I thought I was healed. I think I was. After years of working on it. Three days ago I was assaulted again. I feel like I'm almost back at the point I was at in 2019. It's so scary and exhausting.
I’m so sorry this happened to you more than once. You aren’t alone in this. Unfortunately, this shit happens all too often in life. I am sending you strength and peace to wherever you are ❤ You will find a way to work through this.
@@you-qm2vehi, sorry for your experience ☹️ I’m trying to help my brother. But he won’t hardly reach acknowledge first. But as my new boss’s family goes through family upheaval- I see what could have been my brothers life- except I know he’s been protected by the hand of God. He doesn’t see it this way. My brother had also given his life to God. Of course he feels betrayed by God instead but he has me to keep reminding him. I’ve had my own battle with God- begging him to save my siblings- and not seeing the improvements I hoped for- and to be able to be with him again. A real family. So I want to extend God’s hope to you 🥹🤍🙏🏼
I'm unbelievably sorry that it happened to you again...please, don't give up on yourself or the hope of having a happy, healed, normal life. There is always hope and help available.
1. Accept the trauma 2. Journaling to let your feelings out 3. Exposure to trigger and controlling your breathing. 4. Confide in somebody/ Establish a support system.
@@Rollwithit699 Hiii, I am a survivor too. I was sexually harrassed, not raped. It happened 7 years ago. I am exhausted too. It's difficult. I fear men, can no longer make friends, parents are least bothered about it. I developed an autoimmune condition post the trauma. To avoid stress, I stopped crying and now I forgot how to cry. I was a high scoring student once, now I am tired. I have no ambitions, no motivation. I don't even know why am I alive. I just wanna come out and tell the people around me the secret. I wanna be free. He is enjoying his life and I am barely surviving,yet I choose to forgive him, not for his sake, but for my peace of mind. I was suicidal, but now I choose to live, though I no longer have the reason to live. I watch funny movies, reels, I laugh. I cannot talk to anybody cuz I am scared of humans. But now I am no longer scared of the social rules as I was before cuz I have already violated them by being harrased. So, I dress for myself, doll myself up, don't give a fuck to anybody anymore. I also listen to comforting asmr for sexual harrasment survivors,I listen to self love affirmations daily. Some day, when I make money, I'll go to a therapist too. From being suicidal to surviving for no reason, I have made a progress, you can do it too🤜🤛. I am rooting for you. My depression reminds me every day that I am gonna die, so I laugh every day for no reason cuz why not. I have failing memory, lack of concentration, muscle cramps, constipation, anxiety, hair fall- my disease taught me whilst I am healthy, I will smile. I am very kind, polite and forgiving to myself cuz I am the only one who stood with me when I needed the most. It is said that our body replaces all the cells in 7 years. So, this October 16, I am gonna celebrate the birth of my body that was absolutely untouched by any man. I hope you find my story useful. My apologies if I don't sound that empathetic, I really don't feel a lot of positive emotions, but I am trying to learn them. Thankyou.
I thought I was healed .. but today I woke up at 3:48 am . I had a dream of my trauma happening to my little sister .. (it hasn't happened to her) But I had that dream and I woke up freaking out crying remembering everything I went through . I ended up in this video , & omg .. 🥺😓 there's nobody to talk to .
I thought I had done enough processing too, but then I woke up to a disturbing dream about it last night as well :( That's how I ended up here. I'm so sorry that you don't have anyone to tell. Maybe there are online support groups you could join? Might be better than nothing
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Guys, don't get consumed by feeling of Revenge, till a day before yesterday, this is something i was doing..... That in the process, I was the one getting problems because I wanted those people to go through the same i went through, my thoughts became really negative..... It affected my health, my daily routine, my work ...... like every aspect of my life..... Now Im fine, i dont want anything, just to be healthy and happy..... Now that ive let go of that feeling, I am at peace......
i didn't go through this trauma, but turns out my friend did. it doesn't seem to be as simple as regular assault, but this framing should help him reframe his experience and live a fulfilling life. Thanks for the info.
Yeah. No, it’s not like a regular assault at all. I’ve been at the receiving end of normal physical assault and sexual assault. The sexual assault really messes with your internal compass. It’s like one of those scenes in the movie where the compasses is by a strong magnet force and just keeps spinning around in all directions. Being sexually assaulted makes it so you don’t want to engage in sexual contact with anyone else because maybe you’d be harming them by doing so. But then sex is supposed to be health? Right? So there’s no internal resolution. _“Sex is good … and bad … healthy … and harmful.”_
i had raped and tortures and nobody couldn,t help me, 20 psychologists, 1 psychiatric doctor, no one couldn,t helped me, i did it by myselt, no family no doctors, how i healed ? i make meditations, read a lot of psychologist books, read books about how deal with people understand humans minds, and more, now i,m good the only person whos can help you is by yourself, i can teach the way to all people whos want to learn my way to heal it
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
@@assiaassia-vm6dh ohh i,m sorry the books what i,ve read was from the 70,s , i don,t remember the books names, but i remember that was books from the years 70,s but i can tell you how you can be better, life is not only black and white, life is like a full of colors, good and bad things is like a teach of life, we get born to live good and bad experiences and thats meaning of life, see the bad things what happened to you like good thing, the meaning of life is 3 things, ( teach , learn and help ) the bad things is ways to learn, when you show you life and how you handle it you are teaching to others to how they need to live, and help is when you tell your experience to how be good not matter what , and when you are good with people is when you are teaching the way to have a best life,
Okay so I don't really talk to anyone about this topic because there was once a time i tried opening up to someone and they just didn't care(?) or try to understand me... I was around the age of 8-10, and two of my cousins sexually assaulted me on different occasions. One was when I went at my relative's house with my family in summer vacation. I just had woken up from my sleep and saw that my cousin who was like 4 years older than me putting his hand in my panties i was so disgusted with myself at that time i still don't wanna think about it. And the second time was when another cousin of mine had come to our house during his free time like he used to visit and stay for around 5-10 days each year in his free time and i really really used to love him as a cousin cause he had a funny personality and used to make everyone in the family smile a lot. So what happened at that time was i wanted to spend more time with him as i enjoyed his company (btw he's around 10 years older than me). I was asleep beside him at the time when in the middle of the night i suddenly felt something between my legs. I froze up at that moment i realised what was happening to me, my mind stop working i was scared. So scared I didn't know what to do... Everytime i remembered these moments i thought okay nothing like that is gonna happen again I'm fine I'm okay. But sometime ago something triggered these memories again like it wasn't something major i was just sitting in my bed with my sister and niece and my brother came up to us and casually place his hand on my shoulder when he was trying to reach to pick up the baby and suddenly all these moments flashed across my mind and i froze. At that time I realised that i still haven't moved in from these traumatic experiences. I didn't do anything to deserve that, sometimes i wished i was a boy so that I wouldn't have to suffer from any of this , i try to look tough in front of everyone but at the end of the day it's just a mask that i put on to make myself look strong and happy.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
I have been sexually assaulted during my whole childhood from 3 to 13 years old by my neighbor. It's been multiple years but i still don't feel like i have healed but i have started a relationship with an incredible girl and i want to be intimate with her at some point just like she does, i just feel like my traumas are making this impossible. It just feels so horrible to want to become closer to someone, show them your trust in them and yet be unable to do so.
Your story resonated so much with me I have almost similar experience back in my childhood but I'm still terrified of relationships cuz of the same reason ❤️🩹 I really hope you can get through this!
the craziest part about my trauma on that specific night is that.. i drank a lot because i knew i'd have to be drunk to be touched by this dude. it was consensual for the first part. but then i blacked out and all i remember was me getting up to my front door to verify if it was locked. then i woke up, realising that i dreamt of checking my door. so i went to check it. then i woke up again, realising that i dreamt both times that i was cheking my door. got up the third time for real, cant remember if the door was locked or unlocked. cant remember if he touched me while i was blackout drunk. cant remember the face of the dude. i was coming off of meth at that time so the alcohol really made me out of my mind. everytime i think about it my entire body gets so tense and i get nervous, cant lay on my back cause thats how i was when it happened. it happened like 3 years ago, im fully sober now. this will forever haunt me. its terrible, to not know if i was raped or not, and to not remember the face of the dude. my neighbours got drunk tonight and i could hear them, and all i can think about is that night. cant sleep until they fall asleep, even tho they never did anything to me. its fucking scary. ill talk to my therapist about it, i just had the flashback and wasnt really thinking about it until now. i wish i could fight back. its 3 years too late now. i wish i could at least call him out on what he did if i ever see him again, but i have no idea what happened and i have no idea who the man looks like. no face no case i guess. (I've been victim of sexual assault 1 time before, the guy is deceased, and raped 2 times before too, by 2 different people at the same location but not at the same time, one of them is now deceased, the other one got away with it because i had to protect myself before anything else, and the 3rd or like 4th time was the one i explained in the comment, dont even know if it was a rape or if he just let me sleep there. pretty sure he did something to me or i wouldnt have this reaction) edit: i forgot, one other time too when a friend of my dad french kissed me. he knew me as a baby thats so fucking disturbing. never talking to my dad ever again. he did nothing except asking his friend for 100 bucks. ive never seen that money.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
I've had this bottled up for years now. At least I told a few people about it but it never feels right, even if they understand or even relate. I was tried to be touched twice by two different people around my age. I don't really feel like saying who was the first person, because they're close and I feel like I have to forgive them. The second person was kid, a prick from my elementary school. I was around 9-10 years old. I remember crying and begging one of them to leave me alone (I was wearing a swimsuit, not a showing one.) I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feeling guilty about it and not telling anyone. Not even my own mother, who is a psychologist and could probably help me heal (I know psychologists can't help family members, but maybe she could help me find someone to talk to, but I just can't find the words to tell her). I thought I'd just brush it off and forget about it with time. But when I turned 12 the memories came back and I started feeling uncomfortable with my own body. I started hating the fact of being born female, of having long hair, and wearing girlish stuff. I wished I was born a boy, and this caused me very harmful gender dysphoria. Through the years I've been cutting my hair shorter and trying to wear more oversized or "boyish" clothing, and even asked my mom to get me a binder, to which she agreed but it didn't fit me. Then the feeling of guilt came along again, I didn't want my family to be disappointed of me for being trans or something like that. Specially my father, cuz, what would he think of his precious little princess wanting to be a prince? I know he would support me anyways, and I know he'll understand everything because I'm his child. That's why I think both of my parents are awesome, and yet I feel awful and guilty again for not trusting them, my own family. I feel like I'm supposed to tell them everything like I promised to, but it's hard when you don't feel ready, or feel uncomfortable, and weird, or just straight up don't know how to bring it up. I'm older now and things haven't changed. I've been getting panic attacks lately, though I'm not sure if to call them that or I'm just seeking attention, which I'm not. That's the least I want. I've even had suicidal thoughts, but that was a long time ago. I don't wanna feel pressured into it, but if something doesn't give me a little push I might as well just keep it to myself forever and never bring it up again while dealing with the trauma. I've tried to be more feminine, but I fall again into hating my body every once in a while. I hate receiving comments about my breasts, or my hips, or my bottom, or my waist, but I'm too scared of saying no. I'm afraid they'll say I'm exaggerating or start to ridicule and minimize my feelings and emotions. I sometimes feel like I'm lying or exaggerating, because I barely got touched. I wasn't raped, and I'm glad I wasn't. I can't get through my head that what I went through is SA as well. I recognize everything they did to me is not right, and yet I still choose to not talk about it. Not because I want to have people go "Oh, poor thing, boo-hoo" or make things harder for myself, no, it's because I'm afraid. This shouldn't have happened. I would've healed earlier if I just told someone. I wouldn't be crying while typing this. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was only a child.
Poor girl 😥 just know it’s wasn’t your fault not at all and for what I’m seeing it’s millions of girl just like you so ask God for healing and you will heal in full ❤
Thre is a light at the end of the tunnel, I didn't think I was ever going to get thre,but I did,and all the support that I hve gotten here was and still is the huge difference maker ! Unfortunately there still are times when it catches up to me again,but I'm thriving,if it gets out of hand again I will seek counseling,I hope that it doesn't. I will post what happened to me once again hre soon. Just remember.. the light at the end of the tunnel does exist .
I just wanted to let everybody know that I hve fallen off the bandwagon again ! What happened to me even though it wss a long time ago has once again resurfaced,for I too was molested a long time ago,the difference is it happened to me as an adult,a boy did it to me many yrs ago,I'll explain as in post my whole story soon.I hve alot of stress going on in my life,and unfortunately this once again is a part of it. Look for my story soon. I will probably seek counseling this time.
My girlfriend recently told me she was sexually assaulted "quite a few times," and I know of at least two (maybe three) instances where she was raped. Two of them were by complete strangers, the other was her ex-athletic coach's husband. I'm now worried about what this may mean for her mental and emotional state and the future of our relationship, is she yet healed enough to be a reliable and stable partner in life and child rearing, etc. Though she seems to be doing fairly well, she's very resilient. How do I best support her?
Encourage her to seek her own help, but never force her to do so. Don’t try to be the one who saves her (because you can’t). Only she can do the work to heal and recover herself. The best thing you can do is just be yourself, listen and be a safe space, and help in whatever way you can and are willing to do if and when she asks for it and things will all work out. I know from experience. ❤️🩹
A lot of patience, understanding, reassurance. Listen to her, show her that you care and are willing however you can to help her (example is she doesn't want any touch or anything sexual for a while show her and tell her that you're okay with it and be okay with it), if you guys are doing anything more sexual be in the moment and be aware of possible triggers if you see a change with her check up on her no matter if you guys are in the middle of doing it. Be gentle, caring, provide a safe place for her always. Be aware that some triggers she won't be aware of either untill they happen or way later she'll realise it was indeed a trigger. Research about these things about her trauma yet don't push information down her throat be really aware that each persons trauma is different and it differently affected a person
I’m in the same boat as you my girl friend told me so got raped as a kid and touched on by two people at different times and I want revenge because I blame myself because I wasn’t in your life at the time to protect her but I was a kid to and I was weak and they were grow but Now I’m strong and I can protect her now but also like you I don’t know how that will effect are relationships in the future or even now. It’s sad and it’s hurting me so much knowing that it’s people that evil in this world 🌍 😢 and same with my ex girlfriend same story different people and it makes me angry and sad.
My trigger is actually kissing anyone. If i stay in contact with them i won't be able to sleep, eat, and will wake up without being able to walk (i feel heavy and as if im sore). So i just can't date. I realised i might be single forever and won't have a family.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Funny, before these things never effected me so much, but as I got older, the memories and images have made me realize how empty I have become. From SA to physical abuse from women and men, I used to think I was normal, then I realized I am not. I also realize there is a reason now, that reason is not my own, but I am not alone in this hurt, though I would never want this on anyone else. Yet I want to lash out, but I know if I do it will only hurt others, so I just suffer in silence. But silence is not doing me so well these days. I am at a lost for words or actions these days. It feels like being hopeless and walled in with no exit. Like, what is the point. F*** people.
I'm asian. Very strict family. Almost 20. Here, victims are silenced. Victim blaming is culture. 30 year old man says 16 year old girl consented to sex and the whole country is in the male side. He's the good one. Why did girl choose to go with him? I was a virgin before my boyfriend. Its not like I'm not at fault. Cause i went to his room . But it wasnt . cause i wanted it. I just wanted time and closeness. He advanced , step by step. I didn't want anything. But i didn't exactly say more than one simple no till foreplays. I said no but it wasn't that big of a no . Then he tried to insert to which i said THE BIG NO. I tried to move myself away. I yelled. But he inserted anyway. I bled. I cried for an hour in his arms cause i still loved him. Then at home 24 hours later i was still crying. I felt so impure and i still do. I thought about leaving but now i feel impure. No one else would ever deserve me. Cause he took my virginity and thus he should be the one who must in any way stay with me forever. So i didn't leave. And I'm still with him. He loves me , he says. He shows he loves me in every other way. He apologises for that. But my heart breaks, shatters everyday. I can't get over it. And i also don't wanna leave. And i dont wanna think of the day he would leave. Cause i feel no other men deserve me. He must take responsibility and stay with me forever. I just am sad. But i still love him. Its been a year. I still feel impure. I think its my fault then i think it isn't. And i overthink. Hopeless. dont know what to do at all
Hey, I'm not within your culture (I'm from the US), and I understand this is probably the norm where you are from, and you probably accept it as such. But I want you to know that you are worthy of finding love and partnership with someone who didn't do such a horrible thing to you. He can't "make it right" by being with you; he can only "make it right" by removing himself from your life and letting you live in peace without his predatory presence! When you said no, whether loud or not, that meant no! No questions about that. And you even said no loudly, at one point. You did everything you felt you should have. It's not your fault. If you just wanted to be close and cuddle, you are not the impure one here!! He took advantage of your trust and closeness. I've been SA'd, too. It's not about whether we as women say no, it should be about men respecting the no. Men who don't respect nos are the problem, not us. Also, if he assaulted you: that's not sex. Sex is consensual and agreed upon. Also, virginity is a complex subject. If you didn't view it as sex, you still are a virgin in my opinion ❤ Also, virginity is a very big part of purity culture. Purity expects women to remain chaste or even celibate until marriage. But why then can men do these things, and it's allowed? Something to think about for you. Regardless of what you think, seek resources in your country for assault and rape, and find someone you can trust to talk to that's a professional. You deserve to heal.❤❤
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Even the thought of it makes me want to cry I am exhausted I want to go back and change everything but I never ever want to experience the same thing again
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
I have significant PTSD from discovering that the older woman that was my mentor had sexually exploited my fiance. we were all living in the same house... he didnt tell me til a year later because he was so embarrassed and thought i would leave him... this is the most traumatizing thing ive ever been through. this whole time we're watching movies and making breakfast... this was going on.. and i feel so much anger and shock still to this day. its been a year. thank you for this. im not sure how to heal but i booked a session with you guys. im determined to learn how to get through this.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
It's most definitely normal not to feel normal after it all right somedays are worst than others it's so hard to work and make money I need some healthy friends to be around while healing maybe who has bern through the same
i dont want to tell my friends about it my parents said it was all my fault for this happening because i wasnt aware of my surroundings and my body language and my friends could probably say im faking it or its still all my fault its almost as if nobody really cares it almost feels unreal ive never told my parents only until now it's been 3 years and i think its really my fault for not saying it sooner but i dont want to be a burden people need to drag around
It not your fault and don’t say that because whatever happened to you is not your fault and My father in heaven said vengeance is his and no one else so he head you and when I mean hear you like he basically your self when you talk to your self but anyway God will give you peace again I promise he will okay ❤️🔥
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Victim shaming.. Shame you will feel in your each work... This is trauma response.. I do feel same.. Shame and guilt... Low self esteem... But with time you will learn to fight with these feelings as I did... Whenever such a thing comes up I say to myslef... It was not my fault.. I am not a victim but a survivor... I am a fighter.. I am a warrior... I deserve everything good.. I am capable of everything... God is with me... Say this to your self you will heal eventually..
Im a 16 year old girl. On a bus back to my hotel in italy i was gr0ped but in the middle of my bum so he also gr0ped my v4gina. This only happend 2 days ago and i want to keep crying, im sick to the stomach and all i did when it happend was cry, now i have anxiety when in crowded place or in buses. On the way home to my home country from Italy I had to go on a bus and could not stop shaking thinking it might happen again, what was meant to be the best trip of my life turned into the worst and has left me weak. I wish this on no one.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
a friend of mine was raped mulitple times by Russian Soliders in Bucha Ukraine. today I tried to find out exactly what happened. She went into some details but shut down. Should I leave this alone? Her husband was killed in front of her and her 11 year daughter was also raped multiple times then killed in front of her. She is now living in western Ukraine and has developed breast cancer.
should i try to pry open old wounds? or leave it alone on what happened to her? my gut tells me to focus on making her smile and playing the piano for her. @@Cherrybombbullies
God, that sounds so devastating. I’m sorry your friend went through all of that. Definitely extend your sympathy and support. Tell her that you will be there for her when she’s ready to talk about it or when it’s bothering her. Don’t put pressure on her to speak, it takes time to open up. Sometimes a long time. Maybe suggest to her that talking to a counselor would be helpful. Aside from all that, there isn’t a ton you can do. But offering a listening ear is already a huge help. Take care of yourself as well! It’s hard to see a friend go through this.
Apologies for the negativity here but I've suffered an enormous amount of trauma (inc. sexual trauma) across a few decades. I'm not sure true healing is possible. At best, a person is left with the mental equivalent of post-surgical scar tissue. The more trauma there is the more extensive the mental "scar tissue". Any sort of irritation and the problem and the pain can come back with a vengeance - making repair even harder. As soon as I start improving something comes along that knocks me backwards.
I feel like its my fault idk. He'd do it to me while i was asleep and id wake up. Then id fall asleep in tears (he never saw those tears) to not feel it. Ive never said anything about it and now im just trying to understand and not feel guilty
you didn’t consent to the trauma, maybe you thought you were ok with something but you ended up not being ok with it, that is how your mind and body reacted, the aftermath, do not deny how bad something makes you feel just because you thought you would be okay with it, and don’t blame yourself, trying to heal from if should be similar, maybe with more emphasis on not blaming yourself :)
What if the trauma occurred at age 4 and I can't remember what gender or what age the abuser was? how can I assign blame to a nameless faceless person that still haunts me?
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
@@Rh-bk8pu I’m not talking about taking vengeance, I’m saying knowing who it was would give me some measure of closure. Please take your cliché bible verses elsewhere, you’re already preaching to the choir.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Ok so i have a question... ive been sexually abused three times. I thought i had healed from it, but now im starting to think otherwise. When mu guy trys to get all sexual with me (like fast movements), i noticed i start breathing heavey and start feeling overwhelmed. I used to think it was simply bc i liked him so much, but now im starting to think its bc it reminds me of my past. I think in his mind he thinks ill think its sexy but in my mind i find it overwhelming and scary. Is this bc i feel like its about to happen again? When he has slow gently movemwnts, im fine, but when he moves fast and alittle dominate, i get scard and overwhelmed. Ive also noticed that when i try to talk about what happened in the past, i start to cry and someone told me if i cant talk about it without crying, i havent healed it, ive just supressed it. So my question is, is this what it is? Is it the sexual abuse im remembering that is causing me to get scard?
My memories came back to me on their own when i was 21 and 26 at two specific times when i felt absolutely safe. Like my mind let down the guard and Bam. Clear as day memories. Counseling and Jesus are the only reasons im still here. ❤
@@DaughterofKings22 oh wow thats very interesting. Jesus told me to seperate from my mum and to move to another city. It took me while to obey but perhaps the reason also was for me to start to feel safe and as ive been in another city he has been revealing some things and I also didnt know I was sexually abused. Ive had some emotions come up and what I sense as a younger part of myself feeling in exhile and locked away and I didnt know why I was feeling that way either.
@@jessicarechichi3706 yeah i always felt something was wrong but i had zero idea what had happened to me until the memories came back. It destroyed my identity and took years of counseling and healing. Jesus really had to bring me through it. I hope that u feel safe in ur new place. Honestly if the memories come, they will come when it's time for you to deal woth them. But if i had my way, i wouldn't have wanted to remember. I was fully functioning and happy before i remembered. Obviously God knew he would pull me through it but, i personally wouldn't go searching for them. I would just move on and go live your life. Your identity is in Jesus and what he has done for you, not whats been done to you. You are a child of God and it doesnt matter what you can or cant remember, nothing changes ur identity in him. I had to learn that and it was gruling work. If the Lord decides its time for ur memories to be dealt with, itll happened, but if you are functioning, happy and healthy, dont try to dig it up. At least thats my opinion. Idk if its right, but if i had a choice i wouldnt have wanted to remember. Sorry for all the rambling lol
i got sexually abused for years ever sense i was 6 or 7 to 11 by my older brother the other day my mom made fun of me told me it wasent real because we’re both kids and laughed at me nd told me it never happend
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
if not delt with, eg through these steps is it possible for it to take over ur body physicaly. i had a seriousle pain outbrake about a year after my sexual trauma, i ve just woken up to find thats where it came from. the parmisation after the trauma and the pain allthrough my upper body holding me back like a straght jacket
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
A 15 year old girls sexually abuse by her brother when she was 8 years old Developed PA hatred feeling thinking to harm his brother She discloses to family But due cultural and religious Boundness they did did much for her now she is depressed Therapist hd started trauma focused therapy What are you comments
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
I was raped at age 5 idk if i would call it rape tho it was mostly manipulative actions and they where my age sooo idk still recovering plus there's a pedo/groomer texting me but I'm scared as fvck to tell him no it's still currently going on I'm 13 and he knows :( i don't know what to do
I would block this pedo, if youre scared hes going to do anything he will not, pedos do not want to be caught, but you should definitely tell a trusted adult or maybe a friend you think might help!
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
And to this day I’m healing my mom ex husband use to threaten me my mom and brothers why he constantly molested me god knows what he’s gone have to deal with
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
Hey, I get where you’re coming from. All these feelings suck, and right now in my life I feel consumed by them. I’m sure you must be tired from all these difficult feelings. I promise you though, there will be a time when this is easier to manage. The memories and feelings may always be there, but you’ll get stronger towards them. Wishing you the best ❤
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” _ Romans 12:19-21
I thought I was healed. I think I was. After years of working on it. Three days ago I was assaulted again. I feel like I'm almost back at the point I was at in 2019. It's so scary and exhausting.
I’m so sorry this happened to you more than once. You aren’t alone in this. Unfortunately, this shit happens all too often in life. I am sending you strength and peace to wherever you are ❤ You will find a way to work through this.
@@laurarivera4088 thank you so much. That's so kind of you
@@you-qm2vehi, sorry for your experience ☹️ I’m trying to help my brother. But he won’t hardly reach acknowledge first. But as my new boss’s family goes through family upheaval- I see what could have been my brothers life- except I know he’s been protected by the hand of God. He doesn’t see it this way. My brother had also given his life to God. Of course he feels betrayed by God instead but he has me to keep reminding him. I’ve had my own battle with God- begging him to save my siblings- and not seeing the improvements I hoped for- and to be able to be with him again. A real family. So I want to extend God’s hope to you 🥹🤍🙏🏼
I'm unbelievably sorry that it happened to you again...please, don't give up on yourself or the hope of having a happy, healed, normal life. There is always hope and help available.
I'm so sorry to hear! I wish you healing. Love 💕
1. Accept the trauma
2. Journaling to let your feelings out
3. Exposure to trigger and controlling your breathing.
4. Confide in somebody/ Establish a support system.
@@Rollwithit699 Hiii, I am a survivor too. I was sexually harrassed, not raped. It happened 7 years ago. I am exhausted too. It's difficult. I fear men, can no longer make friends, parents are least bothered about it. I developed an autoimmune condition post the trauma. To avoid stress, I stopped crying and now I forgot how to cry. I was a high scoring student once, now I am tired. I have no ambitions, no motivation. I don't even know why am I alive. I just wanna come out and tell the people around me the secret. I wanna be free. He is enjoying his life and I am barely surviving,yet I choose to forgive him, not for his sake, but for my peace of mind. I was suicidal, but now I choose to live, though I no longer have the reason to live. I watch funny movies, reels, I laugh. I cannot talk to anybody cuz I am scared of humans. But now I am no longer scared of the social rules as I was before cuz I have already violated them by being harrased. So, I dress for myself, doll myself up, don't give a fuck to anybody anymore. I also listen to comforting asmr for sexual harrasment survivors,I listen to self love affirmations daily. Some day, when I make money, I'll go to a therapist too. From being suicidal to surviving for no reason, I have made a progress, you can do it too🤜🤛. I am rooting for you. My depression reminds me every day that I am gonna die, so I laugh every day for no reason cuz why not. I have failing memory, lack of concentration, muscle cramps, constipation, anxiety, hair fall- my disease taught me whilst I am healthy, I will smile. I am very kind, polite and forgiving to myself cuz I am the only one who stood with me when I needed the most. It is said that our body replaces all the cells in 7 years. So, this October 16, I am gonna celebrate the birth of my body that was absolutely untouched by any man. I hope you find my story useful. My apologies if I don't sound that empathetic, I really don't feel a lot of positive emotions, but I am trying to learn them. Thankyou.
I'm in the same boat rollwithit
@@celestegreer7952 ❤🙏
Look up IAOTRC and Bobbi Parish. I found my answers there, not in therapy. @@Rollwithit699
Exposure therapy here wtf? That doesn’t work for everyone or everything. It can be more traumatizing.
I thought I was healed .. but today I woke up at 3:48 am . I had a dream of my trauma happening to my little sister .. (it hasn't happened to her)
But I had that dream and I woke up freaking out crying remembering everything I went through . I ended up in this video , & omg .. 🥺😓 there's nobody to talk to .
I thought I had done enough processing too, but then I woke up to a disturbing dream about it last night as well :( That's how I ended up here. I'm so sorry that you don't have anyone to tell. Maybe there are online support groups you could join? Might be better than nothing
@@moonbread2334that’s honestly a fire idea! I hope we can find something like this
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Guys, don't get consumed by feeling of Revenge, till a day before yesterday, this is something i was doing..... That in the process, I was the one getting problems because I wanted those people to go through the same i went through, my thoughts became really negative..... It affected my health, my daily routine, my work ...... like every aspect of my life..... Now Im fine, i dont want anything, just to be healthy and happy..... Now that ive let go of that feeling, I am at peace......
i didn't go through this trauma, but turns out my friend did. it doesn't seem to be as simple as regular assault, but this framing should help him reframe his experience and live a fulfilling life. Thanks for the info.
Yeah. No, it’s not like a regular assault at all. I’ve been at the receiving end of normal physical assault and sexual assault. The sexual assault really messes with your internal compass. It’s like one of those scenes in the movie where the compasses is by a strong magnet force and just keeps spinning around in all directions. Being sexually assaulted makes it so you don’t want to engage in sexual contact with anyone else because maybe you’d be harming them by doing so. But then sex is supposed to be health? Right? So there’s no internal resolution. _“Sex is good … and bad … healthy … and harmful.”_
One instance of being touched by a boy a few years older than me has really, really messed me up. Bad.
i had raped and tortures and nobody couldn,t help me, 20 psychologists, 1 psychiatric doctor, no one couldn,t helped me, i did it by myselt, no family no doctors,
how i healed ?
i make meditations, read a lot of psychologist books, read books about how deal with people understand humans minds, and more, now i,m good
the only person whos can help you is by yourself,
i can teach the way to all people whos want to learn my way to heal it
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
plz gimme the name of these book
@@assiaassia-vm6dh ohh i,m sorry the books what i,ve read was from the 70,s , i don,t remember the books names, but i remember that was books from the years 70,s but i can tell you how you can be better, life is not only black and white, life is like a full of colors, good and bad things is like a teach of life, we get born to live good and bad experiences and thats meaning of life, see the bad things what happened to you like good thing, the meaning of life is 3 things, ( teach , learn and help ) the bad things is ways to learn, when you show you life and how you handle it you are teaching to others to how they need to live, and help is when you tell your experience to how be good not matter what , and when you are good with people is when you are teaching the way to have a best life,
Okay so I don't really talk to anyone about this topic because there was once a time i tried opening up to someone and they just didn't care(?) or try to understand me... I was around the age of 8-10, and two of my cousins sexually assaulted me on different occasions. One was when I went at my relative's house with my family in summer vacation. I just had woken up from my sleep and saw that my cousin who was like 4 years older than me putting his hand in my panties i was so disgusted with myself at that time i still don't wanna think about it. And the second time was when another cousin of mine had come to our house during his free time like he used to visit and stay for around 5-10 days each year in his free time and i really really used to love him as a cousin cause he had a funny personality and used to make everyone in the family smile a lot. So what happened at that time was i wanted to spend more time with him as i enjoyed his company (btw he's around 10 years older than me). I was asleep beside him at the time when in the middle of the night i suddenly felt something between my legs. I froze up at that moment i realised what was happening to me, my mind stop working i was scared. So scared I didn't know what to do... Everytime i remembered these moments i thought okay nothing like that is gonna happen again I'm fine I'm okay. But sometime ago something triggered these memories again like it wasn't something major i was just sitting in my bed with my sister and niece and my brother came up to us and casually place his hand on my shoulder when he was trying to reach to pick up the baby and suddenly all these moments flashed across my mind and i froze. At that time I realised that i still haven't moved in from these traumatic experiences. I didn't do anything to deserve that, sometimes i wished i was a boy so that I wouldn't have to suffer from any of this , i try to look tough in front of everyone but at the end of the day it's just a mask that i put on to make myself look strong and happy.
Just know it’s okay and it wasn’t your fault at all, you were just being yourself
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I have been sexually assaulted during my whole childhood from 3 to 13 years old by my neighbor. It's been multiple years but i still don't feel like i have healed but i have started a relationship with an incredible girl and i want to be intimate with her at some point just like she does, i just feel like my traumas are making this impossible. It just feels so horrible to want to become closer to someone, show them your trust in them and yet be unable to do so.
Hey,can I talk to u?( only if you're OK w it pls)
Your story resonated so much with me I have almost similar experience back in my childhood but I'm still terrified of relationships cuz of the same reason ❤️🩹
I really hope you can get through this!
Complex PTSD by Pete Walker is a great book for lifelong neglect and or abuse -- you got this
Thank you :) I was also looking for something to read about CPTSD.
the craziest part about my trauma on that specific night is that.. i drank a lot because i knew i'd have to be drunk to be touched by this dude. it was consensual for the first part. but then i blacked out and all i remember was me getting up to my front door to verify if it was locked. then i woke up, realising that i dreamt of checking my door. so i went to check it. then i woke up again, realising that i dreamt both times that i was cheking my door. got up the third time for real, cant remember if the door was locked or unlocked. cant remember if he touched me while i was blackout drunk. cant remember the face of the dude. i was coming off of meth at that time so the alcohol really made me out of my mind. everytime i think about it my entire body gets so tense and i get nervous, cant lay on my back cause thats how i was when it happened. it happened like 3 years ago, im fully sober now. this will forever haunt me. its terrible, to not know if i was raped or not, and to not remember the face of the dude. my neighbours got drunk tonight and i could hear them, and all i can think about is that night. cant sleep until they fall asleep, even tho they never did anything to me. its fucking scary. ill talk to my therapist about it, i just had the flashback and wasnt really thinking about it until now. i wish i could fight back. its 3 years too late now. i wish i could at least call him out on what he did if i ever see him again, but i have no idea what happened and i have no idea who the man looks like. no face no case i guess. (I've been victim of sexual assault 1 time before, the guy is deceased, and raped 2 times before too, by 2 different people at the same location but not at the same time, one of them is now deceased, the other one got away with it because i had to protect myself before anything else, and the 3rd or like 4th time was the one i explained in the comment, dont even know if it was a rape or if he just let me sleep there. pretty sure he did something to me or i wouldnt have this reaction) edit: i forgot, one other time too when a friend of my dad french kissed me. he knew me as a baby thats so fucking disturbing. never talking to my dad ever again. he did nothing except asking his friend for 100 bucks. ive never seen that money.
I'm so sorry you experienced all of this ❤it's horrible! i wish you all the best and i hope you get to heal❤ you're not alone
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I've had this bottled up for years now. At least I told a few people about it but it never feels right, even if they understand or even relate. I was tried to be touched twice by two different people around my age. I don't really feel like saying who was the first person, because they're close and I feel like I have to forgive them. The second person was kid, a prick from my elementary school. I was around 9-10 years old. I remember crying and begging one of them to leave me alone (I was wearing a swimsuit, not a showing one.) I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feeling guilty about it and not telling anyone. Not even my own mother, who is a psychologist and could probably help me heal (I know psychologists can't help family members, but maybe she could help me find someone to talk to, but I just can't find the words to tell her). I thought I'd just brush it off and forget about it with time. But when I turned 12 the memories came back and I started feeling uncomfortable with my own body. I started hating the fact of being born female, of having long hair, and wearing girlish stuff. I wished I was born a boy, and this caused me very harmful gender dysphoria. Through the years I've been cutting my hair shorter and trying to wear more oversized or "boyish" clothing, and even asked my mom to get me a binder, to which she agreed but it didn't fit me. Then the feeling of guilt came along again, I didn't want my family to be disappointed of me for being trans or something like that. Specially my father, cuz, what would he think of his precious little princess wanting to be a prince? I know he would support me anyways, and I know he'll understand everything because I'm his child. That's why I think both of my parents are awesome, and yet I feel awful and guilty again for not trusting them, my own family. I feel like I'm supposed to tell them everything like I promised to, but it's hard when you don't feel ready, or feel uncomfortable, and weird, or just straight up don't know how to bring it up. I'm older now and things haven't changed. I've been getting panic attacks lately, though I'm not sure if to call them that or I'm just seeking attention, which I'm not. That's the least I want. I've even had suicidal thoughts, but that was a long time ago. I don't wanna feel pressured into it, but if something doesn't give me a little push I might as well just keep it to myself forever and never bring it up again while dealing with the trauma. I've tried to be more feminine, but I fall again into hating my body every once in a while. I hate receiving comments about my breasts, or my hips, or my bottom, or my waist, but I'm too scared of saying no. I'm afraid they'll say I'm exaggerating or start to ridicule and minimize my feelings and emotions. I sometimes feel like I'm lying or exaggerating, because I barely got touched. I wasn't raped, and I'm glad I wasn't. I can't get through my head that what I went through is SA as well. I recognize everything they did to me is not right, and yet I still choose to not talk about it. Not because I want to have people go "Oh, poor thing, boo-hoo" or make things harder for myself, no, it's because I'm afraid. This shouldn't have happened. I would've healed earlier if I just told someone. I wouldn't be crying while typing this. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was only a child.
Hey, can I talk to u( only If you're OK w it pls)
hey you’re not alone and i’m a boy this happened way to many times as well we got this
@@dot6595 I also had an experience,I'll tell u about it later on today.
Your feelings are valid never doubt of yourself🤍
Poor girl 😥 just know it’s wasn’t your fault not at all and for what I’m seeing it’s millions of girl just like you so ask God for healing and you will heal in full ❤
Thre is a light at the end of the tunnel, I didn't think I was ever going to get thre,but I did,and all the support that I hve gotten here was and still is the huge difference maker ! Unfortunately there still are times when it catches up to me again,but I'm thriving,if it gets out of hand again I will seek counseling,I hope that it doesn't. I will post what happened to me once again hre soon. Just remember.. the light at the end of the tunnel does exist .
I just wanted to let everybody know that I hve fallen off the bandwagon again ! What happened to me even though it wss a long time ago has once again resurfaced,for I too was molested a long time ago,the difference is it happened to me as an adult,a boy did it to me many yrs ago,I'll explain as in post my whole story soon.I hve alot of stress going on in my life,and unfortunately this once again is a part of it. Look for my story soon. I will probably seek counseling this time.
My girlfriend recently told me she was sexually assaulted "quite a few times," and I know of at least two (maybe three) instances where she was raped. Two of them were by complete strangers, the other was her ex-athletic coach's husband. I'm now worried about what this may mean for her mental and emotional state and the future of our relationship, is she yet healed enough to be a reliable and stable partner in life and child rearing, etc. Though she seems to be doing fairly well, she's very resilient. How do I best support her?
Encourage her to seek her own help, but never force her to do so. Don’t try to be the one who saves her (because you can’t). Only she can do the work to heal and recover herself. The best thing you can do is just be yourself, listen and be a safe space, and help in whatever way you can and are willing to do if and when she asks for it and things will all work out. I know from experience. ❤️🩹
A lot of patience, understanding, reassurance. Listen to her, show her that you care and are willing however you can to help her (example is she doesn't want any touch or anything sexual for a while show her and tell her that you're okay with it and be okay with it), if you guys are doing anything more sexual be in the moment and be aware of possible triggers if you see a change with her check up on her no matter if you guys are in the middle of doing it. Be gentle, caring, provide a safe place for her always. Be aware that some triggers she won't be aware of either untill they happen or way later she'll realise it was indeed a trigger. Research about these things about her trauma yet don't push information down her throat be really aware that each persons trauma is different and it differently affected a person
I’m in the same boat as you my girl friend told me so got raped as a kid and touched on by two people at different times and I want revenge because I blame myself because I wasn’t in your life at the time to protect her but I was a kid to and I was weak and they were grow but Now I’m strong and I can protect her now but also like you I don’t know how that will effect are relationships in the future or even now. It’s sad and it’s hurting me so much knowing that it’s people that evil in this world 🌍 😢 and same with my ex girlfriend same story different people and it makes me angry and sad.
Leave her, and never speak to her again. You should never expect somebody with this trauma to have your children.
If you love her, you will work through it with her. If she loves herself, she will work on it through herself as well.
My trigger is actually kissing anyone. If i stay in contact with them i won't be able to sleep, eat, and will wake up without being able to walk (i feel heavy and as if im sore).
So i just can't date. I realised i might be single forever and won't have a family.
Look up Dr. Mike Hutchings or Judith MacNutt. Move heaven and earth to go to one of their events.
You will be healed.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I was in denial for years. But depression and anhedonia permeated my life to the point I lost everything.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Funny, before these things never effected me so much, but as I got older, the memories and images have made me realize how empty I have become. From SA to physical abuse from women and men, I used to think I was normal, then I realized I am not. I also realize there is a reason now, that reason is not my own, but I am not alone in this hurt, though I would never want this on anyone else. Yet I want to lash out, but I know if I do it will only hurt others, so I just suffer in silence. But silence is not doing me so well these days. I am at a lost for words or actions these days. It feels like being hopeless and walled in with no exit. Like, what is the point. F*** people.
I'm asian. Very strict family. Almost 20. Here, victims are silenced. Victim blaming is culture. 30 year old man says 16 year old girl consented to sex and the whole country is in the male side. He's the good one. Why did girl choose to go with him?
I was a virgin before my boyfriend. Its not like I'm not at fault. Cause i went to his room . But it wasnt . cause i wanted it. I just wanted time and closeness. He advanced , step by step. I didn't want anything. But i didn't exactly say more than one simple no till foreplays. I said no but it wasn't that big of a no . Then he tried to insert to which i said THE BIG NO. I tried to move myself away. I yelled. But he inserted anyway. I bled. I cried for an hour in his arms cause i still loved him. Then at home 24 hours later i was still crying. I felt so impure and i still do. I thought about leaving but now i feel impure. No one else would ever deserve me. Cause he took my virginity and thus he should be the one who must in any way stay with me forever. So i didn't leave. And I'm still with him. He loves me , he says. He shows he loves me in every other way. He apologises for that. But my heart breaks, shatters everyday. I can't get over it. And i also don't wanna leave. And i dont wanna think of the day he would leave. Cause i feel no other men deserve me. He must take responsibility and stay with me forever. I just am sad. But i still love him. Its been a year. I still feel impure. I think its my fault then i think it isn't. And i overthink. Hopeless. dont know what to do at all
Leave, immediatly, i know this is a very hard step but this men does definitly not love or respect you
Wtf it's abuse
That is silent abuse. Leave or it can get so much worse
leave him, protect yourself, fuck what other people think.
Hey, I'm not within your culture (I'm from the US), and I understand this is probably the norm where you are from, and you probably accept it as such.
But I want you to know that you are worthy of finding love and partnership with someone who didn't do such a horrible thing to you. He can't "make it right" by being with you; he can only "make it right" by removing himself from your life and letting you live in peace without his predatory presence!
When you said no, whether loud or not, that meant no! No questions about that. And you even said no loudly, at one point. You did everything you felt you should have. It's not your fault. If you just wanted to be close and cuddle, you are not the impure one here!! He took advantage of your trust and closeness.
I've been SA'd, too. It's not about whether we as women say no, it should be about men respecting the no.
Men who don't respect nos are the problem, not us.
Also, if he assaulted you: that's not sex. Sex is consensual and agreed upon. Also, virginity is a complex subject. If you didn't view it as sex, you still are a virgin in my opinion ❤
Also, virginity is a very big part of purity culture. Purity expects women to remain chaste or even celibate until marriage. But why then can men do these things, and it's allowed? Something to think about for you.
Regardless of what you think, seek resources in your country for assault and rape, and find someone you can trust to talk to that's a professional. You deserve to heal.❤❤
When I was in class 8th I was raped by my classmate, and again raped in class 12th. And now this is affecting my relationship...😢
Sad
So sorry that happened
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I am 51 and I had my first sexual rel. Last year. Your videos have helped do much to overcome trauma.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
It’s amazing how many people have been sexually assaulted . OMG so many people 😢 story after story .
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Even the thought of it makes me want to cry I am exhausted I want to go back and change everything but I never ever want to experience the same thing again
Have not been my self and the worst part is am unable to talk to anyone about it because no one we believe me because i want to his house
Yes they will because sexually assault is serious and need to be stopped
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I have significant PTSD from discovering that the older woman that was my mentor had sexually exploited my fiance. we were all living in the same house... he didnt tell me til a year later because he was so embarrassed and thought i would leave him... this is the most traumatizing thing ive ever been through. this whole time we're watching movies and making breakfast... this was going on.. and i feel so much anger and shock still to this day. its been a year. thank you for this. im not sure how to heal but i booked a session with you guys. im determined to learn how to get through this.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
It's most definitely normal not to feel normal after it all right somedays are worst than others it's so hard to work and make money I need some healthy friends to be around while healing maybe who has bern through the same
i dont want to tell my friends about it my parents said it was all my fault for this happening because i wasnt aware of my surroundings and my body language and my friends could probably say im faking it or its still all my fault its almost as if nobody really cares
it almost feels unreal ive never told my parents only until now it's been 3 years and i think its really my fault for not saying it sooner but i dont want to be a burden people need to drag around
It not your fault and don’t say that because whatever happened to you is not your fault and My father in heaven said vengeance is his and no one else so he head you and when I mean hear you like he basically your self when you talk to your self but anyway God will give you peace again I promise he will okay ❤️🔥
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Victim shaming.. Shame you will feel in your each work... This is trauma response.. I do feel same.. Shame and guilt... Low self esteem... But with time you will learn to fight with these feelings as I did... Whenever such a thing comes up I say to myslef... It was not my fault.. I am not a victim but a survivor... I am a fighter.. I am a warrior... I deserve everything good.. I am capable of everything... God is with me... Say this to your self you will heal eventually..
Im a 16 year old girl. On a bus back to my hotel in italy i was gr0ped but in the middle of my bum so he also gr0ped my v4gina. This only happend 2 days ago and i want to keep crying, im sick to the stomach and all i did when it happend was cry, now i have anxiety when in crowded place or in buses. On the way home to my home country from Italy I had to go on a bus and could not stop shaking thinking it might happen again, what was meant to be the best trip of my life turned into the worst and has left me weak. I wish this on no one.
Have you tired telling the police because this is so recent
I’m so sorry that there are so many evil people out there
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
a friend of mine was raped mulitple times by Russian Soliders in Bucha Ukraine. today I tried to find out exactly what happened. She went into some details but shut down. Should I leave this alone? Her husband was killed in front of her and her 11 year daughter was also raped multiple times then killed in front of her. She is now living in western Ukraine and has developed breast cancer.
Sounds like she needs someone like you ❤
should i try to pry open old wounds? or leave it alone on what happened to her? my gut tells me to focus on making her smile and playing the piano for her.
@@Cherrybombbullies
God, that sounds so devastating. I’m sorry your friend went through all of that. Definitely extend your sympathy and support. Tell her that you will be there for her when she’s ready to talk about it or when it’s bothering her. Don’t put pressure on her to speak, it takes time to open up. Sometimes a long time. Maybe suggest to her that talking to a counselor would be helpful. Aside from all that, there isn’t a ton you can do. But offering a listening ear is already a huge help. Take care of yourself as well! It’s hard to see a friend go through this.
Oh my god……😢😢😢😢
Їй нормально що ви поширили її історію? І мені дуже шкода що так трапилось. Навідь немає слів.
Apologies for the negativity here but I've suffered an enormous amount of trauma (inc. sexual trauma) across a few decades. I'm not sure true healing is possible. At best, a person is left with the mental equivalent of post-surgical scar tissue. The more trauma there is the more extensive the mental "scar tissue". Any sort of irritation and the problem and the pain can come back with a vengeance - making repair even harder. As soon as I start improving something comes along that knocks me backwards.
I feel like its my fault idk. He'd do it to me while i was asleep and id wake up. Then id fall asleep in tears (he never saw those tears) to not feel it. Ive never said anything about it and now im just trying to understand and not feel guilty
does this apply to sexual trauma that you consented to?(idk how to explain)
you didn’t consent to the trauma, maybe you thought you were ok with something but you ended up not being ok with it, that is how your mind and body reacted, the aftermath, do not deny how bad something makes you feel just because you thought you would be okay with it, and don’t blame yourself, trying to heal from if should be similar, maybe with more emphasis on not blaming yourself :)
Opening up about it is the most embarrassing thing ever. I didn't cause it. Its his own selfishness. His own foolishness. His own stupidity
Video starts 1:16
When you are going out how do you feel normal around people after the rape and trauma
Thank you so much !
What if the trauma occurred at age 4 and I can't remember what gender or what age the abuser was? how can I assign blame to a nameless faceless person that still haunts me?
Oh my god me too 🥺🥺 Sometimes when you tell the story no one believes you but you really know what happened to you.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
@@Rh-bk8pu I’m not talking about taking vengeance, I’m saying knowing who it was would give me some measure of closure. Please take your cliché bible verses elsewhere, you’re already preaching to the choir.
It feels so confusing and numb I feel so helpless at certain points
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Ok so i have a question... ive been sexually abused three times. I thought i had healed from it, but now im starting to think otherwise. When mu guy trys to get all sexual with me (like fast movements), i noticed i start breathing heavey and start feeling overwhelmed. I used to think it was simply bc i liked him so much, but now im starting to think its bc it reminds me of my past. I think in his mind he thinks ill think its sexy but in my mind i find it overwhelming and scary. Is this bc i feel like its about to happen again? When he has slow gently movemwnts, im fine, but when he moves fast and alittle dominate, i get scard and overwhelmed. Ive also noticed that when i try to talk about what happened in the past, i start to cry and someone told me if i cant talk about it without crying, i havent healed it, ive just supressed it. So my question is, is this what it is? Is it the sexual abuse im remembering that is causing me to get scard?
What if you don’t remember any memories consciously ? How do you remember the memories ?
My memories came back to me on their own when i was 21 and 26 at two specific times when i felt absolutely safe. Like my mind let down the guard and Bam. Clear as day memories. Counseling and Jesus are the only reasons im still here. ❤
@@DaughterofKings22 oh wow thats very interesting. Jesus told me to seperate from my mum and to move to another city. It took me while to obey but perhaps the reason also was for me to start to feel safe and as ive been in another city he has been revealing some things and I also didnt know I was sexually abused. Ive had some emotions come up and what I sense as a younger part of myself feeling in exhile and locked away and I didnt know why I was feeling that way either.
@@jessicarechichi3706 yeah i always felt something was wrong but i had zero idea what had happened to me until the memories came back. It destroyed my identity and took years of counseling and healing. Jesus really had to bring me through it. I hope that u feel safe in ur new place. Honestly if the memories come, they will come when it's time for you to deal woth them. But if i had my way, i wouldn't have wanted to remember. I was fully functioning and happy before i remembered. Obviously God knew he would pull me through it but, i personally wouldn't go searching for them. I would just move on and go live your life. Your identity is in Jesus and what he has done for you, not whats been done to you. You are a child of God and it doesnt matter what you can or cant remember, nothing changes ur identity in him. I had to learn that and it was gruling work. If the Lord decides its time for ur memories to be dealt with, itll happened, but if you are functioning, happy and healthy, dont try to dig it up. At least thats my opinion. Idk if its right, but if i had a choice i wouldnt have wanted to remember. Sorry for all the rambling lol
thx
i got sexually abused for years ever sense i was 6 or 7 to 11 by my older brother the other day my mom made fun of me told me it wasent real because we’re both kids and laughed at me nd told me it never happend
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Hi, it's the word for me, the r word just pops up continuously in my Head, how can I stop this. X
Consult Dr. Mike Hutchings or Judith MacNutt and go to one the events. It’ll change you forever.
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
if not delt with, eg through these steps is it possible for it to take over ur body physicaly. i had a seriousle pain outbrake about a year after my sexual trauma, i ve just woken up to find thats where it came from. the parmisation after the trauma and the pain allthrough my upper body holding me back like a straght jacket
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
A 15 year old girls sexually abuse by her brother when she was 8 years old
Developed PA hatred feeling thinking to harm his brother
She discloses to family
But due cultural and religious
Boundness they did did much for her now she is depressed
Therapist hd started trauma focused therapy
What are you comments
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
Thanku💗
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I was raped at age 5 idk if i would call it rape tho it was mostly manipulative actions and they where my age sooo idk still recovering plus there's a pedo/groomer texting me but I'm scared as fvck to tell him no it's still currently going on I'm 13 and he knows :( i don't know what to do
Definitely tell an adulf
@@mw3alexisgaming393 yeah
tell an adult you trust, if its not your parents you can try one of your teachers that you trust x
I would block this pedo, if youre scared hes going to do anything he will not, pedos do not want to be caught, but you should definitely tell a trusted adult or maybe a friend you think might help!
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
And to this day I’m healing my mom ex husband use to threaten me my mom and brothers why he constantly molested me god knows what he’s gone have to deal with
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21
I will never heal
Hey, I get where you’re coming from. All these feelings suck, and right now in my life I feel consumed by them. I’m sure you must be tired from all these difficult feelings. I promise you though, there will be a time when this is easier to manage. The memories and feelings may always be there, but you’ll get stronger towards them. Wishing you the best ❤
I wish u the best too !
Thinking that you won't heal u won't gotta change mindset keep pushing forward everyone can heal x
Honestly it doesn't help not for me maybe for you it will.
Very surface level stuff here…
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Leave in God's hands. God doesn't forget anything and anything:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, o“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
_ Romans 12:19-21