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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- Ernie Glam discusses the death of Michael Alig, his perspective on what led to the overdose and The Peeew's future.
Peeewers who want to continue following Ernie can do so at:
Twitter: ernieglam
Instagram: @AttentionShifter and @FlouncyTV
I could always see that you were a good soul ernie. Alot of the other club kids were so shallow but your substance as a decent person always shined through.
Ernie is a wonderful human being. 🙂
Truly.
Agreed.
I think he matured a lot over the years tho, he could be a bitch sometimes you know ? like everybody I guess. But I sure would love to have a friend like him today. His love and loyalty is truly moving.
Coming back to this 2 1/2 years later and want to say how wonderful and genuine you were and still are, especially as it relates to Michael. Hope you’re well, Ernie ♥️
“Everyone needs to have a friend who will forgive you even if you do the most horrible thing imaginable.” That's the true meaning of friendship
Unfortunately, addicts who Rest In Peace don’t leave their close ones to live in peace, for a while anyway. Thank you for your video. It is a very balanced view and remembrance of your friend who lived a tragic life. I once read that moving away from a toxic situation is sign of mental health, not of abandonment and I truly believe that. What I wish for you is that you take solace in your own family unit and, over time, feel less burdened by memories and lingering regrets. I hope you find happiness in 2021!
Even in the old party tapes you were always looking out for him, glancing to check on him. It felt as if you're the only real friend he's had.
You're a beautiful soul Ernie!
You are not responsible for another man’s happiness Ernie. You can’t reason with an addict, so you made the right decision to distance yourself from him. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend and I hope you can give all of this a place in your mind so you can be at peace. Be proud of yourself and Take care! ❤️
I forgot to say I am sad for your losing a good friend. You stood with him as so many left. Thank you, Ernie.
Ernie, don't be hard on yourself, you did everything you could. RIP Michael Alig.
I only met him a few times, and it was shortly after he was out, but his magnetism was undeniable. That being said I have quite a few friends that knew him, loved him, and watched idly by not knowing how bad things had gotten. I believe you did everything in your power and no one has a right to point fingers. I'm glad you're not dwelling on what you could have done. We all have to care for us and our first, especially in this climate. The best advice I've ever gotten was from a flight attendant. Put your mask on first before you help adjust anyone else's. RIP Michael and I hope you are at peace.
Yess !! Very well stated !
So very sorry for your loss. You were such an incredible friend to Michael.
Ernie, thank you for posting such an eloquent and deeply felt remembrance of your friend. It was easy, even natural, to hate on Michael Alig, and it speaks for your generosity of spirit that you would forgive him his horrible crime, making the good point that everyone, even him, needed (if not deserved) at least one forgiving friend. And a case can be made that The Peeew! actually prolonged his life, that it did give him hope for something better. At all events, you are a good friend, and a good person. Boy, it's been one hell of a year, that's for sure.
Hating anyone is by nature and definition unnatural
You were a good friend to Michael....He just couldn’t get out of his own way....
Addiction is terrible....Sad that he could not find his way out.
I really feel you have said it all and in really kind words .
Bullshit. Good friends don't brag about their own drug usage while sitting next to their addict friend.
This is a very honest ode to your friend. He may not have deserved you, but he was lucky to have you. I’m sure he knew that. I’m sorry for your loss. Addiction is a horror. There are very clear ties to mental health. Self medicating to numb the chaos in your mind. It’s helpless. I don’t think there is anyone that hasn’t been touched by the devastation of addiction in some respect. It’s very close to home for our family. I respect all of your decisions. I think you made the right ones.
You’re a good man for trying to help him.
Bryan R correction ' helped him ' he would have died long before now and not had the fun he did have with Ernie if Ernie had just 'tried ' .you are so kind to send your condolences anyway,you are kind
RIP Michael Alig. Ernie you are the best friend someone could ask for and you are an incredibly genuine guy. A true inspiration. Stay strong.
That was a really nice message. I’ve struggled with heroin addiction in the past and there’s nothing you can do to stop someone doing what they’re gonna do. And don’t beat yourself up about distancing yourself either. Problematic drug users are a whirlwind of chaos and sometimes you have to look after yourself or you’ll be dragged under with them. Hope you’re okay and thanks for the kind words.
I'm sorry for your loss. You were a true friend it's clear.
Ernie, thank you for the post. I only started perusing your videos after a Google feed of Michaels death. Im 5 years younger than Michael, and Im a gay man who grew up in Indiana. Ive started watching all the videos, the Geraldo and talk show appearances, and Ive become especially enamored by all of Nelson Sullivans video. I entered a very scaled down version of the club scene in Indianapolis after my own family tossed me aside for being gay. I can relate to so many of the videos and almost feel I was there. I felt for Michael in your Peeew episodes, as he seemed to be struggling, and I so admired and respected you in how you dealt with him. You obviously adored him, in the midst of all his trials, etc. I didnt even remember what he did or the movie that portrayed it. At any rate, I was hoping we would hear from you. Michael is now at rest, and his Maker now is the only one to judge, as I see many others do so on posts. May God bless his soul. And may God continue to bless your journey. From what Ive seen, you are an amazing man. Thank you again.
Well said, I agree with you 100%.
It’s comforting to hear there is someone else who is interested in watching Nelson Sullivan’s videos and the Peew. I feel the same way you express when I watch some of those. Thanks for sharing
@@junnojunno1771 Same! I don't know how many times I've watched Nelson's videos and wish I could've had him and Christina as bffs? ❤❤❤❤❤
Nelson Sullivan's videos are charming, endearing, and so very easy to devour, stumbling across them, as I did. Like so much of the energy, and all else, that helped immortalize a +decade long NYC era, I cannot help but be reminded of Warhol's... & in the best ways possible~~
It always upset and enraged me how people can disown their family due to sexual orientation. My 15 year old son came out to his father and I less than a year ago and I couldn't be more proud of him for knowing who he is. I was worried about his father because I know when we were married and I was pregnant we had a discussion about it and he said he'd hoped none of our kids would turn out LGBTQ+. So when my son told me I asked how his father reacted and he said you're my son I love you no matter what I support you no matter what. That made me tear up. It's so important to be loved supported and respected. Then my son said all his friends who are LGBTQ+ told him you're so lucky to have both parents love and support you because at least one or both have disowned them. It's so heartbreaking. I know that I had a hard time as a kid accepting the fact that I was not fully straight. And my dad is not supportive at all he's rather nasty about it. My mom has never said anything ignorant about it but I know she preferred I was straight. If you are a parent of a child who is in the LGBTQ+ fam please please please love them and hug them and make sure they know you are proud of them for the person they are!!! Much love and respect to you
I’m really sad this has happened, I used to be a clubber in the U.K. in the early 90,s and came across Clara the Chicken and the Club kids on a show called Manhattan Cable that was airing at that time. I was so jealous of your party scene and wished I could have partied with you guys.all we have are good memories now and wouldn’t change them for the world, I’ve also lost friends to drugs and I’m really surprised I’m still here given the amount of drugs I took back then. I’ve been clean now for over 25 years, I’m now 51 and happy
death isn't the end of life. it's a part of it.
It’s actually to be celebrated. There should be a zoom meeting on New Years toasting to death and a new year in behalf of Michael. I know it still hurts Ernie. You didn’t let the comments go through. I barely knew mike and I actually felt welcomed and comfortable. I never met him but his tactics were actually very entertaining.
Ernie is a class act!
RIP Angel & RIP Michael
If I’m not mistaking he was Clara the carefree chicken
@@sneakyhomecook233 yup he was. 😁
Ernie I’ve watched this so many times. I was so devastated to hear of Michael’s passing. I keep thinking about what he said at the end of the last documentary. “If they can make over time square the way they have, surely I can make over myself”. I have a bit of a personal connection with the Gatiens- Jen specifically- and I have always talked about how I hoped his life would become a success story. I know what he did was terrible but I think he was complicated but had so much potential going forward in life. I’m glad he had you as a friend throughout his life... you seem like a kind, generous person who never took advantage of your friendship. Wish you the best
Sending so much love to you Ernie, and a massive bear hug. Your compassion and guidance for Michael was clear, and the world could see that. I think one of the best gifts you gave each-other, was the pew. You will always have these videos to reminisce on, and you shared it with CZcams, so we can do the same. Thank you. You have a heart that the rest of the world needs. The world needs more Ernies. God bless you, and be with you in all of your days, and may you always find peace in your toughest ones. You are a great person. X
-And thank you for making a video in your most vulnerable time, it couldn’t of been easy. X
Rip Michael Alig ~
Rip Angel Melendez ~
You seemed to be the only constant in his very chaotic life. You are a wonderful person for everything you did. May the all the souls involved finally find quiet.
Thank you for posting this. I was kind of waiting for a statement from you, James St. James, or someone who knew him well. I have had moments of reflection about Michael, his unmistakeable energy and his impact. I am sorry you lost a dear friend. 🫂
I was one of the lost children who wrote to Michael in prison. I had a job and a husband. Life was decent, but I felt a sense of emptiness. Now, at 41, I look back and wonder exactly what possessed me to fill that emptiness with letters from a significantly older man in prison for murder--especially a murder with such gory details. I did, though, and it worked for a time. I had a generic life with a single subversive secret that made me feel like maybe I wasn't such a basic bitch. Even now, I would like to think we had a relationship with a tiny bit of meaning.
When I went to visit him, he had (completely without my knowledge) convinced another lost child who tagged along to smuggle in drugs for him, and their plan did not go off without a hitch. Long story short, there was a moment in time when I was under investigation for smuggling narcotics into a federal facility. I could have done felony time in a New York prison. I was so, so scared. Nothing came of it, thankfully, but I stopped writing to him. Suddenly, the prospect of life as a basic bitch sounded much more appealing. I also realized that part of being friends with Michael was being friends with Michael's Drama, and it would always involve weird, complicated extenuating circumstances, often involving his own mother, and I wasn't willing to do it.
Still, I saw that essential spark inside of him that I hoped could be nurtured, and I followed his life after prison. I saw you doing your best to grow the spark, and I saw one publication and person after the next that seemed to have the same hope; that Michael would use the considerable connections he had with creative movers and shakers and redeem himself for another act. How many people who have taken part of a dismemberment in a drug fueled haze get that opportunity? He was coming back to society with a bigger advantage than 99% of other ex-cons. And I am just talking about job opportunities, nevermind the amount of people willing to welcome him to their home fresh out of prison.
I don't think anyone except bottomfeeders and naive kids in their late teens who watched Party Monster saw him with another wildly successful career in party promotion. We all knew that for him, not for all partiers but specifically for him, it was a pathway back to drugs and his worst self. Personally, I thought he had a lot of potential as a freelance writer and artist...a sort of pop culture commentator. I feel that frustration you were talking about in that I am sure he could have gotten an internship or admin job somewhere people like me dream of, and rather than accepting a 9-5 or some other equally humbling stop-gap between where he was at and a brighter future, he chased nostalgia and meth, and banked entirely on his story being interesting enough to provide him with a lifetime of income and attention. Had he played his cards better it could have lasted a few years but it seems like the call of drugs was just too strong. I wondered on the pew, when he spoke about "healing crystals" and innocently returning drugs to a dealer on behalf of a friend, was he doing a wink and a nudge type of thing, like we were in on a secret together, this cool secret of doing drugs in a puritanical society that frowns upon it, or did he really expect us to believe that he was a bystander who just wanted to help others learn from his mistakes? Sometimes I wondered if he knew himself, or if he wanted his life to be a choose your own adventure story where we could pick a party monster or a rehabilitated misanthrope depending on what we wanted. That way he could please everybody.
Anyway. I "enjoyed" your tribute, and I am sorry for your loss. Whatever our experience of Michael was, his life was heavy and we who shared any sort of bond with him bore that burden. I hope that he still "is" somewhere, and is at peace. Best wishes to you and your husband. It has been interesting to be on the outermost periphery of the club kids and I am grateful for the experience.
Tracie.... Your comment moved me. Thank you. You are an excellent writer who conveys beautiful emotions.
wow! that was amazing. a part of the story, indeed. yeah, the term 'histrionic personality disorder' came to mind when he passed & i kind of see that in the way you describe your (limited) exposure to alig--but i don't mean to denigrate, this death has made me sad, i just think it's 'interesting' . . .
How very beautifully written! I thank you for allowing those of us reading the comments to share in your story. I believe YOU have a future in writing (assuming that's not already your "thing"). Wordsmith....that's the word that comes to mind.
Thank you again. ❤
I don't know if you remember me from the club kid scene (I was the high school girl in various Wonder Woman costumes at the Limelight) but you were my idol when I was there and as an adult you are now someone that I truly respect and admire. RIP Michael and so much love to you Ernie xo
All the love to you during the difficult time, Ernie.
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. RIP Michael.
Thank you for this Ernie. I was hoping you would speak about his passing. As a former heroin user, being alone and the holidays are big times of relapse. Its sad to say but prison kept Michael alive. But out here, he could freely use again once he got off parole. Anyhow, you're right and he isn't suffering anymore. He's at that big rave, where its the 90s all the time. We love you Michael and you'll always be an icon n legend!!!
Please keep the channel so we can watch the old episodes!
I'm heartbroken. Thinking of you Ernie, xxxx
When I think of Michael, the saying “Creative Minds are Seldom Tidy” immediately comes to mind.
May his soul, now free from the chaos of his mind, find a purpose & most importantly, may Angel’s family finally find some sense of peace & closure here on Earth.
Michael’s mind was extremely creative but not chaotic. His art studio was never tidy but he created brilliant art there
Ernie. I spoke with you in a private fb message and i told you that you can rest easy. It is very well documented that you were a stabilizing factor in his life. I think anyone that watched you two together and knew your history with Michael knows you tried. Speaking as a recovering addict we are not the easiest people to love and some of us make it out and some of us dont. We all have decisions to make and some of us just arent wired to make that right and healthy decision to get and stay clean. But keep your chin up buddy you did everything under the sun that you knew to do. Im sending you big love and a lot of hugs and healing energy.
Well said.
I discovered you two some years back and was immediately captivated with everything about you two - from the back story, to the art and music, the darkness, and what I’d hope to have been the redemption. As with most artists it was obvious from a mile away that he was a troubled soul. Perhaps that’s why many of us gathered here, an understanding of what that’s like.
As a person in recovery from opiates myself it shatters my heart what drugs do to people. It literally leaves a shell of a human where a person with soul once was. It was evident to me (and likely everybody else viewing) he was on a descent for a good year before your guys’ final episode together. “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.”
After prison Michael had the ability and platform to make something so much more of his life. How beautiful it would have been and a statement it would have made to see him grow into a high paid artist who used his talents and voice to make a positive change in the world. I always hoped that when the universe did pull his number he would’ve left a legacy behind proving that it’s possible to redeem yourself even after the darkest of dark paths.
I, like many, was rooting for him from this side of the screen and always hoped he’d find his way back.
Good on you for being such a wonderful soul Ernie and standing by your friend during the worst and his best of times. It’s extremely rare to find that these days, Michael was very fortuitous to have you in his life.
RIP Angel and RIP Michael - I hope the bass from the music is making the pillars of heaven shake. Turn up the music just a little bit more...
Well said. I'm also a
In recovery from opiates and you expressed everything I felt about Michael so well. I think it was his self-discomfort and inner contradictions that also drew me in way beyond the character from Disco Bloodbath and into his real life and efforts to recreate life post prison. His crime was horrendous and unjustified, however, it's still not in the same category of 'evil' that planned murders are and as a recovering addict I understand the total panic he would have felt at the thought of being sick in withdrawal after realising Angel was dead. I think he also murdered in a panic and he'd so procrastinated dealing with the debt to Angel that in his mind he was fearing for his life. Just my perspective and, again, doesn't make any of it ok. There were other options. Anyways, I've gotten off topic but thanks for your words- I think many will resonate with them. Stay well.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Ernie. You've always been a wonderful friend and went above and beyond for Michael. My heart goes out to you.
R.I.P. Michael. Your laughter was infectious and you made a positive difference to many people's lives. Thanks for doing this, Ernie, you were a true friend to Michael.
My condolences Ernie, sorry for your loss. RIP Michael.
Ernie, your kindness, compassion, and friendship are an inspiration. I truly hope that you continue to have an online presence to share your humor and beautifully creative voice. I also hope that you and your family remain well and safe through this tough time. Here's to a happier 2021!
I'm saddened by the way it ended for him. I hope he has peace and him and Nelson are together. Thank you for making a video.
Stay strong Ernie! Losing a long time friend, no matter what the circumstances. Is very hard sometimes. I hope this isn't the last we see of you.
Rest in Peace Michael. It was nice that you put this up Ernie.
You're a beautiful person. We all wish we could have as fine a friend as you. Take care.
Nice comment. He sure is🌞
They broke the mold w/ them both.
I can imagine how last year's global shut-down had a detrimental effect on Michael-- someone who relied so heavily on night clubbing, socializing, validation, physical touch and contact, friends, tribe. With nowhere to go, and isolation as an only option, Michael undoubtedly spiraled into yet another lonely, dark hole, this one finally carrying him into the next dimension.
I was born on Christmas Eve. Capricorn's ruling planet is Saturn, which carries dark energy if left unbalanced in any person. Saturn is also 'Satan,' the goat, esoterically. There's no secret as to why these two days of the year are cause for most annual suicides and accidental deaths. I know deep inside exactly what Michael was experiencing. I go through this metaphorical death EVERY YEAR on my birthday. The energy never changes, it only must be experienced. Rest Michael Alig.
Well said! RIP Michael
I immediately thought of you when I saw the news. My heart goes out to you, losing someone so close to you on Christmas is so awful.
He had an intense life. I can't imagine doing 17 years in prison to ruin it a few years later by OD'ing on H. That era was everything to me. It was so incredibly inspiring with music, fashion,drugs,sex. It was everything anyone with an adventurous personality could want in debauchery. There are consequences unfortunately for those actions. Unfortunately for Michael his demons got the best of him. A sad end to a Golden Era in NYC. RIP and may his soul find a calm resting place. Really hard to see people like this go. It feels like a part of my youth left with him. Thanks for the video.
That was everything to Michael too. He had to come back out in the world, and try to readjust. Most people can’t.
@Ixa TV yes very well said.
Oh, Ernie, I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug. It is so hard to love (and lose) an addict. I hope you get tenfold the compassion that you give.
Ernie, thank you so much for posting this video. I feel profoundly sad in connection with Michael's death, although I ve never known him personally. A while ago, when I was an emotionally drained expat mother with two little children, living in almost total isolation, thousands miles from friends and with no fun in life, I've watched your channel extensively (along with Nelson Sullivan's videos from 80s, I m a fan of this era), sometimes for hours in a row, and it was my source of laughter, of consolation, of feeling that fun and freedom and friendship arent completely annihilated from the universe. You both reminded me of the people I had fun with when I was younger (the manners, the sense of humor).
Again, I ve never known Michael personally so that might be just my fantasy, but what I really liked about him was his ability to stay true to his own self, no matter what - at least he seemed to be that way when looking from strangers perspective. I guess that one of the things that raised so much anger in people was his (again, as seen through strangers eye) inability to _reform_ and change. But thats what I liked precisely. There is some beauty in inability, or unwillingness, to adapt and to compromise, even if it ends bad.
For me, your channel was not only a great source of fun and relaxation, but also an epitome of good friendship that stays there even when times are tough, one more proof (and there can never be enough of those) that people arent isolated in the end, that there are those real connection and care out there in the world. Im very grateful to you both for this experience. You were - and are - a fantastic friend. RIP Michael Alig
I was able to forgive Michael. I can forgive anyone because I know that without forgiveness people feel lost, empty, and the underlining condition resurfaces and takes over. I think that is what Michael was going through.
Thank you for posting this video and sharing your feelings on Michael's passing. I am still stunned on the way it all went down... I hope that Michael can finally rest in peace.
I had the same situation with a friend. I stopped contacting him and he ended up dead about a year later. I know how you feel.
It’s really brave and kind of you to share and open up. Thank you.
You’re just the best, most decent person ever, Ernie. Your goodness and caring is documented forever in these videos. I don’t have religion in my life, but I want to say bless you. 💛🙏🏻
Kaori Furue well put,I second this
Absolutely absolutely this. Well put.
My heart goes out to you, Ernie
Holy crap, I thought he was still clean. This sucks. Glad he talked to me a couple of times when he got out. RIP
Oh come off it! How could anyone believe he was clean? Their entire existence was about drug use. All his “art” , his show topics, everything they did was related to drugs in one way or another. The commercials even had pictures of drugs or paraphernalia.
I was with him in the can. He was never clean. He bought all the drugs he could in prison smh
He was busted smoking meth and spun out in a parking lot at 3:00 AM only a couple months after he was released from prison. I don't think he was ever truly clean tbh
I'm so sorry Ernie I feel like you were truly a good friend and you always stood by his side 💙 we love you RIP Michael
Thank you for everything you did for him and for sharing your story with all of us. You inspire me with your heart and intellect, and I still want to follow your journey.
Love you, Ernie. I couldn't have summed Michael's life up better. He was a good friend, but watching him decline was painful. I, too, hope Angel's loved ones find some semblance of solace in Michael's passing. I know it's important to not let Angel be forgotten.
I hope you're okay. Take care, dear.
REST WELL MICHAEL ALIG. 💙
this was really thoughtful, Ernie. a lot of solid points.
Its almost impossible to escape the prison of addiction I am glad he is now at peace
It’s not even close to impossible. Love, a recovering heroin addict.
Takes a strong person
I knew Michael was using again as soon as he started telling stories on The Peeew that featured some trouble he was in but it was never his fault. The story of his belongings comes to mind; I suspected when I saw that that he probably owed drug money and they took his stuff.
I'm saddened because I just discovered The Peeew and Michael and all of you this year. Had I known about you back in the day, I'm sure I would have been a Club Kid myself. I had truly hoped to see something good happen with Michael in the future.
Ernie, you did everything you could to help Michael, and as you said, he wasn't able -- he wasn't WILLING -- to help himself. I'm sorry for the loss of such a creative soul, but truly, he's been gone for a long time. Mostly, I'm sorry for your sorrow. My heart aches for you.
I never he was using back in 2018:(
It’s good that you documented him so extensively. Who he really was is always here for all the world to see. And he’s not a monster. Drugs bring out a twisted aspect in people and they did in him, clearly. One loses judgement w drugs.
I watched a ton of these pews now. They’re fun and entertaining. A lot of us addicts live in delusions of grandeur. I’d rather be boring, what a gift. The world is big, and the mundane is beautiful in my mind.
Very well said, Ernie. I'm sending my condolences and best energy to you and everyone who knew him, as well as Angel.
EDIT: Also, thank you for being candid. I think it's important to be honest during times like this instead of sweeping it under the rug. It helps bring the opioid epidemic to the forefront, where it needs to be.
I do not know alot about Michael. I go to wikipedia from time to time and look at the recent deaths to try to give attention, prayer and recognition to people who have died. I saw his name and found this CZcams page. I find so much comfort in your words. Understanding. Compassion. Kindness. He was lucky to have a friend like you. My brother is an addict and it is so hard to love someone with an addiction. Sometimes you have to love them from afar.. your words and realness gave me a sense of tranquility.. RIP Michael
That’s so unbelievably kind that you do that with the wiki. God bless you.
This makes me so sad. Truly the end of an era. Ernie.. you are a great friend.. the kind of friend we all hope to have just one of. You did more then enough and I am glad you can rest easy knowing you did what you could. Stay well!
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Sending love and prayers.
Please keep the Peeew going people love watching you Ernie. You are a star too
I've put off watching this for months. I'm glad I finally did. On a personal level, your balanced words serve as a eulogy for all the people lost to the excesses 80s and 90s, no matter when it finally caught up with them. The survivor's guilt is real some days, and I often wonder why they couldn't pull back in the exact same way Michael couldn't pull back. Thank you for giving genuine perspective on that whole situation, you are very wise, very emotionally intelligent.
You gave him unconditional love and acceptance. You may be the only friend who did and wanted nothing in return but the best for him.
This video is really touching. You were a good friend to him but boundaries are necessary. Regardless of what Michael did in his life we are all sinners and fall short. I wish I had a friend like yourself. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Michael's family during the time.
Ernie , You are such a Gracious Man ❤️ I’m sorry to hear of Michael’s passing , sadly ... comes as no surprise . Please stay well Ernie & keep us posted on your life’s updates .. You are Loved dearly my friend ! God Bless 🙏
Wow, I know he did some terrible, terrible things but this is still very sad. Addiction is so powerful. My condolences. I just lost my brother to a drug overdose on June 13. Heroin, fent, etc. I just try to always remember that my brother is no longer suffering. That’s the most comforting thing I’ve found that I can tell myself. Hugs to all
I'm sorry for your loss, Val.
You are a great friend and, in the end, you should have no regrets. All his actions were his and not yours.
Appreciating you're openness & honesty. Wishing you comfort. I'll be watching for whatever comes next for you. 😙💞
You're a class act, Ernie. You can't help people who can't or won't help themselves. RIP Michael Alig. RIP Angel Melendez.
My favorite part of the Pewee was listening to Michael giggle and seeing you roll your eyes. He was so fortunate to have you as a TRUE friend. It was so difficult to see what was happening. I pray he is dancing somewhere 💔😢
Ernie, you are a class act. You always have been and always will be. I have been subscribed since the beginning. I watched the videos where he was obviously on drugs. I could tell at times you were uncomfortable, but you were always supportive and non-judgmental. At times - when he said something that was an obvious lie - you gently and with grace -challenged him, but in a non-judgmental way. Your parents did a wonderful job raising you, Ernie. Your kindness, respect, grace and love are so apparent.
I had complex feelings about him because of all the things he has done to other people, not just Angel.. but other stuff that I've read by NUMEROUS people who were close to him.. xBut I always wanted to see him succeed and do better for himself -- without forgetting Angel's memory. It was a tightline for me as a stranger to balance.. for you - it must have been 100x as hard.
God bless you, Ernie. You are loved and admired. You took him in when most everyone else wouldn't have. You tried your hardest -- even at the expense of your own mental well-being. You are a genuine soul... and btw, I watched mostly for YOU, not Michael.
Ernie - I am so sorry. I am so grateful for your post. You have my love and respect.
He and I would instant message each other from time to time....I worried about him all the time...
The last time he and I talked...He thanked me.
RIP Michael....
This isn’t surprising, I’ve been in the same addiction hell and needles are the end stretch. If you are suffering look for help and agencies in your area that deal with such issues, you CAN get out of it. I’m fighting each day and it can be done.
You did everything you could for him. Everything. Take care.
Wow, you are amazing !! Thank you very much Ernie for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.
Sincere condolences.
Rest In Peace Michael
Ernie, thank you for this video. I can see how painful it was for you to film this, but we really appreciate it. I know this must be very sad since you’ve known him for such a long time. Sometimes people just become so consumed by their addiction that there’s nothing anybody can do. It sounds like you did what was best for him and for yourself as well. I hope you keep the episodes of The Pee-ew up. They’re such fun videos and good memories. I’m looking forward to any creative content you may make in the future. RIP Michael Alig and Angel Melendez
I love you, Ernie. I'm sorry you lost your friend 3 times. I'm sure he cherished y'alls good times.
That's so sad.
RIP Michael Alig.
A legend.
My condolences go out to you Ernie.
Keep your head up.
I am so, so sorry for your loss Ernie... as much as people say they weren't shocked by this, I was. I have loved and adored you guys and the clubkids movement for some time and was so sad hearing the news. I've talked to Michael here and there and he was nothing but nice to me always. Even though he did terrible things that I obviously don't agree with, it doesn't make this situation any less sad. I truly didn't believe it when I first heard, it's still weird. But again, I am so sorry for your loss. You and Michael's friends and family are in my thoughts and prayers. 💕💖
As a Recovering Addict of 25 years , this makes me sad. I loved watching the show and saw his decline. I was really hoping he could get it together. But I guess not. Rest In Peace Michael. I Was Always Rooting For You. Though I might not of known you personally.
Stay Strong Ernie. You were a true friend. Just know that.
Lots of Love💕
Oh my goodness! My heart just stopped when I read the title of this video. I struggle with addiction myself and know how hard it can be. Rest in peace Michael. I pray he is finally at peace. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of his friends and family. ❤❤❤
Prayers for everyone involved. Elke you’re in my thoughts 💕🙏
Ernie, Thank You so much for your heartfelt and honest words about Michael. As you know Michael and I have been friends sense high school. We had stayed in contact all these years. When he came back to Indiana I spent time with him and helped with sorting through things that he had saved in 2 storage units in South Bend. The past few years I would receive random calls in the middle of the night or early morning and we would talk about things that were happening in our lives, his art work, his latest romantic interests and his creative ideas about the next big thing. I am really going to miss those phone calls and my long time friend. Thank You soooo much for being so kind to him and doing all you could to try and help him. Lots of Love and Kindness.
I'm so sorry for your loss Ernie. I am finding this out for the first time, ( from this video ). It's very sad that Michael wasn't able to rise out of his dark past, even with the help of great friends like you, or any other resources available to him. From watching him since the beginning of this channel, I got the feeling that he wanted to do right after serving his sentence, but it must have just not been possible for him in his own mind.
R.I.P Michael. You were a very interesting and enjoyable human. In death I hope that you have found peace. Thank you for sharing this statement, Ernie. Sending all my love.
Michael wasn't the only star--he might have been the draw, but we learned to love you over the course of this channel!! I agree that Michael is now free from pain and in peace. Sending light and healing thoughts to all who knew and loved him, but especially to you Ernie
I love you, Ernie. You were as good of a friend to him as he would allow you to be. His addiction was stronger than anyone's love..
I'm sorry for the passing of Michael, but as you said, he is finally free from the torment and his demons.
Please continue to keep us up to date on you. You're a beautiful and kind human being. Anyone who is friends with you, is blessed. And Michael was blessed by you .
I’m sorry to hear the news. Thank you for taking the time to share some words.
I cried Christmas morning for Michael. I am so sorry Ernie. Xo
I've been wondering what your thoughts and feelings are on this. Thanks for posting Ernie!
Thank you so much for sharing this message with us. Ernie, you did everything a good friend would have done. I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost a friend that I had distanced from to a heroin overdose on Christmas Eve/Christmas day in 96'. Been there with other friends too and had to distance myself. It is a matter of self preservation on our part like you said. Anyway, thank you again for sharing this with us. ❤️
Honey!! Omg you so jerked my rusty ole heartstrings with this video!!! I've kind of followed the Micheal Alig saga since reading Disco Bloodbath by James St. James- one of the funniest, most honest, poignant books I've ever read, and i read A LOT...anyway as a heroin addict myself(recovering) i just want to tell you that you're an amazing, wonderful, true-blue friend that anyone would be proud to call their friend...what you said how everyone, no matter what they've done, needs someone to love them no matter what, and how you didn't give up on Micheal but had to love him from the phone...i just completely love and relate so much to everything you said. Addicts will suck the life out of you if you let them; it's what we do, and unfortunately addiction is just bigger than some people. I buried my very best friend 5 years ago behind this disease, among countless others...it hurts every time. But you soldier on, and do what you can to make someone else's suffering a little better, and thank god you"re still around to do it. At least that's my get down these days. Anyway, big hugs & lots of luvs to you , sir. You are a prince among men.🧡
sending nothing but love and energy to you Ernie - this was tough on me, cane begin to imagine how it must me on you.
There was nothing you could do-its up to the alcoholic or addict to take the steps to get sober. If they can. Wishing you serenity.
Amen Kathleen!
Thanks for sharing this Ernie. So sorry for the loss of Michael. He truly was a magical person...with a terrible problem. May he rest in peace...love and condolences to you and the entire Club Kid family ❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏
My heart hurts for you today as I watch your final message on this channel. Your heartache radiates with torment of what ifs and that is completely natural. I also used recreationally back in the day but I didn't allow it to consume me. Unfortunately that's not the case for my younger brother. He too is gripped by the balls of addiction. I understand the back and forth emotions you are dealing with. Although my brother is still here, he is just a shell of his former self. In helping him I become so Obsessed with saving him that it effected my own family and children because I was emotionally involved deeply. Rushing out in the middle of the night to drive 45 minutes away because my little brother overdosed. Or got arrested etc. Every time I was there.. I have done everything in my power to save him yet he remains addicted and deteriorating. I literally can't do anything. I have tried everything.. Please listen to my words and know Michael knows you love him and he knows how much this effects you all. You know that wasn't his intention and I am sure he blames no one but himself. You are a great friend to him. I don't speak in past tense because I feel his energy is all around us, just as everyone who's passed on. Honor Michael by remembering love, remember the great moments you all had together and remember your friendship. You gave and did all you could. I know he understands that and blames no one but himself. Live your life in honor of him as you done here. You need not to explain yourself to anyone hun. You don't need to stress to anyone how you tried as if all responsibility is on your shoulders. I do this too.. But, I realize we aren't their entire lives. He has so many friends that love him as well. It's no one's fault but his own and I say this with deep respect and love for him and everyone. Addiction is a horrible thing to deal with. Those that love him has given him a piece of their heart and when he passed he took it with him. There are many hearts that died with him and being such a long time friend as you were to him, I can only imagine the deep pain you are facing now. I send you love and a piece of my heart in order to help you through this very difficult time... Remember that you are a great friend. I know it would be such an honor to me if I had someone honor me this way in the event of my passing. I do not feel I have such friends unfortunately. But Michael does. And that's beautiful. Your love for him is beautiful. I hope you and everyone that loves Michael finds peace in their hearts and I radiate strength and love to each of you. Thank you for this beautiful raw message. It has brought tears to my eyes and I don't know anyone personally. But, all of your stories, memories and time intrigues me. From Neslon Sullivan's evolutionary visionary delight he shared it gives us all a chance to feel as if we were apart of the times with you all. So it hits us outsiders a bit harsher than it would any other famous moment in time. We got to experience the energy through the lens of the camera as if we we were all right there with you. I am thankful for that. Please... Please do not blame yourself or let the what ifs remain on your heart weighing it down. We each have our story to live and if we lucky enough, we have the amazing friends that keep our memories alive and honor us through their words. I wish I could give you a hug or somehow help ease your pain. My deepest condolences go out to you and everyone who loved him...