Things I HATE about being a KOREAN guy
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- čas přidán 25. 10. 2021
- Everyone has different experiences and opinions :)
00:22 1. Going to the army
02:26 2. Being forced to study
03:57 3. Having the pressure to have nice cars and houses
06:11 4. Pressure of paying for everything when you're the oldest
06:50 5. Being judged for my looks
07:48 6. Being compared to a Kpop star or kdrama actor all the time.
09:21. 7. Being told that I'm not a real man when I don't want to drink or go to hostess bars
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#thingsIhateaboutbeingkorean #korea #korealife #whyIhatekorea #korean #livinginkorea #lifeinkorea #koreanvlog
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sorry the lighting kept changing 🥲 technology is really not a friend to me …
Honestly, didn't notice any lighting issues. It's normal for edited videos with natural lighting to change.
Haha Never mind….
I didn't realize it..haha..really pressure being korean😥
Oh it's okay!! 😊👍
It's ok u tried your best 😁
"I really like when everyone talks about the truth, even if they are good or bad, I really respect them.
sometimes we need to face the bad sides to overcome it :)
it builds trust in the end
@@ThizisDanny so true😉😅
Loved your video. Congratulations 👏👏👏
Honesty is best.
not many asian people say what bothers them or their dislikes. it is good to see you express yourself.
Yes these are quite common in Asian countries and that is just.....😞
I think we need to start facing the negative aspect of our culture/country/life to make real changes or learn if we are wrong about them
@@Beast_Bits Nooo... At least not in my country
@@incognito__00 ohh I see btw where are you from?
@@ThizisDanny Absolutely brother! rather than talking about real problems like these and also oppression in different countries faced by ppl especially due to their religion, they are talking about other gibberish. Are these problems not worth to be focused on than those issues they are focusing on currently? You know what I mean☹️💔
You are 100% CORRECT!!
I am Korean and I live in the States!
I was adopted in the States but married a Korean guy and there were so many rules and customs that I hated!
There we so much pressure from his family to me!
I used to have a lot of Korean friends in MN and all they did was compare to each other and expected me to live up to their standards being Korean!
I let all those Korean friends go in my life, I can’t stand being compared constantly to other Koreans!!
They live a fake life!!
I am happy being myself now!!!
Thanks for revealing the truth about Korans, it’s spot on!!!
*Koreans
First, WELL DONE! With KPop and KDramas so popular now, it is important to hear the truths of the REAL-life as a Korean. Vanity should have its place and living a life with excessive stress is not healthy for anyone. We are born with different gifts and abilities so this should be embraced. Stop the STIGMA!!! Well done with this video!
Dan provided information is so "On Point" 👍👍👍👍👍
1. mandatory Army service
2. forced to study instead of exploring your own interests
3. pressure to impress others with your possessions
4. pressure to pay if you are the oldest
5. being judged for your physical appearance
6. being compared to a celebrity
7. pressure to drink alcohol and/or go to hostess bars
I'm listening.. These are interesting, really I would like to hear some facts about others culture
Very lucky qif you have ypur own free will in choosing a carreer of your own.
Really ? The Army is mandatory? Waw this is sad and very shocking to me .
Materialistic Standards.
@@Anne_Myriam_ well S.K. ist not the only country also it is needed. The country is simple very small and has some countries around them who might be a real threat one day. They just have to be prepared.
7) The whole drinking culture, in general, bugs me about Korea. I've never really enjoyed drinking and although I did it socially with friends in my late teens and young adults, it now bothers me when I'm with friends who go "just have one drink". Like, if I don't want to drink, respect it. I've always told my friends, "look, I don't drink or smoke weed and if you want to do that, it's fine, but respect my choices and don't do it around me or pressure me".
This doesn't mean I don't drink at all, but the point is that it's MY CHOICE and it doesn't determine who I am as an individual. Just because I don't party or drink, doesn't mean I'm "NO FUN". Just because a guy doesn't enjoy going to a strip club, hostess bar, or whatever overly masculine thing doesn't mean they "AREN'T MEN".
On the flip side... I also don't think that because people ENJOY partying and drinking there is something "bad" about them. We all enjoy different things. Respect each other's choices.
I mean I like drinking but people should know how to take no for an answer and also not shame people for not doing shameful things haha...
@@ThizisDanny Exactly. Whatever your beliefs and choices, people should respect them even if they don't agree.
@Krystal109 you're the only one who understands your self better
@@claudinesengwayo8088 thanks?
That's good, you stand up for yourself. I've dated Korean men, both from S. Korea and American-born Korean. I noticed a small difference, I'm a member of a Korean church here and although most of the members have been here for a long time, some are only recently been here for less than 10 years. But they are all wonderful people. I grew up around Asians, so I'm familiar with the many different cultural values. I had one BF who was born in Pusan and he was here to go to school to learn how to work on his own airplane, his ideals concerning things were a bit different, but he didn't drink alcohol, nor smoked anything, he was allergic to soy as I am, and he had an allergy to seafood. But his friends that were here also going to school would try to tease him about not drinking and he would simply tell them, that he has already told them that he doesn't drink, and no matter what they said would force him to take a drink. Finally, after a while, they gave up. I asked him once why and he told me and I was okay with it because I didn't drink either, I did when I was younger in the military. He would tell me about how men would wear makeup to get better jobs and had to have the latest fashion, even if it meant they would have to eat Ramen for a few months. But, here in Oklahoma, men aren't like that, they can be whomever they want, and dress as they want. He hated having to return back to Korea. But he was the only son and his father had died and he had to return to take care of his mother and grandparents and younger sister. He begged his family to move here and he would get a bigger house for all of them, but they were scared to move here. They never visited him, the whole 4 years he was here going to school for that very reason. He finally got married due to pressure from his family and we are still friends, but he's not able to do the type of career he wanted, he had to go work at an insurance company, that he hates. He came and visited with his then-new wife when my mother died because he liked her and she liked him. The wife is very nice, she has called me a few times to ask about recipes of things he used to like to eat when he was living here. I hope that he is truly happy at least with his family, the children are cute and his wife really loves him. She was shocked that I didn't have any ill will towards her. I understand life, so I was okay with it and I wished them both true love and happiness for a lifetime.
So, I can see where you are coming from, you just continue to stand up for yourself, and don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to do. If it doesn't feel right, back away from it or that person.
Wow that’s a lot you typed
This story makes me feel so sad
So sad but you so brave... Thanks for sharing your story. Whish you the best Lisa
Thanks for sharing. it's nice sometimes to hear the truths and not embellish
what we see in series
@@jollyjellybelly why do you feel sad, that's how life is sometimes. You have to learn to adjust with it or it will drive you crazy. I've learned not to allow things to consume my life. It's not easy, but it helps you to grow stronger mentally. Plus I have a strong faith in God. If He wants something to happen, nothing can stop it. So, I may not have the love of my life right now. That just means that he's not ready for me, yet; whomever he is.
When I visited Korea I met one of my friend’s friend who lives there. When we first met I complimented and called her beautiful (bc she was) and she instantly said “omg no I’m so fat” and I promise you she was not bigger than a size small. I felt almost ashamed of myself for a split second bc we have similar bodies but snapped out of it quickly. I’ve never been one to dislike my body or really anything about myself so that moment was so bizarre for me. I also went to the club one day and a group of drunk Korean girls kept squeezing my arm and saying I was so healthy haha I was like damn! 😂 I was glad to be able to return to America for once, where people don’t care too much about these kinds of things.
I love how your accent goes from Korean to British to Straight American all in one sentence! Enchanting...
That's why he sounds funny to me. Good ear.
i can hear some aussie accent too!
💀🤣
I really love the way he speaks english, it might sound weird but to me he has a perfect pronunciation, I wish all english spokers speak like him. I, m from Spain. I have an intermedium english level, so, many times I don't get all the words in a sentence, but I do understand every word from him. It's amazing. Some day I wish to speak just like him
Where’s he from?
My mom is Korean. She is 91. She came here to the US in 1963. Korea today drives her crazy. She thinks everyone has become so shallow. It really bothers her a lot. As far as the skin care regime. It amazes me that men have better skin care regimes than most women in the US. I don’t drink at all so I don’t understand the whole drinking culture.
My skincare: Wash with washcloth and water, then sometimes slap on a moisturizer. 😆
I don't drink nor does my husband, just never saw the draw...🤷🏻♀️
She is correct. No one has any individuality in Korea.
@@JL-yt5hy it seems that they want to continue to remain a homogenous society rather than allowing their citizens to become individuals.
When you really look at it, this is how the korean society (and government also) controls their citizens. Imo, the only way to change this mindset is for the younger generation(s) to change these cultural thoughts. I really like how their culture respects and honors their elderly. I have always respected my parents even when my friends would kid me about how I addressed my parents (saying sir and maam). Korean society also needs to embrace other ethnicities not just in their kpop artists finding appeal of other cultures clothing, dance, etc, but to make it appealing for other ethnicities to want to visit and/or accept the korean culture.
Awwww. I was looking for this type of comment. Today's koren culture is 💩
Wow and good 🙌 blessings for your mum, mine passed @85yrs and my dad @ 90yrs, cherish 😍 🥰 them while you have them, I still ❤ and miss my parents but was SO happy that I was born to them.
I find Korean romcoms fantastic. The no-rush, get-to-know-each-other thing is really well done. So much so, that a kiss is a huge deal and very exciting. I really appreciate the character development as well. And the actors are so pretty.
One of the most valuable lesson I've learnt in life is not to care about what people think. I can see that Koreans still have a lot to learn in that matter. Great video, greetings from Poland!
Korea has had such a surge of attention in the past few years due to k wave. It must be so difficult to deal with all the unrealistic expectations from fans whose knowledge is based soley on k drama presentations. Thank you for speaking so openly about this. Best wishes. 🙂
K wave…….BTS.
Because K Wave has been built on LIE. Image making objective. Please don’t misunderstand that I hate Korea. I have total respect for SK. I just point the FACT. That is all.
@@jomontanee truth is truth my friend, there is no shame, fear or disrespect in it. So thumbs up
@@jomontanee while you aren't wrong, wouldn't call it a lie because that implies that it's somehow specific to Korea when mainstream movies and tv shows always cast good-looking people for the best representation somehow. That's the case with most media and entertainment except for a few raw and authentic ones. So ofcourse kdramas are gonna be over the top, in comparison, so are Indian daily soaps , they are completely inaccurate and over the top but that's just the entertainment that ppl seem to be consuming. So that's common in entertainment alltogether. So then the unrealistic expectations come from movies and tv shows all together, not exclusively Korea cuz the beauty standards are unrealistic and over the top everywhere. You get me ??
@@sakshinaresh8114 I would split the difference between you two, because as far as I know the Korean government is pretty heavy handed in interfering in the pop culture sphere to actively promote an image and sell it.
The material isnt different, the kinds of people who play in it are equally as attractive and follow social etiquette, but with SK it at least appears to have a more cynical aspect of the government trying to show the world "this is who we are."
However all of that is based on my very non credentialed opinion.
Just the fact that you have the courage to speak your mind and opinions, makes you a man! So never completely loose yourself, continue to stay strong and be a great positive example!
I don’t know if it’s just me but I really respect this guy
As an Australian it's crazy to hear about these social expectations. I'm so used to Aussies not caring about what car, social position, or how much money you have, we have such a relaxed culture; of course there are some people in Australia that aren't like that, but mostly we care about how you treat other people, and your personality. I generally don't care about judgment and pressures from society for this reason, but I could understand If I grew up in a culture that was, It would be tough to try and break free from that and the stereotypes that proceed. This video was an eye opener for sure
Love your comments, Australian’s have a balanced outlook on life and aren’t into fake cultural and societal experiences. Most of Our Men are not into narcissistic behaviours thank goodness. I hope DAN doesn’t get hate from being honest in this video. Well said Emma and Well Done Dan.💙🐨
Woww that's great, I never knew Australia is this much better in these things
Same here in New Zealand. The pressures hes talking about, I've never even considered. All I know is that in my circles if all you ever considered is what he's talking about, people would think you're rather shallow.
@Emma Purcell - in Australia, you're just expected to drink alcohol like a bogan.
Yeah another Aussie here 🙋🏻♀️ That's exactly right. We just don't care that much about those things (most people anyway) and most people think that the ones that do are shallow! And we'll likely call it out and judge you for being superficial and urr 'compensating' with your fancy car etc.
Compared to so many other countries we are relaxed and easy-going. Having said that, of course we study hard, work hard, care about it and do our best. But who you are as a person, what you're good at, what your unique contribution is that you bring to the world is far more important.
Oh and we're pretty good at drinking and partying too lol 😂
I have never been in Korea but just by watching Kdramas I already realized all the issues you pinpointed. Especially the drinking culture is really bad and needs to change. The age hierarchy is the second weird thing to me. I understand that it very important part of the culture but still, being forced to do stuff just because of your age is a huge factor why people are depressed, get bullied and increase the suicide rate and all other mental problems that are still tabu to talk about openly in Korea. But I happy to see visible changes for better in the past 2-3 years especially.
I live in Australia and watch K Dramas on TV, I had realised most of what you are talking about, I find it sad that it's a pretty shallow 😢 I feel if more people were honest like this bloke, eventually this will bring change for the better, I do appreciate the respect Koreans show their elders, I do believe that living to appreciate yourself without falling for the pressure of others, this shows an inner strength 💪 you have, use it wisely and well. Good luck 👍 💓
Drinking culture is crazy in India too!
The age hierarchy is the only thing that makes sense to me. I feel like that's why all the young ones have no guidance or respect. They're no guidelines of respect.
@@aljohnson2838 I agree but only to some extend, because this can be abused in many ways which increase Toxicity in people and also decrease the mental state of the victims. Age should not make one slave to another. This is not respect this is abuse of power. The understanding for respect in general is the problem there. While the lack of any is the problem of the West.
@@serafima2 yeah the messed up people always mess everything up.
I just recently became interested in K-POP and Korean shows on Netflix. It made me curious about ‘real life’ in Korea. Thanks for providing your perspective. I love learning about other cultures and your opinions seem to be very reasonable to me. I look forward to learning more through you and your videos. Good luck!
Being pressured to drink and engage in toxic masculinity is still very prevalent in many parts of the world 😐
It's good to see when people don't want to take part in the toxic bits of society. I hope more people can just be themselves 🌻
I'm glad that the younger generations are starting to push back against toxic societal 'norms', I hope that this continues around the world. there's so much unnecessary pressure to be 'successful' that it's ruining people....just be happy and find something that you enjoy. great video, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share this list with us. keep your head up!
Yep true, I agree with you :)
Good one
Just wait 10 years later. Let me guess every body get older.
Thats a very western attitude, as in it works well once you have the luxury of such. The ott work ethic is what has lifted the economy of countries like south korea and china to the point it is now.
@@benjaminollis7621 and also have one of the highest rates of suicide, hmm wonder why.
Do NOT let anyone make you feel like you're not a "real man" for not drinking or paying for someone to keep you company. In my opinion, a real man doesn't need those things. It's fine to do them if YOU feel like it, but being pressured against your will is WRONG.
The pressure for top performance is a HUGE problem, not only for celebrities, but also for students and young people just starting out in the world. What many non-Koreans don't know is that Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, largely due to the pressure from society to BE THE BEST. It's an impossible expectation, yet so many wonderful young people choose to end their lives rather than be considered "not good enough". I'm glad that you were able to experience living outside of Korea so you can see a different way of looking at things. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF and don't allow societal expectations to make you unhappy or uncomfortable.
u are the only one who really understand us and know about redflag cuture i appricaite u so much write line on this channel
@@LNF828 I only know about this from some research I did after the heartbreaking death of SHINee's member Jonghyun. It made me so sad to find out how terribly strong the pressure is to be successful. How can children who are NOT "the best" at everything grow up confident and happy when they feel like they're always failing and disappointing their parents? You don't need to be GREAT at anything. Just try to be a GOOD PERSON.
I really love korea but I know korea through Kdrama's, I am from African and I'd like to know if racism is that much intense in S korea please, I'd like to visit Korea someday
As an Asian American, who lives in the US, I can relate and understand some of these expectations of us as developing beings. This has been nice to learn about some of these cultural differences in Korea vs the US.
I didn't realize the korean military had paid so little 😳 😅 😕
I'm sorry for your struggles, and I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing your experiences and the expectations that are placed by society there.
Just know you're doing great and that you are very much appreciated 😊
The American military is just to same, it's the sign-on bonuses that you can sometimes get, but it's not a lump sum, it's divided out, but I get what you're saying, I grew up around Asians and dated some from here in America and from overseas, and I'm a member of an all Korean church.
Love this young man for being honest and up front about how he feels. He’s adorable and I love that he isn’t a man who feels the need to please everyone. Kudos Danny 🥳🥳🥳
3) The whole "brand" name purchasing without the financial capacity to afford it from young Koreans SHOCKED me when I first saw it. For me, if I can't pay it with my debit card, I shouldn't be purchasing it. My credit card currently has $0 due and I wouldn't even own a credit card if it wasn't a huge part of building a credit score in the US.
Credit score and online shopping. And other things. The other I day I was shocked to find that the only method of payment at the parking lot I was using was a credit card.
Same here, if I can't afford it on my debit card, I save up for it or simply don't get it, I don't even have a personal credit card. I'm too old (55) to worry about impressing anyone with brandname crap anymore. My credit score is a big fat 0! (my husband's is upper 700's though).
Korea only thinks about the image it projects.If you are in trouble and have debts, they won't help you pay afterwards!
@@girlybetty35 🥺😔
@@girlybetty35 Actual facts. It's like society forces them to spend money on a certain image and then shames them when they go into debt because they can't to pay it off. It's insane.
A "real man" knows how to express himself and you did it with truth and conviction. I appreciate your grounded views of feeling pressured to live above your means, drinking and what it means to be a man. I tell my children to pursue their talents and the income will follow. It worked for them. Be proud of who you are, be resolute and not swayed by others opinions, it's your life. Be happy, be healthy sweetness.
I like you, you are really a real guy. You are very honest of what you felt. ❤️
Can you not gatekeep being a man? We really don't need to perpetuate the idea of a REAL man.
@@mq9demo how do you define 'man?'
@@oldstuff59 adult male human being
@@mq9demo perfect
I really hope more and more Koreans start to think like you! I love Korean culture for a lot of things, but there are some social rules and a lot of pressure that shouldn't be there for people to enjoy more their lives. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions about it :)
Anneyong Dan personally i think that drinking does not define a person and thats in any culture. I think just like what you're doing by taking a stand, being honest about it and not letting anyone pressure you into doing whatever you dont want to do that is what define a person. And having respect for the culture and being able fo be disagreeable to it when you feel that you need to be. And even if some people do look good sometimes as the saying go beauty can be in vain too. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Once again beauty come from inside a person and their qualities thats what define a person.this is how i personally feel so keep being yourself Dan only make changes to be a better person thats what definitely define a person too.
I'm an Indian brown girl living in south korea from last few month. In all these months I found that there's a big life difference between kdrama life or real life of korean. people judged me or sometimes gave me weird looks because of my outfit or my skin color. But still korea is beautifull 😊😊 and I appreciate that you freely describe the things in agood way.
I find it sad how many people still think kdrama world and kpop is also how it is in reality. Like sure, they're are things that are the reality because that's where inspiration comes from in the first place, but some fans greatly romanticise it at the expense or reality
@@cinny_ 네 맞습니다.
U should enjoy their weird looks and be proud of urself
네 그렇게 할게요.. 감사합니다
I’m not Korean but I can definitely relate to coming from a pressured society. Thank you for speaking your truth. That’s not easy and it took a lot of courage to do, but you did it anyways. Kudos :)
what country did you grow up in
@@levelintent I grew up in the Philippines, just a tiny bit south of Korea
I love how you said you don't have to drink to have a good time. I had the same issue when I went to a party and everyone was drinking except for me. A guy came up to me and asked me why I don't want a beer. I said I don't like beer. He acted as if it was the end of world.
Thank you for sharing and being honest with us!!!
Hello, I accidentally found your video and I am really impressed. Your oratorical skills, your ability to share your thoughts without fear of criticism. It's not fair to compare you to others. You are unique and incredible!
I wish you all the best and keep up the good work ❤
Wishes from Germany
just saw this and thank you so much for the nice words! :) I’ll keep it going 👍🙏
Oh man, you are probably only one of the two Korean guys I know that is normal besides, my awesome Korean coach. Thanks for being authentic and being yourself. Don't change for anyone else. You don't need to drink to be a real man. You are already a real man.
Awesome! Very enlightening ❤
Your honesty is refreshing,I think the recent KPOP/Kdrama boom has really raised too much expectations on korean guys that are not idols/actors and everyone wants a Korean boyfriend because they can't be with their idols😅🤦🏽♀️Hopefully the sooner people realize there's more to relationships than them being korean.But I'd say I'm glad the old stereotypes about Asian men are dying out but maybe there's new ones being formed too🙆🏽♀️ I guess more and more it's important to remain true to yourself, "I'm sure"(a very South African expression 🤣doesn't necessarily mean I'm 100% sure_side note)these changes are also somewhat affecting South Korea and the more everyone experiences different cultures the more vocal and open we become about addressing things we don't relate to with regards to old culture in our own spaces.
I think stereotypes will always exist and it’s hard to really be free of it. some will die out but new ones will appear. But we should really try to reduce these stereotypes and not let it have negative effects on people :)
@@ThizisDanny I agree, always t's going to be something new even worse.
It’s so refreshing to see a young person so comfortable in their own skin. Be ready to be a role model for young people struggling to find their own voice. Well done. Side bar bonus…you have a beautiful, calming , articulate speaking voice!
Sioux san is quite right. I am mother of two sons 24 & 27 years. Others will look to you or be envious. There is a lovely charm about you. You have strength of character this is quite charismatic. Do not underestimate yourself or give in to please the crowd .
I have never regretted shedding the superficiality of herd mentality, being honest or sticking to my guns. Being genuine has always served me well. Truth does set you free.
I must reluctantly admit , I do wish I could foster my skin to be as lovely as your own porcelain texture,Dan. It is a beautiful esthetic. But not as handsome as your personality. Strive to protect your upright thoughtful character. I'm cheering for you , fighting!
Thank you for sharing, especially #7 so much respect for you.
Thank you for sharing Dan!❤️
I currently live in Korea, a little south of Seoul and have previously lived in Busan.
It has always tickled me seeing the fixation men here have on skin care. Where I'm from, Alabama, it is rare to see men do anything with their face if they aren't already shaving.
For me, I try using various cosmetics but, really, facial hair becomes problematic for me as I need to shave daily. I naturally grow a "full beard" and I have what we call a "5 O'clock shadow where you can see my facial hair growing back by 5pm. I have to go heavy on moisturizers and skimp on toners to keep skin irritation under control.
Appearances and dieting wise it is interesting for me, in Korea I get poked or patted on the belly and told I am fat and need to lose weight for good health somewhat frequently. Meanwhile, when I was in a Mexican community I had people telling me I was very skinny. As far as my hometown, community and family my waist is well below the average width for men my height. Cultural perceptions are a funny thing.
You’re adorable and well spoken. Here in America we have some of those same societal pressures. We have a strong emphasis on individuality which is great, however it can be taken to the level of selfish indulgence bordering entitlement which looses sight of us being a whole In community causing so much division.
That was very informative thank you 🙋🏻♀️
Very interesting. Well said!
I dated a Korean guy once, he literally broke his leg (called it an accidentally) just to not go to the army! He doesn’t have to serve anymore and got free from the military service but it‘s still insane the measures he took to not go to the army and not to enlist! I can understand your point it‘s pretty unfair and annoying i can only imagine!
oh wow he went so extreme and it’s also very illegal haha if he gets caught …
@@ThizisDanny I really don’t think he will get caught he did everything pretty professional and he is in America now to study but I totally agree it‘s so messed up and his father even helped him with it🤣
The only time that you won't get to serve the army is when you are physically disabled or intellectually disabled...this applies to every foreigner and every citizens within countries, states, provinces and cities and countries, dearest boy
I think people need to change their conception of "what having fun" or being a "fun person" is like; you can be someone who does not go to clubs or drinks alcohol and still be a really cool person to be around with and have your own ways of being a fun person without needing to engage in that type of things that "general" society / and advertisements show us. its a widespread misconception sadly :/
It's good to express your thoughts. Love this video 💙
Thank you for that interesting video!
My husband feels the same way about going to bars. He does enjoy playing darts but doesn’t care to drink. I always felt that a man who can say no to things like that is more manly.
I can see your point about military service. It’s not for everyone. Some benefit greatly from the experience but not everyone.
It’s interesting to hear your points of view. Thank you for sharing.
As an Asian woman, I'm so glad you're talking about these issues. I live in Europe now and I can't imagine myself living there again because of the pressure from family and society.
And the bullying/ office politics/ bureaucracy /seniority sh*t I'll have to deal with should I work there. I just can't. I'll have freezing and cold winters instead.
you will find office politics and bureaucracy everywhere and I know that cause I have dealt with it in my work and I live in a western country.
@@michelleg7
I know. I have a tussle with my bosses, but I can tell them off straight to their faces without fear of dismissal.
Narcissistic bosses know no color, unfortunately. But my point is, it's more difficult dealing with them in places where workers' protection are non-existent.
@@michelleg7 that while it is true, it's very extreme in the east. I study economics and business and we studied that in countries like Japan, SK, China, India and such have extreme top down system especially Japan that I think ranks 1st in the world in that domain. I like these countries but I can't imagine myself working there, it would be very suffocating
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I would like to know more about it.
All I know is from some tv shows 🙈
Employers, neighbors, family members, religious leaders, teachers, strangers, yes EVERYONE- comment about your looks, weight, clothing, make-up, income, education, relationship status. Yepp, everything and anything under the sun, you'll definitely hear from them!
God forbid if you have your own mind, even if you're right- you'll be ostracised for it. Employers and people of authority like the ones who suck their egos. If you go against them, you can just forget about promotion and career growth. Fairness and meritocracy are fine concepts to know, they don't do it consistently.
Asian woman choosing to be child-free? The horror! Every week I used to get messages on FB from people whom I hadn't had contact in more than 15 years and ask about my marriage and admonish my childfree choice...
Being in a DINK (double income no kids) relationship, they think I swim in money. Neighbors would comment why I don't build a house or send my parents monthly allowance. When I visit, some people expect gifts + dinner + shopping spree. People from near and far come to you and offer their beach property, farm, house, lot- for sale or for lease and expect that you're interested in their proposition. Some thick-skinned people "borrow" money from you. Don't expect to be repaid. If you say no- you're arrogant and "don't remember them because you're already rich".
You'll hear stupid and crazy comments and expect that you hold your tongue because they're older, are authority figures and they need to "be respected". You can't make comments about people making stupid choices (for example poor and popping out kids) because you're "looking down on them". I should be thankful I have a better life than them. You can't comment how the government conducts business because "it's always been this way".
Between peers, there's always a comparison. Asians are very competitive people be it material or academic achievements, plus expectations when it comes to beauty and talent etc.
The expectations have always been there, but once you're an expat, it's even higher! You're just a wallet to some people. You're a poster child, they're proud of your achievements outside of the country but they're never interested in systems and processes in your adopted country. People of authority never bother to ask "how can we improve the lives/systems/procedures here?" when they know the country I am a citizen of is consistently topping the indices in human rights/ workers' protection/consumer rights etc... You just burn your money there and say nothing....
I loved the transparency! And I find all your points so relevant
Thanks for sharing this things to us ☺️
In watching more Korean dramas than I can count, I can understand the things this intelligent young man is saying. Kudos to him for speaking out and saying what many feel, but don't have the courage to say. I will start with the enormous pressure to consume excessive amounts of alcohol. I often wonder what the rate of alcoholism is in Korea, along with number of cases of alcohol poisoning and the per capita rate of alcohol related health issues. A REAL man stands up to peer pressure and makes decisions for himself rather than be led around like a sheep and acting in a way that they are not comfortable with. In my opinion, the workplace that forces these alcohol fueled after hours binge drinking gatherings is a form of both emotional and physical abuse. I didn't realize that in social gatherings that the oldest one is expected to pay, but in families I have seen extreme pressure on older children to support the family. I'd make it clear in my social network that I wouldn't being footing the bill. I see those who expect someone else to pay as parasites. We would call them moochers, sponges or cheapskates. The already high suicide rate in the country is only exacerbated by the pressures exerted by society on everything from physical appearance, material wealth and degree of education. I pity the celebrities and idols for the emotional abuse they suffer from the fanatical element in the public that obsesses over their lives and spews the hate that often drives them to suicide. Change only comes when people initiate that change. Others who view this video and agree may at least find the inspiration to make personal changes in their own life by standing up for themselves.
Well said, nothing good comes from this pressure cooker behaviour. Looks don't last forever but a kind loving personality does. This is more important in the whole scheme of life. Alife lived well has it's own rewards.
@@mazzid9973 very true🙃
It's their culture though. They are built different with alcohol, and the best way they know to network.
In Korea, western foreigners (men and women) would get drunk on the weekend and wait for Koreans to drive through with their nice cars and throw beers at their car, jump out in front, and tell them they had small genitalia, jump on the car, you name it.... every weekend. "wHy iS yoUR caR so NiCe f0r>? hoW dAre You?" The Koreans either chuckled or called the police and were usually very calm.
U.S Active duty/civilian foreigners would get in fights with Koreans or themselves over the dumbest shit because of fragile egos.
White dudes get kicked out of clubs for bad behavior, and make a scene while pulling the race card.
Couple July 4th's ago, they were in Busan literally brawling on the beach and shooting fireworks at Korean civilians, getting in fights with eachother. It made the news.
Who are the real alcoholics and degenerates of the world? I won't answer it, but it's good to go see a country for yourself and then forming an opinion.
Thank you for sharing! It's refreshing to hear a Korean male speak so frankly on the things you mentioned. I am biracial Korean and I grew up with a lot of insecurities because of the difficulty of trying to balance both cultures..and ultimately not being enough for either. I know you can't put everyone under one category, but it helped to hear this expressive side.
Hello, I am also biracial as you call it. I can tell you that you don't have to fall under the pressure of "being enough for both or one of them" You have the privilege of having two totally different cultures, therefore you have the option of choosing the best of each of them and being even better than them. You have the opportunity to understand and be familiar with both extremes. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR ANY CULTURE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR ANYONE, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. TAKE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS FOR YOU.
@@yomoychong7305 I totally agree 💯
Thank you for being real and honest with us😊❤
I love your opinions. Thanks for sharing ✨
Wow, I didn't realize that there were so much cultural similarities between Korea and Japan. After graduation, I continued to live in Tokyo to work and guys were definitely obligated to go to "Nomikai" (飲み会） with their bosses if they want that promotion. Things are changing a little bit these days and it seems people can actually decline if they don't drink, but in my days, no one would even dream of saying "No". Sometimes guys had to drink with their boss while their wives are in the hospital giving birth. That was the norm, but then again, back then we also had "Karoushi" (過労死ーdeath by overworking). At least they aren't obligated to go to the military.
Exactly, same pressure on kids in Japan. I would rather keep my kids alive and have them happy than be super achievers. Yes, we all want our kids to be successfully but not at that price.
I have some Korean friends who moved here to New Zealand last year and they love love love the work/life balance and the laid back relaxed lifestyle we have here and no pressure to be or act a certain way. Their little girl can do activities that she enjoys and schools encourage that. My Daughter's BFF who went back to Seoul ( we miss her alot!) did drama classes, speech classes, and swimming lessons while she was here and loved it, as schools give out little to no home work at primary level so kids get to explore the things they enjoy doing.
yeah I feel like I was encouraged to do things I like when I was living abroad… but I think it’s slowly changing …
NOW, I'm beginning to understand the "draw" of New Zealand! Seems cool.
What's the "live music" culture like?
#aRMyLOVE💙
Live music scene is good, we have many many talented local musicians, some known world wide. Over summer loads of festivals, tours, pub events etc etc Tiki Taane ( happens to live around the corner from me 😅) , six60, Beene, and Lorde to name a few.
New Zealand is very beautiful and people are kind.One day I want to visit that country.
@@archanapillai9765 I hope you manage to visit one day 🥰 Once it's safe enough to travel again. We were meant to open up to vax'd travellers later this year but with the new variant, it will have delayed things.
Really appreciated how you addressed these issues... 👍🏻👍🏻
Really enjoyed your video especially your transparency!!
My home country is actually the same, so while I was initially hesitant about leaving, I eventually left my country to live somewhere else, and the freedom I felt from public criticism brought a lot of inner peace. It's a generational problem, and it was just toxic.
I'm not a drinker. When I went to college many years ago, some people tried to pressure me to drink. They were young and dumb. As you get older, people do better at letting you be who you want to be. Same with the car thing. The older you get, the less people care what you drive. I drive a bright green Kia Soul. It's a happy little car, and very affordable. And I can always find it in the parking lot! It makes me happy, it rides well, and gets great gas mileage. That's all I care about. I can relate about being artistic and people wanting you to do something else to make more money. I actually got my Art Education master's degree many years ago, and a commercial art degree. When I graduated, neither made money, especially commercial art. Now you can make a good living at it. Thanks for sharing. Very interesting!
Thank you for your honesty and the really interesting insight. 🙏🏻💝
This is a very honest assessment! Job well done!
Love the honesty. As a fellow Korean living abroad, you are spot on in your observations, and I absolutely agree with them!
People who get upset with this video are generally people who have difficulty with objectivity and honesty (about the good and the bad).
Btw, saw you first on Jina’s video and now here I am.😊
Glad you came to check out his content. Check out his Q & A video if you want to know more about him...
@@Krystal109 Cool! Thanks!
I mean we can’t please everyone so might as well just do and say what I want haha glad you ended up here through Jina’s video !!
@@ThizisDanny Thanks for the feedback!🤗
@@Krystal109 kk
Dan this video should have millions of views. You hit the 7 main Korean lifestyle stigmatized standards which cause stress and death in your country. The mindset of Elders need to be RESET to stop generational curse of cultural issues stemming from closed minded morals, narcissism,physical insecurities, low self esteem, and provoked Elitism status. When you’re loved unconditionally and taught to love yourself from inside out then you will reciprocate that LOVE,humbleness, self worth, self respect, confidence and POSITIVE mindset everyday allowing you to REPEL NEGATIVE vibes & pressures with a “NO” “NO THANKS” or “NOT INTERESTED” without any false guilt afterwards 🥰 #MyKindOfBeautiful #LoveMeSomeMe
love watching and listening to you
Thank you for making this video. I VERY LOVE IT
It was refreshing to hear in a matter of fact way some of the troubling culture of Korea by a Korean currently living in Korea. The whole drinking culture has always bothered me as well..Also giving respect to your seniors/ elders where none is givin to you just because you're younger. But as you've stated no society is perfect 😁✌
Thank you for sharing this. As an outsider/foreigner , you are right we see only what the k pop and k drama idols show us. Your openness is refreshing. It is sad that behind all the glamor is pain that is hidden. It leads to stress, loneliness and depression. Your words surely strengthened me.
thank you for watching the video and sharing your thoughts on it. Yes it can get quite pressuring sometimes but I think I’m used to it now..!
Hello this is Dan, this is Patty..
I and our entire family hope you are alright
Thank you, your videos are very educational. Learning a lot
I was Randomly scrolling through CZcams and this came up!! Very open and honest , put across well.
A real man doesn’t have to exploit others in those bars you were talking about. Getting drunk is overrated and I respect your choice not to drink like someone dying of thirst . I would not compare to actors or singers because you are you and they are them. Yes it’s true that you have people that look like you out there ( we all do) but at the end of the day you are still you. Expensive stings are nice to look are but aren’t that important to me. I think it’s sad that we have to be forced to be materialistic. My car isn’t new but he’s great and I love it (Ford explorer 2005) . He gets me where I need to be and that fine with me. I hope people can understand how you feel and I better those haters feel the same deep down. Thank you for being you Dan , I love the accent. Be strong 💪
Thank you for your honestly! I am an American that fell in love with kpop years ago. Now days I am trying to understand the Korean people not just the entertainment side. There are pro's and con's to every culture. Thank you for sharing your onions and personal experiences.
You presented it so well! As you said there are good and bad things in every culture and it’s interesting to see the different perspectives 🌼
About #7… I think a real man is the one that keeps to his values, morals and standards he set for himself instead of the one who caves into peer pressure from coworkers, trying to coax him into doing something he simply doesn’t want to do.
Yes, it is good to get along with others and go places together but I am not sure if it can authentically be called “getting along” when others coax a person into grudgingly doing something or going somewhere with the others. It may not create a peaceful relationship but a resentful one. In any culture/ society.
Great video! Very interesting topics.
Awesome channel 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Haha loved your “I don’t judge, I do judge, but I don’t judge”. I feel like people try so hard not to offend and do the whole oh it’s their life they can do what they want. But sometimes what someone’s doing is weird af and it’s gotta be said lol
Exactly, to not acknowledge what you see or observe is absurd. I make judgments everyday, and they don't have to be done in a cruel or rude way. I think people just don't like being called out...on anything...period...LOL. Which is really sad. How else can we grow if we don't humble ourselves and learn from others based upon their observations/judgements?
Hi Dan, I totally understand when you told about having a nice car and nice house, 'cause in Brasil people think just like this. I'm brazilian but now i live in Portugal, and here is so so so diferent. Here people drive their car for about 10 or 15 years, and they care about their car that they look like new cars. Here is fine to have an old car.
About number 6; being a brazilian person makes people think all the time that I should like football soccer and Neymar, and being abble to dance samba. I do know how to samba, but people ask me to dance everytime, everyhere. This is anoiyng
yeah, we are people not professional dancers lol
Dude, look a his "old, ship car", Korea standards is not way closer to Brazil.
Thank you for sharing all this with the world.
Loved for being so truthful...
Dan it's okay to be yourself! And it's okay to say no to the pressure others feel they have to put onto you! Life is short, be happy
very true! life is short so i’m trying my best to be happy :)
@@ThizisDannygood, the others will realize and catch up ;)
Dearest Kerman collective,
I agree with Kerman collective that you bear true sentiments about how you feel because after all we are human
Thanks for being so transparent. As an African American living in the Washington DC area I relate to everything you said except the military. I find you to be a genuine person and wish you the best.
RESPECT... Thanks for your info.. real truth... Love your vibe..
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It was interesting.
I think in a lot of cultures have their pros and con (lol being Hispanic definitely has those has well, surprisingly very similar to this too) but I think it’s so great to think and be outside the box! We should all accept ourselves for being different because there is only one of us in the world, why not show it🤷🏻♀️ The people who truly care about you won’t care about the other things!
yes for sure ! I also things acknowledging the problems and facing them makes the changes!!!
@@ThizisDanny yes! Couldn’t agree more! It definitely takes a lot of courage to do it, but so much happiness comes from it! I’m glad you had that courage, so everyone can see you today and be helped by what you went through and overcame!
true
The perfect society are not created yet, I am afraid. I live in a country with lot of positive things, very high up on the list of great countries to live in, but there are a lot of negative things as well.
When people are critical of others about things like this, it comes from insecurity. Like the "real man" thing. That's such a dumb line. What's a real man? Who decided that and why do we care? No one should be pressured to do anything they don't want to do. Not wanting to do something is a perfectly valid reason. When I lived in Korea, one of my female friends was told by someone that she should lose more weight to be within the "ideal weight for women." They wanted her to lose a lot more weight and she was already thin to the point of scaring me. Thankfully, she didn't listen but it bothers me that people all around the world feel pressure like this. For the record, I love Korea and loved living there; would totally live in Korea again. No country is perfect, though and it's good to admit faults and try to work on them.
Also, you're perfectly handsome the way you are and look like you. No comparisons needed :) Even kpop stars and actors don't look like that all the time; we're all human, let's cut ourselves some slack.
When I saw the title I was genuinely shocked. It's refreshing to hear you be raw about these things and I'm sorry for the mistreatment you have gone through. I hate when people try to put men into certain boxes like...it makes no sense. Embrace yourself and do what you love! Best of luck to you !
Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate your content
no one should be judged by his look or his thoughts as long he doesn't affect me directly, cause we are living together and we should respect everyone's boundaries.
i can feel the same as you are, i'm wearing hijab, and you can imagine what i face for being a muslim girl :))
Dan, finally someone says the same things I also don't like about life as Korean guy. Thank you. 😊
Thank you for being transparent.. I’ve learnt some stuff from this.
Your views are valid Dan….very apt!
You are spot on with your observations!!
I am an avid korean drama watcher...and also an ardent BTS follower.....anything and everything about Korea fascinates me.....but...but...but....at the same....these cultures and pressure of Korea...really hits hard...it's so so difficult to survive in that kind of environment....
I am from India....and we share similar cultures....so I can relate to these societal pressure....but....what's refreshing...is that.....a young guy talking about these things so freely....accepting these facts....really liked your honesty dude.....
Dont fall into the pressure dear....lead your own life according to your own terms....PHAITING !!!!!!
I love your British accent and your honest about your cultural. The fact you feel at ease with who you are and not pressured to fit into other people's unnecessary social norms shows real maturity. Thank you for your post. 😁
I love you for being so honest
Good points👏👏will thank you for showing real facts
I am from the USA my advice please do what makes you happy 😊 ☺ don't be pressured to the point of stress life is ment to be lived to its fullest. 🥰🥰🥰
Bless you. It’s admirable to see how you stand up for your truth. Proud of you 👏🏿
I appreciate your openness...
Yourself is so good🤗Thank you for sharing❤️