Your big sis in Christ | seeking validation from guys 😔💔

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  • čas přidán 27. 06. 2024
  • Hi Fam 🤍
    Today I'm sitting down being really honest and open about my journey when it comes to seeking validation from guys. It's not easy to talk about, but I never had a big sister or mom who told me these things, so I really pray that I can be that to you 🤍
    Seeing God as a perfect father - Louie Giglio
    www.amazon.co.uk/Seeing-God-P...
    Socials:
    TikTok: / deborahbx_
    Instagram: / deborahbx_
    Email: deborahbijk@gmail.com
    chapters
    00:00 - Intro
    01:05 - The definition of Validation
    02:10 - Growing up without a father
    04:18 - Seeking validation from guys
    07:08 - A turning point
    11:30 - Healing
    14:56 - It's not worth it
    17:45 - You are Enough!!

Komentáře • 518

  • @echarles6204
    @echarles6204 Před 11 měsíci +363

    Interestingly enough, though many men in Christ don’t admit it, we experience this same sense of inadequacy and same desire to be desired by women that God never confirmed for us…..thank you for this video Deborah! 🙏

    • @mrzsonqbird
      @mrzsonqbird Před 11 měsíci +19

      Very insightful thanks for sharing

    • @TheFIame
      @TheFIame Před 11 měsíci +8

      100 percent true

    • @howarddodge772
      @howarddodge772 Před 11 měsíci

      Your telling me about god like seriously

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +63

      Thank you for sharing this! It's hard when things like this don't get talked about enough. Even though it's such a tough journey to walk, it gives comfort to know that we're not alone. God has everything we need 🤗 Your validation is found in him. You're a son of the most high king!! It really doesn't get much better than that 🤍

    • @howarddodge772
      @howarddodge772 Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@deborahbx_ what s up

  • @adrianops7
    @adrianops7 Před 11 měsíci +94

    Seeking validation, regardless of the source, from guys, girls, bosses, parents...if not from God, will always lead us to a dark hole, and it will never be enough. We are very much loved and wanted, and thats from the greatest of them all. Jesus Christ, and he has those scars on his hands as one of the thousands of ways he's shown us the immensity of that love. Nothing beat that.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +3

      Amen!!! 🤗 Nothing comes close to living life the way it was intended to live: with our maker!! He truly loves us beyond measure

    • @rambothomas2209
      @rambothomas2209 Před 3 měsíci

      @@deborahbx_ Matthew-18:19-20🙏🏿🍓👍🏽💌

  • @misslulu8110
    @misslulu8110 Před 11 měsíci +214

    For someone who grew up with a father and never felt Seen, Loved , Respected , I understand searching for validation in men . I will never seek anything from anyone , But my Father Jesus Christ . God has truly changed my Desires , It’s my responsibility to protect his temple . 👏🏼❤️I always wanted a sister Glad I found your Channel it’s really speaking to my heart ❤️ 🥺😫 Thank you sis

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +17

      Amen !! 🤍 God has everything we need and he is who makes us whole. He loves us more than we will ever know. It's definitely a journey, and it's a painful one to walk through. But It's so beautiful that God is showing us that we're not alone in this. God is our Heavenly Father, we are his beloved daughter. Nothing will ever come close to that 😭🤍

    • @misslulu8110
      @misslulu8110 Před 11 měsíci +3

      @@deborahbx_ Yes sister Praise God 👏🏼

    • @JodyJody
      @JodyJody Před 11 měsíci +7

      I really love that part where you said "it's my responsibility to protect my temple." This is something that I really had to learn the hard way and I really wished I had learned it soon but better late than never. I learned it through a process with God, it was never easy but He has taken me a long way and I'm grateful.

    • @misslulu8110
      @misslulu8110 Před 11 měsíci +2

      @@JodyJody Yes definitely girl we feel the conviction of are sins . God bless you in Jesus name sister ❤️

    • @rambothomas2209
      @rambothomas2209 Před 5 měsíci

      ⁠@@deborahbx_and amen 🙏🏿✝️🌴💐

  • @najmehheydari5660
    @najmehheydari5660 Před 11 měsíci +27

    Those men don't even deserve you Deborah... You are smart, beautiful, talented and the most important; you have God in your heart. Thank you my sister.

    • @Christ_Is_Faithful
      @Christ_Is_Faithful Před 3 měsíci

      Don’t demonise the men. We’re all broken and in need of Christ. You can encourage a sister without putting down the men.

  • @DyanaMariie
    @DyanaMariie Před 11 měsíci +24

    This was my experience as well. Seeking validation, yearning for a relationship yet only being used and confused as to why it never worked. Still, I feel I’m being “ hidden” but God definitely knows if I get in a relationship I will stray from Him in this season. Thank you for sharing your story❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Amen! God Loves you so much! He doesn't want to lose you. Spend your single season on getting closer to God. That's what I'm doing as well 🤗 This season truly is a blessing. One day when we get a spouse we will never have this much free time again!! Don't forget that haha. At the right time, God will send you the perfect hubby, Isaiah 60:22 x

  • @analea6531
    @analea6531 Před 11 měsíci +149

    Sis, your testimonies always hit home. I’m 28, never had a boyfriend, last time I kissed was probably in high school. But I was so insecure and ashamed that I created this persona for my friends who is supposed to be a hottie, having sex and I even started drinking and smoking to fit in. It was so bad that I wouldn’t go anywhere including family gathering without makeup to seek validation and appear as a baddie. Ever since I had a mental breakdown and God helped me out of that state I decided to be my own self and honor the lord. I created a new Instagram where I only share positive quotes, I stopped going on random dates just to have a story to tell and not have to justify why I’m single. I’m not ashamed of being a 28 yo virgin or look a certain way without makeup because God doesn’t look on our appearance he looks on our heart. Your are such a blessing to me and I am grateful God blesses us through you❤

    • @lilyyowsah
      @lilyyowsah Před 11 měsíci +2

      ❤️

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +16

      wauw sis thank you for sharing a part of your testimony 🤍It's so sad how we feel pressure from people around us to be a certain way. This has definitely affected my journey too. But usually in our lowest moments we are able to humbly before God to ask for his help. We can't overcome these things in our own strength. I'm so proud of you and excited to hear that you've started a new instagram too! God is doing a new thing within you. He's only just gotten started! Isaiah 43:19 🤗 I pray that you will continue to see yourself the way God sees you, valuable beyond measure, and so so loved!! Love you sis :)

    • @sindisessions
      @sindisessions Před 11 měsíci +1

      ​@@lilyyowsah How gorgeous are you ❤

    • @sindisessions
      @sindisessions Před 11 měsíci

      @analea6531 We are here, me too ❤ sis is relatable

    • @CappieBG
      @CappieBG Před 9 měsíci +2

      I was in the same boat as you till exactly 29, im 32 old now. Got the girl I dreamed of and didn't even think exists and given up at one point. Long story short she was a counterfeit ( a narcisist ), not only that she was a party girl of the world and introduced me to the New Age crap. Angel Numbers, Manifestation, Tarot readings I really questioned my faith at one point as this stuff seemed to work ( but it's demonic ). So what's the difference between you and me. I got lured by a counterfeit sent by the devil and my last word to her were I wish I never met her and it's true. Not only was she sent on a mission to destroy me as a man and waste 3 years of my life which I am still recovering from, but most importantly I realise she was trying to lure me out of religion and question my faith, because she was constantly spamming how the Bible is teaching me that actually ,, I am God '' and how to manifest my desires.

  • @jackyneves9522
    @jackyneves9522 Před 7 měsíci +7

    I come back to this video everytime I need a reminder to not sell myself short for a man but instead rest in Gods love and trusting in his timing 🙏🏾
    Thank you so much for this amazing video 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

  • @Daughter.of.Yahweh.
    @Daughter.of.Yahweh. Před 8 měsíci +5

    This is so relatable. “If he gave me what I wanted I would’ve never went back to God”

  • @alexaanai169
    @alexaanai169 Před 11 měsíci +22

    ive been celibate for almost 3 months now (which is a lot to me, compared to my past) its been so hard & ive been literally fighting the spirit of lust & sexual temptation. i feel so seen with this video. God led me here to confirm what he told me.

    • @deepikaravi637
      @deepikaravi637 Před 10 měsíci +3

      Praise God sister! Keep fighting the good fight of faith 🙌❤️

    • @Christelletv
      @Christelletv Před 8 měsíci +1

      Yesss keep going sissy! I'm in for 5 🙏🏾☺️

    • @Magical_Maya
      @Magical_Maya Před měsícem +1

      Girl you’re worth more than RUBIES! Keep going!!

  • @crysrsmith
    @crysrsmith Před 11 měsíci +52

    Hi Deborah, I’m 41 & still single. I cried because that what I been through in my past with the wrong guys. I know God is in control of everything. Thank you so much for sharing and I needed that. May God continue to bless you and many more! ❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +10

      Amen!! It's not easy sis, but know that God has someone so special set aside for you. Not all can walk a journey of singleness, it truly is a gift. 1 Corinthians 7:7. Don't let the enemy convince you otherwise. Take this time to go even deeper with our Heavenly Father 🤗 You never know when you'll have to start sharing Jesus with someone else haha. You're so so loved, and never alone :) xx

    • @Reneeh13
      @Reneeh13 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Same sis..Same age and everything.

    • @0iamesmeralda0
      @0iamesmeralda0 Před 5 měsíci

      He will give you more than you asked for my love be patient and don’t stop praying 🫶🏻❤️

    • @0iamesmeralda0
      @0iamesmeralda0 Před 5 měsíci

      @@Reneeh13 He will give you more than you asked for my love be patient and don’t stop praying 🫶🏻❤️

  • @zechariah4663
    @zechariah4663 Před 11 měsíci +42

    In OUR WEAKNESS HIS STRENGTH is made perfect.
    Your transparency is healing thousands...
    I am sending this to my daughter.
    Thank you my sister...
    Dr. Tara
    United States

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +3

      Amen!! 🤍 Our God is so good! May God speak to your daughter through what he's allowed me to share. I'm just a vessel of him reaching out to his beloved daughters 🤗 Thank you sis!

  • @karimehendrix
    @karimehendrix Před 11 měsíci +22

    I was on the same boat, I didn’t listen and now I’m in a marriage i don’t want to fight for. I don’t regret it because I was blessed with two amazing baby boys, but it is hard to get through a relationship that was not ordained by God. I hope and pray every young person in here truly takes this advice to heart! ❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +8

      Oh sis I'm so sorry to hear that 😞🤍. God sees you, he knows your heart. Like you said: you have been blessed through this and I pray that you will continue to be blessed. God can turn things around, night and day. I will be praying for your partner. That God's hand will rest upon him, and upon you also. He loved you too much for this to be it for the rest of your life. In Jesus name I pray healing, restoration and transformation!! Amen

    • @karimehendrix
      @karimehendrix Před 11 měsíci +2

      @@deborahbx_ amén. thank you sis! 🤍

  • @noems7810
    @noems7810 Před 11 měsíci +46

    Thank you for your powerful testimony. I have a son and daughter about your age, my daughter had a similar path before, and I prayed years for her that the Lord will straighten her path. She is now happily married and had two sons and another on the way. Our God is a good Father, and I truly believe that God is preparing the man of God rightfully for you, and will bless you with God fearing children. HE will reward your obedience and will bless you more abundantly, you will be like a tree planted along riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Your leaves never wither, and you prosper in all you do. -Psalm 1:3. Stay bold, strong and courageous woman of God! HE is with your wherever you go. God bless you!!

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +5

      Thank you so much for your beautiful message and your encouraging words🤍 Amen! It's so beautiful to hear how God lifted your daughter out of that life into everything that he's had for her! He is so so good, he uses everything for good. Thank you for sharing this verse with me also. I receive it in the name of Jesus. May our Heavenly Father continue to bless you and place his loving hand on your head. What an amazing momma you are fighting for your children at all times 🥰

    • @noems7810
      @noems7810 Před 10 měsíci

      ❤❤❤

  • @sindisessions
    @sindisessions Před 11 měsíci +17

    I found a spiritual father from church, he treats me like a daughter and gold! ❤ I'm grateful to God for him because no man can ever devalue me... he's the reason I'm able to even have a channel and talk about God, encourages everything I do 😭

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +3

      ahh that's so amazing to hear!! He is a small reflection of what God is like as our father 🤍🥹. You are so so loved and special girl! xx

  • @xtrasprinklespls
    @xtrasprinklespls Před 11 měsíci +45

    Thank you so much for this video!! I’m 23 and never had a boyfriend, and it would always make me feel weird starting from age 18..so I constantly found myself seeking validation and acceptance from guys..but as a result I couldn’t really learn to embrace being single and learn who I am through Christ. One of my main goals now.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +6

      I'm praying for you sis!! There truly is nothing better than being content in singleness and just going deeper with God. It's a journey with ups and downs for sure, but focus your eyes on him 🤗. The world is so loud advertising other things, but God has everything you need. I pray that you will experience the waterfall of his love more than ever! You are his beloved daughter, he's called you to singleness right now for a reason. Don't let it go to waste, we're in this together!!🤍

  • @waneaallen7595
    @waneaallen7595 Před 11 měsíci +36

    This is so timely. Im in my early 20s and am experiencing the beginning of my first romantic relationship. Even though this guy cares for me and I for him, God is rearranging things to hide me in this season so that I can make Him my first love before anyone else comes into the picture. Im still on this journey but thank you for your wisdom and please pray that your sister learns to want Him above everyone and everything else 🙏🏾💓💒.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      I will be praying for you sis 🤍 That God may be the centre of your relationship at all times. Draw near to him, keep your eyes on him, and he will be with you both. You sound like a very smart young lady so keep pursuing God 🤗 He loves you both so so much, and wants you to walk in everything that he has for you!!

    • @waneaallen7595
      @waneaallen7595 Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@deborahbx_ Thank you for this encouragement! God bless sis🤗💞

  • @everythingNen
    @everythingNen Před 11 měsíci +20

    I’m literally going through this right now. God always speaks to me through social media and CZcams. God directed me to you. I just finished crying asking God for help, I know there’s a life better than this. He directed me to you😢 thank you for sharing ❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +4

      Amen sis 😔🤍 it’s not easy to go through things like this, but I’m praying for you. That you will get a revelation of God’s love like never before. Nothing comes close to our Heavenly Father. Everything else is second best 🤷🏽‍♀️. You’re his beloved daughter, you deserve only the best! Walk in that 🤍

    • @sindisessions
      @sindisessions Před 11 měsíci

      ❤❤❤

  • @1novabella
    @1novabella Před 11 měsíci +20

    Exactly what I needed to hear this morning! Thanks for sharing your story. I’m on a path to freeing myself from guys’ validation also. I’m enough in God’s eyes and there’s absolute freedom in that ❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      I’ll be praying for you sis! In Jesus name you’re also freed from the desire to get approval from guys! The creator of the universe approves of you!!! It really doesn’t get much better then that 🥹🤍

  • @user-or5fv5py8f
    @user-or5fv5py8f Před 11 měsíci +17

    I can relate 2 your story😊.....I have been there but Jesus❤ found me n m happy being single in Christ.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Amen!! He is so so good 🥰 We are not alone in this, he just wants us to rest in his loving arms. The place where we won't lack a single thing

  • @munalulalifanu155
    @munalulalifanu155 Před 11 měsíci +39

    Wow!!! Deborah you are amazing!!! I see the Lords validation all over you!! I thank God for you because you are touching lives with the Gospel..!! The youth especially. We love you!! God bless

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +5

      Amen!! 😭🤍 Thank you so much for your kind words. To God be all the glory!! I'm truly just a vessel. Love you too, thank you for being here with me 🥰

  • @godplustwoandyou111
    @godplustwoandyou111 Před 11 měsíci +12

    That’s the book He led me to one day when I was fantasizing about marriage and He showed me that HE IS MY HUSBAND firstly that I need to receive that revelation first 🌸🤯just wow

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Yesss Amen!!! How beautiful is that! Everything we need is right here already. God doesn't withhold a good thing from us. We just have to accept the gifts he so graciously pours out over us 🤍

  • @suzanuwera
    @suzanuwera Před 11 měsíci +16

    Thanks darling for sharing with us ❤️ love you so much from East Africa, Uganda 🇺🇬 keep the fire of God burning dear 🙏🌹 God bless you so much 🥰

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      Thank you sis 🥹🤍 to God be all the glory! Thank you for being here

  • @tamarabello
    @tamarabello Před 11 měsíci +5

    I struggled with this but recently realised it was distorting how I viewed myself and what I am capable of doing. I am now on a journey of self-discovery and building my relationship with Christ.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci

      Amen!! Sis you deserve so so so much better. I am praying for you. That you might also get that deep revelation of God's love for you. it really changes everything. You'll start to see yourself the way God sees you! How valuable you are, how precious, how chosen! Because that's the truth about you. You are the daughter of the king of the universe 🤗 Walk in it!

  • @ChosenByHisGrace
    @ChosenByHisGrace Před 11 měsíci +4

    Its when we're broken that God is able to heal us and build us up to the person He intended for us to be. We never need validation from anyone, whether its a guy or a friend. We have already been validated through the Blood of Jesus!!

  • @nooby165
    @nooby165 Před 11 měsíci +7

    As a guy I can relate a lot to the struggle you talk about, and finding validation in girls that I should've found in God. What you ended with about their not being a point really struck my heart, so hearing you say that you dared to pray about being hidden and finding peace in God through it really blessed me. I pray we all come to that that point guy or girl of surrendering to God and letting his love restore and sustain us into who He has made us to be

  • @magdacavuquila3263
    @magdacavuquila3263 Před 11 měsíci +3

    I'm tearing up in the office, the way I relate, going through this right now, needed this

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci

      You’re not alone!! 🥺🤍 Our God is so good. He loves you so so much. You only deserve the best of the best and that’s found with our Heavenly Father!

  • @hnurtanic
    @hnurtanic Před 10 měsíci +9

    I am muslim but your thoughts were really inspirational thank you sis❤

  • @mwashi401
    @mwashi401 Před 11 měsíci +35

    Omg!! Deborah, this was sooo needed! A lot of women seek validation from men and it’s beginning to be wayyy too much. With social media, women are forgetting to embrace Gods love FIRST before any man! I realized this last year when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I was more miserable than anything because I was seeking man’s approval rather than Gods!!! His love is pure and it’s all I need in my life!!! 😊 I trust God completely 😊

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +5

      Yess sis so true! It’s very heartbreaking to watch how the enemy is targeting women collectively making us feel like we need the validation. We become dependent on it. But God lifts us out of it!! In him we are whole, loved, called, enough and so much more 🥹🤍

    • @mwashi401
      @mwashi401 Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@deborahbx_Absolutely!!!! 😊😊

  • @Thia.e
    @Thia.e Před 11 měsíci +10

    Hey Deborah.
    I can tell that this was not easy for you share because sharing means reliving the memories. So thank you for sharing with us, and I am sorry you had to go through all of that.
    In my case, I wont call it seeking validation per say, but I have been in a friendship group where I was really hurt over and over again and I know how hard it was to let go, so I understand.
    I pray that as you continue to walk through this journey with God, that He’ll bring you to a beautiful rest. One of which will include a man that will love, adore and respect you.
    Amen❤️

  • @deborahantiri7093
    @deborahantiri7093 Před 11 měsíci +13

    Thank you for being honest and sharing this.
    I‘ve searched for love in my family instead of God. It’s draining begging for love from the wrong places.
    God is Love so therefore I have to align myself with God and seek him daily.
    God bless you, Deborah🙏🏾

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Amen sis 🤍 I know how hard it is, and draining like you mentioned. God calls us to just rest in his presence and love. We won't have to earn it, or work for it like with these earthly things. Jesus died so that we are already right and deserving of God's love 😭. I pray over your life that you may experience his perfect love for you every single day. You're his beloved daughter, crowned with splendor Isaiah 62:3. Walk in it! It really doesn't get any better than that :). Thank you for being here with me sis ( my namesake 🤗)

  • @sunnni_
    @sunnni_ Před 11 měsíci +3

    Whew this is a word! I grew up w/ a father in and out my life and watching all my friend's have dad's or boyfriend's love them, I became a bit jealous. I didn't understand why I could feel like I was good enough and now I am unlearning those toxic & trauma that I went through. I no longer want forced love, but genuine love that God sends to me. But now that I am 26, I am learning to understand that all the love and such that I crave, God is the first one who has done it and I am genuinely blessed to see it like this. Love this channel ❤

  • @siphumeleledube3167
    @siphumeleledube3167 Před 11 měsíci +7

    The timing of this video is crazy and it just proves that God speaks to your specific need through people. I am currently going through a heart break and I am feeling like when am I going to be enough for someone? I have been sitting in my disappointment and hurt for a weeks now but this is so timely and I could not agree with you more. Thank you so much for this message and I pray God continues to heal you and use you to help heal others! God bless you Deborah

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci

      Amen sis 🤍 I am so sorry to hear that you're currently experiencing this heartbreak. It's never easy, but take comfort in the fact that our Heavenly Father is right there with you. It's often in our broken seasons where we get to experience him more intensely than ever! I pray that you will experience his loving arms around you, that his comfort will be surrounding you like a blanket. You're so so special to him and you are more than enough! You're the beloved daughter of the creator of everything we know! It really doesn't get much better than that 🤗🤍

  • @niquaemyers
    @niquaemyers Před 11 měsíci +9

    And we overcome by the Blood of the lamb and with the word of our testimony. Thanks for sharing ❤❤ powerful!

  • @Vivienneliv
    @Vivienneliv Před 11 měsíci +8

    I’m 32 and have a had so many failed relationships. I didn’t understand who God was, his ways or the Bible until last year and I’m finally surrendering to God. I’m tired of doing this on my own. It’s been painful and I wish all my wounds could be healed over night but I’m learning to just take it day by day. I pray for a kingdom husband and marriage as well. I pray God fills all my needs and voids during this season and forever 🙏🏼❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Amen 🤍. I will be praying for you as well! May our Heavenly Father reveal himself to you like never before. When we try to do these things in our own strength we never get very far, so I pray that he Holy Spirit will guide and carry you through this. In your weakness he is strong! You are so loved and he has a divine plan for your life. At the right time he will provide your kingdom spouse. Amen ❤️ Isaiah 60:22

    • @Vivienneliv
      @Vivienneliv Před 11 měsíci

      @@deborahbx_ thank you 🙏🏼💕

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Před 10 měsíci

      You want to dismantle soul ties from sex. God will bring you great fulfillment. He is able. I struggle, on occasion with strong sex drive. I'm abstinent and you can't pray the desire away. I just don't act on it. No sex. Any thoughts?

    • @Vivienneliv
      @Vivienneliv Před 10 měsíci

      @@danilaroche1156 Thank you, I have been celibate for a year now. I don't act on it either.

  • @thabrichanel
    @thabrichanel Před 11 měsíci +22

    Thank you Deborah!🥰 I’m reading this book called “Captivating” by Stasi & John Eldredge and it’s all abt how God wants to be the one to fill us w the love we’ve been looking for and heal all the wounds that came from our failed attempts from looking… this video came right on time💗 I rlly suggest the book too!

    • @thabrichanel
      @thabrichanel Před 11 měsíci +5

      Wow, I also jus read the Hosea scripture in the book last night! This is confirmation that He rlly is after my heart🥰🥹

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Hi sis!! 🤍 Oh yes, I have the book!! I read it ages ago, but will pick it up to read through it again. Thank you so much for the reminder. God really is actively pursuing you every single day! He loves you so so much, and wants all of you 🤗. His love is something you don't have to earn, work for, or strive to get. It's already yours. Just go and stand under the waterfall of his perfect love that's already pouring out for you sis 🥰

    • @thabrichanel
      @thabrichanel Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@deborahbx_ thank you so much, God bless you sister🥰🙏🏾

  • @elisaaaaa7502
    @elisaaaaa7502 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Such an honest person. God bless you. I'm glad I found your channel

  • @user-nk5no9wc2w
    @user-nk5no9wc2w Před 11 měsíci +10

    Thank you so much for saying that. It really is important that people start talking about this more. God bless you❤❤❤

  • @dreamchaser7603
    @dreamchaser7603 Před 11 měsíci +8

    You have such a pure heart ❤
    I bless you to meet true love 💗

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Thank you so much 😭🤍 to God be all the glory !! How loved we are by our Heavenly Father!

  • @Kat_Apiata
    @Kat_Apiata Před 11 měsíci +5

    This same journey happened to me! I didn't know the Lord at all, until one day I was at my breaking point and I prayed. He came into my home and gave me an unexplainable peace and I've seeked him ever since ❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci

      Ahh wauw what an amazing testimony! In our weakness he is strong. When we finally surrender everything, knowing that we can’t get out in our own strength: that’s when he lifts us out. May you be constantly reminded of his perfect love for you 🥹🤍 You’re his deeply loved daughter!

  • @hellothere8347
    @hellothere8347 Před 7 měsíci +1

    The way I can relate to this video….. I’m in the process of falling and getting up I give myself grace because God gives grace but I can’t keep doing this to God & myself. That feeling is so terrible & I’m the same I lost myself with my ex boyfriend and I’ll go months without seeing or talking to him then I’ll give in 💔 but this video just confirms that I’m never going to be enough for my ex. He’s the only guy that I would get like that for but I’m done I’m over it and I just want to walk closer to God! Thank you for this video! 🩷

  • @lovefromlerato
    @lovefromlerato Před 6 měsíci +2

    This is the only thing I could find on exactly what I’m going through, there’s not even one article on this on google. So thank you for responding in obedience to God. This has blessed me and comforted in such a great way. Grace and peace to you, Deborah😭 Glory to God for you.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Oh praise the Lord sis! You’re not alone in this, it really is a struggle. But you’re loved beyond measure and everything you’re looking for is found in your Heavenly Father 🤍

  • @selestineshiro3918
    @selestineshiro3918 Před 11 měsíci +6

    Hey gal. I can relate to this conversation. I also spent a lot of time seeking validation from guys until God shifted my mindset. Thank you for the inspiration. Blessings and much love from Kenya

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      Hi sis 🤍 it’s so tough to have gone through things like this, but how amazing is our Heavenly Father that he pulled us right back to him !?! 🥹🙌🏽 we’re so loved as his precious daughters

  • @Newlifeog40
    @Newlifeog40 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I really thought I was going mad crazy about how validation seeking hurts people❤

  • @amoswealth4real
    @amoswealth4real Před 11 měsíci +6

    This is an inspirational message for those who are seeking validation from this temporary world. Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. We should always look to our creator, not the creation because in Christ is our validation, sometimes our spouse can not give us that validation and that is why many marriages end up in divorce and relationships are been broken. ❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      Yes Amen! Matthew 6:33, seek first the kingdom at all times, also when finding a spouse. Our God is so so good and he loves us beyond measure

  • @yolandamcclendon9627
    @yolandamcclendon9627 Před 11 měsíci +3

    Big Sis!! After seeing this video and reading Hosea…I just couldn’t get this off my mind! I must have read the chapter 3 or 4 times in various versions of the Bible! I was so blessed that I was awaken at 4:30 am and i had to journal ! As I looked in my journal I looked at the page where I was writing a letter to my future husband but I didn’t finish. I actually couldn’t get past the first line! There is where I continued my journaling and wrote a letter to my LORD! Saying just as you restored Israel back to you after her whorish ways in Hosea, restore me back! I am no longer interested in chasing after lovers. I too am done partying! I am a wife and I submit to you JESUS! Then I wrote on describing my new perspective and serving God as my Husbandman by consulting and respecting Him, and speaking with Him and spending time in His presence! So “Thank you” for this video I am glad you were obedient to GOD! Praying for you!!!

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Amen!! Wauw thank you so much for sharing that. In our weakness he is strong! Without calling on him for help we will truly never escape the patterns the enemy chains us to. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 🤍 His grace for us is sufficient. It's a process of falling and getting up, but by God's Grace we will become the women we were always called to be. May we as his beloved daughters never forget how loved we are so that we will never lower our standards ever again! Amen

  • @theonegrateful-leper
    @theonegrateful-leper Před 11 měsíci +4

    This is so good Deborah .
    Am in my early thirties,been single for 6 years and recently found myself wanting attention from guys.
    So I recently stepped away from social media to get my "act" together.
    Thank you so much

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      God sees you and he's with you! He knows the desires of your heart. The single season can be so hard, but don't let it go to waste. Draw near to our Heavenly Father and just experience his perfect love for you. That's what I'm praying over your life. That you might know how perfectly loved you are. At the right time God will provide you with the best husband!! He only wants the best of the best for you as his beloved daughter 🤍

  • @amosngalimani1974
    @amosngalimani1974 Před 11 měsíci +7

    The compassion of Christ fills my heart as I am listening to you, sister Deborah. The fundamental reason for this thirst for validation from guys is the foundational issues associated with the absence of fathers. It is a deep-seated inner conflict as we all seek fathers. Truly, some of us have been given obvious names, perhaps because God knew that we would need to be reminded of our callings and destines even through our names and saving us from the world of sin. I am deeply humbled by this moment of your transparency in sharing your "then experiences" sister Deborah. We are not our behaviors nor our mistakes but rather the finished progressive work of the Father perfected in Christ Jesus. God has more of you in Him. Thank God for His salvation and mercy as He is giving you a voice to them that are held hostage to announce to them "Live" Thank you woman of God. God bless you my sister❤

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +2

      Amen! Thank you so much for your words of wisdom as always! 😭🤍 What a good father we serve that he works EVERYTHING together for good. Nothing goes to waste. What the enemy planned for our downfall, will become our victory. We are victorious in christ. We are not our past, Jesus has paid the price for that. We now get to walk away from the sin that so easily entangles us, and run the race that God has marked out for us! Hebrews 12:1-3 🤗

  • @spiritfuelled
    @spiritfuelled Před 10 měsíci +3

    this video tore me down and brought me to tears. it was the video I needed for the longest and I am so glad God lead me to this channel for I finally understand why I have been facing the problems that I have been facing with my relationship and desire to be desired by men. God is so good and His light is really shining through you. thank you for uploading this video. i know it must have taken a lot of courage to upload it. all glory to God, may he continue to bless you and may your ministry continue to thrive

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 10 měsíci

      You are not alone sis 🤍 It's definitely a tough journey to walk, but when our eyes get opened to why we face the heartbreak we do, it all makes sense! God is protecting you always! That is always his agenda, you are so special and so loved. And I pray that he will pour out his presence over your life like never before. That you may know how perfectly loved you are by our Heavenly Father. Then you'll know that no other 'love' or validation will ever come close 🥰

  • @ashcxxx
    @ashcxxx Před 11 měsíci +5

    Wow! Girl this is so timely. I believe your video was sent from God straight to meee😂. No because I'm 17 and I struggle with male validation and due to having an absent alcoholic father and a toxic narcissistic mother ( which plays in to the daddy issues) I feel like I have daddy issues too. I literally have been praying to God about this because whenever I feel unloved due to my father not being around or whenever i would argue with my mum and she would insult me like crazy, it's like I would run to boys as a bandage to heal me but they just used me for my body and left, sometimes took advantage. I have done this so many times and God taught me that not only will it affect me but sometimes them because as a result of my actions i noticed occasionally i would become toxic or use boys for my own gain. Kind of like come here im sad let me release my pain on you and then leave. However, I'm so grateful that we serve a God who is ready to restore us even tho we make the wrong choices. What your doing is really helping young girls like me. God bless you girl and thanks for sharing your story❤️❤️❤️

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +4

      Hi sis 🤍 Thank you so much for sharing part of your testimony! I can relate to your comment so much! My mom also never provided the support I needed on top of my dad being absent. It just makes you feel like you're all on your own and have to fend for yourself. And what you said about becoming the toxic one as well, girllll I've been there! But God has soooo much more for us. I pray the awareness of God's perfect love over your life! That you might know without a shadow of a doubt how loved, valuable, precious, chosen, enough and so much more you are! In our weakness he is strong. This is a journey we can't walk on our own. His grace for us is sufficient, even when we fall and get up a 1000 times he will always be there to dust us off and keep walking. You are so special sis 🤗 don't ever settle for less. xx Deb

  • @lilyyowsah
    @lilyyowsah Před 11 měsíci +6

    Hi Debbie❤ this made me so emotional. I can relate a lot with certain aspects. I lost my mum as a baby and I was left with my father as a parent. He was present but he did not protect me. It just felt like he was absent when I’d be hurting and going through pain. I’m 26 toooo and navigating relationships can be tough because of the trauma. But I’m glad you’re sharing. We are all here healing and learning together. I have learnt that every time I think to chase a guy I should rather chase God… read the Word or listen to worship songs and it helps my focus remain on God. Thank you Debbie. Thank you for sharing the truth. Love you all❤ let’s keep learning

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      Amen!! Thank you for sharing a part of your testimony sis 🤍 I’m sorry to hear that you lost your mom so early on, and didn’t get the support from your dad that you needed 😔. But you sound like such a beautiful and strong woman! Look at who you are becoming. We have to constantly remind ourselves that God is indeed with us. He will never leave you. He’s closer than ever: and you are his daughter. He made you! He formed you in your mothers womb. Jeremiah 1:5 ❤️ May our Heavenly Father continue to heal you and shine his face upon you!

    • @lilyyowsah
      @lilyyowsah Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@deborahbx_ Amen and Thank you❤️

  • @kathradabeverly669
    @kathradabeverly669 Před 11 měsíci +2

    You're my favorite big sis-I love you!!!Where have you been all my life??

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci

      Haha I’m here now 🤗🤍 we’re on this journey together. I’m so grateful to have you here :)

  • @iheart_.phiwee
    @iheart_.phiwee Před měsícem +1

    Here’s a virtual hug 🥹🫂
    Love you too sis❤️!!

  • @alexandrapellecer
    @alexandrapellecer Před 11 měsíci +1

    Wow! Thank you for saying all of it! I needed to hear this

  • @loliya6606
    @loliya6606 Před 11 měsíci

    This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story. I needed this. 💕🙏🏾

  • @Callingmyphone
    @Callingmyphone Před 11 měsíci +2

    Wow🙏🏽🫶🏽 thank you , I needed this !!

  • @alexandrajoseph9430
    @alexandrajoseph9430 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Amen !!
    Sis Deborah , I wholeheartedly Concur !!

  • @pamabboud
    @pamabboud Před 9 měsíci

    Thank you for this video! Really needed to hear that❤

  • @ayomipobalogun1009
    @ayomipobalogun1009 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you so much Deborah🤍God Bless you sister!!

  • @morewithchi
    @morewithchi Před 10 měsíci +1

    thank you for sharing this sis!! this was so so timely! God bless you🥹

  • @ayobamiolaleye416
    @ayobamiolaleye416 Před 11 měsíci

    I love you Deborah. Thank you for sharing this!

  • @skylarrobinson_
    @skylarrobinson_ Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you so much for sharing, sister in Christ. This video is so real. God bless you ❤️

  • @bytiffanynicole1044
    @bytiffanynicole1044 Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you for being vulnerable Sis! You have a beautiful heart!!!!💕💕💕💕

  • @chelleaina5579
    @chelleaina5579 Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you for being vulnerable & honest with us❤️‍🔥🤍🤍

  • @adjoaassan4720
    @adjoaassan4720 Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you so much Deborah for being open with this important topic and giving us all encouragement 🤎! May God continue to bless you and raise you up as you inspire others to be all they are called to be ✨.

  • @shaybutter3403
    @shaybutter3403 Před 11 měsíci

    You made this so simple! I will be sharing this with so many ppl... I haven't been able to articulate it like this! Thank you.!

  • @ki6475
    @ki6475 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story ❤️

  • @Jlovejloveee
    @Jlovejloveee Před 11 měsíci

    Praise Jesus. Thank you for posting this Deborah Love you girl!

  • @hiyori2846
    @hiyori2846 Před 11 měsíci +4

    Wowwww!!! This video is so so timely! God is so good! I’ve been in a season of healing and God has given me reoccurring dreams of me seeking validation from men. I told Him last night that I’m open to healing now and that I’m tired of seeking validation. I’m so obsessed with romance but God is showing me that I’m truly looking for romance in Him but I’m looking for it in all the wrong places.

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      Ahh I know the feeling! I romanticise a lot!! God told me off for doing that, we’re just setting ourselves up for failure 😔. God truly is our portion, he wants us to come to him to provide everything we’re looking for. Seeking validation outside of God is just a losing game. I’ll be praying for you 🤗🤍 we’re in this together! And our heaven father loves us so so much. He is love in overflow!

  • @taylorgood1821
    @taylorgood1821 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Oh my goodness!! What a wonderful message!!💕💕💕 May the Lord bless you!!

  • @luizadossantos1064
    @luizadossantos1064 Před 10 měsíci

    Sis, this is soooo powerful!! I stumbled on it in God's perfect timing! Thank you so much and may God continue to bless you and give you strength to endure!!

  • @victoriasteward1186
    @victoriasteward1186 Před 7 měsíci +1

    We are NOT enough, that’s why we absolutely need Jesus Christ!

  • @mysteriousgirl6181
    @mysteriousgirl6181 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I found you today and this video helped me a lot! Keep going!

  • @torrentspears5164
    @torrentspears5164 Před 10 měsíci

    This has been a blessing to me❤️

  • @kerinesuccessful7501
    @kerinesuccessful7501 Před 11 měsíci +2

    I relate to this as someone who has been through so much heartbreak because I didn’t let God choose for me. It’s better to just wait for ur kingdom spouse heartbreak are not nice too much trauma to heal from

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci

      it's so tough sis.. The enemy is constantly attacking us and daughters of christ. I pray God's presence over your life. That you might know in full how valuable and loved you are. Running to him is the only way. He loves us beyond measure 🤍

  • @miss_ysmanzana
    @miss_ysmanzana Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you so much for this, it came exactly at the right time as if you knew what I’m battling with and it’s not nice😫, a very known traumatic experience that you know how it will end but you do it anyway😢. . I truly found a sister in Christ in you and you’ve gained yourself a follower❤

  • @jordynharris6311
    @jordynharris6311 Před 2 měsíci

    Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share and encourage us with this!!!

  • @CANISHARE
    @CANISHARE Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you for being so transparent and sharing the gospel. To God be the glory.

  • @TenaciousB20
    @TenaciousB20 Před 8 měsíci

    Thank you sis for being transparent! My story is similar and I have saved this video as one my favorites that I need to revist. God bless you on your journey !!

  • @igboyaalale6145
    @igboyaalale6145 Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you, dear Deborah! I have just "randomly" discovered your channel and I have been positively touched by your message! Thank you, for using your energy, to bring people back to G od! Stay blessed!

  • @KhaliaStewart-yc5mn
    @KhaliaStewart-yc5mn Před 3 měsíci

    this was so healing. thank you.

  • @courtneynoelle1761
    @courtneynoelle1761 Před 9 měsíci

    this has blessed me so much. praise God for your ministry.

  • @nikkic2710
    @nikkic2710 Před 11 měsíci

    Thank You For Your TRANSPARENCY ❤❤❤🙏🏾🙏🏾⚘️BLESSINGS TO YOU SIS

  • @azashmuz7282
    @azashmuz7282 Před 11 měsíci

    Thank you so much for this . Very helpful and motivating. Thank you so much big sis in Christ 🥹.

  • @27stewartc
    @27stewartc Před 11 měsíci +1

    Thank you for being obedient and sharing sis! Sending love & hugs, may God continue to heal your heart & those dealing with similar situations. I pray what you’ve been diligently waiting for will be waaaayyyy more than you could ever think or imagined!! ❤

  • @hilke5550
    @hilke5550 Před 10 měsíci

    Thankyou for sharing ur story, i’m in tears🥺, Bless u🤍

  • @Reneeh13
    @Reneeh13 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you for your transparency. This was amazing and encouraging.

  • @iamartoriah
    @iamartoriah Před 11 měsíci +1

    I grew up with the same values and placed a lot on my purity. I didn't date until about 25 but having not known anything, I mistook flesh for love. I got married and had a beautiful baby but the man was not the one (or he was for a time) then, he left and disappeared. Do not feel shame, it reminds me of the Samaritan woman he spoke to, he revealed himself to her despite her having known so many men, he loved her and showed who he was even to her. That in itself tells me that I am accepted in Christ and waiting was not wrong, making my mistake was already forgiven and as he always says... You latter will be greater than the former ❤❤❤ you're a beautiful soul, forgive yourself and forgive the past mistakes

  • @adelevandie
    @adelevandie Před 11 měsíci +2

    Jireh, You're enough! Having an experience in a negative route doesn't mean you're not God's child or you must be underestimated. Our Father is all open 👐 arms and wow see the great and thrilling side of it, you've been able to get into His arms and your burden and yokes have been cut off. Thanks for being candid and confident to share your testimony of how God is now validating your life and not guys anymore and he'll always be there for you. Yeah, this testimony will surely transform someone. May God always strengthen you and shepherd your life forever, in Jesus' name, Amen.
    Yeah, after salvation, we're bought by Jesus Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit. Much ❤️ love, Sis.

  • @clintonibe
    @clintonibe Před 11 měsíci

    Stay strong Deborah. I seriously respect and completely understand you. Your video is really touching❤
    Remain blessed. God is with you. Always

  • @arianarobinson6633
    @arianarobinson6633 Před 11 měsíci

    so good my love! ❤️

  • @renee1167
    @renee1167 Před 10 měsíci

    Hi Deborah, you’re so real for this! thank you for doing the Lord’s work with these videos. This one really spoke to me especially the part about the peace that comes with ceasing to chase after guys and worrying about their opinion of us, and redirecting that energy into deepening our relationship with God. the heartbreak and loneliness has been so tough for me and I’ve cried so many times in this season, but it’s so comforting to know I’m not alone in this. Thank you and may God bless you abundantly

  • @basicinfo2022
    @basicinfo2022 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Validation comes from within. You are not a parking ticket that needs external validation. Your worth and value is determined by you. ACT LIKE THE PRIZE!

  • @naschalyruizmelendez4729
    @naschalyruizmelendez4729 Před 10 měsíci

    You’re such a precious human being. God bless you. 🥹💕

  • @isahtheprince
    @isahtheprince Před 11 měsíci

    This is brave of you to share! well done. Keep doing God's work!

  • @coilsfros6404
    @coilsfros6404 Před 11 měsíci

    I resonated with this! Thank you so much, Sister in Christ! The Lord is truly speaking through you and I pray He continues to bless you and others with His word, presence, love, peace and forgiveness!

  • @Tiffanylee329
    @Tiffanylee329 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I needed this 🥺🥹

  • @TheToxicgee
    @TheToxicgee Před 11 měsíci

    Just here to say I'm thankful for your sharing and while one might not always comment, I am always watching and liking.
    Stay Blessed

  • @melenies.5096
    @melenies.5096 Před 10 měsíci

    This video was such a blessing to watch it freed me from wanting validation and actually made me realize why I shouldn’t want it from ppl but only from God thank you sis❤ love and support from Philadelphia, PA

  • @TheDallydall15
    @TheDallydall15 Před 11 měsíci +3

    Amen I needed to hear this today ! The enemy has been tempting me to feel that I should go back to when I used to enjoy validation from men, but I do feel I’m getting stronger in spirit because a distaste does occur when we fall more into who God says we are. I also think it’s important to remember how God is our redeemer we should accept how much we’ve done wrong but just stayed focused on how he will redeem and we are FREE 🙏🏽🙌🏽. Forgiving ourselves is a major step in the healing process. God bless you ❤️

    • @deborahbx_
      @deborahbx_  Před 11 měsíci +1

      Amennn!! You’re so right. We condemn ourselves so much, when God doesn’t! His grace for us is sufficient. There’s nothing we can or will do that will ever make him love us more or less. I found freedom through that. That even when I do fall back into sin (because we’re all sinners) instead of beating myself up, to just reach for Gods hand and keep on walking. His perfect love casts out all fear and sin! Eventually we’ll see ourselves more and more like God sees us. We’ll know that we’re special, worth so much, enough, chosen, loved!! I pray that God will continue to pour his perfect love and presence out over your life. So that you’ll never return back to your old ways! Men won’t give you what you’re looking for sis, it’s a dead end. Remind yourself of that. What you need and deserve if found in Christ alone 🥹🤍🥰

  • @winnieee6249
    @winnieee6249 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you much for this video sister, it’s some i wish i found sooner. Amen