5 Surprising Reasons Men Lie to You
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- čas přidán 15. 09. 2022
- It's not secret guys lie - in this video you'll learn WHY they do it, how to respond to their dishonesty and what it means for your relationship.
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Why do men lie to me? Why can't guys tell the truth? Why are all men liars? I hear questions like this a LOT a lot from my clients and students, so I created a video sharing 5 surprising reasons men don't tell you the truth, what it means about their character and their mindset in relationship, and whether or not it's worth continuing a relationship after catching them.
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• 5 Surprising Reasons M...
QUESTION OF THE DAY - How have you responded to men lying in your past relationships?
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Dishonesty is a character flaw. Not anyone's responsibility to create a "safe space" for someone to be honest with you. They either will or they won't. Not my responsibility to take on.
Thanks for sharing!
My favorite is when he says he doesn’t like lying and then he lied to me!! 😢😢
I promise there are good guys out there my dear!
Lies are driven by fear.
It’s so true!
So if you appease the fear they wouldn’t lie? What about lying from the very beginning about a lifestyle for eg. (prostitution) that couldn’t have been as a result of fear of you?
@@jadegreen1554 You cannot appease someone's fear that's the point.If you know the filth of the person you are more than likely to walk away from them and they know it.
@@sunshinestar2244 thanks. I am curious to know how many women have experienced men who have completely lied about who they were (value-wise) and presented the “perfect” appearance. Players are kind of obvious, you see them - but a guy who pretends to be an introvert yet womanizes, clandestinely… claims to be nervous yet can hold a conversation better than most.
I’m curious how many of those out there able to pull off such a hat-trick. Curious how many women knew men who said they have no interest in stripe clubs/prostitutes bc it makes no sense, they have no connection and they need connection to engage/there is no “meaning” there, it is all “rote” and dull (seemingly plausible, honest answers), yet turns out to have been frequenting it (who knows how regularly), having only friends who seem to like these kinds of women, have “conversation-relationships” with these women, virtual escapades with others, who knows what else, all in secret, while presenting perfectly to be mr. normal. Even condemning the men who are players and users (so it would seem they have their heads screwed on about them - they don’t excuse “bad behaviour”).
Really curious how many women experienced such a “complete” phony, no tinge of bad-boy, in sight.
@@jadegreen1554 I'm one,he had a whole different life despite telling me otherwise.They are first class manipulators and will tell you what ever they need too as long as their needs are served.
1. He's afraid of hurting your feelings. I.e. He thinks you don't look good in an outfit but doesn't want to upset you.
2. He's avoiding being vulnerable. I.e. He says he's fine when he actually had a bad day.
3. He's trying to avoid conflict. I.e. He meets your father and your father is hard on him. You ask what he thinks of your father. He says he likes your father to avoid conflict.
4. He thinks it's what men do. I.e. He might be lacking a positive male role model in his life. He has an absent or dishonorable father. The biggest red flag. This is fundamental and he will most likely not change. Consider leaving him.
5. He doesn't want to get caught. I.e. He cheated on you.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
For one I would not be in a relationship with someone that lies. They start doing it they keep doing it. It's a habit. Thank you so much for explaining and breaking down things. I have a whole new outlook on things
I'm happy that this resonated with you!
Lies are a choice and let’s assume they may start with the best of intentions not to hurt someone but if they choose to lie over and over , once caught out, then perhaps they are just not a person with integrity and they don’t value honesty and trust
Absolutely!!! ❤️
W comment
This is a very well thought out video.🏆
Thank you! ❤❤❤
I usually go dead silent when I find out you lied to me. But I do strive to understand and give a few chances b4 making solid decisions.
Don’t give up on love sister!
Thanks Matt.
You're welcome!
Truth men who lie don't change they just learn to lie better.
Not at all my dear:)
I love your content. Is opening my perception and mind. You very gifted ❤❤❤
Wow, thank you ❤
I’m sure he doesn’t want me to lie about what I’m doing to “avoid conflict”.
Amazing!
someone lied about his age, family name and that he was divorced twice, it was weird i knew he was very insecure, i thought he is a man that i can relay on. and i left immediately
That was a good call!
How did you find out though? It could go on for YEARS
@@jadegreen1554 thank you so much for your kind words on my comment....bless you too
@@jadegreen1554 i asked people in his city
8:12 'if a man's lips are moving he's lying.' A quote by jaded over 30's.
Thanks for sharing!
A lie Is a lie…at some point those lies will get worn out and he’ll start telling you the truth and now you believed he’s a narcissist because he got comfortable. Dishonesty is not a thing for me. And people can say “well, that’s why you’ll be single.” I’ll rather be single than be lied to even if it’s in the beginning. Instead of dishonesty…just be like “ i don’t feel comfortable yet.” Idk I’m very open in communication so don’t believe in lies in relationships… we pose to be ONE and equally yolked.
But if both people are liars…then I guess it’s okay because you can’t expect something that you can’t give.
I appreciate your opinion on this! ❤️
Hi Mr Shaffer!excellent video!I really needed to see this because Im currently in a relationship with a younger guy,25 and Im 35 .He has lied to me since day one and we have been together for around 2 years and I love him but it kills me everytime he lies to me.sometimes big lies and sometimes small but I de have broken up so many times that we lost count of how many times.the gaslighting is probably the worst. How would you analyse the sentence "if I hold up 3 fingers and I tell you its 5 fingers you have to believe me"
I don't what do😔
We don’t know the full extent this, though if you have broken up that many times and it hasn’t worked and gaslighting has continued - walk.
Anytime you break up and get back together, things have to be VERY different from both sides: actions and communication for it to work and that’s the truth. If it’s not, if there’s been no growth during that break up and you come back together, it’s going to be the same crap. You BOTH have to want it to be different.
There is a quote I’m not sure by who, but it says: “doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.”
He’s not expecting you to walk and may even tell you you can’t find any better…and you may believe him.
Work on your self-esteem and self value - he doesn’t value you.
Start working on valuing yourself and you’ll attract what you’re looking for more; a better man.
Someone else said and I can’t remember who, if you have to convince yourself or ask yourself if it’s worth trying more - then it’s crap you have to go.
@@VocalGymnast thank you for your response. I really appreciate it.
💛
hes a sociopath my dear and not the guy for you! time to release him!
@@Mat_Shaffer thanks.....I did for the last time.☺
@@mariellatv9444 strength and power to you. I am sorry you have been through this and it is going to be hard and painful, give yourself time to grieve what you lost in yourself etc and start to rebuild. Keep strong. It’s traumatizing what youve gone through and don’t doubt you may need help and therapy and prayers to heal. Best of luck be with you 🙏
If I find out a man cheated, I’m done It’s not about him , it’s about me I just can’t ever trust him again
Absolutely! ✨
When I smell a lie, I say "my BS meter is well calibrated"
haha love it!
yup, can't be with a liar. that ship can sail, I jumped out lol. [about #4 specifically]
Thanks for sharing!
Everyone tells a lie at some point in life or early relationships. I've hurt my man's feelings so I either omit complete truth or soften the blow.
So true! thank you for sharing
Omitting is “lying by omission” though, and just as or even more painful. “Hurt me with the truth rather than comfort (destroy) me with a lie”
I live and work in Austin Texas as well. Does anybody ask God for guidance anymore? Spirit to Spirit to Spirit? Cultivating a spiritual relationship can be very rewarding and the guidance is perfect. Meaning, saying, "Holy Spirit, show me what I'm not seeing, guide me where it'll make the most difference." God created a still small voice for a reason.
Thanks for sharing!
Rule of thumb he will let you know when you look good in something I mean really let you know you won’t have to ask 😂
Thanks for sharing!
Lie,? Is a sign of weakness
Absolutely!
He try to protect my feeling by tell me lies he didnt tell me he in relationship with other girl. While i was with him all along 3yrs. Knowing his parents. Go to his hometown instead he called with other woman. It killed me when i know all his lies. At the end of the day i force him to tell me the truth, he say he dont feel the comfortable he neeed with me he tried but he didnt tell me before n to make this work. Suddenly behind my back he with other woman!! Then i hug him he hug me. I cried he cried. He keep kissing my head. N he cried n cried..why the hell he cry?? Is he still like me???? It kills me. Ive been cry for daaayss
He said its too late he is with the gurl but i know if he decide to be with the gurl its gonna be long it hurt me as fuck im feel so suffocated
Thanks for sharing! 🤗
@@Mat_Shaffer would u pls help me to identify another man behaviour? Omg i must me so innocent for not knowing man at my age that i feel like this 😭😭😭so he is with other woman. Cheat in front all of our circle while he was with me, home with me,hell now he is in relationship with other while me just fwb. Short story so he try to distance me just now while they already start it by early this year. Its horrible cos he lied abt who the girl is, he take person in our circle, he took me to his Hometown (twice already) all the red flag. But when i still chase him n hug him from back he accept it, why???is it like whatever kinda gesture?
I'm sorry! This man does not determine your worth. He lied to protect himself and his action show no regard for you and prove he has zero respect. You deserve better than that. You can't trust him and that pain will remain. Walk away knowing you are a much better person. So the right man can enter your life.
Number 3 is extremely contraproductive.
Thank you for your opinion!
Men lie about having affair because they want to continue having both😊
Good point!
@@Mat_Shaffer not a good move tho🥺it hurt bad 😭😭
It's obnoxious
Thanks so much for your feedback!
I think you are defending your lies
Everything he said is true in the video we all know all those reason are excuses to yall dont care at all so 😂😂😂
I appreciate your opinion on this!
Glad to help.
SMH at this crap. So, let's see...be a safe space to help your partner do this or that HOPING he meets you half way. Been there, done that. People are who they are. We are not put on this Earth to help a guy communicate better, be vulnerable, open up, heal, etc. You lose yourself trying to do this. It's exhausting and draining. Guys will tell you what you wanna hear to get what they want, and it's typically sex. It's that simple. Teal Swan addresses it way better than this goofy video.
We, as women, waste years of our lives and peace trying to be the person you're suggesting, trying to figure a puzzle out, and at the end of the day, the guy still hides, lies, defends himself, etc. Who loses? The woman and the sacrifices she's made with relentless hope.
I promise there are good guys out there my dear!