Autism & Alcohol (Or How I Had A Social Life As An Autistic Adult)
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- Hello! Join me for a chat where I discuss my experience of drinking alcohol, and what I've discovered so far as a late diagnosed Autistic.
I've now made a follow up video where I go through community comments at • Autism & Alcohol - YOU... (thank you to all those who submitted comments 🧡)
Support organisations:
AA Worldwide www.aa.org/
AA Great Britain www.alcoholics...
Al-Anon Family and Groups UK and Eire (who support family members) al-anonuk.org.uk/
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Other videos I've made that you might find useful:
I Was Diagnosed as Autistic at Nearly 50
• I Was Diagnosed as Aut...
Autistic and Perimenopausal - My Experience
• Autistic & Perimenopau...
10 Reasons Why I Thought I Was Autistic
• 10 Reasons Why I Thoug...
#actuallyautistic #autism #autismawareness
00:00 🍺 Alcohol and Autism: Autistic individuals have a higher risk of substance abuse, including alcohol, often using it as a coping mechanism.
03:37 🎶 Social Challenges: Difficulty finding friends with similar interests led to using alcohol to fit in socially, despite not enjoying its effects.
06:32 🚭 Lifestyle Impact: Due to health conditions like MCAS and gallbladder issues, the speaker had to stop drinking alcohol entirely.
09:04 🌟 Community Engagement: Encourages viewers to share their experiences with alcohol and autism in the comments for future discussion.
12:54 🛡 Online Safety: Reminds viewers to maintain privacy and safety when sharing personal experiences on public platforms like CZcams.
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After a life long of drinking, I quit shortly before my daughter was diagnosed with ASD. Having gone sober and delving into research of ASD, I realized I had spent my life numbing to escape my own autism. As of now, I am self diagnosed but wholeheartedly know I am. These last couple of years (I’m fifty), have been spent learning who I really am, and in many ways, I feel like I am going through puberty with my daughter 🤪. I’ve thought about starting my own channel to share my experience because I believe there are MANY more women like us. I appreciate you being here ❤
Congrats on finding your truth 🧡
Hi Lizzie, Sharing much of my family story is not appealing to me right now, but both alcoholism and chain smoking ran in my family. As the youngest I was fortunate enough to avoid either. I think this was partly due to being better educated on the issues and partly due to luck. I started out with social drinking, as many do, and found that alcohol just put me to sleep, hardly helpful for socializing. I never considered smoking because I was so well aware of the financial cost to our family. It was later that I found out about the health costs. I just want to thank you for bringing up these issues because, so far, you are the only autism channel I have found that has talked about them. Nancy
Thank you for sharing, Nancy 🧡
Such an important topic, thank you for sharing your story. ❤I can see myself in so many memories you’ve shared. We were out and about at similar times (nineties, early 2000s) and I was a heavy drinker, too. And I know „the fear“ all too well. I stopped drinking regularly two years ago and since I take ADHD meds, my cravings for alcohol are gone. 😮I do drink a glass of wine like three times a year. But that’s about it.
Aww, I'm glad it resonated with you 🧡
🔥It was well hot in the studio when I filmed this so I've probably not included as much as I could have, so I'll maybe do a follow up at some point
still very mild down here in Devon, nowhere near as hot
Thankfully it's back to below 20 degrees today! 👍
@@CreativeAutistic We're only about 16 today, not had anything near summer yet
With my mom and her siblings all 6 kids had addiction issues, 5 with alcohol. 2 died very young. Only my Aunt beat it. My 82 yr old mom stopped 8 years ago when she had a stroke. The only positive in terms of her mobility loss was her husband and her could not obtain alcohol easily. They did have their happiest 5 yrs together before he passed away.
I realized alcohol provided 8-12 hours of pleasure and then hangover followed by below optimum mood and ability to function effectively, for about 3 days. At a time I got very depressed and realized my sole reason for alcohol was escaping depression. I did see a therapist who suggested a Psychiatrist who prescribed me with anti-depressants. Even small amounts of alcohol seemed to disrupt the effectiveness of meds. So I stopped. This was over 30 years ago and although I have accumulated a list of diagnosies I have completed a fairly successful career of 34 years and have a wonderful wife of 28 years and 2 grown kids. I was diagnosed with ADHD 2.5 yrs ago and about 8 months ago I was sure that I was autistic. I don't plan to get medical diag only because I am retired and in a reasonably priviledged place. It is so obvious to me both with my family's struggles and my own near miss, that Autism raises the risk of addiction hugely. Even for those of us who do not easily give into peer pressure. As a teen when people wanted me to smoke I wondered who the hell would put something so disgusting in ones mouth. And smokers smelled awful. Cigarette smoke definitely huge sensory issue and until smoking laws everywhere was hell. I also resisted greatly with alcohol. Its taste was unappealing although nothing like the unbearable noxiousness of smoking. So logically it always seemed like a stupid idea but it lays in wait to trap one every opportunity it gets. I imagine smoking is similar. The smell/ taste is never the attraction. Its the brief mental "massage". Absolutely agree about REM. Still drive my wife mad with it especially as I re-examine their infinite wisdom and talent since autism understanding. REM is not as easy to love but its beauty exists on a slightly different plane that I think ultra sensitive souls relate to this better than most. Very tongue in cheek I think they masked to produce 2 hugely successful commercial albums ( which I love) but stayed unmasked for most of career.
I suppose hot is relative to what level you are acclimated. My area in the U.S. has been experiencing temperatures between 32C and 37C for weeks now. I would love to have the mid-20s that you have in the U.K. And below 20C would be perfect. How’d I do with my weather-based small talk?
I couldn't stop smoking till I finally lived alone. It was much easier to quit when I didn't have to use a cigarette as a way to get away from the other household members as needed. Because now the only other living being here is my cat!
I'll bet! Thank you for sharing 🧡
Awww cats are special. So many of us seem to have a cat (or two). I wonder if their traits like independance help us relate to them? You can't make a cat do something it doesn't want to do either - that's very pda! 😅
@@cupofteawithpoetryto I have a cat and cats are one of my special interests!
@Catlily5 Amazing! What a fab special interest! I love your Catlily name too! I have one cat and we have such a close bond 🐈⬛🐈
@@cupofteawithpoetry Thanks! What is your cat's name? My current cat is Shadow. I didn't name him but he's grey so it fits.
This what I think with alcohol and social settings. It's that when other are impaired by alcohol I can be my weird autistic self with as they will just pass it off as you being drunk. My drinking reduced my inhibitions in showing my autistic traits. The next day hang overs also allowed me to hide my autism the next day too. It allowed me to unmask as alcohol impaired autistic person. I don't get drink much have huge amount of alcohol as I don't drink it that much. But beer, I love sampling craft beer. I don't get drunk though.
Some great points here, thanks for sharing.
I really like your idea of "Autism and XYZ" videos. Although I love free format too, I have trouble following through with thoughts about the subjects. Having one poignant item to deep dive into is great - and this one is a doozy. Most memories from my teens through 30s were beer colored. I did accomplish so much, yet regretted so much, and spent a lot of time on the toilet with fire-rrhea. I too could never have an empty glass. At the end of the day, this behavior didn't change me for the better, didn't make life any easier. Especially for autistic people who may be genetically predisposed to addiction, this is something to watch out for. Thank you for bringing it up again 🙏
Cheers, Heidi! I think it's easier and lessens the chance of me going on about the same stuff over and over - plus I think it helps the community to feel a bit more involved (and I love fire-rrhea 😆)
@@CreativeAutistic Even without alcohol now, fire-rrhea has been my norm. When anxiety hits me hard, the fire is even hotter 😭. Sorry to be graphic but maybe this can open up a new topic (tummy troubles). It's been daily for the past six weeks and I just can't go far from home. Yes, there are public toilets, but they terrify me . 🙁
Ah, a great suggestion. I've had various issues with my digestive system so will add to the list! 🧡
I just turned 60, was diagnosed last year with ADHD, and i identity as Autistic. Ive had all the experiences you speak of and im finally off alcohol and cigarettes for good. But im EXTREMELY introverted now, and my generalized anxiety disorder is back, but its way better than being drunk. 😊
Thank you for sharing 🧡
The alcohol brought me out of selective mutism in social around age 17-18. I used it to cope socially going out yet it felt dangerous. So I married someone just to have a safe zone and didn’t drink. Then at some point I realized I could manage social better at work without it once in an accepting work environment. Then drank socially with this group and came into my own the first time ever (age 25-35).
Then I stopped drinking once I was pregnant. Woah. Back to social awkward and social anxiety but instead of being mute I talked incessantly due to anxiety. It felt bad and still does.
I developed MCAS as well and it helped with my reactions until I tilted my system more trying to use it to mask my symptoms.
I found it to be the great regulator but also the great truth serum if too much which had some consequences.
Don’t drink anymore. Miss it. But just can’t. Many in the MCAS arena have indicated they feel a reduction in symptoms at the time of drinking g but they hit hard once it wears off.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing, and the selective mutism in social settings (before I started drinking) resonates for sure! 🧡
My dad used to go on booze runs to france and fill a van up with it and store it in the garage, so i would take some in the morning on the way to school, thats how i started. Then i used alcohol for confidence as you know the 90's and early 2000's britain was a hedonistic time for a lot of people, so to cope with the nightlife and sensory issues i would drink to excess and pop pills smoke weed, take speed. And also drink a lot of whiskey at home to try and blank out work pressures. I got to the point where i would hardly get hangovers anymore and when i woke up i would be thinking about when i could get my first drink. I had an alcohol support worker for a while, and then i just wanted to live a healthier life no drugs no smoking stinking weed or ciggarettes and cutting the booze right down, and eating healthy foods everyday. I enjoy an ale/ beer or glass of wine with food or if im watching or listening to music but these days it is strictly in moderation, ive done the wild days and moved on to spinach and yoga😂🙋♂️
Thanks for sharing, James 🧡
It's true. Would not have much of a social life without it. I live in Colombia and don't master Spanish so don't bother with giving me links to any support orgs. Alcohol makes me feel the closest to normal. I don't really get hangovers anymore. Guss my generally good fluid, salt and fat intake are good enough. But I do get the jitters if I had drinks many days in a row and just try to quit or can't afford more. Like a slight delirium accompanied by the most vivid dreams. And since I'm also a Lucid Dreamer I've kinda learned how to enjoy delirious dreams by controlling them.
Thank you for sharing.
Years ago, I tried to drink alcohol a few times (just to try), but it didn't have any effect on me. Besides some physical distress, I was one hundred percent lucid and vigilant. Anyway, I will never drink alcohol anymore.
Thank you for sharing 🧡
Glad that it didn't affect you - wish I could say the same. Addiction is an issue for many, but not all, of us.
@@smicketysmoo Thank you.
I didn't drink because I had no friends to get me into it. Then I was in the teen treatment center and a 15 year old girl said that she got drunk, blacked out and woke up in bed with an old man. That scared me away from drinking. I also hate throwing up.
Unfortunately I did get involved with SH. I started in 1989. It was much worse as a teenager but I last harmed myself in 2021.
I'm sorry to hear this - thank you for sharing 🧡
I am not autistic at all, i can talk with any people if i want too with any topic, asking them questions etc. I don’t avoid eye contact, i don’t smoke, no drinking, i don’t put my things in alphabetical order or whatever or talk on 1 topics. I am pretty much introverted person. Talking is taking my energy away. I do lack social skills in real life because of my introvert nature isolating myself from people but i am definitely not autistic at all. The reason why i isolate myself is that people work on my nerves these days 🤷♂️Thank you for insightful explanation ma’am. You sound high-functioning one. Good luck with the channel.
Thanks for sharing - this really evidences some of the differences between introverted and autistic people.
I am a Late identified autistic I worked in comercial kitchens living in Australia . i was almost literally drunk for almost a decade . although my first drink wasnt till 18 . Your description of drinking yourself closely resembles mine . Alcohol always turned all the sensory stuff way down for me also . I stopped at the age of 36 both cigarettes and alcohol both . It was not a conscious decision I too miss alcohol.
Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you were able to quit. 🧡
TY for sharing. Have struggled with much the same, especially the alexithymia/alcohol connection. But still on shorts not beer (and smoking cigs and weed). Smoking to regulate whilst working too, a great excuse to get some moments to oneself and reset. Not healthy ofc, but the only way us later discovered have got to this point in our lives. The common undiagnosed autistic expectation that we will not survive to mid (let alone later) age lets us not care so much about the deleterious effects until they become obvious/pressing and is one I still struggle with.
Thank you for sharing and, my god, this really resonates with me 🧡
Well done on sharing your experiences. 'The Fear' is very real!
Thank you 🧡
As a student in my late teens/early twenties I drank often and a lot. It definitely made social situations more tolerable but also made it absolutely impossible to contain my honesty - which burned a few relationships. Although a fairly small person, I seemed to have quite a capacity for booze. I think it is quite common for autistic people to have either unusual tolerance, or extreme sensitivity, to drugs in general. Hangovers really started to catch up with me in my later twenties and, combined with ongoing tight finances, put an end to regular drinking. Now, because of medication, I really shouldn't drink at all, and I don't miss it. (Maybe just as well.) I smoked between about 18 and 20. I really appreciated what that did for anxiety but stopped cold turkey after quite a bad chest infection. I don't plan to start again but very much miss the effect on my mental state. Totally agree with what you said about the stimmy aspects of both smoking and drinking - a very acute observation. Nowadays, hot drinks are a constant, throughout the day, and always in a giant mug. 🍵
Edited to add this thought. I also think I used alcohol and cigarettes to help construct and support my masking persona. Brands and types of booze have strong cultural associations with different stereotypical characters - think G and T drinker versus real ale enthusiast versus the person who chooses the alcopop. At the time I'm referencing, many more people smoked and we had been conditioned to make similar associations with cigarette brands. By letting me develop from 'the girl with the really long hair' into 'the girl with really long hair who drinks pints and smokes Regal King Size', drink and ciggies allowed me a more developed mask. They also provided more for neurotypicals to latch onto with their small talk - so they smoothed socialisation, even aside from their drug-related effects.
Some really interesting thoughts here, thank you for sharing 🧡
This was a really interesting watch. 😊 Very few of my autistic friends drink. I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life. I wonder if it's a generational thing?
This is so interesting - though I think younger folks in general drink way less these days for a number of reasons - modern culture, higher costs and better awareness around mental/health implications, as well as the rise of social media. 🧡
Hi Lizzie,
I noticed the same with alcohol and socializing but as both my parents had issues with alcohol I havd always been very careful with it and I have absolutely no addiction to it. But I used to smoke a lot and had to stop because I have serious emphysema (and I'm only 47). Boy do I miss the cigarette and all it gave me, just as you describe it. I feel like I have lost a powerful management tool and my autism is more "raw" now that I have stopped 2 years ago. I am looking foulard to what more you could say about smoking. Thanks a lot for sharing.
Thank you. I'm so glad you were able to give up smoking 🧡
@@CreativeAutistic thank you ! I was actually very surprised to be able to. (Chain)smoking was like a part of me, I just could not foresee myself without a cigarette in my life. I actually tricked myself to do it. I found a friand whom I admired and knew he wanted me to quit smoking because he had already lost someone to it. We made a deal. Next time we would call each other (he is one of the few people who may call me) I would have stopped. I was so motivated and proud that I made it happen. I didn't know I still had it in me. But if I didn't have a serious illness I would still smoke today. Just saying in case it can help :)
I feel as if this might have been me if I hadn't been prevented by my severe emetophobia. Struggled with other stuff though, SH and ED stuff as coping mechanisms.
Thank you for sharing 🧡
Thanks for another fab video Lizzie 😊🙏
Aww, you're welcome. Glad you enjoyed it! 🧡
Wow. Thank you so much for your thoughts and experience on this sensitive topic.
Glad it was helpful! 🧡
Early diagnosed with AS and now ASD, 30 years ago now. Alcohol was definitely a form of self-medicating my anxiety/ocd, but couldn't maintain it being on medication (started to actually have balance issues even when sober, because of the alcohol combined with medication. So weird). Definitely susceptible to alcoholism and need to be careful because it does "take the edge" off a little too well. lol
Yep, I would definitely still be drinking if my body allowed me to!
Great video! "The fear"... Yes!
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Hi. Somehow I've never been much of a drinker. I seemed to have some kind of built in limit, I'd usually get to three/four pints and just couldn't consume anymore. But when I think about when and why I was drinking it was social events, it was mainly because it was socially expected. But I'd still end up on the outside of the group/event, so alcohol never really got me to a place where it was easier to fit in. So I would show up, drink a little make an excuse, and go home. You touched on how clubs and pubs can be. That could be an issue as I couldn't hear the music or what other people were saying, it could be really overwhelming. It you struggle to be typically social, then that cannot help. I haven't been drinking for a while and it's not a good idea with the medication I'm on. There is something I miss about drink I think, but I'm not sure what.
Thank you for sharing 🧡
I recognise this all to well. Now I am getting old and my body can no longer tolerate all that alcohol, but it’s difficult to quit when people only like you when you are drunk. When I’m sober I’m too dull and serious and I can’t stand small talk. So I switch between being a loner and a boozer. It’s quite pathetic when you think about it
Thank you for sharing (and fwiw, I don't think it's pathetic - it's just a coping mechanism in a world not designed for people like ourselves)
@@CreativeAutistic thanks
Your videos look so cool! This is pro level production. Thank you!
This comment has really made my morning - thank you so much! 🧡
Being at the moment self diagnosed autism, I haven't had alcohol issues but I love a drink when socialising with family and Christmas. Thanks for the video.
Thanks for sharing, Suzanne 🧡
Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life
I'm very pleased to hear that 🧡
I think that I might have ASD. I can't afford to go to the doctor, idk even know what my deductible is but at least 2 grand. Is it important to know if you have ASD or is it just fine to not know? I'm 38 with no good career, depressed for most of my life, bad with people, yadayada, could a diagnosis be helpful in some way? I've always been a hypochondriac, but completely identify with people on YT with ASD explaining their experiences.
Many people are in a similar position due to assessment costs and lack of accessibility, hence why self-diagnosis is valid.
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