It's always a huge red flag when your significant other doesn't listen, or believe what you say and want's to literally know everything and still blames you for stuff when they do stupid shit.
@@saint037absolute Horror, but in the End nobody forces someone to marry a Person like that. If someone have decided that for himself or herself he/she should know what he/she have gotten himself/herself into, ultimately it is his/hers own Fault if they are married to a bad Partner. It's up to him/her to get out of this Mess, or they're doomed to suffer forever. Peace of Mind is more important than being with someone who is not good for the one good.
She absolutely destroyed his trust so don't try to paint it as something heroic. Being with someone NC for 10 years doesn't happen for small petty things. Even if you don't know the details you can bet that some sort of abuse is included. So why the hell would you force your SO to face their abuser during their own wedding????????
I'll be honest I'm not surprised at all that the wedding went like that. The fiancee was nice enough to show her true colors (the controlling issues) before the wedding and op just ignored them, instead of addressing them. Of course this happened.
@@samuraitadpole5459he did already explain that it became a lot worse with the wedding planning, which implies she wasn't as hard before and she was bearable/not as bad about it up until their engagement Even tho I don't know either of em (assuming the story is true), if I had to take a guess at their relationship it might've been the only negative aspect OP had with her if he was still willing to happily marry her, as he did seem to love her up until the wedding itself, although another thing I find questionable that wasn't mentioned previously is that she blamed OP for not telling her sooner when he owns no explanation, which could be possible OP didn't know about her manipulative side before the wedding as she primarily only displayed controlling behaviors before if i had to guess
@@xegin1572this. He wasn’t comfortable enough to tell the woman he was marrying why he didn’t even want talk to his twin let alone invite her to one of the most important moments of his life. It just shows she never cared for him and wanted what she wanted regardless of anything.
Ah yes. Weddings. The best time to reconcile with family and bring up past trauma for shock value. Blindsiding and going against your bride/husband's wishes and pleas. P.S. it's really sad that the sister was made to suffer through that as well. But seriously, don't trust the words of a middleman - if someone wants to reconnect they would contact you directly.
I read another story on Reddit about an OP whose brother's fiance tried this same stunt, but with their abusive mother. Things went downhill for the ex and the mother was still an insane narcissist.
Uhum. Maybe it wasn't conveyed correctly, but it seems fiance begged to convince the parents how much OP wants to reconcile with, forgive the twin and have her at the wedding, but also please don't speak anything about her with him, he wants this informed consent invitation to be a complete surprise
To be fair, I know the sister is awful, but it was eminently sensitive of her to know she was beyond forgiveness already and not actually bother OP again.
Also the fact that she's trying to blame OP for her own choices and actions shows that she's not really sorry for what she did but just for the consequences Edit: spelling
im not excusing the fiance's behavior but i cant feel to bad for OP either, if you dont know if you can tell your partner whom you want to marry something... youre probably not ready to get married yet figuring out if you can tell someone anytthing and everything doesnt come AFTER the marriage, it comes BEFORE
Honestly I know trauma hurts but I feel like she should have at least told her partner why she didn't talk to her sister. I'm sorry but if you ever had trauma ever and you're in a relationship you should definitely tell the partner something before you get married. In my opinion that's just something you would bring up if you really into somebody like that.
@@vhaelen326I don't see how anyone can have the guts to yk, tell the story about how his life subscription nearly ended due to the sister jealousy. That's something no one can just spill it out like that, of course he needs to mendle his issues but that doesn't make it less than the victim
@@Walhoryea but I’m sure putting someone, brother or not, she’d of gotten arrested, if I was op for me it would be either I press charges or she don’t speak, look, or try to contact me because it’d be her funeral
@@s-kayultra2702 Identical twins, they are both ladies. You can't be an identical twin without being the same gender as them, you'd still be called fraternal twins, even if you looked pretty much the same. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense, but that's how it is. This is coming from a guy who had a twin sister also, and yeah, the wording thing doesn't make much sense to me either, but what are we gonna do?
@mgntstr Rude. Sounds like she really got the help she needed. Let's not assume everyone that commits a violent assault is a total psychopath with a taste for blood. Before you come at me yes she was absolutely in the wrong and should never have done that all I'm saying is people can change, especially if it's been 10 years and what OPs parents said are true about her going to anger management and cleaning up her act.
Now the fiance is the one who has a lesson to learn about trying to be a better person. Of course she may continue to be the type to blame others and keep deflecting.
The fact even the twin knew that what fiancée was doing was shit is just crazy man even the EVIL TWIN felt bad for ruining the wedding by the looks of it the fiancée is worse then the twin.
Kinda seems like the twin really got the help they need which honestly the parents should've done something like what they did sooner rather than be like Flanders parents.
The twin isnt at fault for the wedding. Honestly she was also just as much a victim as op at that point. She was obviously remorseful and simply wanted a chance to reconcile or get some closure at the very least and was told OP wanted it too. The real monster is the ex fiancee
you literally said that if you keep bringing her up there marriage is off...and she went waaaay beyond that. shes clearly a massive control freak who has no respect for your opinion or privacy.
Honestly, OP should've ignored his parents' wishes and pressed charges against that psycho. She could've KILLED him, and yet the parents begged him to NOT press charges?!Parents were enablers, alright.
Yes, enabler of a chance for them to stabilize their mental states (It's a rather lucky one)...they probably just want to have the two kids to not be Tasmanian Devil kids who never get along from birth to death (Tasmanian Devil kids are always at odds, so much that mama had to leave them) IDK what's on the parents' mind...so i'll avoid assuming
I don't think OP and his sister brought out the worst in each other, I think OPs sister was mentally unstable from the beginning and it was easier to blame the both of them than to try and acknowledge that something was wrong with one of their kids.
@@MathildaFlow Right?! You would think the hospital would have at least made a report about a minor kid (don't know if OP was of age or not) getting hit on the head with a shovel.
If he'd pressed charges his parents would've spent a ton of money on lawyers to defend her against the charges instead of on tuition for an Ivy League school. Enablers 100% but he made the right decision when you take into account the entire situation.
Call the fiances parents. Tell them they either come get her stuff without her or youll be putting it in storage under their names so the fees will go to them. Your head will spin at how fast they get there.
Alternately, call them and ask them if they are coming to get it in the next 3 days or if he should just trash it. Nothing open ended that might leave an opportunity to drag it out. And definitely they need to provide notice so he won’t see her. Casually mention security cameras so that she doesn’t rage destroy things, and that someone else will also be there when they pick up, just in case, as the ex is completely untrustworthy
I wonder what would his life had been if the marriage actually happened? How much of his money would she spend, without listening to how much debt they're in? How much of OP's stuff would she throw away even if it was a family heirloom?
Being controlling and dismissing others needs doesn't necessarily mean bad with money. She could keep a strict budget and be going through OP's wallet and looking at his receipts to make sure he doesn't make any unauthorized purchases.
@@ivorynk752 What it often leads to is a house devoid of any of the spouse's items or personal affects, no vases, no portraits, nothing that has not been pre-vetted by the control freak. Then the spouse wakes up one morning, looks around, and ends up feeling like a stranger in their own home. Because they are, nothing in this house is theirs, it all belongs to their spouse. Not one item belongs to them, as an individual. But plenty belong to the spouse.
@@WabbitHunter68this is why people need to draw hard lines instead of doing like op and hoping the fiance change😮💨 hopefully he learns because next time he might not get lucky
The fiancé is dangerous and abusive just as the twin was. Abusers can sense this when they select their marks and then move in for the kill. OP was 100% right to cancel the marriage. In no way is OP at fault for not wanting to be retraumatized by recounting the whole story. The fiancé is dangerous.
Wait, so the Fiance got the parents to let her talk to the sister by saying OP wanted to reconcile but then said to keep it a surprise? That doesn't really make sense, are the parents stupid? Also it's big of OP to maybe forgive her one day but also admit that he did bad things to her too.
I mean she probably said that op wanted it but the timing for reconciliation is not clear, so her inviting the twin to the wedding is her surprise gift to him.
I can't believe that when she contacted OPs parent's about the sister,they never asked her if OP had told her the full story. I blame the parents just as much. They were there. They knew that they had to keep those 2 separated. They knew that they couldn't even mention the sister to OP. They should have asked him before handing out sisters contact info. Sorry doesn't cover this kind of betrayal.
"are the parents stupid?" The same parents who knew each kid's dream school and knew how extremely competitive they were and yet decided to throw that surprise party? Yes, yes they are.
@@Athasin yeah and the twin sister deeply regrets what she done to OP perhaps if their parent had actually parent them maybe they could have the close sibling bond and grown up close but no the parents were dumba**es.
The parents should be ashamed. Those kids needed family therapy, instead were left to "do their own thing". And to not allow him to press charges is unfathomable. She was going to kill him with that shovel had family not intervened. If she got held accountable for the assault, it could have been the intervention needed for her to get help and for the sibling relationship to heal. Such a shame.
OP's fiancee is definitely TA. My current boyfriend hasn't spoken to his father for 10 years, I don't know the details despite the prying, his own family has stopped trying to make them reconcile so I know if I was to do some shit like this I'd probably lose him
Sad this is not healthy for op nor your boyfriend (not saying he should forgive anyone) But not talk about it. He needs therapy. Like ops was so quick to end things just for mentioning his sister. I completely understand why he is like that but communication is everything in a relationship. You are not just a random person to your partner specifically in the fiancés case you are going to be immediate family his wife. Keeping that from your partner is a big secret. Your sister attempted to kill you. But he says it as if they stop talking over a disagreement (which in most cases is why family stops talking). Op is not in the wrong for his feelings he is not wrong for the betrayal. But he needs therapy because the way he’s going no relationship at least healthy will work out for him. Yea you don’t need to tell anyone about your pass but your wife is not anyone. Op has trust issues and communication issues and I hope he gets passed it.
@@skipp692 She's not his wife yet (nor ever will), he had boundaries and she straight up disrespected. I do agree with minor context where you are coming from but you don't help your SO blindsiding, gaslighting and manipulating everyone around you. You nudge people into the path of healing, not punch them with a brick.
@@skipp692for me, no amount of therapy would ever make me stupid enough to reconnect or speak with my bio dad. So disrespectfully, go to hell. It IS healthy to go NC with toxic people. It's UNHEALTHY to force relationships for your sanctimonious ego.
@@Weezarvil Minor context? heh. everyone needs therapy of some kind. Some way way less then others. OP is right for what he did, but he does need therapy. He needs to kill that cancer inside of him and that doesn't mean he needs to reconcile, but he needs to get rid of that negativity in his brain for the sake of him and only him. Thats also a fact. The fact that the sister changed and tried to reconcile after the sister spent 7 years changing herself, proving Shes a different person and the fact that he hasn't let it go shows that too.
@@Weezarvil I don't know I think it's unfair that his friends knew (they're not married to him) but she didn't, the women he supposedly loved and was going to spend the rest of his life with. If no one but the parents and the sister knew sure I'd understand, but more people knew. It worked out in this instance as what she did after when requested to drop it was horrible, a breach of boundaries, lying, gaslighting etc... but I just don't get why he feels he shouldn't have to tell her this information, it's like he doesn't trust her with it even though she was going to be his wife.
Now, imagine inviting a r(a)pist to a victim wedding, saying "well, it's past now". Same vibe, but I bet not a single person? who think that what this woman did was okay, would agree to that.
OP never realized that the other twin was the golden child. The family never cut contact with the sister and begged OP to not press charges after nearly killing OP. They still kept in contact and just made sure never to mention her in front of him. As for the relationship, it sank a long time ago, but OP just ignored all the red flags until it all blew up.
@@_cup_of_tea She'll hear about it, freak out, and scream "I told you so!" (while looking about as unhinged as sister probably was 10 years ago), then demand OP get back with her because she did this "wonderful thing" for him. 🤦♀
@@greenapetranslord4870 Listen, This is between 2 siblings who know each other better than us.... We only know about 10-20 minutes of summary. If they think they can do it , then so be it.
The bîtch hit him over the back of the head with a shovel and stepped on his hand to break it after wauting with said shovel in the dark for him and his parents had the absolute Fing audacity to convince him not to press charges!!!! This guy has enemies on all sides!
Who thought it was a good idea to list out all the colleges they got into, knowing one was still crushed to not get into their first pick and the other did? Feels like something a caring parent WOULDN'T do.
"You should've told me so that I'd have reason to show you a basic level of respect" is the absolute most diseased take. He dodged the whole goddamn firing squad on that one.
I think the parents knew what they were doing. They present themselves as the victims, but admit they know their children are rivals and put grenade on the cake. Then they allow sister to be invited without checking for a moment. They sound like drama llamas
Those parents begging for OP to not press charges on her sister for attempt of murder is crazy 💀 screw that whole family. Also screw that partner. If you been NC for 10 years, you don't need to know all the details
It's amazing how many people are siding with OP's ex fiance. Put it this way, it's like inviting the person who SA you to your wedding... something so traumatic as that, would you want that person there? Would you be able to talk about it? OP's fiancee showed ZERO respect for him ever since he proposed. OP even said he didnt want to tzlk about it, and she still refused to LISTEN. He went NC for over 10 years. A decade of no contact is pretty serious.
Not really I have family who go NC for disagreements over the stupidest things. The thing is instead of getting angry in the beginning when the sister was first mentioned he should have communicated with his fiance the woman he is committing too and going to have a family with, that’s not just a random person or friend that’s literally going to be your life long partner. Op needs therapy because this battle he’s had with himself for a decade should start healing. Yes ex fiance wrong horrible for disrespecting her fiance. But she didn’t know. Your example is also weird because was the assaulted a family member like a sibling grandparents or a parent like ops. Because not wanting a random guess like an uncle/aunt/cousin/friend is more easier to write off and not think about since they aren’t immediate family. But either way you need to properly communicate with your partner. Keep secrets leads to misunderstanding. And it’s obvious he’s never trust her from the beginning I hope he reaches out to a therapist to get through his trauma. Because no relationship in the future will work for him if he keeps holding that pent up anger Me and husband actually communicate he knows who I no longer communicate with and why. Because I trust him. And he tells me who he has gone nc with because we communicate.
@@skipp692I do think communication is very important. But here the ex-fiance has lied to him, his parents, and his twin sister to get what she want, this is huge red flag. It's probably not the first and it won't be the last time she lied to get what she want.
@@mygamechannel2300 I think you are misinterpreting Skipp, Skipp is referencing the time BEFORE all of that. If he had communicated why he's NC with her at their initial conversation and she continued to do it then MASSIVE red flag. But she had no idea why he was NC with his sister. Would I invite someone who is NC with the person? Hell no, there must be a reason. Would I feel a little untrusted if my soon to be husband doesn't feel like he can tell me why? Yes I would. Her reactions AFTER that conversation are not what we are discussing here, we ALL agree she is wrong for doing that and OP is lucky to get out of there. It's just lucky he wasn't communicating as well as he should've with her.
Even if Op had a petty argument with his sister, he had every right to not want her to his wedding. Especially considering that his fiancee never even met the sister
Maybe the OP should have explained why he was no contact with the sister but even if he did I bet the fiance would still have invited her due to her insane controlling nature
No, there is this little thing, very important in relationships called BOUNDARIES. She lied, manipulated, gaslighted everyone. She fucked around and found out. The only saving grace is that at least the sister does seem to want to reconcile and him as well. But that should not happen the way it did.
Saying the wedding would be off if the fiance brought the issue one more time should have been enough. I agree that she would have made another reason to bring the sister to the wedding. Maybe "it has been ten years, it's time you two reconcile!"
@@Weezarvil I absolutely agree, I'm just playing devil's advocate. Like even if he did explain I still don't believe she would've let it go. Like psychomachado said below, she would've changed to it's been a decade it's time to reconcile argument. She was obviously into the whole I want this day to be my way or the highway. I'm glad the op put his foot down finally
There's these things called taking the hint and being warned that the fiance was disregarding, and now she has egg on her face. The man warned you before and threatened to call off the wedding if his sister was brought there.
The Fiancé is all red flags. She’s disregarding, blaming, gaslighting, and trying to shirk responsibility. She’s not listening to what OP says, and blaming OP for her own bad choices. I think the fact that her true colours showed when she got engaged proves how abusive she is. Since a lot of the time abusers won’t show their true awful personality until they think their SO is stuck with them and won’t leave. She thought that once she was engaged, OP couldn’t leave. The fact that she wanted to have the conversation AFTER they were married further proves that she was hoping to trap OP so that he couldn’t leave her. Guarantee that if OP agreed to talk after they were married, she’d have told him he can’t break up with her cuz they’re married now. Good thing she showed how undeniably awful she is right before they were married.
I feel sorry for everyone but the bride, the parents and guests for having to witness a disaster like that, and the sister for feeling guilty about the thing that the bride is guilty for, and OP for being OP in a story like this one.
Seriously? The parents did NOTHING about the violent attempted murder on their own child and worse, demanded that op not press charges. They let the psycho roam free. They didn't do anything before the attack either. They deserve to live with the lunatic.
@@paulagoeringer9466 They put her in anger management, and also made sure to check up on her and make sure she was fine. Also, no one from his family even tried to force them to reconcile in the state both would be in. Even after she finally helped herself, they still didn't.
I can't understand how you would hate the person that has been by your side since even before day 1... One thing, you don't need a "valid" reason to not one someone at your wedding. If you don't want them, that's it
„It’s been 10 years and I’ve moved on with my life since“ (the attack) Nope, big mistake! When you noticed that the attack with the shovel had lasting effects (clump in your head), you should have pressed charges. Someone getting away with assault just teaches them they are free to do so in the future as well.
My gut told me to leave the wedding with the sister to show that i'm now mad at my ex fiance and not my sister.... Funny how that would have turned out
It's unreal how much his fiancee lied to people. Hell, her lying even made me feel sorry for his sister who is aware of what she did and her boundaries.
the result of pressing charges would have been mostly the same -- keeping them apart, and a lot of mandated therapy. Parents were up to the task of controlling the sister in this case. Of course we only know that for sure in hindsight.
Its extremely funny and ironic that she got them to do what she wanted in the end anyway. Like this isnt in any way, shape, or form a case of no good dead goes unpunished. She was to selfish and self absorbed to actually find a proper way to reconcile 2 estranged hurt people. This could have been the sweetest gift that only a wife could have gave to someone and she just to stupid. I baffled also out of breath😂
God idk who needs to hear this, or why people ignore this, but when someone’s NC for ten years, nine times outta ten, it wasn’t over petty bull, it was serious fallout If anyone should decide when to reconcile it’s the people who were there for it
How could you not mention to your fiancé that your sister hit you in the head with a shovel and broke your wrist? I’m sure she was controlling but OP definitely lacks communication skills.
How much she worked for this to happen, and how dismissively she tried to brush it away and shift the blame on OP is bad in itself. (should she also be explained excruciantly gory consequences of things starting with running with scissors or sticking forks into sockets, with both body horror and and effects it will have on family also?) But my focus keeps shifting on how fiancee wore a mask of cheerfulness in the face of his distress and tried to rush through the ceremony, refusing to 'talk' before OP is legally bound to her, in a slight of hand way
It is actually good this happened before the marriage occurred because this goes way beyond the incident with the sister. Fiancée does not really hear or listen to anything OP wants or feels. She only wants her own way. Her answer to anything not being to her liking is not to consider the other's point of view and find a solution that works for both, but rather to start manipulating. Guys, if your "previously wonderful" fiancee turns into a bridezilla after engagement, step back and have a good long think about this person. And ladies, too, as this can happen the other way around, too.
Fiance was the means for your reconciliation with your sis, but 100% your fiance stays out. She'll never respect you and never listen to you. As for your sis, bro its amazing feeling to reconcile and forgive especially if she comes out sincere.
What a psychopath.... "i dont care you dont want your twin there. You need to get over it and make up.!" Like wtf did she think would happen.? He even told her if she brought up the sister again he'd call off the wedding. I bet money she thought she'd get away with it because it was the day of the wedding and she assumed he'd have no choice but to marry her still. She doesnt even know what happened for him to go NC. I frigging HATE when people go behind their SO's - and victims - back to try to force reconciliation. Like you dont get to decide if or when that person forgives someone. She was selfish and entitled. Guy dodged a nuke. Also did the parents REALLY think that OP would want to reconcile at his WEDDING of ALL places.? Like come on. Have some sense.
I don’t know if ANYTHING you could have done to her would have warranted attempted MURDER because that’s what she did. Frankly, sure it’s good she’s getting better but I don’t think I could EVER forgive anyone for something like that. Plus, she should have been sent to prison for her attempted murder of you.
OP really didn't need to spell out "My sister hit me over the head with a shovel and accused me of stealing her dream". The fiancee should've just accepted the "I've had NC with my sister for 10 years".
Random thought: Let's say OP and his sister does reconcile. Their relationship mends and years later OP finds the love of his life sparking another wedding. His sister is like his best woman and the ex fiance finds out. She'll want to take credit for bringing them back together and wants another shot (because she was right all along). I feel like it would go this way for some reason.
If I'm marrying someone, I'd probably tell them if I have any real problems from my past. OP did kind of mess that one up, but fiancée is a control freak. Glad sister got the help she needed and OP for losing his worse half, as well as maybe gaining his sister back. I just have this weird feeling all of this could've been avoided if OP put his foot down during the planning stage of the wedding.
He did tell her when asked, though. He told her that they hadn't had contact in 10 years. I don't buy the argument that she was entitled to know exactly why. You don't go no contact with a close relative without reason, and especially if you then never mention them or bring them up in conversation with your spouse, it should be quite easy to see that there is a really traumatic experience hidden behind that. You can't get mad at her for asking why maybe once or twice, but you need to consider whether your curiosity is worth opening a decade-old wound, the severity of which you have no idea about. And he did put his foot down. He said explicitly that if she was invited, the wedding was off. It's hard to put the foot down any harder than that without straight-up separating.
@@philipmrkeberg7985- Right? People are constantly bashing op and saying he is also a red flag because he "didn't tell his fiance". Like... He told enough. He literally told that if she SAW HER THERE, wedding is off. NC for 10 years and that? It says a lot by itself. And if he doesn't want to talk about it ever, it says it WAY more. But apparently, he has to open this 10 year wound that he has moved on from because... Because his fiance wants to know? Unless it is absolutely necessary for her to know, this shouldn't be an obligation and he should be respected.
My one thing is if you knew for a fact u weren’t going why would you even apply? Like he even said himself he wasn’t going to and that he never wanted to see her, her actions are her fault but he rlly brought this upon himself 😭
I think if my SO pulled something this extreme on me, I’d just straight up tell them that I’m not in love with them anymore to get the breakup through their head
The fiancé definitely deserved to be broke up with, she had no right for what she did, she obviusly doesn't know what it is to have someone try to make your life miserable and then reapear in your life when you can barely deal with the trauma and suffering
while communication is important in a relationship and OP should have told his fiance what happened between him and his sister, there is no justification for what she did, i mean, if your partner tells you to not invite someone to YOUR WEDDING there might be a reason, not only that, you are supposed to feel comfortable in your wedding why would you try to force a reconciliation in a day like that
The fiancé let the mask drop, he should be thankful for that at least. Considering how he should have know her controlling and dismissing attitude was a huge red flag but he mindlessly dismissed it, he needed a wake up call like this to actually see things for what they are. Some people are like that, they need pain to actually learn the lesson, and there is no greater sensei than pain.
I feel the twins' mother does not get enough blame for precipitating the whole assault with the paired cakes listing the college acceptances which the kids had not told her themselves. Both parents should have been aware of their hopes and toxic rivalry and the mother aggravated her daughter's disappointment. Did they enjoy watching them fighting?
"And it was about time that we let go of this silly rivalry," he says as he continues the rivalry by apply to his sister's dream school even though he had no intention of actually going there. Doesn't excuse her attacking him but dude is capping about why he applied to her school.
i never understand women that start to change the moment its about the wedding or are married. My ex(for many reasons) always said everything changes after the wedding, but could never tell me what is changing after a wedding and why everything has to be different from one day to another...
it’s messed up that he withheld information? this woman lacks so much self awareness. lady, take a look at how much hiding and lying you did to everyone to make this happen. don’t you think that maybe implies, just a little, that even you knew it was wrong? like. you wouldn’t have to lie and twist things so much if they weren’t morally wrong! but you still did it because of your hero complex and control issues lmao
My sister and I used to be like that, then she got sick, and sick again, and sick again, after this cycle continued, I realized I couldn’t fight with her anymore, it wouldn’t be fair, her immune system we later figured out is terrible, mine is bad, but hers may lead to an earlier than expected death, now we haven’t fought in over 2 years, not once, I feel a lot happier now that we have stopped fighting.
Honestly. I have to respect out of all of this, OP were the bigger man and realized that their sister was a victim in this too. Yes she absolutely deserved the treatment she got for 10+ years. But to be genuinely better and still completely ignored like that hurt, even if OP had no way of knowing. OP asking about her at the end of the day is 100% the right thing to recognize. Though I find it hard to that she would be so calm even after 10 years after what happened since I can kind of see where her anger came from. I can't imagine her headspace after being so betrayed like that. Shovel to the head wasn't right though.
The reason she thought she could be "the family savior who brought the siblings back together" was because OP let her get away with her controlling behavior all along. Had he put his foot down earlier, they might have broken up and she'd have found another guy to control. She didn't even take him seriously when he told her she had 5 days to pack up and get out. I don't even know why he did that. He should have gone home, pulled out some trash bags, and started putting her stuff in them whether she was home or not. The fact that her car was parked out of sight just shows how calculating and manipulative she is. Even after finding out what had happened, she didn't take him seriously, took zero responsibility for her actions, and blamed OP. Honestly, I can only hope that she exposes who she really is to every guy she dates before one of them gets stuck in a marriage with her.
Sheer irony of this situation looks like the trigger for OP and the sister to reconcile too. YET! i see where the issue is. Is not only the issue of the fiance getting the sister but literally step to every single boundary possible OP has and told her to not doing it. And instead of ask and research at least ... she just lie and manipulate everyone around. Honestly the last thing i would guess to this level of narcissism (YEAH! because it is that), is that she works on social service too. Because this level of not giving a flying f* about the other person's feeling and boundaries with straight sociopath and saviour complex behaviour, sounds more like someone who works on social service.
It's always a huge red flag when your significant other doesn't listen, or believe what you say and want's to literally know everything and still blames you for stuff when they do stupid shit.
That is many many red flags
So many red flags, China is jealous
imagine actually being married to someone like that
@@saint037absolute Horror, but in the End nobody forces someone to marry a Person like that. If someone have decided that for himself or herself he/she should know what he/she have gotten himself/herself into, ultimately it is his/hers own Fault if they are married to a bad Partner. It's up to him/her to get out of this Mess, or they're doomed to suffer forever. Peace of Mind is more important than being with someone who is not good for the one good.
@@Bukurije_The issue is that some people hide their true selves until they are safely married to the person.
Well the fiance sacrificed herself on the path of reconciliation between the siblings.. What a wild ride
😂😂😂😂😂😂 fr
well that and trying to invite someone who is clearly blacklisted to the wedding always lead to break ups.
She absolutely destroyed his trust so don't try to paint it as something heroic. Being with someone NC for 10 years doesn't happen for small petty things. Even if you don't know the details you can bet that some sort of abuse is included. So why the hell would you force your SO to face their abuser during their own wedding????????
pretty sure the commenter was joking here...@@Tris_.
@@paddumaximus I really hope so. This world doesn't need more ableist people that defend control freaks.
I'll be honest I'm not surprised at all that the wedding went like that. The fiancee was nice enough to show her true colors (the controlling issues) before the wedding and op just ignored them, instead of addressing them. Of course this happened.
Exactly, he knew what she was like and just hoped she changed??? The sex must be top notch
Also, the fact he didn't feel ready to talk to her about what happened with his sister in itself speaks volume about the state of their relationship.
@@samuraitadpole5459he did already explain that it became a lot worse with the wedding planning, which implies she wasn't as hard before and she was bearable/not as bad about it up until their engagement
Even tho I don't know either of em (assuming the story is true), if I had to take a guess at their relationship it might've been the only negative aspect OP had with her if he was still willing to happily marry her, as he did seem to love her up until the wedding itself,
although another thing I find questionable that wasn't mentioned previously is that she blamed OP for not telling her sooner when he owns no explanation, which could be possible OP didn't know about her manipulative side before the wedding as she primarily only displayed controlling behaviors before if i had to guess
Exactly. The fact that he cut her off for that long should’ve told her that it was over something very serious.
@@xegin1572this. He wasn’t comfortable enough to tell the woman he was marrying why he didn’t even want talk to his twin let alone invite her to one of the most important moments of his life. It just shows she never cared for him and wanted what she wanted regardless of anything.
Ah yes. Weddings. The best time to reconcile with family and bring up past trauma for shock value. Blindsiding and going against your bride/husband's wishes and pleas.
P.S. it's really sad that the sister was made to suffer through that as well. But seriously, don't trust the words of a middleman - if someone wants to reconnect they would contact you directly.
Right? Funny how they never try reconciliation on a random thursday
I read another story on Reddit about an OP whose brother's fiance tried this same stunt, but with their abusive mother. Things went downhill for the ex and the mother was still an insane narcissist.
Can i have a link? I like listening to these while cleaning and helping to cook @@fanfictiondreamer7836
Uhum. Maybe it wasn't conveyed correctly, but it seems fiance begged to convince the parents how much OP wants to reconcile with, forgive the twin and have her at the wedding, but also please don't speak anything about her with him, he wants this informed consent invitation to be a complete surprise
To be fair, I know the sister is awful, but it was eminently sensitive of her to know she was beyond forgiveness already and not actually bother OP again.
Also the fact that she's trying to blame OP for her own choices and actions shows that she's not really sorry for what she did but just for the consequences
Edit: spelling
Gaslighting
im not excusing the fiance's behavior but i cant feel to bad for OP either, if you dont know if you can tell your partner whom you want to marry something... youre probably not ready to get married yet figuring out if you can tell someone anytthing and everything doesnt come AFTER the marriage, it comes BEFORE
Honestly I know trauma hurts but I feel like she should have at least told her partner why she didn't talk to her sister. I'm sorry but if you ever had trauma ever and you're in a relationship you should definitely tell the partner something before you get married. In my opinion that's just something you would bring up if you really into somebody like that.
@@bravenburris1235 OP is boy. Sorry I know that wasn't the point you were trying to make but I just couldn't stop myself.
@@vhaelen326I don't see how anyone can have the guts to yk, tell the story about how his life subscription nearly ended due to the sister jealousy.
That's something no one can just spill it out like that, of course he needs to mendle his issues but that doesn't make it less than the victim
Op should have pressed charges. She literally tried to kill him.
Alot of women get a free pass both social and court wise. It's messed up. Alot of violent women out there who never seen any consequences of it.
@@Walhoryea but I’m sure putting someone, brother or not, she’d of gotten arrested, if I was op for me it would be either I press charges or she don’t speak, look, or try to contact me because it’d be her funeral
sounds like she had soem mental health issues
@@s-kayultra2702 Identical twins, they are both ladies. You can't be an identical twin without being the same gender as them, you'd still be called fraternal twins, even if you looked pretty much the same. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense, but that's how it is. This is coming from a guy who had a twin sister also, and yeah, the wording thing doesn't make much sense to me either, but what are we gonna do?
@@Walhor these women will do the same things to their own kids.
the irony of his ex beign the cause of he and his sister finally reconsiling is the cherry on top
bet sister has learned from her mistake of not using enough force and when he sets her off next will make sure to get the job done, more clever like.
@mgntstr
Rude. Sounds like she really got the help she needed. Let's not assume everyone that commits a violent assault is a total psychopath with a taste for blood.
Before you come at me yes she was absolutely in the wrong and should never have done that all I'm saying is people can change, especially if it's been 10 years and what OPs parents said are true about her going to anger management and cleaning up her act.
Do you believe people are incapable of change? @@mgntstr
Now the fiance is the one who has a lesson to learn about trying to be a better person. Of course she may continue to be the type to blame others and keep deflecting.
I would not trust the sister. How does he know she would not be hidden in the shadows waiting with a weapon more powerful than a shovel.
Beware the woman who envisions a big perfect wedding for herself with zero compromise, for that is the definition of a bridezilla
"I just hoped this new side of her would go back into hiding once we got married" That's the worst sentence I've ever heard in my life
she must have been REALLY damn pretty
Ikr? What a dumbass.
The fact even the twin knew that what fiancée was doing was shit is just crazy man even the EVIL TWIN felt bad for ruining the wedding by the looks of it the fiancée is worse then the twin.
Kinda seems like the twin really got the help they need which honestly the parents should've done something like what they did sooner rather than be like Flanders parents.
Ye@@fiyahquacker2835
The twin isnt at fault for the wedding. Honestly she was also just as much a victim as op at that point.
She was obviously remorseful and simply wanted a chance to reconcile or get some closure at the very least and was told OP wanted it too.
The real monster is the ex fiancee
I never said the twin was at fault though.@@shojunx
Wow. Imagine not pressing charges against someone who basically tried to murder you. Family or not, you can't let that go unpunished.
you literally said that if you keep bringing her up there marriage is off...and she went waaaay beyond that. shes clearly a massive control freak who has no respect for your opinion or privacy.
Honestly, OP should've ignored his parents' wishes and pressed charges against that psycho.
She could've KILLED him, and yet the parents begged him to NOT press charges?!Parents were enablers, alright.
Yes, enabler of a chance for them to stabilize their mental states (It's a rather lucky one)...they probably just want to have the two kids to not be Tasmanian Devil kids who never get along from birth to death (Tasmanian Devil kids are always at odds, so much that mama had to leave them)
IDK what's on the parents' mind...so i'll avoid assuming
It’s weird that the hospital didn’t call the cops.
I don't think OP and his sister brought out the worst in each other, I think OPs sister was mentally unstable from the beginning and it was easier to blame the both of them than to try and acknowledge that something was wrong with one of their kids.
@@MathildaFlow Right?! You would think the hospital would have at least made a report about a minor kid (don't know if OP was of age or not) getting hit on the head with a shovel.
If he'd pressed charges his parents would've spent a ton of money on lawyers to defend her against the charges instead of on tuition for an Ivy League school. Enablers 100% but he made the right decision when you take into account the entire situation.
He really dodged a bullet with this woman. She even tried to gaslight him
Call the fiances parents. Tell them they either come get her stuff without her or youll be putting it in storage under their names so the fees will go to them. Your head will spin at how fast they get there.
Fantastic idea
Alternately, call them and ask them if they are coming to get it in the next 3 days or if he should just trash it. Nothing open ended that might leave an opportunity to drag it out. And definitely they need to provide notice so he won’t see her. Casually mention security cameras so that she doesn’t rage destroy things, and that someone else will also be there when they pick up, just in case, as the ex is completely untrustworthy
I wonder what would his life had been if the marriage actually happened? How much of his money would she spend, without listening to how much debt they're in? How much of OP's stuff would she throw away even if it was a family heirloom?
Being controlling and dismissing others needs doesn't necessarily mean bad with money. She could keep a strict budget and be going through OP's wallet and looking at his receipts to make sure he doesn't make any unauthorized purchases.
@@ivorynk752 What it often leads to is a house devoid of any of the spouse's items or personal affects, no vases, no portraits, nothing that has not been pre-vetted by the control freak.
Then the spouse wakes up one morning, looks around, and ends up feeling like a stranger in their own home. Because they are, nothing in this house is theirs, it all belongs to their spouse. Not one item belongs to them, as an individual. But plenty belong to the spouse.
red flags all around,OP girlfriend is a mess of a person,never listening to OP side,controling,i think he dodged a cannon ball of a woman
The.big clue was the friend telling him that she had control issues. She was just good at hiding it until she felt she'd got her feet under the table.
@@WabbitHunter68this is why people need to draw hard lines instead of doing like op and hoping the fiance change😮💨 hopefully he learns because next time he might not get lucky
The fiancé is dangerous and abusive just as the twin was. Abusers can sense this when they select their marks and then move in for the kill. OP was 100% right to cancel the marriage. In no way is OP at fault for not wanting to be retraumatized by recounting the whole story. The fiancé is dangerous.
That's a bit of stretch. Fiancee fucked up, but she wasn't waiting outside to smash his head in with a shovel.
Wait, so the Fiance got the parents to let her talk to the sister by saying OP wanted to reconcile but then said to keep it a surprise? That doesn't really make sense, are the parents stupid?
Also it's big of OP to maybe forgive her one day but also admit that he did bad things to her too.
I mean she probably said that op wanted it but the timing for reconciliation is not clear, so her inviting the twin to the wedding is her surprise gift to him.
woman said something they wanted to believe. Yes. People are stupid.
I can't believe that when she contacted OPs parent's about the sister,they never asked her if OP had told her the full story. I blame the parents just as much. They were there. They knew that they had to keep those 2 separated. They knew that they couldn't even mention the sister to OP. They should have asked him before handing out sisters contact info. Sorry doesn't cover this kind of betrayal.
"are the parents stupid?"
The same parents who knew each kid's dream school and knew how extremely competitive they were and yet decided to throw that surprise party? Yes, yes they are.
@@Athasin yeah and the twin sister deeply regrets what she done to OP perhaps if their parent had actually parent them maybe they could have the close sibling bond and grown up close but no the parents were dumba**es.
The parents should be ashamed. Those kids needed family therapy, instead were left to "do their own thing". And to not allow him to press charges is unfathomable. She was going to kill him with that shovel had family not intervened. If she got held accountable for the assault, it could have been the intervention needed for her to get help and for the sibling relationship to heal. Such a shame.
OP's fiancee is definitely TA.
My current boyfriend hasn't spoken to his father for 10 years, I don't know the details despite the prying, his own family has stopped trying to make them reconcile so I know if I was to do some shit like this I'd probably lose him
Sad this is not healthy for op nor your boyfriend (not saying he should forgive anyone)
But not talk about it. He needs therapy. Like ops was so quick to end things just for mentioning his sister. I completely understand why he is like that but communication is everything in a relationship. You are not just a random person to your partner specifically in the fiancés case you are going to be immediate family his wife. Keeping that from your partner is a big secret. Your sister attempted to kill you. But he says it as if they stop talking over a disagreement (which in most cases is why family stops talking). Op is not in the wrong for his feelings he is not wrong for the betrayal. But he needs therapy because the way he’s going no relationship at least healthy will work out for him. Yea you don’t need to tell anyone about your pass but your wife is not anyone. Op has trust issues and communication issues and I hope he gets passed it.
@@skipp692 She's not his wife yet (nor ever will), he had boundaries and she straight up disrespected. I do agree with minor context where you are coming from but you don't help your SO blindsiding, gaslighting and manipulating everyone around you. You nudge people into the path of healing, not punch them with a brick.
@@skipp692for me, no amount of therapy would ever make me stupid enough to reconnect or speak with my bio dad. So disrespectfully, go to hell.
It IS healthy to go NC with toxic people. It's UNHEALTHY to force relationships for your sanctimonious ego.
@@Weezarvil Minor context? heh. everyone needs therapy of some kind. Some way way less then others. OP is right for what he did, but he does need therapy. He needs to kill that cancer inside of him and that doesn't mean he needs to reconcile, but he needs to get rid of that negativity in his brain for the sake of him and only him. Thats also a fact.
The fact that the sister changed and tried to reconcile after the sister spent 7 years changing herself, proving Shes a different person and the fact that he hasn't let it go shows that too.
@@Weezarvil I don't know I think it's unfair that his friends knew (they're not married to him) but she didn't, the women he supposedly loved and was going to spend the rest of his life with. If no one but the parents and the sister knew sure I'd understand, but more people knew.
It worked out in this instance as what she did after when requested to drop it was horrible, a breach of boundaries, lying, gaslighting etc... but I just don't get why he feels he shouldn't have to tell her this information, it's like he doesn't trust her with it even though she was going to be his wife.
Now, imagine inviting a r(a)pist to a victim wedding, saying "well, it's past now". Same vibe, but I bet not a single person? who think that what this woman did was okay, would agree to that.
Oh that's definitely happened somewhere, most likely because the grape mist was a family member like the parents sibling or a cousin of some kind
OP never realized that the other twin was the golden child. The family never cut contact with the sister and begged OP to not press charges after nearly killing OP. They still kept in contact and just made sure never to mention her in front of him. As for the relationship, it sank a long time ago, but OP just ignored all the red flags until it all blew up.
Looks like.... OP's ex did one thing good..... Made a stage for these siblings to finally a chance to reconcile.
Perhaps
At the cost of her relationship 😂
@@_cup_of_tea She'll hear about it, freak out, and scream "I told you so!" (while looking about as unhinged as sister probably was 10 years ago), then demand OP get back with her because she did this "wonderful thing" for him. 🤦♀
Yeah, who wouldnt want to reconcile with a violent sister ?
@@greenapetranslord4870 Listen, This is between 2 siblings who know each other better than us.... We only know about 10-20 minutes of summary. If they think they can do it , then so be it.
The bîtch hit him over the back of the head with a shovel and stepped on his hand to break it after wauting with said shovel in the dark for him and his parents had the absolute Fing audacity to convince him not to press charges!!!!
This guy has enemies on all sides!
Who thought it was a good idea to list out all the colleges they got into, knowing one was still crushed to not get into their first pick and the other did? Feels like something a caring parent WOULDN'T do.
"You should've told me so that I'd have reason to show you a basic level of respect" is the absolute most diseased take. He dodged the whole goddamn firing squad on that one.
I think the parents knew what they were doing. They present themselves as the victims, but admit they know their children are rivals and put grenade on the cake. Then they allow sister to be invited without checking for a moment. They sound like drama llamas
I really think there is zero chance they didn't know the daughter wanted to go to Princeton. Either the story is fake or you're right.
Yeah OP shouldn't have married her in the first place since she was controlling before they got together.
Those parents begging for OP to not press charges on her sister for attempt of murder is crazy 💀 screw that whole family. Also screw that partner. If you been NC for 10 years, you don't need to know all the details
It's amazing how many people are siding with OP's ex fiance.
Put it this way, it's like inviting the person who SA you to your wedding... something so traumatic as that, would you want that person there? Would you be able to talk about it? OP's fiancee showed ZERO respect for him ever since he proposed. OP even said he didnt want to tzlk about it, and she still refused to LISTEN.
He went NC for over 10 years. A decade of no contact is pretty serious.
Not really I have family who go NC for disagreements over the stupidest things. The thing is instead of getting angry in the beginning when the sister was first mentioned he should have communicated with his fiance the woman he is committing too and going to have a family with, that’s not just a random person or friend that’s literally going to be your life long partner. Op needs therapy because this battle he’s had with himself for a decade should start healing. Yes ex fiance wrong horrible for disrespecting her fiance. But she didn’t know. Your example is also weird because was the assaulted a family member like a sibling grandparents or a parent like ops. Because not wanting a random guess like an uncle/aunt/cousin/friend is more easier to write off and not think about since they aren’t immediate family. But either way you need to properly communicate with your partner. Keep secrets leads to misunderstanding. And it’s obvious he’s never trust her from the beginning I hope he reaches out to a therapist to get through his trauma. Because no relationship in the future will work for him if he keeps holding that pent up anger
Me and husband actually communicate he knows who I no longer communicate with and why. Because I trust him. And he tells me who he has gone nc with because we communicate.
@@skipp692I do think communication is very important. But here the ex-fiance has lied to him, his parents, and his twin sister to get what she want, this is huge red flag. It's probably not the first and it won't be the last time she lied to get what she want.
@@mygamechannel2300 I think you are misinterpreting Skipp, Skipp is referencing the time BEFORE all of that. If he had communicated why he's NC with her at their initial conversation and she continued to do it then MASSIVE red flag. But she had no idea why he was NC with his sister. Would I invite someone who is NC with the person? Hell no, there must be a reason. Would I feel a little untrusted if my soon to be husband doesn't feel like he can tell me why? Yes I would.
Her reactions AFTER that conversation are not what we are discussing here, we ALL agree she is wrong for doing that and OP is lucky to get out of there. It's just lucky he wasn't communicating as well as he should've with her.
SA and physical assult are not nthe same thing - stop with the false equivalent
Even if Op had a petty argument with his sister, he had every right to not want her to his wedding. Especially considering that his fiancee never even met the sister
Maybe the OP should have explained why he was no contact with the sister but even if he did I bet the fiance would still have invited her due to her insane controlling nature
Definitely, people like the ex don't listen until you constantly hammer it home, sadly you have to disregard their feelings
No, there is this little thing, very important in relationships called BOUNDARIES. She lied, manipulated, gaslighted everyone. She fucked around and found out.
The only saving grace is that at least the sister does seem to want to reconcile and him as well. But that should not happen the way it did.
Saying the wedding would be off if the fiance brought the issue one more time should have been enough. I agree that she would have made another reason to bring the sister to the wedding. Maybe "it has been ten years, it's time you two reconcile!"
@@Weezarvil I absolutely agree, I'm just playing devil's advocate. Like even if he did explain I still don't believe she would've let it go. Like psychomachado said below, she would've changed to it's been a decade it's time to reconcile argument. She was obviously into the whole I want this day to be my way or the highway. I'm glad the op put his foot down finally
@@Weezarvil there is a thing in relationships called trust - both of them are wrong.
100% should have pressed charges. Parents are enablers
There's these things called taking the hint and being warned that the fiance was disregarding, and now she has egg on her face. The man warned you before and threatened to call off the wedding if his sister was brought there.
The Fiancé is all red flags. She’s disregarding, blaming, gaslighting, and trying to shirk responsibility. She’s not listening to what OP says, and blaming OP for her own bad choices.
I think the fact that her true colours showed when she got engaged proves how abusive she is. Since a lot of the time abusers won’t show their true awful personality until they think their SO is stuck with them and won’t leave. She thought that once she was engaged, OP couldn’t leave. The fact that she wanted to have the conversation AFTER they were married further proves that she was hoping to trap OP so that he couldn’t leave her. Guarantee that if OP agreed to talk after they were married, she’d have told him he can’t break up with her cuz they’re married now. Good thing she showed how undeniably awful she is right before they were married.
I feel sorry for everyone but the bride, the parents and guests for having to witness a disaster like that, and the sister for feeling guilty about the thing that the bride is guilty for, and OP for being OP in a story like this one.
Seriously? The parents did NOTHING about the violent attempted murder on their own child and worse, demanded that op not press charges. They let the psycho roam free. They didn't do anything before the attack either. They deserve to live with the lunatic.
@@paulagoeringer9466 They put her in anger management, and also made sure to check up on her and make sure she was fine. Also, no one from his family even tried to force them to reconcile in the state both would be in. Even after she finally helped herself, they still didn't.
Why do people have false saviour complex?
It's the stroked their ego to make themselves look righteous at the same time.
EGO
It can feel rewarding to help people. Just don't be a complete idiot about it.
Yeah, I hope she finds the possible reconciliation between the two of them worth losing the marriage, lol.
OP recreated sibling dynamic in the fiance
I was thinking the same thing!!!
That evil twin should’ve been arrested
I can't understand how you would hate the person that has been by your side since even before day 1...
One thing, you don't need a "valid" reason to not one someone at your wedding. If you don't want them, that's it
Dude dodged the bullet at the last possible second. Close as it gets 😂
If you didn't want your sister at your wedding because she stole your KitKat in 3rd grade that's still your decision not your ex's.
"SURPRISE! I INVITED YOUR PSYCHO SISTER! HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!"
*You have provoked a War*
„It’s been 10 years and I’ve moved on with my life since“ (the attack)
Nope, big mistake! When you noticed that the attack with the shovel had lasting effects (clump in your head), you should have pressed charges. Someone getting away with assault just teaches them they are free to do so in the future as well.
i like there are more stories being posted that arent about cheating
My gut told me to leave the wedding with the sister to show that i'm now mad at my ex fiance and not my sister.... Funny how that would have turned out
It's unreal how much his fiancee lied to people. Hell, her lying even made me feel sorry for his sister who is aware of what she did and her boundaries.
Literally told you no contact CLEARLY FOR A GOOD REASON
If you dont press charges you condone their behavior. SMH 🤦♂️
the result of pressing charges would have been mostly the same -- keeping them apart, and a lot of mandated therapy. Parents were up to the task of controlling the sister in this case. Of course we only know that for sure in hindsight.
funny enough the part that's left out is he met up with his sister, and they are reconciling.
Its extremely funny and ironic that she got them to do what she wanted in the end anyway. Like this isnt in any way, shape, or form a case of no good dead goes unpunished. She was to selfish and self absorbed to actually find a proper way to reconcile 2 estranged hurt people. This could have been the sweetest gift that only a wife could have gave to someone and she just to stupid. I baffled also out of breath😂
It’s funny how the fiancé did end up sorta repairing the relationship between op and his sister but at the cost of their own relationship
The perfect example of one door closes and another opens!
God idk who needs to hear this, or why people ignore this, but when someone’s NC for ten years, nine times outta ten, it wasn’t over petty bull, it was serious fallout
If anyone should decide when to reconcile it’s the people who were there for it
I can't help but imagine ex is gonna have a whole new meltdown if OP and sis do end up reconciling now that it cost her the wedding
How could you not mention to your fiancé that your sister hit you in the head with a shovel and broke your wrist? I’m sure she was controlling but OP definitely lacks communication skills.
Parents enabled the crazy sister's behavior!!!
Trying to reconcile with someone who tried to kill you is insane. OP needs to stay as far away from her as possible.
i feel like im on crack again with these videos
How much she worked for this to happen, and how dismissively she tried to brush it away and shift the blame on OP is bad in itself. (should she also be explained excruciantly gory consequences of things starting with running with scissors or sticking forks into sockets, with both body horror and and effects it will have on family also?) But my focus keeps shifting on how fiancee wore a mask of cheerfulness in the face of his distress and tried to rush through the ceremony, refusing to 'talk' before OP is legally bound to her, in a slight of hand way
It is actually good this happened before the marriage occurred because this goes way beyond the incident with the sister. Fiancée does not really hear or listen to anything OP wants or feels. She only wants her own way. Her answer to anything not being to her liking is not to consider the other's point of view and find a solution that works for both, but rather to start manipulating.
Guys, if your "previously wonderful" fiancee turns into a bridezilla after engagement, step back and have a good long think about this person. And ladies, too, as this can happen the other way around, too.
Fiance was the means for your reconciliation with your sis, but 100% your fiance stays out. She'll never respect you and never listen to you.
As for your sis, bro its amazing feeling to reconcile and forgive especially if she comes out sincere.
I don't know why i am completely satisfied with the ending....no complains
Pack up her stuff into boxes and change your locks
What a psychopath.... "i dont care you dont want your twin there. You need to get over it and make up.!" Like wtf did she think would happen.? He even told her if she brought up the sister again he'd call off the wedding. I bet money she thought she'd get away with it because it was the day of the wedding and she assumed he'd have no choice but to marry her still. She doesnt even know what happened for him to go NC. I frigging HATE when people go behind their SO's - and victims - back to try to force reconciliation. Like you dont get to decide if or when that person forgives someone. She was selfish and entitled. Guy dodged a nuke.
Also did the parents REALLY think that OP would want to reconcile at his WEDDING of ALL places.? Like come on. Have some sense.
I don’t know if ANYTHING you could have done to her would have warranted attempted MURDER because that’s what she did. Frankly, sure it’s good she’s getting better but I don’t think I could EVER forgive anyone for something like that. Plus, she should have been sent to prison for her attempted murder of you.
OP really didn't need to spell out "My sister hit me over the head with a shovel and accused me of stealing her dream". The fiancee should've just accepted the "I've had NC with my sister for 10 years".
Sounds like he almost married his sister…😂
He gave the sister a major W by ruining the wedding. She must have been basking in it.
Random thought: Let's say OP and his sister does reconcile. Their relationship mends and years later OP finds the love of his life sparking another wedding. His sister is like his best woman and the ex fiance finds out. She'll want to take credit for bringing them back together and wants another shot (because she was right all along). I feel like it would go this way for some reason.
If I'm marrying someone, I'd probably tell them if I have any real problems from my past. OP did kind of mess that one up, but fiancée is a control freak. Glad sister got the help she needed and OP for losing his worse half, as well as maybe gaining his sister back.
I just have this weird feeling all of this could've been avoided if OP put his foot down during the planning stage of the wedding.
He did tell her when asked, though. He told her that they hadn't had contact in 10 years. I don't buy the argument that she was entitled to know exactly why. You don't go no contact with a close relative without reason, and especially if you then never mention them or bring them up in conversation with your spouse, it should be quite easy to see that there is a really traumatic experience hidden behind that. You can't get mad at her for asking why maybe once or twice, but you need to consider whether your curiosity is worth opening a decade-old wound, the severity of which you have no idea about.
And he did put his foot down. He said explicitly that if she was invited, the wedding was off. It's hard to put the foot down any harder than that without straight-up separating.
@@philipmrkeberg7985- Right? People are constantly bashing op and saying he is also a red flag because he "didn't tell his fiance".
Like... He told enough. He literally told that if she SAW HER THERE, wedding is off. NC for 10 years and that? It says a lot by itself. And if he doesn't want to talk about it ever, it says it WAY more.
But apparently, he has to open this 10 year wound that he has moved on from because... Because his fiance wants to know? Unless it is absolutely necessary for her to know, this shouldn't be an obligation and he should be respected.
My hesrt hurts for Op and her sisters after hearing that letter
Op is in the right for walking out hands down.
My one thing is if you knew for a fact u weren’t going why would you even apply? Like he even said himself he wasn’t going to and that he never wanted to see her, her actions are her fault but he rlly brought this upon himself 😭
Even if he HAD told the ex fiancée what had happened between him and his sister, I doubt she would have listened.
"im so sorry you didnt get accepted :((("
*gets hit in the head by a shovel 2 minutes later by the sister OP was comforting*
I think if my SO pulled something this extreme on me, I’d just straight up tell them that I’m not in love with them anymore to get the breakup through their head
The Mum is vile and their behaviour led to this type division.
why did she put Princeton on the cake when she knows the daughter applied there!
to OP’s ex-fiancee :
*PLAY STUPID GAMES; WIN STUPID PRIZES !!!*
The fiancé definitely deserved to be broke up with, she had no right for what she did, she obviusly doesn't know what it is to have someone try to make your life miserable and then reapear in your life when you can barely deal with the trauma and suffering
while communication is important in a relationship and OP should have told his fiance what happened between him and his sister, there is no justification for what she did, i mean, if your partner tells you to not invite someone to YOUR WEDDING there might be a reason, not only that, you are supposed to feel comfortable in your wedding why would you try to force a reconciliation in a day like that
The fiancé let the mask drop, he should be thankful for that at least. Considering how he should have know her controlling and dismissing attitude was a huge red flag but he mindlessly dismissed it, he needed a wake up call like this to actually see things for what they are. Some people are like that, they need pain to actually learn the lesson, and there is no greater sensei than pain.
how does the person who literally assaulted OP care more now about he feels than someone who was supposed to be his life partner?
I feel no sympathy for people who don't press charges.
I feel the twins' mother does not get enough blame for precipitating the whole assault with the paired cakes listing the college acceptances which the kids had not told her themselves. Both parents should have been aware of their hopes and toxic rivalry and the mother aggravated her daughter's disappointment. Did they enjoy watching them fighting?
Yes I got the feeling that there is an unhealthy dynamic with the parents as well.
9:48 I don't think anyone could have the courage to tell about a situation about nearly losing his subscription to life in hands of his own blood
This could’ve ended bad if the sister hadn’t changed. I can’t believe ops fiancé would do sm like that.
Well, the fiance will get so mad as soon as she knows her role in the possible reconciliation.
"And it was about time that we let go of this silly rivalry," he says as he continues the rivalry by apply to his sister's dream school even though he had no intention of actually going there.
Doesn't excuse her attacking him but dude is capping about why he applied to her school.
They both dodged a bullet clearly
i never understand women that start to change the moment its about the wedding or are married.
My ex(for many reasons) always said everything changes after the wedding, but could never tell me what is changing after a wedding and why everything has to be different from one day to another...
Op should ship ex's stuff either to family or storage unit so there's no waiting game. Also, change the locks
All I’m saying is if the brother beat his sister with a fraction of what she gave him he’d be cut out of the family completely
it’s messed up that he withheld information? this woman lacks so much self awareness. lady, take a look at how much hiding and lying you did to everyone to make this happen. don’t you think that maybe implies, just a little, that even you knew it was wrong? like. you wouldn’t have to lie and twist things so much if they weren’t morally wrong! but you still did it because of your hero complex and control issues lmao
My sister and I used to be like that, then she got sick, and sick again, and sick again, after this cycle continued, I realized I couldn’t fight with her anymore, it wouldn’t be fair, her immune system we later figured out is terrible, mine is bad, but hers may lead to an earlier than expected death, now we haven’t fought in over 2 years, not once, I feel a lot happier now that we have stopped fighting.
Gotta love it when peoples savior complexes are the most important thing to them
Honestly. I have to respect out of all of this, OP were the bigger man and realized that their sister was a victim in this too. Yes she absolutely deserved the treatment she got for 10+ years. But to be genuinely better and still completely ignored like that hurt, even if OP had no way of knowing. OP asking about her at the end of the day is 100% the right thing to recognize. Though I find it hard to that she would be so calm even after 10 years after what happened since I can kind of see where her anger came from. I can't imagine her headspace after being so betrayed like that. Shovel to the head wasn't right though.
I would have just asked "why didn't you just trust me?"
Nope. Need to recognize the red flags early. Dont just assume theyll go away
The reason she thought she could be "the family savior who brought the siblings back together" was because OP let her get away with her controlling behavior all along. Had he put his foot down earlier, they might have broken up and she'd have found another guy to control. She didn't even take him seriously when he told her she had 5 days to pack up and get out. I don't even know why he did that. He should have gone home, pulled out some trash bags, and started putting her stuff in them whether she was home or not. The fact that her car was parked out of sight just shows how calculating and manipulative she is. Even after finding out what had happened, she didn't take him seriously, took zero responsibility for her actions, and blamed OP.
Honestly, I can only hope that she exposes who she really is to every guy she dates before one of them gets stuck in a marriage with her.
Sheer irony of this situation looks like the trigger for OP and the sister to reconcile too.
YET! i see where the issue is. Is not only the issue of the fiance getting the sister but literally step to every single boundary possible OP has and told her to not doing it. And instead of ask and research at least ... she just lie and manipulate everyone around.
Honestly the last thing i would guess to this level of narcissism (YEAH! because it is that), is that she works on social service too. Because this level of not giving a flying f* about the other person's feeling and boundaries with straight sociopath and saviour complex behaviour, sounds more like someone who works on social service.
This has to be one of the weirdest stories i've ever heard.