6 Beliefs that Are Secretly Making You Unhappy

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  • čas přidán 14. 06. 2024
  • You might often wonder to yourself "why am I unhappy? Things in my life seem okay, so what's going on?" There are things that your brain is doing without you being aware of it that are making you unhappy, and here we're going to talk about the 6 main ones. This talk goes deeper into our psyche, so be sure to stay tuned till the end to get some deep shifts.
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    #happiness #cbt #feelinggood

Komentáře • 244

  • @yourcalmplace
    @yourcalmplace Před 3 lety +140

    - I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨

  • @dkdawe1
    @dkdawe1 Před 3 lety +54

    “Pain is inevitable... suffering is optional”... that right there!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +3

    You’re right Julia the antidote to anxiety is trust.

  • @knowledgeseeker4116
    @knowledgeseeker4116 Před měsícem +1

    😮 The sad and unfortunate story about the cancer patient will change my life philosophy moving forward….I say unfortunate but his mindset is one of the greatest gift to us…. I’m stopping with the entitlement mindset of less to no pain and mostly pleasure. AS A HUMAN BEING pain and the unfortunate times are part of the life arrangement so when they happen and they will I am blessed and grateful to be participating and be a part of life 🤗🙏🏿 I’m so grateful ☺️

  • @psycheread3258
    @psycheread3258 Před 3 lety +19

    My stepfather used to say all the time to "Let go and let God" It has helped, and so has "Have the courage to change the things you can." from the Serenity Prayer. Julia's way of breaking things down and explaining things in different ways is comforting and inspiring.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety +1

      so glad you found this helpful - and yes, I love the Serenity Prayer too -it's really powerful.

  • @latrecelockett4930
    @latrecelockett4930 Před 3 lety +19

    These videos are amazing self-development thank you for them being free because I would not be able to pay for them your a real deal the best therapist I have ever listened too

  • @pierh7685
    @pierh7685 Před 3 lety +12

    Am I the only one who gets excited when her videos are longer than usual? 😂
    The level of knowledge and self awareness I’ve received from watching this one time, does not compare to what I’ve unlocked the second time. I needed this message and I’m so thankful to you, for sharing your time with us and teaching us how to activate that incredible versions of ourselves. You’ve changed my life and continue to do so. Thank you thank you thank you.

  • @admirbarucija2018
    @admirbarucija2018 Před 3 lety +30

    I’m proud of myself for mostly resolving this issue, self-limiting beliefs can be really difficult to get away from!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Pain is inevitable Julia you’re right.

  • @Dundasdavid
    @Dundasdavid Před 3 lety +16

    This is my first exposure to Julia - it won't be my last.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety

      Really glad you're here David - welcome!

    • @ladybaabaa3294
      @ladybaabaa3294 Před 3 lety

      Julia's fantastic! I only found her more recently and she's one of only 3 mental health professionals on here that can actually make me cry. lol. That may sound bad, but it's really not! If I cry, it's because the words and concepts are finally getting through! 💞

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    You don’t have full control Julia you’re absolutely right.

  • @rebeccajones9757
    @rebeccajones9757 Před 3 lety +9

    I struggled with this when I was dealing with chronic illness. I didn't know if I could make plans or not. I hated to cancel because I didn't feel good. So, at some point, I had to decide to make plans and assume that I would be fine. I did make accommodations like looser clothing, or shorter trips, but I had to make plans for something! Giving up making plans really sucks the joy out of my life.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety +1

      I agree. Make the plans - hope for the best and let yourself feel good in the anticipation.

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Life doesn’t always have to be comfortable Julia right on.

  • @lindafuhrman3041
    @lindafuhrman3041 Před 3 lety +19

    Wow, you nailed it! Covid literally shook every ounce of our comfort and control. Having you to listen to has been enormously helpful. Thank you.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety +4

      Grateful to have you here Linda - it's been one heck of a year, hasn't it?

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    We should think responsible Julia you’re right.

  • @lynnscorner6587
    @lynnscorner6587 Před 3 lety +22

    I so look forward to your videos , it seems like every time you put out a video I’m dealing with a lot of those issues. This really helped me this morning, just not letting my thoughts overpower me.I am guilty of
    Trying to control everything that comes my way and always comparing my life to others. I know I have to get control of these issues or I’m gonna miss out on so many amazing things.
    thank you for your content it really helps😌

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety +5

      No guilt Lynn - just awareness and then doing the work toward something different.
      Really glad you're here.

  • @antonboludo8886
    @antonboludo8886 Před 3 lety +5

    26:20 - Undo and re-build. This is the core of self-transformation.

  • @wg8290
    @wg8290 Před 3 lety +4

    You’re the counselor I never knew I needed!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Nothing is ever certain Julia.

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Never assume anything Julia.❤

  • @antonboludo8886
    @antonboludo8886 Před 3 lety +12

    Another great video. Many thanks to you.
    "A belief is not an idea that the mind possesses, a belief is an idea that possesses the mind.".

  • @misskankalin
    @misskankalin Před 3 lety +6

    This video was very much needed! For a very long time (up until now actually) I thought I had to reach that certain point in my life where everything is fine. I was living in an illusion which made me feel empty most of the time. So your message was eye-opening. Thank you!

    • @mikeaf390
      @mikeaf390 Před 3 lety

      I totally understand....I been living the same way....man is it draining and difficult.

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci

    You’re absolutely right Julia life is full of ups and downs.

  • @aurinkobay7118
    @aurinkobay7118 Před 3 lety +3

    why am I crying (sadness) right now?? Thank you Julia :)

  • @annel.bo.briggs
    @annel.bo.briggs Před 2 lety +2

    I never realize soon enough that my thoughts are getting out of control so I can stop doing it in time, before I start losing sleep 🙄

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Life isn’t always wine and roses Julia.❤

  • @teresapatrick742
    @teresapatrick742 Před 3 lety +1

    As usual, Julia hits the nail on the head! The part about control is spot on and something I deal with every day.

  • @kaentboy5142
    @kaentboy5142 Před 3 lety +5

    You’re a saviour, Julia. Thank you for this frank assessment of life. Definitely leading to several mindset shifts for me 😎🦾

  • @treearoha
    @treearoha Před 3 lety +1

    I love listening to you because of how passionate you are when you share your knowledge. Thankyou for all the help you've given me when I've needed it.

  • @bethgregory5202
    @bethgregory5202 Před 3 lety +4

    This really hit home with me this morning! I have so many self limiting beliefs! I'm going to start working on this beginning today! Thank you for your insight!🥰🙏

  • @davidvitale9338
    @davidvitale9338 Před 3 lety +3

    Hi Julia - I know you’re in Canada and I’m in the States, but I still want to refer to you as a National Treasure. What you just described is so accurate and usable, once again, it’s life changing.
    Thank you 🙏

  • @uglycasanova4240
    @uglycasanova4240 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you!!! Wonderful message.

  • @castlemein5765
    @castlemein5765 Před 3 lety +3

    Two years ago, I had myself checked up at a hospital for any complications, because I felt like there's something wrong going on with me, only to find out that there never was any complications other than anxiety. It was triggered one night, a few weeks before it continued to get worse, it was the first time I've experienced fear in a way that it felt like I was in extreme danger even tho everything is fine and well. The doctor told me, "Happiness is a choice", and never did I really understand it until I watched your video. I let myself suffer for too long, always looking for a cause or something to blame, for why I suddenly got anxiety disorder, even tho I'm already told that anxiety runs in my family. But I always knew, that it was me making it worse. Two years, and I'm still struggling with it, no job, dealt with numerous problems along with existential crisis, burnout, depression, and now, the ongoing pandemic. I'm 23 years old and I felt like my life already ended when I graduated from college. I keep telling myself, there was no reason for this to happen to me, I was so happy then, I was always grateful for what I had, how come it's so different now. And that's where it hit me. The only difference between now and then, is that back then I chose to be happy, I had trust in myself, I knew about life having bad days or even years of it, but always believed in myself, that I can handle it, despite the pain. Your words are just so great to hear, pain indeed is inevitable, suffering however, it's a choice, much like happiness. Thank you.

    • @kaypowell407
      @kaypowell407 Před 3 lety +1

      To me saying happiness is a choice is like saying that we have to be happy in spite of all the shit we go through, whatever it is. Some people have that nature, others do not. I feel very trapped and like an hostage

    • @rhondapelletier2141
      @rhondapelletier2141 Před 2 lety +1

      You sound just like me, but I’m SOO HAPPY, you are AWARE NOW......& NOT SUFFER for DECADES,Needlessly.... I’m NOT GIVING UP,She has really helped me..... esp THIS VIDEO.... & I actual understand what exactly she is saying❤️🙏🌿,

    • @castlemein5765
      @castlemein5765 Před 2 lety

      @@kaypowell407 it's not that "we have to be", it's that we can always 'choose' to be. There is such thing as a false positivity. You need to feel sad as well if you actually are going thru something. But staying there for the rest of your life, being sad, is the same as trying to stay happy despite of the bad things happening around. Allow yourself to feel stuff, but learn where and when to draw the line. Easier said than done, but better than not trying at all.

    • @castlemein5765
      @castlemein5765 Před 2 lety

      @@rhondapelletier2141 that's good to hear. Keep holding on dude, keep going.

  • @JCIK33
    @JCIK33 Před rokem +1

    Thank you❤ what your grandad said was powerful. He was a saint

  • @yoramalon5273
    @yoramalon5273 Před 3 lety +2

    Julia kristina is the only person i know, that gets to me. Thank you for this video.
    If you think you win, you win. If you think you lost, you already lost.
    I admit to picking at people's minds/psych. Nasty habit. Cant help it.
    Worse, i use a speakcard.
    I might be transpassing on private personal human domain.

  • @keithmuller223
    @keithmuller223 Před 3 lety +1

    Brilliant ...one of the very best lectures on this subject... going to re watch and note these bullet points with notes on personal experiences relating to each..... thank you so much J you are such a great inspiration ... simplicity at it's very best ...x

  • @tiarajessy9491
    @tiarajessy9491 Před 3 lety +13

    Thankyou so much for talking about suffering with uncertainty,it helped me a lot......I was really feeling down because I felt like I had so many questions unanswered and that made me slow down on my life and be negative and was feeling stuck. What u said made me feel better because...Yes! We don't really need to know everything to be fine and confident❤️lysm

  • @waynehendrix4806
    @waynehendrix4806 Před 3 lety +2

    Most of my unhappiness comes from those that are unhappy in their own lives, interrupting my bubble.
    Without outside influences, I'm happy as a pig in ... stuff.
    Hawaii is awesome. Hope you get to Maui. Good stuff.

  • @raiderlove5923
    @raiderlove5923 Před 3 lety +2

    This is another great video. I am always having trouble believing I am good enough. I think this stems from always being told when I was growing up that I will never amount to anything.

    • @rhondapelletier2141
      @rhondapelletier2141 Před 2 lety +1

      It was a LIE...... Forgive them.... ( don’t forget, but FORGIVE❤️🙏🌿, it will HEAL YOU)......you are AMAZING & are part of All of Us, conscious

    • @raiderlove5923
      @raiderlove5923 Před 2 lety

      @@rhondapelletier2141 thank you for your insight and help to understand.

  • @preethishukla8403
    @preethishukla8403 Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you Julia for this video. I needed it

  • @wisdomoftheyogis1599
    @wisdomoftheyogis1599 Před 3 lety +1

    Hi Julia, just wanted to say I really like your videos and learn a lot from them. You have an amazing presentation style that is easy to listen to, and simplifies complicated aspects of psychology for novice listeners. Keep up the good work and Hakuna Matata!

  • @fathamaak1776
    @fathamaak1776 Před 3 lety +3

    This was really good to hear. It makes me feel as though my anxiety is normal and that it can in fact be resolved with shifting my perspective. It is good to hear a professional say this and I feel as though I am going to be better equipped to cope with my thoughts and life itself when practicing so many of these suggestions.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety +2

      Great to hear! Good for you for investing in your mental wellbeing.

  • @daisylah5882
    @daisylah5882 Před 3 lety

    Thank you. This is exactly the video I needed. And I’ll probably rewatch this anytime I need it

  • @floalejandroguillermoorego4824

    Thank you...needed this.

  • @mamabear5488
    @mamabear5488 Před 3 lety +2

    Perfect video! Ty so much💞We love watching you!💗🙏

  • @garylouiehomes
    @garylouiehomes Před 3 lety +1

    Really need this video this week. Thank you!

  • @jmm639
    @jmm639 Před 3 lety +1

    You help me look and things that I WOULD NEVER know or think about before. Definitely exercises my conscious mind.

  • @captaindan1000
    @captaindan1000 Před 3 lety +1

    The comparing one really speaks to me. I know exactly what parts of my life I want improved. So when I see anyone who is abundant where I feel deficient, it's going to be something I have to deal with.

  • @emmaxu2001
    @emmaxu2001 Před 3 lety

    Oh my gosh, this just ticked all of my boxes! I'm doing everything you've talked about.

  • @JDMUWFGIS
    @JDMUWFGIS Před 3 lety +12

    Holy macaroni. I needed to hear this to start my day! Thanks, Julia

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Bad things do happen whether we like it or not.

  • @lttlod1
    @lttlod1 Před 3 lety +2

    Oh geez, I've got all of these very strongly I thought you were reading my mind. Going to need to re-watch this several times. I think I grew up with so much death around me, financial uncertainty, and beliefs about myself and relationships that have just been reinforced by others over the years. Changing these deep seeded beliefs is difficult. I like how you said that I can think the thoughts that create good feelings. I can just choose that because I want to. I'm going to try and remember that!

  • @MissDoreen
    @MissDoreen Před 3 lety

    Thanks Julia 😊 I am listening to the video right now on CZcams. Much appreciation and respect! I hope you have a lovely day 💗 ☺🤙

  • @camzvidad121
    @camzvidad121 Před 2 lety

    These videos are REALLY amazing! thank you!

  • @ron_r
    @ron_r Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you so much for this video!!🧡💛💚💙💜 I'll try to implement these thoughts to myself especially focusing on the good and avoid thinking everything will go wrong... i'll try to get the most of my 40%. Thanks again for this video Julia and i hope you have fun in Hawaii💗 (I clicked the like of course)

  • @BB-ux5wd
    @BB-ux5wd Před 3 lety +2

    Wow you are a gem . Thank you for all that you give to the world.

  • @tonycoleman3531
    @tonycoleman3531 Před 3 lety

    Great video! Just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!

  • @johnziegler9974
    @johnziegler9974 Před 2 lety

    Wonderful video!
    This is so me. Definitely going to watch this several times & work on myself.
    Thank you!

  • @aida1128
    @aida1128 Před rokem

    Thanks so much for the information, its so great to hear you say you want to help the world be a little better.

  • @RightYouAre
    @RightYouAre Před 2 lety +1

    Incredible wise words. Listening over and over to retain these nuggets of wisdom, thank you.

  • @user-hu9sb7cv8y
    @user-hu9sb7cv8y Před 3 lety

    Thank you, Julia Christina! Very helpful 👍🙏❤️🌍

  • @kathleen791
    @kathleen791 Před 3 lety

    Wow! I do all of this at certain times. Thank you for making this video. This is one video that I can and will play over and over❤

  • @knz2731
    @knz2731 Před 3 lety

    Really appreciate all your videos!! Very relevant
    Thank you 😊

  • @angelisland22
    @angelisland22 Před 3 lety +1

    Really helpful, thank you Julia :)

  • @positive78263
    @positive78263 Před rokem +1

    Love your videos!

  • @margaretelmajed5265
    @margaretelmajed5265 Před 3 lety +1

    Wise words, thank you.

  • @fayem1336
    @fayem1336 Před 3 lety +3

    Great message! I need to change my habit of worrying about my adult children every day!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety

      It's tough when you want those you love to be safe, but the worrying is only taking away from your happiness, and not helping your children stay safe. What could you do instead of worrying?

  • @jamesw.1306
    @jamesw.1306 Před rokem +1

    This video answered a lot of “mysteries” I had as to why it is challenging at times to find happiness and contentment in everyday living.

    • @knowledgeseeker4116
      @knowledgeseeker4116 Před měsícem

      Good to hear! Yeah….The good comes with the bad and this video reminded me of this….we can’t rip December (winter) off the calendar and just keep spring as they both are inseparable but in December we can get wiser, stronger and better…..Even when we can’t overcome challenges we can at least get a little bit better and smarter and knowledgeable 😊

  • @sabineskarratt395
    @sabineskarratt395 Před 3 měsíci

    Julia - you are my go to for personal development/ therapy advice ❤ Thank you! x

  • @alisonallsopp8878
    @alisonallsopp8878 Před 3 lety

    You are so amazing I relate everything you say is definitely how I think. Struggle to do the points made in this video.
    Thankyou for sharing your experiences to firstly help me but also the thousands of other people. You are an inspiration

  • @natbobat4816
    @natbobat4816 Před 3 lety

    Thank you Julia, as always, I take so much from your videos.

  • @user-ok8mr6qz7h
    @user-ok8mr6qz7h Před 2 měsíci

    Excellent understanding of our thoughts and how they affect us thanks

  • @Xyz-wy5zf
    @Xyz-wy5zf Před 2 lety

    The fact that I have been doing literally of these things recently makes sense as to why I feel so anxious and unhappy
    Thanku so much Julia you are really helping me understand my life much better
    I always feel good when I listen to a video of yours ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

  • @katherinesmith9194
    @katherinesmith9194 Před 27 dny

    Great talk- very pertinent to me!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Nothing is ever perfect.

  • @popsiclebloodbarf
    @popsiclebloodbarf Před 2 dny

    Thank you for doing this. I love your videos and the help you provide

  • @finest972
    @finest972 Před 2 lety +1

    All of these are me, especially the control & anxiety. I’m working on it. Love your videos! Thanks for your tips :)

  • @MariaSantos-gm7ps
    @MariaSantos-gm7ps Před 3 lety

    Thanks Julia Kristina.

  • @AlilishSuki
    @AlilishSuki Před 3 lety +1

    That first one hit anyone else so hard. I literally put this on pre-panic attack. As soon I started feeling uncomfortable and a little overwhelmed.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před 3 lety +1

      did you get curious about what came up for you with that first one?

  • @razmatazzdt
    @razmatazzdt Před rokem

    Love your videos. Have really helped

  • @brucepauline5675
    @brucepauline5675 Před 2 lety

    Excellent discussion , sage advice would be a Happier World if more people heeded these 6 simple guidelines.Thank You Julia !!!!!!

  • @michelecoe5925
    @michelecoe5925 Před 2 lety

    Sending this to All my friends!!! Super informative!!!

  • @thenebraskan6977
    @thenebraskan6977 Před 2 lety

    Thanks for the awesome video JULIA ! You are right about impermanence, everything is temporary. According to Buddhist philosophy everything is impermanent. 1. Everything that is born is impermanent and bound to die. 2. Everything that is joined is impermanent and bound to come apart. 3. Everything that is stored is impermanent and bound to run out. 4. Everything that is built is impermanent and bound to collapse. Everything that goes up is impermanent and bound to come . I got a copy of your new book, it is absolutely wonderful. Thanks fo being you.

  • @alizaghimire743
    @alizaghimire743 Před 3 lety

    I love listening to you and learning .thankyou

  • @suzeb7005
    @suzeb7005 Před 3 lety

    Thank you Julia, i needed to hear this today 😉🙏😊
    Shout out to you from WA🇦🇺

  • @Nurse4Life255
    @Nurse4Life255 Před rokem

    Thanks for your videos 😊

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 5 měsíci +1

    No one has full control.

  • @pure-pisces9470
    @pure-pisces9470 Před 3 lety +1

    Thankyou! 💕

  • @thelaughingfoxx
    @thelaughingfoxx Před 3 lety +2

    This too shall pass 🙏❤️

  • @utah6664
    @utah6664 Před rokem

    Her voice is really relaxing, for some reason. Sometimes I put her playlists on repeat and fall asleep.

  • @zsuzsaholmes8019
    @zsuzsaholmes8019 Před 3 lety

    THANK YOU !!!

  • @user-gz5mx2nd5p
    @user-gz5mx2nd5p Před rokem

    Great topic

  • @sorenkierkegaard3344
    @sorenkierkegaard3344 Před 3 lety +2

    I just love everything about you and your videos. Watching you speak is itself healing. You tackle subjects that have touched me on a very deep level, since I do suffer from a lot of what you talk about in your videos. I'm an Egyptian by the way, and I am glad to be able to connect to your ideas by watching your invaluable content. You know, what you say about what happens to people in America becomes double fold - or even triple fold- in the case of someone like me having to live in a Middle Eastern and a third world country. You see Egypt is really rising from a very deep slumber. And it is becoming a promising country in many respects, but I believe I will not be even alive to see radical changes ( of the nature that would really restore my faith and hope in a better future) take place, because although the country is changing rapidly for the better, I happen to be already 42. Sorry for rambling a bit.

  • @Madalania
    @Madalania Před rokem +1

    Thank you, Julia. I already recognized my struggle in just the first belief. IAlways thinking that one day I will get to the point where everything is finally easy and good and I have "resolved" all my (perceived) problems is keeping me unhappy, and not able to enjoy a lot of things.
    But on a side note: how you talked about the pandemic and "not having freedom" made it sound like you saw the measures and restrictions just as "freedoms being taken away" and disregard that they actually save lives, and that maybe they were there for a reason, other than preventing you from travel and people from going to mass events and consuming...
    I am sure this is not how you intended it to come across, but with so many anti science/anti vaxx/denial BS being spread, it matters how we talk about attempts to control the spread of disease...just my humble opnion.

  • @jafrinkhan8172
    @jafrinkhan8172 Před 3 lety

    You're so right I love your videos

  • @terriwhalen7988
    @terriwhalen7988 Před 3 lety

    Hello there! Thank you!

  • @janinegraff8694
    @janinegraff8694 Před 3 lety

    Good job. Keep it up.

  • @chrisdigitalartist
    @chrisdigitalartist Před 3 lety

    Another timely video, coach! 💕🤗 #SeniorShifter #Shifter

  • @randomrachael420
    @randomrachael420 Před 3 lety +4

    10:18 The only thing constant is change :)

  • @syalalaputri1802
    @syalalaputri1802 Před 3 lety +1

    This is validating