Wife's Traumatic Accident Made Her Desperate for Validation From Another Man Who "Saved Her" and...
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
- Wife's Traumatic Accident Made Her Desperate for Validation From Another Man Who "Saved Her" and Destroyed Our Marriage.
Timestamp-
0:00 - Story 1
8:27 - Story 2
#redditrelationship #redditupdate
Man its hard to look at OPs opinions about friends of the opposing sex when he was absolutely right the one time his wife had a male friend
At least he was also following his own rule (from what the post says) so he wasn't doing a "rules for thee, not for me" situation
he was absolutely right for a reason, his views on the subject are not "opinions"
Lol, she literally proved him right. Platonic friendships can exist but most of the time one party always had sexual interests in mind.
Sure, platonic friendships with the opposite sex can exist.
But one of y'all's gonna look _BUSTED_ 😅
@@ikaniitoshiThey “can” but majority of the time they can’t. Most of the time the man who’s friends with the woman is playing the long game, and often times the woman is keeping him around as a backup plan. This happens way too often for it to not be a problem. How many stories are there saying “He/she is like a brother/sister to me” only for them to cheat together or for that person to leave them for their friend the second things go south. It is not controlling to expect your partner to respect your boundaries, if they don’t like it they can leave. If that is considered controlling then no one should be allowed to have any boundaries or deal breakers at all. How many successful relationships do you know of where the girl is constantly hanging around other dudes, or vice versa? I don’t know if a relationship like that that’s worked personally. My parents and friends all don’t do anything like that because relationships like that almost always fail so if you value your relationship you simply won’t do it.
I feel so bad for the FIL in the first story... his wife cheated on him, and now his daughter does the same to her husband. Maybe this IS a curse... I'm surprised he didn't disown the daughter.
I just can't understand that woman's reasoning. Like she was saying the guy was validating her and what not, but that's BS. He was an attractive man that she saw as a hero. He was likely saying all the same things her Husband did. With 2 main differences: He was attractive and was just wanting to fuck her. The guy has likely done the same shit before.
I think there is something to it, actually. There are studies that seem to be proving 'kinks' run in families, suggesting either through trauma or genetic coding certain interests are passed down through generations. Cheating/Adultery/Unfaithfulness is very much an active kink, and may have been passed down.
It still would not explain away ACTING on that interest, however. I have 2 primary sexual interests myself and in 15 years with my husband I have never acted on them. I haven't even TOLD him one of them, because I know HIS limits and I know HE could never fulfill it. So why make him feel like shit knowing there is something he "can't do for me" when he's perfectly fine as he is? I get my other interests filled, and those he can't I do myself, alone.
Apple won't go too far from its tree, unless it's on a hill
not a curse, just cheating genetics
All kids learn from their parents. Whether they learn the right lesson or not is up for debate.
"She lost her identity"
She never had an identity to begin with, she essentially just behaved like she was told to until she decided to take her life into her own hands after the accident and went straight to being a cheating PoS
Honestly I pity her. Cheating POS, yes, but the way OP describes her screams of someone who genuinely felt they had no control in life. People like that often dont put much importance on having agency in their life or have much self worth. They end up basically becoming a part of someone else's plan rather than their own. They're perpetually miserable and unsatisfied because no decision they ever make is truly their own. Any validation they get is always from external sources rather than themselves. Any relationship with people like that is doomed from the start.
@@guffalump756Dude, that's actually pretty damn deep.
How can you blame her for not having an identity when he impregnated her at 22. That's way to young to even think about children. How does anyone in the universe expect someone whose brain maturation is not even finished yet to know themselves? The cheating was terrible but she essentially became babytrapped and that's the cold hard truth. There is no building your own self anymore while simultanously raising children it's all about them everyday for the rest of the parents life. Identity finding needs to happen up until 25, sometimes even 28.
@@user-sm6od4tx2pshe could have had an abortion and didn't, stop victim blaming the op
He had children too by the way, and yet he didn't become a monster, so what
@@randomusername3873 What the wife did was awful and User said as much. You can't deny that, the wife was upset about the pregnancy and OP talked her into taking it as another one of life's challenges. OP was also minorly controlling about having friends and didn't trust his wife with a man from day 1. He also doesn't trust even himself around female friends because of the "temptation." Honestly, it sounds like he may have been just as insecure as she was. Those two weren't a good match to begin with.
The fact that she imediately changed her ways for the sake of this random dude shows that she never cared about her busband and children
What a monster
Or it's poorly written rage bait. I mean 50 tea candles in the basement?
@@RequiemPoeteyup lol, still fun to watch, its good garbage.
It's normal that a near-death experience really shakes up your outlook on life and befriend the person that helped you. But the fact that her and that man threw caution to the wind and had an affair knowing that she's married is completely ducked.
The family curse seems to be every man who married them would end up getting cheated on.
I wonder if there was any real lack of communication from OP in the second story, or if it's just the ex gaslighting him... in any case, cheating = end of relationship, PERIOD.
I'd bet a chunk of change she never cared to actually bring up issues. You don't expect the Fire Department to just show up to a fire if they aren't told about it. Can't communicate if the other person doesn't want to.
story 2: i feel like the lack of communication excuse has run its course, you cant be complaining about your partner not communicating whereas you are doing the same thing, relationships are a two way street.
It's like op never saw how a woman act when ask to take responsibility
DARVO tactic in full effect.
It hasn't run it's course. It doesn't have a course. The cheater saying "I HAD to do this because you..." is always wrong. You didn't HAVE to do anything. The fact that those words even came out of her mouth is ridiculous. I wouldn't even have entertained the conversation after she said that.
The fact the "hero" of story 1 didnt try fot a relationship after wrecking her marriage (with her help ofcourse) shows he didnt even care. Honestly i expected that the guy with his fast response was gonna end up being the 1 who ran her off the road
Luckily I've never been in a tragic or serious accident. But seeking constant validation from someone can be damaging.
Damaging, yes. Was that type of a person, but kinda grew out of it and learned to deal with my insecurities other ways through therapy.
Note that this happened when I was with my ex, who at the times made it even worse with some of her comments.
BUT NEVER DID I CHEAT ON HER. NEVER, EVER. That sort of stuff just doesn't happen If you value the other person, the concept of loyalty and relationship.
She ended up cheating on me though and we broke up on "friendly terms" before I knew she cheated. Can you guess why? "She wanted to be free to meet new people and get the butterflies, attention and validation again." I guess validation from me just wasn't enough.
After watching these videos I have decided to live the rest of my life as a eunuch in a British monastery
Just don't get married without prenup.
@@Gwynbleidd21but emotional damage is still caused
Smart choice. Women aren’t built for staying in marriages if they have other options.
@@aarya-fn7ys yes, get compensated for that ;)
like aarya mentionned, no prenup can protect you from the trust issues you get later@@Gwynbleidd21
Story 2
The "main issue" is your fiance is still childish" and wont own up to mistakes.
Your about to marry the guy and still nervous to bring up problems? Be an adult, you're about to marry the man.
Crazy how AP didn’t lose his job and didn’t suffer any consequences. He helped destroy someone’s marriage while the baby was in the house!
16:20 She is agreeable because she wants out, bad.
She has her new bf even though she refuses to call him that.
Story 2. If she cheated cause she didnt communicate to him and therefor say he didnt communicate thats clearly both sides but doesnt justify cheating. Than to say as the cheating party that not wanting to continue a 7 year relationship with a cheater is somehow OP's fault is astounding
yeah OP is wrong to have that opinion about friends of another sex, but where he's not wrong is when she asked to go have drinks with AP instead of setting up dates with her own spouse, since she was feeling better about going out again. The fact that his wife didn't mention finding the guy that saved her, or told OP that she had invited him over, are definitely clues that she was unwilling to be forthcoming and had something to hide from OP.
The first story: Its not that the wife can't have friends it more so you can't have this one friend who saved you , kept a secret from me, invite the man to our house without telling me, and do her best to just hide him from me. There's a difference
Nothing about the "hero" firefighter doing someone elses wife??
Was hoping to hear AP from Story 1 got some form of punishment
Bastard probably does that shit often. I mean, he was grilling at another person's home without everyone being in agreement. He knows she's married with a baby, and decided going at it on a pool table and ignore the baby.
Don't agree with story 1 on having a SO be the sole emotional support. However the cheating wife is absolutely in the wrong
Whelp, because of her, he’s gonna really stick to his mentality now. His opinion has been validated by his own experience.
If OP from second story sees this.
Be very care about an ex like her. she still blames you and one will start to realize she messed up and is gonna be in debt with finding a house, barn for horse and 3 dogs, her AP isn't gonna stick around for long so she might come crawling back asking for forgiveness without an apology then when you say no to her.
Well let's not beat the Bush. She'll be going crazy and will want to take or ruin everything for you, so I'd gathering evidence together against her (possibly ap too because she spin a different to him) as a just in case if she'll start claiming you abused her and animals too. So be careful op.
I know from firsthand experience.
You're having an affair and you want to be the most discreet as possible so your SO won't find out, then you decided making out with your AP at your own house with 50 candles and rose petals all over the place 💀. Love how these fake stories goes from 0 to 100 out of nowhere lol
They’re all AI written nowadays. They don’t do well when the stories are too long. Details get twisted.
I'd be ballistic. Especially since the daughter was alone crying, while she was getting fckd. I'll be honest all of the people in the story besides the daughter and cheaters dad are kinda awful.
how was op terrible? 😂😂😂 the only terrible people were the cheaters
My only wish is for incels to realize having a woman in your life isn’t all that it’s made out to be. It’s time and resources you can spend on things with much more return. Control your lust and envy, and you’re golden.
"Traumatic Accident " sounds like an excuse to cheat.
I swear if someone says som like "he didn't love her since he didn't try to to fix the marriage" or "he should have forgiven her since it was just a mistake" nu-uh d-i-v-o-r-c-e (first story)
So if you catch your partner with someone from a department that serves the public and bring it to their attention. Like, that is a big deal. I have seen it follow a guy to three departments just from one screw up. He worked with a non-profit I have been working for off an on the better part of my life. He saved a woman from some situation in Texas. I can't remember specifics and then started sleeping with her. Destroying her marriage in the process. An that followed him to every place he worked from my understanding. Like even the non-profit I remember got a copy of the video sent to email and flier's with still images saying, "Can you trust Bryan." It was bad for the guy and he deserved it. I wish I knew that whole story but I only know the minor details as I was witness in one of the discussions. Per policy 2 witnesses are required any time someone is having a review or is called in for a meeting, Crazy stuff. I'm at PA now and I see crazier stuff down in K&A and have stories that would seem like they were fake but if you know K&A in PA then you would know that place is full of crazy shit.
Not to justify cheating but for the first story it's more than it seems, she was young and had a unplanned pregnancy and not just the family curse postpartum depression is something and i feel that was what she was going through, i feel the husband have a big part on pushing her, he could have made few more efforts knowing her state like considering therapy, make her go out and helping her feeling beautiful.
Also i am not really fan of what he said about she is beautiful in his eyes and that should be enough, no every human has their own identity to make it fine you should have done something to feel her beautiful for her own sake like giving her a woman parlour date and also trusting her , making her go out with any people irrespective of gender
Would have made her confident and trustworthy in herself, in your eyes and to your marriage
She made a immature decision to make herself happy and validated
But still once a cheater always a cheater, it's hard to trust anyone after cheating
Not wanting your partner to have a friend of opposite gender is not uncommon and not unjustified at times. Sharing a friend is a bit different but that wasn't the case here. As for the pregnancy they were already married so its not a baby trap. As for making her feel beautiful there is only so much he could do. As he stated he tried to get her to go out with him, offered to buy better cloths to make feel better about her look, offered to workout with her to encourage her to fix her negative body issues. You can take a horse to water but you cant make it drink. Therapy would probably been a good idea but isn't a popular thing depending on where you live and may have just resalted in her leaving him and taking the kid because she was bored and making excuses. She made it clear she didn't want to change for him or her self but was more then happy to put in some effort for some Strang.
@@traviscumbest3946 this points are valid and could be right but it seemed pregnancy changed her so that could have been postpartum depression, so there's should have more care needed but i am not justifying her actions those are wrong and there should be consequences.
Postpartum depression is not an excuse for cheating. You can't really blame the husband because he's not a trained specialist plus you can only help a person who's suffering mentally only if the person is willing to accept your help. When you do it forcfully it only makes it worse. All that "giving her a woman parlour date and also trusting her , making her go out with any people irrespective of gender" would've brought the same outcome her decision was made long ago.
Second story... guy made a mistake by admitting she had a valid point concerning "lack of communication" she will take that as him admitting is his fault she cheated
dude am i crazy or is this channel repeating stories recently? story 2 i already heard
Just skip it if you have already heard
@@athrunmoza8996💯💯
there are a lot of reddit story channels that use bots for voice over and gameplay in the background, you probably heard it from a different channel and didn't realize it, lol
Story #1 there a thing call hero syndrome, I think where a female falls for any first responders
Because they save their life… it’s a thing that happen
The first thing they do is flip their shit on you
Runs in the family 😂
The saddest thing in the second story is splitting the dogs. If I adopted a dog or two with my SO, there's no way I'm giving any of them up when we split. Sure, it can stay with you, but I want to be able visit and see him/her too.
Edit: Oh. He just agreed to not see the dogs ever again.
Why she gets 2 dogs and a horse initially is beyond me. 1 or none is just so stupid.
Ugh.... I hate people like OP
Trying to reason with unreasonable people is an exercise in futility
"I cheated on you because you work too much to pay the bills, support me/give me time to myself. You don't pay enough attention to me and when you do I'll just ignore you and spit on ur efforts. But I'm not going to tell you that. Instead I'm going to be an a$$, cheat on u flip it to make it ur fault than bad mouth just because..."
--S2 OP's Ex
That second story is annoying. That fiance is heartless
1:09 Nah bro gonna stay childfree .
I know this is fake but still
I mean I don't and can't agree with his views. If you're that weak that even having a female/male friend is tempting for you then you don't need to be in a relationship 🤷♀️ yea she cheated on him and proved his suspensions but it wasn't because they were friends. She was already looking for him when she woke up. She already wanted him. The friendship was just a cover up/excuse
8:12 But why are they bitter?
She can go be happy with the fireman. Out of daddy's house with her hero to be impressed. She should have jumped at the chance for divorce.
Probably took her about 2 weeks to realize that someone that is going to help her cheat is not going to be someone you want to be with.
I am pretty sure the wife had postpartum depression
Am I the only one that also feels bad for the wife in the first story? It honestly sounds like she was traumatized ans should have gone to therapy after her mom's passing and that she definitely had some sort of post-partum depression. Not accusing Op of being a bad husband, but she definitely needed help and I dont it know if a person in that state should have become a stay-at-home mum at such a young age. She probably felt trapped but was to depressed to do something about that. And honestly Op, sounds a bit like he is someone that just fights through struggles?
Still cheating terrible and there should have been better communication on her side, but I still feel like there's more to the story :/
Did the wife in the first story do something wrong? Absolutely, not only going behind her husband's back but also leaving their daughter crying in her room while she was having sex is just horrible. BUT, I also think OP here has a bit of a stick up his butt so to speak. Saying that a marriage means to just trust in yourself and your spouse to fulfill all your emotional and physical needs (really, what are other friends for then?), saying you can't have friends of a different gender, saying all of the choices she makes should be for her family and not for her own selfish desires... Sure, this was a bad choice but it just gave me the icks listening to the guy. I think it's a very black and white way of looking at things. It makes me wonder if there were underlying issues that she tried to discuss with him but would hit a wall every time and him just saying she was wrong and shouldn't want anything. I also think there is a difference between having feelings or wanting someone, or actually acting on this. I don't know, I just feel like there's probably a lot more to the story.
Story 2 Ex: You don't communicate! ....neither do I, but I have an excuse!
Damn its hard to feel bad for OP. He sounds so… stuck up…
Story 2 ❤😊
You've already featured the second story on your channel before!
These stories sound fake imo because *all* of them are written so professionally, & then op magically finds someone each & everytime so soon after.
On story 1: OP is the AH, not allowing your wife to have friends who are the opposite gender, it reads like incel codswallop.
Op should sell the house and move to a place that fits him and his dog with a guest room for family, friends or future kids im a small house person less is more type not a minimalist but why pay more if you dont need the space plus its easier to move on if you redecorate to your tastes. Op didnt do anything wrong being the primary earner the house spouse has the obligation to make communication steady and down time relaxing and comfortable allowing romance to be natural.
She chose to cheat not because op was a bad spouse but because she wanted the attention of dateing not the daily grind and trial of love that is standard now days.
Ie love is boreing its allways there for you but dateing isnt love its hype and lights.
Sure you should occasionally date your spouse but you need to value them more fir the boreing daily grind that you only do out of love.
Can u make ex girl friend tried to kidnap my sister and dog but when she say me she said that I had kidnapped my sister and dog
Second story is a reupload :(
what is it with highschool sweethearts, getting married, and then when they get into an accident one of them cheats 🤦♀️
i can see how people see OP's behavior towards his wife and call him controlling and misogynistic but this seems like the exception to the rule that opposite sex friends can have strictly platonic friends without it turning romantic and/or sexual. she used the guise of a 100% platonic male friend to have secret affairs.
yeah trauma does stuff to people, but suddenly deciding to have an affair with your platonic friend because of trauma? that's like, using your trauma to excuse crap behavior. i get this was basically her coping mechanism, but her coping mechanism totally destroyed her marriage for literally no reason. it kinda seems like she was just using trauma to justify adultery. which is bad because it makes it look like anyone trying to cope with trauma may suddenly cheat on their S/O, which is a bad response to trauma. actual healing has to do with paying attention to the wound via antibiotics and bandaids, not ignoring it whilst putting ointment on an unaffected area, you know?
however, i am not saying OP in story 1 is right. no, you shouldn't rely soley on one person for your physical and emotional well-being, since everyone has friends and may go to them for a bit of emotional support when conflict occurs. that is controlling behavior, and it seems like he is being a bit toxic in response to being cheated on. which will be bad for his future relationships if he is being controlling and toxic. but i mean, it's his problem then if he chooses to be an ass.
S1. Probably fake but The wife is definitely in the wrong . And the OP sounds like he has issues
No OP just sounds like a decent and very simple man...
@@AECH_CHop is a man of morals
@@hashakahwantstorepent.4176 I am not questioning his morals. But his words of not talking with girls so that he doesn't give to temptations. It sounds off. Its like saying he can't have girl friends and she can't have boy friends. I do understand why people think like that. But for me it's weird
@@thelightedghost Is it weird? Absolutely, it sounds a bit controlling but man the one time it was put to the test his wife cheated on him so that idea is pretty much hammered into his head for the rest of his life as correct
@@theseeker9442she was gonna cheat whether she had male friends or not.
"I didn't have any female friends because I refused to give temptation an opportunity"
THAT is how it should be and how the default societal boundary should be structured - saves a looot of drama for all parties.
uh-huh. Just say you have no control over your urges and you see the opposite sex just as a sexual opportunity (goes both ways)
Nah. I have attractive female friends and I wouldn't even think of touching them because they're off limits. Honestly, it just shows poor decision making and disloyalty if you act out..
Sorry, but that comes off more as they can't hold themselves back. Don't get me wrong, I see the reasoning, doesn't make it better, op was in a way proven right. Yet it doesn't sit well with me. It just sounds like taking steps backward from being a better society. Yet doesn't seem like we are progressing either.
@@pkojo No I actually think the way OP formulated it is really clear and straight forward - it's about not giving opportunities - or call it risk management or whatever.
You are ofc of a different opinion and are allowed to think so, but I really like the way OP phrased this.
@@C.G.Gaster Idk I don't live for "principles" or abstract ideals and this is a very pragmatic solution to an omnipresent problem. The way it was phrased is really clean and straight forward. One could also just call it risk management - people just aren't made to be monogamous by nature - that's a biologically proveable fact... Yet if we talk about connections that are made for long time periods or forever, relying solely on trust is just very stupid and naive - OP was very right to trust his intuition.
Also I'm sure that if the situation was different, so not her suddenly wanting to hang out with men even though she was shelteded before, the story and his reaction would've been different as well.
The amount of self reporting in the comments lmao
bro, do you even know how to speak english with that thumbnail
For story 1 it seems like he didn’t really love her after the pregnancy the fact that he didn’t allow himself female friends as he was unsure he could resist the temptation roves that he might’ve done the same thing given an opportunity
Wtf. A man making sure there's no chance of temptation because he loves his wife is somehow the bad guy? Women really get a lot of support even when they're the cheaters
No he is definitely in the right I think I was just reading to deep between the lines
Don't wanna drink? Stay TF out the bar.
That's man's natural instinct and you can't deny it. Men are attracted to women by default and vise versa, creating an environment where both can freely interact is bound to create an opportunity for affairs. I think he always followed that view and it didn't appear randomly after his wife's pregnancy.
Wanting to hang out with someone of the opposite se* is always a bad idea, specialy when they want to spend time with that person and not the husband
S1, man is controlling and insecure, but wife cheated on him anyway so it's hard to blame the guy
That's why you need to becareful of guy friends. A lot of them have the goal of sleeping with the woman.
@crimsonstorm34 not always, some of us fantasize about it, some are so impotent that they dont even wanna get with anyone, but not all of us have that as a goal.
@@C.G.Gaster Alot of them are like that though. I've seen it.
He's not even remotely controlling or insecure. When a man doesn't want his woman to have straight guy friends, it's not because he doesn't trust her, it's because he doesn't trust other men. He knows how men are because he is one. Any woman insisting on having straight male friends and hanging out with them in ANY setting without her SO present is a walking red flag. This isn't an opinion, there is no debate to be had. Straight men do not have real platonic friendships with straight women. It IS possible that the woman sees it as a platonic friendship, but that man will always be waiting for an opening. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to your face.
@@crimsonstorm34 and I've seen my mother use men for money. What's your point? People can be gross and not care. Doesn't mean all are like that.
1st story OP was definitely a controlling ass. It's no wonder the wife felt like she couldn't do anything if he was gaslighting her into believing that she couldn't have close friends of either gender, or friends at all of the opposite gender. When you do that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: The person's no longer used to dealing with and sorting through the emotions of having a bond with someone. So then when she does get a quick bond because of trauma or compatibility the intensity is turned up to 10. Further, fucking the firefighter was likely her way of trying to take back some control of her life after being pushed down over and over by OP.
Obviously the lady shouldn't have cheated and that was her own mistake to make, but it sounds like the relationship was destined for failure no matter what due to the toxicity of OP and the failure of the wife to stand up for herself.
Are you seriously victim-blaming now? Cheating is in no way justifiable, and you *did* justify it by saying "ducking the firefighter was likely her way of trying to take back control".
I'm female, and experimentally it was proven a million times that in a "platonic" relation of opposite sexes, usually one party *does* think of a potential to turn their relationship into a romantic one.
You can have colleagues and acquaintances all you want, but no one should be so pressed about having a mandatory close friend of the opposite sex, unless they have the intention of turning it into something more than friendship.
There was no controlling. The wife was the one who didn't want to go out for dates or socialize.
Under no circumstances should you, be married, decide to fuck some stranger you just met. This wasnt some her mind is completely ruined and she wasnt thinking straight. OP even told her not to yet she decided to not only lie straight to his face, but ignore her daughter crying upstairs- a sign of their relationship AND fuck some stranger in their house. You don't "take back control" of your life by having an affair. What kind of bullshit mind do you have? That's how you ruin people's lives. Not only do you ruin your marriage, you ruin your family's views of you, friends, and even the affair partner's spouse if they have one. You break your spouse's trust and all you've built with them. And no the relationship broke because of the wife's complete lack of self confidence. He wasn't controlling, he went out for her when she didnt want to, as much as he could. She, at any point, could have decided to get her shit together and go out, do whatever etc. But it seems in their specific relationship, he wanted to avoid having opposite-gendered friends. Because that's just how alot of affairs happen. It also wasnt a "rule for thee, not for me" situation, he kept himself to it too.
How was he controlling ? He never told her she couldnt have friends and She never wanted to go with him and out of the nowhere there's a man in your house barbecuing. She then wants to go out drinking with that man and he said no , that's boundary issue. You won't go out with me but want to go with another man, not a girlfriend or someone you knew for a long time but a man that saved your life and your now inviting him to your house without giving your partner a heads up
@@juniormon7514 This. And if u want to even consider how he said "you can have male-friends(opposite gender)", he also applied that to himself. That's just setting boundaries in the relationship. Although hopefully they have talked about that beforehand. You can't say they have or havent though as you can only assume due to the lack of info
Luckily I've never been in a tragic or serious accident. But seeking constant validation from someone can be damaging.
S1. Probably fake but The wife is definitely in the wrong . And the OP sounds like he has issues
Good bot