There Isn't One Way - Pt. 2 | After Love | S3E2
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- Melanie Fiona & Jared Cotter and Roslyn & Ray Singleton return to explain how they got through their personal barriers to commitment and what they learned about marriage early on.
#BLafterlove #afterlove
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“Maintenance is better than repair.” Love that take on therapy 🙏🏽
Yes, that was a word! Adding that to my tool box. Whew, great discussion.
That was a perfect analogy!
Yaaas! I felt that in my soul! Fantastic analogy that I never thought of to that extent. Why is Black Love ending🤯?!? We need this show in our lives😩!
The way Jared looks at Mel when she talks… whew! He loves him some her! Tommy & Cote’s relationship is interesting… she always seems more “present” than him but obviously ppl are different in real life. Roz & Ray are genuine soulmates fr.
I think Tommy is trying to distinguish the difference between talk therapy (which is what the couples are referring to) versus engaging in activities that are therapeutic for you. Not everyone benefits from or is ready for talk therapy but we all need outlets that we need to tap into that prove to be therapeutic (e.g. meditation/prayer, art, journaling, disconnecting, etc.)
You articulated that so well sis!
Well said!!!
Wow. Good point.
The right type of therapist for a person might inspire these alternative outlets. E.g. it wasn't until I met my therapist that I really got the idea of journaling moments as a I feel them, so I can have some nuance in my perspectives.
@@empress2024 totally agree!!
“Maintenance is better than repair.” Profoundly simple statement. I love this so much. I need another episode.
I am a therapist. I have enjoyed listening to how helpful therapy has been to each of you. Tommy is expressing what many people feel about therapy. It is fair that he feels as he does. Thank-you for reminding me that what I do impacts people in a positive way. Pat Lissade, LCSW-R
the way Jared looks at Melanie though while she is speaking, goals!! so beautiful (also, love Melanie's top, the colours are 😍)
Yes! 🙌🏽
This group is it! They're dynamic is great. Hopefully they can keep some of your ideas for BL going!
This ENTIRE series has been most therapeutic. God bless thee Oliver’s.🖤
I love it!! It's the guys trying to bring Tommy's behind the scene emotions out loud & the ladies were not having it, lol! Oooo Tommy's feelings toward therapy are my husband's thoughts to the T 👏....he says his "therapy" happens with conversations from ppl that know him and not have to learn him....another great episode!
Maintenance is better than repair. That line right there is deep.
R.I.P to a phenomenal woman. Rest well ☺️
The introvert was introverting in to his hoodie...lol. I loved it. 😂
These two couples are the epitome of crazy, sexy, cool 😎. Amen for Black Love!!! 🙌🏾
I see how black men can say they don’t feel heard and I also see how WE black women can sometimes take advantage of finally getting the chance to be heard. Communication is definitely an art and in our community I think it’s something we really need to work on, HEAVY….
Finally getting the chance? Lol
All valid points on therapy.
Some people go to clinical therapist.
Some people go to "Peer support groups."
Peers sharing can be someone's support.
I love the conversation around counseling/ therapy. It's a great investment in any relationship that's for the long run. This style of unity and communication is top tier. I love my Black people.
This was so good seeing these couples interact with each other and for Ray and Roslyn it made me feel sad because Roslyn pass away from her illness around 3 months later on November 15, 2022 while sleeping peacefully at home where she wanted to be. This type of cancer you usually don't live for 10 years but her determination and willingness not to give up made it happen. Bless her our mighty Lord please. I give it up to her because she was so very strong and I do believe like her husband Ray said she earned her wings in a statement when she pass away and so true. And I believe that she won because she never ever gave up the fight with her illness at all. And Ray was a very good husband to her and right by her side ever step of the way like a real man is suppose to do for his wife. She is an example of what strength really is and especially after all she had been through to show people you can continue to keep moving forward not give in to give up. Bless her husband Ray and I give my condolences to him and the family. She is an angel in heaven for sure. 👼🕯🕯🙏
Tommie is so stubborn and set in his ways i couldn't deal with a man like him he is def made for Cody! Bless Em!
“I’m a mean girl”. “I’m a mean girl”. You don’t have to keep saying you are mean. You are beautiful! Strong and courageous.
Yeh, that was unnecessary. We get it, and you already give off those vibes. It's like she says it as a defence mechanism or something.
"She make me better", i like that.
Yes my sister. Maintenance is always better than repair.
This was a great convo. Loved seeing all of the different points of view. I am a fan of therapy, but I also understand Tommy’s POV as well.
Rest in Love Ros! One of my favorite couples ❤️❤️
OMG, I am so slow, I just realized that this is Melanie Fiona. WOW!
Thank you to Tommie and Codie for these amazing videos and this wonderful channel - they are a gift.
Wait a minute.... this is actually therapy ❤️
Thank you so much Tommy & Cody for this wonderful platform. Can't wait to see what you'll do next.
Great discussion! Wow, Tommy made a great point about therapy. But, I understand it's only a tool if needed. But, my favorite takeaway was "maintenance is better than repair". That just reminded me how important it is to do regular check-ins on my job, with my family n friends! This was soooo good to listen to from these beautiful brown couples! I hope there's another Black Love season headed our way!
Roslyn is a piece of work. Ray is a good dude for dealing with all of that. She's an admitted "mean girl" and if I saw her in a club and she looked at me and said while pointing at me "Look at him with them stupid ass sunglasses on!", she wouldn't have gotten any of my time AT ALL!! When you deal with folks with no filter or the person who as in Ray's words, is "trained to go" you can lose yourself in the relationship because you're always managing them or the situations you're in together.
I actually got excited when she said that because as loving as I am I'm raising a mean daughter and she gets this from my in law side of the family but Rosalyn gives me hope that the right guy will come along and love my daughter pass those moments because when she not mean she is fun and funny, loving, smart, and she is loyal.
@@oedivci Hopefully she grows out of that. You may want to explain to her that people, especially when they're growing up, always remember folks who were mean to them, and not in a good way.
@@mickyfingaz For sure. People may forget your name but they will never forget how you made them feel.
She explained that she’s not really mean; the title “mean girl” is more so describing her no- nonsense and honest approach to things.
I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t have the pleasure of meeting her in the club because she’s found her person and it doesn’t bother him AT ALL. Everyone is different-instead of judging a stranger off a 30 minute video, be happy that she’s happy with who she’s supposed to be with 😁
To add, therapy tailors their sessions to each and every client. Not one size fits all.
Das mit den OPs, das war süß. Zucker.
Another great way to look at therapy is to think of it more so under the umbrella of general health. You have to maintain your physical, mental, and spiritual health. It is a piece of the maintenance but is most definitely not one size fits all. Just like you go to an unbiased doctor (hopefully) for your body, it is important to do the same for you mind and then the same for your spirit. Great conversation!
These couples and conversations were beautiful and inspiring, both individually and as a whole! Love, Love, Love! Great Work!
I absolutely LOVE how y’all all just vibe and gel sooo well!!
I'm going to miss this show. Thanks for the content.
Families have done what therapy does for centuries for BP. People that have strong supporting families and friends have therapists and therapy regularly
"Maintenance is better than repair..." Wow! 😲
Melanie Fiona looking out for Codie!
I hear what Tommy was trying to say regarding therapy but he never mentioned what the alternative options were… or if he engages in them . He sort of dodged that when Roz asked him, like he dodges every other question lol
I love the conversations on love and relationship. It’s the black love for me ❤️
This is so beautiful I enjoy watching these episodes,thanks for sharing…Black Love is Beautiful 💕💜
LOVE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT THERAPY!👏🏾👏🏾❤️❤️
Tommy just doesn’t want to admit that he is opposed to therapy. There are also various types of therapy that you can choose from. Come now!
Thankful for this series!💞💓Keep educating, encouraging and inspiring the community.💃🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Oh Lord Melanie doesn't let her husband finish talking. He seems to have sensible things to say but she constantly interrupts him!!! Let the man talk!!!!
Thought the same
The mean girl was the same 🥴
@@GoogleAccount00 Oh my goodness, Yes! They both annoyed me ... did they not learn that in therapy !
Why the hell are these women so beautiful 😍 omg!
We all need to DO THE WORK and be WHOLE before entering a relationship
I agree with Tommy about therapy not being right for everyone. If one has great self-awareness & good outlets for communication (friends/family), then that may be sufficient.
You All are much needed examples and thanks!
Why is this the last season? I'm not done yet :(
This was beautiful!!! This is my favorite episode
Cody, sounds like he is in denial!!! LOL
I could see Tommy build a wall. Not a good sign... 😕
I don't blame him
Life is going to life.... Wow so profound. And maintenance instead of repair. ❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰
"We can grab lunch" yea ok 😂🤣
Thanks you because you blessed me through yours testimonies 🌟
You will truly be MISSED!!! 😫😫😫😚💋
This was so good, and I can't wait to see more!
Always amazing!! Great talks!! Yes I agree about individual and couples therapy!! 💜
Love everything about this episode 💜
Love this conversation!
I am mad @ myself I have missed another episode!!!!!! 😖
Excellent conversations ❤
Therapy is not a cookie cutter thing, there's different types. So it's good to figure out what works for you.
I absolutely love 💗 these episodes 😍
I loveee this group 💐❤️
I loved watching this.
What is marriage therapy? Premarital counseling? Therapy is healthy for all humans in relationships for life
This is a good episode
I like this and these couples!
Tommy sounds like the actor from "A Different World" that was Dwayne's Best Friend, to me.... 🤔
He reminds me of Elvin from the Cosby Show.
@@misst3016,
Yes him
That Tommy is a hand full. He needs therapy! He has a Heart Break story that he is more married to than his wife. I really question are they happy? And I’m not saying therapy is the cure for all relationships but the way he presents is so shut down which to me creates a lot of manipulation and it’s exhausting. Girl I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Melanie and Jared are so cool
Need a “LOVE” option… IJS 🤷🏾♀️🥰🥰 continued blessings 🙏🏾💞
That was Beautiful
This was so entertaining
I love this!!!
Love this
✨Good Stuff! ✨
I wholeheartedly agree with Tommie; and without his vision, none of us would benefit from this show. Solute king!
Love love love
Good talk. I disagree with Tommy but respect his view. Therapy is not one fits all. Each therapist is different and there are different types of therapy. I’m curious what other ways he’s dealing with life.
It's clear therapy doesn't work because they would not let him talk , so I don't blame him
Tommy is so avoidant
Black Love ❤️❤️
Come for me when you know I’m your person! Period….!
👏👏
ladies, my goodness, please let the men talk geez
Rosalyn's has good points, but the vulgarness of her language is a little too much. JMO
I would hate to see their marriage fall apart because of a conversation about therapy.
I don't understand how someone with the Holy Spirit can say that everyone needs to go to therapy. Joyce Meyer, Tyler Perry, and others overcame horrible childhoods by God's grace and wisdom without going to therapy so it can be done. Esp with the amount of self-help resources today. And I've been to therapy but I've definitely found more help from podcasts and asking God to reveal my heart. He will.
So the Holy Spirit takes away the need for therapy, but not podcasts? Interesting
@@RahYisrael99 I didn't say Christians shouldn't go to therapy; I said everyone doesn't need it. Therapy can help some people overcome some things but I would personally never say a Christian needs it bc nothing is too hard for God. His Word is active. His Spirit is alive.
The two husbands that are guest are so transparent. Jared is sitting there like a bump on a log. Why is he there?
Let no foul or corrupt communication come out of your mouth if you profess to be a follower of Jesus Christ.
👏👏