I Was Hopeless With Women Until I Did This
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2021
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The reality of the lower 95%: Survey taker: "When is the last time you were alone with a woman?" Me: "You mean like at the dentist?"
LOL that one hurt!
I was with two female dentists 😎
@@javierm.n5455 #ChadToothington
It's not about the lower 95%, it's about the internet generation of men. Somehow we all got conceived and born and most of us are not children of the top 5% of men. But for the future generations, I'm not sure, we now have in vitro to save us form extinction.
@@javierm.n5455 Based Chad.
Do I look fat in this dress? No hon your dress doesn't make you look fat, your weight does.
Lmao
"I want a divorce! My husband is too honest"
How is this comment from 8h ago when the video is from 7h...?
:nodchamp:
Lmao yeah
A bit off topic, but I recall once I was out with two friends (both girls) and one asked if her make-up was ok, the other girl lied, I said she looked like a panda (and yes... She did) she was stunned by my answer and both of em proceeded explaining why I shouldn't have said that and she literally said "when a girl ask you something like this, you MUST lie". I still don't see the point of asking a question when you don't want to hear the answer... Oh, BTW I'm single
That's just a different social situation, you were there with her friend, so you should be more careful. You could make that a bit more subtle and subjective by saying "I don't like it, I'd prefer blah blah blah" and it would be perfectly fine. Then you are just expressing your opinion and guide her. What they said to you is just moronic (don't waste your time on dumb people), either you do it subtle way or you just remain silent, when you lie, you just don't care about nor respect them, when you say "you look like panda" you're just cruel and someone might say you want to boost your confidence on someone's else behalf, so never do that (you shouldn't need that kind of boost anyway).
If you really want to push it as a joke then I think it might still go, but you need to sell it better and don't get patronized about what you should or shouldn't do.
🐼 😂😂
Probably I didn't express correctly (I get your point though) thing is, she was asking if her make-up was ok, meaning "are there any smudges around my eyes?" and not like "do you like my style?" but yeah, I mean if that was her choice of make up it would have been REALLY bad to go for that depiction while talking seriously (forgive my poor Mediterranean English)
I'm with you. It's a man's nature just to be honest & not to pussyfoot around like girls do...let the girls worry about their acceptable 'girls code' type responses....it's not our world, not our rules
You can split the difference an neither lie nor be totally honest.
When.asked such things I normally say "I not the best person to ask these things".
If they press you for an honest take, you can say: it's not to my taste, but I like the plain look".
Easy safe stuff.
"It would have been more interesting if you lied" - One of the weirdest things a honest man can hear.
His example is just harmless fun though, so don’t get it twisted lol. Big difference between what he said, or for example teasing her saying she’s got spaghetti down here chin when you’re on a date with her, versus say, yeah I work for so and so or yeah I got loads of money or what ever other bad lie
@Mark Carwyn Honestly, telling the truth (as I understand it) has caused MUCH more problems for me with women than anything else.
Men care about the truth of things in general, independently, objectively. Women care about the truth of whatever makes them feel safe, validates their self-worth/desirability, etc. It is a mistake to talk to a woman in a way that prioritizes objective truth over her sense of well-being, self-validation, or self-interest
It's easy to pick up girls. Lie like mad and say the most ridiculously random things. Girls think lying is sexy. Especially, say, something that they've never heard before. If she asks for more? Tell her it's postmodernism. If she asks more? Tell her to look it up. She'll be putty in your hands. Just think everything is true!
@@meenki347 Telling a lie is never good for your mind. Exept if you are making a joke/tease out of it but even then it should be well understood by both sides. No drama.
@@simosavustaja9420 You're quite right about obvious lies. They're definitely funny. Honestly, I have only one rule about lying that I never break and as a result I haven't had a headache in 25 years. I don't lie to the people that I say I love. Otherwise, it's war. And I don't care.
I really appreciate it when you said women think they are entitled to the top 20% of men and you followed it up with video after video telling us it is better to let men know the harsh reality of the dating market, especially for the ones outside the top 20%, unlike our society that leads those men on with false hope. Thank you for the unfiltered truth. You changed my life for the better.
Top 20%? It's more like top 3%.
I think he is talking about high quality women, otherwise way more than 20% of men are reproducing globally 😂
@@arians3713 That data I am referencing is from a U.S dating app. For most of us here, only the data on western nations are relevant to us.
Yes, I am aware that most of the population boom came from the developing nations in the past few decades.
I feel like the profile pic is a red mtg card i saw on amazon lol
@@h.l.malazan5782 if you're referring to dating app data, then you're very out of date with 20% - modern data is showing it's actually the top 5%
First you memorise cheesy lines. Then you strategise a whole relationship like generals in war rooms.
Stupendous comment. That was great. Thanks for the chuckle
@@freckleheckler6311 I too blew air out the nose quite emphatically
A Marshall plan for a relationship.😁
@2 Nep8id6 people who think war is glorious have never actually taken part in one
... even the victor suffers huge trauma
"Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at Black Masses!" ~Black Sabbath
There's a group of men that have learnt this already and have their lines down pat, fully rehearsed to get women. They're called Musicians.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but we’re no different from the rest of you. I’m about as outgoing as Chopin and the girls be like, “Ooo, classical music is boooooring 🙄”
If you can sing.... BUT then the question is, how do I show her?
I also play guitar and I'd was a short pretty boy. Good looking face, really, but only 5'9".
Short men... we have to at least work out, I've always kept muscles, I'm 41 now.
This kid is smart, I wish I knew what he knows. The pick up lines, that wasn't bad and I wouldn't have thought of it... I now just go talk to women, FTW, there's no reason to be shy. I read the situation. It's been a while since I was on the hunt though.... HAHA yup, the thrill of the hunt, we really are animals!
@@Tempusverum If she says that she aint worth the time
Wow, what a bunch of Simps commenting on here, he’s only suggesting that you have some rehearsed lines, so when you’re nervous you have something to say. It builds your confidence and teaches you how to be less socially inept. It works in all situations. If you’re waiting for the woman of your dreams to walk up to you, it’s time to get a cat cause you’re going to be lonely for along time. Life is a game, the earlier you realize it, the better off you’ll be.
This is the internet, what you expect? 🤣
Honestly it becomes more about rehearsing a formula, than a line. But lines are great way to start and will help you develop that formula.
It's also better if you just naturally can say something.
... but even if you have nothing to say, you should also be comfortable with that. Noone has to be a talking machine. None *should* have the feel like they always 'have to' say something.
On the other hand, you should be able to be comfortable with silence, if nothing else came to mind to say, because... well... 'c'est la vie' and that's okay.
Also, since women talk more than men, she'll probably say something (helping you out this way) anyway, and then you might get an idea...
Whatever. Just get guys away from having an urge to say something when they actually have nothing to say. It's more natural and genuine.
gender roles can "𝖘🖕𝖈𝖐 𝖎𝖙"
Ok, Parrot.
The thing about rehearsed lines is that you can own it and play with it and make it seems like natural to you.
But the problem is you're still being fake. It shows something about you as a person that your first recourse is to use deception and to assume a fake personality.
Just because they value lying to each other doesn't mean they can all see through the bullshit
@@lamalien2276 bud that is how humans learn.
When you. Experience new situations. And are successful you have thought about it prior.. You just don't realize you do.
If you are very cognitive you plan ahead and Od thts
Just like job interviews.
@@thenarrator1984 I hope you're not insinuating that's the only way humans learn because I call bullshit if so
Memorization and repetition is one common method for learning, but it's not the only method nor even most effective.
It's fake in job interviews too. It works... you can get jobs or girls by lying through life, and people are rewarded for that behavior all the time. It doesn't mean it's not fake, though, and those with integrity will take alternate paths. Not because it produces the most fruitful results but because that's how we can still feel satisfied living with ourselves at the end of the day.
@@lamalien2276 The other downside is, you set a frame of expectation that you'll always "be on". And when you aren't, she loses interest QUICK.
Women prefers honest men.
Translation please tell me and validate what I want to hear rather what you actually have to say on that matter.
They want to believe you're honest when you're lying to them. If they know you're lying it ruins the magic.
ye kya chutiyapa hai ?
@@ManBearPiglet spot on!
You’ve mentioned the halo effect in the past. If the man is tall, attractive and well dressed then it almost doesn’t matter what he says. This advice for having rehearsed lines only applies to the men fighting for the leftovers.
Why wouldn't a tall attractive man want to know this as well?
Oh it matters what he says and does. Women are very, very picky, and being physically attractive only gets your foot in the door. You get booted to the curb pretty fast if you've got no mouth game..
James Robert...you understand everything!
Bro, I've been hit up up to dozen times a night during my time out with friends, but since my social skills is below zero, nothing ever happened. I literally failed hundreds of times, because I simply despise lying, but my looks, according to others is above average and that does not helps.
@Pattern of Randomness Ya don't have to lie about anything, my dude. Ya just gotta omit the less sexy details about yourself, and flex your spicy traits. You're basically handing in your CV and noone ever puts stuff that makes them look bad on the CV.
When you equip yourself with many tools, the chances of using the right tool for the job increases. It's better to be prepared than it is to use the wrong tool for the job. Memory is meant to keep us from making the same mistake over again.
I just tell women that I think they're pretty, but I'm not into trans girls. It's hilarious to watch them react.
I have to try this one 😂😂😂
It should be a general rule if they freak out after you say you're not into trans girls that's a girl you shouldn't waste your time with
That's a good example of a line that doesn't have to involve lying, presuming one wouldn't be approaching unattractive women.
It's great that yall don't want to lie, but with some creativity there are workarounds.
@@e.l.2734 it's called negging
Compliment or bigotry? Error - does not compute 🤖
Never tell a woman what she wants to hear. What she does want to hear makes absolutly never sense in a mans perspective. Safe yourself some headache guys, cuz that is what you get when you do the things she (thinks) she want.
No. Playing games / using 'practiced' lines is simply not worth the effort.
Unless you're actually very good at deception the average woman will see right through it. These techniques also assume that the woman will 'follow' the script which is ridiculous and completely subjective.
If 'you' are awkward in social situations then work on that - work on yourself as a man to become a better version of yourself.
These PUA techniques are usually 'taught' for cold situations in bars / clubs.
Change the environment: do what you enjoy (hobbies, sport, outdoor activities, public events, etc.) and take the pressure off yourself. Meeting a woman in this type of situation is less awkward because you have a shared interest and its much easier to communicate.
@@davewrightthethinker ^ this
But age also plays a difference, J.P. Kelly seems like an older dude giving advice to older man if that's the case than yeah but for younger people, men in 20s pick up line are fine, you can still be natural even with a pick up lines, I look at it as an ice breaker..to get an emotional response from her once you get that you did 50% of your job and it will be much easier to go from there.
Noted 👍
I'm social awkward and my friends keep telling me again and again, now i want to improve myself
Im never good at pick up lines and I never lie to woman... Please guys give me some advice it would be helpful 😔
Very helpful
I'm just scared of being rejected again
@P dot ❤️❤️ thanks
@P dot maybe I need to improve myself more thanks a lot
Once you realize life isn't fair, you will not feel bad about this.
Exactly
Women wear wigs, false eyelashes, push-up and padded bras, makeup, etc. etc. So I don't think men should feel guilty in the least for having pre- rehearsed lines.
Guys, there are comments from about 15 minutes ago when the vid was literally posted right at that time.Atleast listen to what Alexander has to say...
Their comments don’t even match what was mentioned in the video. They were responding to the title of the video only, which is not even related to the content.
Game is a performance art, it's understanding seductive dynamics and creating a playful, seductive experience for a woman. It's a momentary escape from the stifled, dull, duty-bound world of adults into an alternate reality where fun and pleasure are what matters most. Alex opened up that video store clerk beautifully, but didn't yet know how to sustain a seductive experience with her.
So much to say on this topic, I'll offer this... To get what you want, give her what she wants. Present yourself as a confident, sex-worthy guy and spark her chemistry.
Lay a foundation that supports attraction... Get to know her, tease her, find commonalities, and engage her in lively banter... Then walk away. Why? Leave on a high note with her wanting more of your energy and charm. You're applying seductive effort then removing it, showing you have other things to do, other people to meet. If you hang around too long, things will fizzle out and you become another lame-ass dude. Walking away doesn't end things, it engages her to pursue. Chances are you'll reconnect before the night is out, and she'll make sure of it if she's into you.
@@elpresadorjr.6620 not really. What he said could work with anyone. I know lot of girls who date guys that are not even that good looking or rich.
Don't underestimate the game
@@elpresadorjr.6620 I'm a girl, and nah, it's not necessarily about good looks. I've met good-looking guys that initially appeared attractive, but their further behaviour kinda killed the mood. And I've also met guys who were not conventionally good-looking, but had confidence and that natural (or at least seemingly natural) charm about them that really made them stand out. :)
@Northern Guy, yeah, you got it right pretty much 😁
And yeah, confidence may require practice for some guys, but it's attainable. From a girl's perspective, I'd add - have a backbone. If you have principles, or an opinion on a topic, even if it differs from the girl's, don't worry about voicing it, don't agree with everything simply because you want to make a good impression. And not even because you're "lying", but because it comes across as un-confident.
This is very vague and not practical bro
Great depiction of the game, but you have to be at least average+ in looks to pull this out. While it's easy to build an attractive athletic body which takes ~3 years, building a great conversation skills and charismatic person takes far much longer, it's something that builds up from your childhood layer over layer.
In my experience. I have an uncle who was a mega asshole and would do stuff like that all the time. Growing up I began to build a stigma against the idea alone because I thought every dude who “lies” is a complete asshole and I don’t want to be an asshole to neither man or women. Eventually as I became a young adult I practiced with public speeches and slowly built a tolerance to the anxiety. Rehearsal is wise, but like an artist. You can’t give up over a mistake. Instead shape your mistake into a masterpiece. Be yourself and joke about your mistakes. We’re only human. If a girl can’t accept that she’s not worth it. When Alexander explained the speech part it made perfect sense. Self improvement is essential and you can’t hate yourself. I hope this helps!
"shape your mistake into a masterpiece" whata beautiful phrase. This is Modern day Socrates level stuff.
Talking to a woman is like playing jazz. There is a lot of improvisation in jazz, but there is also a base theme on which to fall back when the inspiration falters. In addition, there are certain pre-learned improvisation-styled riffs that are adequate for a great n umber of base themes, which you can use by playing variations on them to get the creative juices flowing.
"Do I look fat in this dress, honey?"
Translation : "I fancy a fight"
"Absolutely not! This dress seems kind of magic, to be able to hide your fat so perfectly!"
It's not the dress' fault
yes
Moto Moto: "Goodness girl, you's huge!"
Your like a real life version of Hitch. I think your social calibration level is pretty high especially on an analytical scale. I like how your versatile in trying to establish an improved connection both genders and the manner in which you subtly use calibration on your audience as well to help us get out of our own way/potentially limited perspective and see a clearer picture of this whole affair. Much thanks.
Preparation prevents piss poor performance
DISCLAIMER: You need to be attractive for this to work, otherwise you will most likely get an unpleasant response!
Must be in the top 10% so it’s totally useless for 90% of the population
@@grizzlybear2702 BS, I am not even in the 50%, and I am doing fine
Keep telling that to yourself, and limit your possibilities. Or choose to shape up, dress better, and learn to become more seductive to the opposite sex. Your choice at the end of the day.
And confidence is a huge factor in attractiveness (women even admit that much), so practicing confidence will get you further than being a pessimistic misanthrope.
@@jamesgg9950 That confidence only comes as a factor after you are already attractive.
You know, I read Michael Caine's autobiography last year and he had a specific chapter about this. Know your lines. He said that you always had to know your lines and be able to tell them if you get waken up in the middle of the night and it doesn't matter if it's for acting, work, relationships and so on. It really stuck with me and what you're saying in this video makes me think of that. I also have some set lines that I always use, but perhaps I need to expand them a bit more :)
Actually, it's similar with soldiers, too. Drill, drill, drill so that you can execute perfectly 100% of the time even when under extreme pressure. Weird how WW2 history books can relate to dating 😂
Oh Alex, with such a Title the Vulptures will come searching for Blood xD
Shameless clickbait
Excellent video.
When I used to do online dating, I would use corny jokes as openers in situations when I couldn't think of anything else. It could be fun, and there are benefits to knowing jokes that go beyond dating. The same jokes that make a girl laugh can make your friends laugh, and random strangers can make for an effective proving ground in figuring out what's funny
There are downsides to using jokes/lines:
1) If it's a joke/line from the internet, then other guys are out there using it. A girl who gets lots of attention from guys will probably have heard your joke/line many times before, and she got tired of it long before you came along. In situations like this, your joke/line will be potentially worse than simply saying, "Hi."
2) As Alexander demonstrated in his story about the video store, a woman will generally expect you to follow up your joke/line with more entertainment for her benefit. After the joke/line, if it goes well, what next? This part is actually more important than having a good joke/line, but guys can end up too fixated on their jokes/lines if they're not careful.
3) Starting an interaction with a joke/line can position it into a dynamic where you as the guy are the entertainer of the girl in a very one-sided way. Is this really what you want? Are girls that fall for one-liners the kind of girls that you want to be filtering for? How long do you want to maintain this dynamic? Once you get past the euphoria of, "OMG, it worked, this girl is talking to me!", then you may realize the importance of thinking through the longer game. Often times, the best thing to do next is to start asking questions that you are genuinely interested in. At some point, you may realize you can simply start with asking interested questions from the beginning, and you may end up preferring this over using one-liners.
I do think there is value in having a back pocket full of entertaining social tricks, but I would only recommend this to someone who enjoys it independently of "getting the girl," and I would also recommend lines/jokes/techniques that are applicable in a wider variety of social settings beyond cold-approaching a girl
Do you know any good youtubers for this?
This is actually a really good video, thanks for sharing. Massively helpful
I honestly don't think that the cold approach is for me but this type of videos are still helpful and entertaining.
The warm approach is a lot better since you're more comfortable with them.
cold approach is fun once you treat it as a game. Normal looking chicks are typical obstacles but hot chicks are the end-level boss. Like I know for a fact I will never get her number because I'm average looking and modern women want men a lot more attractive than they are - but it's fun just to try and "defeat the boss".
Thing is - it did work a few times, naturally it didn't last past a few nights.
And it can get tough too - one day I approached 11 women and got 0 numbers. Did I give up? Hell no.
@@wrmusic8736 pretty easy for an average guy with charisma to get a hot girl. The cold approach is just the least favourable.
I consider cold-approaching to be a valuable skill that is better employed for making friends, networking potential business contacts, enjoying oneself at a party, etc. Women are the absolute least important use for cold-approaching skills in my book, but people can have whatever priorities they want
@@dominictoretto9645 average guy will never get a hot girl, this is not how women work. This is not how human beings work.
A "hot girl" means she has an extreme variety of choice incl. among top men - not only she will never even consider an average guy - average guys are literally invisible to her. Because what can be a possible reason for any woman to pick an average joe - IF a square jawed 6' tall, 6-abs-packing Chad would be instantly available to her?
Great video Alex! Youve helped a lot
If something requires you to sacrifice your integrity its not worth pursuing
thats what i needed to hear...30 years ago.
Improv theater I would recommend. It makes you naturally fun. Coming up with lines that are compelling and witty
The biggest hurdle young men face is becoming nervous.
Nerves will appear when the approach puts you in a awkward position ie: by interrupting.
Nerves also appear when you hope for a certain outcome.
Being scripted will only add an expected outcome and blow up when it goes off script.
The secret is to not worry about the outcome and expect to be rejected.
A good tip is to have the same conversation, when introduced to a new work employee.
Integrity is a foreign word for women. I don't think they can understand it. Emotions run hard and guide them all the time.
@Mark Carwyn nope
@Mark Carwyn or taken early on. From what I've seen a women knows if she wants a family by the time she's 20 and seeks out a good person to have children with. Those that wish to 'live it up' tend to have less self control than their reserved counterparts. You become your environment unless you are of strong mind, which most people in general are not. I could be wrong but this is based off what I've seen.
There's a difference between a little prepared material at hand for the purpose of keeping the conversation going, versus malevolent manipulation.
Because woman never manipulate, they don't use makeup, puss up bras, heels...
@@atreyfall3812 Dressing well isn't manipulation lol
@@Cr0ssmyheart96 absolutely it is - they're not improving their appearance for health or hygiene - it's done for _vanity_ to favorably manipulate the perceptions of others
@@Cr0ssmyheart96 It is - if a girl looks like she has D cups, but when you undress her, she has A cups - it is really a lie.
@@Rhodair By your logic then, anything beyond healthy and basic hygiene, like styling your hair or wearing complimentary nice clothes, is an act of vanity and malevolent manipulation? Everyone wants to enhance their features and appear attractive. Looking good allows people to perceive you more positively in any kind of environment; not to mention, many public settings have dress codes and expectations to have a certain kind of appearance. So the vast majority of people aren't dressing up thinking, "how can I dress to get what I want?", but rather "what is appropriate for this occasion, compliments my appearance, and makes me look my best". Lots of times it's not even sexual. Also expecting people to look exactly the same in a casual private setting vs a public occasion is a bit odd. And as mentioned in a reply to someone else, you guys simultaneously want and condemn women who put a lot of effort into their looks and try to appear very feminine. It doesn't make any sense. If you don't want women who "wear too much makeup", are wearing clothing you find to be "manipulative", etc then go for women that DON'T do those things. It's really that simple. Nobody is forcing you to talk to anyone. Plus imo real manipulation involves some kind of persona/act, not just physical appearance.
thanks for this video and the follow-up part
At some point I was watching a bunch of RSD videos. Pretty good content.
These guys were pick-up artists but focused more on actually being who you want to be first, creating your own vibe and then bring it out in your interaction with people.
It was more about extraversion and understanding social dynamics than using standardized "canned lines".
Their main thing was to get people out of their awkward phase and make them have fun through seduction and just plain social interactions
I have come up with a reasonable and useful analogy on this topic:
You are an Olympic diver.
The board represents the opening pick up line.
And the quality of your dive, represents the success of your interaction.
Without the board, you would not be able to do as many flips.
But with it, you can use it as a springboard to get a much higher quality dive.
While the board is artificial in a sense, it is still you and your muscles performing the dive.
The board is only giving a boost, the rest is still up to you.
Not using any lines is as extreme as using only lines.
Taking a moderately balanced approach, and staying away from extremes would be best.
As always great video, with insightful dialogue!
I've seen good POA advice from Todd V, in fact, my son has had a lot of good results using his techniques...
I do have a lot of experience public speaking. I'll tell you how I do it, I have the first paragraph of my presentation written down and the last paragraph written down. In the middle, I have a 1 line reminder of each subtopic.
When I speak, I rarely reference my notes, once I get going, I'm good... But if I freeze at the start, I can read the first paragraph and I'm good to go. If I wander off topic and need to get back to the close, that's written down so i can reference that too. I'll even tell an audience, "Sorry, I need to check my notes !" Always gets a laugh, they know what it's like to be nervous and on the spot.
Point is, having an open and a close at the ready is a good idea in public speaking, probably a good idea in meeting women. Maybe not written down but on the other hand, pulling out a piece of paper and looking at it as you tell the girl, "Sorry, need to look at my notes on what to do if I meet a cute girl who makes me nervous" may work! Not sure, I haven't tried it.
I have a line that is funny but I'm scared to use it, because I'm idiot
"Do you believe In love at first sight or should I come again?"
Coach Kyle is crushing it rn. I recommend his videos.
dude you speak the truth. I fell upon the pick-up-artist literature early in college, Strauss "the game", etc, and it made me seriously despair: both b/c such literature existed, representing a breakdown in human relations in my society, but also that it worked. God help me, I've used a technique or two, sometimes without realizing it, and it worked, so I despair doubly and then again
This is like being allowed to have your notes out during an exam. it's totally okay to do, as long as you're not being malicious or manipulative. there's a clear distinction there.
i once heard in some cheap business video about 1% profits.
fresh nice clothes, parfume, grooming, haircuts, gym, cosmetics, clean nice home(where u can invite a woman), clean nice shoes(snickers).
its better to have this, then struggle without it. i add there pickup artistry too.
its better to know how its built and used, then struggle without it.
To be honest, i had no succsess with women, until i got in shape and read a book, "Der Aufreißer" the english version is "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists". In the first moment, i didn't think much of it. I gave it a shot and tested some of the exercises (yes exercises). Funny enough, they worked all. This book is not a book with just a few lines from pick up artists. This is a book to learn, to exercise, to build up yourself and to understand the game between men & women and become succesful in it. This is not a script. After a half year of training and living by it, i had a good succes to get women and changed my life in a better direction. However, this book doens't help you for many thing in a relationship. Its only a starter to get on your path.
In order to get a woman you must stick to the rules which define game we play. There is no man without an actor, and there is no actor without a man. As Alexander said, you can't be completely honest. You sacrifice your honesty in order to catch her attention.
When you lie, they buy! When you tell the truth, they cringe and shame you!
What do you do if you want to get something done...?
I understand what you're trying to say Alex, I do somewhat agree, but I would like to add something.
Rather than learning exactly what to say and risk sounding like a broken record, just learn how to approach people in general, ask them questions about themselves, be interested in them. That's how you show you are not too concerned about how they are perceiving you. After all, they need to have something to offer as well :)
This!
this is a better approach , I think Alex made a video about this. Oeople like talking about themselves and it's a strategy you can apply on cold approaching.
@Ryan Alex Why only approach women? People can gain a lot of confidence with people by approaching anybody, you never know, there might be a guy who you approach who introduces you to a girl, much easier that way as well.
@@joshy2joshy yeah approaching people is a very necessary tool, it can help you in so many other aspects of life besides just dating .
No it doesn't work on women. Unfortunately you have to make her feel a spark. I think cold approach could work if you don't see the woman often.If you keep seeing the woman like you work together being fun and one day asking her out could work. You can't be sending funny vibes to the girl and then trying to be serious suddenly. She will sense the awkwardness.
To be honest I needed to hear this, I too struggle with that initial interaction with women. I hardly ever really talk to them because I don't even know what to say
Sometimes you just gotta tell em what they want to hear.
Start telling a woman what you think she NEEDS to hear and you’ve already lost her!
Although I agree with your sentiment here I honestly can't stand guys that repeat the same jokes in a social setting over and over again. If you can't attract someone without being yourself then why even bother?
If scociety was as it should be, I would absolutely agree with you. However, that is not the case and I doubt it ever will be again. People want to be lied to becau "ma feels" come much higher than reality.
I agree! It's so annoying when they have barely any personality of their own and can't come up with their own jokes.
If it’s someone who says it all the time when you know them and have already heard it sure, but to use it on every new girl you meet it’s totally fine imo
Two peanuts are walking down the street, one was a salted.
I disagree. You can tell the some story or anecdote in the different settings because maybe it's the best you can tell and the one you remember the most, and it doesn't make you any less genuine
I read that book as well (i think it was called "The Game"?) and remember that nose-wiggling line. Never really tried it out though.
Genetically, women are the world's best shoppers. Hypergamy has made humans the #1 species.
Would be nice to also give some examples of such lines.
I gave up long before the internet existed. I've been alone for 30 years.
I rarely got past 'hello.' Some laughed in my face, like it was the funniest thing in the world that a guy like me would try to talk to them.
The majority said something extremely nasty, hurtful and mean, clearly meant to drive me away. It did.
I must've blocked the actual words out because I can't remember any specific lines, but this was 30-40 years ago too. All I can remember is the shock, the pain, and bewilderment "why does this total stranger (who has come here to this dance/bar/event to socialize,) hate me, (a total stranger,) so much?
I still don't know. I still wonder when lying awake at night when I can't sleep, why??? I didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve me either, I came to realize too.
I do know that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is a definition of insanity.
So I stopped.
I discovered I was a lot happier. A LOT.
I moved to the country alone and had my cabin, and chickens, dogs, cats, and ducks.
Somehow 30 years passed and I have not been even touched or touched someone. That blows my mind. I wonder how I can have managed to live. But I still do.
P.S. I was a well known surfer & male model in Santa Barbara. I started acting and got leading roles, good reviews, etc. So I wasn't unattractive or unintelligent. I learned to act confident on stage. Though I was nervous in a social scene, I knew how to project confidence. But the more this reaction happened, the more I dreaded it, the more I expected it. I had to stop.
The big mystery is why???
As far as I can discern, the effectiveness of this advice varies depending on the individual, both the performer and the audience (for lack of more elegant terminology). People who seek a romantic experience or people interested in such (who appear to be the target audience of this video) would likely find value in Mr Grace's advice. On the other hand I for one am less about the butterflies and more about maintaining stability in my life, and as such look for certain qualities in an individual from the other side of the river who may wish to share a boat with me -- qualities that would render pick-up lines, compliments, I-love-yous etc significantly less valuable compared to the average person among the said cohort. I would also prefer it if the other person would keep the compliments and I-love-yous and formalities to a minimum and instead focus on bringing more real benefit to the team. In conclusion, I think the value of knowing pick-up lines depends a lot on who your target audience is -- without first knowing yourself and therefore knowing what kind of person is optimal for you to be on a boat together with, it's impossible to know what you truly need.
I think it is far better to recognize the value in yourself, and to develop self confidence if it is lacking. Authenticity, confidence, integrity etc., and knowing you can be yourself comfortably is best. Work on that gentlemen if needed, because it will always carry far more weight than fake rehearsed lines.
If having a mindset is unfair.. well what about high heels, padded/wonder bra, make-up and clothes cut to force the body into a better shape?
Yes i agree. It is very helpful :)
Are there any women watching this channel? I really wonder that..
i do 😅
Me lol
there are also a few who are Patreon members
@@cutiepiebb So what do I have to say or do to for u to go out with me and does looks or height matter 🤔
@@ashantiberenice5798 Hello
This advice is true, but I wanna add one point: as someone who's got a lot of experience in public speaking and has been kinda successful with women from time to time, the situations in which I got the best responses, both in public speaking and interacting with women, was when I was in the moment and not going through any script.
Learning a script can help initially in making the first steps out of the door, but to be really captivating I feel like it's much better to just know the ideas very well beforehand, and then just go with the flow.
How do I overcome the cringe of remembering my first tries and my stupid mistakes, although I know I have improved?
Something else that helps is to find some reason to talk to her that has nothing to do with hitting on her. It will make talking less stressful and seem more natural. For example I was sitting next to someone on the train and her headphones were super tangled and I made a comment about that to start a conversation. Another one was when I was traveling I saw some interesting plants and started taking pictures. I noticed a pretty girl doing the same thing and started talking to her about that. If the conversation goes well you can try to get her contact info. If not then you can just move on without having to ask her out.
This is good advice
Also, you can practice this skill making new friends, socializing at parties, trolling girls by starting a conversation and then expressing no interest, there's lots of fun to be had
Most of the phone numbers out there really aren't worth having when it comes down to it, but fun and healthy socializing is a good mode to be able to operate in
Joey Tribbiani: "How ya doooinnn?"
When i was young i had a lot of approach anxiety. My stomach would turn and i'd miss my chance. Nowadays, i'm scared of getting 'me too'd' for talking to women.
Same thing, different cope.
@@yankochoynev652 you’re saying he’s coping by saying that he won’t approach women by fear of “me too”? When he in reality is still just a coward?
That is so interesting fr!!
Your chess analogy fits very well, there's preparation but then there's your performance in the actual game. You usually need both to win, the difference being you don't have to 'win' every game like a GM. IQ could help you make on the spot decisions and preparation could ensure you're on a familiar path where your thinking potential is maximum.
By memorising lines all you're doing is driving the course of the game to the direction where you can play very easily, you do need some amount of basic skill to be able to survive there (chess puzzles = basic practice? and chess theory = pickup lines?). So depending on your opponent, if their style complements yours, you'll 'win' more easily
Of course, there's also the case that you might be too good and are looking for a genuine challenge, where your preparation is useless and only the life you built up is useful, at that point you're just 'winning' for the fun of it. I think good players exist for them too. It does mean one thing for sure, it's not the prep that makes chess or dating fun, it's the point where you have to think and can do it nicely once you used your prep, by using prep you're just making it easier to reach that point
Memorising lines is great if you want a one night stand but when she eventually sees the *real* you she'll ditch you for the next exciting pickup artist or whatever lol
In the 90s i learn to sell a woman a dream and tell her what she wants to hear. The lines or jokes i learn came from women i wasnt interested in.
But the telemarketer approach is the best. Use 10 phrases no more. An have a script. Not a verbatim word for word. Use 3 rebuttals if she says NO...
I just got a chick phone number sunday from cold approach.
Use deception and manipulation and charisma to get as many women as possible.
Learning how to small talk and keep the conversation flowing isn't cringe, I always open with brave charismatic honesty and enthusiasm, after that, walking words towards opening the question for digits is where the true skill in awareness occurs
Pick up artists pretend they have what women pretend they don't want
I cannot imagine myself doing this out of the blue and with any pretty girl. The idea of “playing the game” in dating has always repulsed me. I find it very unnatural and my body and soul just say no.
From my experience, right dating partners (or just flirts) did not come from forced or prepared situations, but naturally and with mutual interest. Even doing jokes or telling small playful “lies” cannot work if it is not natural for me. I have to feel it is right for me/us to do it. Then it can really brighten the mood and bring new interesting level to the interaction.
For example that is why I coudn’t make Tinder work. It is very unnatural place and I did not find anyone from all thousands of women who I would click with from the start. The conversation openers did not work... and honestly I really did not want them to work, when it didn’t feel right.
Exactly this, there are so many fking rules, Jesus. Look some are good, like being on your purpose, having goals, confidence and all other things. But to follow all those rules, I will opting out lol.
Damn, this comment perfectly describes me
I wish I could just lie. Why did my parents raise me to honest? I wish I was like them
@Steve Niesielowskimorals have cause me loneliness and pain. I'm convinced it's just a scam.
@@erikdekker1 it's not that complicated and picking up girls on Tinder and IRL are 2 dif things.. but at the end of the day this stuff should not stress you..it felt very unnatural to me aswell from age 15-21 but after that I slowly started breaking those mental barriers around me and it took a lot of repetition and experience to start getting better with women..my own inner demons used to hold me a lot
@@Do4Love71 this is the way, it’s just conditioning if you simplify it
funny! how do you know all of this things bro~ makes me smile
This is just the definition of fake it till you make it or at least you're comfortable enough to make authentic progress.
No one can actually tell what is working for you! I've seen girls that I met on a club that after two drinks saying to me "let's fck!" It depends on her mood on that night.If you are clever enough to find her mood that night you maybe can win her. Sometimes cold approach can be great to a girl that you just meet on a club. In my opinion you can use fun etc to a girl that you are seeing everyday, let's say on work! But definitely it depends on her mood in that specific moment that you made the move. We just make the move and they decide. Let's face the reality guys! In my opinion is just a number of games! If you're attractive guy even when you say bullshits you still can get the girl any time in any place.
Where can I learn some rehearsal lines?
that comb over. buzz it. will look neat and tidy.
I don't know why everyone is so strict about telling the truth, those are only innocent jokes, it's just poetic license. You can even expose yourself few moments later with "I was joking, I just tried to get your attention, because you're cute" if you really feel bad with it, but I wouldn't - this is just a normal thing, acting above your natural abilities is normal, in fact, this is improvement to yourself. I guess what Alexander had in mind was simple "fake it until you become it" and it works everywhere, it's like being afraid of touching a guitar because you haven't yet learn how to play - well... guess what? You won't until you try to play some notes and most of the first notes will be imperfect or even fake - that's how life works. First you follow some tutorials from masters and try to imitate their work to learn their craft, then you can create on your own. You're never prepared sufficiently for anything in life, whether it is your first job, first child, first kiss, you just need to jump in.
Besides, isn't wearing a makeup a bit of a innocent lie? All's fair in love and war, gents.
Maybe I have to face reality which Alex explained well, but I don't have to like it. I just don't see why people use up such a large percentage of their brain on mastering all the intricacies of social life.
Build you relationships based on lies. Sounds like a winning strategy.
When I talk to a pretty woman, my pants wiggle.
Noone complains about girls basically lying about their appearance by putting on make up in every day situations, just to be prepared when Chad Thundercock comes around. So why would it be bad to prepar some lines as a guy if that's what you have to do to make an impression?
I know a guy who did all this. Now he is married to a beautiful woman who is miserable.
Charisma on Command has some great videos on how to keep conversations interesting!
4:36 dont call me out like that lol
He has a point especially if you are the nervous type. But for me it's a no no. I'll just be myself and if I run out of what to say. So be it
The hot ones have heard it all and know how the game is played...
Where can I find some good rehearsed lines?
James Tusk is a brilliant dating coach as is Seb from Leading Man Attraction or James Marshall. All of these guys are fantastic at teaching you how to confidently approach and engage women.
Thanks, I'll check them out.
I don't want to be disrespectful but they are all good looking or tall (or combination of both). Could you suggest a guy out there who is not good looking facially, is short and ethnic as well
@@Ri-hr4uy
It's a fair comment but looks are not everything. It's all about your inner game, you have to have self -belief and confidence or looks won't get you anywhere. James Tusk says it himself; before he got training and ventured into Daygame he got zero attention from women at all when he went out. Unless you happen to be a famous actor /model/presenter or similar women will never approach. This is because most women see the first step as being for men to do, it re-inforces their feelings of value. Also, most women are terrified of rejection and those who aren't and do approach ( they are in the minority) have terrible game so half the time it's not really obvious why they're talking to us in the first place. What you must never do is use a limiting belief to prevent you from making an approach. If you cite your height or looks as a reason not to approach then you effectively reject yourself. There are many, many women out there and they don't all go for 6ft plus model guys. Take a walk down a city centre high street, you will see women with shorter men who are not classically good looking and all manner of others. The key is to work on your inner game first and the rest will follow 👍👍
@@DJWenlowe tbh bro, you are entitled to your own beliefs and world views but the truth is gonna remain the truth. You also have much more positive view of such stuff, which means that you got the looks to pull it off. I ain't gonna believe a word you say about looks unless you are south-asian version of a jack-ma look-a-like. And even then I doubt how much you are leading using your wallet. I just want to give this path a shot so that I can say for sure it's all looks based in the end
I used to know a lot of pickup lines when I was younger. It sure would be awkward if right in the middle of a conversation you say do you have a bandaid and she says why and you say because I scraped my knee falling for you . She would probably be like that's creepy
When a woman uses the word "creepy," it usually just means "unattractive"
What I found, is that dates from online dating work pretty well. I can prepare for them, I can think of some things to do, I am alone with her, there's often a more relaxing environment to talk in... I've had success more than I expected, but yeah the competition is huge.
I am not the unexpected-things-happen-in-a-club type. Likely due to my introverted and slightly autistic personality. Plan, prepare, act, is more my thing.
And yeah, I'm single again. I don't need to have some, but I'm open to a new connection.
Here's what I do, or rather did for years, which is kind of an in-between.
I'll walk up, say "Hi, I'm Alex, what's your name," and it usually goes fairly well from there. So it's not really a pickup line, but it is a rehearsed statement. From there I've usually thought up a few things I'm interested in, and I like to think of them a bit before going into a conversation. Since I'm familiar with a range of topics, it's a good work in to see what she likes and is interested. Then mix it up with general flirtation techniques.
Admittedly I'm very rusty as I haven't attempted to pick up a woman in decades. So I do sometimes find myself back in that teenage stage at times, where I'll say something witty, then go blank on either what to say...or more importantly, how to approach a question to make it open ended (and end up in a single-answer question, which always falls short).
Though since then I've started getting back into pick-up lines, or at least transitional lines and phrases to catch things off guard, then switch back to more fluid conversation. I agree it does take the pressure off by shifting my own focus, not just the woman I'm talking with. Though I don't generally get enough consistent practice to get back in the flow, at least for now.
Practice makes perfect.
Wait what happened to the video "the only time you should lie to a women"? I was looking forward to watch it.😂
It isn’t about lying or anything lol, it’s just having some prepared lines that will start conversations.
No, walking up to a pretty woman is not scary.
It's exciting.
And the difference between fear and excitement is preparation.
Confidence comes from knowing your subject. Like "Hi my name is.... Could not help but notice.... Try this.
Great recommendation Alexander. But where to start? Because is not the same trying the same line to a 18 year old girl than to an early 30's year old woman. Do you have any good reference?