89 | What Happens When The Narcissist's Backburners Are Their Friends and Family Members?
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- This podcast is a follow up Q&A to the previous one in which I answer some burning questions about the narcissist's backburners.
This episode is packed with a lot of information you don’t want to miss! It is the last podcast in the narc man child series. It is another long one, but you'll get the answers and closure you need from this subject to be able to move on with your lives and heal.
Please note this podcast has a trigger warning
Don’t forget to like the podcast if it helped you and kindly share it with others who would benefit from it.
If you'd like more details about this subject and more information about similar issues, subscribe to the channel for more podcasts. You can also check out my book 'The Muslim Narcissist' that provides 522 pages of education, counselling and guidance for everyone 📖
You can order your copy today from Amazon, World of Books, Awesome Books, Waterstones, Indigo and Barnes & Noble 😃 ✨
This self-help book is the perfect gift for anyone who is suffering from their own narcissism or is a victim of a Muslim narcissist(s) who is using misinterpreted Islamic teachings to inflict harm on others. This book will help you to understand yourself, your spouses, family members and people in general.
I offer 1-1 counselling and coaching and group coaching for whoever needs it, please visit my website www.themuslimnarcissist.com/counsellingandcoaching for more information.
author@themuslimnarcissist.com
Dr. Mona, if we as empaths are God's gift to a narcissist in our life... you are a gift to all of us...narcissists and victims. Everyone that gets to meet you oder have you in their life is blessed. May Allah reward you with every good thing in this world and the next.❤
That's very kind of you to say, jazaki Allah khair I'm glad you find my work helpful x
OMG this was long but I loved and cherish every minute of it! How can we ever repay you Dr. Mona? We leave that to Allah azzawajal. Jazakillahu khairan katheeran. I am Coming from divorcing a man child who hates her mom and almost got remarried to one who was a mama’s boy. He was looking for a personal maid for his mom. I ran the other way. I am so much stronger and happier now. Single happy and confident. No settling here. The pressures of singleness I embrace with Sabr. Allah given so many other favors Alhamdulillah. I still want to go through life with a companion who is kind, sincere and loving. 🤲🏽❤
It's my pleasure to record these for you all x
With each podcast, I learn more and more and I see people for what they really are now.
I’m so grateful to have you Mona and to listen to your podcasts I wished I heard about you when I was a teenager 😭
This came out at the right time for me. Subhan’allah. Your content continues to teach me so much and I’m feeling more and more empowered after each podcast 🖤
Alhamdulilah :)
This one was so good. I love it bring on more 😂
Subhanallah this Podcast opened my eyes for the things which are going on in the family of my ex husband. Generally the Podcast on this channel helped me to see everything i m in and to leave the toxic relationship i was in alhamdulillah
Why do these podcast about the manchild hurt so much , I really needed to pause it cause it brought so much memories. I feel really sorry for my ex narc because I know the person behind his mask is not the abusive/agressive/manipulative person he showed to be.
If it makes senceWallahi it hurts so much that you can just see shaytaan taking them over and them to self destruct the love they ever wanted and help they ever needed. Its Just so sad..
like you see a little kid hungry in the streets surrounded by wolves, in need of a loving family warm home and a warm meal, and then they just staight up refuse it when you offer them even more than this..
May الله heal us and place comfort in our hearts by accepting how things went. Call me crazy but truly feels like loosing a child or a dear loved one (even when you know that they caused you so much pain) you just cant hate them 100% ..
Btw, you really make me laugh 😭😂 I love you for the sake of الله you’re a beautiful soul sister Mona
Thank you for your comment my dear sister, I'm glad my work helps you alhamdulilah and that you enjoy it :)
In regards to this line: "I feel really sorry for my ex narc because I know the person behind his mask is not the abusive/agressive/manipulative person he showed to be." - I'd like to kindly correct you here. That is the person he was. Unless someone has drastically changed in 24 hours from a horrid episode of black magic, people are who they show you they are. It is us who choose to be in denial of what we see. Please don't make excuses for people's horrid behaviour, if a bad character is that is what they've shown to you over a period of time.
We feel sorry for them, because of their unfortunate childhood and upbringing, but they choose to be this way and not work on themselves. It is not our job to fix them. It is an inside job. They will resent you later for trying to fix them, as it highlights their incapability to do it on their own and makes them feel stupid and weak.
And yes, it does feel like you lost a child, because you were this man's mummy for far too long! x
I feel like losing a child too after I walked away from the marriage. I knew when I was with him that I was the only person in his family who loved him. His parents and sister just used him and controlled him. The fact that he won't have anybody to love him if I left made me stick with him for nearly 5 years and now I really regret that marriage lasted for more than five years. I should have left much earlier. The possibility of change in him also made me stay in that marriage. And this feeling of losing a child is so horrible.
@@tamilanban5970❤❤❤❤ In my 5th year, I had to sever all I had built with him. Yes, it hurts as we see the crushed, abused and manipulated child by his own bio family. But we must remember for whatever reason some do not have the courage to heal. Instead they destroy and no not me! Ya Allah ❤
An absolutely incredible podcast Allahumma Barik, you never fail to impress us Dr.Mona. You make healing so much easier alhamdulelah 💓 may Allah s.w.t bless your beautiful soul in both lifetimes immensely ameen 🌷🌷
I have 3 questions if you could answer when you have time? First of all does the man child betray the backburner like he betrays the empath? Second, when does their relationship fall apart? And third why does he leave a good situation when he loves the empath but chooses to listen to his flying monkeys?
Jhazakullahu khairan 🌷
@@Rana-Abbas79 Ameen jazaki Allah khair, wiyaki, I’m glad you liked it :)
The answer to the first question is yes, when she majorly messes up (betrays him or does something to seriously upset him).
Otherwise no, because he's terrified of her. As a narc woman she will have a special kind of psychotic crazy that he doesn't want to tap into if he does something like that to her.
It is the type of crazy that would make her burn his car and kill his cat.
She controls him to the max and that's why you don't hear from him when he's with her, because she's always obsessively checking his phone, as she doesn't trust him. This is why these men end up being super miserable with the backburner and feel really suffocated.
The answer to the 2nd question is, it usually goes wrong when he starts to see her for who she truly is. The longer he stays with her the more of her toxic side he will see. They will mirror eachother. She may also see that he misses you, or see a message he’s written to send you or unblocked you and it causes them to have major fights. Someone may also tell her that he’s been asking about you. So it quickly escalates from there, and she may betray him first to punish him and protect her ego and before you know it, it’s over. He will absolutely despise her and she will get sick of his moods and moping and brutally abandon him when he doesn’t expect it.
And the answer to the 3rd question is, he feels bad later because you may have warned him about his toxic family, friends and exes and he didn’t listen or got upset with you for speaking about them that way. He believed their poor judgment and opinions about you instead, because they were selling him a better dream at the same time that was more exciting and convenient. He will know then that he lost a golden chance of having true love with the empath and that the backburners on a satanic mission never really loved him. They just didn’t want to see him do well because they wanted the control over him and his life as he’s easily manipulated, which makes him excellent supply for them.
I tell people to try and let this traumatic experience go because Allah will ensure justice happens for you. You can’t play with His people like this and think you can get away with it.
Hope that helps x
The narc husband also puts the wife down in front of his narc mother and sister in order to please them.
@@Sunrisetosunset217 yes they do to make the backburners feel better
The best thing to do is to pray for for these people🙏
Astaghfirullah, this podcast has some Disneyland peeps in here A'oodhuBillah goodness I am speechless the pink dress part oh no that is just one of many but there are some real freaky Qareens out there Wow!! Only Allah can save us period. Other than that another beautiful podcast very deep very insightful very detailed Alghumdoelillah Shukr Doctor May Allah be so pleased with you Allahumma Ameen.
@@user-mv8zv1sl2w Ameen jazak Allah khair I’m glad you liked it ✨
MashaAllah I enjoy your podcasts so much. You have the best topics too.Alhmedallah really appreciate .jazaky Allah khair.
@@Sunrisetosunset217 I’m glad ♥️☺️ alhamdulilah and you’re most welcome x
Amazing podcast❤
Dr. Mona sorry just 1 last question. Is it true that the man child waits for you to contact him and that’s why you don’t hear from him?
@@Rana-Abbas79 yes they hope you miss them and reach out, because they have no face to contact you. They can wait for years if they have to, because it’s much easier on their ego than facing a brutal rejection. They get shocked and very disappointed that you, the person who once adored them, want nothing to do with them and it makes them feel even worse about themselves and they know they are well and truly stuck in the narc swamp and you aren’t coming to rescue them again. At the same time they respect you when you don’t reach out as they know you deserve better.
Why does it sound like this person is asking questions that sound like an revenge attack plan , first they want to know what happens for them to split , they wanna know if they will split then if she should contact him instead of waiting for him to contact her 😂. Sorry sis your questions sound like questions you would ask because your planning an attack or a move on the man child in his new relationship . Let them be . Allah swt will send you what you deserve
😂😂😂😂 why are you calling my Mrs. You too cute Allahu'Akbar no bass in the voice 😂😂😂😂
Assalamu alaikum dr Mona!
May Allaah reward you intensely for all your content and helping us in need❤️
I have a question if you don’t mind
I am struggling to understand if im an empath/codependent.
And if the podcast about the empath apply to me or not.
As I have read in your book, all the traits of empath I can find in myself. Even when liatening to your podcast i can relate with 99% of the series about empath/manchild.
I can feel people’s happiness/pain intensely. I love to be alone most of the time or with small circle of loved ones. I don’t like being in centre of attention. And I don’t seek marriage to get something out of it besides love and the love of Allah:so not beauty or prais /money etc
I also have strong boundaries with my husband so I don’t let him abuse me.
However. I struggle with leaving my narc/manchild. This marriage is so intense
The reason I ask myself if I am codependent is:
I am married now les then 1 year. And I have asked my narc husband for a divorce 1 time, but I went back to him. And I heard you saying empaths never go back.
Or try to hoover the narc. But I see that’s what happend to me. As if I am hoovering myself. / accepting the reverse hoover
Salaam my dear sister thank you for your question. You will be an empath for sure, but you're very strongly emotionally attached to him. He would be giving you something you haven't had before and you're holding on to that, which is activating your codependency. I don't know your case to comment properly (please book 1-1 if you need help), but that's usually the reason. High level empaths don't tolerate abuse at all and their dignity overpowers the love they have for someone, no matter how painful it is to leave, they don't allow themselves to be treated badly and for no good reason. The most powerful people are able to walk away from someone they love, if they don't feel valued or appreciated.
@@themuslimnarcissistbook jazaki Allahu khair for your comment.
The thing that keeps me with him is his soft side. At first he was VERY hard he didn’t like to be hugged kissed touched. He didn’t like me being lovable with him. Even with my kids he is such a loving person. Their father left them. And he is so kind and caring with them he always plays with them teaches them about islaam, buys them toys cuddles them. If they want to sleep with us he is the one who says yes come sleep with us. In the beginning of out marriage he was vert hard with the kids. But subhanAllah I could see a drastic change after some time.
At this moment 1/1 seasions are a bit out of my budget but in the future insha Allah I will def book one with you🌷
@@Ahlampjexoxo then yes you’re attached to his good side, which is normal, but if there is abuse you can’t ignore that. He’s good with kids because he’s a kid inside himself x
JazakAllah khair dear Dr Mona. May Allah reward you for the comfort and healing you are providing us all. Ameen
The closure😞😞😞 i think i really need to let go of the hope im holding into..thank you doc mona for the closure podcast about the manchild.
May Allah protect you and preserve you
Hello, I hope you are well. I have a bit of catching-up to do on all the recent content including today's. Your channel has been shared onto my X account which has a lot of followers too. I hope it is okay without me seeking permission first. The intention of so many Others can benefit from the wonderful content. Best.
@@suhailmohmed661 that’s fine ofcourse many thanks!
Salam sister can you can do an episode the difference between having black magic done vs being a narc. Why because my current spouse has narc traits BUT his mom also delves into cult/ black magic stuff, he has mentioned that in past when his brother had girlfriends his mom didn’t like she would do stuff to separate them.
Wsalaam please listen to podcast 29
😂😂😂😂😂 i know some mother in laws are jealous of their daughter in law never heard 😂😂 the mother in law getting ill because her son called her on the phone telling her how the cookies was and now the mother in law looking at cookies tutorials 😂😂😂😂 i know theres horrible mil out there they want their son to get divorce because they are jls of hes wife, hes the golden child 😂😂😂
@@hussainsharmin661 No DIDDY 😂 😂😂😂
@@Baby_mercedes86 yes
Alhamdullilah you describe every husband I ever had .. I did 5 nikkah 😢but consummated only 2 nikkah and met only 4 of my ex in person . I'm 😊just going celibate now . I think I don't have the energy to try again . Everyone of my five nikkah was mummy's boys the last one the baby boy of 5 older sisters who he told me outright that they don't want Him to come back to my country after he went home 2 days after our nikka.
What are the symptoms of aashiq jinn
podcast 30