Therapist Reacts To: The Archer by Taylor Swift *PTSD? Fear of Abandonment? Prelude to Anti-Hero?*
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- čas přidán 1. 07. 2024
- In this video, I explore the themes around abandonment, PTSD, possible victim of narcissistic abuse, and how these seem to lead up to Anti-Hero. What do you all think?
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I love how you noted that the ending “stresses you out” because that’s exactly what she wanted to do with the song. it’s a constant build up throughout the whole song, causing the listener to anticipate a drop that doesn’t deliver. that combined with the repetition of “who could stay” and other lyrics sort of mimics the feeling of a panic attack. much love for you and your content🫶🏼
This makes so much sense. Thank you for watching ❤
I’ve heard it be compared to an archer pulling back their bow ready to release but they never do.
@@mendwithmere the way she makes the build up but never drop a bit at the end just keep building up its like how ppl keep epxpecting more n more from us but we never give them anything to surprise or amuze them
the beat also is the correct BPM for CPR!
In the eras tour, she points to the audience when she sings “you can stay” and it’s just so wholesome🥹
The line “I wake in the night, I pace like ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke”
Is amazing to me! I sometimes have extreme panic attacks, usually over existential dread or something similar. It usually happens at 2 or 3 am when I will hop out of bed and pace in the room while it feels like I’m burning up and the room is suddenly burning me! She describes a panic attack so perfectly.
Yes, it’s totally a panic attack and I’m sorry you have to go through that at night. I almost always wake at 2-3 too. It’s brutal.
I relate so strongly to this song. The dichotomy is the beauty of it. For example, “I’ve been the Archer/ I’ve been the prey…” and “Who could ever leave me, darling/ But who could stay?” I feel like this song is about her acknowledging how hurt she’s been in relationships, yet also having the maturity to understand that she has also made many mistakes in those relationships.
On another note…How BRILLIANT are the two lyrics:
“And all of my heroes died all alone,” and “All of my enemies started out friends.”??? Pure poetry…✨
Absolutely agree!❤
To me this song is about being so messed up by relationships that you’re ready to fight even tho that person could love you more than anything and you still feel like they’re gonna abandon you
Yes!!❤
"Combat, im ready for combat
I say I don't want that, but what if I do?"
I think of that lyric as she is ready for combat, she haves high walls and an "armour" on to defend herself, she says "oh im not like that", but deep down she questions that maybe she IS like that, because, sometimes is safer, you feel more secure and it's easier having that armour, I think that the point of the song is letting the armour go and taking it off, finally, releasing it all
as someone suffering from symptoms of bpd and having my life ruined by a covert narcissist and still dealing with the aftermath of all the psychological abuse this hits really hard. it truly starts feeling like you’re the messed up one and i just feel so lost and tired. thank you for this mere ❤❤❤
You are so welcome. Hope this song is a comfort and validation of how you feel. You are not alone ❤
I have an arrow tattoo for The Archer. It means so much to me as someone with painful BPD and PTSD to have my experience described so well with music. Makes me feel less alone. This is the first time the vulnerability of "help me hold onto you," has hit different, having significant trust issues myself. To me, the bridge and ending sound like a panic attack. The whole song is almost a cycle! "You could stay..." But then they don't and she feels like the Archer again, returning to the beginning "ready for combat" because her trust has been broken anew and she's back on her guard. Ah! Thank you Mere for bringing a whole new perspective, including connections to other songs, and making me think!
I’m so glad that you have this song and I hope you read the other comments with people dealing with BPD too. I love that you have the tattoo for the archer. I have “my tears ricochet” on my wrist ❤
Sag's are also honest and blunt af. I swear, I feel a connection to your channel. You always talk about things that really hit home for me. I think we're around the same age, and I totally want to know your astrological info lol I grew up with a psychic, palm reading astrologer of a mother, so you're speaking my language. So thank you, Mere. Really ♥
Sag, here, too! ❤
This is absolutely one of my favorite songs. What I love so much about seeing it live is that the line “you could stay” she points to her audience saying that we, her fans, could stay with her through it all. I just cannot imagine how amazing it must feel to perform to 70k fans every show and to know that these are the people who have chosen to be there and to be present with her. Though her personal life may feel lonely, she has so many fans who love her and I feel she genuinely is so grateful for that.
My personal favorite line that never fails to bring a tear to my eye is the Humpty Dumpty reference, because so many people can relate to the “fall from grace” that leaves us broken. And we search and search for the one to save us. Her delivery of that line just has so much depth and sadness behind it.
Yes 🙌!! Beautiful 😻
It’s a twist for us because in nursery rhymes we always expect a happy ever after ending. 🥹
ahhh this song means so much to me, thank you for your lovely reaction! i love the part that says "i search for your dark side/but what if i'm alright, right, right, right here" because to me you can read it in two ways - it can either be "i'm alright here" as in she's searching for a problem with the relationship due to past traumas but it's actually a safe place for her. OR i also like reading it as "I'm all right here" as in SHE is the dark side in the relationship. SHE is the one bringing her unhealthy patterns to the relationship, the dark side is right here. I could be reaching but i think this song is just so brilliant!!
This is what I thought, that she is the dark side. Completely agree with everything you said. She always writes her songs from the perspective of a "broken" person, but someone that still tries and wants to be whole/healthy. Like a beautiful disaster.
“all of my enemies started out as friends…”😢
I'm so glad you're analyzing these deeply personal songs. I find it interesting that her two most personally vulnerable and accountable songs on Lover (The Archer and Afterglow) have sister songs addressing the same topics and issues on Midnights (Anti-Hero to Archer, and The Great War to Afterglow). This tells us that these issues are among the things that keep her up at night. The positive ending to The Great War gave us the impression that she worked through her past trauma to a point that she could finally trust and let her guard down and have a healthy relationship with Joe, but it seems that might have been a too simplistic, neat-and-tidy view on a very complex emotional state. Of course there were two of them in the relationship and he likely had his own issues that contributed to them reaching the breaking point, but I can't help but think that her instinct to be combative, to run, to expect the worst, could have played a factor in them not being able to work through their issues at the end. It is so sad to see such a beautiful soul be tormented by ghosts of past trauma to the point that she is still haunted by them in all subsequent relationships. I hope she finds true peace within herself at some point.
I've been having a couple shitty days you analysing this song specifically feels like such a warm hug you truly deserve the best and i hope u get all the healing and all the love u deserve 💖
I hope the same for you. Sending you the best, warmest hug your way❤
these videos are so comforting
I’m so glad!! ❤
I love this song, it's one of my favourites and your take on this was magnificent. The way you noticed every single detail and analyzed it thoroughly, you really didn't miss with this video.
Aww thank you!!❤
Thank you for talking about the psychological side of Taylor's music, I have been really wanting to have a channel like this one, that dips into her music, you help a lot of people including me, thanks so so much 💗💗💗🥺
You are so welcome!! ❤
me with sag moon and borderline 🤡
the archer 🤝 peace
I love how not only can she can write about her emotions and feelings and being so honest about looking inwards and looking at what she said in the past or done something and owns it . I have trouble putting into words how I feel so I really do admire her being able to do that!but to share with the work too is just incredible brave, obviously she knows she has fan but there people who just want to tear and the creeps that think she is in a relationship with her
Is just is so brave 🥺
Agree with all of this!❤
this is the song i relate to most of taylor’s and today has been the worst day with my parents. it’s like you knew
Those synchronicities are real ❤
This is exactly what anxiety feels for me and watching you talk about this is helping the anxiety I feel right now! Thank you so much Mere!
I'm glad you're doing great, honestly your reactions have really helped deal with complicated stuff these past few months and it feels refreshing watching someone being vulnerable and allowing other people also to be vulnerable. Thank you Mere for starting this channel, lots of love 💚
This means so much to me❤❤❤
this song means a lot to me, without a doubt one of my favorites in life. I really loved your reaction to it, kisses from 🇧🇷💕 queen
Xx back!!❤❤❤
I’m watching this 13 minutes after it was posted, which feels like a sign from Taylor 😂
Those signs are REAL ❤
Thank you for this reaction. This is my comfort song. I always listen to this song whenever I feel like I'm at my limit. It gives me hope. It's like the song's screams my feeling. Isn't that weird but fucking beautiful how could a song help me pass the storm?
It’s so beautiful and so real. Music/art is truly healing.
A book like that is very needed. It takes a huge toll on the whole family when you love an addict.
I love ur videos sm. It’s therapy everytime! U r so underrated, keep up the amazing work!!! ❤❤❤❤
Awww thank you!❤
Before of saying what I want to say, love u Mere you’re amazing keep this up ❤. I love songs like The archer and anti hero because they talk EXCLUSIVELY about her. As someone who writes a lot, writing only about yourself is actually not that easy, you’ll always add that line or detail that conducts to another person, that focuses on someone else. She has very few songs about herself and only herself, wish she’s going to make more. Sonically, the archer is a real unique song in tay’s catalog, it doesn’t have a beat drop and it also makes a kind of atmosphere which most of her songs don’t create. I see myself quite a lot in this song, enemies that started out friends, having to discover someone’s bad habits right away and “I see right trough me”, this is one of Taylor’s most personal songs so of course it’s hard for someone to FULLY relate to the song. Anyways, you should react to “Soon you’ll get better”, which is about her mom dealing with cancer, it’s a really beautiful song.
I’ve loved this song since it came out. It’s interesting to see her say “all of my heroes die all alone”. Because I feel the same way watching an artist-Like Taylor-go through all of the heartbreak she has. When I saw her and Joe split, I felt like wow, I thought I had a chance at love, myself, seeing her have that relationship and then when that crashed down for her, I felt like well maybe there isn’t hope for me, if this person I resonate with so much can’t find happiness either. And of course there is much more to it and I’m sure she will eventually find a life partner, but I can understand the feelings she was expressing in that line with her specifically and I’m sure that’s something she didn’t anticipate, but I just think it’s extremely profound. These are the kind of fears we have that are probably fleeting and pop in our minds in our darkest moments.
Sadly, we come into this world alone and go out alone. 😢
But, I know what you mean.
mere ilysm you literally make my day never stop queen u help me sm ❤❤❤
Sending you my ❤ and love you back!
This song is so relatable 😭 like literally story of my life 💔
You explaining your thoughts makes me relate to it even more ❤❤❤
omg this song is perfect, i love your view on it ❤❤ you should react to emails i can’t send (the song) by sabrina carpenter!!! you would also love because i liked a boy by her as well
Thank you!❤
I am so happy to hear this. i love this song so much. it's relatable.
also, the amount of times you pause the song is actually a good thing. playing too much of the song makes CZcams think you are just using the audio and pausing it enough like you do changes it to an actual reaction video instead of an audio steal.
I’m glad it didn’t bother you or anyone. I really do want to discuss every pueve
You are blessed as you bless all of us❤
This is my favourite song on Lover even though I don’t relate to it personally. I think it’s because it feels so vulnerable!
The way you intrepret the song resonates how i interpret the song and how I relate it to my life
ugh as someone with a fearful avoidant attachment style, this song hits so hard 💔
Your deep dive analysis of Taylor Swift’s music is so enlightening and makes me appreciate her music a lot more. Thank you!
Such a great breakdown ❤
heyy, I just wanted to go through this section to THANK YOU for these reactions and your analysis are truly authentic and very entertaining to watch and it shows that you do it from your heart, it is very brave of you to also tell us part of your life and how these songs have a deep meaning for you, in my opinion this only makes it easier to connect with you and feel more identified with the words you choose when analyzing a song so thank you very much for this.
I hope you keep doing this for a long time because these videos really interest me a lot and I like them, I send you a huge hug from a distance💌😊
Thank you for commenting and sharing this with me bc it’ll keep me doing it :). I really do love it so so much. I feel very lucky to be doing this and finding people that are just as into it as I am. Sending you so much ❤ and thank you for supporting me
I think Mere is quite brave to. Whatever she is going through, she is doing it for the collective. Women? Stronger 💪 ? Independence?
Hang in there, Mere!! With your friends and support system!! ❤
Also, the constant build up in the song to only end with sudden silence is like "the archer" slowly pulling the string of the bow, getting more and more stretched throughout the song, until she finally lets go of the arrow.
This is my favorite song from her of all time. It's basically an autobiography for the first 16 years of my life and I'm sure it's still narrating most of my life to this moment.
Love that you have this song!!❤
You need to watch Long Story short where she explores the together against the world sentiment more. She speaks about throwing away her sword, not keeping score, keeping him warm but also being ready if someone comes at them.
I’d love you to do terrence loves you. Its a very beautiful song that brings you into the moment and feels like an antique somehow.
I needed this
Sending ❤❤❤
The combat circle-back makes me think instead of on the defensive she is ready to fight her own internal battles, like you mentioned her demonstrating having through her writing in this song. Her stepping up to see combat as a proactive thing instead of a reactive approach. Hope I’m making sense. I like this song but it is quite anxiety inducing musically in conjunction with lyrically and I’m not a fan of that feeling but it is quite impressive once again that she can put us in those feelings that well. Wonderful channel, Mere! ❤️
the title and you saying ptsd and narcissist abuse melts my heart and makes me feel like you are my long lost therapist. My ex husband of 13 years was very narcisstic, has bipolar and refuses to take care of mental health. We had 2 daughters who are now 14 and 16. Their last name ( I took back maiden name) is Archer and I wrote it just like it looks on the video and the arrow in the A represents the fact that my birthday is February 14 and sadly the day that I married my ex. on my 19th birthday
The line "and I cut off my nose just to spite my face" relates to the fact that beacause of insecurity or peer pressure she had a small rhinoplasty, and later regretted it.
When taylor ends the song with the first lyric, I think what she means is that shes ready to do it all over again cause shes onto a new relationship and shes been through it before, and she knows the routine when going through a relationship but this could be interpreted in maybe a different way
I really wish I could have you as a therapist. I have PTSD from narcissistic abuse, year and years, not a romantic relationship, but my older brother. I have cut him from my life completely but the damage he inflicted will probably always be with me. I have seen therapists but somehow because I am an empath they end up confiding in me rather than helping me. Also for unknown reasons they focus on the fact that my profession is that I'm an artist and they want to fix that...I like being an artist its not something you decide its something you're born as. Anyway just want to thank you for your reactions especially relating to PTSD and the damages done. It helps to have someone say what it feels like.
I relate. My family of origin was narcissistic
I feel like the first verse is more about wanting the person but being afraid of being vulnerable, so maybe she should be cruel first? Also, the "they see right through me, can you see right through me?" feels a lot like anxious, imposter syndrome. Like everyone is putting her on a pedestal but she feels like a fraud
Love this
Not sure if you’ve done this one yet, but one song that I would love your thoughts on is Pretty When you Cry from Lana Del Rey’s Ultraviolence album. I love watching your reactions to her songs!
Finally, i love this song so much
It’s so good
@@mendwithmere yes
I love that we can be vulnerable to each other and maintain a trusting relationship virtually without even interacting. I love this. My first request, can you react to either of the songs The Tradition by Halsey/Bells In Santa Fe by Halsey. I would appreciate it. Again, thank you very much for your People Pleaser video
Yes! Added to the list. Thank you for watching and supporting me. ♥️
The song I relate to most closely…. AHHHH
The ARCHER is a song of FEAR for receiving PEOPLE UNACCEPTANCE. In my opinion, it's not about her romantic relationship..it's for US. It leads to MIRRORBALL, and DEAR READER. WE need to really listen to her, i mean really listen to see. I am her fan since forever and i will continue to support her, nomatter what.
I think the last "I'm ready for combat" is actually meant to be directed towards her insecurities? She started out with describing how she fights others, right? Then during the climax she's wondering about who could stay. And she found someone who could stay. And so I believe the last sentence is actually meant in a "I'll fight for this relationship" kinda way but since she's also still going through this internal battle with herself, the words imply she might lose the battle. Like... The last part is basically "I'm ready to fight for this relationship but I might self-sabotage" and that's implied by the simple use of the same words in the beginning and the end of the song. Since self-sabotage is often a cycle as well (like a lot of unhealthy patterns are), I think it makes sense to set this song up in a similar way. She needs to break out of this dynamic if she wants this relationship to last because otherwise she'll only get back to the start again and again (with the same or a new person). That's at least my take on it :) So depending on my personal mood, I either perceive this song as hopeful ("I'll fight for this relationship!") or or sad (continuing the cycle after doing all the self-reflection during the song but not getting out of the dynamic fully). Fortunately I'm in a good place mentally right now, so I prefer to see it from the more positive side :)
Oh wow, this is right on point and perfection!!
@@mendwithmere Thank you!
Can you please do peace from taylor ❤
have you ever listened to Ronan or the moment I knew by Taylor?
This bbc set of songs are amazing by Taylor. I recommend them all, but this one is neat because you can see the emphasis and feelings she means for it to elicit from the song. This of course is me guessing… it’s just beautiful how intimate the setting is.
czcams.com/video/mXTO2VI0GFQ/video.htmlsi=DWYt1O-FGmWPQWdl
Yay pls do more Lover songs
I will!
Also-a little side note, what are your thoughts on mbti? Is it something you follow? If so, are you an infj/infp? If not, what is your type? (If you know) I’m infj and I just feel so connected to your own expressions of emotion and the way you think, so I’ve been curious!
Ha! Tiff - you are right! I’m an INFJ :)
@@mendwithmerecan you do some videos on the different types - I know I am slow to open up. Some of the louder types, my siblings, don’t even notice this about me.
Archer is my daughters last name
This whole song feels like an anxiety attack 😭
FINALLY
Will you please react to any Melanie Martinez song? ❤
Women are starting to figure out what they want. Be verbal about it. Don't waste time. You know what life you want.
But you didn’t mention the main part in the “dark side” part. She sees herself as his dark side.
I realized this after too
Your reaction reminds me of by avoidant ex boyfriend
Such a raw song 🎧.
I believe most of her songs are about Karlie Kloss and Diane Agron.
The Great War was about her going to come out, but then “they took their battle inward”.
I believe this song is about the end of her relationship with Karlie Kloss 😢. They were living together and things were really good.
Taylor went on a work related trip to Japan/Australia. While she was gone Karlie had some friends over to Taylor’s place in NYC. She didn’t tell Taylor 😮.
Taylor was burnt 🥵 by other people like Harry Styles who gave information to the press about her for money 💰 😮.
She immediately went into Combat with Karlie . She had her bags 💼 packed and kicked her out 😢.
Taylor was wrong. 😢and her ego prevented her from admitting it right way.
When she did admit it, it was too late.
Karlie’s manager was Scouter Bruan. He had insider information on their relationship and that Taylor was planning to come out. Hence, is try he was so interested in buying Taylor’s first 6 albums because if she came out everyone would be running back to listen 🎧 to the first 6 albums.
Taylor is re-recording the first 6 albums. Some say she is changing the pronouns. She also sings some songs from the guys perspective.
Some say she will come out at the end of re-releasing all the old albums. Who knows. Her private life should be just that.
I hear 👂 a lot of love and emotion when she talks/sings about Karlie. Joe looked bored at her concerts. A beard?
Karlie was extremely loyal and had Taylor’s back 😢. Taylor messed up. We all do.
Now Karlie is married to some billionaire and is a friend of Scouter Briana’s. 😢
This is what the AntiHero video is all about,
her relationship with joe never been healthy
I guess he doesn’t open up in a British way? She is so expressive and he isn’t?
It was supposed to be a break and then he went public that they broke up.