Best HFY Reddit Stories: Hell No!
Vložit
- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- Death is not the end...
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/KronicBoom3
Original Story: / hell_no
Please consider supporting me on Patreon here: / netnarrator
I am also available on SubscribeStar here: www.subscribes...
If you fancy buying me a coffee so I can keep this up please do so here: ko-fi.com/netn...
Follow me on my Second Channel! - / @spartawolf3724
Follow me on Twitch! - / spartawolf
Follow me on Twitter! - / netnarrator
Discord Link: / discord
I can be contacted on discord for business proposals, or under the reddit name u/Spartawolf
NetNarrator HFY Merch Store here: teespring.com/...
Sponsored by Resistance Armory, a politically left leaning store catered to left wing merchandise and protest equipment (Both I and this channel are politically neutral)
resistance-arm...
Click the bell next to Subscribe so you never miss a video!
LIKE, COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE if you are new on the channel!
I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!
I run a Tshirt store which can be accessed here:
www.redbubble....
Current Patreons:
Micah god of puns
The Fire Piper
Roger Dial
J. Howard
Samuel king
Nathan Riek
Mezec
Nikolous Rice
Jeffery Needham
Dwavenminer
Daddy Jesus
Green Blaster07
Warutteri
Nick Hatley
John Etgar
Luis Medina
Adam Drawdy
James Erb
Evan Summers
pedro batista cepeda
Daniel Gartin
Jeromy Carmickle
Jeffrey hedlund
RUBEN
Tanner Ryan Jollet
Dan Chadwick
Dionysus
Jason Pearson
Wolflet
John J Riggan
Joel Nikula
Daq Britton
Erick Jaquez
Elitedrone
Weston Simmons
Mario Colon
Stephen Dower
Jonas Grundström
Joey Bates
Brennan Robertson
michael lee
laurine manigat
Elim Tevir
Alexander Michael Fraser
Micky
Thee_ Number_Six
Raymond Demara
Christopher Heredia
Maze Zy
David Arva
Logan Herron
John Weaver
Malovich
Silvan Fricker
Mr. Karlsson
Manuel Garcia Soto
Jonathon Chasteler
KazuniTheAvali
Cloodden
genomephilanthropist
boone stover
Dustin Tijerina
Thobias åman
Nicholas Johnson
C Fern
TheBadassForunnerElite
oliver Pettersson
John Arians
eistee9683 .
SCP-49730
Jeff Kaiser
Alex Corl
Jess Hobart
Purple Magi
Matthew
william
Mr. NoNameA2601
Vengrov
Andre Tolmich
Dexxuleed
Ross Warden
Jason
Blighty
saber154
Cameron
Felipe Agudelo
juan ruvalcaba
Davin Smith
chaoticPopo
Possibly Here For Plot
Sapient_table
Vanopolis
Trey Hull
MÄ«onikoi
chzoe warford
Andrid9
daniel john gerhart
Mr.Monical
Kimball Boyd
but span
Shaun Jacobs
Enterprise
Tradainian
Quakes
Peter Crane
daniel mayo
Adrian Iwański
Joshua brown
Dopamine Coma
Carl
Rusty Shackleford
Logan Jacobsen
Tech Priest Toaster
Thirteenth Angel
James Gregory
OyBoy413
Drakos
chaosdays
john
Yahsho Jinn
Chris Hogg
JordKriger
Nathaniel Krauss
Namel909
Devara Saira
Sturlaugur Arnar Kristinsson
Michael Morse
Nick Devor
Mitchell Taylor
PATRICK JAN JOSUA DAVIDSEN
Imp erishable
dioriteigneous
NightVision
Nathan west
matthew baker
Danger N00dle
DragenDragoon
Corbin Mcneill
nick davie
OTTO DBS Gaming
Danial Zujkowski
Dalmenuis
Tyler Bremer
eyes downfield
king vice
Barrage balloon
Roy Nicolaysen
Merlin Morgan
DebautcheryDecanter
julekule
Dragonking
Jonathan Torrez
Riokan
Juliano De Luca
Brice Abbott
Arin Storm
Logan Kuhlman
CLOROX D VIKING
Wln424
Viridity one
ShadaePrajschet
jordan simmons
Joey
iamblt
some wierd guy
Chandler Riley
Thomas Panis
John Meek
turnip hunter
Jarrett Campos
shadow sword001
joshua stone
Jim Flint
koollman
Dank Matter
Alex Farmer
#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan
". . . with blackjack and hookers." That’s what my mind automatically added to the last line.
"Ah forget the heaven"
Well not everyone hates h,e, double toothpicks. Doomguy really belonged there so many demons and devils to kill. Or not alive at least.
can we get jack black instead
This reads like a mortal being forced into an afterlife that he doesn't agree with so much that he's about to use eternity to become a universe creator to make his own heaven and find/rescue those who he cared about in life.
Gay Jesus: cares not for written virtue, but for love.
Is that not what transcendence is? No end to creation as universes live and die.
@@zacharyhawley1693 perhaps. I personally wish to walk a similar path as to that which the character seems to. As I have some regrets (mostly related to not talking with grandparents enough in their last year since I was largely stuck watching their property a few hours away and being unable to bring myself to call and say goodbye like that) that I wish to resolve and the best way to me seems to be to reach a point through pure stubbornness where I can not only grab their minds/souls from the moment they died and bring them to a time and place where they can be healed and with family forever but also to allow them the chance to ascend to the level where they too could do the same and bend/create a reality that would let them resolve their regrets. That this would also let me consume the entirety of human knowledge and fiction in the multiverse is just a bonus.
@Cannabis Dreams for one I'm willing to bet hell doesn't exist for 2 my goal is for my willpower to be strong enough to bend reality to my will so easily universe creation takes but a thought and for 3 constantly suffering might actually save me time since constantly resisting the urge to give up and scream would make great willpower training.
@@donanthebarbarian5177 pretty metal
It's like a goth kid got mad about having to go to a church potluck for Easter and wrote a whole ass videogame opening sequence spiting the luncheon.
I can't help but agree, sounds like it's written by some angsty teen to spite his parents
@@TheZebinator yeah, because they dont understand hell is much more simpler. And far more worse than yhis. Hell is punishment for every single creation. Hell is not home to the demons, it is entrapment. Hell is not where they thrive, earth is and even then they cant do much. Rules are rules, and in a closed system of energy nothing can exceed the standard.
I've read this story and it's very good but if you're particularly religious I'd suggest you don't listen to this
Edit: the reason I wrote this warning because a lot of religious people got really mad at the author on Reddit
E
I disagree. This is quite a good story.
@@jaycren6888 that's what I said, it's a very good story.
Just got here. Why?
I'm religious and I believe that this is a good story personally
I am simple man, i see HFY story tittled "Hell No". I click.
And thus Doom Slayer was born...
Stole my comment
sounds like a very nice prologue to a good story
checked reddit and yea its theres more
@@oscar-1012 great ^^
@@oscar-1012 link?
Or a prologue to the doom slayer...
@@gabrote42 it's in his description of the video
Will you be continuing to narrate this series NetNarrator?
Just wondering since there is 9 parts out at the moment.
Free advertising? Eyyyyyyyyy
Also don't tell him that it takes me like a month to release a single part now...
@@kronicboom3459 this story gives me hope for afterlife, one fear that I cannot understand
@@kylzepolaczkowaty2197 Sigh... thanks. Although your comment isn't explicitly positive, It's honestly a little relief that it's something more than "MC deserves his fate" Or, some long winded rant trying to justify a hell that actually exists like I showed it
@@kronicboom3459 oh no no no it's absolutely got me hooked up, it's like that one game where you escape hell but actually good.
The idea that protagonist pulls themselves from the oblivion is something I though of myself, but more in a way of "there's no afterlife for gods"
Keep it up
He will miraculously defeat Satan only to find out that Satan let him win because he didn't want to be master of Hell anymore. So now the protagonist is.
Lol if little Nicky was not by right of birth but only the last one to want to job is the reining king.
In a way this reminds me of a smaller scale Larry Niven’s Inferno.
In that book the concept of hell was that you could leave eventually through a slow and hard journey to the center. Part of it was believing that you shouldn’t be there and having the will to make the treacherous journey through increasingly horrific and dangerous regions. Some people who made the journey would come back up the circle for others instead of going to purgatory or heaven. Good book series,has a lot of cameos from history’s best and worst people.
Honestly, this feels like it was written by someone who was very wronged by his christian family and now he got to write all his seething in a story where he gets to rebel against the system. He even used the term "Sky daddy", as if being subtle was a crime...
“Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven" Paradise Lost
I like the sentiment at the end. Don't try to get in the good graces of anyone who rejected you, just make your own heaven. This has a sequal?
I keep expecting an ET to step forward and reveal this is all a simulation.
pretty fucked up thought experiment from scientist zhrthrthrt
*doom music starts*
Just another day in Ohio
Where's the humanity F yeah in this? Where's the sci Fi adventure or even the high fantasy? This is just some fever dream stuff with no resolution.
He's beginning to understand.
Interesting but this wouldn't work... fear is a finite resource and once fear is gone hell will shake...
Dammit that is such a better premise for a story like this!
There is no humility in this guy, I get why he's there.
That would make him a dick and God (who set the rules) a massive narcissist. I'm not religious but I can see that fitting into the framework of the Abrahamic religions.
Lol, so you would like him more if he accepted his fate and was a self hating person?
@@helbrassen4576 yes
how is this even HFY? Is God our xeno enemy now?
There's multiple parts I cant wait for more, hopefully
0:55 I can't unhear him saying "Awww" In dissapointment and honestly that is so much better
Does doom guy show up
what if this is his origin story :P
Great story. Id definitely be in the same boat. Albeit for other reasons. I just don’t see how eternal torture is supposed to be scary. Like anything, you’ll grow desensitized to it eventually. And it’s not like they can kill you with any consequence. Either you’ll die and wake back up in hell or you can’t really die. Wouldn’t take too long just to see it as “meh.”
It's the knowledge that no true permanent damage can occur. Pain is your reaction to damage, heavy damage can maim or kill you. If that is no longer on the table, the signals themselves can be ignored. It can be done in life as well with anesthetics or sufficient force of will however this is done at your own peril. Remove the peril and eventually you will muster the force of will purely as a practical matter.
this is why the protestant concept of hell is dangerous to spread.
Hell is eternal for those who don't want to leave it.
Do you WANT Doom Slayers? Because THIS is how you make Doom Slayers.
My man just became Doom Slayer.
This sounds like the story of a world where their god is all powerful and all knowing but does not live their creations
Must be a Au world where Jesus did not happen. But what did the demon hate more that he was gay or that fact he was a non believer. Seems like it is just a sadistic underworld. No purifying of the soul nor any poeticness for the sins. The "worst" was not that bad if anything it made another rebel.
Spoiler
Its all the vantage point of a newborn baby being born and waking up into a nursury with a puppy in it and a mobil spinning above it.
Or is this just duh, and I am just like derp?
Yes. That must be it.
"What mater where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than He
Whom thunder hath made greater.
Here at least We shall be free"
An interesting story, but how it blends into HFY eludes me.
I really hope there is more of this story. I really enjoyed it!
This story was what I did last summer.
He did choose gay
If there's any more of this story I really hope that you narrate it whoever the author is thay are a phenomenal writer and this was a phenomenal narration
Aww you're too sweet. Though I do have a feeling it won't be covered here, due to the controversial respose it has garnered so far.
An interesting concept.....but a little conceded
This hurts....alot!
Thank you for the reading
So... the narrator (not NN) is upset because he rejected God up until his dying breath, despite countless opportunities to come before Him, committed what God views as crimes with reckless abandon, and is surprised when God rejects him in turn, casting him out of Heaven and into the lake of fire.
Let me ask you, OP. Would you let a known criminal onto your property?
I thought not.
I would let a known criminal onto my property if I knew the accusation of them committing a crime was unjust
@@kronicboom3459 That makes you an accomplice, at that point.
@@kronicboom3459 Here's the thing: You don’t know. You only know what you've heard. What the hell do you think happens if sin is allowed inside Paradise?
@@nocount7517 I don't care. If being gay is a sin, it is not paradise
@@kronicboom3459 If you listened to the demon's speech, he wasn't just gay. He was lustful, envious, gluttonous. There's 3 cardinal sins, right there. Further, he rejected God at every opportunity until his dying breath, so as far as God is concerned, he was a complete stranger.
I don't get this notion of hell. Never did. You're already dead. You can't die again. What's stopping you from going apeshit at whatever "judge"? You don't need to conform or abide.
"where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
And they don't come back 'til the 4th of U lie"
Pure Filtered Hated - 4th of U lie
The story is well written but I’ve always found it ironic how many people buy the Hollywood version of hell over what’s actually written
Our vision of hell doesn't come from the Bible, it comes from Dante.
what a cool doom slayer/king minos origin story
this is so human...
!nataS liaH !nataS liaH
I believe this was the first two parts of 9. Wil you be picking up the remaining chapters as well?
Trying to fugure out what makes this HFY...
26:13 - cats when they see string moving around on the floor or an insect crawling on the wall
Am I the only one who doesn’t think oblivion sounds that bad?
That was quite a specific time of death?
Is there a part two to this?
Pretty good story.
Assuming you have an open mind and am not immediately offended. Here's a thought, what if, it's all a lie and no matter what, you are barred from going to "Haven" regardless of religion, or what you do? That's something to think about.
That's a captivating thought and kinda terrifying to believe. That's why faith is a thing. Without creating a simplistic dichotomy, a person can trust God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do (yes there are misunderstandings, ignorance, and delusions thrown in there) or they can doubt/reject it but how that person acts shows what their faith is in.
I think somewhere in the Bible it says something about "abiding in God" and to "delight in Him". Does this make heaven a state of mind or is it something completely different? Has the western audience conflated 2 concepts (a state or feeing of pleasure, i.e. paradise, and a spiritual state akin to a geo/political nation)? Is there even a way to know?
That would be a massive waste and risk for God. Why create something with a will that persists beyond life? To be able to fuck with people? Possible but there is a whole planet of mortals to fuck with. To make this ever growing pool of willful beings who will all eventually come to oppose you can't be wise. After all, any being that possess a will can eventually figure out how to manipulate things towards that will. Countless billions of them will figure this out more quickly and with greater effect.
The demon was describing Loosh.
Yeah, I doubt God gives a shit what any of his creations happen to think about their circumstances lmao.
16:04... a demon that cares for morals and sin. Wtf. I always found it strange that the traitors of heaven would still side with God and punish us. Pearls before swine. They are the original sins yet they are incharge of dulling out suitable punishment for others who followed their path. Nonsense. Why bother digging the pit if you were just going to add a system of order.
It's actually a misconception. They aren't the ones who will be doling out the punishment. They are only acting to pervert and usurp the creation of God. They will also be thrown into the fire in the end days. Any acts done would be out of malice for their own enjoyment and to mock the ones that had been successfully deceived in life. As with what happens to a malformed part in manufacturing, those that do not meet specifications will be scrapped. Life is the manufacturing process. What comes after is inspection and sorting.
Why would unexistence be bad?
Many people do not find contentment in their life. Thus, they do not wish for existence to end; regardless of how good or bad the existence is.
So fear made them made a reglion to feel meaning?
Makes your life pointless
Read _I'm The Grim Reaper_ if you want to find out why experiencing nothingness is so bad. It's just you and your mind. Forever.
@@nocount7517
but true nothingness/unexistence is also the end of your mind so why would i be thinking?
Life is a manufacturing process. After the manufacturing process comes inspection and sorting. As with any part in a machine shop, if it fails specifications, it will be scrapped. The belief of Christianity is that by following Jesus, actually following him and his teachings and not just the convenient social mask, we can have the same lot number that has been evaluated as 'these parts are good'. The tolerances demanded of the parts are very tight and strict. Tolerance, in a manufacturing context, has an upper bound and a lower bound. If the part does not fall within those bounds, it will not meet acceptable specifications. After all, a hole that is so big that a post falls right out of is just as useless as a hole that is too small for the post to fit in at all.
damn is that one giving me mixed feelings.
Would love to see the followups, if any
This broke me, I'm on the literal edge of what I believe. And this was so close to home... I wish we could just love and live how we choose... I will make my own heaven.
I do hope this gets some more parts. But I'm also worried because of the comments.
Found someone who's whole thing was "lol, alphabet person cries tears" hopefully such people just get left on the wayside and move on. The comments here got not just devise, but hateful.
For The Algorithm
Setting certain religions aside...
Is love about YOU? Selfish pleasure seeking? Or is love about sacrifice for someone who is important in your life? How much can you love someone who isn't willing to CREATE life for you BOTH to sacrifice for? If you, yourself, are not willing to commit to that sacrifice?
Are you sacrificing the creation of life for momentary pleasure?
Are you the sacrifice on the alter of Overpopulation?
Are you happily skipping into the meat grinder by removing your genetic code from the gene pool? Only a Consummer, never (re)Producing a replacement when your time is over...
In terms of community (communism) and society (socialism), these two concepts will only remove the ones that don't truly produce through time.
This is why Capitalism allows homosexuality. It's a profitable sacrifice.
If you have a village made of non-breeders... how many generations will it last? How many breeders vs. Non-breeders does a group need to repopulate or thrive? Would you allow incest for survival purposes?
You don't care, it's just for your pleasure, everyone else can do whatever... until you start telling others how to live THEIR lives, turning you into a hypocrite.
Listens to Christopher Lee. ~ My way... oh yeah
If love is sin then somebody got something wrong. The Bible is merely a human interpretation of what "God" wanted so for people to think they got it "right" is nothing but arrogance.
As a queer atheist I would absolutely be raging against those punisher demons
Only problem is, whilst being gay Is considered a sin within the Bible, it also states that they are still human, and they are not perfect like every other human on earth. If the Bible is real, then well, this likely won’t be the scenario.
@@randomchannel4852 being gay isn’t a sin, homosexual acts are.
@@Sem.or.sumthin Yeah, it's the age old misconception. The temptation isn't the sin, it's acting on it. You can "want" to steal something, or be tempted in desperation. But if you don't act on it, you've demonstrated resolve.
You also get the questions of calvinist or armenian, or otherwise.. Frankly I've always ascribed to C.S. Lewis' line of thought. A calvinist towards others, but an armenian to the self.
@@Sem.or.sumthin , Exactly right!!
It's not even the homosexual acts that are a sin, if you actually read the bits and pieces fed through the Commandments and the angels and Jesus and through God's other chosen messengers instead of what's said by the priests and soldiers and laymen who the Bible often points to misunderstood or misusing His Words. It's the performance of those acts without a covenant of love and loyalty behind them, be that marriage or any other, or in violation of any covenant of love or trust, such as what happened immediately after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.
MORE
There's a tad bit of cognitive dissonance in the story although it as a whole is pretty cool.
For example the type of hell that is described is from Greek mythology, and as we all know Greeks had no problem with homosexuality. They saw that as a perfectly normal thing. Now the difference between that form of hell and the one from the Bible is the one from the Bible is simply Your "Grave" where you sleep and wait till judgment. After judgment it's either heaven or non-existence, so technically the atheists got it right. When they die there will be nothing
Welp. This one was a disappointment.
Reddit ass story lmao
He chosed it.
The person gets a multitude of things wrong when writing the Story. First and foremost, its not about prayer and its not about Belief in God. It is about faith in Christ, who has saved those who have there name writin within the book of life. Even the Demons new Gods name, and yet they were still damned. Secondly, they portray God as evil, which is also wrong, being that he is Wrathful, and not evil. His wrath is righteous and justified in its entirety. We first betrayed God with the original sin of Eve, and from there Man had been born of Sin (in some interpretations. There is a division in the Church as to whether a newborn is saved or not as they have yet to commit sin, but are born of sinful nature. Its a hard subject that my mother and I disagree on daily.) God can not have sin in his presence.
God has given us a chance by his grace. That is through Christ, yes, but I want to discuss Free Will and Predestination. Free Will says that we are the ones to come to God and that he does not draw us in, witch suggests that Gods power is limited, and then Predestination states that we have no control over weather we are saved or not. Most people take the stance of Both. It is out choice, but it has already been Predestined. We do make the choice, but it is because of the influence of God. its weird how it works.
The depiction of Hell is both right and wrong. First and foremost, the only time a being will be cast into the lake of fire is during the Rapture, where they will suffer eternal separation from God. Where they go first is to a place called Hades, which little is known about. It is the storing block for those who are dammed. The same may apply to Heaven, but it is unknown. The Demons are not the publishers, but instead, are damned along with those who are of sinful nature. Everyone is damned. Everyone has the opportunity to no longer be unjustified, and go through the process of Sanctification (becoming Christ Like.)
I understand that I did a poor job of explaining, but if yall have questions, I will try and answer it to the best of my ability
There are three types of Law. The Civic. The Moral. The Ceremonial. We are not longer beholden to any of the Civic and Ceremonial Laws, but we stay bidden by that of the Moral, all except for one that is not mentioned within the New Testimant. That is the Sabbath.
I am Southern Baptist if you wish to know the Denomination of Church I am a part of (technically, Non Denomination, but we are Southern Baptist in practice.)
If god was good, then explain hell.
Honestly if there was one its either god is an absolute evil, or some how balanced by another force of equal strength, still wouldn't trust either
Maybe the lake of fire wasn't made for humans but rather serves as a disposal area? I mean some of the prominent entities sent into it should have had everything they needed to know to not turn against God but still rebelled so where else would they be put? On that note, why should humans burn for eternity if they can choose to trust God is good? I mean if you don't trust God then why would want heaven where you'd be stuck with Him?
@@forthehonorforge4840
True, it is a choice if you want to be saved.
I believe in God but I don't believe that being gay is a sin, also I'm pretty sure that the seven deadly sins are only sins if you take it to the extreme, anyways, I don't believe that if you are an atheist or some other religion that you'll 100% be sent to hell, or that if you believe in God you're 100% going to heaven, I believe that the only thing you need to do to get into heaven is be a good person, and that the only thing you need to do to get into hell is be a bad person, I just can't bring myself to believe that God, with all of his wisdom, would send you to hell for something as simple as being a different sexuality, or thinking differently, i mean who wrote the Bible? Humans, and i believe that humans twisted the words of God, that reminds me of that death message from Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion,
"Believe in God, but question the teachings of man."
(Also the developer of that game is a Christian, so don't go around saying that he doesn't have the right to say that.) (One more thing, I used speech-to-text for most of this because I'm not writing all of that manually, so don't be surprised if there are any mistakes.)
Deserved
1st!
Sorry guys and girls. I don't like this one. I'm no Karen, don't get me wrong. The whole premise of this story is nauseating. I don't think you should have put this on your page. I'm a little disappointed. It's just a story... I get it. But WTF guys. Really?
Hello, I am the original author and being as polite as possible, I would genuinly like to know why you don't like it. If it is for personal religious reasons, I do understand, but I would also like to point out, as I have in the original post, that I do not believe any afterlife would actually be like this. This is simply a thought expirement, (Albiet quite critical of the catholic church, and other religious or ideologious points of view). But if I am totally wrong, and you have some other reason, I would apprecate knowing what it is, because the feedback would be helpful in making my stories better.
@@kronicboom3459 I'm only a coupla minutes into the story - I wish she would answer and I don't mean that to be an a$$ - just curious as to where shes coming from !!
@@kronicboom3459 , I don't like it either. I understand what it is to be a writer and have your story presented on CZcams. Please see czcams.com/video/_D4mhnMMIYM/video.html and czcams.com/video/vk7dyCTOsb4/video.html . In addition to finding it religiously offensive, there is no humility to it at all. You've died and you're in front of your eternal judge and you act like you own the place and whomever is judging you and is in absolute control owes you an apology. You try to set in your head the rules by which you will be judged. It also became a cliche dream escape fantasy epic with a little S & M and B & D in the cage and then a fantasy breakout from Hell itself with part of a bone. There's also a lack of logical transition once the fantasy breakout starts. You lose any shreds of suspension of belief there.
@@thelaughinghyenas8465 What exactly did you find offensive about it? I will admit that quite obviously, I am not very well versed in biblical lore, but within the original post, there were others who claimed to have been from a religious background who did not take any offense with the post. As for the humility part, you have to understand that this man who died is an atheistic man who has been the subject of redicule from people who would genuinly wish that fate upon him because of simply his sexuality. His stance is also a stance that I firmly believe in. I believe that all positions of authority must be accountable in one way or another, and based on that fact, I would be unwilling to have the MC not question the reason in which he was sent to the place he was, especially since that reason would have appeared to be purely born of hate. But, that is less of a narrative argument and more touches on personal beliefs, so to cut it short, this post was not intended to respect the church, nor any higher being, as it is staring a higher being which none of us (I hope) actually believes is real. It was intended (among other things) to expose injustices that some people attempt to justify with the excuse of faith.
As for your other arguments, I do appreciate the feedback, although some appears to be more of a personal preference, which I would be unable to replicate, but I will fully admit that the bone is very mcguffin-y. That, I would exuse as my own inexperience, and the fact that I was more enclined to focus on other things within the story, but I will try to take your criticisms to heart in my future work.
@@kronicboom3459 , to explain my reaction please look at the universe from my perspective. You can disbelieve it, but if you don't understand it then you won't understand a lot of people's real reactions.
There is a supreme God of the Universe, the maker of everything, unchanging, all knowing, all powerful and eternal. (Must be assumed, because a large percentage of people will come at it from this belief system and this is MY belief system.) We are sent here to love each other, according to our divine creator's rules. Those are rules to help us avoid problems. Allah is mighty to forgive/Jesus died on the cross for you/whatever other system you want to mention so that if YOU change to God's will then you will be forgiven and can return to God's good graces and if you don't want to then you have to take responsibility for the consequences of your own action. In other words, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
Given this reality, your protagonist died rejecting what I believe to be an undeniable fact that I believe I have seen a great deal of evidence for. (No need to review said evidence - just accept that I accept it.)
This protagonist is absolutely and completely IGNORANT. Does he know how to trigger the Big Bang? No. Can he make a star initiate fusion? No. Can he make a planet? Not that either. Can he make life from raw elements? Nope, not even that. This protagonist is also absolutely and completely powerless. Would he go to Hell for his sins if he could have avoided the experience? No. He can't avoid the judgment of this all powerful being that really runs the joint. His railing against it seems as naive and foolish as an ant cursing an oncoming steamroller.
This ridiculous railing at the almighty starts back when the almighty was saying that he was dead. Nope, he wouldn't believe it and wouldn't accept it. He was in a hospital dying of lung cancer, but wouldn't accept that termination would come.
Having the guy go to Hell for his choices was reasonable. The instant escape is where you jumped the shark. I have written a lot of sucky stories in my time where my protagonist jumped the shark. We want them to live. You jumped the shark in escaping the prison, and in doing so you wasted a great opportunity for inner conflict and drama. I also thought the Hell was pretty ordinary, but that was a very minor issue in comparison.
So, you think that the judgment against the protagonist was based on hate? I state that it was based on love. If a parent has ten kids and has to toss one out the door because they are a meth addict who raped their baby sister and stole the food and rent money, do you think the parent was happy to do so? They GRIEVE more than you can know, but they have to in order to save the other nine.
So what was offensive to my religion/spiritual beliefs? Your insistence that this life belongs to YOU to do with as YOU choose. In my belief as I outlined above, that's ridiculous, harmful to others and blasphemy. It's like a meth addict that says "I only hurt myself." No, you hurt your whole family, society, the people you stole from to support your habit, the waste of what you could have been, etc. In addition, it drags other people down, like the meth addict selling the addiction to others.
You seemed to have a great dislike of the Roman Catholic Church. I can't argue with your individual experience with that religion. I always tell people that if they don't think their Higher Power loves them to go out shopping for a Higher Power that does.
Lol, an alphabet person letting his self-hate flow through him. What? A family member getting the author angry with too many lgbtq "jokes". Making him feel "helpless" so he writes a story to lash out at everything?
Keep it up. Your anger makes for great writing material. No seriously.
I mean, people make stories all the time to lash out. Or act out some fantasy.... Ever Read Dantes Inferno? Changed a whole religion it was so popular. And it's a freaking pathetic fanfic hahahahah.
Anyways, it's a good story about examining the system of hell. It's poorly made, and objectively evil. Any person maintaining such a system, is also evil.
🙄
*doom music starts*
!nataS liaH !nataS liaH