The Truth About Why I Quit Alcohol | 4 YEARS SOBER
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- čas přidán 5. 06. 2024
- Today I'm sharing my journey with alcohol and what drove me to actually quit. Sharing this ahead of 'dry July' in the hope that those of you who are dealing with similar drink issues will feel encouraged. Check out my sponsor betterhelp.com/murphy for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp, you'll get matched with a therapist who will listen and will help you!
As mentioned in the video (topics worth covering in therapy)...
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS info (quick read) www.simplypsychology.org/tran...
Also: www.psychologytoday.com/ie/bl...
SHADOW WORK intro / info: www.psychologytoday.com/ie/bl...
After this video you might want to check out:
- six months sober update (& the pros and cons of quitting alcohol) • six months sober ~ pro...
- 15 months sober update (& tips to cut back on alcohol or to quit drinking entirely!) • 15 months SOBER update...
- alcohol-free update: my THIRD sober Christmas • alcohol-free update (m...
► Join me on INSTAGRAM where I update often between CZcams videos: melaniiemurphy...
Well ... this is terrifying. I've not been scared to press 'upload' in what feels like ... years!? BLERGHHHH BEING VULNERABLE IS BLERGHHHH. But every time I open up I receive the most incredible messages and comments from people who LITERALLY change their actions for the better and it makes the terror worth it. So worth it. If you're going through this, I SEE YOU
💚
I see you too
ER...... The Irish Have A Physical Dependence On Ethanol ??? (Is It A Genetic Thing ???) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well done Mel! You should be so proud of your openness and bravery. ❤️
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable. This is scary and I commend your journey. Good job girl ❤
2 years of no alcohol today. Without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. 🙂👍🏻
Whenever someone breaks free from the trap of alcohol, the world gets a little bit brighter. 🌞
In the USA, alcohol culture (and drug culture in general) is holding us back. If we were to stop drinking ourselves into oblivion, just think of what we could accomplish.
I agree. I have seen it make people stupid! 😂
In today's culture, the glorification of alcohol and substance abuse can be observed through various mediums and societal norms. Here are some ways in which our culture tends to glorify these behaviors:
Media Influence:
Movies, television shows, and music often portray excessive alcohol consumption and substance abuse as glamorous and exciting. Characters who engage in these behaviors are often depicted as rebellious, adventurous, or even sophisticated. This portrayal can subconsciously influence viewers, normalizing and romanticizing harmful drinking and drug use.
Social Media and Influencers:
Social media platforms are filled with posts and images that showcase alcohol as an integral part of socializing, celebrations, and self-expression. Influencers and celebrities often endorse alcohol brands, making it appear trendy and desirable. This online presence can create a pervasive "party culture" that may influence individuals, especially the younger demographic, to engage in excessive drinking or substance use to fit in or gain acceptance.
Peer Pressure and Social Norms:
Within social circles, there is often an expectation to participate in alcohol-related activities. Peer pressure can play a significant role, as individuals may feel compelled to drink excessively or experiment with substances to conform to societal norms or to be seen as part of the "in" crowd. This pressure can be particularly impactful on young adults who are navigating their identities and seeking acceptance.
Marketing Strategies:
Alcohol and beverage companies invest heavily in marketing campaigns that associate their products with desirable lifestyles, success, and social acceptance. These strategies can include visually appealing advertisements, celebrity endorsements, and event sponsorships. Such tactics create an image of alcohol as an essential element of a fun and fulfilling life, contributing to its glorification in our culture.
Limited Awareness of Consequences:
Society often downplays or ignores the negative consequences of alcohol and substance abuse. This lack of awareness can lead to a normalization of harmful behaviors and an underestimation of the potential risks associated with excessive consumption. The focus on the immediate gratification and pleasure derived from alcohol and substance use often overshadows the long-term physical, mental, and social consequences.
It is essential to recognize and critically examine these influences within our culture. By raising awareness and promoting conversations around responsible drinking, substance abuse prevention, and the potential harms associated with excessive consumption, we can work towards creating a healthier and more informed society.
Good for you that you gave up when you still can or it would be worst if you had continue, it's the devil way to steal, kill and destroy anyone who's vulnerable and praying that you will stay safe and strong
i think if we talked about trauma more, we could escape the cycles of addiction. also, societal changes. letting go of the ‘hustle culture’ mentality, 5 day work-weeks, & unjust pay, would alleviate lots of stress too.
For the British and Irish it’s literally seen as part of their culture. They start drinking young. It’s literally some sort of culture to go straight to the bar to have a drink after work. The folks over there are known around the world to be terrible / drunk tourists. It’s not the same. They literally are stereotyped and known for their drinking habits.
I've never been one to drink because of my mother. Your story sounds similar to hers but she never really quit. Thank you for doing what my mother couldn't. Your kids will never know the pain that I experienced and I hope they never have to understand the gratitude your family, friends, and followers like me have towards you. They will see a mom that cares more about herself and her family, no matter how difficult it may be, and that is a gift not all of us were able to receive. Congradulations on 4 years sober! Thats a HUGE accomplishment and I hope you are very proud of yourself!
Alcohol addiction actually destroyed my life for over 26 years. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Hey! Yes very sure of Dr.benshrooms. a single dose of shrooms saved me from Alcohol addiction. 6 years clean. no cravings. this doesn't sound weird to me in any way shape or form.
I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice!
Yes he's Dr.benshrooms.Lsd and psilocybin are amazing teachers along its dmt mah dudes have safe trips all. Shrooms are blessings from nature.
I congratulate you for getting sober while you're young. I wish I could go back in time and unhurt all the people I hurt. 12 years sober now. I hate the memory of who I was then.
One day I woke up wanting to die, full of shame and regret after a night of drinking once again. That same day I found your 'six months sober' video and it made me feel like I wasn't the only one struggling with this. It's been over two years without a drink and I'm happier than I've ever been. Thank you so much for having the courage to be this vulnerable! You have no idea of how many lives you've changed. Cheers from Argentina.
Congratulations Melanie 💚💚 i remember the time you quit and i can't believe it's been 4 years that's a huge accomplishment.
I've been a person I didn't recognize while drinking, and I had some similarly horrifying moments where I had to really come to grips with the idea that "If this continues much longer it's not going to be out of character for me anymore... and I don't like that character I'm playing here.," and since then I've dramatically decreased my drinking to almost nothing, maybe a drink in 6 months. I honestly feel so much better all around.
Good for you. I think many of us alcoholics wrestle with the idea of being able to have one “every once in awhile”, but find that it is too difficult to stick to just one. I applaud you for that!
when you started describing different bad incidents that happened when you were drunk, it reminded me that we actually so often hear these stories but in the guise of a mad laugh story. People get so much validation in Ireland for their mad drinking stories. It is a vicious cycle that people perpetuate. They hear other peoples stories, its normalised, the madder the story the more popular the person and they want to be recognised and laughed with (at?) as well. Ireland's drinking culture is so beyond fucked up. It's terrifying.
Canada too
I relate so much to your story. Especially with the blacking out from trying to keep up with my partner (who is literally twice the size of me), and I would say and do absolutely crazy things, wanting to unalive myself. We would have massive rows. I decided to try and get sober (it’s a journey ugh). He doesn’t want to and unfortunately we are basically broken up now. He doesn’t think it was the drinking, just that I acted “crazy” on occasion, and would bring up those occasions often, but I know I wouldn’t act that way if sober. I think he just is scared and doesn’t want to see a problem with drinking (mine or his as he also acts out drunk) so would prefer to pretend it’s just me.
I feel like I’m taking responsibility for it by being sober, but I think he just doesn’t want to admit what alcohol can do to people. So I guess we are moving apart.
So thank you for sharing your story, you make me feel so much more normal, and give me hope for my future ❤
When I decided to quit drinking I went in search of people on CZcams that quit for the reasons I did. I found one. You. I watched your videos about drinking often as I needed initial support. 18 months later I don't even think about it and it's the best decision I ever made. Thank you for being there. I'll share my own story when I am ready. It takes time to process and we don't often know ourselves as well as we think and I am still learning.
This was so moving. Thank you for the vulnerability. You sounded so nervous and it just even further emphasized how much that life-style hurt and embarrassed you.
My own experiences with alcohol are beyond awful. It started with my dad, getting drunk and pacing atound and yelling all the things he couldn't say to people at work, for hours at night. I was 5 or 7 the first time he called me downstairs to smell his breath to see if i could smell the alcohol - which i had no idea what it was so why he thought id be able to answer the question?? Then hed ask me if he was slurring his words. Also had no fking idea what that meant. He'd be speaking very slowly and over emphasized to compensate so in hindsight yeah, it was very obvious. But back then i had no idea. I was scared by his yellow, scared by the questions, and scared by how long the whole process would last before he went to bed. Hours, usually. I tried to play therapist to him on those nights, to try and stop him from feeling so angry and sad, because he was my dad. I didnt want my dad to be obviously feeling so negative. Id be trying to keep my younger brother from coming down, or hearing what was going on. I got told i was so helpful after spending hours trying to fix this problem i didnt understand, only to have to start over again the nexr night.
My first significant relationship was 13 years long. He was an alcoholic years before i met him, started at 13. In his area of Louisiana, thats normal. It never stopped. The abuse during that 13 years went from mild to extreme. And the pressure to drink with him so he wasnt drinking alone, was intense. I didnt give in until i thought, what if i drank and acted towards him how he acts towards me? Hes not listening when i tell him anymore. Maybe if he sees it from the other side, he will understand.
Terrible idea. Absolutely did not work. I spent several years feeling constantly sick and even more unloved. Even the smell of walking in a liquor store now triggers my gag reflex.
My current relationship, and father to my child, limits himself to 1-2 drinks in a night, a few times a year. He asks me first if I'm ok. Theres been times where i am and say yes, and times where i wasnt and said no. Hes always respected my answer and never been upset. He doesn't change how he acts after a drink. He doesn't drink while our child is awake. He never pressures me to drink. For the first time ever in my life, alcohol isnt the goal for the adult i live with. Its never used against me. It doesn't disturb my peace. Money in our tight budget isnt spent on alcohol instead of bills or food. Im never in a moving vehicle with an angry drunk driver. Ive cried so many times, from the sheer relief of it all.
I dont think alcohol is the problem, any more than i think guns or cars are the problem. The problem is the people using objects as an excuse for bad behavior and believing that automatically justifies their selfish, abusive, angry sides, instead of trying to fix those parts of them. But i cant stress enough how much of life alcohol has damaged, or how much safer and happier i am without it in my life.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this. ❤️
@Melanie Murphy you're so very welcome. It's still hard talking about all those years, but it's talking honestly about the hard things that makes us grow as people, and as a collective society. Not speaking out about the negative effects of bad behaviors is how problematic beliefs and decisions carry on generation to generation.
Alcoholic parents almost always seem to think their drinking isn't affecting their family, or friends. It absolutely does. To this day, in his late 70s, my dad is convinced that his drinking isn't a bad thing, and it only affects him.
The reality is it destroyed his relationships with his wife and both of us kids, almost 30 years ago. It's had terrible affects on his health, even now. My mom still works because he immediately refused to the minute he was old enough for social security. She's almost 70. She pays all the bills. She works 40+ hours a week, and then has to physically take care of him because he refuses to be bothered. It's a normal thing for her to find him laying on the floor somewhere, with blood everywhere, because he fell while drunk and busted his nose, and can't figure out how to get up, because he's still that drunk. I've gotten multiple pictures of him bloody with black eyes because he fell on his face. He yells at her that she's not helping him get up when she's doing everything she physically can and he refuses to help. Or yells because he doesn't want to get up yet and she's nagging him. He's demolished multiple cars. He's been fired from almost every job ever. He doesn't see his only grandchild for more than 10 minutes because we don't know when the next break from reality will be. It's awful.
It's so so important that you realized it was a problem before having kids. You're blessing them a million times over. Kids don't recover from Alcoholic abusive parents. It changes you for life.
So proud of you! The “drinking with all guys so then you end up drinking more than your body can handle” and the “things coming out explosively when you’re drunk because you’re suppressing your feelings about them when you’re sober” parts really spoke to me. I haven’t quit drinking, but I have a much better relationship with it now. And more than anything, I’ve made changes in my life so that I’m not repressing things in the first place. I’ve followed you for years now and it’s always so helpful to hear people share their stories and experiences. Thank you for being vulnerable on the internet, it can’t be easy but it helps so many of us feel less alone in the world and in our own journeys!
I live in Newfoundland, Canada and it has a very Irish history and the drinking "culture" that comes with it is no joke. Just rampant alcoholism. I've struggled with this for years and like you, I've chosen my future self and my little family over "fun". The fun wasn't always fun, but it was almost always a persona I put on to feel interesting and cool. I also would let my jealousy or horrid feelings bubble to the surface. It would turn me into a menace. I would say and do things that sober me could not imagine doing. It is scary to be in it. You could not pay me to go back to my 20's and re-live it. I'm glad you briefly mentioned shadow work because I've found it so helpful as well. You can run and run but eventually, you will catch up to yourself. This video spoke to me on such a deep level. I never comment on anything but I felt compelled to say thank you for this video. Thank you for being open and so vulnerable. I imagine it cannot be easy to pour your heart out online. Your presence on here is breath of fresh air and I appreciate your content, especially these last few years. Much love from Newfoundland, CA.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am sure your husband and kids are super proud of you, I know I am!! Look at you now, I have been watching you for years and you've grown so much, you're building your dream life. I'm so happy for you Melanie 💚
😭😭😭😭💚💚💚💚
Gorgeous
Your openness is amazing. Not many people would reveal their darkest moments in a public forum. I’m doing 100 days of no booze as an experiment. Over half way through.. there are so many great alternatives out there and even though it’s only a relatively short period of time, I don’t miss it at all yet.
I realized I had a problem with alcohol two months ago when I noticed I was using it to cope with stress, even as it was causing me health issues. I’m two months sober today and it’s the best thing I’ve done. It’s definitely hard to deal with feeling interrogated at times about why I’m not drinking but I feel so much better and I feel like I’m starting to trust myself (in the sense that I will look out for myself).
Thank you for posting this! I’ve been sober for two years now and I needed this reminder of why it was so bad. Sometimes I think it didn’t affect me that much… but yeah it does
I'm lifelong sober. I have always viewed alcohol as a literal poison and why anyone would want to consciously make the effort to poison themselves absolutely baffles me.
I have nothing against those who do drink, it's a choice we can all make as adults but it has always greatly confused me as to why so many people make the choice to literally poison themselves and damage their bodies and organs X
I think it helps people to feel connected in a world full of disconnection…I know many people who only EVER open up (even a tiny bit!) when drunk. Otherwise they are only capable of small talk. It’s sad! 💔 But I get why many people feel they need it. Connection is everything x
Thank you for this. I had a situation where I was so drunk I falling asleep and was given a tablet which my sleepy mind recognised as my nighttime medication 🫠🙃 It interacted with my mental health meds and I went into what you described as “psychosis” , I remember NOTHING from there on and I am forever mortified of how I acted that night. I was a guest at a party. I can’t look anyone from that party in the eye whenever we cross paths.
I have also experienced psychosis which haunts me to this day. I am mortified thinking about how I was in that moment. X
I so appreciate you vulnerabiity with us. It's incredibly refreshing. 🙌🏽🙏🏽
How fucking cool that your kids get to grow up with such a brave mother who can teach them so much about standing up for yourself and recognising that being kind to yourself can be scary at first, but it is ultimately so worth it. And for them to have a dad who was willing to give you support and time to come to terms with your relationship with alcohol. Kudos to you both.
I came across this video as I was typing “how to get sober “. I’m really struggling with this for the past 10 years & I can’t believe I let it go for so long but I’m so tired of putting my self in situations I don’t want to be in. I’m scared, anxious & feel lost but all I know is I don’t want to feel so embarrassed anymore of how I acted & what did I say & im just extremely tired of being tired of this rout. Thank you for sharing your story. It really helped me get through today to not drink.
💚💚💚 I teared up reading this. You are not alone. So many of us have felt this exact way you describe, I am living proof there’s a way out of it xxxxx
I love how you describe the interplay of alcohol and emotions/past trauma - so important!
I am currently pregnant and I am considering never drinking again. I never had a "rock bottom" moment but I see so much of myself in your story. Mostly, I say things when drinking that I would never say otherwise that I am embarrassed by later or I black out and remember things in pieces. It is just an icky feeling and even though I love drinking, truly it is such a comfort to sit down after a long day with a glass of wine!! I don't think it is worth how I behave when I go too far. This is good inspiration. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing 💚
I’ve just come across this video. I’m on day 1,382 with my four year anniversary being 14th December. We are all different,but I can relate to what to what you say. I was a happy drunk doing 150 units of alcohol a week to help me forget the abuse (uncontrollable beatings) I received from my mother as a child (she was not a happy drunk or sober as I remember).My relationship enveloped to me drinking for its effect,pure and simple.It’s an effective tool.
I’m also a MS sufferer of 27 years, so it was my coping mechanism to how bad the life had handed. I have done what I’ve achieved purely by myself and by my will. I learnt to forgive my mother for cruelty before she passed, as part of my sobriety and have managed to keep moving forward.
I know I can never go back to it, or every single moment successfully beating it ,will be for nothing. Alcohol is the world’s accepted poison.
To see your video today, confirms the choice and path chosen, is the right one. I wish you all the very best on your journey.
I've been so curious about your story! Thanks for being brave enough to post this ❤️
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us
I went sober for a few reasons. The biggest one is that it triggers migraines for me now. The other reasons are for health benefits (especially better mental health) and to feel safer. I miss the relaxed feeling it gave me, as it relieved me of my anxiety. Now I enjoy mocktails, smoothies, and teas instead. The benefits of being sober outweigh what I miss from alcohol, so it's completely worth it.
I've been watching your videos since 2015 ish.
Please do share more about transactional analysis and shadow work. Very relatable issues. Lots of love to you Melanie ❤
This video is truly amazing, I had a lump in my throat watching you open up in such a vulnerable way. As a long time viewer, this is such an eye-opener to the “behind the scenes” we can be so unaware of. This video is so inspiring and I really am looking forward to you making videos about shadow work if you choose to.
🥹💚 Thank you. Posting this was difficult, I didn’t think it would be as I am used to being open but goodness…not like this. Not about my ‘shadow side’ (100% will do a video on shadow work!)
Thank you for sharing your sobriety story. I haven’t drank since new years where I had a sip of Champagne. In my twenties and early thirties would binge drink on the weekends. I did it because it was what my friends were doing and it helped ease social anxiety when talking to women. I eventually grew out of drinking and got married. My wife started drinking much more after we had our only child. She wouldn’t get smashed but would drink every day. I think I have quite drinking because I see it as poison and it has affected too many around me. Last week I went and said goodbye to a friend who was dying from liver failure from habitual drinking before they took him off life support and he died.
Alcohol can but fun but it can come at a heavy price, ruined opportunities, loss of time due to hangovers, and even death. Just not worth it to me right now.
God bless.
I did not drink often when I was underage. But I'm proud to say that when I did, it was very responsibly (keeping track of how many drinks per hour; drinking w friends who reminded me to hydrate). And I owe a big part of that to you, dodie, and Lucy who by sharing your experiences w alcohol taught me I could have more fun with less drinks. I think I learned younger than most that it doesn't benefit me to drink "just because..." and I rarely drink w an intent to get more than tipsy. So thank you for uploading videos like this bc in my case they've had a preventative effect and have helped me form (what I think is) a healthy perspective on alcohol.
This is brilliant. People have this ‘alcoholic or not alcoholic’ attitude. I have never been drinking in the morning or anything like that but I could just tell when I did drink I would feel
Awful, depressed, couldn’t stop at one. Quitting is by far THE BEST thing I have ever done. I am 2 1/2 years sober and it’s the best thing I ever did
I just hit four years alcohol free as well! 5/19/19 ❤ congrats to you.
Amazing well done !
You're doing what a lot people can't do. Respect!
12/1/‘86 here. I’m allergic . I break out in paper hospital slippers.
Fantastic job!
Thank you this. I’m only 4 days into sobriety, and I’m scared because I also love the taste. Going to miss the buzz. It’s been like a part of me for over 20 years. My first challenge is my father-in-law’s party this Saturday. I’m scared but videos like this give me strength. We sound a lot alike.🥲
Edit: this video popped up on my recommendations.
Congrats on taking the first step :) i just wanted to say I did a year of sobriety once (I had to for testing) and when it was over, at the time, I worked at a brewery/distillery . I tried a sip of everything we had there and when I tell you NOTHING tasted good anymore. I always considered myself as someone who LOVED the taste. Nope. It's totally an acquired taste that continues to develop over time. It goes away! It tastes soooo much stronger and bitter and poisonous. So just as you grow to love it, you will grow to not. Hope this perspective helps, even just a little
Fantastic share Melanie. Wild to think it’s been 4 years already ❤
Congratulations! You deserve all the pride and joy 💜
Yes, I also had my phase of trying to keep up with man that were a lot heavier than me. Did not go wel...
I've pretty much stopped drinking a few years ago (there were times I did drink in between, but a lot less than before and I've always regretted), and the thing is that life becomes sooooo much simpler! No drama, no hangover, no having to think about "okay, how can I manage my night in a way that I can drink the most I could without passing out or making a fool of myself".
So proud of you!
Just here to support you, and say how proud I am of you 💚 It's a huge accomplishment!
So freaking proud of you ♥️♥️♥️
So proud of you, Melanie! 💚 It takes real courage to share something so personal.
I’ve been following you since you were a relatively small channel, and it’s been amazing to see your growth over the years! Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story ❤
Thank you so much for sharing. It's so helpful for people to know they are not alone. Congratulations on 4 years.
so happy for you!! 🙏🏼
This came exactly when I needed it. Thank YOU. ❤
Thanks so much for sharing this Melanie! I’ve definitely had my fair share of the usual eejit-ness running around binge drinking, getting sick, blacking out, but it was all laughed off as the usual teenage/ early 20s experience.
I related so much to you realizing drink was a problem when you find the person you want to keep in your life forever and create a family with. Drink makes fights and insecurities so much worse and sets you into fight or flight so extremely compared to when you’re sober. Thanks a mill for putting out something that’s so relatable but rarely admitted!
Congrats on 4 years! That is a huge acheivement! Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is look introspectively and realize that something is wrong and we need help! Good on you for putting in the work. So happy you're where you envisioned yourself 💚💚💚
Congratulations Melanie! 🎉
What a huge accomplishment. It’s so brave of you to share this part of your life. I love that you have come so far in processing this issue that you can feel comfortable sharing on a larger scale. I think your story will definitely help others out there who are still struggling.
I was never a heavy drinker but am almost two years sober after getting pregnant with my son and never picking it up again. I still miss the taste of it on special occasions but drinking never feels better than not being hungover 💯. I definitely feel more emotionally regulated and an much more aware when my depression and anxiety are affecting me now that I don’t use alcohol as a crutch when those yucky feelings come up. 💚
Congrats! I'm on a similar journey and I love these videos.
So proud of you and thank you for being so honest! 💚 I would be really grateful if you did a video one day on jealousy/insecurity in a relationship as it’s something I’ve always struggled with, it’s a horrible feeling 😅
I admire you so so much Mel, fair dues to you for sharing your experiences with alcohol so openly - it’s reflections and realisations just like this that help see the bigger picture for making the best decisions for your own future self and your family 💛 You’ve inspired me as a sober curious person!
Thanks for sharing Melanie! Would love to hear more about what you learned in therapy! xx
This video, and the 6 months video - literal treasure. You cannot imagine how much that helps! Thanks for that!
Yesss well done Melanie, I’m so proud of you too!! Would love to see videos on shadow work and transactional analysis :D
Thank you for being so brave & sharing your story Melanie. We love you, we see you, we appreciate you. This video WILL help people xxx
Thank you Mel for this video! As I have encountered problems with drinking as well with people I love… this is so important, that people have problems and they CAN solve them! ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story Mel 💕
Thanks for being brave enough to post this ♥️ it was really interesting to listen to you speak about this (and I really admire you for it). I’ll definitely look into those therapy techniques.
So whilst I’m still quite young, only turning 23 next week, I have had a strange relationship with drinking when I went to uni. In my childhood I’ve dealt with an alcoholic dad and grandparents. It’s fair to say that all the moments I have with them when alcohol was involved were very negative. I hadn’t realise what an impact that had on me. During my adolescence I didn’t drink much cos I lived with my mum, but once I got to uni and so called “escaped”, I started to enjoy the euphoric feeling associated with alcohol and helped me escape the pain I was in from years of abuse. Most times it was really fun, made me more sociable and I stupidly felt like it helped me get deeper connections with people. That was until one night, I completely lost it. Still can’t remember how and whether I drank a lot or if I was spiked, because I was in a club and all I remember is the beginning and the end where my boyfriend had to come pick me up because I was too drunk. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed and my friends always laugh about that day, but that day, for me, I felt like I was becoming my dad, and that terrified me. Since then I’ve stopped. Sorry for such a long comment, but yeah, thank you for this video and for sharing your story, you’re so brave and amazing ❤️
Wow, dear Melanie, thank you so much for these videos. You have made me question my relationship with alcohol and that has helped me with my healing journey tremendeously. Not just in dealing with alcohol, but with adressing my 'toxic' behaviours overall. So I really wanted to be another voice shouting at you - thank you thank you. It is really beautiful to see your vulnerability and it makes it easier to talk about those things with other people in my life. Lots of hugs!
Sending you so much love. You’re so brave ❤
I rarely comment on videos. But thank you for this. It’s incredibly vulnerable but it’s also inspiring and helps way more people than you realise. I grew up in foster care so my escape was always alcohol, in my adult years it’s been my problem. I’ve been struggling my for years but every time someone in the public opens up about it, it gives me more motivation. Thank you thank you.
Thank you for sharing Mel! And congrats on 4 years sober
Thank you. Just thank you for sharing 💚 Most things can be filtered online. Thank you for being real and genuine. Congratulations on the 4 year milestone ❤
This insight and all of this work that you have done is so huge and very beautiful, Melanie! I heard in your first video it was much more, but wanted to respect you and not comment anything regardng that- people share when they feel ready and also feel more secure in their sobreity and the trauma that comes with dealing with the past traumas due to different actions. This really touches so many of us in different ways. I would go to my uni. psychology lectures and many in my class would be very moved and some would cry (due to dealing with alcoholism themselves and being sober now, some had lost a parent/sibling/relative/friends to alcoholism when they were young, some lost a dear partner to alcoholism etc.)! I grew up with friends who started out partying and they would drink alcohol and some would do party drugs and sometimes they would smoke weed. We’re all adults now and it makes me so sad when I sometimes see a few of them in the city, and they are just so lost in their addiction. The only ”fun” in life is this addiction and it’s such a paradox because at the same time it’s the thing that is killing them and also gives them anxiety and is something they use to numb their anxiety with. I had to let go of them , but I still root for them in the distance. Had to choose to grow up myself and go for my dream (studying psychology and law at uni. which I’m doing at the moment since a few years back), and that meant not continue on with the liberal mindset of ”I don’t do drugs or drink alcohol, but I like my friends and we have fun and some of them doing those things doesn’t affect the friendship”. It does to the core though, the inactivity, the lack of power in the day, gloomy rooms during sunny days, no fun outings during the spare time, simply just reality tv and being hungry because no one wants to get up and buy groceries and cook a nice meal and I got tired of planning and making it happen. The friendships at uni. feels warm, safe and happy in a genuine way- we’re not mocking each other for having ambitions and working hard, instead we cheer each other on and celebrate exams we’ve passed. My dream is to work with youth within domestic abuse homes and youth struggling with addiction. I truly believe the early support can save lots from a ton of pain in adulthood. It might sound silly, but with a law degree, I think I can help others in a way my former friends didn’t get help and support. Hoping to get accepted for an exchange year in London before I graduate here in Scandinavia.
Sharing is a way to remove the stigma and that’s important. Nothing grows stronger in the silence but shame and guilt. Thank you for being brave and sharing, Melanie❤
Ps. This shouldn’t be viewed as a maudling message, but one with hope! I genuinly believe things can and will get better. For anyone struggling with severe substance abuse, going cold turkey can be really dangerous so please contact your doctor and have them assist you during your sobriety. It can in the worst cases lead to organ failure and other things such a psychosis etc.
I applaud your vulnerability. I imagine this was difficult to share. Congratulations on four years of being sober. Love the videos. Well done!
It’s a wonderful accomplishment! So happy for you! I was the same way when I’d drink, but I’ve been sober for just over 6 months now. It feels like I’m a completely different person for the better! Not everyone has a problem with drink, but to those of us who do, I’m so proud of every one of you! Much love and here’s to more great times to come! 💕
Thank you for this! I had my drinking phase bcs of living with ppl who had been on that path for a long time. I feel less alone. I so so so appreciate this, and you should be proud! ❤
Yes! I did find you from the first quit video. Thank you and congratulations! I just celebrated 2.5 years. I had a very similar relationship with the drink. A beautiful future ahead because of the things we've experience and since changed.
Powerful stuff. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this, and you should be so proud of yourself. As someone who is in the early stages of reflecting on their relationship with alcohol, your videos have been such a relaxed, non-judgmental, safe, supportive and informative place to come to. Thank you so so much! (also low-key love your house to home vids) xxx
I really really really appreciate this video. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there ❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story and for being so vulnerable and candid, Melanie. You inspire me to be a better person with every single video you post. I’m so proud of you! 4 years is SUCH a long time and you’ve come so far. I’ve seen how alcohol can tear families apart and you’ve stopped the cycle in its tracks. It takes a hell of a lot of strength and willpower to accomplish something like this. Thank you for always being YOU. You have no idea how positively you’ve influenced my life, just by sharing your experiences! 💚
so proud of you!!!
Thank you so much for deciding to post this! There are so many of us out there that are still trying to keep it on the down low but sometimes we are struggling to hold onto sobriety and all we need is to talk to some other sober people to replenish our motivation and will power and share it as well!
Very interested in transactional analysis - thank you for including a link to further reading. Would definitely be interested in learning more about this! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you and congratulations Melanie, really great video
Thank you for sharing your story. I had my moment of clarity today and was looking for inspiration. Your video came up first and you make me feel like I’m not alone. Our stories are very similar.
Congratulations! I can’t imagine how hard it is to share all this but I feel so grateful that you did. I do think it will help people who also struggle and I know it takes so much to be that vulnerable. 💚
Thank you so much for sharing, this is such an important topic and I know it must have been very difficult to open up
Well done mate, I’m only a month in and these vids keep popping up which really help 👍🏻
I love that you said you quit for your future self - it's the best motivation there is 💚
so proud of you melanie! it’s inspiring to see someone be so courageous and vulnerable. we’re all rooting for you mama
What a gift of a video, thank you so much Melanie. I would be SUPER interested in a transactional analysis / shadow work therapy video!!
Thank you so much for being so honest and vulnerable, I know it’s scary but you really have cracked so many hearts open by sharing authentically and courageously. Not only in this video but across ALL your videos and social media! ❤
Thanks so much for sharing. It’s incredibly hard to be vulnerable publicly but is such a gift to others ❤
I was journaling this morning and it became clear to me that I want to be sober. I can relate so so much to your story, from the binge drinking to crazy out bursts. Thank you so much for sharing this as it has confirmed to me that today is the day I start my journey to sobriety. 💖
This was not an easy watch so I can only imagine how hard it was for you ! I wanted to hug you throughout the whole video !
I’m sober as well. Been that way for the past 4years as well. My pregnancies helped me quit. I realised I could do it as soon as it was for something bigger than me. And I remember being sooooo happy when you shared your sober journey.
And you’re doing shadow work ???? Been tiptoeing around that for a while now. Please please please can you do a video on it ? Also transactionnal analysis sounds intriguing I’m gonna look it up.
Thanks for your honesty Mel.
You inspired me with your first video ever on this topic, 3 and some years ago. I wasn't ready to stop drinking at the time, but I kept watching your updates over the years and right now I'm 11 months alcohol free. Thanks for sharing your journey - appreciate your transparency always.
I am so happy for you and proud of you
Oh my gosh Mel, I SO admire you for sharing this - and a huge bloody congrats on your four years sober!!! Thanks for always being real with us 💚
I came to subscribe to your channel because of your earlier quitting alcohol videos. Good to hear you're still feeling confident about your decision, and hopefully you know how much videos like this help people who find them. You don't really go searching for videos on issues like this on youtube unless things have gotten pretty bad, and then when you find others sharing their stories, it can be like a lifeline.
Congrats Melz. Your so pretty. thanks for sharing your story!
I love you! ❤️ I'm just seeing this video as a 1st of you, but you made me cry and laugh! Love the stories and the honesty! Brought me back to my own memories!
You are so brave and such a breath of fresh air thank you for everything❤!! Please do the videos with the transactional analysis techniques🥰
Thank you for being so candid Melanie, it must have been really difficult to make 💚