♡ I've Been Keeping a Secret... (04.02.19) | Amy's Life ♡
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- čas přidán 3. 02. 2019
- ♡ I've Been Keeping a Secret... (04.02.19) ♡
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Wow! Thank thank thank you!
Thank you for being so open about OCD and not showing it as Hollywood does. I have NEVER admitted this to anyone other than my therapist. I have OCD as well and have always been soooop ashamed and embarrassed about it. Thank you for encouraging me to face myself by being so honest yourself. Much love and respect to you 💜
Eve & Artie thank you! ❤️❤️
OCD isn't always being clean, it's about rituals. The main reasons for OCD is feeling like you have no control over a certain thing in your life (your illness). It makes perfect sense that you would have it. I'm working on mine, I really would encourage you to read something called The Thrive Programme. You can download it on kindle and let me tell you this....it's so worth it. I really hope you manage to overcome it, mental illness is horrible. 🤗
I'm so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. OCD can be the absolute worst sometimes. I hate how people literally just think it means you need to keep things clean. It's sooooo much worse than that. Mine literally gets so bad I have to rip out my toenails. And before anyone says "that's not because of ocd" I've spoken to my Psychologist and therapist and they both believe that is why it is occurring. It's even worse because i'm chronically ill so I am hyperaware of bacteria and viruses (to protect myself). Also, I constantly think my house is going to burn down which is SUPER problematic lol. It just absolutely consumes everything.
I'm glad that you are seeking help that sounds like a lot. Sending you hugs
Thanks hun. Hugss
*Your editing and production value are amazing! Keep up the good work 💕*
Nichole Cooper thank you! 🙊🙊🙊
I just want to say how proud I am of you for sharing about your OCD. I recently finished my doctorate in clinical psychology and my previous job was at an OCD and anxiety clinic. (I now work at a college). I worked with children and young adults (and some older too). I really appreciate your candidness and your openness. OCD is definitely misunderstood and generalized to the cleanliness trait, but that is just one variation. I think it’s great that you explained how yours shows up. I think it will be helpful for others who may suffer but have been feeling uncertain about getting help. You are so brave and courageous with all you do. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for talking about this. I have OCD and I always have to tell people I have actual diagnosed OCD because it's something used so lightly so often. My OCD has affected me by causing a fear of germs and a fear of getting sick specifically vomiting or having stomach issues. When someone says "just don't wash your hands for so long" or "don't disinfect that you'll be fine" it's so frustrating! I get why they say that I do but it just doesn't work like that. I work on it and it has gotten better. But there are still some things I have to do, and if I don't I will fixate on the germs. I will picture them crawling on me and everything I touch will have them and they could be on there for a week and then a week from now I will pick up that germ and get sick. That's the kind of thoughts that will go through my head and cause severe anxiety and panic attacks. It's really hard for people that don't suffer from it to understand but it's very hard to deal with. We know we are being irrational but something in our brain thinks differently. You are definitely not alone and there is help out there! Love you girl! ❤ Also I love Violet Crumbles they have them at world market in America and I think they are better than crunchies.
Sorry to hear, mental illness is so hard to deal with. I’m dealing with anxiety and depression at the moment and my boyfriend has anxiety, depression and ocd. It’s hard but it can be worked through! ❤️
If I dont have a bagel and coffee in the morning. My whole routine is messed up and I hate it. If my bed isnt made before I get in it then I wont sleep well. I relate to you girl. Thank you for being open 💙
I totally get what you’re saying!! It’s so awesome to see someone talk about this because so many people have made fun of me or not taken me serious about my OCD! Thank you for sharing, love you so much♥️‼️
So much love for you 💕❤️ I’ve struggled with OCD for years, but it was originally misdiagnosed as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’ve never admitted this to anyone before, but mine revolves around the fear of being judged or negatively perceived by others. Hearing you speak out about your OCD inspires me to get help and speak out about mine, so thank you so so much for sharing your story! Know that you are not alone in this fight and you have a whole community who has your back ❤️💕
Thank you for opening up about your struggles. I’ve been struggling with really bad anxiety lately and I’m having a hard time admitting it ☹️
Lol! The part where you were looking up Tom’s nose was hilarious 😂🤣
The spontaneous chocolate karate chop is the funniest thing i have seen in a long time. Love seeing you guys acting up together
Thank you so much for speaking about this! OCD is so misunderstood. I really appreciate that you pointed out the bit about the fan. Most people think it's just needing to eat the gummies in the right order but it's so much more than that! It's the intrusive thoughts that make the disorder and the repeated behaviours are just a coping mechanism and how they comes out. I don't have OCD but I do deal with intrusive thoughts daily so I totally understand what you mean and it's not crazy. They may be irrational, but we are feeling them, they are real thoughts. It just takes time and work to learn to deal and manage in a healthy way
Thank you for talking about having OCD. It helps a lot to know I’m not alone in my struggles. I’m happy you’re getting help Amy. You inspire me everyday ❤️
I’m glad you shared about your OCD. The guy who put in my PICC line had legit OCD about germs and doing things in a specific order and told me in advance, but for him it fit very well with his job, and he did a great placement, and the extra time he spent cleaning was totally fine with me. I know it’s not the same as yours exactly, and OCD can be very debilitating, but I just want you to know it’s nothing to be embarrassed of. Many people have can relate. I have panic attacks quite regularly.
Thank you for explaining OCD! I knew the “basics” but did not realize the fear side of it, although I understand how that would be involved. Sending gentle hugs 💜 and thanks for the reminder to use these terms for what they actually mean so they are understood!
Thanks for talking about your ocd Amy, it can be so debilitating I have sympathy for you as a fellow sufferer! What you describe as 'stupid thoughts' are the worst, I've had breakdowns like the one you had over the most mundane things. It's difficult for people who don't suffer from it to understand. What I always try to remember when interacting with someone who isn't responding to my symptoms in a helpful way is that even if their words/actions are wrong, they're coming from a place of care and concern rather than a negative place. People don't understand but they just want you to not be suffering. I got CBT for my symptoms and it definitely helped me to manage them easier on a day to day basis.
thanks for sharing amy! mental health can get clouded behind the importance of dealing with a chronic physical illness. glad you are opening up about your mental health struggles as well. we are here for you!
I enjoy your videos so much, they just are so engaging and interesting and relatable and make me want to start youtube! I also really miss eating food, I don't have gastroparesis (which I am so thankful for) but I do have a series of other chronic things that affect my diet so much and I still can relate to missing food, especially in social situations or when people offer you food and say things like "today can be your cheat day" but what they don't understand is that my diet is not a weight loss or fad diet, it keeps my body from becoming debilitated in bed the next day because the pain and inflammation is so bad. But I just really appreciate your channel and having someone to watch when I get home who understands the struggle
I actually have OCD as well. Mine is mostly making sure everything stays even. Odd numbers stress me out. I also have body dysmorphic disorder which is a sub type of OCD.
Yeah I also struggle from OCD and I feel like I get the question "do you like odd or even numbers" so often and people don't understand its not always that simple, for mine it's specific numbers and their multiples and I also have body dysmorphic disorder as well as Generalised Anxiety and depression, I hope you're doing well and I wish you the best of luck with your journey❤👍
I have the same thing with odd numbers and such, it sucks so bad because people constantly do shit to trigger me
I just wanted to say thank you for speaking up about this! I have OCD and have found it completely dibilitating at times. Stay strong xx
Your so incredibly brave & strong. I love that your so open, honest, and still remain so positive
“Don’t do it that way,nothing bad will happen” that’s a very damaging phrase to say to someone with OCD. I’ve been struggling with OCD/Anxiety/Depression since I was 12 and I’m 32 now and it sucks because the thoughts behind the actions make absolutely no logical sense and it’s hard to do the action knowing that. But you have a community behind you of not just followers but of supporters and we are here for you 💕 thanks for sharing your story
Allie Jones Mine flared super bad when I was 14 I had to be out of school for a couple weeks till I was diagnosed and medicated. I'm 33 now and able live a pretty typical life but it still flares up in high stress situations.
You're such an a amazing person Amy you really are, so sweet and honest I love watching your vlogs it makes me strive to be a better person. With all you go though I'm just stunned that you are the way you are, I don't have a chronic illness I do however suffer from mental health disorders like a anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder and bulimia it gets too much at times but when it does I watch your videos and see how strong that you are and it really does help me to pullmyself together, so thank you xx
I’m very proud of you for being so vulnerable and open. I love that you are always pushing on no matter what life brings your way. I don’t know much about what it’s like to have ocd but I wish only the best for you.
Thank you for talking about your experience with OCD. I've had it for years and I think It's one of the most exhausting and debilitating things I have to deal with. OCD trumps my other physical disabilities and illnesses basically every day. Mental illnesses are very taxing and it doesn't help that a lot of people don't understand. OCD is so much more than just needing to have a clean room, although that is how some people's OCD manifests, so thank you for shedding light on such an important topic.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I too have OCD along with my 18 year old son who has battled this since he was 6 along with GAD generalized anxiety disorder. I suffer from chronic pain from a disastrous endoscopy procedure that left me with a hole in my intestine. I have international damage nerve damage( neuropathy) a collapsed intestine. And finally ptsd from nearly died became septic etc. watching you, you have inspired me!
I really love seeing you being real. I suffer with bipolar and PTSD and it is very difficult. I also have an eating disorder as well. It is so hard especially enduring what people say online. You keep your head up. You have my support.
I see 04.01.2019 and I think I've missed an episode. Then I see your new finger bling and Tom shaving, so know everything is right with the world. Happy Lunar New Year 🎉 Thank you for being so open about your mental health. You are not alone.
i also get those really intrusive thoughts that disrupt my life - it can be so debilitating; my heart goes out to you. it’s such s difficult thing to work through and i’m so proud of u for doing so
I was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 3. I am 22 now, and it is still a massive battle. Thank you for being brave, opening up, and ultimately spreading awareness :)
Hey I have been dealing with OCD since I was a child and I never told my family about it till recently and it's so nice hearing someone talk about what it's actually like to have OCD and what it's like to have thoughts that's you can't control. Thanks for opening up about it and bring light on what it's really like to have OCD.
Aww Amy I have OCD too. It's so tough and you're mind seems to take over. Sending you so much love and just wanted you to know you're not alone
I also suffer with OCD and the anxiety that comes with it is so bad. Like, it makes me so nauseous. I am glad you're getting help with yours! :)
I've suffered with anxiety attacks for the last ten years (since my early 20s) and can fully appreciate your honesty, never feel embarrassed by what triggers you. At the height of my attacks I was at a water park and needed to go to the toilet, public toilets are one of my triggers, I still don't even know why, I spent forever just standing outside, I was too scared to go in and it was a little bit dark in there, I was close to tears, it was only when a kid walked in happy as Larry that I realised the stupidity of it all. It probably sounds bonkers to anyone else and I'm aware it's irrational but I am the way I am and I've worked really hard to fight through my anxiety, I'm a lot better now.
Thank you for being so open. I have suffered from OCD for a long while and my family makes fun of me for it all the time. I can’t help it and it is so difficult to manage sometimes. I always think the whole worse case scenario as well 😢
It takes a lot to open up about your mental health! I tried to handle my anxiety myself with just exercise but it wasn’t enough so I finally went to the doctor and I’m so glad I did. Working on your mental well-being is hard but worth it 💞
Thank you !!!! I have anxiety and my thoughts are like yours sometimes with my anxiety and people think I am crazy but I am not ! Thank you again
My heart goes out to you. You are definitely not alone with this! Any of it! So much love and support surrounds you on all sides.
I am glad you are getting help for your OCD. OCD is so debilitating
Oh you have OCD. I had it when I was little. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helps. Also I would reverse it and make it so that if I did what the OCD wanted me to do that’s when something bad would happen. That way you beat it. ;)
OCD is so hard to deal with, it manifests in so many different ways. As someone who deals with chronic illness, now cancer, I find my own OCD rearing it's ugly head and a lot of it comes with my medical care and making sure the nurses and doctors are doing everything "right". Having been a Registered Nurse for 10 years, it's extremely hard for me to give up control and be the patient. I think you are really brave for speaking out about this, most people dont understand OCD at all, they think they are educated by what mass media says, but the media is almost always wrong about things like OCD and well medical information period.
I can so relate..
I also struggle with OCD , and life with OCD is NOT easy ... I got your back gurl ! I know how stressfully life is with ocd ❤️
it honestly felt like you were describing my ocd because my intrusive thoughts and behaviours are almost identical to yours!!! im so sorry you're going through something that feels as impossible as this often does, but im sure you know you're not alone and i hope you can find comfort in sharing things with us now that you've told us about it. I'm glad to hear you're getting help and i wish you all the best in the world
I have watched you since you were in the UK, but I don’t usually comment. Thank you so much for discussing your struggle with OCD. I also have EDS and severe OCD, and this combination has had a massive impact on my life. I am bed bound due to a large spinal cyst, and EDS related symptoms. I find it impossible to have the care I need, due to my OCD. In the past I have tried every therapy going, but nothing has helped, for a sustained period of time. I also have intrusive thoughts, so I understand what you are going through. I started suffering from OCD when I was five, but I didn’t get diagnosed until my mid thirties. Unfortunately, I think my OCD was too ingrained, by the time I sought help. My advice would be to accept every intervention or therapy that is offered to you. There are also good self help resources online. Wishing you all the best!
Thank you for sharing Amy! I also suffer from this, very similar to yours actually. Most mornings I am late for work because of my “routines”. Mine is primarily with numbers and patterns. I also suffer bad anxiety attacks if things don’t stay the way I need them when it comes to this. It’s so hard and I’ve never told anyone, not even my fiancé. I feel so bad for you about your panic attack. Hang in there! 💜
Good for you. I know how hard it is to tell people about mental health issues. I have P.T.S.D. When I tell someone or talk about it, I usually get total silence.
You are such a strong, brave woman.
Thank you for speaking about OCD. Many people will benefit from your honesty and people like myself who don't suffer with it can better understand. I really appreciate your vlogs and speaking out. 😀♥️
Aww Amy, I didn't see that coming. I'm sorry. Gosh, life can be so rough. Sending good vibes your way! ❤️
❤️❤️❤️🥺 sending some love xxxx
From what I understand, OCD in people with chronic illness is INCREDIBLY common-because there is so much of our lives that we can’t control-our mind tries to mess with us! It maybe a strategy your mind is jumping to to cope/deal with what you are going thru-and that’s HUMAN!! (I hope u get what I mean!) There is no such thing as stupid thoughts-it’s REAL, and what your head is telling you! I know how you feel!! Hang in there, I’m SO glad you are getting help!!! You are AWESOME-and it will get better if you keep working on it!!
Well done for being so open that is such a huge step! :)
Just viewed your video. Became my inspiration. You been suffering so much yet managed to keep a smile. Remain strong Amy.
Thank you for being so open about it! My OCD presents itself in a similar way as yours with the sense that is isn't textbook. one of my bits of OCD is I have to verbally say what little task (such as small things at work or even locking my front door) or something will happen as a consequence and I have to redo said task a certain amount of times
I completely understand getting frustrated when people over use a word, like I struggle with extremely anxiety and agoraphobia, and it makes me sooo mad when my friends who have no issue say they have anxiety, like you may be anxious but you don’t have anxiety disorder. It bothers me so much because it’s like they are downplaying how serious it is. I am really sad to hear that you’ve been struggling with this, I hope you can maybe get some help or you start to feel better!
I have been struggling with OCD for 2 years now XX my checking and rituals have gotten worse since I had my son 9 months ago! Thank you for sharing this I makes it a lot less lonely
Oh wow, thank you for sharing. We love you!
I was diagnosed with OCD almost 8 years ago now. And I also understand that struggle when people misuse the term. Nothing drives me mad more than someone who says “oh I’m a little OCD” cause that’s legitimately saying “oh I’m a little obsessive compulsive disorder” and it drives me crazy. So you’re not alone. Thank you for opening up about it, and... yeah. I don’t know what else to say but yeah.
I completely get this, Its part of my aspergers. I can make things really hard. but at the time its so real. I grew up with my mum having severe OCD and I didnt have it until I was about your age. your doing great talking about it, this will only help more people
I can't imagine how hard it must have been to make and post this video. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. We're here for you!
Hugs and best wishes in this, Amy. I worked through a few OCD traits a few years back. Mine was with dealing with housework being done in my exact way. Clothes had to be hung on the clothesline by colour, and hung with matching clothes pegs. Yes, all pegs for each item had to be the same colour. If hubby hung the clothes for me, I HAD to pull them all off and colour match clothes to pegs all over again or I would get too worked up.
I love you and Tom’s relationship so much! You’re both adorable!
I also have dealt with OCD for most of my life, as well as compulsive skin picking (most recently, on my face 🙈), and I still struggle a lot with getting stuck in "loops" in my head, or compulsive reassurance seeking/needing things to be said a certain way (I have no idea if that makes sense). Medication helps, but like most things, it's not a cure by any means. I feel like the stigma prevents us all from talking about it, but I believe it's so so important to. Just like zebras, no two people with OCD are the same. I just want to say thank you for sharing ❤️
I have OCD for real..and yes ppl do just say it so loosely..I struggle..it throws me into an anxiety attack...it's paralyzing at times...I'll keep you in my prayers 😘thanks for sharing!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
I’m so sorry to hear this because I suffer with it myself and so I understand where you are coming from. I have more of the obsessive side of OCD where I worry a lot about “dumb” things. I also get panic attacks 😔. I’m so glad that you are getting help for it! I take medication for it which helps. Love you Amy an hope things get better for you soon!
I have really only heard ocd as being completely clean, but witnessing how I act for instance when I wash dishes and stack them they are color coated and by size and if they’re not it’s on my mind all day or when I do something like flipping a switch or just anything really it is to be an even number, it’s usually been 8 or 4. Every day I get out of my car and the volume is on 8. I myself am a messy disorganized person to most but to me it’s my way of how I want things. Haven’t been diagnosed and don’t think I will be not to worried tho
Love you^*^ stay strong you’re such an amazing inspiration and influence to keep strong no matter what happens
I hear you. Sometimes, the thoughts are really ridiculous, but the thoughts can seem so real as well. It’s difficult. Props to you for being open and talking about the challenging subject of OCD. Be kind to yourself if you can. Best.
I totally get it, I don't have OCD but I know someone who does and it really sucks. I suffer from mental health issues as well and it has changed my perspective on life. Love you Amy and good luck with figuring it all out. I was wondering if you had any other mental health things because of having chronic illness and that kind of thing. I also live in Australia and love the fact that I can come home from an interesting day at school and watch a great video😀
I don't deal with OCD, but I do suffer from Terrible anxiety and schizoaffective disorder depressive type.. I can relate quite a bit to you, I get irrational fears because of my anxiety.. if my dad is late to come home from work I think hes in a car accident, gotta check the locks on the doors, make sure my medications are in the right spot.. its terrible. My schizoaffective symptoms are easier to deal with than the anxiety!
You are so strong Amy, you will get over this bump in the road!
OCD is debilitating. I have watched for a long time silently but this video moved me to comment. I am a therapist and I work with many people who have anxiety, OCD, depression, etc. I am so happy to hear you are getting treatment. I obviously can’t give medical advice online but I wanted to say that the gold standard for treatment is Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) and CBT - many people also need mediation as well. I wish you well on your journey. Be well:-)
*medication not mediation😉
I have the same issue with having to do things in a certain way. I would have the same reaction you did, thank you for sharing how OCD isn't just "oh I keep everything tidy" OCD has so many different ways of affecting your life
Yes....I think so many of us have very very similar issues!! I’m a clean/tidy/organized person as well because the same thoughts come if I am not....or if I don’t put my left pant leg or left sock on first.....you get the picture!!!
I completely understand the OCD tendencies, especially with Medical storage, lovking doors, having my bag with me checking things certain amount of times
I love your video!Thank you for sharing your story about your OCD. I to suffer from OCD some days are better than others.
Thank you for your honesty. What you think it is not silly just irrational.
Glad you are getting help.Love seeing you and Tom together x
Don't be embarrassed. More people need to bring OCD out into the open. It's not just a clean thing. My son had several routines he had to go through before he could go to school. If he messed up a step, he started over or had a meltdown. What you are going through is very real. Bless you for opening up the subject. I'm glad you are working on your OCD issues. Keep us posted. We understand. Susan
I just wanted to stop by and say what an inspiration you are. Even though you ate struggling with your own health issue you still care g or your family members helping them with their own issues. I think most ppl have some ocd issues in some way. I keep you in my prayers and hope that you have many blessings coming your way.
Don’t worry I have this too and I recommend getting help books and don’t let it control you!this is not you and it’s not your fault ,good luck😂
Omg I have been waiting all day for this ! 😊
Regina Moreno me too
i love that you still care for your family when they're ill. chronic illness can make things like common infections seem silly but it's refreshing to see you taking their temporary illnesses seriously
I have frizzy/fluffy/wavy yield-sign esque hair (it's short, and when I don't style it it turns into a triangle). I've learned that mixing some sort of oil (I use a spray on argan oil) & mousse (there's a l'oreal curl elastic one here in the states that works really wonderfully for me), letting it air dry, then breaking the mousse works wonderfully for embracing my natural texture w/o frizz
Violet (violent LOL), Crumble has been in Australia for decades. I used to eat them as a kid more than 40 years ago. Back than it was also common in a multipack of honeycomb squares (not individually wrapped), but haven't seen it that way for years. It is a sweeter harder more dense honeycomb than a crunchie. Crunchie also has a more slightly burnt caramel taste (which is also nice). My favorite way to eat it is to freeze it, and smash it into lots of little pieces and eat bit by bit (a not so old ad for it had the slogan, "It's the shatter that matters").
I have OCD myself that doesn't revolve around cleaning. Mine is the same as yours but revolves mainly around even numbers! I know exactly how it feels with the panic attacks. It's horrid but I'm on Meds to help it. I used to pick at my scalp until it bled because of bumps I felt and it helped my anxiety. I'd finish my picking episodes with fingernails full of blood it was awful. I like to think I have some sort of control over it now. Main thing is, don't feel ashamed, it doesn't make us different!
Love you and Tom! Thanks for sharing about your OCD, we are all here for you xo Plus I like Tom better with his "goatee" Loving you from Canada.
Thanks for opening up about your OCD. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago.
I understand what you were going through. When I was younger, I would have to wash my hands so much or else I would think random things would happen. From getting sick, to just random things that wouldn't even relate to my hands. OCD is really rough to go through, and it can consume you. My hands would be red, cracked, and bleeding all the time, all the way halfway up my forearms. I was able to get over it by myself, and I bet you can get through it to! I don't really remember how I did it, but you'll figure out the best thing for you! 💓💓
Thank you for this video. I'm dealing with a different type of OCD, I get intrusive thoughts about my relationship. Last year I had an argument with my boyfriend (while I was on birth control which makes me extremely depressed and anxious) and a couple days later I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Couldn't feel anything, I felt like a different person. My boyfriend was supposed to come visit me and for the first time in a year I wasn't excited, it was like he was a stranger. Then I got this thought in my head "what if you don't love him anymore?" and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I spent weeks crying, the idea of making him suffer makes me want to die. Losing him was my biggest fear, and everything changed overnight. It eventually got better but never really went away. It was like I couldn't see our future together anymore, but I actually couldn't see my future at all. I've convinced myself that we won't work and want different things but this doesn't make sense because I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with him up until the day of the argument. Now it's been over a year, started taking birth control again (I have a pretty bad hormonal imbalance) and now it's all come back. I've convinced myself that I don't love him and spend my days crying because of it. I feel so depressed and can't feel happiness at all. I don't want to see him suffer, I just want him to be happy and have a healthy relationship.
Look into different methods of birth control. The pill can seriously mess up your (subconscious) perception of pheromones which can influence your relationship with your partner ( this and messing with your libido which does not help).
I feel the exact same about my hair. No matter what I do it's frizzy. Only when my stylist blows it out does it looks smooth. But if my hair looks like yours (and it does) we should both wear it down more. It looks great.
Love the vlogs by the way, it is nice to have stuff in common with someone else so far away!!
I absolutely emphasize with you and can't agree more with your view on how you are dealing with OCD. I do agree people are using the "term" wrong. I do sometimes as well it is hard for me to know the difference between my Perfectionism and my OCD sometimes because they're battling each other most days back to back.
I honestly don't think people really know how hard it is, there are all kinds of different forms of OCD I personally think nothing is cut and dry.
I don't have OCD like that particularly. I will say there are certain mannerisms I do that I do on a daily basis or even multiple times a day that I don't realize sometimes. Honestly could be paranoia?
- Having to check the shower ( I have a tub with a curtain) every time before I have to use the toilet. I feel if I don't I'm worried someone will come out and either kill me or sit in there and watch me. I even have to check it multiple times because my brain keeps telling me to "check it, you haven't checked it yet", sort of thing. So I honestly don't think you're crazy. The list obviously goes on, but that is one of my biggest ones that I fight my brain over.
I can so relate, I do these same things, kind of like mini bets in my mind, if I can get it done in this way, it will avoid this catastrophe. I have been this way since my mid 20s and it sucks.
LOVE LOVE LOVE Neenish Tarts, the pink and white ones are the best
I have OCPD, which is obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is the compulsive need for certain patterns, behaviours, and organizational/cleanliness rituals. Usually it’s not accompanied with the intrusive “if I don’t do this, this bad thing will happen”, but it can be. OCPD is the obsessive compulsive need to do everything in a certain order or way. For example, I can only eat foods that do not touch, I have to eat one food at a time, and can only eat bites/foods of relatively same size, two at a time, and if my system is messed up or I miss something or someone disrupts (eats) my system I have a breakdown and cannot finish eating. There’s other things, like if someone moves my very specifically organized belongings, I have a complete mental breakdown, and stuff like that.
OCD is no joke, i had ocd tendencies when i was younger and even that was absolutely draining, can't imagine dealing with full blown OCD on top of all your other issues. I think your brave for sharing and I hope it gets better for you 💖💖💖
I’m happy you have someone who helps and loves you 💗
try using the curly girl method for your hair! It might help with the frizziness... i have wavy/curly hair, and even though I have a ton of hair, it is somewhat fine (rather than being coarse like most girls with curly hair) so i have to be careful about what products I use, but i've been trying a new routine and its been working for enhancing my curls/reducing frizz! I wash my hair with cold/lukewarm water, flip It upside down and put conditioner through It avoiding the roots, and then comb my hair (still upside down) while the conditioner is still in It, rinse It out with cold water (upside-down), comb through again, wrap It in a microfiber towel for a while, use a frizz reducing curly hair mousse from Devacurl, and dry with a diffuser on cold. i rlly suggest giving It a try/researching more on the curly girl method!
Hey Amy I recently subscribed to you and it’s so amazing to have a great girl relate to, I totally understand your OCD thank you for sharing. In a way I wish my OCD manifested in cleaning, but my last terrible episode was when me and my boyfriend moved into our new apartment and I stayed up for hours making sure the door locked properly.
I apologize a few vlogs back for using the term OCD when I do not actually suffer from it. I do tend to use the term when I just really like things done a certain way or in a certain place. I'm glad you have been getting help for this so you can not have these thought driven compulsions. Love you girl!!! We are all here for you!!! Tom picking your dry skin off in the last vlog and you looking up Tom's nose is really true love. I've never heard of a neenish tart before. Are they a chocolate biscuit or something similar? Tom doesn't look like he fits in your car very well. It is just like when my 6'2 husband squeezes inside my coupe. Perhaps Tom is an undercover agent pretending to be a Brit?
I just went to my counselor about a specific phobia I have (emetophobia). It's hard to deal with in everyday life. I was crying and shaking etc. even talking about it. It came about from a traumatic experience in my childhood, which was also hard to deal with because I knew that I had this experience, but I didn't know that it was traumatic or that it caused my emetophobia. We're working on it, but there's a long road ahead.
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Ugh. I have weird things like that too. Mine are more like "I have to click exactly half-way up the screen, or "I have to touch the door knob, or something might happen to my mom" etc. Shit, maybe I have OCD.
Thank you for opening up to us though. I think I understand. I know it has to be tough.
Please take care,
Floyd
That has got to suck! But I'm glad you are getting help and hopefully it gets easier to deal with for you. ❣🙂❣