This 5-Second Test Exposes a Narcissist
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- čas přidán 9. 09. 2024
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This 5-Second Test Exposes a Narcissist // Do you ever find it difficult to know for sure whether or not the person you’re dealing with is, in fact, a narcissist?
In this video, I break down a simple, yet very effective 5-second test that will expose a narcissist.
Using this technique will tell you everything you need to know, so you can take care of and protect yourself from further harm.
This video is for you, if you’ve ever asked yourself questions like…
“How do you expose a narcissist?”
“How to expose a narcissist in court?”
“How to expose a narcissist in the workplace?”
“How to expose a narcissistic boss?”
Enjoy!
~ Tamie M xx
#superempath #knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
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⚜️ WHO IS TAMIE M? ⚜️
Tamie M is a Life Coach specializing in Empath Empowerment. She is an expert in the areas of codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery. She teaches people how to transform their lives through the use of many powerful healing, recovery, and ascension modalities. She does her best work with those who identify as being highly empathic, as well as those who have been cast as the family scapegoat. She is on the planet to support awakening Light Leaders to step into their personal power, divine purpose, and mission.
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thanks for this video, its like i know whats happening is not right, but its hard to recognize when this is the 'soul mate' or 'main person' in my life. Wife, actually. So you can't believe they don't 'get it' or wont get it. and freak out randomly or worse, the more i get a grip on who i am and who my 'self' is, the more arguments we have, and they keep coming at you for days on end even when you keep your cool and let it go. till you give up being you, which is the point, ive concluded. Ive watched a ton of Narcissist videos from different therapists, but this video really spoke to a main core of what Narcs do and helped me recognize whats going on so i can 'separate' and individuate myself from the insanity that my significant other keeps piling on me.
Yep yep yep! Been through it toooo many times. I know of no other type of relationship. Never a healthy one. Not even with female friends. But! I FINALLY HAD ENOUGH! I have been single for NINE YEARS! And I'm not even lonely! I got Lots of cats though! Lo! I could never be fooled again! I can diagnose a Narcissist, Anti-social disorders as well as Sociopaths in less than 5 minutes. I know their game and can play it better. Not that I seek out victims. I just won't be one again!
All of this is going on now currently 😢I am running I don't know what to do I am not hiding because I am trying to lett the crowd see I am not who he says I am he kept me away from a certain crowd he said he did not like me hanging with but he. Was hanging with bad mouthing me I never did anything wrong truly I didn't think 😢
Thank you for this video!! With the knowledge,I hoped that or I feel bad if you went through this but I am happy also so I can get out of this horrible relationship in my head
The only thing more traumatic than narcissistic abuse is the disbelief of the people around you.
Yes, I’ve got this going on at work
My family is full of flying monkeys.
I was raised in this.
From peers I used to get, "Your father is so wonderful. "
Right❤
I am the victim of the things you discuss here. What i find really bad is how the narcissist will gather deciples and they will fully believe the narc and wont even believe any obvious facts and evidence that you can provide.
I can identify with this dude 👍🏼🙏🏼. 🇬🇧
Us guys don't stand a chance against females who play victim while destroying our reputation with vicious lies.
"Flying monkeys"
Don't take the bait. It's your relationship, not this group think. You have to take the "F-em" if they can't take a joke.
Set boundaries and isolate yourself from them. Create a journal and document what you hear, see, feel, and think. If you are a victim of this at a workplace, you can privately report it through a state phone number. Also, you can just report it directly to upper management, however, this could backfire on you as it did on me. There are communities that you can join to seek assistance, to help you heal, and to build you up to protect yourself from such people. None of this is a joke as it is plaguing the inner structure of our society.
It never fails to amaze me how all of this happened to me over and over until God finally just took me out of the situation. It’s been 6 years and finally I am able and willing to accept that it wasn’t all me after all. No matter how many times I have tried to make any mistake I’ve made right with any of them it fell into deaf ears and was completely ignored. I’m 66 years old this year. Finally finding a place to heal. I am a saved believer now and in God’s care. What a horrible journey it has been. These people are everywhere including church pastors, teachers and spiritual leaders. It’s a very sick and insane life if you remain asleep and willing to go along with it. They will never change.
Praise The LORD!! I’m so happy that He rescued you from this.
However, beware … don’t be a fool like me and Invite your abusers back into your life when you start to feel stronger.
Breast Cancer finally set me free… but my ridiculously over- the - top Empathy for others has now destroyed what ever ounce of health and resilience I had left.
These people of the Lie will stop at nothing until they utterly destroy you!!
How did God take you out?
@@welllookahere His hand came down from heaven and plucked her up and moved her.
It’s sadden’s me to come to such realization, but worse living it!! I’m glad you got close to God, & He got you covered!!
Absolutely relate!
I had two kinds of narcissists, covert and grandiose. They both had a character split. The covert one was always nice, considerate, and very well-mannered with others. But with me he was rude, contemptuous and abusive. So, when people always told me how nice he was and asked what's wrong with me for not liking him and being petty, it really hurt me and created cognitive dissonance. I always remembered how nice he used to be with me in the beginning and I hoped he would be that way again soon.
With the grandiose narcissist it was a similar character split, but opposite. He was very well-mannered, sweet and polite with me but rude and abusive with others. Again, when people told me what's wrong with me for being with this nasty person, I felt hurt from people judging my choice as bad and felt the pain of cognitive dissonance again. But over time, I saw the mask slip with me bit by bit, and eventually he started being rude with me too. And I hoped again he would get back to being nice with me.
Lesson learned: hope is futile. Dump future hopes - engage in reality check!
That's a very good point. Having boundaries is kryptonite to Narcissist. They only want people they can mold & manipulate.
Pray, keep your boundaries up front, integrity , love yourself, God more then you do anything , else in this world , do not take them back , ask God to help you see the red flags at the beginning asked them what do they see in you and what future plans they have that included you, do not allow them to come to your home, meet them at a coffee shop or have a picnic something light in your environment, never go in their environment stay a mystery to them , just as she said , they don't like respect, boundaries, especially if you feel uncomfortable, they come into your life as valuable lesson , heal not only pray but if you have to call and talk too a professional counselor that can help you to heal , so you can attract healthy relationships, stop waring rise colored glasses see them for who they truly are, I did not have sex with this narcissist, I stayed a mystery, he couldn't accept no , so he started to reject me and I laughed and said it's for my protection and peace of mind, now he chasing and can't find me, I'm a private person and when I see a man that hangs out with low vibrational demons I move around and silently , this blows their minds, they are left in wonder, I am the one that get away and they can't catch this big abundance, my life is precious and I'm here on purpose for God's purpose and it's being fulfilled, no man can stop it although many have tried , and if anyone had been right to be with me then I wouldn't be single now, I'm not lonely, im living my best life to the fullest, in God, one of my boundaries are I do not give two coins about other people's validation or approval of me, I speak my truth as I see it , I do not believe in gossip, about others I know nothing about, I see straight through those that do, when people show me who they truly are I believe them and if it's not for my greatest good I move on , I do not care about apologies that are fake, no clarity explained from grown ass people that know better , I do not give them the benefit of the doubt cause if you love someone you will not hurt them period , excuses are just like asses everyone has one, so when you become awakened and know how you want to be treated then you will not allow others to treat you any way they want to , I disappear, go silent, faster then I appeared in their lives, I take no disrespect, disregard, devalue, I'm to valuable to God for that, they did not create me , God placed me as a seed in my fathers testical sack and he inserted the seed into my mom and I was born on purpose for God's purpose not man's, some people dont know what true love is because they don't know what love is because they don't love themselves or God, so they not gonna know how to love you, God bless you and I pray that God will send you your true kingdom husband, and your life be blessed abundantly, I'm proud of you for learning that valuable lesson, Amen
It is so incredibly frustrating when no one else sees them as you do. You feel very frustrated but the bottom line is you know the truth, stay strong with that fact and get the hell away from them!
Right on...very frustrating no one else see's.Makes you feel quite alone.
I agree. The most painful part of living with a narc is that nobody sees it and will turn against you and defend the narc...
NO One believes me and the more I try to explain it to them the crazier I seem so I gave up
You & God know the truth… That’s all that matters..
@@mytwocents3148
I see you
I hear you
& I believe you.
This works! I set a boundary and the person trampled all over it over and over and over, which led to me going no contact.
@rtco769 My hunch is you're much better off. 😉
Yes. A boundary without consequences is just a wish. Don't look back!
Anytime someone tries to trample your boundaries and they keep at it, you must NEVER.... EVER give in
@@0annonymous it was relentless calling when I told them not to. I had to slowly and quietly go no contact.
@@rtco769you were probably cheating on them and that’s why they got insecure. My ex set a boundary but I know she was up to no good and still didn’t apologize for cheating on me.
I've lost two jobs from exposing two narcissists both of which had intentions of destroying my life. I have thus bounced back from both situations and am now protecting myself from ever having to deal with narcissists in a work environment. 💜
Great!!! Dr Les Carter on here is great learning! I had evil narc bosses and it was a living hell! I get it! Feels good to get away from the psychos as they can’t change and you need to get away from them fast! The world is too full of them now - sad 😞
@@Juke582Also check Dr.Ramani Darvasula....
How do you identify and set boundaries with narcisissts in a workplace? What should we avoid in such situations?
@@rkvic1919just remain to yourself and when they talk to you just be as boring as you possibly can
@rkvic1919. Exactly. 1 word answers. Excuse yourself by saying need to hit bathroom. Ignore conversation by engaging in fake call that you "just received". Use any excuse to avoid engaging in a conversation. Good luck.
In October, my narcissistic mom will be visiting my home for 2 weeks.
Ever since I agreed to it, I've had terrible nightmares every night 😢
God....please protect me and keep me from harm❤
I say don't let her. Just don't do it
God's warning you, but you wouldn't listen.
If anything goes wrong, it's on you.
Okay have a Plan B. You’ve agreed to it but guess what its your home if it doesnt work out you send her home. You be very busy so she doesnt have time to snoop, criticize or spy on you. Be a good host but keep an eye on things. Also be around people. They usually stick their manners in when around ppl they dont know 😂
Aaaw. Good luck. Any chance of telling her that your plans have changed and she must find elsewhere to stay. Much easier on you to have her around so long as she's not also living in your personal space. It makes them behave themselves when you can just go home when you've had enough. Hope all goes well.
Dont get into any conflicts - they tend to use it against you to reign in their fan club by pretending to be hurt - you cant change her, so its pointless trying. She has to do that herself. Stay calm, dont take the bait- they love dramatic moments. Get out for errands/rdvs etc as needed.
"They lie with tremendous ease." Bingo. I have an older friend who says, "some people will lie even when the truth would serve them better".
My sister tries to only show me what she wants me to see about her. She has not changed at all. She forgets and the real her slips out.
I hear you. Recently the mask fell right off. I can’t see my sister the same way.
"That doesn't work for me," was the statement I started using that eventually led to my escape and deliverance.
Resigned from a job I love due to everything here. I said no to one thing, opened the gates of evil revenge.
I resigned from a job I had for 13 years for this manipulative person
I was so focused on my mother's toxic narcissism (not knowing what it was) that I completely missed the fact that my own sister was almost as toxic.
@RatedARggg That's not unusual. The good news is, now you know. 😉
yes, I was focused on older sis's overt narcissism while it took me 6 decades to realise younger sis was an even worse evil malevolent covert narc.
yes, i so recognise (SAME situation!) what you write... it's horrible...
Me too ugh
👉❤️When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥️ He is coming to avenge!
👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥️🥳
As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations.
Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤️😊
Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤️You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤️He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥️
😍
Trust in what He did on the cross for you! He died for our sins and defeated the death by rising 3 days later!
🙌❤️🥹
This works 110%
I was a live in caregiver for a psychotherapist, and i had this small trailer attached to my truck that he didn't like. I was there about 6 months and like you said, his behavior wasnt matching. I'm very easy going and until he made the trailer an issue he hadn't yet found a boundary to cross.
I called code enforcement to see if what he was telling me was accurate, turned oit he was lying and when his wife told him i called code enforcement he flew into a rage and had a tantrum like a 5 year old. I just stood there and let him go on and on without really saying anything. I recorded the entire thing. I shared what happened with other people working for them and we all quit at the same time. I was the only live in worker, and left despite it meaning id be living out of my car.
You had freedom though. Cant put a price on that and peace🎉
Totally worth it.! May you find peace and a better future 💐
My boss was a narcissist, some co- workers agreed but most didn’t ! It’s frustrating 😂❤
I was married to one, once....for 15 yrs. No one understands, unless you've lived it....I totally AGREE! You have to accept that they DO NOT change, but try to influence them subliminally (of course they'll claim it as their idea); but hopefully go inward to mend, heal, cleanse and receive Divine Discernment.
The last fight I had with my soon to be ex-husband was over a pillow. The night before, as i tried to make sure it didn't poke him in his bum he turned to me and told me to not ever worry about annoying him or upsetting him with it because he knew i needed it for my hips. The very next morning he was angry the pillow was poking him in the bum. When I asked why the difference between last night and the next morning his only responses were about the pillow poking him and that my reality was this and the truth was this. It was a complete 180 from the night before. This was our 4th and final break up for these and more issues that he never changed. he would be different for a time but slowly revert back to what it had been. Since leaving my body has slowly relaxed and my nervous system is getting back to a normal state.
You have just described my life. Thank you. It is a night mare being so alone. They are so changeable that the fact that they don't change for any regard is actually gas lighting. There is never any clarity with a narcissist. If you are confused you are abused.
@wendyrussell4191 Sounds like you need some specialized support and guidance. You're welcome to apply for a free 1:1 consultation call with me here when you're ready: www.TamieM.com/stragegycall
@@tamiemjoyce Thank you Tamie. Very kind of you to offer your time. I am going to guess you are in the States. I live in Portugal, just so we have a time reference. Speak soon
I came across evil people in my place of work. It flummoxed and stressed me out. I wanted to run for the hills.
Step back & let nature take its course - sometimes we’re blocking the view
@grantaugustyniak6667 Exactly!
But remember though, sometimes you just don't have time to wait, because these people don't stop and must BE stopped by ANY means ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY
When you set a boundary, the narcissist will attack your persona, will make your faults evident and if they have something on you, like from the past, hold on because they´ll bring it up.
The easiest way is to covertly record them. Regardless of legality, RECORD THEM. The truth is the truth.
I have a narc in my family who has bullied and belittled me for decades. A light bulb went off this past year, and now I understand what's happening. I just don't feel comfortable around her. She feels entitled to my 5-year-old child and is obsessed with getting pictures taken with her. She wanted to get a picture with her at a family event several months ago, and I set a boundary and said no. A few minutes later she tries to sneak a selfie with her. My child was too wiggly, and the Narc couldn't get the selfie, but I was standing right there, and she wouldn't even look me in the eye.
Wow. What a nasty trick.
That's creepy.
Who's more important than you? Nobody!
A narcs intend is to destroy their victim (you) and every thing they love, especially your relationship with your child. Your sister wants these photos as proof of how wonderfull she is and how much she loves your daughter. The narc will love boom your child and if possible turn her against you. Don't ever let her be alone with these people, and minimize contact. Move far away if you can.
@@earthwatchmoon8390 I had a narc abuser who tried to do this with my dog and make my dog fall in love with him. At first I didn’t see any harm in their behavior until I realized they were stealing my dogs love from me.
I don’t mind people petting my dog because my dog likes that very much. But there is a big difference in petting my dog and stealing her love. Once you are aware of it and SEE IT it is actually perverted what they do. It made me sick and I told him not to touch my dog ever again. Of course I got the following reply: now what? What did I do wrong?? I was only petting your dog. You are way too sensitive
How I got out is I don’t need their love and approvals.
5.38 mins. Yes I can relate to all of it. There is a family gathering this coming Sunday and the narc, who I've avoided for four years will be there. Grey rock all the way. Good video.
And limit your time there. 🎉
I set my boundary and started saying No to somethings. A month later, she called and said We should Separate. Sure. She got blocked real quick, phones deleted and completely blocked. see ya!!
I have been in a relationship where, I clean, take the dog out, buy groceries all the time, do laundry basically do everything I can to try to make my girl happy. But recently she has been acting absolutely insane. She picks fights with me the minute I wake up, started accusing me of seeing or being with another woman. She got mad at me because we had talked about me going to a concert and she said no. Well the day of the concert she was belitting me and making me feel like crap about myself. She told me to basically screw off and that she didn't care what I did because she hates when I see my friends (she thinks I put friends over out family; I don't at all). I decided to tell her I was going to the concert and she was saying you will regret it and basically trying to control and threaten me. I go to the concert and when I got home iy was WWIII. She gets extremely angry and rages and yells almost everyday now. I tried to express to her that she doesn't know how to communicate and that we needed therapy. She doesn't want to go, so now I've been feeling crazy like questioning reality when I know I'm not a crazy man. When she gets mad she hops immediately to her phone and just starts texting (she had a privacy cover on it). I made the mistake of talking to a friend about the issues we were having and she does not agree with it. She will not see any of my friends now. I'm so lost and confused, and all she does is belittle me and push me away when I kiss her. Has anyone experienced this before? She also has no ability to say sorry or show any kind of empathy and that's extremely scary to me. Please let me know.
😢get out fast
I’m so sorry you feel so lost and confused. I can relate. This is one of their goals. The only way to regain clarity is to create huge distance and ideally go no contact. You deserve so much better.
Going through a breakup of a 13 year relationship with a narcissistic man who has a highly narcissistic mother.. The toxicity between them is sickening to witness. He projects all her bad traits on me , always suggesting how sly and manipulative woman are. After 13 years of emotional abuse I definitely come over as the abuser because I absolutely cannot control my emotions when getting triggered. I suffer from PTSD in it,s worst form. I have friends who support me and sees through him and he uses that against me , accusing me of character assassination. He has no real friends , only superficial friendships normally only based on how much money that person has. He has cheated on me for three years and even after the other woman confessed everything he still turns it around and makes me out to be a crazy , obsessed, insecure and jealous woman. He has looked after me financially and uses that to make me feel guilty for setting boundaries. He always accuses me of disrespect towards him when I point out problems in our relationship and always calls me arrogant when I bring up issues. I am past my breaking point. When I cry or gets upset he mimics me and taunts me when I start praying out of desperation. I always go on my knees to ask him to stop . It enfuriates him even more. He calls crying manipulation and refuses to talk to me when I cry or are upset because I don't speak properly to him ..
@Grooving3 I'm sorry for your pain. It sounds like it's time to leave.
Leave. Run. Never return. Block him everywhere.
To anyone out there with any doubts: this is the BEST and most accurate video that Tamie has done, and she's done some excellent videos in the past! Thank you 🙏 and it is 💯 correct. I did this a few months ago to a very close friend of mine without even realising what was happening. I said NO to a particular event that she was trying to control, I didn't want to attend. (Like I said, at this point I had no idea what was coming). Here's where these people get very very tricky: this friend didn't get "angry" or pissed off, I was being punished in the cruelest way, silence but under the lies of "you wouldn't believe what is happening to me right now, can't talk" and this went on and on. This was a friend that was in contact every single day (multiple times) who suddenly couldn't talk to me. I realised what was happening, because she is a school mom and I started noticing none of the other mom's wanted anything to do with me after this incident, talk about flying monkeys! That's where I made my decision, my child left that school (for completely unrelated reasons) and we left without a single word, we told nobody until it already happened, and needless to say, I blocked every single form of contact possible. Do I think this crazy friend will turn up at my doorstep one day, yes, I actually do. But I know she'll try and let a lot of time go by, if ever she tries, it will be a closed door and grey rock 🪨. But this message is to mainly express to others that Tamie is not lying when she says that is literally all you need to do. Best channel ❤️ I just want to add that when a friend does this (or ie you realise who they really are), it almost hurts more than when I had a narcissist ex partner. Friends are meant to be people that you share a lot with, it cuts in a very different way.....
Yep. Too nice hurts us all everytime!
Spot on. It does hurt with friends but its better to find out sooner than later
I've dealt with a narcissist on a grand scale. Everything you are and every direction you take that is positive. Will be turned on you. Then everything becomes negative. To have a positive demenore. Having to match her negative mindset was reversed on my. I was made to be the narcissist. My positive attitude was made negative by her I was accused of having a mask on. It has been mind blowing.
They are exactly like that...as you described...it's classic.
And wanted to say ‘I believe you!’ They mess with your mind but do what you gotta do, esp in a workplace.
This is like gold. Every person alive should know this information early on regarding narcissists. You couldn't have a worse character in a Charles Dickens novel than this...except these characters are REAL. Imo this information moves a person from an empath to a sigma empath or super empath. From effect to cause over narcs and traumatic situations with them.
This info should be taught in 5th grade.
I can relate. When I say no, my main narc or narcs are at work, so when I stand up for myself, I get punished. 3 days suspension last time.
@beverlyhaskins4279 The gray rock method might be a better idea until you can find a healthier place to work. Try this: czcams.com/video/Op-9DCA1RfE/video.htmlsi=B9WZ1B854-oR1d2x
You are so right. I was so stupid. The way he did me. It’s taken 10 years to get over the hurt and pain. Just now starting to recover
Same here....took me 7 years to get over the demon of a narcissist I was married to
You weren’t stupid! You were deceived, and every single one of your good qualities & integrity were used against you
This is exactly what I’ve had to deal with. I told them that the boundaries they wanted were unhealthy in relation to having a healthy friendship, then set a healthy one and they demanded the original one and I said no.
They immediately proceeded to curse me out and get angry even though I was perfectly calm. Eventually they knew I recognized them for what they were and attempted to threaten me.
I could not have said all this better. She's right on. ❤
@bellastone-le9eb Glad you liked it! Thanks for watching!!
I absolutely relate to every thing you've said. Spot on to the T.
@musabalakolo8761 Glad you liked it, Musa! Thanks for watching!!
So I went through my narcs phone and he's cheating on me and telling his new victim that I have no goals no ambition! Oh and when she told him she was going to have a shower, he said ill be thinking of you in that shower!!! I took photos of all of it on my phone! So if he wants to start his smear campaign against me.....I will end it!!!! Make no mistake!!!
Tamie, this was very well done. I didn't even know what narcissism was until I started watching videos like yours. I've always had my suspicions and knew that something was off about my wife. I recently uncovered a 15-year affair and have subsequently filed for divorce. I am convinced that she is covert narcissist as you have highlighted. She has destroyed my life and the life of my kids with her selfishness. I'm stuck living in the same house until I can move in October. This is a nightmare
Wishing you peace, freedom, joy
@jackieflynt995 Thank you, Jackie
I believe I am in a relationship with a narcissist. I feel I have developed strong feelings of feeling insecure and less than. 😔 I have started focusing on me and in educating myself and empower myself by learning how to heal and recover. Work in progress.
Going through THIS right now with NARC husband of 27 years! I am so lost & need help before it's too late for me
Last 4 years have been horrific and this is how I Learned about Narcissisim
I went through that hell with my husband. Years of beatings & worse, until I beat him so bad. He ran from me & locked himself in the bedroom. I told him how it was going to be. I always took it like a man & he ran like a little girl. God took care of it a year later, he committed suicide & I now know where he resides. Now at 66, I don’t do crazy with anyone since I was 29.
Do a course like this wonderful lady suggests here and inner child work to understand how as a child you did not get your needs met
The bottom line is you have to leave the Narc.. Plan for it or whatever you have to do to get away from them.. I have been in a relationship with a Narc for 23 years & we have a child together.. I didn’t know I was in a narcissistic relationship until recently coming across all of these videos.. We are locked in a lease & when that’s over with this too will be over with.. For the past 5 years I completely ignore him.. He tries to get under my skin by purposefully doing things he knows I don’t like.. Like I keep everything clean he dirties everything & destroys everything.. I make sure he knows he’s not pushing my buttons.. So when the lease is done so am I.. Run as fast as you can away from them & never look back.. You deserve better.. Personally after this I don’t want another relationship.. I just want to work on myself.. I Love myself enough to know that being alone is solitude.. The end
I remarried my nars husband. So I have only myself to blame but God is freeing me. Halleluyah
@@carolgood5602 Hey, don’t feel like the Lone Ranger. I did it myself and ended up spending not only the first seven miserable years but the next completing a whole 18 years of being ignored and my children being abused and me living in cognitive dissonance. Don’t beat yourself up. They are smooth talkers. But now we know and understand that love bombing face, and my new rule is if you lie to me once or you start crap, talking people and gossiping and backstabbing I’m moving on quietly and positively for sure: Going to be way too busy for this person.
My ex husband was a narcissist and my mom is a narcissist!! Mom is so much worse though. She has turned all my 3 boys and their wife, girlfriends against me by lying!! I can totally relate. I have went no contact!
@rhondaledford7752 I'm so sorry Rhonda! That must be very painful for you. My mother sabotaged some important relationships for me as well. What I know for sure it, we are powerless over who and what they choose to believe. Sending you a big hug! 💕
Hi!, my mother is exactly the same, I've had over 40 years of having my life sabotaged
Excellent info! I have dealt with several narcs in my life. It look me a long time to realize that my response to their gaslighting was giving them fuel and made my stress worse.
@stephanniekotalik9339 Glad you liked it, Stephannie! Thanks for watching!! 💕
That's the worst!!! I had to go to therapy to learn how to not react! It's soooo hard when they're like, Na na na booboo to your face! Get you to react and act all innocent to make you look crazy!!
Yup
Been there twice … 1 passive aggressive and the other, outrageously sick & scary. Thankfully both are in the past. At this stage in my life, I’m looking for a companion to enjoy life with, one who keeps their toothbrush at their home.
😮toothbrush?
You nailed it. Exactly what one experiences with a covert narcissist. I was with a golden bachelorette who was a master at having 2 faces and obsessed with her public image and acceptance. A true controller. Lucky for me it ended.
After a 20 yr marriage to a narcissist, I’ve been getting educated & working on healing since 2009.
Sometimes I feel I’m making progress, others I feel like I’ll never be ok again. If I ever was.
I’ve been single since, I just can’t be in an intimate relationship, I don’t think I’ve healed enough.
I have other narcissists in my life, these are difficult relationships.
This has been my life for going on 15 years now.
The narcissist gives off such subtle tidbit of information that you need to be able to catch. They don’t even know they said. You really need to be on your toes to hear and see the negative comments. I told the narc ‘’we don’t know how communicate with each other. I knew exactly what I was saying. It was a test. Saw the anger,and actions that iwould happen. Got 2 or3 masks in about a minute. That gave me the upper hand to terminate any future inter actions. Check mate. Leave her angry. I feel I have the upper hand and I don’t regret what I said. Let her suffer.
❤❤
A friendship with a Narcissist......like going to Hell. Major damage. They are horrible people
My brother was/is married to the exact person you describe. He is going through property settlement with her now. She weaponised their son against him from an early age - played the long game. Sadly, he now has a terminal illness that she took advantage of to drive the wedge between him and his daughter. All for material gain and “standing” in the eyes of others, at the expense of those she claimed to love. There will be no redemption and no way to ever “fix” what has been broken for those kids, and my brother who was alienated.
I'm experiencing this at work. I'm sitting next to a covert narcissist. I've figured her out very quickly but not everyone can see this because she can be very nice... 🤮
@paulinas6176 That can't be easy.
@paulinas6176. It seems that they like to target 1 person at a time ( and probably others in other locations)
OMG, This makes so much sense. I've never been able to articulate the situation. I still suffer, lost my friends, Job and soon to be homeless with my cat in triple-digit weather. All I know is I consider narcissists incredibly evil and can never wrap my head around the fact they really don't care and could do what they do to people. I feel destroyed. Hurt beyond belief. Alone, scared, confused, and pissed. What's worse is when I realized I'm pretty much surrounded by these types of people and know it's me choosing them. So there is definitely something wrong with me.
I lived with all of this for 46 years. All so true. It has created PTSD
Same, ive had EMDR therapy. Deep but helps , bless you
Empathy impaired is a good term. First time I have heard it but captures it. It is so hard to discern. One doesn't want to label someone unfairly should the person just be a person that needs to heal. I have just ended? paused? a relationship with someone after two years who I have been struggling with. It has been such a mix. Some narcissistic signs and sometimes not. Ultimately, when he got upset because our plans changed because my sister came into town from out of town on short notice (had not seen her in a year), he didn't handle it well because it was the second weekend in a row our plans had been bumped. He then started with accusations and insults towards my personality no matter how nice and apologetic I was. He was also included in plans with my sister. He just didn't want to go, which I understood. I broke it off. Then, I got the most amazing apology from him. Words I have never heard come from him. He is insistent we can work this out and is saying he agrees that his approaches have not been healthy. But....had I not broken things off....he didn't seem like he was ever going to come to the realization on his own that telling me I have a cold personality and that I am being lazy because I don't want to rehash something is getting abusive. So, there are discernment issues here. I don't think I could ever trust this again. Two years....jeez. My nerves are shot. But he is still trying and is on his best behaviour for the time being. It is really heartbreaking. He even cried when I let into him about how his behaviour was making me feel. This is really hard.
I am an Uber Driver...I have an Aunt and 2 daughters who have been using me for rides for years. The Aunt has trained the Daughters to get a big discount, because after all, He's a family member. I have driven 700 miles for these people and only getting paid $150-$200, because they expect a big discount, If not free altogether. I can't do It anymore and I'm not going to. They put the younger Daughter up to talking to me. She didn't ask, She told me what I was going to be doing. I said no,and She said, "didn't you get a new car and recently drive to Miami". These people will just have to be disappointed. I finally blocked them. The situation had become beyond ridiculous ! It was all one sided and no love or empathy at all ! So guess who the bad guy is now ?
And you’re the smart guy now 🎉
You are only the bad guy in their eyes but you are a hero to the rest of us.
My loser ex husband asked me if he could claim one of our kids on his taxes. He didn’t really ask….he informed me this was what was fair. When I said….we can discuss all financials with a witness and paperwork present he flew off the handle. Probably because he is over $3k behind in child support. Then he began to tell me I am “mean” to him and I am a horrible person. This man cannot hear “no” or anything close without cussing me out yet I’m the “mean” one. The best way to deal with these types is DON’T! They are extremely sick and will do anything to avoid facing their own shit. Anything! They do not love you. Stand in your power. Keep your cool. Nothing is more castrating to these losers.
Thank you for elaborating on the setting boundaries area. I've learned that that is in fact the fastest way to see a person's true colors. All you have to do is do it and see what happens! And when you get this, you're golden.
@jennyhewitt3472 Amen!
Tami. This nails it. My mom is this and meddles in her own boredom in elaborate plots to destroy anything she learns about.
I helped create and build Mountain View Concert arena - The original Lollapalooza, helped a girl swim in world oceans for fundraising causes and to soften the Cold War, helped helped helped big things helped in the creation of p.e.t.a. So many projects. I created The Surfrider Foundation- it is all part of whom I am from early toddlerism I saw solutions possible and learned to create the circle of dreamer’s doing the best things - and she didn’t want children. She had tried to home abort . She had been wife raped and drug was involved by my dad- I’m the mid-kid of triplets she adopted us all gone - but changed her mind with hypnosis and settled for one.
To torture.
I have been by proxy deathed in so many ways she finally gave up because Frankly God starts my heart again . Even buried .
I have thrived not just survived.
But it is always there. She was a vicious destructive narcissist as a child. Her mom shared some hefty details. She and her older brother were a team of plotters. No religion. Just copy movies.
If a drama was on tv or a film they acted it out too they tried it.
Why not? Their showbiz father was making films and in supper clubs on tour with Xavier Cugat. Absent dad. Zero supervision.
Their mom drank and smoked and took whatever was the fad in between skiing in Geneva and tennis at the clubs - old Hollywood.
She had her own family train ! The Chesapeake.
Mother did not want to share being looked at. Forced to be a mom to her high school boyfriend impregnating her my dad in the Air Force and cia married her for her beauty. Passed off the older daughter as his own - lies lies lies got mom hypnotized and they both were these phonies.
The whole facade of their layers!
No body is aware before the plot. In a dream you might get an uh oh warning -
But mom plotted against my dad and her half sisters and her older brother was callable to save some mistakes. She attacked other pretty and gifted people.
She’s wrapped up in her illnesses now- and a shut-in in her lift-massage-heat chair.
She does not thank God drive nor have a car anymore.
The years of stalking some 24 year old rich lady who lifted her nose at her at an intersection… those plots are gone.
There is much more safety now that she is 74.
But I had to never get paid. I had to say - I will retrieve my portion of the money later when my scary mother cannot do her plots.
I had a 73,000 check for building Mountain View Concert Arena - and she pulled a gun and said to Bill, do you wanna die? If she cashes that check you are dead.
I’m not dealing with her making more money than me. Now get out.
He came back with a bodyguard and she said she would just kill him in his own home she wasn’t kidding -
It is a sociopathic statement- you only matter in her own space. You are standing in her space. If you talk it is either about her or for her and there cannot be any attention or respect or laughter for anyone in her space .
Where is her space? Everywhere she is. Of course.
All eyes on her. Yes she was a great beauty and had modeled .
If anyone was not fascinated with just her - the other people were targets.
To hurt.
This is her.
So I am still poor. I live on social security. I have founded Geffen Records and was not allowed to take that money- all of the songs I wrote for artists to choose from and dances and videos and outfits and themes - I had to sign it over with Dave Geffen to mca and helped him choose yacht doodads.
I am wondering if
If I take your course
Can I start collecting my various projects monies and somehow not endanger anyone? If I obviously playact still being poor.
Oh . The social security was her plot when she was mad I was a beautiful graduate of RLS. I had college to figure out- and she had a life insurance policy ahead of her had paid for for two years and she was bribing her other daughter and the drug dealer boyfriend to murder me and get a cut.
They told me AND asked me to cooperate and please hold still for my neck to be broken - and 😂I know how this makes a very funny movie. I have been writing it .
Anyway - plots plots plots the hit man in Mexico plot plot plot so when those failed
She had a back up plan with my whole funeral planned out . She filed as if she was me - for permanent disability. Because she thought if she committed me to an asylum and they doped me silent and locked up she could just cash in my checks at the bank.
When ssa wanted me to sign things obviously I stated firmly the truth - this is a dramatic make believe of hers.
They just kept it going . Some attorney somewhere in a stack of hundreds of others got it stamped yes - mom had taken my id cards and drugged me - I woke up and my wallet was gone - she said she had gained weight and pretended to be “ me “ and honest (?) psycho psychiatrists were like oh sure Sheryl I mean Heather here’s a diagnosis. She’s walk with that paper and turn it Into The social security administration.. this got her in my name checks each month . I was in a city working and going to school and loving life while she was cashing checks playact she’s this wonderful mom with a sick kid at home oh how hard it was to take care of me blah blah lie lie to the tellers she gave a little money to - yeah that happened.
My dad had stopped cia work mostly he was fat and drunk watching football he completely checked out - I asked him if he had anything at all to do with it and he looked guilty. He was in on it ! What happened?
When did he decide sure let’s kill that brilliant person for a lousy couple hundred thousand. She’s almost 18.
Every weird thing that mother did - she COULD still do .
I’m only one person affected by this psychoactive woman . How many people were targeted as she grew up ? Her mom had told me with a glass of scotch and her catholic rosary and her unfiltered pall mall and her pills - your mother was the school bully in elementary school and I had to switch her around in schools because she was the bully of others. The schools sent notes home she had to sign to see a psychiatrist. Diagnosis homicidal schizophrenia for both children- but the pills cost 700 a month and Angela didn’t have that so she just made excuses until they graduated.
I don’t know about all of these categories names.
It’s not one thing.
It’s a blend like an embarrassing wine.
Everett and Sheryl had been raped and had to be raped a lot by the predator living in the apartment on the top floor. Their mom left kids with their own keys as children. She lived in the bars, lounges, and supper clubs. Her husband was in Cuba and France and Here and There partying with his best friend lover Xavier and he only paid the rent. That’s all.
Angela would be bought a meal sometime by someone drinking too - if so - they had food. Or they just went out and someone gave them some food .
It’s not great. Celebrities of Hollywood suck!
They look marvelous and they are totally abused then they are abusers.
I’m wondering if your classes will be the way to get safe . I don’t want to be poor anymore when I did all these projects! I invented a drum kit arcade game and that got sold to mtv to produce it - and traveled around to fairs to help teach / provide instrument to people. I had to put that money into the bank account of a friend of my sisters, and a neighbor.
I hear he is planning to kill himself last few months. It might be nice to access that paperwork etc before he does.
I’m the creator of the tv show The Voice . I put that on paper to Adam Levine and said I will come on the show one day and you can pay me then .
There are many more - articles I wrote and submitted through Helen Slater, in magazines.
I had to break off my engagement with Ralph Macchio as a kid because back then she would plot to wipe out his family and it’s just .
It’s just a lot of pressure when I could have been publicly known for creating good projects. I did help aids causes.
I need to be proactive. But the destructive narsiisist plus plus plus her many layers of psycho boils down to she’s not a satisfied human being. She actually believes people are pawns and targets.
So. 😢if you helped does it help people achieve their autonomy and their rights and their finances again ?
I’m willing to start. Please encourage this ?
My covert spouse is always stoned when I try to engage her. No emotion. Last time I set boundaries for communication she spent 20 minutes tearing me apart while justifying her destructive communication patterns. I had pushed her to a place that she didn't like.
@conanhansen7642 Sounds like abuse to me.
Best to ditch that woman as they only get worse and you end up like me …. Damaged and unable to recover! There are better people to be with! 100%!!
Find a empath! You will be much happier!
@tamiemjoyce-tv
I have read SO MANY comments, at SO MANY CZcams channels, on my journey to understanding what I have been living in my marriage of 31 years (with 5 children). I am not trying to offend, nor to defend, nor to "call anyone out," but I have to ask myself how we can KNOW someone is "being abused" (or conversely, "being abusive") without knowing the WHOLE story? I mean, what if that Covert Narcissist wife is being that way with her husband, in response / reaction to her "_________ (fill in the blank) Narcissistic husband? ... especially, if living with a Narcissist can (over time) cause one to become Narcissistic. That concept and reality is scary.
As my eyes have been opened to this mental health condition, the more I learn about it, the more I feel that Narcissism is, as you articulated so eloquently in this video, a VERY COMPLEX situation ... much more complex than the average person realizes. (Most of society thinks of the worst extreme [sadistic, violent, and possibly psychotic] type of Narcissist, whenever they hear that word.) But to REALLY KNOW what's going on, it's so important to really know BOTH people (in the marriage, for example) and to know more than what someone is stating in their comment, that COULD actually be part of their mask. 🤔
This whole thing, and how tricky it is, just blows my mind! I am so glad I found your channel! I felt SO VALIDATED WHEN YOU said that NOONE can truly understand what the person is living and experiencing being in a Narcissistic relationship! I had been trying to for over 26 years, when I realized that it was entirely futile. I finally (basically?) stopped trying several years ago... because NOONE has ever had ANY ANSWERS NOR SOLUTIONS. Now I know why. Thank you for being a light of hope, when I had decided that there just wasn't any left in me. I souks like to work with you Ave your team, but I an sure that I an not in an economic position to do so, and I also feel like I am very weak(ened) at this point. I have only been able to watch 2 or 3 of your videos, so far, but hopefully, as I keep watching, I will gain some more strength. 🙂
@@shellyrubio3207 I believe this video will help you better understand what you are living: czcams.com/video/Z5GnqNgFlMk/video.htmlsi=D5rgdV1uBm4qXk_w
Yup... That's my sister, 3 years younger, and she's been playing this game since childhood.
@janea7482 Must be exhausting for you. 💕
Me too. No one sees what I see though. Scarey
My life has been difficult with them. So happy I figured them out. Freedom!!
Very true. It's possibly the greatest indicator. Set a boundary, then sit back and observe.
Do I relate to "any" of this? I relate to ALL of this and in 5D technicolour! I like your description, "being poked with a molten-hot poker and then being blamed, shamed and criticised for having a feeling about it."..."but the more we react, the more we fight back, the more we strive to be heard and understood, the more they are believed." Truly SICK stuff, but the frustration is with all those dolts who profess to not see it. There was one in a group of born-again Christians I joined for a while, and the leader girl just started getting heavy with me for not believing in or surrendering to Jesus like she did!!!! She was horrible to me because she contended that I wasn't Christian enough, like her, which is why I saw the Narcissist the way I did, i.e. it was all my fault. If this is the level they're at in believing what Jesus is all about, God help us.
I was married 30 years total. I recently separated because he fit the category of a covert narcissist. 57 years and he has everyone and I was a crazy but it’s me and God and I’m playing with the Eagles and he’s playing with the crows.
It works, and it worked for me recently. I stopped doing a favour for someone who had repeatedly tried to exploit my kindness. Within hours, passive aggressive mode was activated. And from a person who wouldn't fail to respond to me in seconds when they were getting something out of me. It was comical watching them pretend I suddenly didn't exist to them, even if a little attention was given, because narcissists always need you, not the other way around, and will only push abuse so far with certain people because they very much want and expect you to stay after the abuse.
I guess I was expected to fawn and apologise to this God of a human for my arrogance at not wanting to be exploited and manipulated by them (sarcasm). The second I saw that behaviour, the person was blocked and I've never had contact since. Won't look at their silly stories and lies about why they were blocked, won't allow a single thought of them in my mind. Healthy people will never be passive aggressive, even when they're hurt or disappointed. Better yet, facing a rejection they will be grateful for the help while it lasted, and they will have the self respect, worth, and insight to get help and friendships elsewhere. Just to note: the healthy people in my life don't even have to ask me to help them. I help them because I want to and vice versa, so problems like this only happen with narcissists. They always want and need something from others, no matter how much they try to switch that narrative as you needing them. And they expect it.
This wasn't a very close friend or family member, I should add. I come into contact with a lot of narcissists because of my work, so they slip through the net. But I went from a people pleaser who would keep narcissists in my circle long after they had shown red flags to someone who can spot the most covert behaviour, deal with it efficiently and effectively, and move on better off. I won't even allow people in my circle who are blind and ignorant to narcissists games, and repeatedly enable them with their naivete. I owe that to myself, but also my good friends who may be affected by that. That may sound harsh, but narcissists wouldn't be able to cause so much harm if others didn't keep falling for their tactics. This is after a lot of experience and mistakes made with narcissists in the past, as well as yours and others' advice. Thank you. I've never been better. I want this for everyone watching this video
🙏😊
Super grateful for your share…. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Oh I can relate my father threw me under the bus in order to cover up his sins, putting all attention on me with all the lies he told about me. It cost me my entire life my family house cars business you name it. I ended up homeless and broke
Yes , I see that all the time, never admit to anything, getting worse..
I must practice to say "NO" often, authentic individuals will take my answer, or kindly ask if I'm okay.
Last time I set a boundary, the person stopped speaking to me! 😂 This absolutely works. And for those who keep crossing my boundaries, I distance myself or go NC. I finally have more peace. It is hard but soooooo worth the freedom.
Sounds like you are playing mind games.
Wonderful! A simple way and plan to combat the problem of a narcissist. Let them discover their behavior on their own.
Thanks Tammy. Every time I start to allow myself to get pulled down into the narcs ditch. I refresh my memory with one of your videos and I remember the things you taught me in your program that I did...it changed my life for the better after 3 decades of wondering what I was dealing with.
@chrisballina8855 You're so welcome! I'm so glad it helped!! 😉
So difficult and💔 broken promises , no actions. He is out🚫
Relate to all of this, my immediate family are all narcs scapegoating me while I’m stuck living at home waiting for ssdi and trying to get housing. I’m always looking for the videos that tell you HOW to respond to and deal with the false accusations/smear campaign and Darvo cycle. Thank you. Love your channel Tamie. It helps me keep my sanity while I’m struggling to hold on through this. They know yelling at me triggers my seizures and do it anyway and then blame me for it. They are constantly projecting negative crap and their own crap onto and attacking my character and creating a story line about me w false projections, and deny any abuse or things I try to work out with them the, that did, I am punished for boundaries, scape goatee and smear campaigned, no one believes me and they all are in denial, and scapegoat me to protect them from being responsiforr the reality of who they really are and what they really do. Thank you Tamie,🙏✨💚
Hi Tamie, you are sooo very right and on the money with this video.
My wife is a Jedi master manipulator who has and is throwing EVERYTHING at me and I have been trying to divorce her for the last 5 years.
We’re in court for an FDR tommorow.
She has caused my breakdown, business liquidation, had me arrested, brainwashed my two Adult sons, taken my dog, Burgled the house I’m staying in and I strongly believe she is involved in a sexual assault allegation against me.
Keep up your good work as it has helped me on so many levels.
Take care, Tony
Do or do not, there is mo TRY to divorce, grow a sack file the papers
What does FDR mean? I'm behind you. My friend just moved. Moved.
Went to the lawyer then moved. I am sorry about your adult children.
FDR is the 2nd stage at court called the financial dispute resolution, we had a hearing which was not an FDR due to her delays and she was ordered to pay some of my solicitor costs to £3500 + vat.
A small win, but I now have to wait for the FDR with the correct information and then a final hearing.
It’s horrific trying to divorce narcissist, it’s been over 5 years and will go on into 2025 until I get to the end.
Excellent advice, so well put. Wish i knew this 6 years ago. Precious pearls of wisdom.
It's spiritual, not personal.
Agree
Absolutely... Spot on @stayplantedinchrist. And when she said targeting one individual I was like yep , that old serpent who comes to kill steel and destroy.
@@tammy1190 Indeed
How so?
Literally, However we are the ones paying for them opening doors to negative energy or demons, so we have to let them go to fight their own demons and not letting them infects us with it.
Oooh yes. Had 70 years of first hand experience with these types of people. Learned too late how to deal with them. It started at home when I was realy young. When I found the women I thought was the one during 1972, I was not equipped to deal with what was the greatest elutionist of all time. She took Narcissism too new heights turning it into an art form.
If only I had known this test and what a narcissist is 10 years ago. Oh the regret. And I even knew it was a red flag, but I decided to collect flags instead of turning around. I had no idea the dangerous trap I was walking into.
My ex narc boyfriend was so loving kind and understanding for a couple of years. It is like a switch flipped all of a sudden and he hated me . But everything passive aggressive. He would insult me in a sweet aging tone and he liked to do I before hanging up the phone or leaving. Loved leaving me confused and unable to respond. Eventually he was wanting me to risk my life to get off. I stopped doing things for him . I would confront him on obvious cheating and would get accused of starting arguments. He discarded me without a word. There was always ghosting when he felt like "punishing " me. I want to warn other women bc he is actually very dangerous, but I'm not sure if I should. I don't want him to have the idea that he's on my mind or I want him back. And he's a very charming guy so whoever his victim is won't believe me. I fear for the safety of any woman with him.
I have been living with ALL of everything that you are describing for 28+ years but didn’t realize it until a year and a half ago! My daughter recognized with before I did.
I can relate I’ve been dealing with a narcissist for 20 years and I’m just now realizing what a narcissistic person is like within the last 3 years of this relationship I have 3 children with this person and I’m ready to leave him with no point of return.
This relatable to me 100% 😢 and I don't know how to get away I don't want to be homeless and not know where to go I've always had my own home and my own vehicles I got with this girl and she has controlled my every outcome. I'm lost and scared needless to say
If you keep the narcissist around, your worst nightmares will come true. You understand better what you're dealing with now
.....make plans to be free of them...get a roommate or a smaller place you can afford. Being with a narcissist will not keep you from being homeless, they will be the reason you become homeless.
my son keeps trying to “be heard” by his narc wife, after 20 yrs..She’s about to dump him but won’t listen to any warnings. I have to just support & love him thru it.
I’m getting older so often respond with, “ oh, I won’t be doing that.” And leave it without explanation. My explaining days are OVER.
I grew up with a narcissist Mom and 3 narc. Siblings. Then I married a HUGE narcissist and gave birth to another one. I thought narcissist behaviour was normal, now I can see the problem.
I will TAKE my contentment and peace even when they don’t want to let me be.
Last night I was issued a blunt direct order by my partner , to which I said no you don't get to order me about. What ensued was a 10 minute argument about why I should have followed direction , how wrong I was in refusing the order , the consequences of refusing the order, etc etc. My only rebuttal is that " you wouldn't speak to your employees ( the " girls"at work avg age 40-55) like that that would you ?"
As said it was a minor point of housekeeping but a major point of not just etiquette but power and control within the relationship , a textbook example of what you describe . Entirely an impulsive response on my part, but stood my ground without losing control. Similar to the time when she cleaned out one of my RRSPs and lied about it.After I had confirmed this , I set a major boundary around my financials.
Omg you are EXACTLY right. I set a boundary and was ATTACKED. It was all focused on me, not what had happened. I had to report child protection concern and suddenly I was a child abuser. And crazy and so much more.😮
Stay true to yourself. You helped a child that needed help. Narc want to be able to bend you yo their will
They expect you to abandon your integrity, peace, well being to be of service to them. ❤
I know a person exactly like this. Yesterday, over texting she reached out to me with a vague difficult situation that she was going through. When I asked her to let me know in a nutshell what exactly she wanted, she backed off.
Wow. I'm living it right now. And the guidance about me taking care of myself is helpful. Thank you
Sadly, yes! I relate to ALL of this, and oddly, it's far more common than you'd think.😢
Thank you, Tamie 😭 Everytime I thought of a question, you answered it in the next sentence. You're amazing! 👏 👏 👏
Also, to those suffering from toxic narcissist abuse, SCHEDULE A REIKI SESSION. It really helped the physical tension and hypersensitivity I suffer from partially due to narcissist emotional and mental abuse. Go into it open, it really really helps you breathe and "stay in your body" as Tamie said!
@erlersherdersher1518 You're welcome! Thanks for tuning in!! 💕
I love Reiki and am so glad to see you mentioned it. I really like that it’s not constrained by time, so if you’re ruminating about stuff the narc has done previously, Reiki can also help in that situation. ❤
My destructive narc mother now has dementia & I'm supposed to visit & love her. This is a challenge.
If your a believer, I heard a good preacher say that the Bible just says honor your father and mother. It doesn't say honor them if they did everything right. I have a narc mom and yes it's hard. I try to honor from afar, through mail, sending flowers. She taught you how not to be. That's what I finally realized. Didn't matter, 2 of 3 of my children, got to narc gene, you can tell because they ate so materialistic. Hope this helps. I think that's main reason for all the dementia and alzhiemers. ❤
I don't believe we need to take care of them if they were harmful to us. You will keep traumatizing yourself.
Sending hug, use gray rock method mate! We are in this together.
You aren't "supposed" to do anything besides take care of yourself and that includes staying away from destructive situations and people - no matter who they are. I know this is a hard one because it's your mother but you actually don't need to visit her at all. I know that's easier said than done. I have several narcs in my family and cutting ties with them was the most difficult and best decision I ever made. The hardest part was getting over what I was "supposed" to do. It was like a chain around my neck. When I finally took it off, my entire world finally opened up and my life finally started. Good luck to you
And the narcissist will trample any boundary you have too! Learning to ID them fast and get away from them is paramount to cutting your grief a LOT! Run on first insult!
Went through it all, she’s a covert narc with a best friend who is an overt narc. So she plays victim as her friend attacks and looks good supporting her
This happened to me the other day, someone gatecrashed a conversation I was having with a neighbour and proceeded to ask me if I was going to do a certain thing. When I said no, their past on smile vanished and was replaced with mouth agape and badly suppressing their anger, they tried to persuade me otherwise but I just walked off leaving them to annoy my neighbour instead of me. Theres no point beating around the bush with these people, it doesnt mean you are rude, just pragmatic!
I'm just glad his kids have seen him in action before I meet him. Sadly, I didn't listen to them years ago. 20 years later, it's taken me to see the truth.
Thank you. Your 5 second test...when I said no I can't give him thousands of dollars.
You exactly described what I experience.
Each time his response is worse. I made the mistake early on...now I owe that money back. 😢
I’m dealing with it rn! OMG ITS HORRIBLE! You hit it right on the head…. I don’t know or have anyone here where I live now. I don’t have family alive anyway, and friends sub another state… this has been the worst time in my life!!! And I’m not young…. Ugh….😢
I really appreciate your videos Tamie! They’ve been extremely enlightening 👍
@mariannerizzo7271 I'm so glad! Thanks for tuning in!! 💕
I didnt realize until you spelled it all out.the moment i heard this video i understood why it wasnt working out.now its healing myself
My mother ... thank YOU❤
Hey, don’t feel like the Lone Ranger. I did it myself and ended up spending not only the first seven miserable years but the next completing a whole 18 years of being ignored and my children being abused and me living in cognitive dissonance. Don’t beat yourself up. They are smooth talkers