Things I wish I didn't buy as a foster parent
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- čas přidán 15. 09. 2023
- Here are some things I dont love - what do you think? 😅🤷♀️
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It's okay to write kids' books about dogs or dragons, but then the entire family has to be dogs or dragons, in my opinion. This feels very alienating. "You're fundamentally different from us" is not a good message.
I agree. Foster children already (naturally) feel so out of place in a new home, and it isn't good to reinforce that idea.
I've seen other books in the dragon series that use the difference well - by having the "different" character struggle with anger/poor manner/etc, it allows children to more easily remove themselves from the situation and look objectively. But I agree, having the dragon be the fister character was a poor choice. It might have made more sense for him to meet a foster child. Sounds like a case of the series theme limiting what topics it can reasonably cover well.
@@Izzy-cp8ytI have a lot of those books for my daughter. I didn’t buy this one but I thought it was about the dragon meeting foster kids in the neighborhood. Hearing it about the dragon himself is disappointing since they did drop the ball on that one.
I feel like in some cases having one character be a different species or all characters be different can definitely be a good thing as it highlights differences being accepted. That being said in a book about adoption its clearly the wrong approach. Like seriously this book clearly wasnt well thought through and on such a sensitive topic as well.
Or even a family of dragons who fosters/adopts a puppy to approach the basic idea of interracial adoption/fostering.
I LOVE how you don’t tolerate comparing animals and creatures to foster children. Some people might argue that it’s supposed to be “cute” and that your criticism is overthinking, but it’s not true. These types of stories affect out perceptions of foster kids without realizing it and portray them as strange or even “outsiders”. Making the rest of the family humans made it so much worse.
Yep, like are there similarities between fostering kids and fostering pets? Yeah. But there's also similarities between lions and sharks, or literally any other two things on the planet. So many books seem to assume that similarities is all you need for a good story, and well, it's not.
Or might even affect how the kiddos see themselves
If you want to make the foster kid a dog, then make the whole family dogs!
@@hannahk1306Or at the very minimum, other non-human animals! If the whole world is various animal people and a family of cats is fostering a dog, I think that still hits very differently from humans fostering a dog. If you cross the species barrier, you have to commit to going all the way, or you wind up singling out and dehumanizing foster kids
I'm a bit oversensitive in the other direction actually - I believe animals (in general, not only dogs) are seen as too far from humans and they don't get the empathy and basic respect they deserve. So I cannot really agree with a rhetoric that implies they are lesser since that is continuously causing so many atrocities and needless cruelties to be committed daily.
HOWEVER, if a foster child has had bad experiences and has felt dehumanised before, I completely agree that this book should not be read by them. I found the content of it online and I can imagine that for some kids it might be triggering while for others it might be cathartic to see (parts of) their experience represented in a less direct way. Honestly, even if we completely disregard the dog vs. child aspect, I still think not all foster kids would benefit from it, especially since it showcases a fair amount of negative self-perception (I was crying for the majority of it lol).
Thank you for considering reunification. It is often so overlooked as so many mothers out here who have their child adopted against their will.
Yes! And I also think it’s important for a child to understand the foster care process (in a developmentally appropriate way)
As someone who was in foster care ( as a baby) and was later adopted , I think it’s important to teach older kids in foster care about
- adoption
- reunification
- why they are getting adopted rather then being reunificaed ( sorry for spelling) or why they are being reunificaed rather then adopted
- reassure them
😁😁😁👍👍👍
@@doyoueverwonderjustwhy2003I think "reunified" is the word you're looking for. (No shade, only love. 😊)
@@Kira_Martel
That’s the word I mean 😅😅😅
Couldn’t remember how to spell it so I just guessed and got it horribly wrong 😂😂😂😂😂
Reunification is ultimately the best for the child ( statistically) if the parent can embrace necessary change. Sadly many will not.
The invisible string is a great book for foster children. It shows that love is present even when a parent, friend, etc isn’t physically present. Could apply to foster parents if the child goes home too to help with attachment
@@zoundstreetopChildren don’t only end up in the foster care system if they’re abused. They could have a great relationship with one or both parents and still very much love and miss them, but there can be circumstances where they end up in foster care. This is a great option for those kids.
@@zoundstreetopconflating narcissists and abusers, opinion discarded.
@@zoundstreetopYou’re presenting all people with children who wind up in a difficult situation with abusive, self-serving, loveless monsters, and that doesn’t do a lot of good for kids either.
Black and white thinking doesn’t help anybody, and it is beneficial for children to learn the reality/nuance of life, like
“Your parents didn’t provide you the life you deserved, but it’s not because they didn’t love you, it’s because they’re damaged human beings who didn’t have the capacity to give you what you needed”, which is the truth a lot of the time.
Nobody said
“Give this book to every foster child because it always applies” but it definitely would apply to some situations so it’s good to know about.
@@zoundstreetopvery true some books don’t fit all situations. I think in this case the book would be better when parents are hoping for reunion or if the child feels love for their parents this might be a good way to help them adjust to their new home while keeping that connection of love
@@zoundstreetopMaybe it's a better book for the kids in which parents taking them back is actually possible/a good idea, or where the parents are dead
If the foster books were like a dog family fostering a dog or a chicken family fostering a dragon, I could see it working better - differences are ok, but don’t have the foster kid be the only non human, it literally dehumanizes them even if it’s intended to be cute. Actually dogs fostering different breeds of dogs from them would kind of be perfect - like maybe the family after border collies or chihuahuas and the foster dog (kid) is a drastically different type of dog with different beds due to size, history, personality, etc and the dogs have to work out how different experiences and personalities require different workarounds but ultimately the dog family just wants to help their new pup, whatever the end goal for the pup (reunification, adoption, etc)
BRB off to write a series of children’s book about a chihuahua and a border collie who take in a labradoodle. I’m imagining a book on how different coats she’d different and require different care (cultural, familial, etc hair dynamics since that’s a big thing that often gets treated as small in fostering and different hair textures and styling play well into differences between dog fur and dog hair and short vs long hair/fur), a book about fears visiting a new vet, a book on fears about doggy school, a book on missing mom or dad and maybe visiting them at the park…
hey if you write it ill make the art for it
My biggest complaint with foster care books is that most of them end in adoption (or a vague "forever"). It ends up with a very confusing message, especially for those like one of my current children, who are already convinced parents are lying about everything related to reunification and trying to get the kids back.
If you wouldn't mind me adding on, not all kids in foster care end up reuniting with their parents or getting adopted.
One of my long time friends was one of those kids. She aged out of care.
Kids go into foster care for a reason they should never go back to parents unless parents where sick or in hospital ect
@@acgraphics1139This is an extremely ignorant fundamental misunderstanding of what foster care is.
@@acgraphics1139 That's got to be one of the most ignorant things I've ever heard. Overall, reunification has the best results across the board as far as children's mental health and success in life
@@acgraphics1139you realize kids can go into foster care for multiple reasons, right??? YOU are part of the problem and stigma on foster care. Just because a kid is in foster care doesn't mean their parents were bad, or didn't love them, or any other reason
My mom regretted stocking up on things you wouldn’t think are personal (pillows and bedding, rugs, toothbrushes, hairbrushes, night lights, and especially anything used by kids 12+) in “generic” form because she said it gave her too much of a “group home” energy 😅. Also sometimes kids get very upset if you try to say something like “this new pillow is better”. Also- Tupperware and meal prep supplies! Just wasn’t our thing.
A friend of mine is a foster mom and she has a couple genetic bedsheets and rugs as back ups, and she makes sure the kids know she has them, but she tries her best to let them personalize. She holds the generic ones so kids aren't afraid if they get in have an accident or spill/break something. They know "it won't be taken away you'll just get a backup untill we get this cleaned/replaced" and they can still kinda match it to their stuff a little.
Oh goodness, I couldn't imagine generic versions of those items. As a tiny child, all of those things are your friends, almost. Even when I housesit now as an adult, I take my pillow and blankets with me, even though the home I'm going to is plenty supplied with their own. I'm just not comfortable without them.
@@MeredithTarkingtonFFDC Right?? I’m a full grown woman and take my blanket and pillow to hotels. They weren’t stark white or anything but just plain. We got more colorful things and a bin of squishmallows to choose from and things like that.
I'm a grown adult who took my own pillow on holiday with me because it's the most comfortable pillow I've ever had and a weird shape so no normal pillow feels like it.
I'd be annoyed if someone tried to convince me a normal pillow was better than mine if I didn't have mine, can't imagine how a kid who just lost almost everything would feel if people were trying to convince them that all this new stuff was better their their old stuff.
Probably similar to a sock bin, but I have heard that putting a heavy duty mesh wash bag in each room for socks, and then washing and drying everyone's socks in their own bag can be helpful if you're trying to keep the socks separate (like not confuse one child's socks with the others).
I know you really emphasize everything a foster child owns going back home with them, I think that could make it easier for foster parents who also have bio children with similar foot sizes.
Yes!!! Love that idea!!
I do this as an adult just to make laundry easier. I've got a hook on the wall near my laundry basket spot that has three bags on it for socks, anything else small I don't want going in the dryer and delicate stuff. The bags rest on the floor, the hook just holds them upright so they're easy to fill. Makes laundry so much easier, no digging through the pile to put in bags, just zip, drop in basket and go to the washing machine.
Yes!!! My kids wear similar sizes and this helps so much!
I don't have any need for this yet but I'm trying to store this in my brain so I remember when I do need this hack! 😊
I use mesh bags for my socks that cannot be put in the dryer and definitely suggest them as an option for keeping each person's items together but separated.
For bento boxes, get the traditional style ones, with a lid that fits over the top. That is the main style of lid in Japan, even back 20 years ago when I was in Japan. To keep food fresh, well there is no magic box. Each fruit and vegetable have their own rules about how to keep them. Buying less ripe can help you extend your fruits. It's slowly starting to catch on to package bananas with 7 different levels of ripeness. It's so that each day you will have a banana that is ripe. If you have a couple of mouths to feed every morning, buying bunches of bananas with different ripeness can do the job without any spoiling (who am I kidding it's for banana bread and muffins)
😂😂😂😂😂 who am I kidding? Same here.
The problem with packaging ripe bananas with unripe ones is they put off a gas that ripens the other bananas faster, same is true for foods like onions/potatoes. You should never store onions near bananas
OXO and Rubbermaid have containers that slow spoilage by absorbing ethylene gas. Green bags work on the same principle. They slow the town prices and keep produce fresh longer. Not magic, just science. 😊
Yea, making banana bread is a great way to use overripe bananas.
10/10 recommend.
My son uses the "Bentgo" brand of Bento boxes. He's had them for 4 years now, and they work great. They're also easy for me as the one who washes them. They're only two pieces.
I wish there was a book about aging out of the system. A lot of laws were implemented right after I got out of foster care. That helped me the transition a little bit easier in California, but I don't think they applied. All states like being able to go to college but still live with your foster parent, or like the questions to ask your social worker like? Hey can I get a job? How do I get a license? What can I do to learn to drive? What does it take to be a normal functioning member of society? type of questions.
I mean like just searching for a dentist right now is causing me too much anxiety. I can't. I haven't been to the dentist in years.... But I pay for dental insurance 😅
Ask local friends about what Dentist they see and why they like them. ❤
I live in the UK and am still in care at the age 16. I’ve been with my foster parents (to me they’re just my mum and dad) for over 6 years and it’s been the best case scenario for me. Aging out of the system while staying in care is really common in the UK as people often go in care too old to be adopted and with terrible parents.
Ask your insurance what dentists in your area are covered. Check their hours and their reviews (to make sure they aren't scamming people), then pick the closest that works for you.
The process for when foster kids age out needs to be revised heavily cause most kids in all states but especially California end up on the streets.
Cali gets the most funding for foster care out of any state and yet majority of their aged out kids ended up homeless. Because the money meant to take care of these older kids gets pocketed by group homes or foster parents and there’s never enough programs for these kids to learn financial literacy how to build credit and how to rent an apartment there also aren’t many homes for teens 16 and up let alone apartments for foster youth.
And nobody teaches these kids how to drive they usually learn from friends or family and that’s if they even have access to that.
It’s kinda fucked the laws are just barley changing for the better or for extended care within THP housing aka foster care apartments for older youth 18 and up but that’s still not enough 18-20 is a not an adult those years are very fragile transition years from teen to adult your not really ready until 22-25 not saying they need to be in care that long but it puts into perspective you can’t just throw these kids out to the world with no guidance or not enough prep for that shit.
Hell yeah! Amazing point!
i dont think youre too picky about books! I think its super smart and is a great way to look out for your foster kids!
No if you have never been in foster care or adopted then you don't get how much it hurts.
@@shannonhensley2942I think they meant that they agree with what she’s saying about the book. It really does alienate foster kids and I can totally see how that would hurt. I wish you well❤
@@shannonhensley2942 you read the comment completely wrong.
My opinion likely isn't that helpful because I have no relevant experience, but I absolutely agree. I feel so different from everyone else because of being neurodivergent (and some other stuff but mainly that), and I absolutely hate it when I see neurodivergent people portrayed as being non-human in any way. Looking back to when I was younger, the way neurodivergent coded characters are often othered definitely made it harder for me to embrace who I am.
I was never a foster child but I was abused and I already felt so different. Feeling different is very bad for long term mental health because basically you end up feeling like a freak. I love how sensitive you are to the needs of the children you care for. You're an inspiration to me.
I think you’re 100% in the right about the books. It reminds me a lot of how people used to think orphans had somehow deserved or earned their lot in life, that they were just these “others” who were naturally meant for a worse life. Basically, if you want a kid to grow up feeling included, don’t start off with “you’re just a completely different species from the people who “love” you!”
Or like how some people talk about people with autism, as though we’re some entirely different type of human just because our brains work differently than theirs. You can acknowledge that others experience the world differently than than you without making our brains seem like some special, magical, perfect place to be.
@@someonesomewhere9115 or when we try to warn them “I might react to something differently than a non-autistic person would” and they brush you off right until you have a different reaction and they act shocked and wonder what’s wrong. Like I literally tried to warn you but I guess I’ll explain AGAIN.
@@OhSkyeLanta
True, or when you yourself don’t know that your behavior is caused by your autism (or other ND condition), and you wonder what’s wrong you that you can’t meet other people’s standards for how you should behave. Personally I have time blindness, and I had no idea that not everyone does. I spent a while wondering why I can’t get my shit together enough to arrive anywhere on time. Turns out, it’s common in people with autism and ADHD. I still need to work on it, but at least I know why it’s so hard for me.
@@someonesomewhere9115 SAAAAAAME!!! Sometimes all you know is that something doesn’t feel right, that you feel like you’re being outpaced. When I told the psychiatrist my doctor recommended what was happening, he agreed I had “textbook autism on the higher functioning scale” and once we had eliminated bipolar as a possibility, he agreed it was pretty much “textbook ADHD” as well. After YEARS of my mother telling me “no there’s nothing wrong with you, someone else would have told us you were by now.” Even after getting my formal diagnosis, she still doesn’t understand.
I used to teach foster parenting classes due to my experience with aging out of care. I agree that Murphy's three homes is not the best book and does closely compare fostering with adopting a new dog.
The Invisible String is a great book. I would reccomend this book all the time and created an activity for the children in our childcare room to have this book read and have them make their own page with all their important connections connected by a string of yarn. Pets included since many children don't only lose their parents, but their pets as well.
As a New Zealander, I am very happy to see that the Sistema made in NZ lunchbox works for you! 😂 Also I have that lunchbox myself and it is great 👍👍
I love the brand! It feels like they size everything for actual food we eat 😅 so glad I found them!
It's a great brand! We have full-day kindergarten here, and my youngest is born late in the year, so he needed to be able to open his lunch dishes at three. There weren't actually that many brands he could manage on his own. (The teachers will help of course, but there's a lot of kids in the class, and I didn't want him to have to wait.)
Yes! I lived in New Zealand and used Sistema Tupperware. We got it in our stores a couple years ago I was so stoked to see it!
I have that lunchbox and I agree. It’s my favorite. It fits everything really well while not being clunky or hard to use
I have that lunchbox too!
Your opinion is spot on. It’s surprising how much emotional maturity it takes to understand that some children don’t want to be adopted into your family and to not talk about them like they’re a pet. ❤❤❤
I absolutely agree with your opinion on the books and dont think you are being too picky. I feel like foster children are already feeling like they are intruding in a home, or dont quite fit. Comparing them to dogs or monsters is definitely not going to help that.
I love that you pay attention to these types of things because it's part of what makes your home a safe place. 👍
I found reusable bags like IKEA's version of ziploc bags helps keep my food fresher for longer. I buy usually 4/5 pears and 3 bell peppers to snack on during the week and I seal them up in IKEA bags and put them in the fridge and they're still just as good on day 7. That's just my experience though.
Thank you so much for sharing! My husband and I are childless by choice but we've discussed fostering now that we own a home. Subscribed for more content!
That’s sweet that you think that deeply about their feelings. From years of unstable homes, they can sometimes be super sensitive out of a survival mentality. So they do pick up on these things. I know. I was a foster kid. Those books wouldn’t have been my faves.
Rather than clips, I use laundry bags. Small to medium sized ones are great for socks!
I like to wrap my veggies/fresh produce in paper towels before I put them in the fridge. The paper towels absorb excess moisture, which makes the veggies last a lot longer. I know it feels wasteful to use so much paper, but it saves a lot of food that would otherwise go bad.
I've just started doing that too, it's not wasteful, just put into compost or if you don't have one just bury it in the garden.
Could you use tea towels, wash and reuse? Old growth trees are being cut down to make kitchen roll and the like, some food waste is probably preferable
@@vacafuega She probably should since paper towels are toxic from the bleaching.
@@user-tr3bz1ft6q Paper towels are not toxic. There's no evidence to support that, don't worry. They're perfectly safe to come into contact with food.
@@etta5487 while the paper towels don’t contaminate the food, it isn’t advisable to throw them in the compost, or even worse, bury them in the garden, because of the bleach and chemicals they contain. I think that’s what they were referring to ❤️
Thank you for being realistic about comparing children to dogs. The amount of people online that genuinely believe it’s the same thing worries me
I’m not sure if this will help at all, but the way I keep my produce fresh is taking whatever I bought out the container, washing and drying them, and placing a paper towel on the bottom of the container before putting the produce back in. It helps absorb any extra moisture that could attract bugs/cause mold
This may be obvious to some, but store your produce the way it was kept at the store - if they had it open at room temp, do the same. If they had misters in a cooler, stick it in the crisper drawer in the fridge alongside a damp dish towel. They're in the business of not losing their stock! Let them figure it out for you.
A fantastic Book for Foster kids is One For The Murphys for older teens I read it and I'm not in foster care or adopted or anything but I fell in love with it. ❤
I have no idea about fostering or the foster care system. I just watch your videos because of the kindness and consideration you have for kids. I wish I had that growing up.
I would love your take on the foster family on Sesame Street!
Exactly children are not dragons or dogs they’re people and should be depicted as such. Have you done a video on books you do recommend?
That one is coming soon!:)
As someone who was treated like an alien dropped into a family that never respected anything about me. We really do have to stop treating adoption or fostering like we treat a dog adoption. It's not cute. We are all people.
Not to mention there is a whole lot more work that goes into child fostering than dog fostering and a dog in foster care will always end in adoption. A child in foster care may get adopted, age out of the system, or be reunited with their parents
I have similar experiences. Sorry that happened to you.
I have that exact same bento box for my kiddo. I love all the little compartments and the removable screw lid container, and even my extremely weak preschooler could open it
I actually LOVE my sock clips! They shouldn't be that hard to open, and yes, they are a game changer for me.
Use glass mason jars for your berries helps tremendously
I think ... you should write a children's book about fostering. You are very insightful and always thoughtful/sensitive to thier complex needs, and you know how fostering really works, realistic expectations etc. Your skills and knowledge help the people in your real life and here online. You're a great advocate and resource for foster families and potential foster families.
The rubbermaid produce keeper with the white and green lid I found on Amazon actually do work! I have tried a number of "keep fresh" containers, and those are the ones I have found so far that actually do the best to extend my veggies shelflife.
What children’s books on fostering, do you suggest?
That’s a good question! Interested in a video for this
Maybe days or kids need to be safe
They said in another comment that they are doing a video on this soon! /info
Thank you. I’ve seen to many people try to compare adopting children to adopting pets. It’s nothing a like and is absolutely horrible to a child’s self esteem.
Great insight to the book. Agree 💯%. You have taught me soooo much. God bless you.
Thank you for supporting reunification with parents! A lot of the time it felt like our social worker didnt and wanted nothing more then to keep us away from our parents
Those plastic produce boxes could work if you make sure to clean the produce with vinegar and water before totally drying.❤
You should totally write a children’s book on fostering! I agree with you assessment of both books!
For socks I use delicate bags! 10/10 don’t over fill it and it should be ok!
I have watched several of your videos and am amazed about how well you treat the kids....a childhood spent mostly in the foster care I know from experience that can be rare..... You're amazing 😊
Rubbermaid makes great "produce" saver containers. Also, Debbie meyer makes produce savers. Both of these brands truly keep your produce fresh for longer.
I think fostering books should have two endings.... one where the child is adopted and one where the child is reunited with the parent.
As for the sock clip, i bought craft clips at Dollar Tree and they worked.
Clear containers are great for keeping track of art supplies and toiletries.
In the kitchen you can use them to organize things like dry marinade mixes and seasoning packs for things like tacos.
They are awesome. Just not for keeping produce fresh.
Can I just say this started out for me as a simply I regret video and as you went on and shared the books and I checked your channel out I teared up. It’s so nice to see someone who can share resources on this topic without exploiting the children and especially talking about how foster can be for reunification etc. some of these channels out here anymore break my heart. But this one? Get it “right” providing resources content some light hearted humor and most importantly all while holding respect. Immediately subbed. Pardon my paragraph
Key to keeping produce fresh ive found is regular fridge cleanings. A simple wiping down between restocking or between refilling one area can help. The thought is to keep the bad bacteria out.
That purple bento box that she liked-yeah we have 2 of those and we love them. So easy to clean. The compartments are customizable. Great pick 😅😂
you are right about the books that’s so obvious. The comparison to pets is so strong. You are the expert!
Exactly. I have friends who were sexually, physically and emotionally abused by parents and grandparents and they often seek reunification. One friend in particular was sexually abused by her grandmother, grandfather and both parents and 3/4 refused to reunify or admit what they did and the grandmother she was close to as a child and the abuse happened at age 6 and again at age 14 and again at age 16 and she desired to reunify after her grandmother got psychiatric help and she became very attached to the point she didn’t want anyone but her around when she was scared or upset. She wasn’t groomed or anything but she did suffer from wounded attachment. She’s elderly and we are no longer friends due to her bipolar causing delusions. Another friend was sexually abused by her dad and grandfather and she reunified with them successfully and has a healthy relationship now. So yeah some people want reunification. As much as it might seem strange to us, for some people they want to make the relationship work to a healthy point again. The offender also can’t live with them unless they a safety plan is in place and they are constantly supervised by a live in associate typically. It seems odd to me that a sexual abuse victim would want a family member like that back in their life but everybody’s different I guess 🤷♀️
About the sock clips…. Best solution is to get a mesh laundry bag (sometimes called a delicates bag) and put all the dirty socks in there. This way none get lost in the wash and it makes the sorting afterwards a breeze because you aren’t digging through the whole pile. The mesh bag could even be clipped or safety pinned onto a regular hamper for ease between laundry days.
instead of sock clips, try putting all the socks in a mesh bag. doesn’t make it as easy but it does make it a little easier
Glass containers will keep produce fresher longer. You can add paper or reusable towels to help with condensation.
Wizzpeg sock clips are my go to brand. They're easy to open and are safe to go through the washing machine. (They also have a clip so you can easily hang them on a washing line)
Glass jars (old pasta sauces or jam etc) are perfect for keeping strawberries fresh!
I had no idea sock clips were a thing. 😅
I hope the silver lining here is you writing your own book(s)! 💖
My sister and her husband are/were both in the military and when they were in boot camp/a ship everyone got this little mesh laundry bag that they’d put their socks/I think underwear in so they didn’t get mixed in with everyone else’s although I don’t know how the rest of their laundry worked but they did that and they did that for the longest time with a lot of my nephews socks and other super tiny stuff. You could do that with the socks 🤷♀️
There are ways to keep produce fresh. Carrots keep them in water in the fridges to keep them crunchy. Things like lettuce you want to keep dry so wrap them in a cloth or palate towel and put them in a bag and take all the air out. I put cilantro and green onion types in a cup/jar with a little water at the bottom. Keep certain things on certain levels of the fridge.
I find strainers with covers are great at keeping produce fresh. Not just a strainer, anything that has holes that allow for some air circulation
Totally agree on the bento boxes. Those who claim to be liquid proof are hard to oben and tend to squish fingers in the hinge. Also love Sistema!
If you’re looking for something that does keep produce fresher, glass jars can work for smaller things. Fruits and small vegetables do very well in sealed glass jars, even fruits that mold very quickly like strawberries and raspberries last for much longer.
Best bento box for pre-k to 2nd grade is the Bentgo brand. Each section is watertight, and the clasp is easy to open and close!
My boys outgrew ours, now we use that Sistema one and it's great!
Safety pins for socks, you can get a lot of them for cheap and they are easy to open and close, and they don’t come loose in the washer dryer 👌🏼
I completely agree with your call on the books. Children zone in on what they relate to, and you never know with stuff like that. They could easily take it as being dehumanizing. They are smart and in tune. Good on you for noticing. I love seeing this, I work in the social work/nonprofit sector. And there are so few people that take children seriously. Especially traumatized children.
For socks we have a "sock dock", which is a loop of rope with sliding toggles. Everyone in the house has their own, so socks go through the wash in it and stay together.
I like the Rubbermaid Freshworks containers. Also OXO Good Grips Greensaver is another option. They're designed to absorb ethylene gas to keep produce fresh longer. I hope this helps.
Instead of bento boxes, we always used small tackle boxes. Just as effective, but in my experience easier to open and you can really sort and separate your foods (which my autism appreciates)
I think buying and vetting kids books is a very important part of parenting. Although those books weren't great it shows you're trying to both expand their minds and protect them from a negative image. Although those books were maybe mistakes the process is I'm sure incredibly rewarding.
I’m a dog fosterer, and I completely agree! Humans are not dogs, they show a lot more emotion and trauma through fostering. But I think it’s ok to weigh the books about dogs and dragons getting for stewed because it’s just a book
I believe you are accurate about the books. The messages could make an already fragile child question their actual importance.
I think with the books sometimes it’s easier to relate to a pet (animal or fantasy character) than it is to another child when you have been through a lot.
Love that you openly say we want to step away for this and explain why. Im adopted and education this the first step yo people understand why foster is important ❤❤❤
Socks are the worst part of my life! This is how I tried to make it easier, since we have 4 ppl with different size socks. Use linen washing bags (the ones usually used for bras… so each family members socks stay together…
Thank you for validating my decision not to spend money on any of that.
Love how you normalize reasonable behavior and expectations... especially around communication and in this case book media!
Ive always wanted to write and especially books for children with topics like foster care, post partum, mental health, addiction recovery, stuff like that. I wrote a story when I was about 7 or 8 called "When I See My Dad Again" and my teacher and principal told me I should write books about kids going through rough stuff and it always stuck with me. I made a post partum book and one about what i was doing to be a better mom for my own children while they were in foster care and the mom asked if she could make a copy for her home. It has me toying with the idea again but i dont have any professional knowledge about that.
The bento box she said was good I've had for over 3 years and they are amazing !! Even when my kids left them at school and they got moldy the smell came right out, stains come right out, they are so easy to clean and if the top does pop off you just pop it back in and it won't pop off again. Very big but it comes with sm inside its so worth it
Try the green bags and make sure to properly wash if needed to then store in bags as grapes arent good to wash till your about to eat them but strawberry you should wash right away and soak as it can provent them spoiling faster before adding to storage.
I have that exact same bento box and like you, I hated the others, but like that one. In fact, i love it ❤ i also love that i can take the "dividers" out and the different options to use them is awesome 😊
Best way to not lose socks, I buy the mesh laundry bags that are usually used for delicates. I buy one for each family member, and they place their socks in the bag. On laundry day they go in the wash. I just hand the bigger kids their bags for them to put the socks together, and I put the littles socks together. Been the biggest game changer on laundry day.
I got EcoOne lunch containers* from Grocery Outlet and they seal so well that running 20 minutes to work with them bouncing in my backpack never spilled my soups or sauces😮😮😮
* Collapsible silicone with square o-ring & snap lid. Most won't keep liquids out of the other divisions, but will do solids. Oh - and they come with a double-ended spoon-fork in the lid.
Instead of sock clips, I use safety pins - keeps the two socks together in the wash, easy to open, and I don’t have to sort mismatched socks.
I agree with the lunchbox, we literally use this brand exclusively, because they are easy top Open, easy top Clean an come in a variety of different options, like with cups for yoghurt, compartments fitting a hole Sandwich or a half and Most important for me, everything stays in place and does not geht mashed up in the box
I am a registered therapy dog handler and did READ Reading educational assistance dog.
The books we read were science, fun, and the fav was the dog books. I found they related to the dogs. The dogs were not seen as a pet but part of the pack. These dogs worked magic and could pick up on kids in emotional distress that were not even in the program but in the hall or in a class while picking up another child.
It depends on the child but a dog is not a pet but a member of the family that has feelings moods and rhe most important attachement. Kids not in the programs over the years are adults and still talk about rhe dog's by name and how unique they are. Attachment.
Just a different prospective after seeing so much unexpected or explained dog magic
Sock tip: put them in a laundry bag. I used one large bag for each person so they wouldn't get lost in the wash & the whole bag goes to just one person.
If you like bento boxes but can’t find a good one, I recommend trying an authentic one. They’re a lot simpler and easier both to clean and to open.
I wasn't fostered but adopted twice and moved for a short while to different family's homes because my mom was sick
In my current family I always felt different so I entirely agree that it's extremely important to pay attention to what a child is reading
I think you're a great foster mother for taking that into consideration
You should 💯% write a book for children in foster care and do not doubt for a second that it would be an amazing book. You can also write a book supporting foster parent to better equip themselves through the roller coaster that it can be and to do it for the right reasons not the wrong reasons.. if there were a million more of you out there the road would be a better place..
Just with the bento boxes, gotta agree with you on the sistema one. Ive a LOT of different boxes in my kitchen and sistema brand ones are my favourite
The bento boxes are meant to be used dry. Any form of moisture can speed up the growth of mold. Maybe line it with a paper towel for better results
As for socks, I roll all of mine together. Super easy to do, and you can just throw them into the drawer. And then you don’t have the extra space taken up by clips.
To keep fruit and stuff like that fresh just use a glass mason jar that you can seal they work very well also if you want to make your own pickles the jar is great for that ❤
I don't have any bento boxes, but I do quite like Sistema products, and as an Aussie I think the fact they're made in Aotearoa (New Zealand) is a bonus
I have been wondering about those strings with the slidy buttons on them to pair socks. Apparently they're supposed to be able to go through the washer and dryer.
The easiest might be to use a delicates bag for each person, they could stick their unders in there too to keep them safe/easily accessed/findable.
You want to keep your socks together, get a zippered pillow cover, use a safety pin to keep the zipper closed. Its really helpful if you have to use communal machines or the laundromat.
with thw sock you can just teach the kids to put them together and fold the top when putting in the laundry. or fold them like that yourself.
that way they stay together, without an annoying clip, and it saves time.
i dont have kids but i do it myself and it helps a lot😅
I agree with your criticism of the books. It would be refreshing to see a book about foster children being portrayed as children.
Theres a really great book about fostering called "sally's amazing chocolate cake" it was written by a foster carer (Bryony Farmer) and the book is focused on making a chocolate cake to take to school rather than being a foster child. its a great book for any child, fostered or not.
Thank you for saying this actually, society tends to compare the fostering of children too similarly to the fostering of animals.