A defibrillator doesn’t restart the heart. It shocks it into a regular rhythm. If someone’s heart stops beating, you gotta start chest compressions as that is literally pumping the heart manually
I still find it weird that the Matoran get enslaved by Antidermis instead of getting Infected by it. Kraata are essentially the same essence but... idk whatever
The Bionicle Buffet, taking place at the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the deepest seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeas.
With the Kanohi Semem: the Mask of Shitposts. This masks floods a targets mind with increasingly more hilarious catchphrases and images, until they pass out from laughter.@@DarthShadow91
Friendly reminder that the Toa Inika masks were themselves organic living beings that would talk to their wearers. If waking up as an adult wasnt jarring enough for Jaller and the others, then suddenly finding masks attached to you that are one step removed from Krana had to be PTSD inducing.
I love that Free the Band was included as part of this canon! I’m just picturing Matoro making the Inika stop their quest just to return some flesh-based lifeforms to their original dimension, which doesn’t even sound that bizarre for BIONICLE lore haha!
"While our previous toa heroes absolutely shit the bed and accomplish nothing but getting their UNMASKED asses KICKED. Also one man is a swarm of bees and communes with the liquified devil."
With two light up swords, a rhotuka launcher and light up eyes, he's loaded with gimmicks, and I think I saw him in the store shelves earlier in the summer than Inika, so he would have been the first opportunity to get those light up weapons. Lack of mask recolor does hurt his desirability a bit though.
@@DCG909 It most certainly was on sale in some stores, as I saw it on shelves in Europe. Store exclusives in US were hard to find sets overseas, but still around in specific stores that stocked them.
@@Boltscrap at least in the netherlands we didn't have them, or there were specialty stores that I didn't know of :s Got Nocturn as a gift from a family that came over from the USA, since I liked that set, but we couldn't find it over here. Vezon and kardas iirc we went on amazon to get it in the end.
At the end of this, I highly suggest you make a short tier list video based on which year had a definitively most cursed lore with the script being read by the same Ai narrator.
The sheer insignificance of two security guards arguing over what to do with the defibrillator is... actually surprising to me. I remember straight up cheering for Axonn when he destroyed the Cursed Vat of Brainwashing to save his friend. Other than that, I love this series so far. Can't wait for the pool party!
He wasn't homeless, cave was his home. P.s. anyone else remember that part in the books where one of the piraka hallucinates all his skin and flesh melting off and just curls up on the stairs and screams? I remember it.
I actually remember watching a version of this that only included “Six children, suddenly turned into adults by a lighting strike during their visit to hell, arrive on the island of Voya Nui. Together, the Toa Inika must fight their way through gang controlled territory to rescue an emo rock band and steal a defibrillator from a mentally ill homeless man.” Glad to see you extended it!
You could've just reposted the original version that stops at the introduction of Vezon, but you went above and beyond, and I can't thank you enough for it
I remember when the Toa Inika first released, and I hated how there was just a smooth piece of green plastic under the mask instead of a robotic face. Now I appreciate the sets so much more, because they are some of the most posable, actiony action figures Bionicle had ever released
"Mentally ill homeless person" is probably the best description you could've given Vezon. The more lore I hear about him, the more remorse I feel for the poor bastard.
I think a lot about Thok's sofa. NOBODY has furniture in this series, the Piraka are way ahead of the game here. Even if that furniture seems to be made out of square rocks.
Did we ever actually free the band in the end? You went to an AAR concert like a month or two back, right? If you caught a glimpse of a gun-toting skakdi or six keeping watch from backstage, you’d tell us, right? Right?
That video game was fun, had some pretty serious bionicle stuff in it, whilest still somehow retaining all the goofy lego game stuff we all love! My only fault with it is more mine then anything; I'm more used to the modern FPS control scheme now! The toy line was pretty good; the hyper specialized rubber masks were pretty annoying, but Vezons mask doing double duty was really cool! Weapons were all PERFECT too, the ball launchers were timeless and the toas' glowy weapons were the pride of every moc I made from that point on! I got Vezon and Fenrakk and Axonn, and while I was always a little sad I never got brutaka for the dragon, Fenrakk was still super badass :D
Ok this is the year i had 0 context for due to onlybplaying bionicles heroes on GBA... which already had confusing depcitions of the toas in it. But learning the final boss of the game was not some giant evil mastermind rhat puppeted the Piraka arround and instead was just a homeless man with a giant pet spider dragon (Which eats him alive in the gba version) was a pleasant surprise to be sure
they just weren't all that central to the ignition plot to be honest, i love those characters tho just couldnt find a way to incorporate them without having to go off on a long tangent to explain them lol
ever since I got a refresher on the lore, I've hated how the ignika just DECIDES to leave for mahri nui IN THE OCEAN when THEIR UNIVERSE IS FUCKING DYING. it'd be way funnier if they went with my idea, have the kardas dragon knock it out of matoro's hand causing it to fly comically all the way out of a convenient hole in the ceiling, do a 360 spin and land in the water plummeting to the depths below.
The fact you have time to make these banger shorts and also write music boggles my mind. Keep it up dude, and be sure to keep us posted if you ever work with Cryoshell again cause I'll buy that song in a heartbeat too.
New from Bionicle: The Toa Inika have dove into the water after the sentient defribrillator and come across a group of self-sustaining edgy children and deranged mutants who back in their day somehow brought God to his knees. The defibrillator turns a random eel into a massive serpent and a child into a prison guard and a golden wrestler gets hired by the deranged mutants to retreive said defibrillator. Elsewhere, the colorful egomaniacs have to do things to wake God up, such as reawaken the beetle roombas and swipe a magic staff. They deal with a dinosaur to force spider mommy to turn the helicopter people into what they once were. The Toa Inika have been turned into deep divers and turn the random serpent into a history lesson, along with a semi-successful mission to get the group of edgy children on their side. The white scuba diver gets captured by the prison guard and is placed in the supervision of a transformer, who immediately breaks him out and reveals himself to be the evil slug father. The deranged mutants get into a civil war with the scuba divers trying to intervene. A random child comes across a depressed guy and his struggles with a serial kidnapper ogre. The robot slug father takes the white scuba diver to steal a gemstone from one of the golden man's former teammates with help from a magic staff mailed to him from a flying psycho shortly before he gets into an argument with the ogre, but the ogre gets yeeted across the pool and the depressed guy tries to get a couple of children to safety along with help from the scuba divers, who got the defibrillator back, but they get attacked by the Voya Nui street gang on the way. The robot slug father gets into a disagreement with the deranged mutants, particularly the white and blue ones and he ends up kicked out of his body while the prison guard ends up with the defibrillator, but the white scuba diver guilt-trips him into giving it to him instead. The scuba divers gracefully annihilate two villages while the white scuba diver goes down into a chasm and does something that will totally not make the entire fanbase cry. The scuba divers get sent back to land and an ancient blacksmith gives the colorful egomaniacs new masks and overpowered armor.
Calling the Mask of Life a defibrillator is… technically correct 😂
Matoro: “CLEAR!” *DISINTEGRATES INSTANTLY*
@@DevaliusBro!
That's literally it's entire purpose. Proving once again that Greater Beings are both smartest and dumbest beings in the universe.
A defibrillator doesn’t restart the heart. It shocks it into a regular rhythm.
If someone’s heart stops beating, you gotta start chest compressions as that is literally pumping the heart manually
@@zidanetribal1406☝️🤓
The fact that you included Umbra, the bionicle character of all time, is astonishing
While not mentioning Axonn or Brutaka at all
@@nezaniatoimyathey're busy
Nobua, Voriki and Good Guy:
@@nezaniatoimya I find it funny how the Matoran resistance was also forgotten despite helping the Toa. But then again, it's kinda hard not to.
I still find it weird that the Matoran get enslaved by Antidermis instead of getting Infected by it. Kraata are essentially the same essence but... idk whatever
I love how you completely glossed over Axonn and Brutaka but made sure to give specific attention to Umbra 😂
UMBRABROS
Axonn and Brutaka don't have rollerskates and are therefore less cool and far more irrelevant
Axonn and Brutaka get into an argument over whose turn it is with the Xbox.
Axxon wanted to complete Halo's campaign so Brutaka got mad because he didn't have his daily dose of Tony Hawk's pro skater.
"So they can revive their dying god."
Each god revived separately
The defibrillator simply wanted to go to the annual Bionicle Buffet
I've heard they have great grilled salmon.
And delicious __
and battery acid and staples and pickled olives and finger nails and grilled salmon
and deviled eggs and paint chips and cone snails and shrimp and live wasps
The Bionicle Buffet, taking place at the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the deepest seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeas.
The Inika Arc was literally just the Toa fighting through Ohio in order to reclaim life-saving medical tech.
As someone who has spent many years living in Ohio, this tracks, except not enough corn fields.
Essenger is the true Chronicler
Facts
Considering the last two Chroniclers became Toa, it won’t be long before we have Toa Essenger.
With the Kanohi Semem: the Mask of Shitposts. This masks floods a targets mind with increasingly more hilarious catchphrases and images, until they pass out from laughter.@@DarthShadow91
Friendly reminder that the Toa Inika masks were themselves organic living beings that would talk to their wearers.
If waking up as an adult wasnt jarring enough for Jaller and the others, then suddenly finding masks attached to you that are one step removed from Krana had to be PTSD inducing.
Especially for kongu, who’s whole tribe save for himself and tanaru were taken over by them
"I am Venom, and you are mine."
"Kolhi head!"
Gets even more weirder when they then go deep sea diving and suddenly those organic masks just kinda turn into ordinary masks.
We have the dynamic duo of Bionicle lore CZcamsrs. Duck Bricks gots his 9 hour lore dump and Essenger got the 1 minute Story recaps.
And turaga maxil, who is smack dab in the middle
There’s literally no lie to any of this.
Excellent summary of my favorite Bionicle era.
Even the human emo band?
@@Glace1221 yes
No I will not give context
@@Glace1221 #FreeTheBand
@@Glace1221 nothing in this video is even exaggerated just worded funny too lmfao
I love that Free the Band was included as part of this canon! I’m just picturing Matoro making the Inika stop their quest just to return some flesh-based lifeforms to their original dimension, which doesn’t even sound that bizarre for BIONICLE lore haha!
If Tren Krom is canon, anything else can be as well LMAO
@@randomjap8431 That's the truth haha!
"While our previous toa heroes absolutely shit the bed and accomplish nothing but getting their UNMASKED asses KICKED. Also one man is a swarm of bees and communes with the liquified devil."
Umbra is such an underrated bionicle, wish more was done with him in the story 💖
With two light up swords, a rhotuka launcher and light up eyes, he's loaded with gimmicks, and I think I saw him in the store shelves earlier in the summer than Inika, so he would have been the first opportunity to get those light up weapons. Lack of mask recolor does hurt his desirability a bit though.
Probably partially due to him being so exclusive, iirc it wasn't even for sale in europe (like half the kits....)
@@DCG909 It most certainly was on sale in some stores, as I saw it on shelves in Europe. Store exclusives in US were hard to find sets overseas, but still around in specific stores that stocked them.
@@Boltscrap at least in the netherlands we didn't have them, or there were specialty stores that I didn't know of :s
Got Nocturn as a gift from a family that came over from the USA, since I liked that set, but we couldn't find it over here.
Vezon and kardas iirc we went on amazon to get it in the end.
@@DCG909I got him and I'm in the UK
I’m glad you made saving the All American Rejects something they actually do in canon.
It was my favorite Bionicle year, especially that mentally ill homeless man and his giant pet spider.
"Vezon's got the cock, but Fenrakk's got the balls---and they're hungry for CU--"
At the end of this, I highly suggest you make a short tier list video based on which year had a definitively most cursed lore with the script being read by the same Ai narrator.
my vote’s for ‘05
@@sentientblender same "the toa are imediately captured by giant toilet spiders and turned into angry furries"
oh yes please!?
It’s wild how the All-American Rejects getting kidnapped by the Piraka is considered canon.
The sheer insignificance of two security guards arguing over what to do with the defibrillator is... actually surprising to me. I remember straight up cheering for Axonn when he destroyed the Cursed Vat of Brainwashing to save his friend.
Other than that, I love this series so far. Can't wait for the pool party!
He wasn't homeless, cave was his home.
P.s. anyone else remember that part in the books where one of the piraka hallucinates all his skin and flesh melting off and just curls up on the stairs and screams? I remember it.
Yep. Shit was dark.
*totaly apporapriate for a grade school audiance*
I actually remember watching a version of this that only included “Six children, suddenly turned into adults by a lighting strike during their visit to hell, arrive on the island of Voya Nui. Together, the Toa Inika must fight their way through gang controlled territory to rescue an emo rock band and steal a defibrillator from a mentally ill homeless man.”
Glad to see you extended it!
The codrex is just god's pacemaker
And I’m still waiting for the All-American Rejects to be rescued!
LEGO, plz revive Bonkles for this epic conclusion we deserve.
I remember the 16 second version of this. The updates really hit home
“Six children suddenly turned into adults by a lightning strike”
Ah so they’re all Shazaam
Axonn's fingers would be so traumatising if conveyed in human anatomy
You could've just reposted the original version that stops at the introduction of Vezon, but you went above and beyond, and I can't thank you enough for it
it woulda still been funny but i didnt wanna disappoint the people who wanted to hear the rest of the story and are used to the longer ones hehe
@@essengerbionicle I assumed you removed the original because you started this series?
Accurate, based, terrific, and horrible. I love it
Lessgooo 2006 was one of the best🎉🗿🗿🗿
We making it out of the volcano bowels with this one
I remember when the Toa Inika first released, and I hated how there was just a smooth piece of green plastic under the mask instead of a robotic face. Now I appreciate the sets so much more, because they are some of the most posable, actiony action figures Bionicle had ever released
Hell is a good way to describe voya nui
im so happy you included the most important canon event of all:
the All American Rejects rescue
Holy fuck Free The Band was such a repressed memory, thanks for reminding us!
The Ignika couldn't get enough of that buffet
Imagine leaving out the dwarf Double-O Seven with the setting's first opposable thumbs, or his giant estranged multiverse-spinoff-enabling chum.
Truly the big halfway turning point of the greatest biological chronicle
"Mentally ill homeless person" is probably the best description you could've given Vezon. The more lore I hear about him, the more remorse I feel for the poor bastard.
Nobody:
Mask of Life: Let’s have a pool party!
But Mata Nui is dy...
*I SAID LET'S HAVE A POOL PARTY, NOW!*
Bro this cursed lore series is keeping me alive
best season of Bionicle. prove me wrong!
What about the part about our egomaniacal heroes getting absolutely bodied by the Piraka
The Inika saving AAR is canon and you cannot convince me otherwise.
Heroes was one of my first videogames i ever played, god that soundtrack slapped
I love how you didn't mention Axonn or Brutaka in any way yet you included Umbra for some reason
I think a lot about Thok's sofa.
NOBODY has furniture in this series, the Piraka are way ahead of the game here. Even if that furniture seems to be made out of square rocks.
we got beds in mnog, they were pretty nice too
I love cursed bionicle lore so much
couldn't've put it better myself.
A pool party sounds lovely, I'm sure all of the toa will come out of it alive.
I'm so glad you mentioned Free The Band. It's canon in my heart.
the Kanohi Ignika: hold on, we haven't achieved peak fiction quite yet [jumps into the pit]
Did we ever actually free the band in the end? You went to an AAR concert like a month or two back, right? If you caught a glimpse of a gun-toting skakdi or six keeping watch from backstage, you’d tell us, right? Right?
That video game was fun, had some pretty serious bionicle stuff in it, whilest still somehow retaining all the goofy lego game stuff we all love! My only fault with it is more mine then anything; I'm more used to the modern FPS control scheme now! The toy line was pretty good; the hyper specialized rubber masks were pretty annoying, but Vezons mask doing double duty was really cool! Weapons were all PERFECT too, the ball launchers were timeless and the toas' glowy weapons were the pride of every moc I made from that point on! I got Vezon and Fenrakk and Axonn, and while I was always a little sad I never got brutaka for the dragon, Fenrakk was still super badass :D
the end killed me! please keep it up!
Portraying Vezon as a ”mentally-ill, homeless man” was just brilliant😂
Ok this is the year i had 0 context for due to onlybplaying bionicles heroes on GBA... which already had confusing depcitions of the toas in it.
But learning the final boss of the game was not some giant evil mastermind rhat puppeted the Piraka arround and instead was just a homeless man with a giant pet spider dragon (Which eats him alive in the gba version) was a pleasant surprise to be sure
I’m still of the opinion that Vezon is the coolest Bionicle character and not even by a little bit.
I love that you used footage from bionicle heroes that’s my childhood right there
The ignition series is hands down the coolest part of bionicle in my opinion who doesn’t love edgy lego robots with massive blasters and huge swords
Bruh vezon is deadpool with a giant spider
I thought I'd already seen this a few months ago but then I got jumpscared by the second half
just when I thought I had seen every design for the Ignika, there's one from a game I've never played
This is much better than the original
If Metru nui is like Ohio. Voya Nui is basically North Sentinel but with gangstas thrown in
I have a close friend into bionicles and I love just sending him stuff like this to make him go off
Oooooh, I've been waiting for this~
Essenger really was like: Nah, Brutaka and Axonn aren’t important to the plot, but UMBRA tho…
they just weren't all that central to the ignition plot to be honest, i love those characters tho just couldnt find a way to incorporate them without having to go off on a long tangent to explain them lol
@@essengerbionicle Oh no I completely agree with you! They aren’t really central. They’re just there to explore the order of Mata Nui really
I always got confused that the Mask of Life had a different design in Bionicle Heroes to the actual Kanohi Ignika.
Mask of Life yeets itself into the ocean igniting a war with literal sushi people.
Directed the rollerskate man was included, but axonn and brutaka kind of feels personal
Man i jave been waiting for your lore meme vids thanks !
Move along started playing in the restauraunt while i fired this up. Pure serendipity
My summary of what follows this is "And then they went into the water"
Love this. This video is the representation of what bionicle is. The summary works for me too as well.
Showing this to my friends, looking at their confused expression, I just tell them "This is cannon"
I was waiting for this one.
Ah yes, the journey to Voya Nui. When traveling through literal hell is the easy and pleasant part compared to what comes after.
Hell yeah spooky pool party here we come!
Damn are boys back on his grind.
I hope nothing bad happens to that white Bionicle at the pool party buffet.
This made me laugh more than it should've, good one!
Ignika arc was my personal favorite
My favorite arc
Ah yes, the emotional torture - I mean Ignition trilogy begins.
ever since I got a refresher on the lore, I've hated how the ignika just DECIDES to leave for mahri nui IN THE OCEAN when THEIR UNIVERSE IS FUCKING DYING. it'd be way funnier if they went with my idea, have the kardas dragon knock it out of matoro's hand causing it to fly comically all the way out of a convenient hole in the ceiling, do a 360 spin and land in the water plummeting to the depths below.
the legendary masks love the ocean somehow
The fact you have time to make these banger shorts and also write music boggles my mind. Keep it up dude, and be sure to keep us posted if you ever work with Cryoshell again cause I'll buy that song in a heartbeat too.
I’m also recreating the entirety of MNOG in virtual reality with a team of three people 😅
@@essengerbionicle Good lord man!
Well, we'll be fine, so long as the defibrillator doesn't float into Guantanamo Bay or anything.
“And steal a defibrillator from a mentally ill homeless man” lmfao
this is my favorite 1, never knew there was more to tell after the 1st mentioning of the mentally ill homeless man
If there isn't a reference to _vezon's got the balls_ we riot
Oh, and there’s something about Brutaka snorting Antidermis like coke…
Bold of you to include the song without regard for UMG acquiring a majority stake in your soul for doing so
The Ignika does a little trolling
New from Bionicle: The Toa Inika have dove into the water after the sentient defribrillator and come across a group of self-sustaining edgy children and deranged mutants who back in their day somehow brought God to his knees. The defibrillator turns a random eel into a massive serpent and a child into a prison guard and a golden wrestler gets hired by the deranged mutants to retreive said defibrillator. Elsewhere, the colorful egomaniacs have to do things to wake God up, such as reawaken the beetle roombas and swipe a magic staff. They deal with a dinosaur to force spider mommy to turn the helicopter people into what they once were. The Toa Inika have been turned into deep divers and turn the random serpent into a history lesson, along with a semi-successful mission to get the group of edgy children on their side. The white scuba diver gets captured by the prison guard and is placed in the supervision of a transformer, who immediately breaks him out and reveals himself to be the evil slug father. The deranged mutants get into a civil war with the scuba divers trying to intervene. A random child comes across a depressed guy and his struggles with a serial kidnapper ogre. The robot slug father takes the white scuba diver to steal a gemstone from one of the golden man's former teammates with help from a magic staff mailed to him from a flying psycho shortly before he gets into an argument with the ogre, but the ogre gets yeeted across the pool and the depressed guy tries to get a couple of children to safety along with help from the scuba divers, who got the defibrillator back, but they get attacked by the Voya Nui street gang on the way. The robot slug father gets into a disagreement with the deranged mutants, particularly the white and blue ones and he ends up kicked out of his body while the prison guard ends up with the defibrillator, but the white scuba diver guilt-trips him into giving it to him instead. The scuba divers gracefully annihilate two villages while the white scuba diver goes down into a chasm and does something that will totally not make the entire fanbase cry. The scuba divers get sent back to land and an ancient blacksmith gives the colorful egomaniacs new masks and overpowered armor.
Appreciate the better Inika pronunciation 👌
Oh boi can't wait for pool party!
Sums up the ark pretty well.
mahri nui here we come
The Ignika was a dick with that go to Mahri move.
Instead of underground, WE ARE GOING UNDERWATER LETS GOOOOOOO
I’m loving these videos and was wondering if there was a way I could use the ai voice you use in these?
Finally I know the lore behind my mentally ill homeless man!