"If you are being lied to in a relationship.." - Matthew Hussey

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  • čas přidán 4. 12. 2022
  • "If you are being lied to in a relationship.." - Matthew Hussey #shorts
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Komentáře • 113

  • @sajdahBhumble
    @sajdahBhumble Před rokem +150

    Facts. Never trust someone that bashes their ex and proclaims to have no mistakes on their part of the relationship.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 4 měsíci +2

      I tell the story but bashing? Listen we all have a part to play but my ex was a con artist so yes I made mistakes but he stole from banks and everything! That trauma needs to be addressed.

  • @jermainamburayan580
    @jermainamburayan580 Před rokem +138

    Basically, that means be 100% honest no matter how bad it may seem. Then let them choose.

  • @Chrissyboo777
    @Chrissyboo777 Před 5 měsíci +17

    Disrespect is never okay. Once you start telling truths, you never have to remember a lie again

  • @Sophiecandy
    @Sophiecandy Před rokem +116

    I think a reason a lot of us struggle to say those hard parts is so often, women in particular, are framed as having "trust issues" if we question things. I believe it is healthy to have questions and everyone deserves to feel safe. It's rare to have the kind of confidante/s who will not victim blame or turn things around. I know my friends innocently have a bad habit of "wishful thinking" or giving far too much benefit of the doubt-as if I need to be more patient or trusting - despite what my gut is telling me. That alone is enough to have me doubting things which can lead to accepting being lied to. It's all very tricky and at the end of the day I have learned to trust my gut. It's honestly never been wrong, even when I've wanted it to be.

    • @jermainamburayan580
      @jermainamburayan580 Před rokem +3

      Totally agree. For me , it is being honest, sometimes coming across as brutal but I think that is best. Ya i do get that kind of advice too. i am so in tune with myself that I prefer to listen to my head than my heart. Intuition. does that mean I am an introvert?

    • @chrismccaffrey8256
      @chrismccaffrey8256 Před rokem

      It all boils down to self worth

    • @Alixir1228
      @Alixir1228 Před 9 měsíci +1

      My most recent ex told me I was insecure when I asked questions, and it turns out he WAS texting dirty with the girls I questioned. I found out 3 weeks after I dumped him that it was for our whole relationship.

    • @swatithapa3222
      @swatithapa3222 Před 6 měsíci

      @@Alixir1228 The gut gives you signals n it’s never wrong. We need to start crediting our gut more than the therapists, family and friends who claim to know better. Trust that they don’t, it’s your gut alone!

  • @chriscolwell1590
    @chriscolwell1590 Před rokem +49

    Fear of the truth, we know when we are lied too, our gut tells us but the thought of the pain within and the disappointment of knowing that we know, drives us in to a disbelief state due to us wanting to see that person is not the type to let us down. Believe in yourself because at some moment in time the truth will come out, believe me.

  • @paulklahn7705
    @paulklahn7705 Před rokem +50

    After driving home from a marriage counseling session in which my wife confessed having an affair, I pulled over and parked the vehicle. In tears I told her that I was willing if she was willing to put in the work to save our marriage, I also asked her nicely if she would be willing to not go back to her hometown bars with all the late nights and drinking and if she would please start wearing her wedding ring again. She said, that's my home, I'm not gonna stay away from all the bars and I'm not going to wear the ring, the ring has no symbolism, shouldn't matter if I wear it or not.
    I started driving again, I rolled down my window, and threw my ring out the window. I said, "Well, since it doesn't mean anything."
    This was the version she told her friends, " after our counseling session my husband decided to throw his wedding ring out the car window and said we are done!" 😂😂

    • @kimecosx
      @kimecosx Před 6 měsíci +3

      🥺🫂 I'm sorry

    • @clarencewomack1862
      @clarencewomack1862 Před 6 měsíci +3

      God blessed you brother. I appreciate your story. The ring was already out the wondow

    • @jessstirland8338
      @jessstirland8338 Před 5 měsíci +3

      You shouldve thrown her out after her comments.....shes learnt nothing from counselling & her marraige is not the Priority anymore bu the sounds of it. PLAN ACCORDINGLY (Assets, Savings etc)

  • @dee_077
    @dee_077 Před rokem +31

    When people lied to me they actually lied to themselves btw which keeps them in their lower state

    • @Mari-lv1rd
      @Mari-lv1rd Před rokem +4

      Yes my sister...I told him "when you disrespect me you disrespect yourself"...he ran like a child

  • @delicateweapon4041
    @delicateweapon4041 Před rokem +39

    I did this! Then a narcissist ruined my life with it. Dangerous advice.

    • @Sophiecandy
      @Sophiecandy Před rokem +16

      I agree with you. I think this clip runs on the assumption that the people we choose as confidants are automatically good people who are always looking out for our best interests. Narcissists are particularly good at turning loved ones against the survivor, but that can happen with all types of abusers. Again, for the right person in ideal circumstances this advice works well I imagine. But dangerous to put it out there as blanket advice for just anyone no matter what the circumstances. I am shocked there aren't such disclaimers in this video, especially considering the nature of it. He's asking we expose the ugliest parts - for plenty of that it is ABUSE. Survivors have to be really careful with who they share to, and this vid should have said as much.

    • @michelemichaylo4843
      @michelemichaylo4843 Před rokem +5

      Also though, telling a good friend the whole details could save you from a narcissist. I know it's hard to tell who's genuine anymore.

    • @winnieamar9368
      @winnieamar9368 Před rokem +4

      I know,i find the advice very naive,it can get you into deep trouble.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Agreed!

  • @anne-marieh6128
    @anne-marieh6128 Před 8 měsíci +2

    This gentleman! ALWAYS demonstrates such a clear and practical understanding that sadly evades most of us when trying to sort out relational issues. I never skip over a reel that features him when it pops up on my feed. He’s a gem!!!Thank you for featuring him Lisa. Your content is also ALWAYS outstanding!

  • @no_worries194
    @no_worries194 Před 11 měsíci +5

    This can help people grow ! This has helped me so many times with my bf. Without this, we would break up so many times. We are still together.

  • @7clippers1
    @7clippers1 Před 9 měsíci +3

    I don’t have a good enough anything for this situation. it’s hard when there’s nobody to talk to about it.

  • @iricellyperez2677
    @iricellyperez2677 Před 2 měsíci

    Ive done this but I dnt have anyone brave enough to tell me the truth. Only one person and she's helped me more that i can truly understand at the moment. ❤

  • @muslimahsharing4761
    @muslimahsharing4761 Před rokem +6

    Exactly! That's like acknowledging that there is, a problem. So the next step can occur. Fixing, doing different thing, to have a different outcome.
    If you don't do it, you'll just be running around in cycle of disappointments, while denying yourself.

  • @sherristevens3972
    @sherristevens3972 Před rokem +3

    Exactly 💯 AMEN be yourself and just go slow. Be honest. He's spot on about this 👏

  • @krystalnasr8847
    @krystalnasr8847 Před rokem +9

    I just love hearing him and his truths

  • @YaminiKalluri98
    @YaminiKalluri98 Před rokem +5

    Yes I held out that information from my friends for a long time and got stuck in a very bad relationship.

  • @michelemichaylo4843
    @michelemichaylo4843 Před rokem +7

    This is so true and powerful, yet hard to do. But do it, say it.

  • @kjshow4173
    @kjshow4173 Před rokem +2

    I made her feel safe. I was emotionally vulnerable and available. She's healing from major surgery and won't let me in.

  • @rochellehannah-nv3jq
    @rochellehannah-nv3jq Před 11 měsíci +3

    Yes, I’m reviewing a dear friendship right now. I know what I am about these days. I’ve observed myself with compassion. I need to release him with love. Resentments are coming up, they tell me I’m hurt, then I look closer & see it’s a feeling I’ve had before. It has nothing to do with him. It has everything to do with me.

  • @mystiquemystique3682
    @mystiquemystique3682 Před rokem +3

    This is true. Say it all no and don't worry about judgment. We can all be crazy from time to time. We're human after all.

  • @clairexxx0405
    @clairexxx0405 Před 11 měsíci +2

    You have to be willing to show you're vulnerable if you want them to show theirs.

  • @GingerLeigh-hd1qx
    @GingerLeigh-hd1qx Před rokem +2

    The only thing I wished I’d had at the time was a choice.. I deserved that.. but I was lied to about their past..

  • @Bianca2802
    @Bianca2802 Před rokem +8

    I like that. But what if you confront the other person with all your concerns and they just shut you down, saying "Please stop overreacting, I have a lot of stress in my life anyways"

  • @michellepigoni7999
    @michellepigoni7999 Před 7 měsíci

    True in every way… Thankful for your kindness!

  • @mmommo-hx4dx
    @mmommo-hx4dx Před rokem +3

    if you are too honest and they are turned off, then good riddance.

  • @chrismccaffrey8256
    @chrismccaffrey8256 Před rokem +1

    It all boils down to self worth.

  • @melissahoglund392
    @melissahoglund392 Před rokem +3

    I think I tear up on 99% of your videos it just seems t I hit home in some way. 💜💛 minnesota sending good vibes & who is the women that is always listening to you, she is just genuine & neat looking if that makes sense but she is beautiful 🙂 & thank you for sharing this stuff, it all makes perfect sense to me!

  • @scc8728
    @scc8728 Před 14 dny

    Love this

  • @billywatson1552
    @billywatson1552 Před rokem +1

    I can’t tell my dad that i think he was sleeping with my ex through our breakup. I have been through so much its like i have experienced it but i don’t know if its true. I know if it was, i would never find out. But i want to just cry and ask then to tell me, but i don’t want to be wrong and then maybe i have gone psychotic. But i believe they both would do it.

  • @show_me_your_kitties
    @show_me_your_kitties Před 10 měsíci

    I say it, I say it all. It gives you power.

  • @ritamcbride2017
    @ritamcbride2017 Před 7 měsíci

    The truth will set you free!!
    🙏📿🇱🇷❤🙏📿🇱🇷🙏📿🇱🇷❤🙏📿

  • @theomm363
    @theomm363 Před 11 měsíci

    💝 Such a clever man! Thank you for your gift💖

  • @lizramazetti1622
    @lizramazetti1622 Před 10 měsíci +1

    My relationship was stronger after I heard everything my bf had to say I always encouraged him to talk to Mr no matter how bad it is because it gives us something to work on

  • @beverleyabrown488
    @beverleyabrown488 Před 11 měsíci +4

    Noooooo … people can use your truth against you.

    • @jaciemokidm2287
      @jaciemokidm2287 Před 2 měsíci

      That’s the risk of trust though right? With a therapist and friend, people tend to build a rapport first.

  • @alexandraallen9247
    @alexandraallen9247 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I feel like I’m being cheated on and my family doesn’t believe me and acts like I’m crazy

  • @Yo_Gma
    @Yo_Gma Před rokem +4

    When in a safe zone. That's what friends are for.

  • @kristinapeciuliene2068
    @kristinapeciuliene2068 Před rokem +1

    I adore you!! The best💖

  • @maxonout
    @maxonout Před rokem +1

    Incorrectly connecting the dots is not where a person is healthy. Dont decide the truth before you know it.

  • @julievanzile2482
    @julievanzile2482 Před rokem

    Dead on! Get it on the table.

  • @ShannonLeeSD
    @ShannonLeeSD Před 11 měsíci +1

    The best relationship advice

  • @826roo
    @826roo Před 6 měsíci

    Yup , I need too learn this

  • @643OMG
    @643OMG Před rokem +14

    I only have those conversations with Jesus Christ! 😂 I be telling him the little little littlest details!

  • @claudiarivera2463
    @claudiarivera2463 Před rokem

    Gracias gracias my inglish understand everything!!this man is enough!!!on everything!!

  • @klscriviner
    @klscriviner Před 8 měsíci +1

    Good way of destroying relationships is lies. How the hell are people suppose to trust you.

  • @mariabanholzer5960
    @mariabanholzer5960 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you Matthew! Like/love to listen to you. Should have heard that years ago!!!!!!!!
    ❤from Marseilles

  • @melrobbins5233
    @melrobbins5233 Před 9 měsíci

    Good point

  • @undisclosed6369
    @undisclosed6369 Před 11 měsíci +1

    I dont think there is a table for all my crazy

  • @nmorto2013
    @nmorto2013 Před měsícem

    Yep. My ex cheated our whole relationship and lied about it. Whew. I missed every sign.

  • @RohitMishraBrand
    @RohitMishraBrand Před 5 měsíci

    Lovely 😊

  • @medisorroman6071
    @medisorroman6071 Před 7 měsíci

    I claim it ❤

  • @paulawilson7200
    @paulawilson7200 Před rokem

    So true 😢

  • @jeanannedupratt7075
    @jeanannedupratt7075 Před 10 měsíci

    I did. He confirmed his relationship with an old friend by spilling the beans on my confidences shared with him in our intimate moments, justifying it with ' that' s why I love her' to them. That's not Love.

  • @myrnasharif499
    @myrnasharif499 Před rokem

    i liked your views and
    opinion, its our everyday
    problem , in this crazy
    world !!

  • @supritiphani1282
    @supritiphani1282 Před rokem

    You are right , I found out by talking to someone

  • @George-pi1kf
    @George-pi1kf Před 9 měsíci

    Snapple fact's WOW the truth 😂😂😂

  • @rickys845
    @rickys845 Před rokem +2

    I have no one to talk to 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @rosapasquale8179
      @rosapasquale8179 Před 8 měsíci

      There's God, just reach out.. he's close to the brokenhearted. 🙏

  • @rosemarybrewington8250

    Great advice........thank you

  • @jerinpeter1390
    @jerinpeter1390 Před 2 měsíci

    I went to the therapist. I was told I have anger issues within 3 seconds. Told the therapist everything. The next point was I can speak to the therapist everything but not in the relationship. I am so confused out of my mind.

  • @itsRudeGal
    @itsRudeGal Před rokem

    I agree with him…

  • @krithigamanickam6667
    @krithigamanickam6667 Před 5 měsíci

    The moment you do this, it’s the end of that relationship. People get easily offended even if you say that they hurt you unknowingly in the most polite way.

    • @Cantdisrespectoremasculatemeun
      @Cantdisrespectoremasculatemeun Před 4 měsíci

      Unknowingly are not you must take accountability and allow yourself to accept you did it regardless if you were knowledgeable of or not. If you feel the need to go talk to somebody else about your relationship and the issues you're going through and you deliberately leave out all or some of the facts that you feel you don't want to let people know. You aren't only just lying to other people and being manipulative you are also lying to yourself

  • @ruthelyons3921
    @ruthelyons3921 Před 8 měsíci

    Agreed.

  • @user-wn5dm6in5m
    @user-wn5dm6in5m Před 5 měsíci

    everything is going to work out im nit put to get anyone Im appreciative that I have had a roof over my head, if something isnt right god will handle it I dont have time or the patience to fight Ive been beat enough through this entire situation...

  • @sarahdiv2731
    @sarahdiv2731 Před 6 měsíci

    Be Honest

  • @robbyphillips5251
    @robbyphillips5251 Před rokem

    Very good

  • @r.mariebrown6733
    @r.mariebrown6733 Před 6 měsíci

    I married a narcissist and I did have doubts but I didn't listen to my doubts because i talked to my fiance and he told me things that I wanted to here and I thought that he understand my doubts and won't do the things I was worried about. Turns out he lied.

  • @gerrym1093
    @gerrym1093 Před 10 měsíci

    Yep!😔

  • @ginb981
    @ginb981 Před 6 měsíci

    💯

  • @KashyGhislaine
    @KashyGhislaine Před rokem

    He told a huge lie and I caught him. He doesn't know that I know.. I could have went off on him but I controlled myself and now I don't know how to confront him. I don't know what to do...

  • @lancefurcinite6518
    @lancefurcinite6518 Před rokem

    Yeah, and somethings are better left unsaid.

  • @as-gi-rt9ky
    @as-gi-rt9ky Před 5 měsíci

    This was my mistake, trying to protect her, trying not to let my friends and families know how badly she behaves. Eventually I married her and suffer for years, I mean years...

  • @PostNutPreNut
    @PostNutPreNut Před 11 měsíci +1

    Oh, my friends always say "drop that bitch" and they're always right

  • @harshilnihalani
    @harshilnihalani Před rokem +1

    But sometimes the immature friends can fuel your ego even more, brain wash you with all he hate and somebody who didn't know your partner makes a totally bad judgement about them because they're biased and not right in their own paths
    It is so much to talk to God at those times, all the answers are within, one does not have to go to anybody to ask them out anything or any validation they can take time apart, think radically and spiritually, keep everything in consideration, give it a 360° view and make their own intentional, intution driven decisions rather than going to people who are not connected to their own souls first or have their life sorted or are just crap people who like passing judgements and hate upon people and brain wash their friends and sideline their minds with other not good things, it makes people ignore the real thing, and also the learning, the lesson, their own thing, be able to trust themselves and all and all and all

  • @themis828
    @themis828 Před rokem

    What if you've said that to your friend AND your partner and they still hide behind their delusion. Heres a better one. What if they recognized it after the event, then tell you they are sorry.. then do the same thing 20 mins later but instead of taking accountability they turn around and say, "this time is different"
    How the hell is saying one thing and doing another not a lie or a betrayal of the previous promise or statement made to "stop doing..x...y..z"

  • @user-lh2br1sj1q
    @user-lh2br1sj1q Před 6 měsíci

    👌👌👌👌👌👌🙏

  • @MS-ns4ki
    @MS-ns4ki Před 4 měsíci

    I want to reach out to someone and explain myself but I don’t think he cares

  • @hollyvallese3867
    @hollyvallese3867 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Question. If a guy goes silent on u bc he says he'd rather not fight but u say well if u stay silent ur telling me u dont care and he says he will work on it then u still fight about the same thing months almost year later, whats that mean ? How long is love patient for ?

  • @jamesemberton9661
    @jamesemberton9661 Před rokem

    🖤🖤🖤🖤🔥

  • @hanaahmadi6732
    @hanaahmadi6732 Před rokem

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @FOX43Topeka
    @FOX43Topeka Před 5 měsíci +1

    Ok that's enough CZcams for today.

  • @edv9142
    @edv9142 Před 11 měsíci +1

    You can't tell your girlfriend/wife anything you wouldn't want her girlfriends to know. Women can't keep secrets from their bffs lol.

  • @OO-bq1ff
    @OO-bq1ff Před rokem

    ... and then they'll call you an energy vampire

  • @anelbaeza9728
    @anelbaeza9728 Před 4 měsíci

    Communication

  • @Anu-jf2jb
    @Anu-jf2jb Před rokem

    What bgm is this

  • @rcarter1able
    @rcarter1able Před 10 měsíci

    The nodding woman

  • @wesayftb
    @wesayftb Před rokem

    Advice unclear, she has now cheated

  • @user-zz1bs2pj5v
    @user-zz1bs2pj5v Před 5 měsíci

    my ex boyfriend taylor neal is telling lies about me that i am not starting the rumors about him and coco and he is snaping on me and my new boyfriend mark mcdoland

  • @bellakeen6336
    @bellakeen6336 Před rokem

    😅😅

    • @bellakeen6336
      @bellakeen6336 Před rokem

      😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😅😮

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 Před 4 měsíci

    Bad advice!!! People need to earn things in life!!! No no no and this allows you to be destroyed by a vulture! Narracist are vultures!