How Hollywood Culture Leads to Narcissism | Dear Hollywood Episode 4

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  • čas přidán 31. 08. 2023
  • What happens when child performers - due to fame and the industry - accrue copious access to wealth, material luxuries, status, and power? What traits and behaviors show up? Alyson confesses to early moments that led to an inflated self-esteem, selfish behavior, and getting kicked out of a rehearsal for disrespecting the crew. They explore the paradox of extremes where child stars gain unusual power and influence over others, yet remain voiceless and vulnerable in the workplace.
    As an independent podcast, your support means a lot. Subscribe and follow @alysonstoner to join the conversation. New episodes every Friday.
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    Follow Alyson Stoner:
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    Video filmed and edited by: Crispy Chicken / crispychickenco
    Dear Hollywood on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/3XhCWlR...
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    About Alyson Stoner:
    Alyson Stoner is a multi-hyphenate known for their on-screen acting work in franchises such as Step Up and Camp Rock to dancing with the likes of Missy Elliot and Eminem and now their original digital content across all her platforms. Alyson is also the founder of Movement Genius, a digital wellness platform that provides live and on-demand classes to help you improve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.
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Komentáře • 456

  • @australianjackiemason
    @australianjackiemason Před 9 měsíci +846

    Round of applause for Nick Cooper; it's sad that people who truly care for child performers in an appropriate and holistic way are so rare in the industry 🙁

  • @notenoughtreble
    @notenoughtreble Před 9 měsíci +861

    Alyson, the way I am GLUED to this series.
    Your personal experiences coupled with your ability to make this digestible is absolutely invaluable.
    Thank you SO so much for handling this with as much care and professionalism as you have.
    I tell everyone I can about this series.

    • @Queencrazy1997
      @Queencrazy1997 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Agreed it's so informative

    • @liseyboop
      @liseyboop Před 9 měsíci +2

      cannot agree with this sentiment more, i have yet to comment on these videos but i have fully watched them all. i am glued, i am SAT. i am ready to hear at whatever pace it comes, and i am happy, as i hope this is healing for Alyson

    • @xjuhnx
      @xjuhnx Před 9 měsíci +3

      There’s something about her delivery that’s so wise!

  • @aurorarousseau8541
    @aurorarousseau8541 Před 9 měsíci +57

    When I was 14 I volunteered for a charity event at the Santa Monica Peer, I was assisting with the VIP tent and was so psyched to meet some of my favorite Disney stars. My mom was also volunteering as a “chaperone” for the child stars at the event. At the end of it, I was telling my mom what a life the stars lived and how I was so jealous. She replied “I think it’s really hard that these kids are already acting like adults. They’re being treated like products than people.” And I’ve thought about that for the 13 years since. Your series sheds such a good light on the experience and puts it in a frame we can understand. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @chelseacuzzocrea6956
    @chelseacuzzocrea6956 Před 9 měsíci +438

    So, uh, I have an extremely unique perspective on this episode: My childhood was commodified for productivity purposes (I have Cerebral Palsy so I’m funneled through a dehumanizing work and medical system anyhow) and I was periodically put on camera and used as a “brand ambassador and research subject” for fundraising purposes. In short, I was treated LIKE I WAS a “child laborer/unpaid child actor” and I used “real” child actors to be able to cope with a “split self” that needed to be in a professional environment at all times, separate from non professional activities

    • @featherjae
      @featherjae Před 9 měsíci +27

      It's been my lifelong goal to do a project like this on growing up disabled. I wasn't a brand ambassador but I wish I wasn't so exhausted I'd still have the energy to explain the similarities in the lack of bodily autonomy and boundaries of having an adult team of essential strangers telling you what to do with your body weather it's good for you or not because they were not medical professionals just teachers or family who didn't neccesarily remember or understand medical advice but still get to tell the child what to do and how it goes unchecked if the understand an the effect that has on the nervous system. Growing up being a people pleaser to people grabbing you on the street to push your wheelchair or physical body when they think you need help even when it's dangerous an possibly fatal an they ignore you coz they don't understand that. How we're conditioned 100% in many spaces as children to ignore our voice an boundaries as children an how that wires us for chronic illness, suicidality, agoraphobia, social isolation, abuse, dissociative disorders, cptsd and little room for safe physical intimate connection because once it's happened enough that's mostly all I can see an have very little hope or proof anything better exists or ability to relate or exist in healthier spaces if by rare chance there even accessible. Love this project of Alison's so much. Im glad they didnt take the rip off deal. Can't wait for next episode.

    • @phoebexxlouise
      @phoebexxlouise Před 9 měsíci +25

      This is a whole other level of egregious because they're exploiting your vulnerability.

    • @featherjae
      @featherjae Před 9 měsíci +6

      @@phoebexxlouise yep an I imagine like celebrities it feel like Most of the public reacts that way, disconnected from awareness of your semse of safety an boundaries to hopped up on adrenalin reacting to us that anyone could do it at any moment we step out our door, and do, and the rest of the public bar a special few will step in to stop it because celebrities and disabled people are both othered and ogled at

    • @ReineDeLaSeine14
      @ReineDeLaSeine14 Před 9 měsíci +1

      yes!

    • @_semperfemina
      @_semperfemina Před 9 měsíci +14

      wow i was just coming to comment something similar - i was a "cute," "precocious," "obedient" poster child for vertical HIV (from birth) in the early 90s raised partially by a desperate mother trapped in poverty and a narcissistic grandmother who was a master of emotional manipulation and using others for her own means or benefit. cut to adulthood and i'm still struggling with profound mental illness, self advocacy, maintaining healthy boundaries (not being a people pleaser), and even the basics of caring for myself ("how do i find the drive to care for myself Just for myself when there's nobody to perform for?" is a question i've asked myself many times during this journey of healing and self empowerment). there is absolutely a psychological & emotional dissonance caused by Being Special while also having no bodily or even emotional autonomy that i'm still navigating to this day, let alone the lasting physical limitations not just from the damage a lifelong disease causes but honestly mostly from the toll of that amount of stress forced onto a developing brain. ANYWAY, thank you Alyson for doing the work, doing this work, and shedding light on the immediate need as a society to cherish and protect children.

  • @natara658
    @natara658 Před 9 měsíci +15

    I recently learned that the word 'idol' comes from the Greek word 'eidolon' which means a spirit, or shade. An 'eidolon' literally meant the reflection of a person, ie. how they looked to others. So a spirit or 'idol' could be created by many people admiring you, ie. a celebrity. To the ancient Greeks, Helen of Troy became an eidolon. But in the modern day we have celebrities. Learning that the root meaning highlights a "mirror image" made so much sense to how truly hollow "idolhood" can seem. A mirror is only a mirror, but a person is a person; I hope that makes sense. (I grew up knowing [a very famous young female singer]. When we became teens, watching her rise to fame was really surreal. Honestly it's still surreal. I studied philosophy in college, and unpacking the meaning of fame has been a really big thing for me. I really appreciated this podcast, and I wish there was more media like this in general.)

  • @cgp212
    @cgp212 Před 9 měsíci +323

    Incredible work. Trauma informed, evidence-based, accessible information, anchored in reality. She is power mapping the industry for us. Alyson does it all in this series. Thank you for using your lived experience to advocate for children still working in the industry.

    • @SkyeID
      @SkyeID Před 8 měsíci +5

      Alyson's pronous are they/them

  • @user-bj7em4fv1p
    @user-bj7em4fv1p Před 9 měsíci +8

    What shocks me is that a child actor’s job isn’t seen as child labor, because that’s what it is. I have always thought about that but people always seem to speak about the shiny side of it; so glad for those like Alyson who actually tell us about the shady side of it.

  • @kingdomkeygirl
    @kingdomkeygirl Před 9 měsíci +158

    I studied Early Childhood Education teaching and I love the perspective you're bringing to this topic. It's really obvious how much time and care you've spent studying childhood development.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +49

      I'm so grateful so many people here have a background in childhood development! I need us all to have a large roundtable! haha

    • @andreasmeelie1889
      @andreasmeelie1889 Před 3 měsíci +1

      @@TheRealAlysonStoner
      Can I join?
      I have a college degree in Early Childhood Development!😇

  • @kaymunoz5507
    @kaymunoz5507 Před 9 měsíci +8

    I’m learning that there is a lack of emotional intelligence due to constant gratification, lack of mentorship, and lack trust

  • @NathanTRousseau
    @NathanTRousseau Před 9 měsíci +4

    This episode reminded me of a weird dichotomy within me when I was young. I remember seeing the public breakdowns of celebrities; nude leaks, DUIs, etc. On one hand I would think "Wow, I thought they were a GOOD PERSON! I can't believe they would do that..." and on the other hand I would think "I'm so glad I'm not famous so my problems aren't plastered everywhere." Yikes! I was conditioned to judge people like Vanessa Hudgens for her nude leak, when the leak happened from an EX boyfriend??? Yet SHE was being publicly shamed for it, PAID less by Disney,,, and forced to make public apologies.
    ...Meanwhile I'm a teenager having my own awakening to sexual experiences, but I get the luxury of my formative experiences not being plastered everywhere. I recently looked up news coverage from Vanessa's situation and was Appalled by the level of public shaming that was involved in this TEENAGER'S personal love life! Something that would be NORMAL for other developing teens is treated like an absolute betrayal to the audience, The Company, teens and children everywhere! Oh the Horror! There ain't no way in HELL that that's normal.
    I can cringe at old facebook posts and quietly delete them... you can't delete all that news coverage, tabloids, and public consciousness that is tied to an underdeveloped Child lashing out at the extreme world around them.
    I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on the public shaming that often accompanies all of these trainwreck stories. What do we do to help stop these tabloid abusers from perpetuating these awful tendencies??
    Appreciating this series so much.

  • @Andrea-vr8zt
    @Andrea-vr8zt Před 9 měsíci +135

    Listening to this episode I couldn’t help but think of the Chuck E. Cheese slogan, “where a kid can be a kid!”. When I was younger and I observed the behaviors of child stars my age I was always in shock and appalled. Mostly because I grew up with super authoritarian household. And I always questioned the fact why and how? But as I’ve grown up I’ve realized that child stars were not allowed to go through the stages of development in the same order I was allotted. Forced to grow up faster than the age that was present. This episode truly helped to open my eyes more.

    • @jadebel7006
      @jadebel7006 Před 9 měsíci

      So are hundreds of thousands of regular k*ds that are abus3d, child actors don't go thru any more or less tr@uma than alot of us

  • @thatdannielle
    @thatdannielle Před 9 měsíci +9

    I used to work at a talent agency in a smaller non-union market that signed child actors. Right from the beginning the talent agent would tell parents they are only the “chauffeur” and to not give the child any advice about line delivery or try to put their idea of the character into the child’s head. In some ways, I do think this helps put the parent in a headspace to not be a stage parent and live out their dreams through their kid (which some still do) but I imagine it would also set the stage for a parent to question setting boundaries or giving advice/perspective while on set or auditioning.

  • @rachelissocoollike
    @rachelissocoollike Před 9 měsíci +197

    So ok. I trust this space you've created enough to post my actual feelings on the public Internet. Here goes.
    I was absolutely one of the consumers of media who believed that child stars were to be envied. All I saw as a young child (who had my own talents I believed were comparable) was the status, opportunities, and accolades received. I saw them living the life I thought I was missing out on.
    It's only now as a 30 year old I'm beginning to realize that not all those opportunities were bound to be good things, and all the bullets I dodged when I DIDNT get put into the commercial acting baby mill.
    Like, genuinely. My talents are my own. To share when I want with whom I chose. And I've had privacy, anonymity and humility my whole life because of my mundane irl experiences - balancing out all the praise and encouragement I was also receiving.
    Thanks for doing this podcast- it's helped me gain sympathy and allowed me to stretch my brain with nuanced thought.
    I sure do appreciate it.
    -RR

    • @phoebexxlouise
      @phoebexxlouise Před 9 měsíci +9

      Yeah I relate to this! I have talent and I always envied others being recognised for their talent. I felt like I was not being recognised. But I don't think I could personally handle the scrutiny they go through

    • @LovingLifeasEmma
      @LovingLifeasEmma Před 9 měsíci +1

      Yes! I can relate to this as well.

    • @Skyler_Momoko
      @Skyler_Momoko Před 5 měsíci

      So well said. I still have these moments where I will compare myself to celebs my age and wonder why they're so much more achieved than me, and I had an older friend remind me that they have a completely different way of growing and that it's not realistic to compare myself to them. I constantly have to remind myself that I'm taking my own journey and mine has privacy and autonomy and is therefore, much better.

  • @Santolinaa
    @Santolinaa Před 9 měsíci +123

    I’m so glad that you speak out about your experience Alyson. Seeing what happened with Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider, I’m glad that work conditions for child entertainers are being spoken about!! Between McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died and this series, I’m becoming so intrigued about what happened in the making of my childhood shows.
    WHY isn’t there more standards and protections? WHY isn’t more attention focused on the safety and long term success of the child? WHY are they treated as disposable?
    I can not thank you enough for speaking out about this. Hopefully the industry starts to change. ❤️❤️❤️

    • @HD_Segal
      @HD_Segal Před 9 měsíci +1

      I’m a bit perplexed as to why Josh Peck’s “Happy People Are Annoying” has flown under the radar.

    • @rvawildcardwolf2843
      @rvawildcardwolf2843 Před 9 měsíci +5

      @@HD_Segal I read that one, It's very good as well. My guess why it's not as much in the spotlight is that we just don't appreciate the emotional vulnerability and struggles of boys as much as we do girls.

    • @HD_Segal
      @HD_Segal Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@rvawildcardwolf2843 Perhaps, though Peck doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who deliberately tried masking his personal insecurities through machismo whatsoever.

  • @dereklarberg6357
    @dereklarberg6357 Před 9 měsíci +175

    So like you said this episode had a whole different texture to it. It is really interesting to learn not only how narcissism develops in child actors but the long lasting effects it has on their adult life. Thank you for having the humility to expose that child actors develop these traits not so much through their own ego but from a culture that fosters it. This series has been very enlightening and looking forward towards what is to come

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +37

      It really is fascinating to observe the combination of factors that go into personality formation and behavior - genetic, hereditary, environmental. It's also interesting to examine the various forms of narcissism, ie the grandiose version versus vulnerable version. To boot, narcissism can result from both neglectful *and/or* overbearing parenting styles...so it isn't automatically *only* a result of parents overvaluing the child and giving them everything they want. It can absolutely result from a deep sense of neglect and early trauma/wounding.

  • @thaterinb245
    @thaterinb245 Před 9 měsíci +144

    As a hearing impaired person - I thank you for the captions ❤️❤️ So nice to see something like that becoming more prevalent on CZcams!

    • @pandap4ntz
      @pandap4ntz Před 9 měsíci +33

      I'm not hearing impaired, but I use CC to help me better understand whatever it is that I'm watching... And yes, Alyson's CC is great! I love videos that dont rely on the automated captioning. I mean, I'm glad that an automated option exists on youtube, but there's a big difference between the automated captioning and the captioning that creators are actually typing out themselves.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +51

      I'm so glad this is helpful! Special thanks to Mina and Joseph for adding them each week!

    • @percaelumvolo
      @percaelumvolo Před 3 měsíci

      @@pandap4ntzAgreed, i'm not hearing impaired, it's more of a speech processing thing for me, and these captions are great!!!

  • @tdog3753
    @tdog3753 Před 9 měsíci +39

    Also it's so exciting to see actors like Alyson, Jeanette, Alexa, taking a stand and being bold.

  • @ULuvJanae
    @ULuvJanae Před 9 měsíci +30

    Final thought:
    I know we wanted to be a child actor because of all the happy shiny faces we saw growing up. You all looked so happy, and seemed to be living the life, it was never apparent that there were so many adults that didn’t protect you guys or have your best interests. That there were so many adults who crossed boundaries and acted like more of a friend than an adult. Easy access to drugs and alcohol while telling you all that they’ll “keep your secrets safe” while overworking you and telling you to keep up a squeaky clean image is damaging.
    You have so much power, yet no voice to communicate your own thoughts and needs all while being a puppet for the adults around you and someone of no personal boundaries because if you don’t give the fans what they want you’re deemed as ‘rude’ or hard to work with.
    I, on the other hand, had difficulty trusting close adults growing up. On one hand, I wanted to please them and make them happy so I could ‘win’ their approval. However, I didn’t feel supported or seen or heard much from certain individuals I sought approval from.
    To this day, I’m no child star, but I remember what it was like being the oldest and being a scholar and then finally crashing under all of that pressure. Everyone chose activities they thought were best for me instead of focusing on what I liked. Today, it’s challenging to even know what I like and be willing to explore new avenues without being immediately great at it and exceeding expectations. Eventually, the adults around me were disappointed in me. I no longer interested them and to this day I struggle to voice my needs or try new things. I hate disappointing people or making them upset in any way.
    I’m thanking you in advance for your personal perspective Alyson, as well as the time and thought you’ve put into this. It mirrors a lot of different perspectives and I hope to hear more about what happens to the child star after they grow up and face reality for themselves.
    - Taelyr 🧚🏿‍♂️

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +13

      This is powerful to read. Thanks for sharing some background regarding your own experience. Being the oldest and a scholar... oof. // The pressure to be excellent instantly can prevent us from starting so many things. Learning to accept ourselves even when we're "average" or "bad" at something is definitely a process. // Wishing you well in your journey!!!

  • @margaret-
    @margaret- Před 9 měsíci +75

    This is so fascinating. I think one thing that came up for me with this episode that I don’t see people talk a lot about is the effect that child-stardom has on the child’s siblings. One of my best friends as a teenager had a little brother who was a semi-successful child actor. It always perplexed me how their whole family revolved around his schedule and what would be best for his career. She and I were also actors, but nowhere near as successful as her brother. They got a long really well, but I’m sure there are plenty of cases where the competition ruins relationships.

    • @aitch3
      @aitch3 Před 9 měsíci +7

      I've been thinking about Jodie and Buddy Foster.

    • @Bianca_Toeps
      @Bianca_Toeps Před 9 měsíci +18

      I've seen this up close because I had an ex who's younger brother was famous. There were a lot of disturbing things happening that I don't want to talk about, so I'll just share this one little story: I remember vividly going to the bathroom at their family home and all the photos on the wall were of the kids - with celebrities. So where you would normally have photos of the kids when they were small, playing sports, out camping, in funny dress-up... Here it was the kid with Celebrity A, with Celebrity B... It weirded me out so much.

    • @margaret-
      @margaret- Před 9 měsíci

      @@Bianca_Toeps that is WILD 😭 so bizarre

    • @oooh19
      @oooh19 Před 5 měsíci

      true but at the end of the day, celebs are people too@@Bianca_Toeps

  • @schtuff.8207
    @schtuff.8207 Před 9 měsíci +8

    I had a monstrous ego as a quasi-child star that only showed up at school - it seemed like career suicide to be a bastard on set. But at school - it was my way to defend myself against the bullying I would get. A white-hot ego at an early age amplified by success makes you feel truly infinite - and it lead me to be very productive, always wanting to prove them wrong, and in the process, becoming a bully and nuisance to them as well. Since my ego brought me and others so much hardship, I don't think I've ever looked at early success as something beneficial for my self confidence - but overall, I think you're right. It did instill in me a relentless sense of 'I can have what I want' that was positive, a respect for my pure desire to create and express, a constant sense of underlying belief that has always remained even through deep depressions. However, it took me a decade or more to start to allow a healthy amount of self-confidence back in, out of fear/certainty I'd become what I was before. The problem was, the only way I could like myself was by emphasizing my specialness and in many cases being a tyrant. Its taken a lot to like myself without the need to bully to get there.

  • @arxzcm
    @arxzcm Před 9 měsíci +14

    Props to Nick Cooper!

  • @demi0758
    @demi0758 Před 9 měsíci +15

    I am so glad you are doing this. I was coming up at the same time and my name is Demi. I was VERY early on told there was another Demi that would rule me out if I didn’t really do EVERYTHING. I was so totally overworked but I was told by every adult and any kid on these sets that I was the best, I was going to be famous … and it is ALL I wanted. I was so hungry. Now looking back I wonder if I wasn’t responsible in a way for the demise of my parents relationship. My mom supported me my dad didn’t he wanted me to just be a regular kid and I hated him for it. I remember I made a large purchase and he called and canceled it and I lost my mind. I thought that was the most cruel and ridiculous thing anyone could ever do.😂 all this behavior was being reinforced by the people around me though, I’m not making excuses for being a total bratty child. There was an entire agency in my town that I was the founding and main focus of. My face is on billboards everywhere I feel like I’m am the most important person on the planet. Meanwhile, most people outside of my town have no clue who I am. 😂 in short, the reason I got out of this pipeline is because my mother realized I was out of control and went back to my father. I was so angry I feel that they were directly responsible for ending my career. I had adults reaching out to me and offering to pursue this without my parents, and that I should look at emancipation. I was 13. Thank God my parents never let me go off with these other adults, and something in my head was screaming danger, so I refused, and just blamed my parents. At the time I blamed them for ruining my life now I know they saved it. It was a close call, but I ended up having a normal life and I can say that taste I had was very addictive. That power you’re talking about should not be given to a kid it’s horrifying. We don’t understand the consequences of the things were doing and demanding. Not to mention the pure hatred I had at that age for Demi Lovato, whom I didn’t even know and who doesn’t know I exist. But I was told this is my direct competition. When I see what she has went through that we know of I always think that could have been me and I’ve never thought that in a good way.

  • @Gracula
    @Gracula Před 9 měsíci +11

    Alyson was the first and only celebrity I have ever met. I was in first or second grade and she was on a school tour. I was last in line to meet her. Her team and my principal told me that she had to go and that she couldn’t meet me. Alyson took the time out of her day to tell them it was okay and she gave me an autograph and took a picture with me. This series is so fascinating to me. Each episode I think back to how I felt when I met her and how she made me feel special. I’ve talked about that moment so many times. Keep up the amazing work Alyson and thank you for your time!

  • @scoutcarpenter3178
    @scoutcarpenter3178 Před 9 měsíci +11

    It’s so interesting because I grew up trained for professional ballet, and so much of this applies to my childhood but minus a lot of the access. The way adults had access to touch my body and compared me to the other kids around me. These people who are your peers and are the only ones who understand you become your competition. I think being able to relate the “child star” experience to a more “normal” childhood (kinda lol) really humanizes them and allows for more empathy.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +5

      Yes, there are huge overlaps with the ecosystems for competitive athletics, arts, academics... thanks for sharing your experience!

  • @djsartstudio9506
    @djsartstudio9506 Před 9 měsíci +23

    I was born with Dwarfism, which in my case has come with countless surgeries, hospital stays, and unique "experiences." Some of these experiences, depending on how you look at it, could be considered similar to those of a child actor. One of the biggest examples is being public outings. More specifically, people with Dwarfism face challenges such as being stared at, asked rude questions, taking photos with/without permission, and so forth. As a child, I knew I was different, and faced many of the same (if not similar) emotions. Despite this, I was still one of those kids who would dream about being famous, being on TV, and having a chance to meet "everyone at Disney Channel." But I knew It would never happen because of my disability. Alyson, what you are doing here is absolutely amazing. Your story is powerful, and I love listening to every video that comes out! In some odd way, hearing your story has helped me heal and realize that all the times as a kid I "wished I could be normal like those kids on Disney channel," those kids themselves were (and I say this nicely) nothing special-they were human beings with real struggles, that most likely had deep issues that were being drowned out by all the bells and whistles of the industry. and through this, I have also been reminded that no matter your size, background, talents, abilities, or physical appearance, we all have our issues and struggles. Thank you for shedding some light on the areas not thoroughly discussed about child stardom- I genuinely believe you are making a difference.
    I will say that during this video, I couldn't help but think about that one episode on "That's So Raven" that you had participated in that I still remember to this day. It was the episode where Cory Baxter won a contest to be on a TV show and meet the cast members. You played the young girl in this fictional show, and this episode actually showed how you (your character) really wanted to be a kid and how tough it really was being a child actor ( I don't remember the episode title, but those who are curious can look it up.). I find that very interesting foreshadowing.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +12

      Yes, thank you for sharing your experience and perspective! Public outings and the stares, questions, photos.. I can only imagine how that feels, especially when it isn't related to something like being on a TV show. // The Raven episode was titled "Better Days" I think :)

  • @hoshiandreeramirezhernande9682
    @hoshiandreeramirezhernande9682 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Putting aside child stars, I often think about toddler and baby “actors”. I can’t imagine the stress their bodies experience being surrounded by studio lights, strangers, auditions, etc…
    The way Allison said everything just made me think to myself, imagine looking at a 3 or 5yo and some stranger comes up to them telling them: “HIII!!! Remember your lines sweetheart? When that strange lady comes up to you, you’re supposed to look scared and confused and ask her “mommy?” And hug her alright?!” all while being stressed because your parents told you, either because it’s something you’re supposed to be having fun with or to help them, because you can’t tell a toddler it is for money… they can’t even comprehend that.

  • @allisonmilbrath8668
    @allisonmilbrath8668 Před 9 měsíci +17

    I always forget these are on Fridays, and am always delightfully surprised when it pops up

  • @ThatLittleTexanWoman
    @ThatLittleTexanWoman Před 2 měsíci +1

    When I hear this I think about the fact that social media can make a child stars. The life of a child influencer feels even more attainable from a child’s perspective because there are no auditions. It can be done with fewer boundaries and at a rate companies like Nickelodeon and Disney could have only dreamed of a generation ago. There are virtually no regulations for social media child stars.
    Knowing the risks “traditional” child stars have faced for generations, one can only imagine what may happen to the many kids that are pushed into social media fame now and in the future.

  • @timogloor5041
    @timogloor5041 Před 9 měsíci +11

    I’m just baffled at the fact that there are almost NO CUTS. 👀🤯😂 They seem to not make any mistakes while speaking and articulating everything so clearly, I’m so impressed! 😮

    • @carag2567
      @carag2567 Před 9 měsíci +3

      I know. Almost like they've been trained to do this.

    • @timogloor5041
      @timogloor5041 Před 9 měsíci

      @@carag2567 well... haha 💯

    • @carag2567
      @carag2567 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@Evolutioninthestars They did. I was referencing the subject of the series, how child entertainers are conditioned to work to near perfection. Also Alyson uses they/them pronouns.

    • @Evolutioninthestars
      @Evolutioninthestars Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@carag2567 Thank you for putting it in a perspective I can understand. What are you referring to with the use of they/them pronouns?

    • @carag2567
      @carag2567 Před 9 měsíci

      @@Evolutioninthestars That Alyson is non-binary and doesn't use pronouns like she and her.

  • @adammartin5866
    @adammartin5866 Před 9 měsíci +38

    This series has been very telling. I hope that parents thinking about letting their kids become Hollywood stars watch your podcast first so that they are at least a little informed about what they could be getting their child into.

  • @moonlight_games1
    @moonlight_games1 Před 9 měsíci +12

    I appreciate that you kept reiterating to think in the mindset of a child - too often we think about this issue by putting our present selves in the celebrity's shoes. As I remembered being a child, one that literally started doing theatre and taking acting classes at age 6 because another kid I knew was in a commercial and I thought that was so cool, I can't imagine who I would have developed into if that actually did become my career. Honestly until probably late teenhood, a part of me never let go of the thought that fame and notoriety were the markers of a meaningful life. If I actually would have achieved any of that as a kid, my child brain would have thought I had it made. But my adult brain has been through all the disappointments and realizations that I'm not "special" in the sense I thought mattered as a kid and I'm so fucking grateful for it. Now I realize that fame is extremely overrated, and I'd rather be special to a handful of people I'm close to because of our rich and unique, yet relatively anonymous relationships, than to be put on a pedestal by tons of people that don't know me. and I'm so glad I was able to go to college and learn to critically think about the sociological factors that made me equate fame with meaning in the first place. All this to say, if I had achieved any sort of fame as a kid I don't think I would have become an intelligent or thoughtful person, but Alyson you are both of these things and it is clear you have put so much effort into becoming a thoughtful citizen of the world even when it could have been easier to remain in a bubble. Thank you for shining light on your experience and sparking conversation about deeply ingrained cultural value systems that are detrimental to our well-being.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +2

      Wow. This insight is super powerful. It truly makes a world of difference when we place ourselves in the mind kid a child while discussing these topics. Thanks for sharing!!

  • @snakesonthismondaytofriday1750
    @snakesonthismondaytofriday1750 Před 9 měsíci +6

    What stood out to me was the example of performing spontaneously at a sporting event without prior engagement. Tbh, I always thought that anytime a child star was performing, there was usually an agent or publicist behind those appearances. I know usually it is arranged beforehand, but it still makes me think about artists that may have previously had to step aside, so someone already established in the public eye could have another moment.

  • @zoeollie202
    @zoeollie202 Před 9 měsíci +44

    Thank you Alison for humanizing celebrities that are often deified or spoken about moreso like a concept than a living person actively interacting with a world looking at them in real time. The pressure is a lot and the rewards are huge, so are the responsibilities. I think you’re both giving grace and explaining your peers in a way that isn’t too specifically personal, and also effectively showing people who have wished they were famous that maybe that’s not a reality they would like to wake up to every day. We’re living in a time where it’s so much more likely that children can become famous and it’s a very life changing thing. I remember being broke as a child and wishing I could fix it by child acting because it’s literally the highest paying legal form of child labor. I’m very happy with my life from what I did get from it instead now. Hearing about what it would have actually been like makes me forgive myself even more now.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +16

      Thank you for sharing! It is so tender to hear how many people at young ages were trying to help support their family or "fix" a certain life circumstance, and that fame was positioned as a potential solution (albeit it was also likely painted as "out of reach" which could add to a sense of helplessness amidst the temporary relief of the fantasy). /// I'm wondering how access to becoming famous via social media is shaping young people's understanding of how to establish themselves in the world... if there's an increase in perceiving fame/having followers/etc as an important (or even necessary) part of "making it" as an adult.

  • @bellvalentina
    @bellvalentina Před 9 měsíci +165

    Thank you Alyson for your compassion and dedication in releasing this series. You are so so loved, and you’re making a huge difference with your voice.

    • @HS-pm1ro
      @HS-pm1ro Před 9 měsíci

      Well said ❤

    • @robbyharrison101
      @robbyharrison101 Před 9 měsíci

      ask her if she cares if all people like animals including andres galarraga aka the big cat

  • @Jozigirl93
    @Jozigirl93 Před 9 měsíci +2

    This is going to start a cultural shift, and I’m so excited to be here at the start of it.

  • @betsycheddar
    @betsycheddar Před 5 měsíci

    I remember as a child I used to not understand just how invasive and public being famous could be. I was a dancer from 4-11 and I loved watching Dance Moms. I was also regularly put under harsh scrutiny and degraded for what I couldn’t do, so I thought that all those kids who were also my age on tv were being dramatic. Then I got older as a golden child and felt just a fraction of that pressure and felt for them. I was also told that I had an opportunity to be on a commercial as a kid, but my mom didn’t have the time to really make sure I’d be ok so she turned it down. I am forever grateful for that. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to never be able to expect privacy or boundaries.

  • @karendinkel9040
    @karendinkel9040 Před 9 měsíci

    This is why tough but love parenting is so important and not parents who want to be “friends” no matter where you grow up

  • @Goldiibug
    @Goldiibug Před 9 měsíci +21

    I see so much overlap with your experiences and the average population. There are definitely differences. Most of us never get to experience getting whatever we want. My experience was the opposite. The word no and the idea I wasn't good enough plagued my daily life. I was constantly seeking attention yet hiding from everyone. I didn't have a voice because if I spoke up those words would haunt my future. It wasn't safe to be myself so I worked really hard to conform to what the adults wanted me to be. I tried to be mature and invite myself to adult conversations to prove my worth. It never worked out of course. Kids were something to be handled and then tucked into a play area. They were never meant to interact with adults. They weren't worthy of that status. They were nothing more than an inconvenience when they entered the room. Still to this day I struggle to realize my self worth. I feel that one of the problems with our society is that the majority of adults turn off their caring attitude towards kids. Kids are treated like vermin. Either they're given whatever they want so they're happy and the adults can ignore them or they're given the bare minimum, if that, and pushed out of the way to also be ignored. The developmental needs of children are not being met in our society. Adults are conditioned to not care. There needs to be a shift in society where adults are taught how to truly nurture children so the kids can grow up to be stable adults. Kids will always be the future. We can not continue to give the future whatever it wants and expect it to think of society as a whole. We can not continue to ignore the future in hopes it'll fix itself. These seem to be the only two options in society right now. It isn't working. There has to be a change that swings into a healthy medium or else everything will continue to crumble around us and chaos will only get worse. Us adults can change this by acknowledging and admitting our wrongs then actively working to change them.

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +5

      Thank you for this insight! Unpacking how a society/culture treats and values children is fascinating. Now I'm headed down a rabbit hole googling "social construction of childhood" -- thanks for the inspo!

    • @daniellesaunders3798
      @daniellesaunders3798 Před 9 měsíci

      One hundred million percent love this!!! My favorite humans in the world are the rare gems who can see and interact with a child as a unique human being. Bonus points if they can do that AND do the same for the parent(s) or, I guess, any average adult.
      For some reason, I've often noticed that even if a person in early childhood development fields can be extraordinary at connecting with my children, they can be equally judgy with me.

  • @user-hp9ln4mm1d
    @user-hp9ln4mm1d Před 2 měsíci

    You bring such a dimension to what it means to be a child actor. It’s must be really weird not to really know what a normal life is like growing up. To have strangers grant you privileges because they know you as another character and you don’t know them at all. That’s really terrible for a child to experience. I truly feel for you.

  • @21cathleen
    @21cathleen Před 14 dny

    I can’t get over how fast paced life is for child actors. Humans of all ages need slowness and silence to regulate nervous systems. Super interested to see what you mention in the next video about it. I hope you’ve been able to have more moments of solitude as you’ve gotten older. Thank you soooo much for all the work you and your team have put into this.

  • @gabbyxjpg
    @gabbyxjpg Před 9 měsíci +1

    I’ll always have the utmost respect for Ethan Cutkosky because while he was filming shameless he wanted to be written out of the show during school because he wanted to go to school like a regular kid. From an outsider looking in I feel like that alone makes a famous person just a little bit closer to reality

  • @CallousCoder
    @CallousCoder Před měsícem

    And the media really plays into this too. When Dylan or Cole was photographed as a waiter in a NYC restaurant when they were studying there. Immediate the weird suggestive headlines: “strapped for cash”, “fallen child star”. It’s not only disrespectful to the former actor but also to a whole profession of extremely hardworking diligent people. As if being a waiter is being below an actor. It’s vulgar.

  • @drawwithdazzyg9771
    @drawwithdazzyg9771 Před 9 měsíci +3

    After getting a better picture of the environment that child stars experience, the heavy privileges and setbacks, puts so much into perspective. Quite honestly, i felt very fearful when you mentioned about minors getting access to go to clubs and mingling with other adults and being so easily exposed to certain drugs and addictions so early in life. As a mom listening to this, I was literally biting my fingernails.

  • @AnnaYT9575
    @AnnaYT9575 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I find the extremes so interesting. Inflated self esteem coupled with crippling self hatred or insecurity; everyone working to keep you happy while many abuses co-occur behind the scenes. It’s such a strange, dichotomous existence, and of course kids can’t wrap their heads around it.
    I can’t know what it’s like to experience any type of fawning as a famous child (I was just a regular theatre kid lol) but I grew up in an ex-industry family and one experience stands out. I visited a family friend’s studio one time, and the front desk was manned by USC film students doing internships. They were SO nice. They were so doting and so accommodating and they offered to get me anything at all, and all I could think was “don’t they know I’m not important?”. My dad had to explain to me that I’m a close personal friend of the studio owner because I was like… but I’m ME. I have family and friends who are used to it, but I had no idea what to do with myself. I feel like it would be so overwhelming as a young child.

  • @FoxofGold
    @FoxofGold Před 9 měsíci +1

    Living states away from the industry and having grown out of the performers dream this all reinforces the reasons why I never went farther in pursuing acting. Having a bf who majored in Film and who still actively works in the industry and is trying to make a name for himself, all of this scares the heck out of me

  • @goldbiscuit2708
    @goldbiscuit2708 Před 9 měsíci +12

    This series has been so eye opening for me on such a personal level. Going into the body autonomy stuff - I went through a lot of trauma as a kid and never realised it was what caused my need to be such a people pleaser as an adult, shrinking myself so I’m “easy to be around” and don’t feel like a burden on others. I’m going to start looking into ways to heal this now I’m aware of it. Thank you Alyson, you truly are making a change in the world with this series.

  • @je3720
    @je3720 Před 9 měsíci +11

    The most captivating series on CZcams, this honestly deserves all the accolades it can get.
    You deliver this complex topic so concisely and succinctly furthermore you exhibit such a calming aura.

  • @Cayla2015
    @Cayla2015 Před 9 měsíci +8

    Watching this series has made me so thankful for the adults and mentors that I had as a child. It makes me so thankful to be an average adult. Shame on Hollywood and adults in the industry that didn't do more to protect child stars from a world that is too much, even for adults.

  • @snarkybunni
    @snarkybunni Před 9 měsíci +12

    i wish you could talk for hours! it's so nice to see you grow, and also see you take back your power, and your privacy! you deserve to be heard

  • @tjhudson9678
    @tjhudson9678 Před 9 měsíci +3

    I love that you have that view on everyone changing the world. I've argued this point for years. 'Its only normal because we have made it that way'

  • @brittwilhoit
    @brittwilhoit Před 8 měsíci +3

    This series has been so illuminating. I never considered the actual nervous system developmental issues that would stem from having to be 'on' all the time, or the fact that the way you perceived the world while your brain is still developing will have such real consequences on the adult one becomes. This has been amazing. Great work.

  • @rainbownerladybounce
    @rainbownerladybounce Před 9 měsíci

    Nick Cooper deserves major recognition. He sounds like a really good person

  • @savoyantoinette1465
    @savoyantoinette1465 Před 9 měsíci +5

    I was brought up in the theater community and it is insane to have so many adults be so close to me and being able to comment on my body in such harmful ways. And being in an environment that’s normalized being half-dressed in a room full of your peers is so crazy to me. Hearing this really confirms a lot of experiences I’ve had, and shines a new light on what adding FAME and MONEY on top of that could do to someone

    • @bLYSfullyhere
      @bLYSfullyhere Před 9 měsíci

      I was about to make a comment about community/school theatre. It really does feel like this on a mirco level

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +2

      It is absolutely baffling / heartbreaking to me to revisit some of these environments as a guest instructor and hear what parents and teachers say to young people!

    • @bLYSfullyhere
      @bLYSfullyhere Před 9 měsíci

      @@TheRealAlysonStoner It really is horrible! It is unfortunate because a lot of the kids, myself included, love the arts and want to participate. If school, or their local cities theatre programs, are the only ones you can attend...it almost feels like you have no other option to express your creativity.
      I recently rejoined my high school theatre program to hopefully offer a safe space for the kids. Of course, while trying to maintain a professional space.

  • @caseyoung1527
    @caseyoung1527 Před 9 měsíci +1

    it's one of the worst feelings in the world when somebody who hurt you so deeply is accepted and welcomed by people you also want acceptance and warmth from, especially if they actually know what that person did to you.

  • @online1roomschoolhouse886
    @online1roomschoolhouse886 Před 9 měsíci

    It seems to me that there’s an unspoken exchange going on - people get unhealthy access to you if you get unhealthy access to others. So you grow up without the basic framework of any kind of healthy boundaries existing at all.

  • @abigailtheclam
    @abigailtheclam Před 8 měsíci

    i was recently in a community theatre production of oliver!. it kinda showed what you're taking about here on a way smaller scale. our director gave our oliver constant attention and affirmation, but did not do this with the other kids in the cast. it wasn't a HUGE problem, but it was noticeable. the other kids starting picking on "oliver"for his special treatment, and "oliver's" head got bigger, thinking he could get away with more backstage. the special treatment, like our director was his grandpa or something, kinda isolated him from the other kids too. your videos are definitely a reminder of like, the acknowledgement that we as adults need to figure out how to set boundaries when there really aren't any. i think our director had a good heart too, he just didn't realize what was gonna happen. thank you for sharing. you're doing a brilliant job of explaining in depth why these things happen.

  • @jujuMarun12
    @jujuMarun12 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I feel like I've been fortunate enough to understand and even conclude most of what you exposed due to the education I was provided. I feel like the main problem in all of this is that "the audience" fails to see the toxicity in what seems like innocent behavior. It is one thing to "offer a free dinner" to an adult, it is completely detrimental to have a child be used to that. And as you said, it is a structure built for adults, kids were just dragged into it and grew up with no knowledge on the bussiness, and completely oblivious to how everything around them is not the usual way things work.
    Yes, of course people should be held accountable for their f ups, but how do we expect a person that grew up on our praise to be fine whilst the same people who loved them two days ago, are now bashing them online for doing what they've been doing for years, only this time it went public.
    I don't mean to shift blame or anything, I just mean we are all accountable in a way, be that by asking them for an autograph or picture, or posting about how they are such awful human beings after their mugshot from substance abuse emerges

  • @kooskey
    @kooskey Před 8 měsíci

    In my opinion, based on my experiences, a factor that may contribute to the development of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and intense emotional fluctuations in individuals is early onset Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Growing up too soon due to traumatic experiences could potentially result in many children exhibiting BPD symptoms and experiencing frequent mood swings. I have personally been involved in relationships with individuals who had BPD as a result of early trauma, and although it sometimes appeared as narcissism, it was more accurately a survival mechanism stemming from their constant lack of safety. When their ego and self-image were threatened or harmed, their BPD tendencies led them to display narcissistic behaviors. Hollywood thrives and controls based on that fear. It's a shame as they never get the help after decades of poor mental conditioning.

  • @chryllaird
    @chryllaird Před 9 měsíci +1

    It put into perspective the length of time (from childhood well into adolescence) a child actor could be living without boundaries. That is peak period of socialization and the Hollywood industry is setting you up for a downfall. So glad you had someone that gave you boundaries and supported you.

  • @kdog8658
    @kdog8658 Před 9 měsíci +3

    My mother definitely struggled with narcissism from her own childhood and life experiences. My oldest sister has a diagnosis of NPD. I wish to God someone had told her she was wrong or not good enough at something and then actually was dedicated to showing her how. She really thinks, or definitely used to think, she was amazing and everything was going to work out for her. Having to compete in the real world made her an even nastier person. Thank you for talking about this. Despite her antagonistic self centered ways I wish she could just be herself. Hopefully we can prevent this from happening to future kids

    • @TheRealAlysonStoner
      @TheRealAlysonStoner  Před 9 měsíci +1

      NPD is such a complex and challenging experience for the individual *and* everybody around them. Thanks for sharing.

  • @MaddieMagdaleneMusic
    @MaddieMagdaleneMusic Před 4 dny

    I’m commenting on every video in the series after watching in full. A truly incredible feat to get all of this important information and life experience out to us. Needs way more views and I sincerely hope this is the start of a u-turn on what hollywood, media and social media has done to children and innocence itself.

  • @avarice.karmageddon
    @avarice.karmageddon Před 9 měsíci +6

    This is an amazing series. So eloquent, laid out, and researched in medical and psychological effects on child stars. I've always wondered about NDAs since most of the largest entertainers of our time period are still working for the major Hollywood studios. They aren't able to speak publicly about their experiences because even though their original 10 year NDAs from their teenage contract expired; their adult ones from when the re-signed those acting or show contracts, maybe could've put them back into that 10 years NDA contract timeline. What happens if the Hollywood studio goes bankrupt, is the NDA still active or not? Can they finally talk about their experiences publicly without Hollywood and unions backlash if the studios go completely bankrupt? Thank you for being so well spoken, intelligent, humanizing teen idols, and giving us the perspective of experiences of Hollywood that most people never get to experience. It makes me thankful for my normal childhood. I'm thinking what's going to come from all these social media and CZcams child and teen stars of today's world facing similar pressures of child stars before them. Children have addiction to social media far beyond what's been in the days of MySpace and Xenga. Keep up the good and hard work in everything that you do! Thank you for this informative, personal, and great series!

  • @caseyoung1527
    @caseyoung1527 Před 9 měsíci +1

    well spoken- and i appreciate the interjections of later Alyson as well as initial Alyson 😂

  • @Evolutioninthestars
    @Evolutioninthestars Před 9 měsíci +1

    How do you find balance in all this? I can’t help but wonder if this is why drug addiction is such a common issue in Hollywood aside from trauma. I can only imagine what it’s like to have these expériences that are deeply understood by a small percent of the population.
    I know this is going to shatter some of the one-dimensional, black and white perspectives that are usually held around child stars, actors and celebrities alike. What a breath of fresh air and I just want to say that I’m here for it. ✨

  • @thebookstamp9976
    @thebookstamp9976 Před 9 měsíci +4

    Not sure if you are going to cover this but I’m interested in what you think the difference growing up with social media and how that affects child stars and access.

  • @SammPreston
    @SammPreston Před 9 měsíci +6

    You are such a class act. As only a viewer, I never thought about this and knew how unprotected child “stars” are. This series is such a heartbreaking but informative view and exposure into the industry; with such dignity, grace, compassion and heart/ thank you!

  • @j.arelylopez3053
    @j.arelylopez3053 Před 2 měsíci

    When you asked, “so whose fault is it?” It’s a trick question. It’s not one sole persons fault. It’s like you said. The environment and the system that encouraged the behavior and also independently made choices of the person.

  • @MalloryNewcomb
    @MalloryNewcomb Před 3 měsíci

    4:59 that’s brilliant that you went to him for help with vocal coaching after that bad rehearsal experience. Bring coachable and humble is the name of the game.
    That’s why we watch your videos

  • @Scooby_Snax
    @Scooby_Snax Před 9 měsíci +1

    I was raised to ignore my bodily needs, to stay quiet, don't wiggle around too much or cause a ruckus. I was taught to dissociate very early in my life as being as alone as I was and bounced around from parent to parent regularly set in me a kind of detached sense of self because I wasn't able to form safe attatchments with them. I always feel extremely sad for stars being slammed in the media or getting gross attention bc I do feel the human condition connects us in so many ways. Even though I have always just been able to scrape by financially and have maybe been in the local newspaper twice in my life, in no way would I claim to understand what its like to have such large amounts of money at my fingertips, especially as a child. I think from a societal perspective, if we were all taught basic psychology and how the human brain develops and what it needs to develop appropriately, then we could change all of this. So many parents abuse their kids unintentionally because of being so uneducated in what it takes to help the child's brain develop healthily. And in the case of Hollywood kids, you can see how that plays a significant roll where the yes man crew sort of brain washes the kids very similar to a cult. The once pliable brain of a child molded and solidified as these patterns are experience over and over and over again. I have never had any opportunity to walk up and greet a celebrity before, but since I have a knee formulated opinion on how sick the industry is for the mental health of people in it, it almost wouldnt feel okay for me to just invade someones space. Like unsolicited hellos and pictures. Taking up someone's time like that seems rude and manipulative, especially having the awareness that people like yourself aren't raised in an environment to not people please. I struggle so much with people pleasing and so I do understand how masking can take a toll to a degree. I could t even fathom having to ppl plz the whole world. Thank you for sharing. This is an informative and much need educational breakdown that I really appreciate.

  • @christiandrumm4681
    @christiandrumm4681 Před 9 měsíci +1

    My entire life, my family has been struggling financially. I can’t categorize us directly as “poor” because I’ve been fortunate. But the things I’ve seen and went through as a child, conditioned me, as an adult who can appreciate a simple dollar. I’m one of those kids who grew up watching you on cheaper by the dozen, Disney channel, Nickelodeon and thought “wow I wish I could be them and be that lucky to work in Disney” lmao
    But I am happy I’ve always been very grounded and can appreciate very simple things by working very hard for every dollar without having the press from magazines at my front door, or not being to enjoy a meal quietly in public. There’s a lot more to Hollywood than what we all realize and I’m happy to keep listening to what you very clearly express!
    Love those segments and I hope you’re not receiving any hate mail from anyone (I imagine there’s some people who are not happy, I really don’t know) lol ❤

  • @QueenZsWorld
    @QueenZsWorld Před 3 měsíci

    I can tell you went to therapy, did the homework, and have healed a lot. thanks for breaking this down for us and humanizing celeb kids

  • @ThisIsWEB
    @ThisIsWEB Před 9 měsíci +7

    The lifestyle and situations explored in the episode contain so much depth of perspective and information that it actually makes the subject matter feel brand new. It's so much more than spoiled rich kids, Hollywood brats, or whatever. The nuance is important, this dialogue is powerful, and this series is working wonders! Thank you, Alyson.

  • @MalloryNewcomb
    @MalloryNewcomb Před 3 měsíci

    15:30 one thing I love about Ashley Graham: she said that her brothers in a way didn’t care that she was famous. While her mom made her a homemade snickers when she came home, her brothers were like “I don’t care you just walked in Paris, you’re still mowing the lawn”

  • @dylpickled
    @dylpickled Před 9 měsíci +9

    You do a really good job at immersive story telling, helps ppl to understand an experience they typically don’t relate to

  • @bryanna_renaee
    @bryanna_renaee Před měsícem

    Wow this episode was so eye opening!! You speaking about the dichotomies is so interesting to compare as an average consumer/audience member hearing about life from the “other side of the wall”. Like when you spoke about not having any freedom or privacy as a child it instantly made me feel somewhat grateful about my “normal” childhood. Being able to go wherever I wanted freely without having to worry about that. Yet also having to life with the average, and unfavorable experience of being “normal” like struggling with finances, etc…the human experience is so wild. What we wish for comes with its own shadow side and vice versa it’s insane to think about

  • @jordynnelmark4804
    @jordynnelmark4804 Před 2 měsíci

    It’s so sad and horrifying to hear what all of you at Disney and nick went through because so many of us wanted to be you or with you guys living your lives. I remember begging so many times for my parents to let me do it and even got scouted at like age 3 for modeling while at Disney as a guest!! (which is weird af) thank god my mom said no every time and never told me just made sure I knew it wasn’t gonna happen. I used to be really sad about that but after the last like 7 years I’ve slowly realized she saved me yanno. I’m so sorry for all of you, there’s so many that are gone forever we can’t even apologize to, that weren’t heard before they passed. Just sad but I’m so grateful you guys are all coming forward and making a hopeful and better future for the children. Gods work against the literal devils.
    A little late to your series but I’ve been watching so much I’m sorry!! Will be fully in with it all now

  • @maddisonrichards2396
    @maddisonrichards2396 Před 8 měsíci

    what really blows my mind about this episode in particular is the yes men the people that keep on and on telling these kids anything to keep them happy and how that can cause so many other issues in these kids lives like I personally have a lot of child hood trauma and one of the things that happened regularly was being ridiculed over and over again about every little thing about me and so seeing that when child actors are being yes mened by all these people in their lives and how that can cause complications for them in the future and shape how they perceive themselves is just mind blowing.

  • @emilybernal7992
    @emilybernal7992 Před 9 měsíci +8

    This whole series is an amazing entry into the truth behind child stardom and the psychology behind it is fascinating. Thank you for giving this insight and knowledge into the world behind the curtain. I commend you for your bravery to open up about the harsh realities you've dealt with alongside your peers. This is so important and I think (hope) it will make a tremendous impact in the entertainment culture for child stars.

  • @bubbiccino
    @bubbiccino Před 9 měsíci +5

    Adults have a hard time drawing the line/setting boundaries for themselves if/when they hit fame/riches, let alone kids. So even as a kid, when I saw children growing up “handling” these things on their own because the adults around them didn’t do so correctly, I always wondered what a good way to interact with child stars was. On the one hand, I held a lot of respect for the work they did and what they went through considering their age…but on the other hand, I didn’t want to contribute to further inflating/diminishing their ego. I find it easier to interact with adults who gained fame later because I can leave knowing they will probably be fine. When I see famous children, I worry about how their upbringing is handled and how they will turn out because the majority of people around them are not actually helping them differentiate between normal experiences and fame-driven ones. There need to more Nick Coopers and responsible adults in general so child actors’ lives aren’t so damaged and distorted. If adults want children (the next generation) to be better, they need to provide/set a good example and help those who are already doing so- not deter them.
    [Thoughts at halfway point^]
    [Reply after watching the full video]
    - I don’t think I learned anything new about child actors here, except for the previous videos where you spoke about “adults’ access to child actors’ bodies” for work purposes (i.e. makeup/dress up/mike placement, etc). If I recall correctly, I probably watched a few fictional shows that went over the lives of child actors briefly and confirmed what I already thought they experienced. (One I recall, where they explore this topic a bit more in depth in between arcs here and there, is Kodomo no Omocha/Kodocha.)
    - I can only hope that by the time child actors grow up, they become at least semi-aware (through others or on their own) they need some basis for normal/healthy experiences for their mental/emotional growth and well-being.
    [Apologies for the disorganized comment (my thoughts keep cutting off as I get interrupted or try to recall memories)]
    - Being neurodivergent and having heightened awareness/senses, I had mostly different experiences growing up compared to my peers. I didn’t receive the validation I needed, and I often noticed adult trickery/mockery (and called it out…which led to being labelled as a problem child).
    - There were parts I was immature and uneducated about, but I largely had the right idea about my identity and morals/ethics as a child. But being neurodivergent and a child in the presence of adults who largely conformed to neurotypical and allo/amatonormative standards, I was subjected to a whole lot of invalidation, belittlement, conversion, ego destruction (?), etc.
    (I’ve only come to reclaim my identity and understanding of the world a few years ago. It’s been a lot of work and really tough realizing the world knew little to nothing about me, but still tried to mold me into a shape that wasn’t befitting myself.)
    I’ve always struggled with how adults told me to look past wrongdoings (micro/macro, moral/ethical, legal/illegal) and how to handle such occurrences (turning a blind eye/engaging in it). I don’t think everything’s worth pursuing or punishing to a legal degree, but there are so many things in the world that are mishandled by adults/society that keep happening and continue to get worse because people won’t address those issues (and worse yet, don’t allow others to make change around them).
    Sometimes people don’t want to do anything because of power dynamics. Sometimes it’s laziness, sometimes it’s “too much” to untangle. Sometimes it’s not “their problem.” There is always some excuse, some justification for putting children’s lives in peril/harm’s way (short/long term, physical/mental/emotional) as an expense for the older generation comfort/society’s structural integrity. [I don’t know if I worded that right, but my brain is frying right now…I seem to have gone off tangent and can’t get back on at the moment so this is what I’m leaving it at 😑]
    - On a separate note, I would like to add a bit about relating to acting as a neurodivergent person. I always found acting interesting since almost all children do “act” at some point before reaching adulthood. There’s playacting/roleplaying/imitating those they admire…just usually not in a professional/paid sense. But before neurodivergent people master “masking” to a decent degree, they’re seen as awkward/unnatural/unnerving because they tend do it from an observational perspective (which is not seen as cute/endearing in comparison to neurotypical peers who tend to “act” in this manner through improvisation/spontaneity).

  • @Lalayolo
    @Lalayolo Před 9 měsíci +26

    Wow!👀 outstanding insight. I’ve never heard someone put this into words. Love that you’re spreading awareness and helping people understand! We are all human.

  • @teadrinkerfication9160
    @teadrinkerfication9160 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I wanted so bad to be a child actor as a child, now as an adult I feel so grateful that I wasn’t

  • @Lainey97
    @Lainey97 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Your perspective is SO honest and refreshing! THANK YOU ☺️ it’s so important we start talking about why people are the way they are instead of pointing the finger and judging.

  • @Chachixo
    @Chachixo Před 9 měsíci +1

    I appreciate the discussion about the psychology of being a Person in public - it's a very different experience, one that I personally found made it easier to disassociate and be manipulated in as a grown woman. It's pretty chilling to think of a kid going through any version of that, especially on the internet where there are very few opportunities for third parties to step in and help.

  • @Lettheflamesbeginx3
    @Lettheflamesbeginx3 Před 9 měsíci +1

    He taught you humility 🥺

  • @KathBorup
    @KathBorup Před 4 měsíci

    I love what you say at 14:46. A lot of regular people never get that encouragement from parents or at their jobs but it has such a profound impact! Feeling like your efforts are appreciated and rewarded.

  • @leahstaub1874
    @leahstaub1874 Před 6 měsíci

    It's amazingly heartbreaking that society can view these kids as purely selfish and entitled, and that even the kids believe they are superior, at times....in reality, they're simply being used to supply the demand of every human's urge for entertainment, even the humans who simultaneously feel these children are attaining something they don't deserve. Mind fuck.

  • @94starfruit
    @94starfruit Před 9 měsíci +1

    Looove! Because these are weekly episode, make them longer please! The agony of the weekly wait !😢

  • @shelbeyroeder6167
    @shelbeyroeder6167 Před 9 měsíci

    My perspective is completely changed.....its so disheartening that children in our society are used and abused rather than kept safe and left to just be children

  • @amywilson7540
    @amywilson7540 Před 8 měsíci

    It's been so fascinating to hear Alyson's stories, as well as the stories of all these other former 2000s teen stars who've resurfaced recently (Jennette McCurdy, Christy Carlson Romano, etc.). You can make fun of these people for being wash-ups and has-beens if you want, but IMO they come across as much more authentic and levelheaded than some of their peers who still have big careers as adults.

  • @bdictjames
    @bdictjames Před 9 měsíci +1

    Very well-spoken. Never thought I'd get emotional from an issue that I am removed from (not a child actor, never thought about acting), but I almost teared up. I caught myself though! Lol. But I feel sad for the people involved. You seem very wise, and again, very well-spoken. Kudos. All the best.

  • @RawrItsLaur77
    @RawrItsLaur77 Před 9 měsíci

    Loving this series! So well done, great job Alyson

  • @talulasaur
    @talulasaur Před 9 měsíci

    i love this series so much - been waiting for it every week. such an interesting topic that deserves way more attention than it gets, and it's great to see it from the POV of somebody who's lived through it. incredible work

  • @Khamida21
    @Khamida21 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Alyson, thank you for this!
    I love that you mentioned the difference in how people treat celebrities vs. non-famous people which I think is not talked about enough. It's super refreshing to hear from your perspective that you clearly gave a lot of thought.
    I live in Japan, where sometimes I see local celebrities walking on the streets without people intruding on their space, at least in my experience.
    A few days ago, I saw a model guy in the gym I used to follow as a teen. I was shocked for a few seconds that I actually saw someone I used to idolize, but at the same time, I was happy I was not a teenager anymore where this "halo effect" kicks in, and you think there is a divine creature in front of you. Cause if you think about it, he also came to the gym to mind his own business. Like others. And I don't really know him besides the images I saw on IG.
    Though I got a few comments from circles about why I never approached this guy "to take a chance," I am happy I remained non-intrusive and minded my business with friends I know lol.
    Would love to hear more about your perspective on fan behaviour!

  • @iwasntreadyforitall
    @iwasntreadyforitall Před 9 měsíci

    This series is so important, thank you Alyson for sharing your experiences and putting all of this together

  • @ketkim8821
    @ketkim8821 Před 9 měsíci +1

    This is so trauma informed and so accessible. Thank you

  • @timogloor5041
    @timogloor5041 Před 9 měsíci

    I’m so hooked to this series/podcast! Love ittttt, waited all day for this 🧡🥰

  • @yobohobo333
    @yobohobo333 Před 9 měsíci

    Really loving this series so much. There's a lot we can learn in the extremes of child performers lives. Thinking a lot about the questions you asked, had to listen to them two times over!

  • @courtneyunderwood6034
    @courtneyunderwood6034 Před 8 měsíci

    “You’re ELEVEN.” 😂😂😂😂 I CRACKED UP!!!

  • @sharayahh
    @sharayahh Před 9 měsíci

    Love the way you articulate during these intense interviews on such a touchy subject. It makes it so easy to digest and it really has me looking at this in a whole new light. I’m so glad you’ve taken the position to take a deep dive into this part of American culture, and hopefully some changes can be made as I used to be one of the kids who would’ve loved to be a child star not knowing how crazy and how unregulated it is. And how much the kids aren’t protected and then thrust into adulthood and basically forced by the public to be perfect when that’s damn near impossible based on how life was for you and any other child star. This is deeply interesting and I really hope others speak up and something positive comes from this. Keep up the hard work! You’re doing so well.

  • @rachelmackenzie6730
    @rachelmackenzie6730 Před 9 měsíci

    This has been a wonderful series! Beautifully presented and written, it has really opened my eyes ! ❤