Dax Shepard Wasn't Sure He Wanted to be with Kristen Bell
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- čas přidán 24. 01. 2019
- Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell don't seem like a good match on paper, and Dax thought the same thing when they first met, but he explains what it was that made such an unlikely pair work so well.
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Dax's self awareness is enviable. What a great guy.
Theres nothing enviable of self awareness..that just make you a more anxious and depressed person.
Yes 100%
Is enviable a good thing? lmao Oh my goodness gracious.
@@juliang-c4882 Thank you. I am painfully self aware. I would say it makes me kinder and more thoughtful, but also super anxious because I am constantly analyzing and processing everything I do. I've actually tried a few medications to ease it off will little success.
His recovery gave him that.
thumbs up for dax not giving a romantic and cheesy answer which is what people usually do, and being honest.
I thought that was totally romantic!
He questioned it, realized who she is and how amazing she is, realized she did the same with him, they both kept much of their good qualities but both gave each other strength and both improved being together more than being apart, and realized they fit. And he raised she's the only one who didn't tell him he's not enough as he is, nor did he do that to get.I think it's all totally romantic.
romantic and cheesy response on Dax's birthday show on Ellen, in case you haven't seen it yet.....
czcams.com/video/2cF-PXWt_bQ/video.html
So true ...like what a beautiful way to describe his relationship...instead of token dross we usually hear
wabisabi wabisabi thats why ppl like him and kristen theyre very real for celeb ppls i think
They are so emotionally intelligent with their relationship. Neat people.
What does that even mean?
Break it down: intelligent with their emotions. They don’t live a false fairy tale! I loved Galaxie Girls comment!!!
@@zapkvr that they approach their relationship from a sence of intellect and rationality, rather than being petty and irrational like most people's shitty relationships.
Spot on!!!!!
Actually, I think they really hate each other. Over the last year their dislike of each other is becoming more and more apparent to the point where I can't even imagine that they even love each other as they are always talking shit about each other and veiling their hatred for each other in the words "we are just being real" or "showing the not pretty side". They seem like super miserable people.
This interviewer is great, he let him talk, that's hard to find nowadays!
Nowadays? I think that's more widespread today than in the past tbh. Media formats and outlets have changed so much that this style is more permissible now. It didn't make sense on traditional tv and radio etc.
@@fe5018 I don't know, compared to mainstream interviewers such as jimmy fallon and ellen, this guy actually let him talk is what I'm saying...
Agreed. That's because most interviewers are there to hear themselves.
most late shows are meant for comedy interviews and not for some serious stuff and is also filmed in front of a live studio audience and they have to keep them entertained if the celebrity is taking too long to get to the punchline they just add a bit of reactions to let the mood be in effect and sometimes it's fake laughs. *it's kinda like a circus where everything Has to be funny.*
unlike this interview that is not meant to be funny but informative about the celebrity.
Fallon feels atacked right now, and he should. He should feel atacked and he also should shut the f*ck up.
sooooo what you're saying is, Dax Shepard = Eleanor Shellstrop, Kristen Bell = Chidi
Matthew Davis 😂😂 basically.
I really hope this comment get a hell of a lot more likes, it deserves it 😂
What?
Fair Enough.
This comment is AWESOME!
Also coild be Kristen is Anna and Dax is Kristoff
"She is the embodiment of all that is good and wonderful about women."
That's the best description of Kristen Bell I've ever heard.
she literally cheated on Robert Pattinson though??
@@canadariots1139 he is talking about kristen bell not kristen stewart.?
@@fatima_hussein i laughed so hard
@@canadariots1139 gold! 🤣🤣
@@canadariots1139 You got me wondering when she dated R pattinson 🤣🤣🤣 Wrong Kristen
Always marry someone who makes you want to be a better person, that's the lesson here
I did that. Im still growing to be a better person.
I am in a new rel and that's how I felt 😂💚❤
Melissa B 💯and keeps it real
Someone who makes you want to be a better person > Someone who wants to make you a better person.
Also: marry someone you feel comfortable farting in front of. That's super key
He´s actually describing something beautiful and that is accepting the other person as they are and then growing together.
3:20 "I chose to move more in her direction...She was the first person I dated that I didn't try to make into the person I wanted to date."
Dax Shepard FTW
Ikr, I'd never try to make a person I'm dating into the person I want to date, that's twisted, when I meet somebody and I realize tha he's not the rigth person for me, I'm honest and I end the relationship. And then keep seaching for the rigth person, on my own time.
What does ftw mean
@@scorpionsz7392 "For The Win"
@@Fraggr92 thanks!
That quote hit me. I've been with my fiance for almost 5 years, and that singular quote opened my eyes and made me realize that all my frustration was just that, I was trying to mold her to me, and getting mad when it wasn't working.
The personal honesty is refreshing.
"I slowly watched What Fruit She Bore out of the way she Moved Through Life". WOW
Yeah, he saw the big money fruits she bore.....He is the same as the other people he was talking about. He is mooching off her. He is a dick.
Esteban Kozak mooching off of her? Lol bro just lol they are married and they both do their own thing. Is that what you would say about a stay at home mom?
@@boomds5602 If she was married to Kristen Bell and acted like Dak Shepherd? You bet!!
Esteban Kozak It does sound very instrumental, maybe also related to how addicts reason.
he sounds like an ass
How do you get people to be so open? I’ve said it before, but these are the best interviews I have ever seen.
@Jeremy Boyd Thats pretty much it. Its not live television. He doesnt need to move things along to fit into an hour. So he can ask a question a really just let them run with it.
@@Makawav totally agree. Needing to create fast paced, perfectly-timed-for-commercials, "must watch"(I.e sensationalist) content that lures in advertisers at an upfront and hits all the right Nielsen numbers would likely be the death of so much of this wonderful insight.
@@Makawav the funny thing is, A LOT of the biggest podcast interviewers constantly interrupt their guests, eg Rogan
It’s like the Facebook page Humans of New York. Everyone has stories and most people want to tell them. Others just need to be quiet and listen.
@@laurensabino182 Fancy running into you here! I vividly remember you from the sourcefed days! Hope all is well :)
Hes all brain. Shes all heart. They are amazing together.
you have to be kidding with him being 'all brain'. average intelligence at best
The way I see it it's a matter of 'thinker' vs. 'feeler'. Don't confuse education with intelligence.
@@ekkusu amen
I know what you are saying. You don’t literally mean “all brain=genius.” You just mean he leads with his brain, she leads with her heart. Together, they balance each other out. Because of her, he has expanded emotionally. Because of him, she can be more open about her flaws. Agreed.
I hate that expression. He's all fear and she's all openness is a better way to put it. Stop talking about feelers like they don't use their brain as much
Dax is so much more interesting than I would have ever thought. Started listening to his podcast a couple months ago and it made me go from thinking he was a moron to really respecting him.
I think people really underestimate him because we know him from roles where he wasn't playing the brightest characters, but he's actually very wise.
What is his podcast called?
@@muimui150x Armchair Expert
muimui150x armchair expert
Evalynn fave podcast
That was an amazing answer. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Yes 💕🙏
So true I love how he says the fruits she boar
I normally hate celebrity stories, but this one was surprisingly real and down to earth. It's refreshing to hear such a genuine relationship story like this.
I am so happy they found each other. Two people so level headed that can understand people are individuals even in a partnership.
I get what you're saying, but I feel like when they talk about each other it's so clinical & matter of fact. It doesn't seem like passionate love.
Coupled with the fact that they have both talked about breaking up (and did) and how they weren't even sure they wanted each other, it's not the best love story.
@@FLdancer00 life isn't a Disney movie glad they're honest because it means there's something to stick it out for otherwise they wouldve broken up permanently. Life isn't always Disney like but they love and communicate well and that's all that matters
@@FLdancer00 Prince William and Kate broke up too and were not sure if they wanted to be togethet forever but look at them now together and seemingly happy .. not even real life princesses have perfect fairy tales as they are just that fairytales
how can you be glad over a couple of people whose life has no meaning whatsoever in your real life? it's not like they know you or care about you. this is insane.
@@FLdancer00 Also they have talked about how monogamy isn't for them, kind of weird in a committed marriage.
Wow. I never heard anyone being so honest about having purely egotistic reasons to be with someone.
Is it egoistic? Or is it that he wants to be a better person like her? That can be charming to fall for someone.
I also heard that they have an open relationship from time to time. Whatever works for them❤
@@rootje812 I suppose it was the way he formulated it, as "I wanted what she had" that sounds so self-centered. Not as "i wanted to be in her life so i can bring her joy" or something like, what he can do for her but what he can get for himself.
@@tonymontana1543 I COMPLETELY AGREE. The whole time, I was thinking..that's not love. He wants adoration, money, and partner who makes him look good. He sounded like a dick to me..lol
He is an actor... I've never met one that wasn't even a tad egoistical.
@@thisisaname4661 Sure. The difference is what he said -- i got together with my wife solely out of pursuing my own interests.
Really enjoyed listening to him talk about that, cheers.
I encourage anyone who hasn’t already, to listen to Dax’s Armchair Expert podcast. I can’t really explain how a podcast has brought me so much insight and knowledge.... it’s pretty incredible and obviously so entertaining. I didn’t know much about him but man, he is such an intellectual person who makes you think in ways you never thought to.
Thanks I will definitely check it out
Can I ask where you can listen to the podcasts? Also, any podcast/s in particular you really recommend?
@@paula9197 I listen to it on iTunes but I think you can listen to it where ever you listen to podcasts.
@@paula9197 i use Stitcher, its a free podcast app
@@tupd Cool thank you!
i massively love how she never pushed him to become a better a person, and yet he did, judging people for their desicions (even if they're bad) it's never the answer
I feel like the two of them talking so openly about their relationship in these interviews is a pretty clear indication that they have very good communication WITHIN their relationship. Like, it's generally much easier to talk so bluntly to other people about the rougher, more inglorious aspects of love if you've already talked about, opened up and been vulnerable about the same subjects with your own partner a million times.
As well as a Genuine Friendship
Well said, totally agree...
This is the most honest interview I've ever seen. He's being so vulnerable and specific with what he improved on. I am naturally like Kristin and my ex called me naive and gullible at the beginning. He thinks everyone secretly is always trying to manipulate others.
It's always good to trust people, but you can be too trusting. That's why this pair works so well together. You can also be too cynical and that's where balance becomes the key component.
Haha. "Do I want to be with a Christian who has 8 people living in her house for free?" Tough sell.
And then the kicker: "I thought she let people take advantage of her...but she's getting ahead and doing better than me."
Those 8 people are like 😐
@@adams6438 That's what I was thinking!
I wonder who those 8 people are or were to her. That's a deal breaker for me.
@@katia.luna213 They're still really good friends, you can hear a bit about it in Dax's podcast with Ryan Hansen if you're interested :)
Dax and Kristen's relationship gives me hope that someone will love me despite being an addict in recovery. Maybe I will find my own Kristen...
Maybe get through that first and stabilize yourself 1st....not fair to suck someone into your mess
@@Tee-kc3pn Relax there, bub.
You will…trust me.
For me, he’s describing what truly falling in love is like.
Agreed. It's rare to see such introspection from anyone, yet here it is displayed by a Hollywood bloke, one of the most ego needy arenas possible. Huge respect for him and his choice to remake himself to mirror what he appreciated about her. Talk to couples who have lasted forever. You'll see many have melded together in similar ways.
I love hearing these two talk about their relationship
This is such an eyeroll of an interview.
Stray dog...quite the metaphor for himself. Hahaha
Dax is great. Love his podcast and love his and kristin's realness about life and relationships
Sam Jones is an incredible interviewer, very social and receptive without wanting to steal the show. I think because of his background being a portrait photographer, these conversational interviews are integral to painting a picture of his subject. It's a lot more compassionate and about listening rather than interrupting mid sentence.
I’ve been a fan of Kristen Bell since 2004 when I first saw Veronica Mars. Over the years, by extension, I’ve learned more about Dax Shepherd. A few months ago, I heard the podcasts that Kristen and Dax did (separately) with Michael Rosenbaum, which were amazing. I’m thrilled to hear more about them, especially on this channel, which tends to be remarkably insightful and interesting among all the things I watch and follow. I’m a big fan all the way around.
Ryan Parman he’s great in Parenthood! (With Lauren Graham!) great show!
he also has his own podcast called Armchair Expert! he interviews a bunch of different people (including Kristen). i highly recommend it!! :)
My mother told me years ago that it doesn't matter how unattractive a guy is, there's still a part of his brain that believes he has a shot with the hottest girl around. Until now I'd never heard it acknowledged by a human male. Kudos to Dax for the self-awareness!
Isn’t that amazing because women don’t think that way at all 😂if a man is out of our league we accept it for what it is
@@raindropsonroses3919 that is a lie.
Proof of that are love stories, fan fiction, romantic movies specifically aimed at women, etc.
There is ALWAYS a part of you that wants to be the leading lady of your dream guy.
I heard this kind of approach to relationships so many times by listening to Abraham Hicks teachings on the internet. Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are the living proof that it actually really works in real life..that's so wonderful..thank you very much for sharing this with us Mr. Shepard.
So true! My boyfriend and I have a relationship kind of like this. We're both nomadic travelers, and were before we met. Now we travel together and he jokes that it's like I walk in a different world than he does. Everyone is nice to me and I've never felt in danger. And now that we travel together he can see that even though I naively trust that everything will be okay, it always is okay. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I keep expecting the best of the world, and it keeps getting delivered back to me.
Note: Just to be clear. I do believe a healthy level of caution and careful thinking is necessary. I definitely avoid putting myself in dangerous situations. You can live optimistically, and still be smart about it.
Love it! My boyfriend and I are the same lol. Self-fulfilling prophecy, truly!
I know of someone who had that same attitude that if she always treated strangers with kindness she'd be okay, but then on one of her solo adventures she was gang-raped by 8 people and murdered in India. So I think it's definitely better to live life with a positive attitude than a negative one, but it's also important to try to assess the environments you find yourself in and be aware of potential dangers. Good luck to you.
@@outofabook That is really heartbreaking about that innocent girl. May she rest in peace. Yes, the world has lowest of the scum types of people and unfortunately, we do have to be vigilant about what situations we put ourselves in. Most people are good though and caution is always sensibly practised.
It DEFINITELY wont always be okay. Dont just blindly subscribe to that assumption! I know that life feels beautiful for you, and your impulsivity has been repaid many times by life treating you good, but please be wary on the road. Ive worked as a researcher in the investigative department of a large newspaper in my country, one of the most peaceful in the world. And I can tell you, the stories Ive heard through my work, even in a country as safe and free as mine...we’re talking, girl on her third tinder date feels unwell after dinner, blacks out and wakes up on a plastic sheet with the patrick bateman like dude she was on a date with getting ready to torture and dismember her. She escaped and called the police but that girl will never trust again. And I have loads of stories like that. Hell, two girls on an adventure with the same trusting, naive attitude got their heads cut off JUST THE OTHER DAY in a tent on a vacation in morocco for no reason whatsoever. So no, it wont always be okay. Chances are youll be fine no matter what, but the small chance there is doesnt leave much room for a mistake.
@Side Shooter happens everywhere, but yes india should talk about it more in politic
I’ve been single for awhile now and I’ve went back and forth with this woman who is amazing but irritates me in some ways. Trying to get her to change for me just doesn’t work and Iam happy it doesn’t. I found a new love and it comes right back at me. It’s unconditional. Unlike I have been to her. What I’m trying to say here is that I really agree with Dax. You’ve gotta agree to love the person without trying to change them. You move forward with the person, not work against them.
I agree with you except there is no unconditional love, except from your dog. Don't try and ask too much of humans. We're not as good as dogs.
@jigyoda Youre both right. That was a poor choice of words. Love comes from(even fractionally) what you put in. Love is inherently conditional. You find something that means something to you and put yourself into it, and deal with and accept the reaction. If you feel you still wanna be there, thats the condition. Though im willing to be checked if im wrong.
He loves her so much! The way he talks about her is amazing. He truly feels so much love for her.
This is what love really is
This was really beautiful. Had me crying up till the last line... Then I had to giggle. Great interview, can't wait to go watch the full interview.
An egomaniac with low self esteem is exactly how the Big Book describes an addict. Its refreshing that Dax is so humble and honest in sharing about his recovery and relationship.
That bell tattoo on his ring finger
This is such a great segment. When he said, I usually turn people into who I want them to be and then I don't like them... "yes!
I wouldn't say 'off-putting'. I'd say 'Endearing!' What a Blessing to have an Honest relationship, flaws & all. We get only one go-round and it's great to be ourselves and to be with someone being their best self too. Congratulations on being that 'someone' and for finding that 'someone'. Rare. Fresh. True. Caring.
They will last not because he loves her, it's the fact that he respects her so much
OMG! This is the first interview I've seen on this channel. So honest. It's like being on a therapist's couch. And when you get up - the world looks like a better place!
I Bless The Rains Down in Africa. I've watched the number of your segments, and this is arguably the best one I've ever seen. The stuff with Jeff Daniels was good too, as was the stuff with Kristen herself.
I love how honest people can be. I truly enjoy authenticity and how life isn't perfect but more of a journey of finding your people - including your life partner.
Wow. I loved this. The honesty, the growth, the recognition given... Great, great interview and well done to the interviewer for letting the interviewees speak (so rare nowadays!)
This is possibly the most authentic ‘celebrity’ interview I’ve ever seen, so powerful and inspiring with such truth, that is a relationship right there, we mirror we learn we heal and we evolve.. beautiful ❤️ x x
This dude is a whole lot deeper than I would have ever thought he would be
Offcamera is more like a therapy session than an interview...Seth is such a great listener!
This is the best love advice ever
What a great dude. I just started listening to his podcast and it's so great to hear someone voice the same insecurities that I deal with. It really does help.
I loooove how transparent and real he is in this interview. Thanks Dax.
He's such a good guy. Or in reflection of what he's said He's GROWN into such a good guy!
Janine H Exactly
Dax, I think you just gave me the best marriage advice I’ve ever received.
You get what you give Kristen well done!
“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.”
~ James Branch Cabell.
More honesty like that please!
Lots of admiration for the interviewer for allowing him to speak, but my goodness!! I'm so impressed by him❤❤ . They are such a beautiful couple.
That was some real talk!! Great to see
Smashing the love button! Thank you for being open, Dax, about what it takes to be in love. You've probably opened a lot of eyes out there.
This was such an unbelievably honest answer. I loved every minute of it because it applies to soo many relationships
Nice, real talk. I think Dax and Kristen are both genuine. Thanks for being so open, we all learn from each other that way
What Dax Shepard describes around 0:40 is actually the standard for people with narcissism issues. Narcissism in born in shame. It's like thinking you are simultaneously defective and unlovable AND special. I know because I used to have extremely low self-esteem and also a lot of narcissistic tendencies. My therapist helped me understand the root causes. A lot of healing for me has come from acknowledging my flaws and believing (consciously and subconsciously as best I can) that they do not make me unlovable.
Wow wow wow. This was so good for so many reasons. I cannot help but have SO much respect and love for this couple, I don’t even know. God bless them on their journey. It obviously hasn’t been easy, but they’ve chosen to say yes to each other again and again.
Wow...this was very eye opening. I love Dax and Kristen. Dax is a very interesting guy. Very relatable. Much respect.
I love me some Dax! He’s such a beautiful human that always shows up with the most open heart, vulnerability, love, self awareness and overall sense of happiness & joy! He’s shares such an enlighten view of his self and ego, and is an open book! I find him to be absolutely the most lovable human! This little clip just demonstrates so much of who I believe him to be and did it in such a great light!! Well done love to all!
Wow, that is SO refreshing. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you for your candor.
The fruit she boar! This was so great!
bore
Oink oink!
He did say his answer would be a little off-putting anyways lol
Darlene Sterling powerful stuff
I love that
It just reminds you what an amazing actor this woman is also. Such a sweet, kindhearted person who plays some of the most bad-ass, cut throat characters.
Ive spent the last 5 years in a similar situation and im going through the "it's over" process and this is like eye opening thank you dax and Kristen.
Wow...great interview...great interviewer..and Dax seems like a very self aware down to earth person. I knew there was a reason that Kristen Bell always seemed like a person I'd actually want to know. What a great couple they make!
That story was much better than mine: My ex tried to change me, I tried to change her, we both blew up the relationship into a million pieces and we have spoken since. Not as eloquent is it?
It's not off-putting. You're a wonderful, real human being and people appreciate that!
damn there's so much transparency in this interview. so encouraging to see someone of his status being as vulnerable as this. makes me happy
FAVORITE COUPLE EVER! they are both so awesome and inspiring 😍
This is such amazing insight
just fell in love w their love lol
I absolutely loved this! Perfect examples of leading through example! I find that the people in my life who truly inspire me to be better do it just by being great themselves and not reproaching me or forcing me to be something else. I just naturally follow their example because I love the joy they bring in my life through their acts of kindness and want to share that with others.
I could listen to Dax all day, I have been in recovery also…. There’s something that connects when he tells his story, I know he’s speaking to the masses, but truly feel he’s speaking to me personally. Shepard is awesome & wish him & Kristen a long happy & healthy life together…Love the Dax!
Am I missing something? Initially, he didn’t want her and almost even pitied her for being a generous person.
Then he saw how her good heart brought her happiness and money and decided that he wanted THAT. And subsequently her.
How is that loving? Or selfless? He’s got all the “right” words but this just seems faux deep.
That's exactly how I felt but all comments are so... admiring that made me think maybe I was not getting something
I think he's saying that he used to be very cynical and wary of people, I'm pretty sure he had a fucked up childhood, he's a former drug and alcohol addict. And witnessing the way Kristen approached life changed his perspective for the better. He isn't claiming to be perfect, it seems to be an admission that he was quite fucked up and Kristen helped to change that.
Am I the only one who thinks he looks like Zach Braff?😂
I get them confused, too!
i thought they were the same person until maybe 3 months ago lmaoo i'm dumb
Now that you mention it - they do look alike!
It’s been an ongoing joke for a couple of years lol
Excellent interviewing. Subscribed.
Aw!!! The transparency is beautiful 💕
He's such an interesting guy. And this is a great interview!
Didn't find that off-putting at all.
i agree. everything he said was very comftorable and actually how people should be. just self aware and fair
I did. Mostly because it came across like the turn around for respecting her way of being was that she made more money, had better connections when she needed something, and was more successful than him. And he decided to be better (and possibly wanted to be with her) because he wanted to reep the benefits she was experiencing. I'm not sure if that's really all there was to it, or if he misrepresented it a bit in this comment. But it was definitely an off-putting answer if you really think about the potential implications of his message here. Despite the fact that I quite like Dax & Kristen together. This answer made me uncomfortable. But his self awareness that it sounded off putting was a good observation.
Cecelia M - so glad to hear you say that. I got some not-so-good vibes off this too.
My impression was that he wasn't coming from a place of genuine love, intrigue and mutual care and support for Kristen (or a genuine love for himself beyond superficial self-interest) in his deciding to partner with her, but more that she had something he wanted (even if it was only an outlook or world view) and that essentially he was in it for himself.
It just reminds me of someone I know (knew) who is a 'modern spiritual teacher type' and gives off this massively 'woke' vibe, similarly self-aware and self-effacing - and to be fair, compared to the general public, he really is! - but he's also a little pathological in his absolute refusal to self-reflect in relationships (or at least only as far as is convenient for him and doesn't contest his 'woke' self-image), to take responsibility for himself, he has the same wild arrogance and entitlement in relationships that this guy refers to and sadly, because most of the world thinks he's so smart, he buys into it and stops investigating his deepest shadow tendencies and then makes everyone else wrong or 'less evolved' if they're trying to point out his crap.
Turns out it's called vulnerable/covert/shy/hypersensitive narcissism and it's very difficult to spot! Again, no idea of this guy beyond this short interview but my alarm bells are going off something major!! Especially if he's with a 'kind, caring Christian' type person - that's who these types usually prey upon. If she doesn't have good boundaries, that's a risk.
Again, I have no evidence, don't know the guy, but spider senses on alert for sure. Hope Kristen knows the (potential) deal. 🙏🏼
@@jofriedman4528 Yes, I have very personal experience with 2 vulnerable narcissists in my past, at different times, and I've also learned about the dangers of this type the hard way. I have very high empathy, sometimes to a fault, and that makes me narcissist and sociopath catnip (studies have identified that people with narcissism and antisocial personality actively qualify and pursue higher levels of empathy in partners and victims). And vulnerable narcissists can be very difficult to spot because they appear to be emotionally open, self-reflecting, and thoughtful but then the level of selfishness can switch on a dime to a point where you suddenly have no value, opinion, or bodily autonomy and you become a thing that exists only for how they can use you. It's often not even accompanied by any desire for cruelty (as it is with sociopaths), just a complete, simple, sudden disregard for your being as a person when they are taking something that they want. However, i have to say that this is the only time Dax set off that alarm for me. And many narcissists wouldn't be quite as aware that their answer was potentially off-putting and why.
Cecelia M - wow, thank you for sharing all that. I'm both deeply sorry that's something you experienced - twice, no less - and deeply grateful that someone else knows this exists. There's nothing worse than having suspicions of vulnerable narcissism in someone and facing a crowd of unintentional gaslighting with comments like, "but he's so nice" etc..
I agree, after seeing another video of Dax with Kristen, I got no spider sense tinglings. It was just this video for me too. Maybe it was his energy that day. Who knows? I also agree his self-awareness is rare but I hate to say I've also seen V.narcs use a selective self-awareness to further seduce/entrap/take advantage of others.
I agree completely, re: empathy - it's their #1 favourite quality (one even admitted this to me directly. Makes sense looking back) - but I've also found that with ridiculously strong boundaries - and I mean FIERCE - they've eventually gone away. After first destroying and taking everything they could, of course. Learning the hard way, as you say.
You've described my experiences too - not so much a sociopathic desire to harm necessarily but just such a deep selfishness in which I felt like nothing more than a tool for them to obtain what they wanted and needed; attention, care, empathy, high regard (which I didn't have for them but that didn't seem to stop them from making their own self-flattering narrative and projecting them onto me as truth). Messy stuff.
So, if you don't mind me asking - have you found a strategy that works for you moving forward to detect/prevent these situations from happening again? My working strategy seems to be to keep my heart wide open (because it's my life and I need that to survive. Kind of how Dax describes Kristen's trust in life in a way) but I'm now a lot harder for people to access. I can't help but give fundamental empathy in situations (it's innate and automatic for me too. Thank god!) but before giving any more than that, I check in and make sure that (a) my actions show care and empathy towards myself too before dishing it out to others and (b) I "make them" work a little for it. If a person wants and feels entitled to that kind of love for free, that's not a friend I want to invite into my world. Standards and boundaries, I guess.
Anyhow, if you feel like sharing, I'd love to know what you've learned from your experiences by way of mitigating this further moving forward. Of course, no worries either way and thank you again for sharing so openly. I'm sorry again that your kindness and empathy wasn't honoured in the way it should have been. I'm hoping through conversations like these we can all learn more to look after ourselves while keeping our empathy alive and well. A big hug. 🙏🏼
This has me in tears. He let love show him fresh new ideas about the world.
What a beautiful way to Express love between two people! God bless you both!
for someone who is insecure he is dumb, he is very self reflective and analytical and well spoken about the dynamic of his relationship with her.
He will always be Crosby to me. =) I just adore him & Kristen.
I know the concept, that we can’t change someone else. But the way you phrased it had huge impact on me! Wow.
First time ever that I’ve seen him actually give real thought out, serious answers. Incredible how love can affect you.
Sounds like Dax was mistaking Kristen's kindness for weakness. Thankfully he was capable of wisening up.
I will always listen to what Dax has to say. He is so interesting. Arm cherry for life🍒
This was an amazing interview
It is utterly refreshing to hear that an actress/celebrity is exactly the way they portray themselves. Dax you have made Kristen even more of a living Angel than I ever knew. I am astonished at your candid admonitions and what incredible growth you have encountered in your relationship with her. She is THE most amazing woman and I send you both love and light. Thank you both for being a great influence on us all. I have really lost hope in ever believing there are good relationships for me to have since I have experienced very abusive ones and have stopped dating because of nearly losing my Life to one. You and Kristen are the dream that is an actual reality. It really blows my mind and I "forkin" 💘 it!! 👍😎
I LOVE the fact that it's simplicity in Black / White
this is the kind of self awareness that healthy relationships need. kudos to him for sharing so honestly
This is amazing. Honest, deep, helpful. Thx
Best honesty I've ever seen!! Life Is better when you can just put it all out there. Im too scared though!