Narcissism | What You MUST Know
Vložit
- čas přidán 17. 04. 2024
- Learn more about narcissism here: my.medcircle.com/3DEL7MG
This is a true Masterclass on Narcissism! In this video, Dr. Ramani discusses everything you need to know on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, also known as, NPD. She covers the causes of narcissism (nature vs nurture), how to deal with a narcissist, and types of narcissists (malignant type and more).
Topics:
00:00 Why narcissism is the secondhand smoke of mental health
11:13 PART 2: Narcissistic personality disorder VS narcissism
32:50 PART 3: Are narcissists born or made?
48:57 PART 4: The 7 signs of narcissism
59:31 PART 5: How to cope with narcissistic abuse
01:15:50 PART 6: Can narcissism be treated?
#narcissism #narcissist #relationships #narcissists #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #medcircle #mentalhealthmatters
*Get access to dozens of live workshops with MedCircle psychologists-use the code SAVE50 for half off through the month of May! **bit.ly/37QhP1B*
The end here is missing 1:24:30
Thank you so much Dr. Aloha. Here is a permanent Solution to Eliminate Herpes 1 & 2, lupus, Acne, shingles and HPV and It's 100% money back guarantee. czcams.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 🇺🇸💗💚
Thank you so much Dr. Aloha. Here is a permanent Solution to Eliminate Herpes 1 & 2, lupus, Acne, shingles and HPV and It's 100% money back guarantee. czcams.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 🇺🇸💗🙏🏻
@@matej1987 ppppppppppp1¹pppppp
This sounds like Johnny Depp🥵
Always remember that each adult relationship you have in your life, exists only as a curtesy. If someone treats you like a piece of trash, even if they are a family member, throw them away knowing that eventually, they will throw you away. Regardless of a diagnosis, or a personality trait, you deserve to be treated with respect, dignity and fairness.
It was a shock when I watched a bunch of the series on narricism and realized that I had lived it for years. I saw the same thing happening with a good friend and tried to get her out of the relationship but I guess she's going to have to learn for herself or die trying. I give up. This jerk fits just about every description and behavior of a narcissist. Along with always having someone else waiting on the wings in case she actually does leave him. He's actually told her that he hasn't had a phone since before Christmas 2021, n thinks she is buying this BS. She's not. She found one phone he was using and he kept it in demo mode when she was around. Then she found his "Cat controls" on it.
The ice age is over
Ele Ficou Furioso de eu ter votado fora a Abortion 😌🤰🤱#
Most underrated comment. Even with 100 likes. I love this. Both of my parents said “you can leave anyone, anytime, for any reason…even a “bad” one.” I’ve taken that with me, and though I don’t go around using ppl like paper cups, in fact the way I was raised-context is everything-I stayed in a miserable marriage with someone with NPD years longer than I should of. Guilt is such a strong force when children are involved-now they are a giant motivator as to why I go
Yeah but some of this is the flaw of being human because we were built for bonding and socializing and it still motivates a lot of what we do, a lot of people down play it now but historically it was a death sentence to just rely on yourself
Learning about narcissism as somebody who has survived a narcissist is literally therapeutic. It's like you get those missing puzzle pieces you didn't have before .
It's helped me so much to understand it. It's helped me not be suicidal about it
Sometimes it can be a really distant old loss, because they have recurring anger of being "cheated" of something or someone they absolutely felt entitled to
It builds a good defence against it
Exactly. Im sitting here like wow…thats why she did that!
This talk is keeping me from losing my mind, right now
I wish I had watched this video 28 yrs ago. It would have saved me 25 years of misery. Thank you for creating this excellent interview.
AGREEEEEE.. We have help now.. I RECOVERED IN 5 MONTHS.. I DID INTENSE WORK!
Fantastic! At least I can tell my kids (when they are older) to avoid borderlines and narcissistic PDs. @@almohvn33
You have 25 years of experience to fully understand these details. This makes you much more effective and compassionate in helping others who haven't gone through that length of time.
21 years 4 children effcted.. slowly the healing begins
Finally the light dawns. I have been in a narcissistic relationship for 30 years / 4 children. Protecting my partner from criticism but dealing with their self-centredness on a daily basis. Being criticised and belittled. Then left in the lurch and being stonewalled for two years. Money stolen. Lies told in separation "mediations" and to children. Yet stilling love them and protect them. I guess a form of Stockholm syndrome.
My mother before she died, would say her biggest accomplishment was raising three children who ended up being kind, giving, and empathic. In spite of none of us being financially "sucessful" which she would of loved, she realized she had been sucessful in the end!
When you see narcissism in your friend’s partner, you could do what my friend did. She knew I have an interest in psychology, so she posted articles about narcissism and gaslighting on her Facebook page, knowing I would read them out of interest. After I saw the narcissism in my now ex I asked her if this is what she did and she admitted it. I am forever grateful that she did it in a way that wasn’t confrontational or accusatory and respected my intelligence
Wow she seems to be a good friend 😍
@@minajdm4343 She really is
Now THAT is a FRIEND.❤
That is a good friend
@@fareladee5970 agreed
I met my first Narcissist after losing my husband to cancer at the age of 62. I couldn’t understand how anyone could act that way and tried with all of my heart to help him but, he tried to destroy my life! Stay away from these people period!
Shoulds extremely accurate. Smh
The words of one reply resonated with me. She said and I quote, " I couldn't understand..." STOP !🙅🎯 THAT'S A PRESENT, A RED FLAG 🎭🎁, that their is a mask that hasn't slipped yet on the other person. DA TA DA !
Just like my ex and she’s currently trying to destroy me.
So true. They want you broke and helpless so you can't leave them. I am very sorry you had to go through this.
@@janetdiaz8916 Comigo e a sim povo conta comigo e com os Generais. Qualquer coisinha de um Tok Tok aus Generais pois a Constituição vai and e a Doze junto #🎯
Must be hard for narcissists to realize that anyone is better off without them in their life.
I don't think they realize it, I think they make up stories to tell others so they can be the victim
They probably don't realize it and if they did they're so full of themselves they don't care
Narcissist don’t care! They move on to the next victim!
It’s a mistake to think that because they have no empathy they feel no emotions. That would be a psychopath. Narcissists are full of negative, miserable emotions. That’s why they need ‘supply’.
It’s horrible to be the subject of narcissistic abuse but worse to be a failed narcissist. And they do fail.
Haha this makes me laugh because I know one who is proud of how helpful he is towards others and absolutely doesn't get it
i got OUT....I Didn't even realize I was being abused. I thought I was in a relationship with a person with lots of trauma and thats why all the UPS & DOWNS. The rollercoaster was never ending with a few sprinkles if good moments. My life was turned upside down but I am claiming it back and have gone ZERO CONTACT with all points of contact BLOCKED! AMEN
I was told recently to just deal w my narcissistic mother since it's not her fault. NOPE. I do not have to deal with a toxic person no matter who they are. ❤️
When my mom starts up her narcissism, I generally just leave as there is no point to the fighting. But, in no way do we have to ever put up with that abuse any longer. We did it already our whole lives!
@@alexismerrilldragonqueen6552 true with me my identity is too wrapped up in this though. I was always dealing with nay saying and then at work or relationships or anything I nay say myself and then it makes me feel more dependent on people etc. Basically vicious cycle
@@leahflower9924 I was in that vicious cycle for 30+ years and I say no more. I do what is right for me. I ask if my inner child is okay with everything I do now, and if I feel something isn't right, or something is off, I am gone. I no longer can tolerate narcissistic abuse. I have chronic health issues now because of being chronically stressed all my life (auto immune issue, heart issues) so I gotta do exactly what is right for me. My new goal is to have the least amount of stress as possible, and I deserve that at the very least. Definitely helps with the no narcissists too, because narcissists love that drama game and I just no longer play. They can go find another clueless codependent. I am a super empath now, or in psychology terms, an HSP [Highly Sensitive Person] but I am CONSTANTLY trying to ward off my codependency and agreeableness (narcissists LOVE agreeable ppl] by studying narcissism, codependency, and healing from narcissistic abuse.
Same here 🙋♀️
My Mom treated me like I was her personal maid service and more. She never saw my needs at all. And she didn't want me to have my own life either. It was very toxic.
@@steve498 That doesn't work.. The Narcissist's will just dig in, and focus ALL their energy on proving the other person is wrong, go "scorched earth" even to their own detriment. The only answer is "get away from them" - go No contact, expunge them from your life to the greatest extent possible.
If you must interact with those people due to obligation(s). Practice scripted responses to the various techniques the Narcissist uses against you and limit interactions. Remember, when you adopt a successful coping mechanism, the Narcissist will then work overtime to embarrass or create even more drama in those situations. Show no concern for their negative opinions or criticism of you - try not to even respond... That will drive them insane with jealousy... Good luck and best wishes.
No, peeps, no. "Social awkwardness" is no good indicator you're safe either. My worst nightmare embodied into a human being was an awkward guy who looked so out of place and socially unable. A covert narcissist, that's what he came out to be. A sneaky, self victimizing bastard who tried to eat me from the inside out weaponizing my compassion. Nah nah nah.
Same thing happened to me.
Same here!
The ex-no contact/blocked since 26JUN21..& 99.8% of our mutual "so- friends" He acted like he needed my help all the time..how to look/dress..how to act in certain situations..how to control his temper..in the beginning..how to speak to his Mom! ...etc! I became his enabler & co-dependant...not meaning to..but I did. God woke me up & removed/lifted the veil..)
I will never become reliant on another person if I can help it!
But see! I was contributing in other ways..the ex just always convienently forgot about all the things that I did to help out.
At least I wasn't sitting down at a bar..messing around on him..like he was me..& blowing anywhere from $1200-$1400-$1600-over $2000 in the gambling machines & then coming home drunk & cussing me out for blowing all the money!!!
Same
This is true! I married a guy who was different from all the other guys I’d dated prior to him. He was sweet, funny, and treated me tremendously nicely. He was not my type as far as looks goes but I married him for his personality. Turns out, that too was a no, no.
I know now that I need to heal. I am in no shape to choose a spouse, and that’s okay. It’s okay to know both our strengths and weaknesses. From here, I just want to serve the Lord and help my children to do the same.
My ex was kind of similar; he portrayed himself as having terrible, abusive ex girlfriends, but I dropped him after finding he was secretly, frequently active on a "Find a Rich Older Woman" site, plus he'd ignore all my own social media posts but I found evidence that while I was in the shower or out of the room he was constantly clicking on huge breasted bimbos, like all day. It really hurt. I immediately ended it.
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
Hi, are you on Instagram? I want to inbox you to ask some questions. I hope you read this...
😍A healthy awaken mom with such a big brave heart is the most pressious gift to a child! 🎉And your both laughter and happiness will attract more freedom and abbundance!!!☘🌺
I became a narcissist, being with one for 7 years, I conformed and hated myself for it because inherently I knew it was wrong, she gave me these narcistic traits and when she wanted to move on, the black belt bowled over the blue belt easily and left me a completely empty shell in a mental institution, it took me 7-8 yrs to recover enough to truly move on. We come out at the other side eventually and are far better at choosing friends, as you say, I now live again in the world of hugs, kindness and simple happiness, take care
This is a good description of how they behave.
Being in narcissistic relationship feels so lonely. Pretending that everything is great is exhausting. When no one knows or don't understand feels almost suicidal.
"Never get in the mud with a narcissist "
Totally agree!!
Amen!
@Jimmy
Ewwwwww....lol
Totally disgusting 🤣🤣
👍👍💯
Truth. You will find out sooner or later.👍👍👍
I was aware of narcissism for a long time but literally nobody has ever explained it so perfectly and made me feel so validated in my experiences as Dr Ramani. She's a wonder. Thank you for this series!
We're so glad you found it helpful!!
Yes. If you have been narcissistically abused....you tolerate managers who are narcissists. Ugh. I have seen it in health care settings more than once.
Ditto
@@OrryaKimevans by Dr
@@sueshe8986 \
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
If you need to call a doctor an attorney or a policeman it's time to exit a relationship safely. 🤐 We learn from experiences. Failure, losses and hardship. That creates resiliency.
All humans are self centric in ways.
Our oldest son got involved with a narcissist. We saw signs, some family members did not like her immediately. As a mother, tried giving her a chance, but she lied on me to my son. It has been three years years since I've hugged him. He married her and she has convinced him to leave the church, his children, siblings and parents. Our hearts are broken, he was not raised in this manner. We are a close knit family and have gone no contact. Just do not understand how he could have been loved bombed by this evil person. Prayers everyday to God to bring him home. 🙏
I needed to read this today. Thank you for your kind words of wisdom and support ❤
Lovebombing and future faking is manipulation. That's pathology. Gaslighting is abuse. Healthy love does not correlate to abuse.
Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality and reciprocity.
Many people choose someone based on the external. Narcissistic ideals.
Adults choose their family and relationships.
Relationships are a choice.
Statistically most relationships fail- James Sexton
@@nancymelloh4222 I'm sorry about your son. It sounds like she has the power control and dominance in the marriage. There may be a point where he has realizations or the marriage will go south. I'm sending you hope 👃
27 years of it, now recovering at 50. He committed suicide 2 years ago after I asked for a divorce. I finally stood my ground, noticed the pattern etc. This information confirms my situation. I tried to help him but lost myself. Thank you 🙏🏼
damn you killed him
@@Positivity337do we have a little covert here? Just remember how many people they hurt for years so maybe they deserve retribution.
@@Positivity337is definitely a covert
@@Positivity337 somebody who threatens to kill themselves or does that as a form of controlling others is abusive… that’s the whole point of this video.
@@Positivity337 Only a narcissist would make a comment like that... lol
I have said my whole adult life, the MOST important thing to do as a parent is to teach your kids to be empathetic and care about other people!
Yes and I think to add to that it’s also good to teach how to read other people when you are empathic so you don’t get taken advantage of used and so forth.
Would be helpful if you're parent cared about you too😂
@@tulip811 I mean, of course? That’s kind of the point, narcissistic parents CANT really teach their children to care about others because they have no idea how to do it themselves…
Amen
Including animals.
7 key characteristics of a narcissist:
1) Lack of empathy
2) Entitlement
3) Grandiosity
4) Superficiality
5) Constant seeking of praise
6) Tendency to rage
7) Arrogance
Additiional:
8) Jealousy/Envy
9) Sadistic - derives pleasure from other people’s pain
10) Engages in gaslighting
11) Projection of their faults onto other
12) Lying
13) Cheating
14) Controlling/Manipulative
MY ex husband! Ex's are ex's for a reason! ALSO my father was a covert and my mother was a overt narc...No wonder 🤔
Man my ex checks every box she is pure evil I felt it one time when I looked at her sitting there with this scowl on her face just disturbing to witness wtf!! No empathy she faked crying a couple times I mean really no lengths they won't go to just to manipulate and get u to do there bidding!! I saw her bs a long time ago problem is I kept allowing it so I feel like an idiot knowing but hoping she would change!! Kept bouncing in n out of my life like she's entitled to my apt and would come back like nothing happened with absolutely no accountability!! Also she one time faked like she wanted to have a kid with me, (she has one already) by saying she isn't on the mirana (form of birth control)no more but I knew she was full of shit but I played along lol just sick people man fr she even held me in when I was bout to well ya know that is fd up!! Also the gas lighting was getting so ridiculous n we would argue over everything cuz she liked it or something idk but toxic as hell!! She'd say all u wanna do is argue bout shit I said no I don't u just can't handle being told u did something wrong n that I don't like it called communication but they will just spin the shit out of everything n blame u also they love to switch the subject or act like they forgot all sorts of games!! Never thought I would be here 10byrs later worn down cuz of her n the drugs I did yo help cope!! She is nothing but pure evil sent by the devil to kill u or help destroy ur happiness!!
and inability to take responsibility and accountability for most anything.
@@bmac85north Go "NO CONTACT" as much as you can, without compromising your role as a parent. I KNOW it's hard, but you CAN do it! I did it with four children and I made it! You have to STOP sleeping with them! THAT really messes you up! If they won't leave, then you leave! Separation IS necessary unless you want to continue living like this! Just saying... Been there done THAT for waaay too long! I'm free now! Living near the Beach like I ALWAYS wanted, WITHOUT the cycle of drama and misery... It IS possible one day at a time! I Pray for a peaceful new beginning for you and your child, Amen! Be Aware! Be Safe! Be Blessed! 💯🙏👆💖🔥💪🌴🌈🌅🕊️
@@darlenenorton793 thanks man I too may be going to a beach soon!! My cuz called me out of nowhere yesterday n said to go out to this sober living house in San Monica, CA but I'm not ready to go just yet I got issues golore going on my head is about to explode I'm homeless atm too so it would be gre t to get out of Michigan as well it's shitty out right now!!! I'm sitting here living in my car but this bitch got her new supply over at her apt she just got!! Thought I would be the first one in there to check it out normal shit right wrong only reason I knew she had a place finally was cuz I texted her wyd? N she replied celebrating smfh so I said wow really bitch u not gonna invite me of all people then have another man in there before me and around the kid that's crossing the fuckin line I'm through wit the bs for good! I've said this many times but this is fr no matter what I can never let her back in my life n it's hurts to have to do that but it will only hurt a hell of alot more if I don't!! Done letting her help ruin my life and I gotta get as far away from her as I can and Cali would be pretty damn far!! 😎✊
I often saw his child side, i adored that side, i felt so sad and empathic for that side. I always wanted to give that side all the love it deserved.
Yea I know a man with npd. I do see that sad little child and want to make him feel enough. But he also scares me because of his bad behaviour
I'm sorry loves, choose yourself. I'm currently at 4 years of no contact and developed so much trauma I actually got diagnosed with bpd (never met these criteria before in my life). Be very careful, and get out if you can, fight for yourself. I don't wish the suffer I go through on a day to day basis on anyone. I also got (C)PTSD, nightmares, chronic depression, anxiety. I cannot date. @@snoozyq9576
Usually, by the time you learn the person is a "covert narcissist", you have already 'dealt' with them in one way or another. You cannot and will not recognize the person as a 'covert narcissist' just by looking at them or having casual interactions with them. You have to observe, listen, and understand what you SAW,what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that. Now don't that sound easy. The better question is how do you STOP 'dealing with' a covert narcissist once you understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that? The 'best way' to 'deal with a covert narcissist' is to STOP listening, STOP observing, STOP wondering WHY, and STOP having ANY interaction with them. If you MUST have interactions with them, limit the interactions as much as possible. No "hi, how are you doing", no "hi, I wish I had time to talk to you", no "hi, it's nice to see you", just "hi, hope you're doing well, I've got to run" or just "hi" and keep walking. If at all possible avoid ANY setting or situation where the narcissist or a 'flying monkey' can observe you or listen to you. 'Flying monkeys' are the narcissist's 'possessions'. Dealing with or interacting with anything or anybody the narcissist 'owns' is considered the same as 'dealing with' or interacting with the narcissist. The more you 'deal with' a covert narcissist, the more you will have to 'deal with'. Do not 'run' from a covert narcissist unless you can 'run' totally away from them. When you 'run' from a narcissist, it makes them feel powerful and important. They like that and will make a sport out of watching you 'run'. Once you 'learn' the person is a 'covert narcissist', you have to 'learn' to either 'covertly' avoid the hell out of them or 'overtly' have NO CONTACT with them and refuse to 'deal with' them. This all SOUNDS so simple and easy, but ask anybody who has ever "dealt with" one and they'll tell you it's one of hardest things they've ever 'dealt with'. Additionally, Metaspyhub@gmail. com is a company that is ideal if you need to be able to confront a cheating spouse because they have some of the most advanced features in the industry.
I’m 57 an was never aware of Narcissism until a year ago. Couldn’t figure out what happened to my newly wedded husband. He turned into a demon. It was a friend who said he sounds like a narcissist, it was a light bulb 💡 moment for me. Though he was never diagnosed he meets all the criteria. So glad I kicked him out. It’s been peaceful ever since.
Dad mom divorced mom health parent Dad is narcissistic felt dying Lives somwhere else. Feel think more clearly not drained
I was 51 and two people told me he sounded like one when I described things I was dealing with which I was baffled by. Unfortunately, if he is one, he's covert but I felt back then that he didn't match up to any of the traits I was reading so I dismissed it. Well, that was bc whenever I searched I was seeing things that described the grandiose type and he is nothing like that. Took awhile before I learned about different types. Even 3.5 years later I'm really confused...but whatever the label is, he's toxic and I have to accept that.
@@trishk5686 Acceptance is the tool!
I'm 53 and just heard about narcissism until 3 days ago. I have been binge watching her videos.
I always just thought the person was just toxic and mean. My whole life makes so much sense now. I broke the generational sin of this because I know it probably ran in the family and nobody did anything or thought, "This is just not right." Well it was not right to me and I didnt want my kids to have a relationship with me out of fear or obligation. I wanted a healthy relationship with my kids.
Lots of narcissistic people never look for any help. No help of course. No diagnosis
I have a sales job and I completely agree that you have to be a narcissist to be good at sales. My sales are always on the low side because I'm more concerned with looking out for the customer's long term well-being than manipulating them into buying something they don't need just to boost my numbers.
But to be honest I've found the opposite to be true for me. When I am more concerned about the customer's needs than making a sale, I make a better day interms of high sale numbers.
...textbook covert.
Look deeper, what your clients tell you isnt always the absolute. Guide them into making a wise decision but if they want to make a mistake that is a part of their growth. Other than financial suicide on the customers part you should make the sale. They would not be talking to you. I am 62 had the same thoughts when I was in my 30's
Dude, I got written up multiple times because I didn't trick customers into signing up for a membership.
@@aquamarinemystique9641 You are right, I dont know what I am talking about... good luck with things
My first Narcissist was my ex-Husband at age 35 and it was devastating. I’m so thankful that I had a good support system and that my Mother saw what I didn’t see because I was questioning reality. These Narcs/demons steal, kill, and destroy…They’re not going to change because it’s always someone else’s fault. While talking with my Chaplain, pastor, therapist, and Military Family Life Counselor, I started watching Dr. Ramani’s videos, learning about NPD, and seeking a peaceful resolution. The peaceful resolution was physically separating, setting boundaries, grey rocking, limiting contact, and finally going no contact. Guard your peace beautiful ones at all times.
I love this comment section. Thank you all who are sharing. It can be so hard to find resources and communities of support in times of crisis while being a victim of a narcissistic relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic or parental. Me, I am stuck financially with a controlling narcissist who I already successfully left once but unfortunately my kindness and love for them let me give them a second chance after the seemingly “cured it”. And now I’m stuck. If you are currently about to leave or have left a narcissist….STAY GONE FROM THEM. they go even harder the second time around. Because now you have given up all the power, you went back. They see your kindness as weakness. Do not fall into the trap because the second time around they will be smart enough to pin you into a hole that is hard to get out of. If you are like me and have fallen into that hole, you can get out. But please take this doctor’s advice…leave quiet. Don’t let the narcissist get the idea that you’re preparing to save yourself from them. They will do everything they can to pin you down even harder. Play the game until it is safe for you to leave. But always ALWAYS stay ten toes down and don’t let the “good days” or “good memories” trick you.
I overcame my narcissist traits and turned it around. I just didn't practice hurting people, being selfish. I changed myself to be better
Wow is that even possible how long did it take you and at what age you started. Your answers will help a lot.
@@poojas1 I doubt if you’ll get an answer
@@juanvaldez5422 cuz its not possible ?
@@poojas1 yeah , it’s bs. See , this ‘community’ of ‘empaths’ is nothing more than a bunch of borderlines and narcs . These cluster Bs come online and play the victim. Just like they do in real life
@@jondhoe7023 i agree that being raised by a narc causes narc traits. Have seen firsthand.
Just so I can help someone who is unwilling to accept anything wrong despite glaring behaviour - could you pls help with how you started to accept that you were a narc, or how it effected others or needed therapy etc
My step-mom was cruel from day one. Narcissist. My Dad was her enabler. My step-brother was the golden child. I was the scapegoat, & my sisters were the flying monkeys. I'm grateful to know this now, so that I can heal and move on. I have some personality quirks, but I'm really working on them.
Your were Dorothy and now you now you see the Great Grandiose Wizard of OZ and how little and insecure he is..! It's great to finally see this and begin your healing and transformation. I feel for people that don't do the work and refuse to see this and stay in that mentality and cont generational patterns.. .
same here but parents opposite. my dad was the main narcissist. but my mom enabled him and also joined him. she followed suit.
be your best friend one day cause they felt bad for the narcissistic outburst. or thats how it seemed. then days later back to it lol.
they also used manipulation, emotional blackmail and gas lighting like no tomorrow.
i for one just can not anymore 😂 they cause too many problems to be worth being around. they are like a timebomb in my life constantly ticking. and i was the scapegoat so not a damn thing i say or believe matters to them 😂
i could be an astronaut, president of the world, the richest person on earth and i think they would still place me beneath them to belittle in some way shape or form lol.
as jordan peterson said. stop telling yourself things that make you weak. only tell yourself things that make you strong.
i have no idea to what % my parents are right or wrong about me. maybe i an a pos in some ways lol. but who cares. i choose what i do and who i am and how i am.
and as if they are in a position to judge 😂
very empowering to realize ultimately what they think does not matter. only what i think and choose to do.
they can think im a giraffe. doesn't make it so 😂 and even if i was thats my choice to identify as a giraffe 🤣
Very cool
I'm going through it as we speak with my mom. I went no contact with her a few years ago. And finally felt safe to drop a comment about her being abusive towards me as a child on social media. My siblings, the flying monkeys and the golden child, called me and texted me that I'm the one with a problem, that I'm awful for telling on my mom, that I'm ungrateful... My brother told me of everything I did wrong growing up as I was trying to cope, alcoholism and many mistakes... As if they are worse than what she did to me and my brother.
I've finally tried to go to a doctor and I have Cptsd and at 33 still trying to cope with the abuse from having a narcissist as a mother. I hope and wish you all the good things in life. It'll come, but it takes a lot of work.
@@flisan4385 ive just gone through that , (im 58) the only thing to do is have zero contact , i tried for years to let family realise i was a ok person , im not in debt , im not a drinker (like my stepbrother) i have produced 6 kids with 3 differnet people like my sister , then 6 months ago i snapped and relaised i was just making it worse , i was near death with cancer last year and they couldnt show any real emotion they would just talk about anything else (like the fact the bulb went in my mums kithen, ? or that i hadnt cut my grass and what would the neigbours think? ) so i wrote to them and told them to stay away , ive had enough of their crap. its so relaxing not dealing with it , i came off social media as well and changed my phone number
Min 41 - The narcissist says "I'm sorry you feel that way" as a response to the victim letting them know how they feel. I heard this for 4 years from my ex-GF! For 3 of those years, I accepted it as an apology. The word sorry is in the sentence. Slowly, it dawned on me that she wasn't actually saying she was taking responsibility for her behavior, truly apologizing, feeling empathetic, or going to take steps to make things right. Another phrase she used was "It sounds like a YOU problem." It just left me feeling awful that I brought it up and somehow to blame for any chaos that ensued. Ugh! When this came up, I honestly, screamed in recognition.
Individuals with NPD can’t keep it out of their speech and how they talk to (at!) others. If someone speaks like a sales person or sounds like they’re lecturing whenever they’re speaking to you, run, run, run as fast as you can.
“Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears.” - Sheree Griffin
And suicidal thoughts
@@indiahaze2197 God bless you 😔🍀🙏
Sincerely hope you're not suffering with these😔🍀🙏
It's funny because when she gave examples of covert narcissism I always thought that was just passive aggressive
@@leahflower9924 i'm sure you're👍 right&covert nrcissists will h@ve the tr@its & ch@r@cteristics of p@ssive @ggressiveness within their personlities God bless you 👍🍀🙏
@@evelina787
You mean that guy that may judge you, but whom you are not allowed to judge?
The guy that is allknowing, allseing and allways right but calls you a sinner?
That guy that threathens you with endless punishment if you dont obeye but calls it "Love".
Your sad christian image of a god is the most severe narcissist ever and the spread of christianity and worshipping this asshole is the exact reason why there are so many N in this world.
Tuck your "good bless" and tuck your god, mkay?
If it wasn’t for Ramani Durvasula’s wisdom I’d have married to the covert narc I was dating till 3 months ago. Thank you Ramani Durvasula
Am glad you excaped
Congratulations on getting out.
Good for you!!! Really and truly - I married two in a row. First an actual psychopath, then my knight in shining armour who saved me??? Covert man-child. Two decades I cannot retrieve. I’m truly so happy for you! What a blessing
I broke up 2 weeks ago. Still living together so that's not easy but I'm so glad to have my future back and a chance to find a kind man. It's not easy to get a new flat right now but I'm looking forward to the day I get out for good.
@@mosquito8038 thank you for sharing. It’s amazing to me that in a couple, the personalities are actually polar opposites (usually under cover). Proof in that all you ask for in your future partner is a “kind man”. I see the humility in that and have so much respect for this humble request. Also, I can’t believe this has taken me so long (years and years) to realize/identify narcissism and gaslighting behavior and the impact. I simply thought that these people were very smart and had intelligent arguments and ways of thinking about things that I questioned the value of my own ways and understanding. I feel so much better and empowered with this new found knowledge to identify and fight the battles worth fighting. Good luck and God bless you in your journey to joy in your life. It’s going to be a good one. Take care
I am INFJ and tend to be very low-key about my achievements and intelligence to the point that a lot of people treat me like I'm incompetent. While I don't think every one of these people are narcissists, there are definitely some in the mix. What has been equally stressful about that is encountering enablers who don't understand NPD and cannot tell when someone is being incredibly manipulative and insincere.
Me too....
I recently accidentally enabled a narcissistic man because I didnt know the signs. But Ive cut him off now
I have been a mental health therapist for over 30 years. I have learned so much from you! Thank you so much.
Have you ever realized narcissism is less about empathy and more about boundary setting? They have blurry boundaries so they project those same blurry boundaries on you. When you keep them out of the deepest circles of empathy and set them at least 20 circles out, suddenly narcissists are a bit easier to handle.
I am so empathetic I can feel emotions across the room. When someone has strong emotions I feel them like waves washing over me from the outside. That empathy makes me a target. Without boundaries, I was a Lamb for Slaughter.
Empathy is your focus in many lectures, but when raising children in a narcissistic society my focus is discernment, not empathy.
I conceptualize the dark triad as stages of death of the human soul: the conscience dying while the outside is made more ornate. Also known as a white washed tomb. There is no end to the pain these people will inflict and the games they will play, because they suffered aggregious wounds and that part of them died while their body lived, or they were raised by someone who was dead inside.
Something inside them knows a part of them is missing, but they cannot produce it themselves. They get it by feeding on others. Like vampires, their morality becomes self consumed with their own needs, desires, and impulses. Their neuroticism drives the ship. They leave broken souls in their wake as they keep people around like living blood bags to feed upon. They are no longer connected to others with healthy bonds, but trauma bonds, enmeshment, and codependancy.
When you seek independence, personal strength, and set boundaries, you become less able to be manipulated. Breaking free is incredibly damaging, but it can be done. It is like escaping a cult.
I've noticed our society is too obsessed with political correctness, hyper sensitivity, and reputation. These are the most preyed upon aspects by the narcissist to break the victim down and keep them trapped. Children sniff right through the lies, but adults scold them and tell them to defy their instincts and be kind to monsters.
I decided to try something different. I do not break the will of my children. I teach them to understand their instincts and decide what is real and what is imagination. To See people by their results and decide how far to let them in based on those results. Not individual incidents, but multiple data points used to construct a better view of the person. To be cautious when their instincts say to be wary and save their compassion for situations where it will be recieved and will do the most good.
When you sew goodness into a good person, you get goodness back. I teach them to be harmless as doves but wise as snakes. Make their results good, honorable, faithful, loving, kind, honest, and compassionate, while making sure the people closest to them are doing the same.
Repeated exposure to lawlessness (breaking the social contract) makes the heart grow cold. They need to guard their heart above all things, because everything in life comes from it.
I am less concerned about empathy, and more concerned about their wholesomeness, their light shining all the way to the end. That means their relationships need to add oil to their lamps not drain it out.
I teach my children to fortify the doors to their heart. Don't build walls, but make sure those they allow to enter are worthy. Not perfect, but genuine and true.
Being an adult means you can make and break bonds. My goal is that my children feel empowered to both love and disappoint. To both accept and deny access. That they can practice discernment without allowing the peer pressure of this world to drag them into abusive situations.
That they are sheep amoung wolves, so they would be harmless as doves and wise as serpants.
Thanks Dr. Romani. I got all this by listening and digesting your words over the past few years as I healed and turned my wounds into something useful.
TJBrown....What a wonderfull speach.🎩off!
Thank you 🌹🙏🏽
Yes and Amen 🙏 🙌!!
❤❤❤
Same ❤
I will pretend you are my mom for a moment, your children are very blessed!
I have said many times, the thing that I am most proud of with my kids is that they display empathy!!❤️
I consider myself as an extremely empathetic person, however, a lot of the other things point me out as a narcissist. So...
My sons the same
Hell yes. You’ve done your job in showing them love and they understand without words.
@@youvegotmail9385 we all have narcissistic tendencies because we are human and we have wants and needs. Also you might’ve just picked up the extreme traits due to being exposed or subjected to their treatment. Also just because you know you’re empathetic doesn’t mean you’re not just a narcissist in disguise. If you have empathy then you have enough sense to change the bad things.
If you have an ability to self reflect and make changes you are not a narcissist. Narcissistic ppl will make you feel you yourself are the narc
It's amazing how well she understands and explain these concepts
Dr. Ramani is is simple a genius...
Solitude in the cabin is my choice too! Exactly what I am doing now at 77.
I agree that empathy is an important thing to have, but at the same time, you have to be aware that people will try to take advantage of a kind and gentle natured person.
But that’s the problem of the person that takes advantage. We can only control ourselves.
Don’t misunderstand my kindness for weakness. I’ve had to draw lines while maintaining my good nature.
@@eamcbmsc I ❤️ U
no. you must become fiercely righteous against these Satan's.
That's what I thought
I’m 64 years old and is severely disabled and bedridden. I suffer from chronic pain daily from a disease that attacked my body almost 7 years ago. My main caregiver is my narcissistic husband. I’m trapped because I’m unable to leave. Every night I go to sleep I’m hoping to wake up on the other side in heaven. I have strong faith in the Lord but it hasn’t stopped my narcissistic husband from stressing my life in a slow and painful death. For years in my marriage, I never understood what I was actually living with until I began to hear information like this about narcissist. It hit me like a ton of bricks that all of these stressful years I’ve been living under a narcissist, who have blamed everything in his life on being married to me, even though he’s the one who have train wrecked our marriage, emotionally and now showing up physically in my body. I wish so bad that I could have a second chance. I would run so fast and not look back and I believe I would be on my feet today, but as it stands, I’m bedridden, I am paralyzed from the waist down, unable to do very little for myself. Nobody’s in this house, but me and him. so the way he talks to me sometimes that causes stress on my body nobody sees. They only see my physical condition getting worse though my physical appearance looks great. We have help that comes in three times a week keeping up my physical appearance. Even my doctor says that all my numbers look good but my numbers showing my stress markers (neurons) are very high. To anyone that is making excuses to stay with a narcissistic person, STOP. It’s gonna eventually land you in a grave if you don’t break free.
So sad this is happening to you. I understand your feeling about running away from this circumstance it reminds me of myself. I wish I could take off walking on a peaceful path for as long as it takes to heal my mind and my heart,…weeks, months, without looking back.
This is heartbreaking....this makes me incredibly sad..I'm 62 but got out. Been where you are..I'm praying so hard for you. There are help lines and housing for senior abuse victims...try to get out and be happy if you can. I'm hugging you.♡
Hon, have you considered calling adult protective services?
My wife cheated me and when to support group I uncovered what she is?
@@bbjjbb61 there’s no physical attacks and protective services will only throw me in a nursing home which would be worse. I just lost an aunt who as soon as she was placed in a nursing home, died.
I can't thank you enough for providing free mental health treatment. You have helped me tremendously! Among a hundred other despicable narc behaviors my narc mother is currently threatening to kill herself if I go home to a different state. Everything you've said in a ton of videos I've watched multiple times is that I should go. I'm having anxiety attacks and I can't catch my breath but I'm still planning to go. Thank you again for your invaluable help.
After watching this I am so in shock, majority of my family members have this personality disorder, that is why I feel so drained, feel like an outcast etc, Wow
me too xx
Same here! But I’m not drained by them because I know is not me that has the issue but them. I’m what you can consider “immune” to this people.
@@pricilacortezoeur2654
You put a laugh in my soul and a smile to my face after considering how to move Forward. I've decided to do like you Pricila, I'm going to get Immune against them. Best idea I've heard all year.
My mother, sister brother.....all completely selfish, lying manipulative and "innocent" of it all. Everyone else has a problem but them. Very scary and devastating. I saw my mother turn into a monster, literally, possessed. I'm going to have to cut them all off for good and become immune! Great comment.
You're not an outcast. You're the strong one for dealing for this for so long ❤
I feel soooo much better because I literally focused so much on empathy with my daughter because my husband is so narcissistic and literally lacks empathy. I feel like I did something right now!!!
and u did I applaud you for being an amazing parent 🎉🎉❤
If you are empathetic they will learn it from you. Sounds like they will pick it up from you no problem ❤
Mental health issues have become increasingly prevalent in recent years, particularly among younger generations. It is important that we have experts like Dr. Ramani who can provide guidance and support to those who are struggling with mental health problems.
Since we might as well give up on meaningful weapon control, I think we owe it to the children that attend our schools, whatever amount of mental health care it takes for all age groups, to bring this horrible and embarrassing obsession to an end.
A large part of it better diagnosis. Like a REALLY large part. However, that's more an indictment of our previous stance on mental health and our attitudes towards kids. I'm not saying that to dismiss the very real uptick in issues being seen. That's another thing to do, I think with worsening socioeconomic prospects and, perversely, a cultural insistence that "you can do anything you want." With social media and reality TV fame that "seems" to be more true than ever, despite the fact that social mobility is down and wages have been stagnant for decades and life expectancy is actually falling in some places. Kids see all this and naturally get really fucking anxious as they try to reconcile the world they see (the subliminal information taken in all the time) with the world they're told about.
Actually these mental health issues have been around for a looooong time. It’s only now that it’s become normal to speak openly about the unhealthiness.
this video has honestly helped me more than anything on youtube ever has and I'm 29. my dad is an extreme narcissist and even tho he broke my mom and I never really believed her, its all clicking in now. I've been a severe addict for the last 12 years, been to rehab a few times and really struggled to be sober. i am finally understanding where so much of my low confidence and self doubt is coming from and its very very sad to me to realize I've been letting this happen for so long. this video has made me realize I need to move out. my finances are absolutely ruined, and my dad thrives off that cuz he knows im stuck here with him. but I am now moving out in the next 2 months. i will be living in a closest and it is going to be incredibly hard to get by, but this video made me see that this is never going to change with me staying with him. its going to be relapse after relapse. he makes me feel so bad about myself all the time. he is 73 and cares more about his life than my future.
I knew Dr Ramani had experienced narcissistic abuse first hand. It's almost impossible for anyone who have not experienced narcissistic abuse to understand it so well. first hand experienced combined with education makes you one of the top therapist. Thank you Dr Ramani. through you and Dr Pete walker have taught me alot, gave me a voice and are helping millions ❤️
Lived with narcissistic dad mom divorced best tjing ever happend to me think more clearly about life
1000%% I love her so much she helps me process the abuse in a healthy way, she’s so smart and empathetic 🤍🤍
Yes thank you Dr Romini
I tried to explain to my sister how the narc communicates. It’s way not normal. We were just sitting around. My narc went into the kitchen and loudly says, ‘who did this!! heavy huffing’. My sister and I looked up. This accomplishes the whole ‘I’m the star here’ statement. I looked at my sis and said…that was one. Why did he draw attention like that? It’s important to the narc that people think he’s perfect so he has to announce someone else screwed up. Everyone runs into a little mess sometimes. We just clean it up. It’s an accident, right? Not the narc….he needs to assert dominance and perfection. He’s now turned, what’s probably spilled milk, into a situation where he is the center of attention
I firmly believe in this:
Gotta live it..
To give it.
“In theory” is worthless next to “actual application” and first-hand, personal experience within the very specialty one endlessly seeks to master provides the ideal platform for top-shelf creators to be developed.. and how fortunate for the other side, yeah that side that houses the consumers who consume creator’s creations.
(Wordy. I know. Trying to be succinct yet clearly challenged in capturing it. Still, the trying continues😝.)
A big bundle of well-spent time with Dr. Ramani’s recorded findings has been invested by me and the returns have been nothing short of fantastic. Gratitude, Doc R!! Know without doubt your efforts have and will continue to grow in value.. it takes a village, right?? And your village is a place I call home. Mí casa es su casa, neighbor. One of these days it will be pretty darn great to make you the best cup of Joe and relish in the opportunity to learn from you directly. Martha Beck say’s (roughly) “dream big.. like WIG BIG” (WIG: Wildly Impossible Goals) and I believe the point is why the hell not when it’s a option to choose.. it’s truth that the fruit on the tippy top of the tree is by far the most delicious!
This gig we are fortunate to have, this life to live is covertly (meant as a double entendre🙃) expeditious and too mellifluous to not cherish daily.
Lastly, I believe in choosing to transform whatever isn’t serving the greater good by shifting the perspective and more specifically transforming narcissistic abuse/cptsd/energy vampire-ism residue into fuel for the newborn warrior to blaze a path toward greater enlightenment.
Wordy. Still! I digress..
We can get better with time.. if we make time better used. I prefer to see it as a tremendous challenge rather than a hard hope to manifest. Challenge sparks intrigue, whereas hard upon being thought consumes energy as quickly as a boat consumes gasoline.
Keep the faith and respect the process.. investing in these values caters to a life story that alienates shame and promotes profound gratitude.
XO
Today’s society absolutely does reward narcs. Especially in business. They are viewed as being able to get things done. Narcs carry themselves arrogantly and for whatever reason, people look up to them. If the companies would pay attention to how these people destroy their business over time due to how narcs treat people and will absolutely do whatever they have to to get ahead, they would NEVER put another narc in charge of Even a peanut gallery. Unfortunately, even when the whole company has people getting let go or fired for crazy reasons by the narc , employees at each other’s throats, the lies, manipulating to get what they want and on and on and on... companies STILL keep hiring them and putting them in management positions. For some reason, people are drawn to these very arrogant, entitled people. And THEN the first one hires other narcs and before you know it, there’s a narc swarming! Have witnessed this.
No truer words have been written! I've experienced this myself during my internship year. The narcissist nearly broke me, but I held on. Unfortunately though that wasn't my last experience. The industry I'm in, TV is a filthy, grungy, cesspool of narcissists. I'm trying to figure my way out of this hell.
I needed to hear this. I am going through narc abuse at work. The company is allowing these narcissists to push people around. I'm very depressed as it seems to be everywhere lately. The company I work for has a 150% turnover. Isn't that enough proof that the narcs are causing people to quit left and right? It's a revolving door at this very popular company.
@@lindaschultz7900 I worked at top level collection agency and also seen this but collecting A type like me with empathy made money. Be strong think of self and how special you are to survive and thrive. Andy
@@fruitypopwhickle6806 See if you knew about these behavior patterns and don't talk someone you too will go down the rabbit hole. good luck Andy
That's a long climb back to fresh air not polluted with negativity. Thank you to help me on my journey to enlightenment.
There so many people that are sick with these toxic behaviours until you described this terrible trait. I would not have seen where I was. I thank Dr. Thank for my sanity. I was literally dying from this insanity in my reltionship. .
Most people in a capitalist society are narcissistic, it's the nature of the system
I hope things are better for you now 10 mos later ❤
Thank you!!! I have been binge watching your all your videos on Narcissistic personalities. I now know what the last 24yrs of my marriage, has done to me. You have saved me. Thank you so very much. You have given me more than hope. Thank you. I thought it was me and now I know it wasn’t me. Years of anti depressants. I no longer need them. Thank you
That narcissist trick where they show or tell you they're vulnerable and make you feel sorry for them cause they suffered in life and they can't help their behavior...my first bot parents...I recognized I was copying the behavior early on and decided I did not want to be that way...I hope I succeeded.
❤
This narc trick is called 'covert narcissism'. Ppl confuse this a lot b/c these folks use a victim mentality to make ppl fall for them or give them attention so they can control you THAT way. It's a very sly, sneaky manipulative tactic. This is why most ppl give them favors, space, control ultimately when it's all said and done. What makes it worse is how so many ppl react to these types of narcs by being naive and gullible and living in a fantasy bubble where they assume the best w/out digging deeper into seeing others for who they REALLY are.
We tell ourselves lies b/c lies are comforting and helps us cope but they also destroy your life if you don't face them and handle them properly b4 it's too late. Most folks believe in lies all the way through their senior yrs and then it's too late to change and face the music.
Right when she said narcissism if you stand close enough to it you get sick. Wow that is how I have felt with my ex since I can't remember. They have this ability to throw their negative energy off their body in waves and it just hits you like a ton of bricks they don't even have to say anything. Like an evil emotional super power.
So true. Their very presence is strife
I....
Literally....
Said this verbatim tonight...as I described him...🤯 Just wooooow!!!!
Yes well said they are evil and we need to keep labeling them as this they have a demon inside of them and that's why we feel physically sick! I felt this way around my mother and my ex I started having health problems because of it until I got away from them and then all my mysterious ailments left!
So true. I am sleeping constantly at the moment.
I lived with this for over 3 decades. I had no idea about narcissism . Once I started researching, I understood. It is one of the most unhealthiest way to live. Finding out it coincides with Bipolar and this just blows me away.
I wish I would known these things while younger. It would've saved me so much heartache. My husband is the worst type of narcissist.
Narcissism seems to be a pandemic! So sad! We have to do better at healing ourselves and begin to raise healthy children. Society will fall if we don't focus on mental health as a society!
Truth! 💯
Well said 👏👏👏
Amen and Amen.
Think narcissistic destroy world 🌎
Well said greetings from Egypt 🇪🇬
Dr Ramani is such a magnetic and engaging speaker... Really a genius in this field
maybe she's a narcissist 😂
@@kalvinp9693 notice they did not say charming. Those words were chosen very careful.
My 13 year old ever since he could talk, would worry about how much I spent if I took him out to eat. He would worry if I had enough money. He’s one of the most compassionate kids. When I cry, he hugs me and sometimes will cry too. My oldest is the same way. I’m so glad my boys are good. They have so much care for others.
What about you? Seem u are bragging and want attention ur self. Who your boys are is not you!
@@vickiredfeather4808 ok? I’m sure the creator of this video expects respectable comments. I in no way am bragging on anything. You’re the one sounds like you’re in need of some attention. What ever is bothering you, don’t take it out on other people. Get some help.
@@vickiredfeather4808 also, I left a narcissist 2 years ago. I’m the victim of abuse and yes, I am allowed to talk about it. My boys don’t have this disease, thankfully. That is all I was saying. I’m in therapy and you’re a gas lighting, mean spirited human and I refuse to give you what you want. I feel sorry for you.
Hopefully they won’t become involved with a narcissist !!!
From a mum to a mum. Kindness, compassion and empathy is in our core……. It’s refreshing to see. Something our beautiful world and souls need more of. Spread the love ❤ worldwide
My moms an alcoholic
Aaa
Man, I remember telling my psychologist "How a person could be so cruel and just wrong and mean!" I couldn't just conceive it. And now I get that some people just have a serious disorder.
We can learn to understand them and how they got that way from childhood. Just know it’s not YOU if you are a caring empathetic person. We have to just stay clear of them because we and most psyche docs can’t fix them! God bless 🙏
“You’ll find them at home on their computer trolling or coming up with their next big plan”. Good description of the covert. Thanks Dr. Ramani 💛
Yeah you forget that there are mentally ill people on the Internet. I just think they’re bullies or insecure.
I know narcissist who are. Succesful drs narcissists thrive in the work environment because. They are proud confident selfish and competitive.money gives them a sense of power
I am a narcissist, and I am willing to change, it's only since I have started my 12 step programme for Alcoholism ( i'd been in and out of A.A from 18yr to 42yrs ) and i am 2 months sober that i have accepted or stumbled upon the realisation it was me, not them. I had a small range of feelings and self pity was the glaring one i navigated about with all my life! I'd love help if possible? thanks for reading!
I gave so much of myself to other people. I was self-less and am now depleted of all my life force.
I was with my late husband for 17-1/2 years .I have multiple autoimmmune conditions that seemed to be getting worse while I was with him. Including a rare allergic condition. It was getting worse until I found out why my LH acted the way he did. He had an entire different personality and life. He was dating many women, using drugs and stealing. After he died I felt better! I’ve the last year I’ve improved so much I feel like I have my life back.
Not here for you, Thanks for your story.
Having had difficulties with people I
learned this:
Who are the most important people
in your life?
The people who aren't!
So glad you are doing better. I have been having Crohn’s flare ups and am sleeping constantly.. I am starting to think it’s cos of the environment I am.
They deplete you of the life force you need to maintain your health! It starts with chronic fatigue and pain! These people are silent killers!
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
its always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation my wife for 12 years left me, i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@@jaypritchett3414 wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@@juanderuano8969 Her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster and healer.
@@jaypritchett3414 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
@@jaypritchett3414 oh please
If this was taught in highschool as an elective class, think how much suffering would be avoided in each person's future life. I only learned about it at age 60. Realized why I was the odd one in the family. Thank God I know now, I can avoid them and live in peace now with whatever life I have left.☺️
True
I am so tired from watching dr Ramari tonight that I can only say she’s wonderful and if I watched this 20 yrs ago I would not have wasted all these yrs in a living hell thank you for your work on this subject and if anyone watching is on the fence Antisocial behavior need her warning run like hell were you ruin this for years upon years of your life right now you are indoor it’s like nothing is ever had before
The pain of a highly sensitive person: you see narcissist's bad behaviour, but you empathise them because of their childhood trauma, and you can even think you can heal all that by being a "good" close person. But then comes the reality. And even if they realise what they are doing is wrong and say they want to change, can it all outweigh the pain they give us?.. that's the question.
The second hand smoke analogy is incredible! I’m in the process of leaving a narcissistic marriage. I am determined to break this generational curse and get back to living a life of peace and joy and safety. Thank you so much for this information! You are making a huge difference in the world! 🙏💜
🙏🙏🙏
Absolutely
I did it you can do it too. No more gaslighting making me feel crazy when they stop upsetting you they go for your children please leave for their sake too. Non engaging is so freeing and you take back your power.
I’m so thankful for these videos I left my ex who was showed signs of narcissistic personality disorder and I’m about 3 months out. Looking forward to feeling like myself again and giving myself a year or more to heal
I’m so glad I found out what narcissism is from dating, because If I didn’t I would probably be in the crazy house by now trying to deal with these people. I’ve been through and identified everything what she’s explaining. Now I can easily detect it and I run run run.
I think, I’m a covert narcissist. Definitely learned from my mother, because I see so much of her in myself. But those that find themselves fitting in the narcissist and want to change, just know that you may never be 💯 from being one, but you can learn to become more self aware and it’ll come easier. Best of luck to you all.
None Ya; there's a thing called
"catching fleas" which refers to non-narcissists that have been influenced by relationships with the narc/toxic person, and have taken up learned behaviors or attitudes of the toxic influences. It's human to be impressionable
Thank you for your comment, it gives me hope for a friend of mine. 💖
I’m in the same situation as you but i like to think of myself as a nice person who learned some unhealthy habits to survive in that toxic environment. If you’re self-aware and are actively trying to change i don’t think you have full-blown npd.
I know.
I think being aware is a big step. I know so many people are not believers in God and his Son but I know what change took place in my life when I met my God and if you want to read your Bible with an open heart and get on your knees and pray sincerely to God daily for a change in your life He will answer and you will experience a change and greater than that others will see a change in you. That change will be everlasting. With that change in my heart I’ve been able to forgive my ex-husband and that is perhaps the greatest gift I’ve given to myself.
I realized I was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist about a month ago. He passed away in 2021, so it took me over a year to come to that realization. My psychiatrist that I had been seeing for 4 years recently had a talk about it and she said that now that I realized it, I need to get on a path of self-awareness, self-discovered, and watch videos on CZcams, read, listen to podcasts - understand it. Heal. Even if I'm still beating myself up over it, she knows me well enough that I will become like the phoenix rising from the ashes. All us victims have to be - and to all victims, I love you.
Lisa Kennedy,You deserve better
@@oscarwilliamson6163 who's Lisa ?
Fascinating chat! Love the conversations that the two of you have. He asks all the right questions, and Dr Ramani explains in a way that is easily understood and that we can all relate to. Loved her story about how she realized her daughter was empathetic. I watch a lot of true crime documentaries about serial killers, etc, and when my boys were little, I too looked for early signs of empathy -- no mother wants to bring a psychopath into the world. Thankfully, both of my sons were responsive to other people's suffering from an early age, and like Dr Ramani, I breathed a sigh of relief!
Thank you! I've really learned a lot from your discussions. My mother was a narcissist and took all her frustrations out on me. We had to live with her for a while after my divorce. That's when the abuse ramped up when she was with my children just to embarrassed me. Pretty soon my children were treating me like my mother did - hired help. My siblings stood with her all the time. Anyway, she Jas passed on and my children have taken up her cause. Abusive texts, threats, and keeping the grands from me. Haven't seen my grown son or grandchildren in 4 years. This has been followed with threats on my life. I'm sick of crying and bowing down to my son, daughter, and daughter in law - especially my daughter in law. She is the one that started this 4 years ago and refuses to stop. She treats her mother the same way. Thank you for taking a look at this and thank you for your u tube teachings. P!ease continue them. I feel stronger with the know!edge than without it. All these years I have been trying to repair the holes in my fence when I just suddenly realised that I don't need a fence after all!! Thank you!
Thank you is not enough! Two years now following the greatest Psychologist of all times! Continue to help us and save lives. You''re the best!
She REALLY is amazing. Nights I am able to sleep,I'm listening to her videos,my favorites on a playlist. When Im not able to sleep,I binge watch videos. She has given me HOPE ,for the first time in many years
I left my narcissistic husband at the beginning of this year and I know that you are spot on with your take of why a person doesn't always recognise that they're in a relationship with a narcissist. Because of my childhood I was easy to manipulate and abuse because I felt I didn't deserve any better. With almost a year of pattern change group therapy and now weekly sessions with a psychotherapist I'm getting much better. I didn't think I would ever recover but I'm becoming a better version of my previous self because I see my family for who they are and I see him for who he is and I won't let anyone abuse me ever again!
hopefully so.. good luck to you! i was unfortunately so tricked and confused i spent 20 yrseach with 2of them!
Yes!
Congratulations, time tries to fool one into thinking the bad times weren't that bad, but eventually we learn to put it down and not pick that up ever again
I am glad for you being out of that. Sadly, even people with high self-worth can get pulled in and beaten down. I’ve seen extremely confident strong people lose themselves to attrition.
Mad that so many people are going through this, the degradation of society means this exponential damaging trend is only going to get worse.
Those videos are really helping me out to overcome a bad breakup with a narcissistic, abusive girlfriend. You really hit something whit the "don´t be ashamed" bit.
Both my parents are social workers. They always did an effort to teach me how to identify abuse, and I just feel I feel like a fool. It can really happen to anyone. Thanks a lot, your multiple advice really helps a lot, and understanding what happened with her and the process too.
I have had 7 narcissists in my life and thanks to you I am finally understanding a bit more.
its the topic of our generation because we have finally determined this is a "pattern" but many don't have a way to classify or address it. Giving it a name is empowering. Thank you !
You guys are therapy. We are absolutely traumatized by soul sucker, jealous of our positive energy narcissists. I can finally feel loved and understood.
Hi. I stumbled upon this video and I needed this. my mom (only parent) is a narcissist and I only realized when I went to uni because my friends were the ones who pointed out that this is what was happening to me. even though I got diagnosed with depression at the age of 14, I never thought it was because of the way she treated me. growing up in a household where you're told from a young age that you are the problem makes you believe that you are just born problematic and I never thought that the problem was the abuse I received. luckily for me, therapy helped me over the years and when I got to uni I stopped going home as often as I could and I became a healthier person. I'm currently in a situation where I have to move back home, and knowing what I know now, I'm feeling very anxious because I don't want to undo the years of work I did on myself through therapy. a big problem I have with my personality now is that I'm a big people's pleaser and I always make excuses for people who hurt me and I always choose to stay in that situation. this video is giving me the courage to face this situation head on because I'm going to watch out for this behaviour and protect myself as much as I can from it
I hope you dont move back. Please try not too.
I swear I thought I was losing it, trying to figure out my coworker. I had NEVER met anyone like her. Never. I'm 49, too. I stumbled upon one of your videos about people who lack empathy. Then, I realized that a narcissist was MUCH deeper than them loving their outward appearance. I had no idea how deep this was! I understand so much more about what I have to deal with at work, now. It has really helped me understand how to create boundaries and stand my ground. I don't like being "too agreeable" anymore around this one person. It has caused me so much confusion and doubts about myself. I am just NOW figuring out that this coworker of 7 years actually has NPD. Everything you talk about makes me understand this so much more. I am finding it easier to deal with, knowing all of this information you kindly share! Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani! You are helping so many people!
I was in a marriage with a narcissist for 28years , and wasn't aware until it was too late. But I'm free of it now...praise God. Thank you for talking about this topic
You mean that guy that may judge you, but whom you are not allowed to judge?
The guy that is allknowing, allseing and allways right but calls you a sinner all the time?
That guy that threathens you with endless punishment if you dont obeye but calls it "Love".
Your sad christian image of a god is the most severe narcissist ever and the spread of christianity and worshipping this asshole is the exact reason why there are so many N in this world.
Thank goodness that you were able to get out and move forward with your life!
My dad stayed married to my malignant narcissist mother for 30 years bc of his beliefs.
And at only 60, he died suddenly of a heart attack. I have *no* doubt that dealing with my mom's chaos and BS sent him to an early grave.
The only thing I'm thankful for is that I happened to be visiting my parents house when he had his heart attack and, as traumatic & horrible as it was, I was the only one with him in his last moments bc I performing CPR on him.
My mom ran screaming out of the room and left me to try and deal with it. Which I did of course bc my dad needed me and he and I had a wonderful, close relationship.
Life is SO short! All my best to you in your future!
What were the signs you realized?
Amen
@@binaryfairy4197 My Condolences, glad you were there to help your father.
Dr. Ramani saved my life!! Her book gave me clarity to make the decision to walk away from a narcissistically abusive marriage. It’s been years now and I’m still listening to her. Love u doc!
If you’re here to learn, you’re learning from the very best ❤
That opening line though! The second hand smoke of mental illness, spot on.
This should be taught to children starting in elementary school. We can do that without using adult language and phrases, but it must be done early. By the time we are blind sided by an narc, and haven’t had the training to counter that behavior, it’s too late and the next step is to enter recovery from narcissistic abuse.
You are correct, but that would require the boys to be taught the selfish nature of female vanity. The projection, distraction and deception that is the female "survival" techniques that have been hidden from the males for centuries. But "believe all women", right? You're not as innocent as your pretty face portrays.
I LOVE what you said about your main goal with your kids was to teach them to be empathetic. I was very focused on this in raising my children and often felt guilty because I was not pushing them to be super-achievers. I was surrounded by ‘super-achievers’ in my neighborhood. The kids on our block who were in enrichment classes were very snooty about their ‘high intelligence’ and others were proud of their expensive shoes and matching outfits. One neighborhood father never PLAYED basketball with his son - he harassed and criticized the poor kid till he cried every time they came over. Sometimes I felt like sending the dad home because he couldn’t play nice. I made sure my kids knew that basketball was a game, games are for playing and playing is for fun. When people are being mean to each other the ‘fun’ isn’t worth having.
Good for you on all. I feel badly for the boy you describe. I’m very glad for ppl like you-but why the minority?! Could cry at that.
Pride is a sin, not a virtue. People have everything backwards nowadays.
@@ssp4795 that’s the truth! Narcissism seems to be spreading in society like an undiscovered cancer.
Thats what i hate, when i want to go out and have fun even as an adult. People turn mean and ugly, and start being very judgemental and competitive that its not fun anymore until they know they made me feel really crappy!
You're not just informative, you're entertaining! Love your channel!!❤
This makes so much sense and awareness of what a narcissist is. I am someone who has complex trauma from childhood and became a people pleaser, caring, helpful and a kind easy going person and I never knew that the people that I know are narcissists. I just thought they were just mean people who use others to their benefit and listening to this has really opened my eyes and found myself keeping my distance from them because it would trigger me because of the violence that I went through growing up. I have so much empathy for others and I would fall into the manipulation from them. I had to set boundaries with a family member who still tries to use manipulation to get her way and I have had to ignore it because I realized there is no point to call them on it because they turn it around on me that I am the bad person. Therapy has helped me to see how I was used my whole life and how I would feel uncomfortable around them.
And also chronic lying and cheating! Thank you Dr. Ramani! My Narcissistic ex was a Malignant Narcissist who crossed back and forth with Grandiosity.
Dr. Ramani is amazing. Thanks for supporting mental health education!
The narcissist person I was looking after him. He was client. He said to me just before he got mad at me for breaking his figurine. Lol true. He said to me “ I am trying to not lie “. I knew then. The whole time I knew him. 24 hours per week. Was a total lie.
Lying, cheating, scheming and stealing.
I have one of those he is a habitual and chronic liar on a daily basis even about little things example today I asked him if he put the tea bags in the tea container he said yes he did!!!however when I went to go grab the tea container it just had water no tea bags..Even though I just bought and cooked a fantastic dinner for him he appeared to be happy and grateful at the moment but then he does back door bullshit all the time repeatedly daily I am just now learning by these videos and I am so grateful for the Internet and these videos because I thought I was crazy I thought I was overreacting or thinking too much about things
Does anybody else have a narcissistic husband that completely and 100% refuses intimacy directly after having their first child the child now is 17 years old going to be 18 in two months I’m asking for a friend LOL not funny at all though please if anybody on here is going through this let me know thanks
"what am I not asking you about NPD that I need to be asking" this is such a great question!
Empathy was a huge part of my cultural background. This is a huge eye-opener as to Action in empathy. Telling someone to be empathetic and being it yourself is by far more important. As a parent, one has to be rather than say so happy to have this information as I do believe i passed this onto our kids. They are truly empathetic kids with empathy for others and they actually do something about it. Great powerful stuff here.
I appreciate how well you understand this topic. It shows up in your oh so realistic examples. Thank you for your insights. They're very helpful.
The emptiness. I’ve looked into the eyes of my narcissist and there really is nothing there. I struggled for years wondering if I’m the narc and maybe they weren’t really narcissistic? But that one line about the emptiness puts it in a nutshell. I’d recognise it if I saw it again.
There's nothing behind the flat state .no depth ,no life. They are soulless
Yea I had to question myself too. Like I was on the verge of suicide and my ex told me it wouldn’t make a difference to him anyways because I am dead to him anyways. He’s mad at me because I kept the car and I have his stuff. Which is offered several times to give back but he refused.
@@brinalee3362 truth don't set u free
The pattern of narcissm seems to have been spawned in my family of origin by emotional trauma suffered by both sides. Narcissism played a huge role in my mother's and at least one sister's lives. It has taken me 70 years to understand this much. I am working hard to heal from CPTSD and I fear what else I may learn about my family... including myself.
Strength to you. I’m glad you’ve found labels, explanations, for some of the things that have plagued you for so long. I’m much younger, but learning about these things literally changed my life - for the better. Hopefully the same is true for you!
Thank u for sharing so honestly... I will turn 48 next week... am still single, frustrated in my career, wanted to be a psychologist but ended up doing plumbing instead like 3 generations of males before me, and really just beginning to break the ice on long-standing family trauma, pain and non-empathy... my mother passed away two years ago this past July (in some ways from a broken heart) and I like to think of this work as an ongoing tribute to her spirit 😳
This has been so very helpful! Thank You! May you be super blessed this New Year 2023!
The host makes greats questions.
Applauses to the doctor, it's mind blowing to listen to her. So accurate!!!
Giving up one's addiction to social validation will definitely be of great help in getting rid of narcissism in oneself!
@@sunnyswiatlo6936 I agree, and many psychological professionals I respect are onto this phenom!
Dr. Ramani has to be the best Therapist out there on narcissism. So much love for the work. You can feel her passion to help her clients as well as millions online. I am so glad that she found her voice and can share her wisdom with us all. Thank you to Red Table Talk for introducing her work. Most of my narcissistic clients have been to other therapists who have/had no clue that they are/were dealing with narcissism not depression. You would literally give those narcissists everything and yet it still would not be sufficient then you start questioning your expertise only to later realize that you were dealing with a narcissist. Thank you Dr. Ramani and Med Circle for all the good work.
Dr. Les is also great.
How to move on to what at 81, narc family. Friends are shocked at my ,other, life.
just left a narcissistic relationship with my ex and her daughter, an adult now.....they are both narcissists and I was trying to get them to see that.....but listening to you I know that I can't get my point across like so many others who have tried before me.....I figured they loved me enough to listen and fix themselves but now i know I'm talking to somebody with deaf ears... sad but true .....so I just 100% ended the relationships......I already feel better and don't feel so emotionally and physically drained to walk on egg shells all the time trying not to explode them!!! so thank you for clarifying this condition and situation that I was living in and experiencing
Dr Romani, I have no words for how much I admire and love you as a human. What you are doing with your life is so admirable and inspiring. Thank you ❤️ I don't have a happy life but I know one day I might if I do the work.