I Have to Tell a 34-Year-Old Man to Clean His Room!
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- čas přidán 29. 09. 2020
- I Have to Tell a 34-Year-Old Man to Clean His Room!
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Am I the only one just by reading the title at first thought this was about someone’s 34 year old son? Not fiancé
No me too
@@andreysergeevich2945 I wonder how that happened?!!!
Lol well. He is kind of the kid in this relationship if he can't function like a basic human being. Honestly like. Why. I'd say yeah, she's got a kid.
Me too!
Yeah !
You're not too old to start over, dump him and find a real partner not a child
She has less bargaining chips now though. Maybe she'll get another beta male. Well maybe he's not so beta, he has a woman cleaning his toenails.
You must not have been in the dating market for the past decade
To be honest that man has gotten too comfortable in that relationship.
So did she.
Yes He needs to be suffering. 😂😂😂
Waldo Armijo
I think he is if she’s still there.
He’ll be fine when she leave.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 Exactly
I think she's also been procrastinating to leave this man for years.
Reality check: Amy you just wasted 10 years of your life 😂
She loved every minute of it. She knew exactly what this man was about.
Sad but true
Why is that funny?
That's why she doesn't want to get rid of him, she's 10 years invested in him and if she dumps him then it feels like those 10 years were wasted so she's trying to salvage the situation.
Lol not trying to be mean but to add to this; Congrats Amy, you played yourself 😅
Clean his room yourself by putting all his stuff outside and then lock the door😂
Yes!!!!!! 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is the only solution. 💯💯💯
Thank you
You got me in the first half, haha
“My finacé, who I’ve been dating for 10 years, is a huge procrastinator.”
Me: .......you think???
10 years wasted. She should just move on.
RoyalMasterpiece most women think and try to change the guy. She doesn’t wanna leave because the D and finances.
😂
He's a loser. No need to talk because it's been 10 years. He didn't want to marry you or he would of done it. It's not ever going to happen.
lol
10 years, unmarried and concerned about the gentleman's flaws? Sweetheart, this is your choice of deal. A man knows if he wants to marry you within a few months especially if he actually wants marriage. So so sorry.
Very true!! That's her first problem sticking around 10 years with no commitment. It sounds like she's trying to mother him instead of having a healthy partner
My wife and I have been married for over 25 years. I knew within two months I wanted to marry her.
@@johnallen3497 Amen I agree!!! People know pretty early on whether or not they see commitment/marriage with another person. This lady stuck around ten years tolerating and settling
@@johnallen3497 Same! First thing, he told his friend is, "I think I met my wife." Friend told me when we were engaged, been married 3yrs & 2kids --not impressive but when he knows he knows 🤷♀
@@eddytheengineer My husband knew after our first date, and we've been married over 30 years!
No disrespect to the caller, but this situation is pretty pathetic and sad.
kimberly77ish
She obviously loves him but is probably feeling trapped at the same time. A shame she didn’t call five years ago.
But no disrespect, right? PATHETIC, but no disrespect.
Pshhh, get outta here with that....
@@AsheaO No. YOU GET OUT OF HERE TROLL. Move on to someone else with your miserable comments. What I said is the truth. If you don't agree move on. Since you feel so strongly about this, instead of replying to my comment why don't do track down the caller and help her fiancé clean his room, lol.
Listen to her trying to be a grown mans mother. Sweetheart if you ain't happy then move on find another partner. Simple
People date for too long, feel like they are stuck and settle for someone who doesn’t truly make them happy. You know within months or even weeks if you’re going to marry someone. Like Dave says, paint or get off the ladder!
“He’s a procrastinator” ya apparently he’s procrastinating marrying you too!!
I’d marry you in a heartbeat
Ouch
@@user-hd8ej8yx9p simp
Bingo
10 years so too long to date someone and not get married in my personal opinion
So, if she has a child with this guy, she'll have 2 kids.
@NurturingTalents no, the man is acting like a child
She helicopter parents the boyfriend enough, imagine how bad she’ll be with a kid.
2:50 Anthony's face when she say's she tells him to clean his room 😄
I love Anthony...I replayed and laughed a couple times
My man’s in complete shock
I can see the questionmarks floating above his head hahaha
"Amy this is your fiance or your pet?" -Dr. D
This had me dying 🤣
The look on Anthony's face when she said she tells him to clean his room😂😂
"I don't control the way someone thinks" end of call.
Lord🤦🏾♀️Baby girl, you can't raise a man honey. His momma did that already. Now let's talk about why you are 10 years in and still PLAYING house.
😂😂😂😂😂
Because she knows all about him and has no problem with it. She didn’t just find out yesterday...
Yessss that was the biggest issue sticking around ten years with no commitment!!! She's settled on a man child.
10 years and no marriage? Obviously she is no catch. 🍰📍🍗🍖🍔🍕🍟🍧🍨🍦
My thoughts EXACTLY!!! 👏👏👏👏👏
I can’t with this call. Girl, RUN.
She could trip over her favorite fantasy word “fiancé” if she run too fast.
You don't think she's to blame at all? They are both contributing to the problems.
You get what you put up with.
Best comment thus far, and so true!!!
Yeah. People will do what you allow and tolerate. She stuck around 10 years when you would've seen his character and behavior within a decade.
Truth
Very well said. I love that!!!
The exact reason I dumped my partner of 4 years
As a girlfriend never start doing stuff you're not willing to do your whole life
Seriously my current situation. It finally came to a head during the quarantine. I decided I no longer would allow myself to be a rehab for a grown man. He decided he wanted to change, made some minimal changes. I’m just not interested anymore. I hope the caller finds her footing because 10 years is a long time and she deserves better.
Don't try to change him. Just leave.
ALL OF THIS. 👏
Wow this is brutal. He is not ready for a relationship.
Here's what I did...
I left it as is and the place got so messy to the point where we were walking on top of clothes and messes. I left the dirty dishes and didn't take out the trash and left trash everywhere. I didn't clean the bathroom. I left everything as he liked it.
I responded back the same way, "I'll do it later."
He finally realized how things were without basic cleaning tidying up. He now understands and is keeping up with the place. We're in our mid 30s too.
You both are wasting each other time. 10 years together and not married? You decided to play house with a man who acts like a child and think you will change him. Both need move and do you.
latrina smith tell us more about your relationship
latrina smith I agree
Wow this is the perfect advice !!
She either accepts it or she wants to be his mom.
Together for 10 years and engaged but not married...... You're both Procrastinating.
Together for 10 years.... But have separate rooms?...
Separate rooms means he's definitely roommates
There are a lot of little boys in a grown man's body.
And he could be a genius.
Some women like the Bad Boys. Then complain when they do bad things. I don't want to hear them whine & complain
A lot of white knights too. Women like to pass off as blameless.
All because many women are just like this one. "Oh honey you didn't fold the towels "right" (the way I like them). You didn't get to xyz in the time frame I wanted. My way is the better way to wash the dishes." And they just redo and condescend how the guy in their life does things. Most guys simply don't care if the towels look "perfectly" folded. They fit in the closet, they are clean, a perfectly aligned corner doesn't matter to them. And that is OKAY. Are some people pigs and the majority would say they are in the "wrong"? Sure. But you decide what your standards are. Someone else might think YOU are the messy one. You have to decide what you need compatibility wise.
By the sounds of it. His room still gonna be dirty in 5 years. Needs to grow a backbone.
There is sooooo much wrong with this. They need professional counseling
I don't think they need professional help to just pick up after themselves.
No, she needs to run!
@@DSanchez0424 The not picking up after themselves is the symptom
@@DSanchez0424
You don't.
No Josh, they need to break up.
Title should read: “I have to tell a 34 year old *BOY* to clean his room.”
Well he's obviously a procrastinator in all ways. Dating for 10 years and still fiance? Tell him to please clean it's giving me anxiety. I need that kick sometimes.
@Gerardo Garcia 4 to y do 4h
People don't get married as much as they once did. They call their significant other their fiance for 20yrs while living together. A real shame.
Lol forreal too many situationships
Larry Byrd amen! My husband and I got engaged after 1.5 years plus another year engagement. Honestly I wish our engagement was shorter! Married life is the best 🥰
Why is it sad.
@@Micheal93k It's shameful
@@thewifelife007 why
I absolutely love the look on AO’s face when she said for him to clean his room. Lol
I love Anthony's advice here and it definitely sounds like insecurity issues. A lot of guys just feed of that it's sad but most of us guys take advantage of an insecure woman. The more it goes on, the more insecure and weaker she gets. She needs to put a stop to it immediately.
Anthony is a good man. I’m praying for a husband like him. 🙏🏾 God bless that man!
He's single!
@@Steve-Utah yes he is and looking
Sounds like a job for Jordan Peterson
He needs to clean his room and rise to the top of the lobster hierarchy
Ya know? So...
We need a Jordan Peterson Dave Ramsey interview. It would be great
mauahahahhahahahahahaha
Dave suggests rice and beans, Jordan counters with carnivore only.
Yes because she was probably being a wife before they were married and giving too much too soon. He became complacent because she showed him he didn’t have to legally marry her in order for her to act and be a wife. Who knows.🤷🏿♀️
Exactly. Say it louder for those in the back!
So why stop that now?
Anthony, my heart just broke when you asked if she realized she had value.
I needed to hear that.
Thank you ❤️
My lady, stop wasting time. As women, we can't waste time because our youth is fleeting. Stop wasting time. Leave that guy, find Jesus Christ, take time to heal, discover your divinely appointed purpose and run after that purpose. Stop wasting your valuable years with this dude. Next 10 years, he still wouldn't have married you. My dear, there are many more options out there!
Sometimes women do soo much charity work on men you think a man would tolerate this they’ll run FAST
How about she proposes to him? Why the guy gotta marry the girl? I thought women wanted equality
What about divorce? What’s the difference between living together for 10 year and a piece paper that legally binds the man to even more debt?
That's why she doesn't want to get rid of him, she's 10 years invested in him and if she dumps him then it feels like those 10 years were wasted so she's trying to salvage the situation. She knows that she's not getting any younger but she's in too deep with this guy.
I love these guys together. They have a great rapport with each other that gives a useful (not the right word but you know what I mean) balance to their answers.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Anthony nailed it- does she know her value? I swear, some people will put up with anything just to have someone say they love them. It’s not a waste of time if you don’t want ten more years of what you had
How did this question get through? This has nothing to do with anything whatsoever lol
😂😂😂😂😂
For nothing more than to stir up a good comment section
Im gonna call Dave Ramsey and ask his advice on what kind of leaf blower works best for snow.
That guy is a counselor.. it’s a relationship question...
Brittany Tarto he has his own channel for that
There’s no sugar coating with this one. Well done! ✅
Been together 10 years and no ring. Remember that expression about why buy the cow if you get the milk for free. Kick him to the curb.
Unrelated note: I like these two together, a bomb duo
I agree!! Love them together. Love Chris Hogan as well.
I really agree with the fact that she doesn’t value herself. If a man does this to me, boy boy bye!!!
Lol you praising him is he a four-year-old child. 😂😂😂
Dave please give Dr D and Anthony a show together. I love hearing them together
He did. You just watched it.
AO kept it real and John kept it professional. Love this duo
02:51 AO's reaction 😆 Priceless
I've seen too many ppl waste 10 years on these so called relationships 🤦 Move on hun, he ain't going to change.....
Honey, please love and respect yourself enough to bail from this situation. You deserve a partner, not a child. You're worth it. What he does with himself after you leave is his responsibility, not yours.
I made this mistake but I was able to exit after 5 years, it was a huge part of my life wasted but at least I cut her loose after 5 years and I’m not still hanging on for 10
"Dumpster Fire" is the show's new favorite catch phrase 😂
He's not a man, you're treating him like a child... Call off the engagement and find a man who can clean up after himself. Likewise, check yourself and don't fall for mediocrity! You deserve the best, Girl!
NurturingTalents why isn’t she worthy? Because of a child?
NurturingTalents Not only is it offensive it isn’t true. There are plenty of single moms who aren’t single by choice. There’s widows and domestic violence and dead beat dads who leave the mother of their children. You’re views are naive and disrespectful.
NurturingTalents who are you to judge? You don’t know everyone’s story. For you to say you don’t mind disrespecting people “ who are really just terrible” because they’re single mothers is ill-mannered and misogynistic.
You may need Jordan Peterson for this job.
“ I tell him what to do, and then I nag him” Gee, I wonder why he doesn’t want to marry her.
They needed to ask if the guy works and what kind of hours he has, and why do they have separate rooms.
She said it was a man cave
brown bird
I cant say I agree with that.
But it shouldnt be where he sleeps, they should be sharing a room at this point.
So she is so controlling that she can’t let him have one room in the house??? That’s f’d.
I wouldn’t marry her either.
Thankfully someone is being fair. The amount of white knighting from Dave and his commenters is typical.
Too much “you go girl!” nonsense.
@@jpined14 There is a good chance he is really a procrastinator / slob. And she does not like that in a man and would like it to change. I guess if she takes that to heart she will end up leaving the man-child. If he needs to be told to clean up all the time - she shouldn't tell hi. and he shouldn't need the remembering.
Thank you, next.
I'm a chronic procrastinator. It's what I do. I will do what I am supposed to, it's just sometimes a matter of priority. My fiance and I have been together 10 months and I can't wait to marry her, that is a priority. There's no excuse, he doesn't want to marry her because she's not more important than the other things he's doing. My fiance is my #1, always, in every decision we make we put eachother first.
Sound so sweet.
To be honest something wrong with this girl for many many years..... low self-esteem, doubting little girl. A confident and independent woman will never stock with it. Get rid of this mess, and find a good pastor or family counselor for YOURSELF.
Clean up after your man or move on. It’s that simple. You’re not gonna raise him and he isn’t going change. You clean up because you want it clean or get a new 👨 man.
Anthony is so right. I did all the mistakes this lady does. I was insecure, I thought if I stoped doing things for him he would leave me. I did not know my value.
Not a man. Get a real man. ?? Life is literally what you make it to be.
I agree with Anthony. There are lots of men who aren't lazy..its just us women who have to learn what value we hold, what a quality man is, and avoiding the counterfeits.
I was just talking about these situations with my grandmother less than an hour ago. I can't understand why these women stay in these relationships even though there are so many other males available.
Insecurity. AO was on the nail with this one 👌
I really needed to hear this too. Especially as im reaching my 30s and the insecurity of finding a husband may lead me to taking more desperate choices.
Being desperate is a turn off. You will find the one. Focus on yourself and you'll find love in the least likely of places. Honestly being single is better than being with someone who is a complete loser.
I don't get it so many men would be with a mature women how do you have trouble
One thing I haven't heard said. Could it be that he's depressed?
Depressed people have a hard time cleaning and even keeping up their hygiene.
@@exceldetail well be strong.
I've been in the dark pits of depression to the point of being suicidal, more than once, and have seen this part of it where I let myself go entirely. I ate like trash, skipped showers, and my home and car was getting messy. And its a vicious cycle; the worse things become BECAUSE of your depression, the worse your depression becomes.
And having someone nag at you doesn't help.
@@thomashaas5965 thank you for sharing and I can relate as I've been depressed myself before. As a counselor, I can say you are correct. It's a vicious battle and you stop taking care of yourself when it hits commonly. I hope you are doing well now ; )
If it’s depression then thats a whole different issue. She still will have a difficult time living with her fiancee if he doesnt want to get help. I dont think anything she said in the call makes me think depression as she was only saying he procrastinates. So majority of the people jump to conclude he is lazy.
@@anitaknight3915 thank you! Yes i am much better these days. I never sought treatment but I was looking for underlying reasons why I would be depressed.
@@J3rRo0o thats how I was. You procrastinate when you're depressed because you never feel like doing anything. There might be things you WANT to do but when it comes down to really getting it done you're too tired.
When you think you have a major award but it's really just a leg lamp.
Oh my gosh!! 😂🤣👏🏽
I'm crying laughing
Tears are streaming down my face 😭😭
I ended a relationship a few months ago and this is so true. I thought I had a major award but it was just a leg lamp 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Now I have to go watch that movie early!
😜😂😂😂
It’s from Fra jill eee! 😂🤣😅
Great example!
Just tell him “get up you lazy bum and do something”
Wow. I love it. Anthony and Dr. John - two awake gentlemen. And the two of you have such a great rapport in this video. Nice work. Namaste
My fiance' of 10 YEARS IS A PROCRASTINATOR. He waited 10 years to to get married to you so this will fall in all aspects of his life including cleaning.
The thing is it has been 10 years but they are still only fiances and not even married. Who knows when the actual wedding day is. It could be another 5 years until they officially tie the knot.
@@erichchan3 20
Why would he clean while he knows you're there to pick up after him. He's doing it to be selfish and lazy + he's disrespecting you and your time.
If you want to live with someone who'll need care, I think there are a bunch of kids waiting to be adopted. You'll probably get more love out of them too.
Little kids, especially toddlers, are wells of absolute love and adoration. Dogs too! A dog will always love you.
As long as she’s taking it he’s gonna keep dishing it out 🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Anthony asked a very valid question! I hope she hear him so she can answer that for herself.
It sounds like she knows he isn't what she wants in her future, but after 10 years it's hard to let go of someone that's become comfortable like family.
Its a priority issue.
good advice. good stuff
I thought the call is about a parent complaining about a 34 years old son living in the garage.
My favorite two Ramsey Personalities, and I’m glad they have their own platform now.
Great call and good chemistry between delony and AO
This was a great effort today, great advice to. Awesome work guys!
This call gets more and more ridiculous the more I listen
She needs to go to counseling by herself before having this conversation with him. She needs to be reminded of her worth. ...ladies, please don't live with a man if he is not your husband.
This is great advice
"What are you attracted to?" 👏👏👏
Great conversation!
I’m confused.. where’s the financial advice? Is this just relationship counseling now??
Yes - that is a spin off - this is only relationship advice (I meant money can pop up, but for the most part it is other things. Mental health, parenting, infidelity, adoption, ... )
As with many of your lives choices, the people you choose to be with are a reflection of who you are.
Didn’t know Dave Ramsey provided free therapy sessions too 🥴
Delony is a psychologist by training, that is a spin off, it is not explicitely on finances and for the most part the issues are different. Relationships, parenting, trauma, ...
Anthony called it... a woman does not know her value if she puts up with a man-boy. You have to be whole before you are half
What does this have to do with personal finance? Be his mommy or break up with him.
It has nothing to do with fianances. That is a spin off for general counseling. Delony is a psychologist / counselor by training.
We needed Dave for this call.
THIS is my 34yr old step son. Does nothing, promises everything, doesn't clean, skips work, and barely bathes. His Mom still does his laundry and says, well he's mentally ill so I have to help him.
Reach out to a mental health agency. Tell your spouse you need to plan for the stepson’s future, because his parents won’t live forever.
Kick his sorry little behind to the curb.
It took you 10 years to figure this out?
I love this collar so much. I’m sure you’re a sweet woman.
Maybe too sweet for your own good.
I find it disgusting how there are so many comments abdicating her of any responsibility, they are both at fault. We don't know anything more than he doesn't clean up and they haven't gotten married in their 10 year relationship which is a major red flag for both of them.
The call doesn't address anything more. How do we know she doesn't do things that drain the life out of this guy, perhaps he works 12+ hours a day and maybe she works 10 hours a week, I'm not saying any of this is true but that's the point, we don't know.
I'm so sick of this blatant defend the woman at all costs narrative. I'm all for defending people and giving people justice when needed regardless of gender but when we don't know any of the details and people are here making such brash assumptions and slinging mud and voicing their support for this woman they know nothing about.
She couldn't recognise the logic behind sitting her fiance down and having a serious, heartfelt discussion about her hang ups so it should be patently obvious she has work to do in her personal development.
@@FerventReminder this is NOT about a defense. The procrastination can be a real bummer (it can affect their life if they ever marry, have children, more than different standards for cleaning). A woman CAN put up with a slob. But only SHE can know if she can overlook that or if it bugs her so much that it is a deal breaker.
Even if he works 80 hours and she only 10. HE can decide if that is a deal breaker and she can STILL have essential demands that he does not meet. In which case it is also unfair towards him. If she cannot let go of her demands which may or may not be legitimate in the eyes of others, they will never be really happy and he will feel that he is not enough.
She did not complain that he is not in a rush to marry.
She meant procrastination in other areas of life. (A wife can clean after her man. If that is his major flaw and everything else is O.K. many women would feel they "got a good deal". In which case it is better to graciously overlook that, compensate for him and enjoy what is good.
The point is: it must be good for HER, and his flaws must be tolerable for her. Now she is "in between". It bugs her enough to call the show, but she did not discuss it with him and he may never change.
Now what ??
If she cannot estimate his qualities because she gets hung up over his flaws she does both of them a disservice. It does not look like HE will tackle the issue, so she got the advice to get active.
This is such an extreme case, I'm wondering if there's some details being left out or embellished because he's not there to defend himself... Why are you telling an adult to "clean his room"? Either it's both people's room, or it's not your place. And the things she mentioned didn't sound too extreme. He didn't... pick up towels when you demanded it? This is at best a *both* people problem.
Dave Ramsey is becoming Jerry Springer?!
She's in a relationship with a profoundly passive man who is provoking her passively by not engaging in the union, and not participating in the relationship. He has to decide whether he wants to be a responsible adult, and a part of the union or not, and she has to decide whether this is a man she's willing to be with or not, and if so start shifting responsibility to him and setting some boundaries with consequences. And that's not going to happen without seeing a counselor. Ideally, you, him, and couple therapy, too.
She has never set a boundary with him
She's so invested in this relationship to make the hard decision to leave.
I think a lot of people call their roommates/fiance out of guilt/shame thinking it's more socially acceptable than just saying they're shacking up. Especially for more than a year of being "engaged".
Things you 'TELL' him to do? Exactly what authority do you have over another adult?
Yeah, that didn't sound good... but if his room is messy, he should clean it up.