00:48 plan in high quality connection time with friends and family (quality not quantity) 02:50 having difficult conversations (boundaries, needs, relationships, problems, challenges, talk things out) 05:02 thinking time (problems, big decisions, regrets, don't avoid this or flee into more positive thoughts) 08:46 organising your thoughts (regularly, to not feel overwhelmed, like you clean your home reset your mind and brain dump stuff) 09:51 getting life admin done (necessary appointments) I'm taking these notes also for myself, might come back later again. Sorry for that and thank you for the video!
This is such a good video! I recently read an article contrasting 'self-care' vs 'self-soothing'. Aka nutrition, sleep, solid relationships are true long term self care; while long baths, entertainment, retail therapy, etc are self soothing & only short term fixes to a chaotic mind. Love that Muchelle is cutting thru the noise & getting at real self care!
I like how you emphasize that we have to learn to have difficult conversation because if not , it may come out in some other way we do not like or do not expect. Thank you for that
I've recenty started a "Task dump" Notion page, where I put in all the smaller or bigger tasks which I look at once or twice a week and plan them out. I've been feeling much less overwhelmed about all the things I'm supposed to take care of at some point in the future :)
My husband and I have a similar weekly process. He’s my best friend but life is life and we’re individuals with our own thoughts and needs and we just like to make time to check in and make sure we’re both feeling whole and supported. We call it our buddy system meeting. I thought I would mention that we layout a cheese and fruit tray or incorporate an herbal tea ritual ( I grow and make our teas ) because it gives us a positive tie to the meeting...also there are times that we don’t have a lot to address and it’s an opportunity to still just spend quality time together outside of date night. We also take classes together on skillshare ( and other methods like book courses or we learn to implement apps ) for personal growth. It keeps us accountable and connected. 😀
In this chaotic world, it is really really important to take care of yourself. I appreciate you for putting yourself in the first place and inspiring a lot of us.
i am also guilty of feeling like spending time w friends/family was a waste of my time and taking away from getting to my goals when i was younger. but such a important realization that connection is vital for self care!!
I've definitely noticed now with the pandemic that having scheduled time to connect with people is so important. It's been easy to lose track of that with work from and things being closed making your regular reminders to connect with people kind of fall off.
This is really useful because I'm currently off work with stress & I do see a lot of patterns in my mind, cropping up in this video. I'm not sure how I'm going to have a difficult conversation with my branch manager. He's just started with the company, he has been thrown in the deep end with little preparation & I appreciate that he's trying to be enthusiastic. At the same time, I feel like he has a lot unrealistic expectations, all these big 'new' ideas (that have been tried many times before). I'm trying to not rain on his parade but I also feel the need to be a bit blunt about the fact that a lot of them won't come to fruition. He probably thinks I'm hyper-negative about everything but I don't want him to work himself into the ground for a company that won't thank him for it. They don't treat their management very well at all.
I can’t usually watch videos with music in the background because if it’s kinda sad sounding it gives me too many feels. But the music you added to this video was so calming and I love how low and subtle it is 🦋💙
For me, quality time with others is key. I'm an introvert but also my love language is quality time. It took me a while to realize that meals quality over quantity!
This was so good. I’ve been having an issue w a friend and decided I couldn’t deal w the anxiety around talking to her and my interactions w her. I decided I couldn’t handle it anymore and asked her what the heck was up. We ended up falling out and it sucked for a week or so. But now I don’t have to deal w her passive aggressive bull poop and I feel so much better.
Amazing, we know how hard it can be to let go of a friend but if the relationship is not serving you and only adding stress/anxiety then it's the best move!! Well done for taking that decision and prioritising your own happiness ☺️💛
Muchelle, I just love seeing your videos. It is such a self-love moment for me where I know that I am going to learn something truly kind and nourishing to my soul.
Yes! It is so important to know what self care activity you can go to and integrate into your life. Only when you take care of yourself can you the be your best self and help others! 💖🌟🎉
Lovely video, Muchelle! Honestly, I have so many tiny to do's. A life admin day sounds like something I need. In addition, connections with humans is so beneficial for sure. I appreciate you mentioned the hard conversations.
Wow Sooo crazy, I was talking about that today! Yes yes yes! If you love your family, you need to love yourself and give yourself self-care to be happier and love those around you!
The difficult conversations got me, it's always so hard to bring up stuff without either being mad or causing severe anxiety in my partner :/ I really struggle to get to my point verbally and honestly it's impacted my relationship to the point where I ended up screaming at my partner out of frustration (not my proudest moment) and he was like ???? Wtf why didn't you tell me this was a problem??? and I was like I've told you so many times??? And he was like uhmmm no? You've told me that it would be nice if I bought you flowers more often but not that I'm a "thoughtless jerk" (to put it politely) Fast forward a few days after, I ended up having to read out a few extracts from my diary bc I was so jumbled and angry in my head I couldn't get to the nub of the problem like I can on paper. It was brutal but like honestly improvements have been made, even simple things like asking me if I need a hand w the dishes right after dinner as opposed to when I've finished cleaning up 👌 🤯 Were slowly easing into ACTUALLY talking about the things but yeah having a weekly meeting sounds like a much better way of doing it rather than a huge argument every 2 weeks bc we suck at communicating 🙄
Love this! This plays a bit in working to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Sometimes when you are actively pursuing your endeavors, it's easy to let things fall behind, especially the relationships within your life.
Love your videos! Would find it really helpful if you added a slide towards the end of your video recapping the main points; sometimes I get to the end and forget so would appreciate a reminder! Thanks again for making such useful and helpful videos 💗
Wow I feel like I found a twin sister. I relate to all the tendancies you mentioned you have, and i've been working on similar habits. Thanx for emphasizing the importance of them.
Totally agree! Muchelle has actually motivated us to start our own CZcams channel! It's been scary but exciting at the same time! Would love for you to check it out since we love connecting with likeminded people 💛☺️
Truth is spoken on this video! 🙌🏻🙌🏻 thanks so much Muchelle, these things are so important and often neglected! I definitely avoid hard conversations which is something I am trying to work on☺️
I love this so much! Self-care and wellness used to mean being connected, but companies wanted to make money out of the concept and it turned into a business. I'm so glad you are reminding everyone of what self care truly is
Wow that's early!! 7.30😱 Yes to tips on how to go to bed earlier, and if I can I'll add: how to get to work on time. No matter how early I wake up I'm always running late, I have such a huge resistance to going out of the house. Any tip is welcome!
Totally agree! The thing that resonated with us the most is human connection, that's something we need to integrate more (i guess covid hasn't helped) 😅
I feel... (name the emotion - eg, frustrated), When you... (name the action - eg, dont do the dishes), I'd much prefer... (State your alternative - eg, we stick to the chores roster), How do you feel about that?
This is great. I actually love the ‘because I really value (e.g. I really value the house feeling nice and tidy when I walk in the door) ’ segment of the nvc method as well! I think it makes a huge difference in how someone might take the message and makes it so much less about them!
Connection is great but be mindful and picky of who you connect to as a friend . Ok , You can love people but you can not make all people close friends ...
And what if you had the ”put the dishes in the dishwasher so we will always have a nice clean kitchen” conversation, and yet he never does it? 😑 I started to ignore dishes and just do it whenever I have time. But this means that if I have a busy day, I don't do the kitchen until the next day when it is a complete disaster 🤷🏻♀️
Great information! With all due respect, I would really appreciate if you could talk a little slow, a broader audience like from Asia and middle east will be able to understand and follow you. There was so much great information, would have been nice, if they were in two or three different parts.
For us it's just about 1) finding a good time, when we know our partner is calm and has time to talk 2) Set clear intentions and let them know that you want to discuss about something so you can both improve and have a stronger relationship moving forward. In the process it's really important not to accuse them of anything but simply explain how you feel and then give them the room to talk so you can listen! Hope it helps 😁💛
@@SteAndRach hey thanks! 😊 My partner is the kind who doesn't like to talk abt difficult stuff.. so I'm really confused abt how to go abt these things with him.. I'll give this a try👍
00:48 plan in high quality connection time with friends and family (quality not quantity)
02:50 having difficult conversations (boundaries, needs, relationships, problems, challenges, talk things out)
05:02 thinking time (problems, big decisions, regrets, don't avoid this or flee into more positive thoughts)
08:46 organising your thoughts (regularly, to not feel overwhelmed, like you clean your home reset your mind and brain dump stuff)
09:51 getting life admin done (necessary appointments)
I'm taking these notes also for myself, might come back later again. Sorry for that and thank you for the video!
Thank you!!
What do you mean “sorry”?! Thank you so much! :)
@@brittanycgonzalez you're welcome! A little apology to muchelleb for posting a summary which gives away what she says in the video :P
Thank you for doing this
This is so great! I love how you saying thinking time is self care also having your space clean
If you read this, know that I'm rooting for you. You'll reach your dreams soon ❤
I hope the same greatness happens to u as well!💪👍😇🙋
Thxs so much
It's all I was needing to (hear) read 💗 the same for youu
This is such a good video! I recently read an article contrasting 'self-care' vs 'self-soothing'. Aka nutrition, sleep, solid relationships are true long term self care; while long baths, entertainment, retail therapy, etc are self soothing & only short term fixes to a chaotic mind. Love that Muchelle is cutting thru the noise & getting at real self care!
it’s been a busy week, it’s time to fill up my own cup ✨
I like how you emphasize that we have to learn to have difficult conversation because if not , it may come out in some other way we do not like or do not expect. Thank you for that
I've recenty started a "Task dump" Notion page, where I put in all the smaller or bigger tasks which I look at once or twice a week and plan them out. I've been feeling much less overwhelmed about all the things I'm supposed to take care of at some point in the future :)
this is a great idea, I think I am going to try this out! Thank you :)
Connect with the right people. Your vibe attracts your tribe 💛
My husband and I have a similar weekly process. He’s my best friend but life is life and we’re individuals with our own thoughts and needs and we just like to make time to check in and make sure we’re both feeling whole and supported. We call it our buddy system meeting.
I thought I would mention that we layout a cheese and fruit tray or incorporate an herbal tea ritual ( I grow and make our teas ) because it gives us a positive tie to the meeting...also there are times that we don’t have a lot to address and it’s an opportunity to still just spend quality time together outside of date night. We also take classes together on skillshare ( and other methods like book courses or we learn to implement apps ) for personal growth. It keeps us accountable and connected. 😀
Self- care is so important and something I need to prioritize more, your videos always brighten my day ❤️
I agree! I love her and her videos so much!!
Fatemah Jerman Me too!! :)
In this chaotic world, it is really really important to take care of yourself. I appreciate you for putting yourself in the first place and inspiring a lot of us.
can you make a video on how to try to stop phone addiction?
If you look up MuchelleB phone a few videos will come up!
muchelleb: tysm!!!
i am also guilty of feeling like spending time w friends/family was a waste of my time and taking away from getting to my goals when i was younger. but such a important realization that connection is vital for self care!!
Would love to learn more about your weekly marriage meeting!
I've definitely noticed now with the pandemic that having scheduled time to connect with people is so important. It's been easy to lose track of that with work from and things being closed making your regular reminders to connect with people kind of fall off.
This is really useful because I'm currently off work with stress & I do see a lot of patterns in my mind, cropping up in this video. I'm not sure how I'm going to have a difficult conversation with my branch manager. He's just started with the company, he has been thrown in the deep end with little preparation & I appreciate that he's trying to be enthusiastic. At the same time, I feel like he has a lot unrealistic expectations, all these big 'new' ideas (that have been tried many times before). I'm trying to not rain on his parade but I also feel the need to be a bit blunt about the fact that a lot of them won't come to fruition. He probably thinks I'm hyper-negative about everything but I don't want him to work himself into the ground for a company that won't thank him for it. They don't treat their management very well at all.
Self care is EVERYTHING!!!💕
I can’t usually watch videos with music in the background because if it’s kinda sad sounding it gives me too many feels. But the music you added to this video was so calming and I love how low and subtle it is 🦋💙
For me, quality time with others is key. I'm an introvert but also my love language is quality time. It took me a while to realize that meals quality over quantity!
I agree! I never heard someone say this. But spending quality time with friends or family, feels super refreshing!
This was so good. I’ve been having an issue w a friend and decided I couldn’t deal w the anxiety around talking to her and my interactions w her. I decided I couldn’t handle it anymore and asked her what the heck was up. We ended up falling out and it sucked for a week or so. But now I don’t have to deal w her passive aggressive bull poop and I feel so much better.
Amazing, we know how hard it can be to let go of a friend but if the relationship is not serving you and only adding stress/anxiety then it's the best move!! Well done for taking that decision and prioritising your own happiness ☺️💛
I’ve been watching you for years but jeez do I need these videos now.
Just positivity!
Muchelle, I just love seeing your videos. It is such a self-love moment for me where I know that I am going to learn something truly kind and nourishing to my soul.
thank you for this! i like that most of these are tailored for people who have quality time as their love language like myself
Yes! It is so important to know what self care activity you can go to and integrate into your life. Only when you take care of yourself can you the be your best self and help others! 💖🌟🎉
Lovely video, Muchelle! Honestly, I have so many tiny to do's. A life admin day sounds like something I need. In addition, connections with humans is so beneficial for sure. I appreciate you mentioned the hard conversations.
Wow Sooo crazy, I was talking about that today! Yes yes yes! If you love your family, you need to love yourself and give yourself self-care to be happier and love those around you!
GOSH I’m taking tomorrow off because my life has gotten CRAZY lately!! Thank god you’re here for us!! Love uuu 💜
The difficult conversations got me, it's always so hard to bring up stuff without either being mad or causing severe anxiety in my partner :/
I really struggle to get to my point verbally and honestly it's impacted my relationship to the point where I ended up screaming at my partner out of frustration (not my proudest moment) and he was like ???? Wtf why didn't you tell me this was a problem??? and I was like I've told you so many times??? And he was like uhmmm no? You've told me that it would be nice if I bought you flowers more often but not that I'm a "thoughtless jerk" (to put it politely)
Fast forward a few days after, I ended up having to read out a few extracts from my diary bc I was so jumbled and angry in my head I couldn't get to the nub of the problem like I can on paper. It was brutal but like honestly improvements have been made, even simple things like asking me if I need a hand w the dishes right after dinner as opposed to when I've finished cleaning up 👌 🤯
Were slowly easing into ACTUALLY talking about the things but yeah having a weekly meeting sounds like a much better way of doing it rather than a huge argument every 2 weeks bc we suck at communicating 🙄
I love clicking on your videos! I instantly feel brightness and joy radiating 😊
Love this! This plays a bit in working to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Sometimes when you are actively pursuing your endeavors, it's easy to let things fall behind, especially the relationships within your life.
Love your videos! Would find it really helpful if you added a slide towards the end of your video recapping the main points; sometimes I get to the end and forget so would appreciate a reminder! Thanks again for making such useful and helpful videos 💗
Loved this! And I'll admit, I hadn't thought of half of these things as self care! But now I can see how they all may help. Thank you!
Wow I feel like I found a twin sister. I relate to all the tendancies you mentioned you have, and i've been working on similar habits. Thanx for emphasizing the importance of them.
Super helpful tips.. not the norm love this, thank you 🌷🌷I brain dump all the time! Love the admin one too.. xx
Such great tips. Self care is so important ☺️
love your videos !! all of them motivates me more and more :)
Totally agree! Muchelle has actually motivated us to start our own CZcams channel! It's been scary but exciting at the same time! Would love for you to check it out since we love connecting with likeminded people 💛☺️
I freakin love this vid. Less pressure more realistic...
Number 2 is very important.. thank u muchelle! Love ya sis😍
In love. Your vibe is SO zen.
Subscribed with urgency.
Truth is spoken on this video! 🙌🏻🙌🏻 thanks so much Muchelle, these things are so important and often neglected! I definitely avoid hard conversations which is something I am trying to work on☺️
I love this so much! Self-care and wellness used to mean being connected, but companies wanted to make money out of the concept and it turned into a business. I'm so glad you are reminding everyone of what self care truly is
Wow that's early!! 7.30😱
Yes to tips on how to go to bed earlier, and if I can I'll add: how to get to work on time. No matter how early I wake up I'm always running late, I have such a huge resistance to going out of the house. Any tip is welcome!
Thank you for the skillshare link Muchelle! I have signed up and yours will be the first to watch and learn from!
Re: difficult conversations....have you tried the We’re Not Really Strangers card game? 😊
Love the tip to _plan_ time to have difficult conversations.
Self care and organisation queen!👑 🙌
You had me at "you are going to be a bit crap", feeling like this at the moment. 😭 I loved your video
I love all of your videos, but this one is really reaaaly good!
I love NVC, it's so fun to hear other people talk about it!
thanks for sharing, great video xx
Very inspiring video as always :) And I also really like the colours/colour pallette of this video!
The best self-care video I've ever seen. Thanks, Michelle.
Watching you brings me peace ❤️ love your channel
In my free time FOR days I've been binge-watching your videos and trying to catch up! Always love a Muchelleb video.
So many great points, thanks for sharing!
Muchelle, you're content is the best. Thank you for another great video!
Great tips as usual. Thank you Michelle 💜
your channel has really helped me organize my life, huge thank you xx
i’m not sure if you’ve made this video, but any advice on being more of a do-er and less of a thinker? Overthinking is a pitfall of mine, sadly. 😅
This is an amazing video with lots of tips that are so useful! I especially liked tip 1 and definitely need to shift my mindset. Thank you! :)
thank you so much for this video!
Thank you so much your videos are always so inspirational!!!
This is such a great content, thank you so much 🙏🏼🧡💫
Totally agree! The thing that resonated with us the most is human connection, that's something we need to integrate more (i guess covid hasn't helped) 😅
Wise words!
Thank you so much for these types of content..🥰 new subbie here. 😃🙋♀️🙂
love you girl!!!❤❤❤❤ you are just awesome!!! Soooo beautiful 🤩🥺
Each of your tips are amazing!!
YAY ANOTHER VIDEO!
Yay, a new Michelle-video to brighten up my day! 🙈
I love your vids Michelle, you're a fave ❤️
Thank you so much for this video. Really needed this at the moment!
the fact that there are no dislikes😱
Now there are 5☹☹
Useful life tips!👍💪👏🙌
Love love love this video
It would be really cool if the color of the thumbnail matched the color of the actual video.
this is an awesome video Michelle!! Thank you for this :)) x
Thank you so much gorgeous 💗💗💗
Love this so helpful! 💕
Thank u 🙏💛
Needed this.
I feel... (name the emotion - eg, frustrated),
When you... (name the action - eg, dont do the dishes),
I'd much prefer... (State your alternative - eg, we stick to the chores roster),
How do you feel about that?
This is great. I actually love the ‘because I really value (e.g. I really value the house feeling nice and tidy when I walk in the door) ’ segment of the nvc method as well! I think it makes a huge difference in how someone might take the message and makes it so much less about them!
Connection is great but be mindful and picky of who you connect to as a friend .
Ok , You can love people but you can not make all people close friends ...
Muchelle you are such a queen. I
So important 👏🏻
I absolutely love your accent 😍
hey hon can you please mention what music you put it on your background?
I do the exact opposite think about problems in my life to much to point of anxiety and depression.
And what if you had the ”put the dishes in the dishwasher so we will always have a nice clean kitchen” conversation, and yet he never does it? 😑 I started to ignore dishes and just do it whenever I have time. But this means that if I have a busy day, I don't do the kitchen until the next day when it is a complete disaster 🤷🏻♀️
Yes to all of this!!!
Great information! With all due respect, I would really appreciate if you could talk a little slow, a broader audience like from Asia and middle east will be able to understand and follow you. There was so much great information, would have been nice, if they were in two or three different parts.
thanks 💕
♥️♥️♥️✨
You should fix the harsh S sounds in your videos, It'll make them much better to listen to
Holddd up weekly marriage meetings? Congrats on getting married!!!
No no! Not married 😂 just like to do the meetings
💗💗🥰
Music is lovely but distracting.
How do you get your partner to have these difficult conversations?
For us it's just about 1) finding a good time, when we know our partner is calm and has time to talk 2) Set clear intentions and let them know that you want to discuss about something so you can both improve and have a stronger relationship moving forward. In the process it's really important not to accuse them of anything but simply explain how you feel and then give them the room to talk so you can listen! Hope it helps 😁💛
@@SteAndRach hey thanks! 😊 My partner is the kind who doesn't like to talk abt difficult stuff.. so I'm really confused abt how to go abt these things with him.. I'll give this a try👍
Well I don’t need at all to being difficult conversation. It’s there all day .
When you have Viking stubborn husband , a teenager and a toddler.😏