To Every Woman Over 30...
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- čas přidán 2. 03. 2024
- To Every Woman Over 30...
This episode discusses women and ageing. I have noticed that there is A LOT of opinions about how women choose to spend their life after they surpass the age of 30.
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Listen up ladies….. I had this whole thing typed out where I went through my 20s and 30s and now in my 40s talking about how frazzled and insecure I was in my 20s, with improvements in my 30s, and now my 40s just feeling so on fire and confident and stable and healthy and happy. But it all got deleted before I could hit send. So I’m taking that as my sign to shorten it and just say this… It gets SO much better in our 40s, 50s and beyond!!!
I can’t emphasize this enough. Our 20s is such an emotional roller coaster with financial instability, insecurity, and our 30s things start to kind of lighten up and stabilize, we kind of start to find our way and sense of self, but by the time we get into our 40s we are so deeply seated in our purpose and sense of self and there is so much richness that I look forward to my 50s and 60s and beyond.
Toss out societal mile markers and beauty standards and what society tells you a woman should be or what her prime is. When you get to your 40s you will look back on your 30s and your 20s and feel sorry for the young woman you used to be because you will realize how insecure and unstable she was. A Woman in her 40s is in her prime. I mean just look at the women in Hollywood. Every female vixen that is killing it on the red carpet right now is women in their 40s and 50s. They are gorgeous they are accomplished they are killing it. Just a sort of shallow example, but relevant none the less. Do not be afraid to grow and mature Ladies. It’s glorious!
Great message. Im 30 and I honestly never looked better, felt happier and freer (esp in my mind) than now
Yet its so looked down upon is crazy
Yes Erin Preach! Stay in your own lane & do what you want. ( as long as it’s not harmful to others 🙃) Live your fn life. So much pressure on women, we don’t need to be at each other. ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
That’s the key! If it’s not intentionally harming others!!
Love this conversation!
I’m a Muslim woman wearing hijab and it’s very frustrating - especially in France, where I live - to be told what I should do, wear, and how I should behave. Even more so because I am revert so I have been wearing clothes that, now, they say I should wear, yet it wasn’t good for them either back then.
We can’t win if we move according to people’s opinion. Opinions are FREE, so there’s always someone that is gonna feel entitled to give theirs and make you feel bad for what you’ve chosen to do.
I just do me, and I love to see people thrive being themselves ✨
You’re an absolute queen babe! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, it’s every single voice that gets to be an inspirations to some one who witnesses it!
Such an amazing video Erin! Love the message!
This is my favourite video I’ve seen on your channel 💛 and I’m just 2/3 in
This was so needed thank you
I once shared about how great Liverpool is because we can live as a family off one income and the first comment was "why are you leeching off your husband? You should work too!" He literally gets every meal of his life cooked, his pants folded, and his kids taken care of but somehow I'm a leech 🤦 There is absolutely no winning with these people!
Yes 20s is the prime for attracting men and having kids but it's so rarely the time a woman feels best about herself or has her life in order. I'm 34 and I feel I'm setting the stage for my prime! Can't wait to travel again as a grown up, try new hobbies with my husband, grow my business and so much more once my kids are a bit older! 🌎 Thank you for giving hope and perspective for younger women that it's not all downhill but keeps getting better x x x
I LOVE this video. Thank you so much, Erin. I'm turning 30 this month and half of me is feeling "omg im 30, im getting so old" and half of me is feeling like I don't relate to the early 20s version of myself at all anymore (in the best way possible), so this new decade is going to be even better. Truthfully, I'm more confident and self-assured now than I've ever been, so I relate to and loved what you said that each decade just gets better and better.
The fear of 30 being old is actually wild isn’t it??? I felt the same way but I promise you my queen on the other side it’s feels like a fresh beginning 😍
Erin, I love this video! I deeply appreciate and respect you for sharing your perspective on such an important topic. I couldn't agree more - prioritizing our happiness, taking ownership for our decisions and embracing all ages, choices and perspectives is key. I'm 35, focused on myself, my career/ business and hobbies and I'm really enjoying this phase of my life. I'm so much happier than in my 20s. Also, the BTCPIK philosophy has been a game changer for me - been a fan since the beginning and it really helped me improve my relationship with myself. Thank you so much!! ❤
Thank you Erin for making space for such an important topic. This conversation is so important to have as so many women struggle in their late 20s, early 30s on how to aproach their life and the beliefs and demands of the society. I myself feel sometimes quite overwhelmed about how I am going to live my life because of everything that is portrait on social media. But what helps me is always connect with myself, asking myself specific questions. Everything starts with myself. Greetings from Germany :)
PREACH Erin 🙌🏼 I’m 30 this year and needed this motivational boost ☺️ so sorry you had all those comments. I really worry about the rise in alpha/incel culture on the internet but love seeing empowered women like you on my feed 👏🏼☺️
I think we are stronger 😄 we got to flood them out with love amd excitement 💖
Yasssss❤️🔥 I had kids in my early twenties, left my ex in my early 30's. In last 7 years I did bachelor's in nursing in English (my second language) met love of my life and got married again, published a book and left my job to pursue my business and did another degree along the way. Was it easy? Hell to the no! Was it worth it? Hell to the yes 🎉🎉🎉🎉. Life starts when you choose to 🌟
Every stage of life comes with different ups and downs. Were my 20’s full of less responsibility? For sure. But I struggled to get above water. The fun we had were unparalleled times of freedom. But my 30’s are so stable and that feeling of being able to breathe! Enjoying not struggling (personally/financially) but trying to be a parent (so many struggles). Each decade or so of life brings something new to experience. But no. I wouldn’t go back to my 20’s 😂😂😂 the struggle was so real!
Thank you so much for sharing this and starting this conversation with us. I definitely agree that this particular conversation comes down to people minding their own business and respecting other rights to do the same. I’m a big believer that there’s a time a place for most every ideology & practice of life. There’s a time to speak up and stand together about something and there is a time to focus on what you need for yourself without thinking of social norms or alternatives. I think that makes sense lol. Bottom line for me is life is too short to live your life for someone else out of fear of others judgments and too short to be judging others for the choices they make for their lives too.
There’s so much to this conversation. I feel more & more that people forget that life is full of nuances because we’re all so different and we focus on the ways we are different instead of respecting those differences & celebrating/honoring our similarities.
Anyway😅 thanks for this video Erin! I loved this Im so glad to have this reminder that there are spaces where I am welcomed amongst the bs too.
I love people that love people🥳
I love that bottom line babe! I am right there with you!! Thank you so much for thoughtful comment and sharing your thoughts! So much love to you queen!
Wow, so many hateful comments. I like your attitude! F them haters haha
I absolutely loooove this! I am a stay at home mom turning 33 this October and it is so cringy to hear people say how easy it must be for me. You have to basically be superwoman, supermom and superwife on top of somehow finding time for yourself which feels nearly impossible. My little is about to start school in a few months and I'm so torn between looking forward to having those few hours to myself but also being fully aware of how much I'm going to miss her while she's there and trying to cherish the time I have left in this phase of our lives. I was not a fan of the Barbie movie either, it was so hyped up and I'm not sure what I expected of it but that was not it, however I do appreciate how it makes the point that women are expected to be on point and do it all constantly! We are expected to have perfect hair, makeup and outfits as well as keep the house together with cooking & cleaning, play with & raise our children to certain standards, be involved with our families, make/maintain friendships AND be business women all while maintaining sanity when realistically 24 hours goes by in the blink of an eye and we have to do it all over again the next day! Yes we have the same hours in our day as Beyonce but not everyone has a team of people to help with holding things together, it's just us, just one human being and there truly is soooo much pressure on us! Thank you for this video and all of the honesty, I am interested to see how the conversation continues! 🥰💯
Oh my gosh I freaking hate that quote about Beyoncé. I remember I saw it on a mug of all things when I first started my business and it made me feel so guilty for getting tired☹️
@@Erinmayhenry Haha I think I first heard it on CZcams meant to be inspirational but it made me feel about the same as it did you, then I started thinking about the reality of it😂
There is no expiration date on finding yourself until you are dead. I have never believed that I could not be something different than what I am today or any day. Every human changes every 7 years (scientifically proven). What makes you happy (or what you believe to make you happy) may change tomorrow, next week or next year. I really don’t care how a woman chooses to live their life (as long as they are not causing harm to others) I am 53 and what makes me happy and content changes as I learn and grow as a human. Isn’t that what this thing called life is all about - growth. Life is a journey not a destination- respect your journey as well as the journey’s of others.
I find that I have an annoying habit of letting that doom scrolling convince me that the ways I want to share my stories & creative ideas online are too dangerous to my ego. I don’t want to give into fear of being judged by these strangers anymore. Easier said than done, but the pull to still want to do it never goes away. And if thats not a sign to do it anyway!..
deep breath and here I go 🚀
I am right there with you babe!!!
Just sounds like a ton of bitter people projecting their own issues lmao 😂 or hating because their beliefs block them from being that way... so yucky!! I'm happy for any woman that feels the best in whatever she chooses and it's all that matters ❤ women are fucking magic , just wish they'd all see it
So fucking magic omg I am inspired by the magic of women every single day!
Yessssssss🎉🎉🎉🎉
👏👏👏
49 year old Gen X here - it's sad to me that millenials and gen z are so scared of aging, and injectables are so normalised, and it all feels like it's orchestrated by men, social media and corporations ... and none of it makes them happier, just even more pressured (even if they pretend they're doing it for themselves).
You're right - it's not fair 😢
Great conversation!
You have hit the key here! Most of what people think will make them happy, doesn’t 🫣
😊
😊😊
I'm really sorry that you had to read so much crap and I hope that you forget it as soon as possible.
As for the patriarchal agony around the age and childlessness of women, I consider this a desperate cry of dying patriarchal attitudes towards global women's emancipation. And the more anger in them means that our steps become wider as independent women as individuals and as an entire social class as a whole.
Internal misogyny among women will exist for quite a long time, but I think it is limited within the life cycle of one woman. Like you, I was also misogynistic at 20, although I thought I wasn’t. Now at 30, I have realized and am getting rid of most of the misogyny in myself and just cognitive distortions in my mentality. Most likely, when I’m 40, I’ll discover that even at 30 I was far from the complete default respectful love for my gender, but fortunately we are getting better, although sometimes we have to remember to cringe from past decisions and spoken words
Anyway, all the points are on target!
P.S. Sorry if it's written chaotically, it was translated into Google translator
It was written absolutely beautifully 😢 it’s absolutely a natural progression out of those beliefs and that’s the part about the internet that I do love, that these kinds of discussions can happen because in my late teens and early 20s I have absolutely no where to learn a different perspective 😢
@@Erinmayhenry It helped me to understand the world order and gave me firmness in my thoughts and self-confidence by reading feminist literature and articles written by women. In fact, I didn’t read very much, but definitely among the things I read was Simone De Beauvoir’s “The Second Sex” and some thoughts by Andrea Dworkin
Sigh...when does this nonsense stop?
Yes of course someone will always say choices z, y or z is wrong. No two people will ever agree and claiming your choices should be respected...nope! Does not work like that nor are they wrong.
If you want to dress and behave a certain way, you'll be judged for it. Do you not think men get the same judgement? If I dress like a slob, people think I'm a slob. If I dress in suit and present myself smartly and confidently then I usually get what I want. It's how humans are.
So lets just boil this down to basics
Some Men want X. Some Women want Y. Some men want XY and some women want XY. You're not going to mix well with everyone so dont try.
You can be an do whatever you want in the west. You have that right. Just don't get upset when you put content out in a public space and you get opinion's that don't gel with your world view and dont assume you can change others peoples belief's just because you disagree with them. You can have all the opinions and feelings you like but the end result will be whatever the end result will be. You're the one that has to look back on your life in years to come. Will you regret decisions you made or will you be happy with the life you lived? Not for me to say.
I am mean absolutely agree with you about when you put yourself online that you will receive comments that was actually discussed, the purpose of the video was the real line young women feel depressed (even those who are not content creators) because they feel immense pressure that their life is over at 30. This goes beyond the internet, I thought this long before I was ever a content creator. To have 50% of the population fearing that they only have 30 years of value is not acceptable imo
@@Erinmayhenry
I hear you.
Trust me, young women might be depressed but young men are just as depressed as well. We wouldn't have had the rise of A.T or the comments you got if thing was a bed of roses for men. I speak with those young men and they are very unhappy in the UK about their long term romantic prospects. It breaks my heart how messed up both sides seem to be right now.
We have to start facing reality. Both genders. Men and women value different things in partners. Some men value youth just as some women value resources in a man. Right or wrong, they simply are what they are and a basic genetic and cultural level. No amount of telling some of these men "they are wrong" will not change the fact they think women of a certain age are un-dateable. They are actually wrong (on that I agree) because when they hit 40 plus, they'll happily date a 30 something.
And that's the point. It's not that women of a certain age become un-dateable. It's just they have smaller pool to choose from. If all the "good men" got snapped up early then what's left and will they meet your preference's in a long term mate?
No one should be saying you'll be forever single but it is true to say the older women get, the harder it gets dating for them. The same rule doesn't apply to men though. Obviously it all changes from person to person and other varying factors but our sexual market place value for partners isnt defined by what we think of ourselves but what others think of us....and like I said, men and women value different things in their partners.
And no, I'm not some A.T fan, an incel or whatever. I truly believe everyone should live the life that makes them happy but you have to do that without expecting others to be on the same page as you. You want a certain result, you have to do the work. If you want to be single and fool around, be single and fool around. Not hard to do these days, especially for women. If you want to be in a relationship, do what's needed to secure one early on. You cant do both.
I hope it's not a problem for you going forward and that you do find the right person but when so many men are hitting a point and checking out of dating all together...like I said, you will struggle.
I love this conversation! I hate that 30 has turned into this deadline for having your life together when actually it’s just an age. You can be anything and do anything at any age 🩷
Absolutely ANYTHING!! I am obsessed with all those videos of people like Vera Wang who started over later in their life! So inspirational!