The Galaxy's Most Feared Creature Was Dying, Until a Human Soldier Stepped In! | BEST HFY Stories
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 4. 05. 2024
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I too found the repetition of the battle scenes a bit disconcerting. Try varying the descriptive wording of each battle to alleviate the repitition. Refrain from using the same phrasing too often. This is basically a good story.đ
Scrub? Scruve? Scrave? Scrov?Oy.
Sometimes all you can offer is a dignifiend end.
Bodies of the fallen. Sheeeesh.
Here's my add-on:
Years later, another ship lands on Veritas Prime. Professor Alexander Drake Jnr., accompanied by his elderly father, has come to study the fauna of the planet. He was reared on the story of how his dad saved the Tyrant & wished to see the animal if it was still thriving, his wish is granted when he sees said beast resting in a forest glade. But that is not all he gets to see, he sees he is not alone, the Tyrant is surrounded by more of his kind! He had taken a harem of females & bred young with them! The young have now reached adulthood & started breeding with mates they themselves have found, our tyrant is now a proud grandpa! When he catches sight of the father - son duo he immediately recognises them! He has never forgotten, he makes his way over to the old captain & nuzzles him in greeting, his snorting & the glint in his eyes gives the impression of a smirk. "We both did well my friend." The old captain wheezes, touching the tyrant on the snout, "This is my boy & he's got young of his own as well, his oldest kids has begun to start families too!" The Tyrant snorted in what seemed like surprise, "DAD! Did you have to tell him that?" Junior replies, "Well, it's clear he seems to understand son," his father answers, "this universe has much to reveal, much indeed." The Tyrant's family crowds around to meet the 2 humans, eager to get familliar with their patriarch's saviour & his son.
The air was thick with whatever over and over
Using the same phrase over and over you need to clean it up some but other that it's good Storie
How many times did You read the same page ? I lost count
The fearsome creature roared and then told the humans, I am hungry so where is my breakfast?
This COULD HAVE been a good story, but the robo-reader kept reading the same things over and over. Try editing these things before you post them. Got to give you a thumbs-down on this one. It's a shame, I really liked the concept.
I liked it, but the repeating stuff over and over had to stop
To the people who criticize the writing. Shut up!!!! Are you trying to demoralize young or new writers? Or are you upset because their writing is better than yours?
Bot supporting ai...
No not trying to demoralize young writers. Giving them constructive criticism. Some of the comments are a bit condescending but the basis is correct. There are three different battles but with essentially the same wording. The writer might vary the descriptions more to eliminate the repeated wording and present better interest.
This was written by AI. Not good. Something akin to the uncanny valley of amateur robot faces
Written by AI. Not good at all. The repetitive language and terrible lack of imagination. Repetitive attacks, described so superficially that I didn't care about the outcome. Please do better.