Why You Should Be Taking More Risks For Love With Estée Lalonde
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- čas přidán 28. 07. 2024
- In today’s episode of Working Hard, Hardly Working, I am so excited to be chatting with Estée Lalonde, one of the OG beauty bloggers & now founder of the bath and body brand MIRROR WATER.
She’s now got over 2 million followers, but it all started when she was just 19 and decided to move halfway across the world to a city where she knew no-one, all because of love.
She’s speaks so openly about her mental health, the highs and lows of her relationships and now building a brand, and even her proposal ultimatum. I can’t wait for you to hear this girly chat, we go deep!
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I married my husband based off an ultimatium. It was horrific. Hated the wedding, resented it. I now realise I didn't just want to be married, I wanted someone to WANT to marry me and ultimatums don't give you that. You never get over the fact that he did not want you in the way that was important to you and that it was forced - it will always hurt. I hope Estee doesnt go through what i'm going through, but it seems likely - a lot of my friends who did similar to me say the same. It breeds resentment and doesn't fill the void of wanting to be proposed to and desired. If I could go back in time I would have left him the first time he said no.
I was thinking the same thing while listening to how she went about it... it would crush me to have twist someone's arm to propose.
I know I understand what you are saying I hear you and see you my dear better to do what you want in your life better than to have that resentment and loss of respect Sending love to you
I know everyone’s relationship is different and I wish estee and her fiancé all of the best, but gosh. I NEVER had to experience this with my fiancé. He pursued me with intentionality. He was clear and kind with his communication and intentions with me. Never left me confused with how he felt or what he wanted our future to look like. We both communicated and agreed we were ready for an engagement and I remember how exciting that moment was the first time he brought that conversation up. It was so so special and not only that it feels even more special as a woman to feel seen and chosen because he can’t imagine being with anyone else. Basically…don’t settle. ever. There are wonderful men out there that will never have you choosing an ultimatum as a last resort.
Good for you.
Good for you. I see it from Estee’s perspective too. She’s of an age where it is time to think about children and family planning. How many more almost perfect men can you date until the clock runs out? Perhaps not ideal but it’s what is working for her.
@@fluffyclouds555 i totally feel for her too and can empathize with her decision. I appreciate your perspective, her fiancé I am sure is a wonderful partner and I don’t fault estee at all for wanting to lock it down - ideally her fiance would have understood estee’s desires/needs more fully or even better… both coming to a mutual agreement it was the right time to avoid the ultimatum all together :(
Incredibly confused as to why people think ultimatums are ever a good idea. Hope this works out for her...
It didn’t work out. The wedding is called off and she deleted wedding related videos from her socials
I hope it works out for Estee but people pls NEVER EVER FORCE OR PRESSURE someone to marry you or having kids! Thats 100% the wrong way for a healthy relationship.
Estée is just so real. I love her openness and vulnerability, it’s so admirable
Eek! Thank you for having me on the show Grace!
You honestly changed the CZcams game back then. You were probably the first english speaking CZcamsr I followed. Your way of filming was unique back then with so much effort put into the quality of your videos. It felt like watching a movie. You were bubbly funny and had really good taste! And you always kept that authenticity even though CZcams isn’t your main job anymore. It’s just a pleasure to follow you into your new ventures where you put so much thought into ❤️ lots of love Estee ❤
Thanks for this interview Estee! Sending you love ❤️
You were my very first CZcamsr, Instagram, & TikTok person to follow. You’re such a gem 💎. 💖
I bought plumful by Mac because of you in the beginning and I’ve been watching ever since. Cheering you on from the sidelines 🎉❤.
Have been following since the start, the Essie Button days! Omg how old am I! 😂 But it’s been so amazing following your journey and seeing your growth! ❤❤
A good male friend once told me one of the best advices about men :D So far it has been 1000% true - "If a man really is into you, you will never have to doubt it!" Meaning - if you question if he is into you or if he appreciates you enough - he does not (but don't be overanalyzing tho :D) If he likes you - he will go out of his way to show you. It has beeeen soooo true, I have stuck out so many times just waiting when the guy will take the next step and it never happened.. I never give ultimatums tho, but if he wanted - he would ask for a hand, point blank. If he really is into you - he will propose as fast as he can..
“It’s a privilege to have people who support you taking risks” omg this resonated with me so so much. I’ve never had that kind of support from my family but thankfully found it through friendships. It is so important!
I could be wrong but I feel like grace would be a better interviewer if she let go a little bit, the questions are clunky & unclear, it seems like she’s daydreaming a few times & also a lot of glancing at notes :(
Estee is so real & warm & lovely!! Happy for her xx
I keep thinking 'PLEASE, LET HER TALK!!!'
I think it takes balls for Estee to admit the ultimatum proposal and knowing so clearly what she wants. So many couples do break up after years of not growing and that narrative of 'if a man wanted to - he would' is kinda bull. So many men ..and woman need support to make life long decisions like this. Decision by indecision is horrid to go through after so many years. So happy to see her happy after this many years of sharing her life with us.
And just as many break up because they were told to propose or else.
@@Freya-uv3skI’m hearing her wedding is off
@@Light-tc8xc That is correct, she had to notify attendees since it was a destination wedding so confirmations were send.
I am one of the OG followers with Reggie and Aslan. Thanks so much for sharing and being vulnerable Estee!!❤❤❤
Essie Button times!
I have loved Estee from the beginning. She is so relatable and honest. A breath of fresh air! So happy for her ❤
I don't watch much youtube these days (us old youtube fangirlies, now corporate girlies with responsibilities and no time)...i put this on on the metro back from work and found myself listening to the whole thing. Loved the energy, the insights, the messages were speaking to me...
I remember watching Estee and you like ... 10 years ago. Wow
I absolutely love this conversation. Estée is an OG CZcamsr I have followed since the beginning. These conversations need to be had in relationships. I gave my ex an ultimatum we broke up a year ago and now I am a journey to have a baby on my own 🥰💛
Why does she keep repeating this ultimatum story, girl it is not a good look...
It’s not going to end well.
@@sierrarowe5135 And it didn't it's already over!
And the wedding is definitely canceled as she’s spending tons of time away from home and deleted all her wedding content from her socials. It’s wild
@@candy2325oh man
The way she has talked about getting engaged and married is very sad. Nothing to do with him or them as a couple. It seems like getting engaged was the only goal, didn’t matter to whom
That’s exactly what I’ve been saying. To her, marriage is an accessory to flaunt. She doesn’t give a F who she marries, as long as they make her look good and do exactly what she demands. She’s a classic narcissist. It’s just harder to identify in women because we are so conditioned to identify narcissism in men.
@@Taylormayde14Sadly you are right. People can't see beyond the superficial charm & recognise a narc.
Just count the amounts of 'me' & 'I'.
Because for a lot of these youtubers, marriage and weddings are HUGE in terms of content (i.e. money). Most of them don't even have a quiet period to enjoy their engagement, they go straight to planning and creating content/vlogs about it :/ Both Estee and Grace will get a lot of freebies from companies now they're engaged.
I've watched Estee since the very beginning and have watched her grow into this incredible woman, her vulnerability and honesty is so refreshing. I have nothing but respect for her ♥
Starting off a marriage and being proposed to based off an ultimatum or basically bullying the other person to propose is so sad and not a great way to start a marriage
Right! I get second hand embarrassment when people freely admit they had to give their partner an ultimatum in order to get proposed to.
It’s just a bit sad. no grown man should essentially need to be threatened before he realises he wants to be with you. I want someone that’s excited to marry me off their own back. Saying he’s so “chill” he’d never ask is just excusing and infantilising him imo
I understand where this is coming from, but also... it feels fair, for women, to approach a conversation about marriage with "We have to get married now, or we need to break up now", the man then has the OPTION to break it off if he's not ready, or accept and get married. He's making an adult decision. If he agrees to marriage instead of breaking up the relationship, why are we treating them as victims of bullying or as if they had no say in the matter? I swear the world insists in making everything about men being "treated fairly", while women can feel on the edge for DECADES not knowing if someone will marry them or not. Everyone's relationship is different, so we should be respectful and just wish them the best, not come with cautionary tales of horror that further this idea that women should just sit quietly and patiently wait, dream, and hope that their life plans with a partner *could* eventually happen.
@@maflopez She could have proposed to him if she loves him this much and wanted to marry him :)
hmmm i think you if you look at it like she set her boundaries as this is what she wants ... he didn't have to.. he chose to ..
@@melanieemertaylor I just find it interesting you never hear men giving ultimatums to women. Why can’t men care about marriage enough to ask without being prompted? Women don’t have a special marriage gene that makes them think about it.
Idk each to their own, but I personally would never push or guide a grown adult man to marry me
I love Estee!! I’ve been following her for years. Can’t wait to dive into this episode.
Loved loved loved this talk. It felt so comforting and inspiring to hear someone talk this openly about dating someone in their 30s. I'm the same age as Estée and have been following her ever since her OG days and it's so nice to see someone public address the issues I can relate to
so well!
Thank you Grace for making this episode!!!! I’ve been following Estée since the very beginning and I was delighted to hear you both chat!! ❤ cannot wait to be able to buy Mirror Water products directly in store in France 😉
This was a lovely chat! Been watching Estee since her very first video and grew up watching her throughout my 20’s so it really feels full circle now at 29 going into my 30’s
I love Estee!! You navigated these questions so well - very personal but never intrusive. Great seeing you two coming together and having a genuine conversation about real life
Loved this episode , I've followed estee for years so its lovely have this to listen to as I get ready !
I just love Estée! One of the few CZcams OG’s that I’ll still sit and watch. I loved this episode! I knew I had to watch as I go between just listening and watching on here.
Estee is definitely worth my precious time. That’s my investment in her. Thanks for being u at all times girl. ❤❤❤❤
Oh Estee --- I've been with you since the very beginning and to see how you have grown, your life has unfolded, your brand was created -- I'm so so happy for you!!!! Thank you for your honesty. xo
Ultimatums don‘t sound healthy to me. If my partner would talk about me this way publicly I‘d be sad
Yeah me too, but seems like it works for her. Hope they've had conversations about it.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with telling someone that you want to get married and have a family. If they don’t share that, you now know where you stand and you can move on and find someone that shares those same goals
@@Kae-wo7go But do you have to go on every podcast and YT channel and talk about it? She won't say who he is to "protect" him but she says soo much candid and personal stuff, it's embarrassing, If I was his brother or sister or family remember I'd be pissed seeing this. It's private, she uses it to push her beauty brand.
The worst part is that she KEEPS talking about the ultimatum in a very public way like some kind of achievement she accomplished, it’s so sad
@@AnnieSmith103it’s power, and knowing yourself. It’s realistic.
Loved this conversation! Estée is so insightful and in touch with her feelings.
I absolutely LOVE Estee and I'm so glad that I found her on YT that many years ago. This has been a great interview to listen to.
This was such a good episode, i loved Estée’s honesty about everything ❤
I love Estee!!!! She's my favorite youtuber since 2011
Loved this so much!! You both are incredible! ❤ fav one!
What a great in depth interview❤ i have followed Estee for so long. This interview made me feel nostalgic about what the internet and CZcams were like 12 years ago so i went on her channel to look at some old videos - sadly anything older than 5 years was deleted 😢😢 but i respect that decision. Also, a lot of comments on here speak about her Engagement ultimatum as if she forced her bf to do it. She said he wanted to do it anyway, he was just slow about it. From experience i can tell how frustrating that is. Especially for a woman that wants to have children and a family. So what is actually wrong about bring intentional and clear about what you want and communicating that? Why are we always just following along for years. That breeds even more resentment and unhappiness imo.
Im so glad Estee is happy. Doesnt matter if it happen the way I or anyone else would have liked it to happen
Thank you for adopting a dog & speaking on that. ❤they are the best.
Since her fiancé already proposed, why talk about him publicly in this manner? His friends and family can easily see this.
Because she’s a selfish narcissist who has never once considered that another human might have a different timeline than her. She sees her partners as an annoyance unless they are giving her something that makes her feel like a superior being. Aka: marriage. She’s one of those women who thinks marriage is an accessory to flaunt rather than a decision between two people who want to make a life together.
@@Taylormayde14 someone needs a hug 🤗
It's interesting the "life stage" of "getting engaged". Why was that so key in it? I wonder if that statement is the big step of commitment she really wanted. Just curious of why that specifically was the important thing as opposed to "I want to be married"
It's just for content. Her whole life is centered around content.
Her relationship with him is superficial and she just wanted to tell the world she’s engaged and getting married and go off that high of being a bride to be. Unfortunately, the relationship is now over, so I hope she grows from this and keep her relationship private.
Honestly I loved this so much especially the Engagement talk, because it was so real ❤
amazing love her too much the honesty and ownership of her life is admirable 👏
Honesty? Ah yes, same honesty when she rebranded her other channel Everyday Estee into Mirror Water and started spamming 300k subs with 46 commercials for her line, gotcha!
I just love Estee! You guys are the perfect combo❤
It’s not backwards to want to get married before having children.
Well discrimination still exists and not everyone in this world can get married everywhere, yet those ppl still want to be a family and to be parents.
What I appreciated so much about this interview was the flow of the questions, answers and the general “getting each other’s” personal experiences. Grace, I could be you grandmother telling you this… I think you could interview the likes of King Charles or Camilla and people would say that they got so much more out of the the content of their answers & experiences than ever before. You are just superb and Graces’ openness is communicated in such a refreshing way. ❤️
This was great! Thanks for sharing!
People are saying about “marriage/proposal ultimatums” from the woman (whoever it might be), but ALSO, the guy (whoever might be) is a grown man that can simply not propose because he doesn’t want to get married at that time and/or that person …
He didn't want his relationship to end, to avoid a breakup he proposed. Saying "no" wouldn't be that simple.
@@Freya-uv3sk I mean in this case (Estee and her fiancé) we don’t know the specifics lol but it’s a valid point. Selfish behavior, but it’s the nature of us …
@@mariaeugeniamartinsNo it's not!! We are not all naturally selfish. I try everyday to put my time & energy into helping animals & insects. I refuse to become another self-serving human.
Ohh this made me as a listener feel good too!
Love her, I hope she is and will be happy! ❤
Loved this so much!
Love Estee! She’s so real with her thoughts and opinions. 👏🏽
I find it very interesting that Estee approaches marriage as something happening to and for HER, rather than something two people get together and decide as a couple. She doesn’t see it as an equal partnership, two people wanting to be together because they love each other. No, she sees marriage as something she is entitled to be given. “If you don’t propose exactly when I want you to, I’m leaving.” She never once had a loving conversation with her partner about what they want and what their timeline might be. Everything is on her timeline, and if someone’s timeline looks slightly different, she runs away and leaves them in the dust.
That’s honestly so sad for her. She’s never going to be truly happy. She’s always going to view marriage as transactional. She’s completely lost in the influencer sauce. She had a wonderful relationship, home, and family with someone and she threw it all in the trash because she didn’t get a ring. That’s capitalistic brainwashing successfully making her think a relationship is worth nothing if a ring isn’t involved.
Her engagement was the least romantic and loving event I’ve ever witnessed. The way she spoke about it in her engagement vlog made me feel queasy. She had absolutely zero emotion about the person she was marrying, she was just happy to finally show off a ring. This is going to end very badly, because she is going into this with the wrong intentions. Big yikes.
Absolutely!!!!!
She lost any depth she once had.
She's so used to the Estee Show she can't recognise anyone's needs. Influencing breeds narcissism.
I’m hearing the wedding may be off
Saving this to watch properly! Love estee ❤
Been watching since the Essie Button days 🤩 look how far you’ve come ❤
I was dating someone for 14years I met him in college at 23 years old we were so in love we lived in different cities so we visited each other on weekends when college ended I went back home and it went like that for years after 5yeard of dating I started to get frustrated because I wanted to move on with my life he kept saying he wanted to marry eventually.Long story short I told him I wanted to get engaged in hindsight I don’t think he really wanted too but he proposed but it didn’t feel right to me I said yes anyway ,9 more years passed I lost total respect for him and for myself to have waited so long for him I left him I didn’t even cry I wanted it all to be over he took the best years of my life and at 36 it was hard to find someone so I never got married or had children so I understand how it is .Wishing you the best Estee
It’s not over for you.
I wish you the best! I hope you find love ❤
Love this! Xx
If my child wanted to move across the world for a guy they met online, I'd make them binge watch all the true crime YT videos I could find
Omg love this! Please have Amelia Liana next 🥰
omg my two faves !!!
Estee needs her own podcast ugh I love her sm! Her voice is so gentle but firm and as a Leo myself I get everything she’s saying haha. So excited for her lil babies and wedding. I think effy will love having her lil siblings. Many blessings 🤍
Sorry but host talking too much. It's about the guest.
They are both competing for the attention.
I think what Estee means about the "ultimatum" (which honestly could just be poor word choice), is that she's always known that marriage and a life partner is her goal when it comes to dating. It's not to date casually here and there and "seeing if it turns into something else". No, it's always been marriage. To me, it's only an ultimatum if it's one sided which I don't think her relationship is. To me, what she's saying is, "hey, i love you and i know you love me too and if we agree that marriage is where this is heading, then what's holding you back from proposing? Because if it's not marriage (i.e. life partner), then please let me have my peace so I can spend my energy finding someone else who also wants the same thing I want."
And I respect Estee for setting that boundary for herself.
Everyone's relationship goals are so different. Even if a woman who is with her partner of 5, 10, 20 years and they never married, as long as it's what she wants, then that's ok. But so many women are in the opposite scenario. We are the ones that stay in relationships (be it 10 years or 10 weeks) waiting for the man to "wake up" and realize "you're the one" when in reality, they just wake up and move onto someone else and we are the ones left to pick up the pieces.
Love listening to this but the humming in the back of the audio makes it really hard to listen to. Just a heads up!
We love Estee! 🥰
I totally get Estee wanting to get married, and I even get her demanding to know if her man is going to propose, but sharing all of this with the world is a huuuge mistake and an absolute embarrassment to him. Embarrassing your husband in front of the world makes me wonder if she even knows about men. She won’t share his name or info bc it’s a sacred relationship, but then she totally dumps on him. Makes zero sense.
Love Estee!!!
Girl it does not sound like you love him.
The wedding is called off too, which is wild.
@@candy2325wait, since when?
After watching this it made me think, if a man wanted to, he would off his own back. Also i think a lot of women give so much of themselves and then want a proposal. Maybe if you didn't live together or held back some milestones until after you were married, it would make it more special and men would be inclined to commit for good
Great interview! I love Estee
I’m sorry but I truly don’t believe this women and wow how passive aggressive I find her………..
same. I watched her years ago and I am really surprised at what I am seeing/hearing here. She's so unlikable now! ICK!
What a gift to all of us!
Love this!
Great interview, made me wonder if Estee has a Pisces moon.
Each to their own but I cannot help but think there will definitely be some resentment felt in the future, either by her or him.
I have been with my "hubby" 28 years and we are not married. We have 2 adult sons, a mortgage and that's always been enough for me.
Rushing someone up the aisle just feels so desperate/needy and not exactly romantic.
She can dress it up as some kind of empowerment move but you gave him an ultimatum, either marriage or go.
Sorry Estee but no one should be dealing in absolutes.
She wanted a wedding and not a marriage. Your life sounds great btw :)
Yiiiks. My everything, My life,My passion,My world and My sunshine. Your Dog! Not your husband to be! Another heartbreak in the making. Typical career first woman gona crash and burn..
She is just THE BEST ❤❤❤
Great learning more about Estee but the interviewer looks bored and uninterested most of the time which was really off putting.
Love Estee and love her honesty ❤✨
The host please calm down pause...
This is the most boring podcast episode I’ve ever heard. I think estee has a lot more to say, but grace’s interview skills are really not it… no depth at all.. blend..
She could definitely relax into it more & let the guest have a longer runway to expand on their ideas without interjecting with a personal anecdote. The personal anecdotes don’t add too much in interview format.
“Congratulations to him, he gets to marry me” 😂🎉
Ultimatums are not a good thing☹️. I don’t think many healthy marriages start that way.
But a lot of relationships that weren't meant to be surely end that way.
This sounds a little bit like Model Recomends in that she never shows her husband in her videos
No offence but she is just not interesting enough.
Love Estee. Host is talking too much. It’s not about you, it’s about the guest.
I'm down with no longer being chill, chill is SO 2008
Uff estee..
Don't share your relationship, Estee.
OMG! The Western woman, "being engaged, getting married, not important" and "having children inside of marriage, backward" backward???? The lack of morals, dignity, self-respect, and self-preservation is seriously worrying and backward.
And thank you for being my therapy session! Love you girls! 🏩🤟❤🔥
Esteé is giving Paulette “I’m taking the dog, dumbass!” energy From Legally Blonde 😂 🩷
So happy for Estee been following her ever since 🥹🩷
Obsessed with everything Estee!!! Been watching since essiebutton 🤍
Gosh Ive been watching Estee since the beginning and she's still someone I consistently watch on YT. I'm so so happy for her. I just am so thrilled that she's built the life she wants. 🩷
Essiebutton 🫶🏼 have followed you since probably 2011? 2010? Fabulous to hear your story so full circle 🫶🏼