Inside The Mind Of A Green Player

[@twitchster77]

The best part is how he doesn't know what the cards his opponents are playing and doesn't read them...he just hopes they don't stop him lol. So spot on!

[@mynt4033]

>barge in
>tramples with big thing
>refuses to read
>planeswalks away

[@feferson492]

I ain't got no time to read 15 paragraphs on that white enchantment my dude

[@Frindazer]

Accuratee

[@Bleilock1]

Who even does that?
Whole mtg experience is making a deck that you hope you wont get stopped

[@alexbruckshaw1448]

As as Yu-Gi-Oh, I don't want to read what you said, but I am very interested.

[@midnamidnightwhisper7529]

With my limited knowledge of MtG - Green is basically "I like big numbers, but I'm also bad at math"

[@BoBnfishy]

Green does addition and multiplication. Never subtraction or division.

[@IDoBeSmarter]

I only have to count to five mana, then I get Kalonian Hydra and win

[@valentinrafael9201]

Green players are VERY GOOD at math, but we know that it's pointless to do math when we have such BIG NUMBERS

[@mrmrmeta3698]

Green players only know multiplication for tokens and and addition for tokens

[@wellingtonalmeida2662]

That's a really important rule called "Math is for blockers", son 😆

[@goblinrat6119]

As a Green player, I hate how accurate this is. "Okay big thingy do the big swingy... oh dang what's that card they played? I dunno, it has too many words, I'll throw this number at him and he dies. Words are stupid."

[@Chaos706]

Hey If I wanted to spend 15 minutes reading a single trading card I would be playing yugioh.
Oh god their going infinite

[@Weaver_Games]

"Okay you do the math, I'm not good at blocking" This is 100% me when we're on like game 3 or 4 of commander night and the bottle of whisky has run dry.

[@Uzotrups]

Me playing commander past turn 4

[@jacobgnech5187]

A Flesh and Blood player - 'I have no such weakness' - except for this crippling headache from quik mafs

[@alexbruckshaw1448]

Math is for blockers
Actually

[@Vonhoz]

green is also a GREAT color to simply not give up against control decks without wincon. which is always fun.
I have a few uncultured friends that play pesky UW decks and expect me to give up a deadlock. naw man. you gotta kill me. and all my big ass honkachonkas.

[@wydx120]

Hell yeah
I remember one of my favorite victories during a window of time when Gaea's Blessing was in Standard *and* blue opponent-mill decks were popular
I was having shit luck and wasn't able to play anything for many turns, with my good cards getting milled or countered. I went through my entire library like 3 times. I still won lmao

[@ozenthelewdable5427]

Simple. 1 Cultivator Colossus, 25 lands, 5 spells, and the rest is other irrelevant bullshits. You do the math.

[@dovakhiinmaster2967]

One time, playing simic, I barely survived against a lifegain deck then abused an etb that gains life to out-life the life gain deck. The etb was from a mono-green dino. Green rocks

[@sethb3090]

I play a lot of Temur decks and one of my favorite things is playing Riku of Two Reflections with Vigor. All my creatures now get stronger instead of taking damage. Including the Vigors because they cover each other. For my next trick I'm going to copy Blasphemous Act and deal 26 damage to everything. My weakest creature now is a 28/28 and your strongest creature is now your 1/1 with indestructible. Unless you made the smart choice and played green.

[@dizzlegrizzle1919]

lol those blue white control players must be total newbs. I love seeing green decks... they just get destroyed and out valued through attrition

[@ConManAU]

My favourite green stompy win in Arena was against a white-red humans deck where we both had massive boards filled with token creatures that were pumped to ridiculous amounts and I actually wasn’t sure I had the power to win, but assigning blockers to absorb all the trample damage took so long he timed out and took about 150 damage to the face.

[@iandick1364]

I feel a little bad about that. irl you just say "I'm blocking with 30 tokens" or whatever.

[@Maseiken]

Just what white tokens deserve

[@eugenecaudill5361]

I had an Esper Zombies list where I dropped my opponent to -420. I didn’t do it on purpose, but it was too funny not to screenshot it.

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

HAHA

[@dopi3220]

Careful, I still remember pathing my own 32/32hydra when the red, white player tried to reflect its damage, It hurt

[@joelhaggis5054]

The way Noah explains his deck reminds me of that fake cheese-centric card game that Prozd made up

[@gyrasolune5436]

it's hilarious how people just freeze up when they see a huge 30/30 trampler like that isn't the most basic goal of a mono green deck. like imagine having no idea how to play against an entire color

[@distranthegloriouslydeform9259]

Sometimes you have got an answer

[@joelhaggis5054]

You sound like a blue player

[@heraldofv3379]

@@joelhaggis5054 actually sounds more like a white player to me (or black)

[@Solrex_the_Sun_King]

Solutions in every other color against a 30/30 trampler:
White: Exile it
Blue: Counter it
Black: kill it
Red: this one is tricky, but just burn them to death before they get enough mana to cast it.
And as a bonus:
Green:
Use your 30/30 to block their 30/30.

[@DoomStarRequiem]

Have you considered sometimes people just don't have removal in hand

[@geoffreyprecht2410]

God, monogreen feels so good to play. Stompy fun.
I've been building decks like this since middle school. Trust me, they take *so much* brain power to make!

[@kds-2049]

Roses are green, violets are green.
Play mtg, play green.

[@adamion1993]

Beautifully said

[@mrfear7920]

The only problem with being faster than light is that you live in complete darkness.

[@Goldschmitt]

Hoooo I'll keep this one in mind!

[@Jackson-ol5xt]

The only problem is that that’s physically impossible. Light is always moving at a constant speed c no matter how fast you are moving.
It’s a good metaphor but highly incorrect.
Source: engineering/physics major

[@mrfear7920]

@@Jackson-ol5xt 🤓

[@Jackson-ol5xt]

@@michaelwaynetucker how does space do what exactly?

[@Jackson-ol5xt]

@@michaelwaynetucker it does indeed appear to expand faster than the speed of light, but space is not moving faster than light. Einstein’s relativity still holds because of this. Source:
“Similarly, what we measure as velocity in galaxies is not actually the galaxies moving, it’s the space in between them getting larger. There’s nothing actually traveling faster than light, hence Einstein’s theory of relativity - which tells us nothing can move faster than light - is not being violated.
I hope this helps but do feel free to get in touch if you have any further questions!”
Dr. Rachael Livermore
UT Austin

[@austintomlinson7863]

...because as you know, when a mtg player thinks about their life choices, their head immediately explodes.

[@randomweeb9240]

My favorite green stomper is Managorger Hydra. It's a 1/1 that's gets +1/+1 (permanent) every time a spell is cast.

[@TinyWarriorAnimations]

Mono green is fun, but as a Black-Green Golfari player; everyone freaks out about 6 20/20 Monsters with death touch.

[@relampagomarquinhos2255]

Every touch of a 20/20 creature is a death touch anyway, even from a mono green

[@Differentialify]

When you add trample to the mix, no amount of blocking can help. Perfection.

[@mrosskne]

@@Differentialify 120 blocking would be sufficient

[@cthulhufhtagn2483]

Add lifelink to the mix for extra insult for your injury.

[@user-vu4jg1db7e]

Just counter, and if you revive, counter it, and if you counter, counter the counter

[@thomasj4145]

Aside from Cultivator Colossus I rarely see people play Unnatural Growth, I can only imagine combining those two together...

[@sythrus]

I play pretty much exclusively with a buddy of mine on cockatrice, and its pretty funny that, over the years, weve had a bit of an arms race to see who can actually beat eachothers preferred playstyle. I tend to play beeg punchy bois where he goes for a lot of alternative win conditions with control decks. With every new thing i discover to make my creatures absolute monstrosities, he discovers some way to try to bring them to heel.
According to him, it has gotten to the point where he now has to stop my ramp before i can win through sheer cost effectiveness alone.
It is currently at the point where he has only like 1 or 2 win conditions, draw, and a sheer mass of counterspells, because if a single thing ever actually gets played on my side of the board, its game over.
I have given him ptsd from all the turns ive been able to play multiple primordial hydras in a row, just so that they can start scaling out of control.
I've recently also discovered Mutate, and oh boy, if that isnt just other colours pretending to be green.
In my hydra tribal deck I literally run that one hydra in particular that completely ignores any form of blue interaction.
Honestly, im grateful for him and his playstyle, as i get the feeling that constantly mirror matching playstyles would just make everything less fun. Its a war of attrition, my ramping boardstate against his ramping card advantage, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Oh, i also sometimes play izzet, exclusively because Niv goes brrr. I barely even use counterspells, i just like the draw.

[@Existence27]

What's the name of the Hydra that just ignores blue

[@sythrus]

@@Existence27 mistcutter hydra, cant be countered, haste, protection from blue, costs {X}{G} and gets X +1/+1 counters

[@sythrus]

@@Existence27 honestly, it just has a very good set of abilities for a hydra, the {X}{G} with haste would alone justify it in a hydra deck

[@Ashainm]

So, if playing green is big brain, and playing blue is small brain, if I play both green and blue, does that make me average brain?

[@ryanorland5389]

Any color mixed with green just becomes green with flavor. RG? Big guys. UG? Big guys with counters. WG? TOKEN big guys. Green is dominate.

[@Sir_Master]

@@ryanorland5389lots of big guys. Having green in a cost just increases the P/T of a card by default

[@shelbywright9134]

Nah man it just makes u cool, simic supremacy

[@dudono1744]

isn't RG "get big bois fast"?

[@jean-sebastienarteau7142]

What I found weird is that nobody have removal. Big green deck are like the easiest kind of deck to play against. They put big stuff and hope that there's no board wipe or removals whatsoever.

[@OtakuNoShitpost]

Yeah, Murder may as well read "Counter target green player"

[@stevenliang3213]

Green is a the most honest color. No tricks or conniving methods like black and blue

[@juliandacosta6841]

@@OtakuNoShitpost isn't there anything like hero's downfall that people play instead of murder? I remember murder being a draft card, like cancel.

[@codyhanson1344]

Until they throw down a heroic intervention

[@lexxiloveless7163]

why do you feel the need to control my deck????????????????????????? focus on yourself

[@andrewtreptow8806]

I play mono green ramp in commander with Ghalta, Primal hunger. Its a 12/12 trample that costs x less where x is the total power among creatures you control. So its 12 trample commander damage every time. whoops.

[@kevinwestermann1001]

I hope you are running ooze garden.

[@andrewtreptow8806]

@@kevinwestermann1001 I am now.

[@jacob4736]

this deck looks super fun, would you feel comfortable posting the list for it?

[@greatnesseeker]

I feel like he will never give us the decklist 😢

[@theinvisiblegentleman1142]

6 seconds in and I can already say with 100% confidence that if you ran for president I would vote for you.

[@Ningflingslinger]

"Beeg numbarz gud!"
-*a green player, probably*

[@RobleViejo]

There is only Two Kinds of Green Player:
- THIS IS A 28/28 BEAR WITH TRAMPLE, VIGILANCE, LIFELINK AND IT SPAWNS 4 BEARS TOKENS
- This is my fursona the Llanowar Elf, and my pack of Elvish Dominatrix who snowball faster than STDs
- ITS GREEN! YEah mon this is my jam. I smoke so much Weed yoo 420 69 !!!2 .What do forests do again?
A real Green Enjoyer is all of them tho

[@chickenking1753]

you must be the third bc that was 3 not 2 lol

[@RobleViejo]

@@chickenking1753 Yep hahahha, that was the joke

[@EastWindCommunity1973]

Nonsubscriber here, I want to thank you for these videos. Since I started watching I've become Mythic #1 ranked in every format.

[@squishytoad3078]

Never played green before.
And I do play a mono blue tempo-control so I guess Noah read minds irl

[@chickenking1753]

Then you've never truly lived

[@TheSpoofster0]

I built my mono green commander deck when I first saw you play cultivator colossus on your channel and it shreds

[@devinbuettgenbach2941]

As a blue player I love green, it's great taking control of all those big monsters then cloning them.

[@feferson492]

me who plays monogreen elves "sure... my creatures are very big..."
but actually, the 'I have no idea what's going on so I'll press the All Attack button' hits way too close to home

[@jigstraw2809]

My buddy's got an "Omnath, Locus of Mana" commander deck that's basically 50% ramp and he just gets omnath to like 70/70 and waits for a "draw cards equal to the greatest power among creatures you control" spell. green player with ~60 mana and most of their deck in hand. it's terrifying

[@un7n0wing85]

I haven't gotten into magic much yet but when I used to play Hearthstone, this was my exact playstyle. You don't have to do math if your numbers are always bigger.

[@anthonycannet1305]

I think it’s funny how he says green players are the best but then like 4 of those games were against other mono green players and he still shits on them…

[@valfreyja2107]

Not enough colossal dreadmaw
I do genuinely love this content tho

[@tanoshichannel2012]

As someone who is a casual player, I do agree with you about big creatures. Also, blue and black decks are the definition of anti fun.

[@KidVivacious]

Seeing this activated the green part of my brain, thank you brother.

[@pirachist551]

As some who’s first deck was a green Kaseto snake tribal deck focused around “make snake big” this had me in stitches laughing

[@enjaded7222]

not enough colossal dreadmaw

[@rennac3152]

“Yeah that’s what I thought” If that isn’t a green player bragging about his board state I don’t know what is

[@shnorkeythefourth4572]

God I love playing green with a few red burn spells or black removal.
Basically green plus some non permanent support colors to protect my creatures as long as it’s not… /blue/

[@Vonhoz]

when in doubt; jund em out. Good man!

[@shnorkeythefourth4572]

@@Vonhoz awaken the woods for 7
Use them to mostly cast tar fiend
Devour them all
18/18 creature that makes them discard their hand and you only needed 2 swamps to cast it, give it haste and you’re nearly gg
Similarly
Awaken for 5
Cast mycoloth
Devour them all
14/14 that makes 10 1/1 tokens every turn

[@joeytmog8267]

what's your opinion on swinging with 30 1/1s instead of 1 30/30

[@bojencaron3019]

average white player be like :

[@jarredchamberlain8066]

Or Cathers crusade and have 30 31/31s lol

[@joeytmog8267]

@@bojencaron3019 i know i play white weenie

[@SteelSabertooth]

"where's your interact bud?" is my favorite thing I get to say playing Green

[@user-rr8iy6mv5f]

Green truly is the best colour. Until you meet an opponent with more than 4 copies of removal in their deck.

[@cnidarianglow1041]

But you know, green is the best color to add more mana for counterspells.

[@mrosskne]

as if I'd only run 4 chonkers lel

[@hoonty4890]

0:48 "NOOOOOOOOOOO" I love that lol

[@victorperez7805]

As a Green player who started playing Magic the Gathering yesterday, this video had really put my thoughts onto a visual representation

[@froggychair9258]

Noah my father please provide a deck list 🙏

[@AegisAuras]

Every time I play something with 6 power or more my brain inflates slightly.

[@KamekazeKuban]

Oh my Timmy smooth brain is happy seeing this 😂😂😂😂
Just got back into the game and used to LOVE multicolor cards, I I play mostly monocolored red or green. This is EXACTLY how it works 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@gozucritic4546]

I so love mono green,one of the best parts of MTG that I always invest my time in!

[@nikkig4802]

Good to see there’s no bias in your color videos

[@elerai1496]

Colossus is a pretty common win-con for Tameshi Bloom decks, if you're wondering.

[@thesonicnacho3159]

Do you think you could do a Inside the mind of a mutate player? I am feeling masochistic.

[@bloodmage7173]

Mutate is just bestow but occasionally worse

[@DokuroHeartvore]

Thats why as a black and green player destruction cards are important

[@MellonVegan]

I play Naya dinos and this makes me feel understood.

[@Shnauften]

Most satisfying deck I ever played was green-red Polyraptor deck. Getting the combo just right for an infinite amount of Polyraptor was just so satisfying to watch.

[@thumb5225]

I saw you made other color videos, but I only watched the green one cause it’s the coolest one.

[@Aphex217Twin]

collected company is a great green card, like in the elf decks, but I know you're more into the beef! I started playing magic back in 2000, and one of us had a deck called "BFC" standing for Big Fucking Creature. Everybody wanted to play Mitch's BFC deck! Then I came up with an epic idea of making a mono green deck with little fast creatures, and giant growths, and rancor's (turns out the idea had already been done) It was called a stompy deck! and nobody could get their big creatures out fast enough to beat me.

[@Overlordough1201]

I may not play MtG, but I recognize dinosaur fans when I see them.

[@clashmoments8137]

Blue is such a nice color in combo with white i love it

[@traumateaminternational4732]

I believe that I have just found the Pianta of MTG.

[@starshade7826]

I play white-green. I just drop Colossification and Eldrazi Conscription on Light-Paws. Because giant fox waifu is hilarious to me.

[@victordavila9812]

Mann that's why green is the best color to start magic it's such a fun run

[@Ascendingashes]

That's why Simic players are the best

[@garythacker6731]

I play a 4 color mono green commander deck. It's Omnath Locus of Creation. The entire goal is to abuse the ritual effect on Omnath, and play big creatures.

[@hmroid6884]

Goblins are the greenest red creature

[@robertbeisert3315]

I have a cherished mono-green I built and honed over the roughly Zendikar era. Elves everywhere, but also Omnomnomnath and two different Garruks, because savage man go "Grrr!".
Elvish Kinship buffs everyone and makes tokens. No big stompies, but turn 5 6/6 wolves everywhere and maybe even a stupid huge Omnath.

[@TheMrVerified]

omfg, I love it. This plays in my head when I'm climbing. "Math is for Blockers." - Polukranos 2023

[@colekopczynski45]

I think this guy likes green.

[@Uthael_Kileanea]

There's a 5/5 dinosaur with haste. It does cost 5 mana, but it always catches people off-guard.

[@prestonasher32]

I’m subscribing purely for the mono green supremacy.

[@impliedvessel9]

0:03 Damn he caught me blue handed

[@koryvali]

i like how the avarage IQ of 100 is shown smaller than red player IQ of 59

[@Stefanos07520]

When I play against Green, I Am astonished that most of the time, their giant creatures don't have trample. I mean, I'll take it LOL.

[@aidanhill9860]

Ok but like as a green player, every time his big creature died and he screamed the most heart wrenching screech is just all too real
Do not hurt my big baby boy cruel blue decks >:(

[@DarkandDeath4]

My favorite thing about green is that I never have to read other people’s cards

[@DianaHatter]

This actually made me wanna play Mtg

[@HonestFaraday]

my favorite flavor of green is putting out a shit ton of elves by turn 4 then topdecking a finale of devastation into craterhoof. there's nothing quite like saying "I'm swinging for 2k with trample" because opp forgot to pack a board wipe or a murder

[@h4ckt0r13]

But Noah! What's my IQ when I'm a Simic-Player?

[@theprogressivecynic2407]

I too am a connoisseur of big green creatures...but my method of playing them in EDH/Historic Brawl is through The Scarab God...

[@johnfairweather7012]

These are reasons why I have a red/black dps deck to counter my green white crusader creatures

[@mcleslieplayz4921]

This is exactly me, i love big creature
Look at me im big creature im better *small thing kills me*

[@tf2sniper449]

As a green player. This is accurate.

[@livedandletdie]

It ain't easy being Green. Sometimes there's a Blue Player Nearby, or that White Bastard, is playing Wrath of God, Swords to Plowshares...etc. Or worse, Armageddon...
I say we ban Blue, Black, White and Red and Colorless from the game.

[@itsjoshcooper]

I have never played mtg so I only kinda understood stuff from other tcg experience, but this was funny af. Great vid. XD

[@vesselthanatos3033]

So glad your here to show us the newest color in magic. It has to be new since i never see anyone play it, i only see blue control, red aggro, and white war crimes.
We dont speak about black

[@FightingDirty]

i have no idea about magic but green seems like it needs a lot of skill

[@soulstarved4116]

You convinced me that this is the best way to play

[@Killdestroyer1]

As I sit here watching this video i realize your right, I have never once seen any green player play Cultivator colossus, and now im going to in my Halana and Alana commanader deck

[@hackbug77]

Cultivator colossus is great. I got it in my Phylath commander deck, which pumps up plants and synergizes with landfall.

[@jorgepadilla6867]

Waiting for the deck list to finally play those colossus from the binder

[@jerrysanchez5453]

"im gonna swing for 63,your move" and then silence is the greenest shit anyone has ever said

[@Lunar_Valkyrie]

Big standard Yu-Gi-Oh! player vibes in this. Don't read anything and swing hoping for the best. If the opponent does something just hope they also didn't bother reading anything on your cards and messes up.

[@TheDustyPeaches]

Forgive me father for I have sinned. I am a Blue player and my fun is directly correlated to how little my opponent is allowed to play.

[@Crazycoyoteify]

My brain when I play Gruul EDH: "Stompy go brrrr"

[@leviathang465]

As someone who picked up MTG literally 2 days ago and got handed a commander Green deck with cultivator. This is correct

[@rickeygurley6080]

I'm a huge fan Noah and now you show this? Love it!! Who could compete with your commentary? 😂😏

[@dknatious_silaxis]

As a Vorinclex main i support this message 🎉😊

[@ashmarten2884]

The smart player does the math.
The wise player has the opponent do the math for them.

[@fiendfi7119]

"I'm just gonna play my creature with double digit stats and let my opponent do the math"

[@falloutisawesome]

Me who plays Blue and Green combined: *Im a menace to society.*

[@fettbub92]

I play a lot of green stompy. I always thought it was low tier, but I like my big creatures that can bw summoned by turn 3 and lethal by turn 4 at latest.

[@thetobi583]

"there's nothing he can do about it." - opponent plays creature removal- "FFFFUUUUU"