Sleeping At Last - "Nine" (Official Lyric Video)
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- čas přidán 21. 04. 2020
- "Nine" - inspired by Enneagram Type Nine is from the "Atlas: II" song series by Sleeping At Last.
Live Chemical Ink Artwork by Kyra Hinton www.kyrahinton.com
Produced by Wonderkind Studios (Huge thanks to Brian MacDonald!)
wonderkindstudios.com
Handwriting by Ryan O'Neal
Listen to the entire Atlas: II series of songs by Sleeping At Last: fanlink.to/Atlas2
sleepingatlast.com - Hudba
"How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?" THAT HIT HARD
:(((((((
@@CriVal4 Don’t be sad, it hurts my soul and breaks my heart. 🙏🏻😢
Right!?
Although, I don’t think anyone in particular is at fault, it is simply just how things developed. Sure, we have a responsibility to ourselves to change our actions once we are aware that they aren’t serving us, but how are we to know this as we grow up, developing our type, influenced throughout life by our environment and genetics.
😔
Damn it did
I've never felt like a nine until i heard this song. the part about losing time really hits hard. I'm so afraid of growing up and losing opportunities, but i'm I'm also too afraid to do anything about it.
same
This hits so hard
Especially with all if these child stars I feel like time is being wasted and you can't ever get it back
omg wow yeah... same
Exactly the same for me, always felt I was misunderstood by everyone. Gave myself some grace after listening to this.
Happy to find people who would truly understand the struggle and vulnerability type 9s suffer.
the line “I have been sleepwalking since I was 14” hits hard. I’ve been suicidal for the entirety of my teenage years, and now that I’m about to graduate and move onto the next big thing, I realize that I never actually planned on making it this far. But no matter what, I’ve got to keep going, after all, how else am I going to fall in love “again and again and again?”
You’re big, go for it :)
I feel you. Its hard to forget but feels like u sleep walked all the mess
Bakht. I don’t get it haha. 🤔 Sleep walked all the mess?
@@emiliochiquito3887 Like you don't plan for anything that's happening. Life just goes on, and you're drifting along. Like literal sleepwalking. You don't know where you're going, but your feet move.
Just know that you're amazing❤☀️
To all my fellow 9s going through a tough time just know, "there's so much worth fighting for. You'll see"
🤍✨
Its hard to fight when Im/Your alone my fellow 9s.
"Dear me"?? XD
I hope so
Thank you.
"To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do."
What? I'm not crying. Definitely not. Definitely.
I love this song so much.
Amen...
Today I love myself. Today I love life! Today I am a WARRIOR 🙏🏿🙏🏽🙏🏼💜
@@petriss69 you Go!!!so proud
Thank YOU so much 💖
the nines,
broken dreamers,
hopeless beautiful and strong people,
we can do this,
i´m proud of you all,
hugs
Aredocē.. (thank you)
Thank you for supporting those you dont even know
your amazing and someone out there loves you more than you'll ever know
This made me cry, as a nine, I’ve never actually felt like myself. Most of my life is just me trying to prove others that I’m worthy and pleasing them. I don’t really know who I even am.
I hear you
Right beside you!
I don't realize that this is also me for so long. Sending you big ang warm hugs.
Agree Blessing to you
As a fellow nine, I feel the same
"Wake up. Roll up your sleeves. Stand up. Fall in love again. Wage war on gravity. There's so much worth fighting for." I cling and hold on to these words. Your songs just break me down to my core.
My good friend, who is a 2, had me take an enneagram test and listen to the song that corresponded immediately. We were in a rather public place and I started to cry halfway through this song. She was on her phone and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself or bother her so I just stayed silent until she looked over at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I don't think anything better describes a 2 and 9 relationship quite like that and I'll forever be grateful for her
I'm a 9 and I had my mom take the test today. She's a 2 and I had her listen to the corresponding song right after she got her results. She teared up, too. But I knew she was a 2 before she ever took the test. A healthy 2 stands out.
i have a best friend thats a 2 too
absolutely beautiful. im so happy that you guys have each other.
omg, this made ME cry
I am a 2 and my sweetheart is a 9. It’s very special ❤
“Another Domino falls either way...”
I love that line. I’m learning about myself and figuring out what that means. I’ve found myself saying “life will go on no matter what I do, so I might as well take a chance”, and I feel like that line is so profoundly simple. We can fight to know and love ourselves and those around us, or we can stay asleep. Life goes on either way. Why not try?
hey, im in really tough place right now. its really hard to even reach out. thank you so much for this. i hope you're doing well. :)
I wanted to basically write this comment. I feel like that line changed my life in a way. I can’t keep the domino’s from falling, so give yourself permission to join the rest of the world and live.
@@lillykatoke1270 you’re right. Life will continue, and the world will keep spinning, so we might as well join it just to see where we end up. You’ve got to give yourself a chance to see something beautiful in something unexpected
so true wise yet simple at type 9 with a strong 1 I use to get caught up in making it left or making the right choice l would ruminate so long that most of the time l was fence sitting never making choices unless influence by others over the years gotten better at questioning and making my choices using that type 8 wing
I think the most meaningful part for me was "I've been less than half myself for more than half my life." My depression makes it difficult for me to really be there in the moment. I'm just existing, not really feeling.
But recently.... I'm getting better. Very slowly, but better. And I'm falling in love again and again and again. I'm relearning to love the blue sky, the colorful flowers, and even myself. I feel like the black and white is fading away, revealing a million colors I've never known.
i'm proud of you, you beautiful soul.
Cheers mate! Im happy for you
Chloe Valencia Even if i don’t know you, I’m still happy for you! Be sure to watch the sunsets now at the coming end of winter, the sun’s shine in the snow and ice is beautiful.❤️
I don't know you but I am so happy to read this💙 best wishes
Genuinely... that line made me tear up:/
I don’t know who I am.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m just trying so hard to make others happy. Yes, it succeeded. Almost everyone likes me, my personality, my emotions.
And until that one time, one of my childhood friend asks me,” Have you forgot who you were already?”
Right.
Who am I?
After primary school I changed a lot. I stopped to be selfish, but selfless. I’ve learnt to smile every time. I’ve learnt to make myself more outgoing even I’m just a fucking introvert.
I got friends. A lot of friends. From my own class to social network, and it turns out I’m lost in the abyss.
Who am I? Am I just another clown? Probably.
I’ve lost my feelings, I can’t feel much pain or sadness or even happiness. I know to survive, I must stay positive and happy and always laugh. But the original side of mine had lost. I’ve forgot who I am.
The only thing I remember is my dream of being a doctor. It’s fucking hard. I procrastinate I’m lazy and I’m trying so hard to change. My mother always said I used to be so hardworking, and now I’m just stuck. I listened to motivational songs or TED talks but I just can’t find my booster.
I guess I’ll just keep on going. With a soulless mind and a fragile dream.
It was hard for me to stay focus on something for more than 3hrs, but I guess I’ll have to keep on going and become a doctor just to find myself back.
Wish me luck.
Zey I can understand you so well. I wish you the bestest luck and the happiest life, a life which you live for yourself and your happiness and well being. Just a stranger here cheering you up! Stay strong :)
If you have a dream, CHASE IT. I swear to you, finding out what you want in life and doing it will provide you with so much joy, more than conforming to anyone else ever can or will. I’ve been in your boat before... I had my identity crushed out of me at one point, and lot of my life became like a 9’s even though I’m very much a 4 on the enneagram. I almost completely lost my identity and personality, and it was the worst feeling. I swear, never stop searching. Start speaking up for even the smallest things you believe in. Surround yourself with people who ask you how you feel but aren’t afraid to hear you say that you aren’t exactly certain about something. I pray that you find the joy there is in this life. 💞
Lovely. Please, please PLEASE take time for yourself. Try and say no sometimes if you feel it will negatively affect you. Talk to people. Forgive yourself sometimes. Please. I am one of the many people in this earth who genuinely loves you.
This is too beautiful, i so much relate. I hope everything goes well for you.
hello, thank you for being so honest, you've helped so many people by sharing already... I dont know you or your situation, but it sounds to me you are going through some depression, especially being unable to focus... I hope you consider therapy, it's scary ( I know) but being in school while depressed will be very difficult and you may burn out..... I pray there is someone you can confide in and you get the assistance you need to help you be a stronger happier you
The best part is from 00:00 to 05:21
Mario Duarte OMG THATS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO!! 🥳
Mario Duarte AAA YOU HAVE SUCH GREAT TASTE
I know right????
Misssaps sh x
NO WAY TWINS
I swear these nine songs have the best comment sections of all time. People realising they are being felt and understood and not alone by themselves ❤ so wholesome and beautiful :')
Agreed
Absolutely 💯
Amen
To my nines out there... we’ll be okay ♥️
We'll be alright
somehow hard to believe :D ( for me atleast)
@@mugin3323 I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you soon.
Thank you.
thx
“wage war on gravity” felt like a reference to pluto, “the heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity,” which fits because it’s the ninth planet.
the number nine was the first tattoo i got. this song helped me stop being suicidal. I made it a whole nine months without cutting when I got it. Ten months going strong. :)
Edit: thank you so much for the love and support. Now 19 months going strong :)
WHOOOO!!!! 😁❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😊
LETS GOOO PROUD OF YOUU 💕💕💕
nice :))
Happy for you!!!!
YES KEEP GOING SIS!!! that’s a good idea, this song has helped me so much too maybe i should get a 9 tattoo too
I literally got goosebumps at the "i realize i've been less than half myself for more than half my life".
I always try to be nice, be kind and be friendly to others because I have a big fear is that I may hurt someone because of my words and actions. It works somehow. People like me for being nice all the time.
But I'm just so "human", I judge, I hate, I'm very mean inside. My true self is far from being that nice. And because all of my energy is used for pretending, I'm drained out and empty at the end of the day. How bitter it is, while trying to be the girl that everyone would love, I've turned into a person I really hate.
A short message for Sleeping at last: There are some artists that I'm really thankful for their existence, and you are one of them. I love your songs not just because of the words, the melody, but also because your music could heal. Please keep up your good work, I wish you all the best.
“it’s uncomfortable but right”
Sometimes it’s hard for me to realize that I grow the most when I’m out of my comfort zone - taking action towards finding myself and feeling like “me”, whatever that is. As a nine, I didn’t fully relate until that lyric came up.
relate!
The only time you’ll grow is out of your comfort zone. I’m dealing with it 6 years after first hearing this song. And nothing will change. There’s a cross and we must carry it
The "it looks like empathy[...] But I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes"
Hits hard
They always make me cry.
Especially with
"It looks like empathy to understand all sides, I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes"
I remember when this song first came out, I stayed up so late to listen to it when it was released. I'm a 945.
Your Average Music Person
the very last phrase makes me cry almost every time.
~469
I’m a 497, with very strong 9 tendencies because of stuff that happened to me, and this song hits so close to home for me.
I'm 459 and I relate to that.
Hey, I’m also a 945 :)
I could not stop crying after that line.
~954
Anyone else notice the deep breath at 5:15? It's like an "alright, here we go, let's do this..." type of moment that perfectly capstones the end of the song... Love it!
i was just washing the dishes while this song was blasting in the background and have come into realization that the line,
*now as i write my song*
*i retrace my steps*
*honestly its easier*
*to let myself forget*
was referring to himself, because apparently Ryan O'Neal is a nine!
wait really??
I noticed that too after listening to the “Seven” podcast and then listening to “Nine” again!
It was so hard coming to the realization that I'm a nine. Every time I took the test I would keep getting different answers because I didn't know which choice to choose. It just felt like every side of the decision was valid, and I think that is one thing that characterizes a nine. I think nines have trouble seeing the choice that reflects them and instead look through others to make decisions about themselves. Hope other nines had a similar experience.
I had a similar experience to what you had. I really see both sides and the questions would be hard to answer on the test because it all depends on who I am with that will determine what I would do or how I would react.
When in doubt, a good idea is to read about how the system works (knowing about the triads is HUGE to help you determine someone's type) and the description for each of the types and see which one resonates more with you. I think The Enneagram Institute is a really good and complete source for that, each description is really thorough and it even has a section in which it contrasts types one on one to help you narrow it down even further.
A very good friend of mine is a 9 (Im a 2). He has had problems with identity and knowing who he is for a long time. So, imma say what I said to him: Stop trying to be me. stop trying to be someone else. you're you, and that's beautiful. i don't care how many times you tripped, i care about how you tripped, not someone else. you're you, and that is so amazing and powerful. you're the best you you can be. and dont ever forget who you are.
whoever is reading this, i pray that you are safe and in good health.
This was very sweet to read. I have struggled for a while wondering whether I was a 2 or 9, because the core motivation of wanting to be loved of the 2 resonated so powerfully with me, but I had more of the tendencies and traits of a 9, such as merging with others energy and personalities, avoiding conflict like the plague, and feeling like I generally don't matter/am a burden to everyone around me. I think I'm realizing now even as you say it that I can say that I want to be loved for who I am, that being who is am is enough. Thanks again!
@@rachellofgran7898 no problem. im always happy to help.
If only it was that easy
@@ianhamilton9600 i believe in you
❤️
I'm also trying to find myself through someone else's eyes
same :-(
Have you tried God’s eyes?
sydney claire shhh not everyone believes
I wasn’t being rude in anyway. I just made a suggestion. I was simply asking that maybe instead of finding yourself in peoples eyes, try God’s.
My moms eyes are the one
I've never had an aim, a purpose, all I did was was go where I was told to go, do what I've been told to do. I've always reassured myself with the fact that life wasn't long, that I didn't need to strive for anything because I wasn't going to be here for long. But
as I'm about to complete uni, with a course that I realized I liked too late, with low grades because I didn't feel the need to achieve anything, I'm ashamed of how asleep I've been. But all that matters is that I'm still here, I'm waking up, im finally feeling that urge in my heart and in my bones to achieve something,even if that is to get my grades as high as I can before I complete and I'm going to do it.Im going to try my best to be something even if I have no idea what that is right now, even if my anxious thoughts tell me I dont have enough time
i feel just the same way. i’m proud of u
@@AnaCarolina-io5vr thank you so much
I'm proud of you too
I'll give you updates 😊😅
Same here 😭 i just don't understand with my college time and end up with worrying my future 😭😭😭
@@iblametheworld1245 hii love, relax.
Don't rush it. Try not to overthink about it. Take one step at a time.Go with the flow and try to do your best at anything you tackle, don't worry if you make mistakes, everyone does, it's just that you don't see them❤
absolutely PROUD OF YOU!
Lyrics:
who am i
to say what any of this means-
i have been sleepwalking
since i was fourteen.
now as i write my song,
i retrace my steps.
honestly, it’s easier
to let myself forget.
still, i check my vital signs.
choked up, i realize
i’ve been less than half myself
for more than half my life.
wake up.
fall in love again,
wage war on gravity.
there’s so much
worth fighting for.
you’ll see.
another domino falls
either way.
it looks like empathy,
to understand all sides,
but i’m just trying to find myself
through someone else’s eyes.
so please show me what to do
to restart this heart of mine.
how do i forgive myself
for losing so much time?
wake up.
roll up your sleeves.
there’s a chain reaction
in your heart,
muscle memory
remembering who you are.
stand up.
fall in love again and again and again.
wage war on gravity.
there’s so much
worth fighting for,
you’ll see.
another domino falls
and another domino falls
a little at a time,
i feel more alive.
i let the scale tip and feel all of it,
it’s uncomfortable but right.
we were born to try,
to see each other through.
to know and love ourselves and others well
is the most difficult and meaningful
work we’ll ever do.
I hope everyone finds their comfort today, even just for a little while. You are beautiful and loved exactly as you are.
Thank you
...you know its a lyric video right?
And exactly the way u were and will be ♥️
@@waffles2043 some people find it easy to read it this way, cause there is no hurry to read em before the next lines appear. And they can read the lyrics as the song goes and ponder over the lyrics as long as they want 💚
@@waffles2043 bruh someone always comments this but it’s it’s easier to read cause it’s all and one place and doesn’t disappear
This has made me realize again that... I don't have a strong identity. I don't have strong opinions. I feel like a blurry picture of a person rather than a true one right now and it scares me but I don't know what to do. How do I make real connections with people? How do I strengthen friendships? How do I speak out or speak up? Why don't I have any plans for the future, other than a vague idea of a job. Getting stronger in my faith has helped a bit, but I have a hard time strengthening that too. I'm struggling more than I like to think about and it terrifies me
You are not alone. I’m worried too - just remember to give yourself grace. We’re all still learning, no matter what stage of life we’re in. The future looks blurry to me too and it scares me a little when I think about it too much, but I have faith that it will work out, and I believe it will for you too :)
awwwwwwwww im sorry
@@ANPaige :c im sorry youre scared bestie
This is quite relatable to me, thank you for sharing
I feel like I'm always observing myself and molding me to make people happy. But suddenly I realized "I've been less than half myself for more than half my life". I have a problem in expressing my thoughts cuz it just seems like I'm going to bother. But in the middle of it all I feel like I'm not awake, I'm just inside of myself trying to find a way to get out of here. Am I ever going to be me?
update (September): So, I started going to therapy and it's been very helpful to me, I'm getting better at expressing myself and not feeling so insecure anymore. Of course there's still days I get anxious and feel all of it again, but not every day, and this is really good! Thank you guys for answering, hope y'all are doing fine.
Well said. You need to shine to discover who you are.
I feel the same as you do. I normally don't want to talk, because in my mind nobody cares about what I will say, What I like... It's so hard. I feel sometimes really sad and everything I wanted was to get out of it, this terrible feeling of not be useful, fun, talker... But thanks to God, I have a lovely family and I try to knowing myself more and more. And try to change the story of my life in my mind. It's changed everything. I hope you stay with us and fight against the bad feelings. The world is so big and the life is sort, so let's enjoy each day! Make plans, have big dreams, learn something new... And be alive. Kisses for you.
This is exactly how I feel
You’ve worded this perfectly. I feel there is a wall between my face and mind. My face never matches my emotions. I cannot express to people how I feel no matter how hard I try because a defensive mechanism clicks in, and there i am making them laugh, im not sure how i got there. Theres just static. I wasn’t paying attention.
i connect with this on a different level
“It looks like empathy
To understand all sides
But I'm just trying to find myself
Through someone else's eyes”
Wow. I just found out what the enneagram was about a month ago and through that I feel like I found a part of me that I didn’t really know was there or I didn’t know how to describe. But this line hits me. I always felt like I was a good person because I was empathetic. I could understand what other feel but now I know that yes I can understand it but subconsciously I have also been trying to figure out my own beliefs and who I am. This song really hit me. I’ve listened to pretty much all of your other songs but this one made me feel understood. I can understand others but I never know if they understand me but you do I guess and thank you.
"I've been less than half myself for more than half my life"
This song has touched my soul deeper than any other has before. This has been my story for years. The lyrics make me feel like it's always worth it to get up again and keep trying
To the person who's reading this,
You are loved,
You are worthy...
And greater things await you.
I am rooting for you. You will overcome. I love you.
Talk. Communicate. Reach out.
You are not alone. We are with you.
🤍✨
Thank you. I cried reading your encouraging words. Exactly what I needed to hear. 💝
Big big thanks 😊😘🥰 ♥️ and lot lot's of love
Know that there are still so many people who can understand and listen. There are still people who sees you and your worth. Keep going! You are always utterly worthy of love!
I wish but I cant 😥😥😔
I’m a 2 but most of the people I love most in this world are 9s. If you are a 9, know that you matter. Your voice and thoughts are valued and you are so precious just as you are. Thank you for being a safe place for us to land, but don’t do it at the expense of who you are. The world is better because you are in it ❤
my best friend is a 2, i am very grateful of them and i love them so much. i hope they know that im always here for them. and i hope u have someone who has your back as well.
Thank you for this comment. Honestly it has been very difficult for me to believe this recently so thank you for the reminder.
What do those numbers mean? Could you explain?
I feel like the personality trait nine is the most misunderstood and know that they are the second choice and has just accepted that now
"I have been sleepwalking since i was 14" and "how do i forgive myself for losing so much time " hit me hard everytime this is how i feel i've been drifting through live with no deatination or meaning . I don't know me anymore .....
This song hits me so hard. I'm not a Nine, but this song perfectly encapsulates the numbness I have struggled with throughout my Mom's battle with cancer and since her death
Praying for you ❤️ One day at a time let's feel the good and bad in a safe place:)
I wish you the best. I lost a family member a couple months ago and I know how tough it can be. ❤️
So sorry for you💛
For those who dont get what the numbers are for, here's the list for each numbers info:
One means the reformer
Two means the helper
Three means the achiever
Four means the individualist
Five means the investigator
Six means the loyalist
Seven means the enthusiast
Eight means the challenger
Nine means the peacemaker
"I'vee been less than half myself for more than half my life"
"How do I forgive myself for losing so much time"
I haven't realised until recently, how much of my life I've gone through with doubt on my mind. I feel like I've lost a sense of my own individuality trying to please everyone. I'd rather be someone else for others than to be judged for showing who I truly am. I'm so scared of driving everyone away, especially my family and friends who have stuck by my side for all these years. there's always going to be that lingering feeling of doubt in me and I hate how it took me my whole life to figure this out
My fiance and I did the test to figure out our numbers. Im a 2, he is a 9. He almost never shows emotion, and yet this song almost made him cry.
His passion died in his 20s. Being medically discharged from the armed forces, then seeing that he wasnt as good at math and science in college as he thought, it was so hard for him...
This song has pushed him to try and find a passion again. He said this felt like a motivstional speech that he needed to hear.
Im a nine as well and I also feel this song as a motivational speech, best wishes to you and your future? husband
I cried the first time i heard this song. I thought I was over it, but you just made tear up again. There are so many lines that hit really hard. I’ve been sleepwalking since i was fourteen too, just living life on autopilot, letting others make decisions for me. I don’t know how to regain the enthusiasm and energy that I had in childhood, but I know that I want to try. Wake up, stand up, wage war on gravity. Fight for causes I believe in. Change the world for the better, even if it’s just a little.
Thank you for all your albums, but this song especially.
💖
Well said.
I never really believed I was a nine. I took the test and just shrugged it off. Then I hear this. I burst out in tears out of nowhere. I remember being fourteen, walking home from school with an empty mind. Every single day until I am eighteen. And everyday, in every situation and confrontation- even those against me- I just...understand. So my heart breaks twice, for me and for those I am supposed to hate. I always believed my empathy a blessing when owned by someone whole-hearted. But I own half of everything, even my heart, so this gift is a curse instead.
I had to reply to this, because as a 9, this comment made me pause. I completely feel your hurt in believing that your quest to keep peace and carry empathy to those around you have led to a feeling that you are only half yourself. I have felt this way, too. But I found that this is not true! You are whole...just able to see others, which is beautiful. It is important to live in yourself, though.
I've found that taking things day by day and living in the moment, the now, is our true nature. This means that we can be ourselves fully. We can become active participants in our own lives by simply appreciating our ability to see all sides. If a nine (like myself) feels that they are only a part of themselves, I think that it's important that we see this as a reminder to refocus on our own practical way to apply our gifts. It's a lot, and complex...but that is who we are. Feel the beauty of your strengths...it's there, and it is whole. Like it says in the song...we must wake up to our tendency to bury ourselves so far into an identity that is not fully ourselves and follow the path we wish to take...day by day. It's up to us who we wish to be...we don't have to rely on others to live. Embrace your abilities :D
Recently decided to find out which enneagram type I am, purely out of curiosity.
Never did I expect to feel both *SO* called out, while simultaneously get so much clarity on things I've always struggled with understanding my whole life.
"Still, I check my vital signs.
Choked up, I realize
I’ve been less than half myself
for more than half my life."
"It looks like empathy,
To understand all sides,
But I’m just trying to find myself
Through someone else’s eyes."
These two hit home. This man, found the words to explain what I've been feeling from a very young age. I spent so much of my younger years molding myself to make others happy, or to fit in to someone else' expectations, that I didn't know who I was. For a long time. Finally, at 21 I decided that I had to give up on "who I was supposed to be" originally, and start anew. Because, so much damage had been done to my self awareness of my identity, that I had no idea where to even begin. I'm 24 now. Doing better, I'm at least aware of my "habits" so I know when I'm doing them and how to try and unlearn them (if possible).
I send my best to anyone who reads this ❤
“I’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes” t- that’s me🥺
Thought I was a 4 for a good while. Kept aggressively avoiding reading about 9s because that 'wasn't me'. Thanks for saving me some time.
I have found these to be so incredibly relaxing to listen to-for going to sleep, meditating, traveling, reading, doing homework, whatever. I'm a newer fan and can say with confidence that "Sleeping At Last" is one of the most influential bands I've ever come across and that its songs are truly art. It is soul put into music. And right now during quarantine it has been such a blessing to be able to listen to it. It helps take your mind off of all the bad happening, if only for a little while.
It's hard for me to admit that this song resonates with me most at my deepest core of self. I was in denial after listening to it for the first few times because i believed myself to be a different number, trying to justify being a perceived rarer or cooler number based on my life experiences and choices. Who am i kidding. I procrastinate like crazy, wasting so many years and always feeling like i've not realize my truest potential as a 9. Maybe because i've yet to learn and believe in the power of 9. Anyone on a similar path?
oh yeah, i totally relate. honestly i feel like the pandemic has killed my motivation to better myself and find my passion, which makes me feel even worse :(
I relate 100%. I also feel like there’s so much content out there nowadays about how people pleasing / self erasure is manipulation etc. and only the darker parts of this struggle are being discussed. I rarely see compassionate, loving content/anything about the power of 9s. (I know there’s more than just people pleasing but you know what I mean hopefully)
I find it quite fitting that I’m the last type on the enneagram, number 9. Because I always feel like I’m the last choice to everyone else
First off, I got to give credit to Kyra Hinton for this art, 'cause it's gorgeous. And to Ryan for this song. It's truly special. I will be 26 this summer and I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I'm a very introspective person and I always felt like I knew myself--my likes, my dislikes, my beliefs, my opinions--but it like there's something I'm missing. Maybe my purpose. I dunno, but I've wasted so much time looking for something--who knows what--and in the process I've lost touch with my heart. This song just speaks to me in ways I don't like to admit... But it's true, I'm always trying to find myself through someone else's eyes. Really, I know I should be trying to see myself through God's eyes.
I have the bad (?) habit of listening to music when I procastinate. I sort of came back full circle today, or maybe I'm just emotional and stressed lol. I discovered the enneagram thanks to these songs, I remember waiting for this song to release and just, not resonating with it as much as the others had done for me.
I took, and re-took the online tests, then tried again for good measure, then thought "hm, maybe it'll be better if I learn everything on my own and not let a test decide for me". 9, 7 and 2 were always numbers that got the top scores, and are also the types I relate to the most.
What amuses me the most is how much of a 9 I am. So much that I am still a little in denial about it. I've listened to this song, expecting to feel what other people feel when they finally find themselves in their own songs. But I always thought "This isn't me", or precisely: "I don't want this to be me". Thoughts like "There's nothing remarkable in being a 9" "Sevens are pretty similar, maybe I'm just a seven" "2 also fits a lot, but it doesnt click just yet"
So yeah, as I write all this, I'm still a little angry at myself for being a 9, we experience a lot of frustration, after all. And being told by websites your type has a tendency to be lazy and disconnected from life hurts a little. But after sobbing my heart out today after listening to this song again I think I finally understand type 9.
You still have more than enough time. All these years were not wasted. The big painting that is your life is not finished yet, and you're its artist, so don't drop the paintbrush just yet.
You want to do good like 1, you want to love and be loved like 2, achieve and be validated like 3, find yourself like 4, understand the world like 5, be secure and ready for any outcome like 6, seek happiness like 7, be strong and invulnerable like 8.
Well, you are a 9. Apparently its common to see a little bit of ourselves in every type. We want peace.
I think the definition of said peace is very broad, so I'll leave it up to you to choose what that means for you.
But I hope we all find it, especially the one within ourselves. I hope we finally accept the fact that 9 is just as important and unique and special as every other type. And be fully awake to feel it all happen in its entirety.
-
P.s: I'm still not sure what came over me when writting this. Part of me just wants to keep this all to myself. But I have a soft spot for old stories found in youtube comments. I wonder if I will find this comment years into the future, being a whole different person, but still the same somehow.
If you're reading this, I hope you have a fulfilling life
oh my god i relate entirely to this
my want for peace and harmony among people lead me to think i was a 2, and for the longest time even after taking tests i couldnt accept i was a 9 until i dug much deeper into it
the enneagran exposes you and st some point it hurts way to much to deny it
i hope a lot of people ha e an easier time accepting their type
What are even the odds. I was literally listening through the whole set for the first time and then the last uploads?
Torilinn Cwanek the same thing happened to me! These songs are all masterpieces :)
Same❤
"I'm just trying to find myself in someone else's eyes" hOLY SHIT, I'VE BEEN CAUGHT
as a 9 I was already crying half way through it but "a little at a time, i feel more alive. i let the scale tip and feel all of it. it's uncomfortable, but right" really made me sob
I'm almost graduating and since I was a child I haven't been able to feel much at all. I hid my emotions from everyone not wanting to cause worry, never voiced it when I felt hurt because it would cause conflict, I dulled myself on purpose so I would be so broken. As of now I'm rarely genuinely happy, although I laugh and joke a lot, I never feel angry because it feels like I'm being a horrible person if I do, and sadness makes me more apathetic than anything. I dont let myself feel, it's scary, complicated, it involves opening up to other people and that terrifies me, so being a shell of a person sounds easier. Everytime I tried to tell that to someone they wouldnt understand (mainly because of my poor communication and expression skills), so hearing it being so clearly put into words really hit different
I'm very thankful for this song, it's comforting, healing and encouraging at the same time. I hope all 9s out there have the courage to face life, I do believe we're gonna see that somethings are worth fighting for, including ourselves
Being a 9 and being friend with a toxic friend is really the hardest thing a nine could live since we forgive that person way to much we understand both sides (but the problem is that the toxic friend won't even think about your side so your literally erased when around that person). It was really a hard time for me but I'm out of it now it is still haunting me but I'll make it ill wake up and fall in love again. I hope it never happens to you my friends. Please listen to your feelings 2, not only pleasing others. And you deserve true love
i’m a nine and in a toxic relationship right now. I’m working on it.
it’s so nice to know i’m not alone in this feeling.
I have the same problem, but it was nice and reassuring to know i was not alone with this feeling. Thank you, best of luck to you both.
Being a nine in a toxic friendship was easily the hardest year of my life. You wanna forgive them for every little betrayal and it just builds up exponentially. Doing so much better now, and that experience helped me learn how to stand up for myself. It’s still unnatural, but that sucky time in my life lead to some serious growth to a healthier nine :)
I don't know if I'm a nine or four but i have been experiencing a toxic friendsip in the last few years and getting out of it really hurts me still. I'm so capable of seeing the good in the other person that when they give me attention i come back like nothing changed. But recently i realised that they only come to me when they find it hard and when i do they're never there. The thing is if they came once more I'd still be there for them no matter what. At that moment it feels nice to know their struggles but sometime later on you realise they just needed to tell their problems to someone they know will feedback. It's exhausting and leaves me feeling used and unworthy of a caring friendship. Fortunately, i have made two friends that I've known many years and I feel like are capable of meeting my needs too.
The most underrated singer ever, everyone.
Nothing is as harmonious as Sleeping at Last, my favourite singer.
So pretty... Anyone else think that Dodie and SAH should collab? I know they already did on “Four” but that didn’t include Dodie’s vocals. Both of them have a softness and thoughtfulness to their voices. And both of them are under-appreciated artists!
Wait, what did dodie contribute to Four?
edit: I agree, Dodie and SAH could make a great soft song
@@cityboundforest She played clarinet on the track! I agree though, it would be amazing to hear a vocal collaboration between them!
yessss or her covering one of his songs!!
oh my god, i never even knew that they collabed. i love them both so much, that would be so amazing
I remember when Atlas 1 came out and I would wait for each one to come out to listen to it immediately . Ever since he finished the last one I felt complete
God has truly blessed you with the gift of being able to convey, *truly convey*, what I think are some of the deepest, difficult to explain/express emotions within humanity... I've never heard music that does this.. That causes my heart to molt and come out renewed, better, afterwards. Your music is amazing. Thank you.
Background changing means something beyond ups and downs beyond light and darkness i think it’s how nines (i am one btw) could differ could change could even be mess like that messy tidal wave (i see it that way) like a huge wave of emotions that could turn you upside down but it also mess you again i think that’s my interpretation of “another domino falls “
I see the background flickering between black and light gray as someone trying to open their eyes, to wake up. Then they finally see the mess, the wave of emotions we hold inside ourselves as we sleepwalk through life.
@@hartbits_ 😱
@@hartbits_ Love this interpretation!!
I NEEDED THIS TODAY.
The struggle we 9s face every moment.. trying to comprehend our own thought but probably ignore them anyway to follow or be someone else. Why can't it be simple
It has taken a lot of time and work, and sometimes I still just want to stay under my covers and cry over myself, but I've finally learned that it's okay to love myself as much as I love others. I matter!
We 9s are fantastic in so many ways and I pray that the path you're on is leading you to the same realisation; 9s are equally good as any other number and you're presence on this planet matters as much as anyone elses.
I just heard of the Enneagram test from Jenn Im like 3 days ago and today I had the "Two" song in my suggested videos. (Thank you youtube for the great suggestions). I liked that song, looking at the comments I was confused "as a two I relate to this so much", I forgot about the Enneagram and was confused what "two" meant. But I found out, and decided to look up the song related to my results. It is this one...This made me cry so hard...I am still tearing up writing this comment. This song really describes how I've been feeling lately... "who am I?", "I have been sleepwalking", "wake up", "How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?". Reading the other comments make me feel even sadder, they describe me exactly...Though they offer some sort of reassurance that I am not alone. I was alright having others tell me what to do and thus having defined goals: school, then somehow I chose a college (though until the last moment I had no idea what I wanted to pursue), master's (choice based on someone else) and it's almost over and I have no idea who I am, what I want to achieve. It's so scary... I keep feeling like I wasted so much time, feeling like I am in a dream from which I just want to wake up. It's so sad that I think no one would understand this feeling if I would try to reach out to my friends/family, so I don't even try to talk about it...I try to be happy, I try to help others to make myself feel fulfilled. It just hits so bad sometimes...I don't wanna give up the fight though, I will keep moving forward.
Thank you anyone who shared their story in the comments and made me feel less alone. Anyone feel free to share yours.
I hope you have a good day.
i’ve been waiting for this. as a nine, i initially couldn’t connect to it well, but since starting to understand and come to terms with myself it’s been hitting deeper and deeper every time i listen. thank you, ryan, for your beautiful music.
I'm a Nine, and this broke me. I listened to it for the first time on the bus ride home from school and just burst into tears. I can't think of the last verse without crying. I feel like something in this song touched something at my core, a part of myself I feel like most people don't ever see. But oh, how I want them to see it. Thank you for giving part of my soul a voice.
I listened to this song for months before I even realized I even was a 9w1. I used it for writing inspiration for a character of mine (which just so happens to be an 8w9 on closer inspection now), but after listening to the podcast episode on Nine, and hearing what type Nines are like and what they often do... it clicked. the conflict avoidance, the hyper sympathy/empathy, the loss of self as the Nine absorbs into others: Every single thing Ryan said clicked with me. I had realized I had done all of it all of the time; and probably since I was 14 as the song says, funnily enough; which equally means I've been "less half myself for more than half my life", given I'm 21.
It was honestly a lot to take in; with each Type Nine trait and behaviour described, I saw myself in it more and more. it was almost overwhelming; I felt like I was going to cry, only for it to tell me that the fact I didn't actually cry was a Type Nine behaviour in itself: because Type Nines aren't often in touch with their own emotions since they're always so focused in other's emotions so that they stay out of conflict.
It honestly broke me open, and really made me really... find myself, in a way. at the same time though, I'm still showing the more negative behaviours, in retrospect. I can't seem to 'wake up [to myself]' and 'fall in love [with myself] again' as the song says to. to put it one way...
Rather than sleepwalking, like the song mentions, it's more like I'm lucid dreaming; aware that I'm asleep, but not actually awake.
... and I don't know how to wake up. I barely even remember what it means to be awake, per the analogy.
The dominos are still falling, anyways; and being 'lucid' is probably better than being fully asleep. I'm certainly optimistic about life; I've always been, but even with the map of self-redemption the song outlines, I wouldn't quite call myself the best at navigating it.
This song is so achingly beautiful.... It hurts, yet it heals at the same time.
A lovely song to shake you awake from lost hope and passivity.
Remember, we were all carefree and happy kids once. The sad reality is that as we grow, we tend to lose grip on the things that genuinely made us happy and let societal pressures shape us into something totally indistinguishable from what we truly were.
Hence, we start to live "less than half" ourselves "for more than half" our lives, thus falling into all sorts of emotional states that's often misperceived as 'weak'.
It's okay to struggle, people. It's human to feel downtrodden on rainy days. Just keep trying, there's nobility and courage in giving your all even if it seems fruitless. It will all add up. You are doing great just by being here.
This song, this is what made me realize what being a nine actually meant for me. Thank you so much, Ryan! Like I thought I was a five. For a long, long time. When the full album was released I went straight to five. The lyrics were great, and I thought, yeah I can sorta see that, but it didn’t really hit. Felt like just a big 5 stereotype almost. Which almost all five stuff did felt that way to me at the time. Then I just kinda left the album. Cut to about 6 months later. 5 just isn’t sitting right. I decide to look into 9. Everything lights up and makes sense. I finally listen to the album and two lines in… I’m in immediate emotional turmoil. “Who am I to say what any of this means? I have been sleepwalking since I was 14.” Replace 14 with 17 and you’ve captured my life story on two sentences. Utterly incredible. Once again. Thank you for this song of both understanding and hope!
“Remember who you are before the world told you who you should be.”
“i’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life” 🥺 reminds me so much of my grandmother. most selfless woman on earth. so busy taking care of everyone else since she got married 50 years ago that she’s never had the time to ever stop and think “myself, too.” i wish i could give her back all her time.
This song makes me cry every time l listen . As a nine this reminder that am find things to fight for taking the time to decide on things small and big and being proud that am doing it and leaning to show grace to my past self that part of lost time working on forgiving myself ooh hurts still
Oh my, the tears are real...
You make such amazing song.
So much heart and meaning in each one.
They truly are masterpieces ❤.
I'm grateful the Universe has put such an amazing soul on this planet.
Your music will always be held close to my heart.
Thank you so much for your music.
Dude, these lyrics!
"I've been half myself for more than half my life"
"I'm trying to find myself through someone else's eyes"
i feel the most beautiful part of this song starts at 3:18. The voices in the background, the musical composition, the emotion in Ryan's voice....so moving. These songs are one of the very few things that are getting many through these trying times. Thank you, Ryan.
its the “stand up and fall in love again” “its easier to forget” FOR MEEEE AGH
Your words are killing me. "So show me what to do to restart this heart of mine. How do I forgive myself for losing so much time." My 10 year old son died on January 2nd of this year. He took his last breath while I held him in my arms and told him that I love him. I constantly think could've, would've, should've. I feel guilty that I didn't take him to the doctor soon enough, that he didn't get enough medical attention, that I didn't ask enough questions. Wondering if there was something more I could've done. He was the love of my life. I love and loved him with every fiber of my being. It's hard to love yourself when your heart is in heaven with your son. I will never love myself. Sorry for rambling.
I’m not going to pretend I know exactly what you have to live with. Only you know your own pain. But I have to live with something similar. And I don’t really know the point of telling you this, since I can’t bring myself to believe it either. But driving yourself crazy with the “what-ifs” can’t do anything. For you or your son. You can’t change it. And that sucks, plain and simple. No one can make it all better. You’ve lost someone irreplaceable and you have to live with it. Not through it, like it’s some temporary thing, but with it.
But let me tell you, having pain in your heart does not mean you can never feel joy again. A part of your heart is gone but that doesn’t mean your heart can no longer grow.
You are by far the person whose life your son impacted most. He changed you, coming into this world and going out of it. Don’t let that be for nothing. Your son made a huge impression on you and your heart. And that impression is his legacy. The love that he left you is his legacy. So live out his legacy as best you can. Because he means something and so do you. If you love him then love yourself because you made him. And it was worth it.
I hope this helps you.
Wherever he is now, he wants you to be happy.
@@tai5707 awwwwww
"oh hey sleeping at last has a song for all of the enneagram types, lets listen to mine- oh cool now i'm crying"
Honestly, I did not expect to cry listening to this beautiful song. Did an enneagram test this morning because I've been wondering about it recently, and only listened to this song now. I didn't think that I could relate to the lyrics so much :( Tears just started to fall without me realizing about it lol. I don't know why, but maybe I felt comforted, and it felt like the things that I really needed to hear at the moment. I am not great at expressing my emotions so I do not understand myself all that well haha.
I feel like I have been living very passively since I was in high school. I don't have any goal, ambitions or things that I want to pursue and try to achieve. Yet, I keep waking up everyday, but I don't even know why. It felt like I'm looking forward to something, but I don't know what it is. There's that feeling of hope, yet I do know know what I am hoping for. Maybe there's a part of me that is feeling very optimistic.
Also, I feel like I have only living for others, because they are important to me but sometimes, I do wonder why I am here. Who am I? What do I want to do? That kind of thing. Sometimes, I am surprised that I am not 17 anymore, but 25. It felt like I haven't been living since then. I feel like all I've been doing is just surviving. How do I get out of the woods?
I'm a five and still I can relate to all of these songs T^T sleeping at last is the best name cuz i easily fall asleep to his songs
Same I'm a 5 as well
"another domino falls, either way" honestly this line makes so much sense to me. It doesn't matter what you do because something will always happen, you are always making choices and decisions and it never stops. Even if you stop it doesn't mean others will. And time always passes no matter how much you want to slow down or stop time, time keeps going with or without you.
I really loved this. I had never heard Sleeping At Last, but now I discovered an amazing band that writes with the soul.
I've spent over 1200 days in the hospital. 70 surgeries, 23 broken bones, above knee amputation and 4 months in traction in the Burn Unit. I've had to learn over and over. I helped so many throughout my days. I want to be fully loved and love myself. "This song like everyone of Sleeping At Last is a MIRACLE"
"How do I forgive myself for losing so much time."
I don't know how to put myself first in any situation. It could be life or death and I would throw myself under the bus before anyone else because I physically can't. I don't know how. I just sit with the heaviness in my chest and wish things could be different.
I don't know how to be authentically myself without losing everyone I love.
I don't know how to let myself be who I need to be for me.
I've accepted that I will live my life as the person people need me to be, but that doesn't stop it from hurting every time I hear someone call my name.
I hope you all find peace with yourselves my fellow 9's
Keep waging war on gravity.
I only recently found out the whole type thing from a twitch streamer called wilbursoot and I learnt I was a 9 so I sat a listen to all of the songs and as I got to this one, my one, I've never connected to a song so much. the line "to know and love ourselves and other well, is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do" hit me hard
sameee
When he broke my heart, I promised myself to never fall in love again, now I know that I have to fall in love again and again and again. Life is too short to stop loving.
Good luck finding love.
“I’ve been less than half myself for than half my life”
“There’s so much worth fighting for- you’ll see”
“How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?”
These words resonate within my being. Thank you for putting into words what I feel so deeply.
As someone who just learned of this personality thing.. And took a mini test.. Its opened up so much to me. To understand why I always putnothers before me, never picking true sides in fights and instead I see both sides and see the full story before picking. Why I always had trouble saying my issues to others.. Then I heard this song right now for the first time.. And I've realised.. No joke. I feel this way.
I've always written songs since I was 13, lose to the fourteen age, and relate to that one bit.. Sleep walking to me, is a metaphoric phrase saying "I can't go on yet my life says I must" thing. I've never had depression as far as am aware.. But I've always struggled to see a reason I am here other than as a side character in anothers story.. Perhaps this way, I can be the main in my own as I try to learn about what is making me.. Me.. a real person
as a fellow nine yes i relate to this alone, ive always been a side character or supporting character for everyone else and everyone is the main character of my life
i hope you learn who you are and what youre truly capable of
After listening to the first two songs I read a comment mentioning the inspiration behind them, went to take the test, and came straight here.
I didn't think this song would break me like this.
I'm not a 9, but my sweetheart is. We've been together for over 5 years now. I'm a 4w5. I didn't cry when I listened to 4 and 5 songs, but I did when I listen to this one. I thought about him and how I want to hug him so much. I am honored to be only love and how he still shows his appreciation and devotion, over and over again. It seems he's in a good place right now. It's the most beautiful thing, to see a 9 coming alive.
I cry every time. I really feel that we are old souls.
As type 9, we are practically the "Pisceans" of the enneagram.
I really do see every other type within myself and mistyped myself countless times.
This quote hit me hard :
"to know and love ourselves
and others well
is the most difficult
and meaningful work
we'll ever do"
❤I love you all❤
I’ve always struggled with what enneagram I am. 9 seems to be a good one for me. I’ve always never really felt like myself, worried about what everyone else thinks and putting their opinions higher than my own, even though I know I shouldn’t. Constantly in a worry If Im actually a good person and what my friends really think about me. Beautiful song. God bless.
“I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life” NO IM DEFINITELY NOT THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I CHANGE MYSELF TO FIT OTHERS IDEALS AND STANDARDS BECAUSE IM SCARED OF REJECTION AND JUDGEMENT
Same :(
Unfortunately, I've dealt with similar issues. Just be yourself is what I've learned. I know for a fact that there is someone out there who is struggling with the same battles. They could be someone you know, or they could be someone you have no idea exists. Just know that there is someone out there for everyone.
Almost a year after launch, but the feeling lingers.
This song was written for me. I'm not sure what my Enneagram type is, but this song describes me perfectly. I have so much regret and disappointment over life, especially the years 14-30. I'm 34, for context. Life has not gone the way that the child I used to be hoped. This song hits every raw nerve in the perfect way.
"It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes."
Yes. I have never felt more understood than by this statement. I have tried for so long to meet the needs and desires of everyone around me, almost always before my own. I guess in my mind I thought if I tried hard enough I could be seen as loving enough, kind enough, smart enough, hard working enough--to be loved myself. It's a terrible feeling, to feel you mean less to the people who mean the world to you. And no matter how hard you try, it will never be enough. But then, "waking up", I "realize" (in trying to be someone else for everyone else) "that I've been less than half myself for more than half my life." It's time to learn "my presence matters" in every room I'm in. God made me in his image and that means I am enough.
"WE WERE BORN TO TRY"... BEAUTIFULL
"I've been sleepwalking since I was 14."
Oof, I felt that...
I love this song so much...I'm a four but out of all the enneagram songs, this one resonates with me the most. It's a beautiful work of art ❤️
Same! I feel like as a Four it’s so hard to balance wanting to be 100% your own person with knowing that you’ll never really understand what it’s like not to NEED to be different. Not to NEED to ignore the beaten path and forge your own even though you’re confused what to do. Not to NEED to speak your truth and wonder if that makes you selfish. And you never get to know if you did the right thing. It can be quite lonely.
That’s just my experience. If yours is different, please feel free to share. I’d hate to put words in your mouth. Your voice is unique and special. 💙
“but i’m trying to find myself, through someone else eyes - so please show me what to do, to restart this heart of mine. how do i forgive myself, for losing so much time?”
as a kid many stuff occurred, i had undiagnosed adhd - inattentiveness since i was very young and never got a diagnosis until this year, already graduated from high school. when i was younger, i often told myself i wasn’t gonna make it to graduate. both because of my early depression and that fact of not being able to focus or make good grades in school.
from my adhd i see that i had lost track of time over the years and would let days, months, even years pass on. it wasn’t until my senior year i really notice i had let myself go, never noticing i was soon gonna graduate. i remember telling myself almost every night saying “i shouldn’t be here.” or “this isn’t how i planned it.” shortly after getting out from covid i had then dropped responsibilities for my classes but barely graduating.
i still can’t believe i’m here now, i still get chocked up thinking about how i planned to not go on the age of sixteen. yet here i am, nineteen with baggage but a diploma i guess.
i’d wished my time blindness wasn’t a thing, it’s gotten to the point where i’ll even disassociate for a good while. it can work in some cases but now it’s just a pain in the ass.
i’m trying to better myself but it will take me a while before i can’t get where i need to be. i want to be good for the people around me but i don’t want them to know my struggles - i can’t see myself through others eyes but i know they either look at me and feel pity. but it’s the gross pity where they make it turn back on you as it’s your fault.
i want to love myself but i need to learn to love my brain the way it is, but that’ll take time. i’ve neglected my own brain and it in turn let me go through life simply just existing. i need to accept that i am *here* and it’s here i’ll stay.
I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. Thank you for your music, from the bottom of my heart ❤️