional and painful "family" dynamic. And here I am at 66 still trying to overcome it all as I struggle to understand it all. I just exited a horrific narcissistic relationship myself. I've struggled with a "broken picker" when it comes to friends and significant others. I've also suffered with PTSD, severe complex depression and anxiety. Even with all my counseling, book reading, journaling, and mental health meds, I still struggle with the fact that I was unwanted. I've done my very best to overcome what I endured but life is still complicated and challenging. My heart goes out to all who've suffered from narcissistic relationships, especially if it was one or both parents.
Brilliant, Danish! You come up with unique topics that do not have much info regarding them on social media. Keep up the fantastic work! Thank you.
Thank you for this Danish. My ex wife and mother of my twin 8 year olds (girl+boy) is vulnerable narcissist. Not surprising because her father is a grandiose narcissist. The information you provide has helped me understand our situation better. Luckily I'm a Sigma Empath (hence she divorced me after 16 years) and I've been able to counter a lot of the energy she gives them. Keep up the good work man🙌
Who gave you the title Sigma empath??.. to me it seems like you are the narc!!
@@user-el4yq5bf4j During a one on one with the marriage counselor she described the dynamic which added a lot of puzzle pieces to the situation. My ex had already gone through a great deal of therapy for her anxiety disorder years prior during which the narcissism of her father was confirmed and my ex was forced to face the reality that she was as well.
@@ryanwraith bro, you’re sus af…someone with that debilitating of an anxiety disorder, especially a person that is SEEKING OUT THERAPY would not fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD….wonder what is making her so terribly nervous and stressed?
Every once in a while, we find the real narc. Good attempt with your “sigma empath” power though…you clearly are victimless and kinda obsessed with her dad…creepy.
But of course you’re not the problem. The real question is HAVE YOU sought out REAL therapy for a long period of time to better understand yourself?!?
If not, there’s a reason why. Prayers for your ex and her children.
God this is so weird because this is something I recently realized for myself and it's something I didn't realize before. My mother used to say to me all the time things like I was an accident (But then she would laugh and say that it was a happy accident) and she used to tell me all these things about what an easy baby I was (But I now understand what she meant is that she could just leave me anywhere and ignore me and I wouldn't do anything or fuss) and things I realized more recently were quite sinister that she would tell me like there was a story she told me about how she tried to pin my diaper on and she was pushing the diaper pin as hard as she could and finally my face turned red and I screamed really loud and she realized she had been pushing the pin into me. This was told as a funny story in my family for years and I always felt very uncomfortable about it and never knew why until now as an adult I understand that it's impossible to push that hard into a baby's leg and not know that you're pushing a pin into them like that and I started to think about what it must have been like being her child her baby her newborn the baby in her womb and I started thinking about how awful it must have been because I write poetry and I write songs and I would always write things like since before you were born since before you were born since before you were born that kind of thing like over and over again, understanding that all of this abuse started before I was born before I was even alive I was dead if that makes sense. anyway this was probably a confusing comment but I'm a songwriter and I honestly never understood all the poetry and songs that I wrote from a very young age but it was all part of trying to process the trauma that I was going through and when I look at my songs today I realize what a lot of the lyrics mean. I really just wrote the same song over and over and over again because I never understood that my mother was abusing me. She was covert and my father wasn't so he was the one I was keeping my eye on. But she is the one that literally stood by watching me die from a medical reason and did nothing. I was lucky that someone intervened and saved my life but she just stood there and did nothing. Deep down I know she would have been glad if I died because there were many times under her "care" that I did almost lose my life. She always pretended to be oblivious and she always said she like to play devil's advocate and now I understand what she meant by all those comments she made. I cry for that little baby now just imagining the things she must have whispered in my ear. She hated me and I thought she was my best friend which makes no sense. She would bait my father so much and I would beg her to stop doing that because he would take it out on me and she would just laugh and say oh don't worry about it
One of my first memories was my dad kicking my mom on the stomach while 8 or 9 months pregnant. I found out as an adult that he did that while she was pregnant with me as well. He was abusive in every way, I always felt like I had to protect my mom and family like a guard dog, unfortunately my mom didn't show me love growing up. He was also racist and would discriminate my brother because he was our mom's color. I have more stories, too many unfortunately. This should be child abuse. She we was in an arranged marriage at 15 and had me until she was 17, she had suffered for those years before having me, I constantly feel like I have to be cautious.
❤
Very interesting! Could you please speak about narcissist mother and baby daughter?
😢wheew this video made me burst into tears. Explains so much... my newborn came 8 weeks early. I would cry and stress throughout the pregnancy, i just couldn't believe that he would discard us when he heard that i was pregnant. Shes 5 weeks old... and i plan to giver her all the love and care i possibly can, considering that she was going with me through trauma... by grace i believe, i have never seen him again, after the entire 8 years of being together... its most likely a blessing in disguise. Thank you, so very much for the work you do on this channel and how you educate us in care and compassion.
When they can. They'll abort the baby. Trust me it happened. They are that evil.
They will definitely bring it up whenever you can't afford Starbucks etc.......
I would've rather have been aborted.
My mother with MS miscarried and I was born premature with health problems due to stress from narc father
My son did not cry when he was born...I knew immediately that my now ex spouse who is a narcissistic woman had to do with it
Everytime I think about it I get really sad. She is a very neglectful parent and has denied me the right to co-parent...She cut me off my son's life
Use the court system, if you are not abusive you will be granted access.
I have been trying to take action through child welfare institutions in my country but my worst enemy has been my own family..I feel that they betrayed me first by refusing to listen to my account and secondly by siding with my narcissistic ex and blaming me for everything.
I am not abusive but I like telling the truth...If telling the truth is being abusive then I am guilty
@@jbrown2908 Thanks 🙏 for noticing that
You are right and Gabor Mate agrees with you and I.
My case is that my mother is the malignant narcissist. She says she has never had diseases but pregnancies and I know I had a twin who died at birth. It's long to explain how I found out but I know it's true because everytime I have asked my mother she said I was crazy and everytime I asked her the same: I have asked you a simple question you can answer with a yes or a no and me being crazy or not it's not the question... she shut up with her thin cruel lips tighten as if she was scared the truth could slip out of them. I don't know why my twin died; it's top secret but I found a picture taken of it little body (I don't know if it was a boy or a girl... it was eviscerated and the guts covered the pelvis).😢
What I'm wondering.. how do I heal from this trauma?
I'm a Licensed Massage Therapist, and I know certain modalities of massage help greatly.. but what else can I do besides talk to God, exercise, eat good food?? I'm working on building new brain pathways by traveling and trying new activities. Obviously I'm doing the inner work also, and this channel helps greatly. Thank you Danish!! 🙏
Try somatic exercises. I have done it by myself and it helps. I'm not healed and I don't know if I will ever heal after a lifetime of neglect and abuse but allowing your body to shake really helps because trauma gets stored in the body. I have hear that people can cry releasing while shaking but it has not happened to me. In case it happens, allow yourself to cry or laugh.
It feels great. I try not doing it before sleep because although I get wonderfully relaxed, I can't sleep afterwards but I don't know if that would be your case.
There are videos in CZcams. Don't get alarmed by seeing people shaking because it looks weird and you might take it like something strange and undesirable but it makes wonders. You have to do it for a few months but I can't say for how long. Just don't be afraid and allow your body to shake in bed or in the floor in a peaceful environment.
Best wishes 💜
@Lyrielonwind Thank you! Yes, I do what you mentioned and dancing, singing helps.. and of course laughter. I appreciate your response.
This makes a lot of sense but could you interview like an OBGYN about this? I don't know hour qualifications but would be interesting to see like test results or something specific an OB would have access to but could keep the anonymity of those involved protected. Thanks.
You are actually helping a lot of people. Thanks.
Thank you for your insight.
Great enlightenment!! Thank you for what you do. May God bless you ceaselessly!
Have always wondered about this
Super analysis
Thank you for the forgiveness for not knowing… when I was pregnant… and the action item to give great compassion now.
So helpful and frees me to focus on doing good now and in the future.
Similar to what a drug baby goes thru! Wow, Danish..... explains a lot at 62 yrs old
Yepp and fetal alcohol syndrome
My adoptive moms bio son had all of those psychiatric disorders. Depression, severe dhd, anxiety. She is one of the most narcissistic mothers i know. She miscarried twins and another child. Maybe this is why she misscaried so many times as well. She abused me in every was she could and she abused her bio son
this explains why i am the way i am ,my mother and father both are horrible humans and narcissists both of them destroyed me and my brothers lives ,my mother tells us she didn't wanted children and blames my father for it
I'm currently pregnant with an already very high risk baby who will need surgery. I'm so incredibly disappointed I'm allowing my baby to go through this. I feel trapped.
Thank you
Thank you Danish. I have wondered about this all my life. Now I know at least what signs to look for I think
WOW, just when I thought you had covered all the subjects Danish. This has given me an insight, an incredible insight into why my children suffer so much. Not only were both of my parents narcissists, but my ex husband was as well. My sons for sure had ADD, and all 3 children have extreme anxiety. I would NEVER have thought of this as an explanation, but it make so much sense. My ex put me through the ringer each time I was pregnant, between acting like I cut off a limb of his, to acting so selfish, or demanding for me to be a super sexual creature, uggghhh, I didn't even have time to think of it at that time, but it makes sense that those hormones would be transferred to the baby. I don't know how my mother was when I was in utero or first born, because she is a master at revisionist history - - - but as a parent of a young child she didn't want much if anything to do with rearing a child. She spent a LOT of time in her room, in her bed, or on the phone and smoking cigarettes talking to friends. She never did a thing when I was sick. If I was sick or hurt, that was an inconvenience. I would either be cussed out, yelled a viciously, or blamed for making things difficult on her. My grandparents had to take care of me, buying me crackers and soda, aspirin, etc and bringing it to me. I was aware to never "be sick" because you can't expect your mother to care for you. I learned to take care of myself if I needed help. The MOST she would do was make something to eat for us, but if we in any way rejected the food there was hell to pay. She came right out and told me that she wanted nothing to do with my activities as a child. I"f you want to do something, don't count on me to help you or to come to support you." Sometimes she would lock me out of the house during the day, and let me in only to eat lunch. I remember having to walk to school and the library from a very young age. My Mother was a stay at home mother, as well, so it made no sense. My sister was more compliant, so she got a pass, and she would serve as a kind of trophy making my Mom look like a model parent. My mother kept a copy of Dr. James Dobson's 'The Strong Willed Child' prominently displayed at my eye level on the bookshelf, most likely a gift from my baptist grandparents.
My child's father is a narc. I could feel a strange sensation in my belly whenever he abused me, and he made me really upset. I know my baby was being affected at these times. I just knew. He's 5 now and he hasn't been tested for anything but shows symptoms of autism and ADHD.
My ex husband is a narcissist and when he married his new wife, he told her he wanted no children. He already had 3 with me. She was 10 years younger than him and had never had a child of her own, so she got pregnant on purpose. I couldn't blame her one bit. He made her life a living hell while she was pregnant with that child, only eventually pretending he was excited because it got him attention. When the baby was born, she had severe autism and is roughly 11 or so now, and almost completely non-verbal. So I think there is something to be said for this.
Thanks so much ❤🎉😊
My mother is a narcissist and I was born two months early in 2977 and I almost died. I've always been able to feel the feelings of others and sometimes if I'm around a lot of people I can feel their emotions and it can really take a toll on me. I used to say that I could feel her feelings in the womb and I decided to get out of her womb and I wasn't going to stay inside of her anymore so I decided to be born early and now I know that is true
Thanks
I agree with this.
Same way, you should never make a narc woman pregnent with your baby.
Otherwise, it will be life long disaster
Very helpful vedios in healing journey of Narcissistic Abuse survivors.....
I was very anxious as a child and as a teenager that sadly developed in extreme paranoia. But my 2 younger brothers and my younger sister don't have these anxiety issues so severe like me
took the morning after pill twice with narc ex to make absolutely certain would not get pregnant, my mother was married to a narcissist and moved in for solace with her narcissistic moth thank god for her empathetic father
He dumped her when she was pregnant.. met the child at six months old.. saw the child at one y/o.. and saw the child again at 2 y/o..
After that, he hoovered her just for happy weekends.. he mistreated the child (narc stare, narc smile, narc gifts, narc neglect..) the child knew there was something wrong.. until being a teen and the child got cancer.. leukemia..
After that.. the struggle continues.. he has to pay for everything... an old narc.. in the path of destruction..
I've always been my narcissist mother scapegoat and mental, emotional and physical punching bag. I'm 46 and she's never said I love you too me or I'm proud of you but she has told me she wishes I died at birth
I was born with a broken collar bone? Im 60 now & also convinced my Famdamnly members for sure started their harm of me on that Friday the 13th day for their group Harm'money.
This makes me feel sad.
My life……😢😢😢😢😢my brothers have tons of rage . We all have thyroid problems. I have had anxiety all my life…..my mother was very sick with me and needed compressions on her back so I had massive extremely loud sounds , and my mom was rh NEGETIVE and my father was rh positive….she needed the Rhogam vaccine to have kids….or her body would destroy us…..my mom never cared for herself and I have been sick all my life. My brothers and I ARENT close. My fathers family was chronically at war with his family. Due to my mom needing compressions on her back the patient in the other room was banging on the wall thinking it was my mom but it was the dr doing compressions on my moms back to release fluid out of her lungs….imagine what that sounded to me IN THE WOMB. MY FAITH IS THE ONLY THING SUSTAINING ME. 40 years later my mom still doesn’t care for herself 40 years I have had to see Drs …..grown up in the medical field…..have had thyroid problems all my life…..thyroid runs on my fathers family and my mom had a thyroid problems….she had 2 miscarriages and 1 ectopic pregnancy.
My Mother told me that she hated me before I was born. During the delivery the tracktion stoot still. I refused to com. Was more dead then alive when I finaly came out. The Nurse has given me cold and warm bath untill I started to breathing and crying. Then she wanted to give me to my Mother, who refused to take me.
The Nurse most have looked rader strange. This is the story during an argument that I hat with her when I was 13 years. Never cold understand why she didn,t love me. Sinds that Day the Tables turned. I started to make her life like hell. My Father loved me thanks for that.
Also hat nigthmare,s about pre-borne sounds, colours and slow spinning. Wake up crying and very afraid, running to my parents bethroom. It was always my Father who took care of me, calm me down, fell asleep in his arms. In the morning I found myself back in my own bed.
With 39 I saw on the TV a documentaire about what children go,s True duriing the delivery. I saw my Nigthmare. Finally could make the connection.
I suffered narcissistic abuse and trauma which lasted into pregnancy...the result is unfortunately that my kid got diagnosed with dual morbidity of ADHD+Autism.
😢
Same here, partialy developed kidney on the left side (mother side)
I guess that explains my household, yea all these, but both my parents, still the same but more likely all children
Can you please make a video about N parents that are sick? They want me to care a lot and call on me to drop/pickup from hospital and appointments. I feel trapped. How do I stop feeling guilty?
🙏🙏🙏
Sir please help me....I was gone through all these cruelty during my pregnancy... and my daughter is suffering from chronic exfoliative chellitis ... how can we over come ... please help
True
My moms mom was a raging borderline. I never felt safe since i can remember...
No wonder I was 3 weeks late. I didn’t want to be born to her.
My narcissistic mother hated me because I was a girl she wanted a boy. This people disgust me. Am no contact with her 5 years
My mother is although a narcissistic... But for as she said she wanted to have me... Because everyone who knew her tells her she should not have a child beinng a mother is not for her... So she wanted to show them what a great mother she would be.... She although told me thice that I am not her true child.. Because she twisted me with her real child at the hospital when I was born.. She saw her child and think it is not a beautiful one... I was more acceptable to her.. So she waited for the right moment and swap me for her biological child... I don't know what to think about that. She always said it was a joke but she lies all the time and I think she would be able to do some thing like that... Don't have contact to her sins years now.
Hello all and dear Host. My mom was a drunk which is the reason why born an underweight premmie. Also did not breast fed she claimed that did not want her breasts bitten. Haha ! In addition to this, narc moms can be literally violent to their infants up to toddler age. Why ? As our dear Host pointed out, their state of pregnancy and giving birth. On that note, the birthing pains may cause the narc to hurt the child whether an infant or toddler. To me, new rules should be applied and put into effect for protection and preventive care of the child...no matter their age. A new mother can not gauge or know the pain she is going to endure. So, it would be in her baby's best interest and hers for both to be closely monitored on a weekly or more basis. Excuse me for the rant.
Agreeee! My momster yelled and cursed so much the whole delivery that the medical staff kept telling her she was scaring the other mothers.
@@StephieGsrEvolutionDarn shame. Do these mother's know in doing such behavior they are depriving the child of needed nutrients ? Also, that may be the reason why their children do not bond to them. Dear Sis Stephie...excuse me, I get very indignant when children or should I say anyone is abused. My questions are not for you to answer.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Wow ! At least she let it out...not trying to excuse her behavior. On the other hand, there are those who are quiet and should be watched.
@@olharleypurrs haa I understand! Mine only got worse. I think her problem was being parentified so much with responsibility to take care of her brothers and sisters from a very young age. Even having to sell papers and balloons so they could eat. By the time she had me at 19, her maternal energy was spent.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Wow ! Speaking of responsibility, my mom claimed she loved and wanted me. If memory serves, love is an action word which is followed with other words. Such as being ; affectionate, considerate, patience, kind, self-control...things of that nature not the opposite.
What if wife is pregnant n is a narcissist?
My son works in a hospital testing blood and after the shots he noticed evidence of spontaneous abortions in the blood of women. He has other friends that got pregnant and have healthy babies. So if the body rejects the narcissist in womb(not natural..free radical)… does this mean the narcissist will stop being born after the shots? A new humanity if you will? ❤
No…just, no. This is the sort of bad thinking and pseudo science that starts conspiracy theories.
Unfortunately i face all problems u explained in all ur videos. Now i want to divorce but i need money to raise my kid. I can work and earn money but i cannot give good life to kid. So in india how to get monthly expense for a child from a narcissistic husband
Premature babies, could their be cases where the baby trying to escape the cluster b mother?
what about when the narciissit is the one pregnant???
I want baby but think God doesn't plan this for me
Make videos in Hindi please
All responsibility my mother is old I and mother only and husband not supportive I have ankle surgery my body doesn't support delivery
Stooooop
i have tipe one diabetic because of it
If everything goes well this should do the job. But listen, there's one factor that's usually overlooked that can considerably speed up the process, unfortunately I do not have it at hand, but it can be go’ogled Dobbie Nerkstrol's Infertility Cure, I think.
Correct
GOD had given me 2 kids later on in my marriage
For a reason?
Yes....narcissist husband waited forvyhem to gtow to show his true colours
Now we r suffering n nobody wants to believe us
This is so wrong putting the emphasis on the mother....most of us don't realise the abuse...we would never knowingly our children through it.
Put the emphasis on the abuser
He talked about it going either way.
He also said at the end that the mother is not to be blamed.
but the abuser Was my narc. mother and she still is. she doesn’t realize she abused/abuses me, as she never healed her own trauma. i, however have taken a different and am healing myself. it’s taken many, many years.
What about children of police or firefighters? Babies born during war time? Our lives are full of stress ... I think we are going a little overboard now 😅😅😅
While it may seem so, I invite you to do your own research on this subject, read scientific articles and understand in utero trauma. You don’t have to believe my words
Danish is correct and isn’t going overboard. Life happens at the moment of conception, therefore, mother and child are instantly bonded whether positive or negative. Just because the child is in the womb doesn’t mean they aren’t being exposed to anything because that’s like saying the pregnancy isn’t viable until it peeks his/her face into the world. The high levels of stress and toxic environments the fetus is exposed to ABSOLUTELY correlates to abandonment, rejection, hearing constant arguing etc. Ever hear of the term “nervous baby?” It is a medical term where the baby can’t be soothed and/or self-soothe due to overstimulation and where ADHD comes in. On the flip-side, Autism also stems from rejection and abandonment and affected the child to be more slower and recognizable during their formative years which is 0-7. This is the time when the child is developing their personalities and will shape who they will become later in life. I will share one of many personal experiences…
I had a friend who our daughters were born 2 months apart (now 8). She suffered several chemical pregnancies before she became pregnant with her daughter. In laymen’s terms her body was rejecting the pregnancies and I also believe the rape she experienced as a teenager also contributed. On top of that she and her husband constantly fight, so this child is getting it from both ends per se. I never said anything, but I knew her baby was Autistic at 2 months old, however, wasn’t my place to say unless asked. I could see the difference in our babies, something was off, one being very hard to soothe. Everytime I picked her up and did the same exact thing to get my daughter to sleep my friend said…you’re the only one who can get her to do that. You see her baby recognized safety although I wasn’t her biological mother. Fast forward to age 3 and her daughter was in the beginning stages of getting tested for Autism and it was confirmed she is autistic. Sad, but true! Understand, any type of unhealed trauma stays trapped in the body and why it is very easy for a mother to pass on her emotions and/or emotional state to her unborn.
Very true, wonderful stuff!
Can you please include they/them/their when you are trying to refer to a person by gender & not exclusively his/her as there are those that suffer from narcissistic abuse for not fitting those exclusive gender identities & are already erased by many people & would be more included just adding they/them when making gendered references, I would argue all people who are not cisgendered &/or are intersex go through narcissistic abuse & are left out when you use exclusively gendered terms in referring only to cisgendered identities. Many of these traumas cause trans folk & non binary folk to suicide or extreme self harm because they are invisible, ignored, shamed, killed, bullied, etc, etc & hearing more inclusive language would be wonderful as it would reach everybody & not be referred to only his/her which isn't inclusive of others who do not fit the cisgender profile who are also going through it too & narcissists already love to erase people & break people. More inclusive language would go such a long way & I personally would appreciate it & not feel disconnected every time I hear gender exclusive language that I myself don't fit in & suffered all types of abuse for. Hope this reaches you & you have a wonderful day!