I honestly just don’t trust anyone anymore . I haven’t been around a healthy person in so long . I try to just stay to myself . But it gets lonely and depressing .
Yes, I'm sure. These kind of relationships only perpetuates the toxic dynamics of the family. It's not healthy. Has happened in my extended family as well.
Yeah my family is like this on my mom's side. She and her sisters are very toxic and dysfunctional. It is because of how their mom raised them. She basically pinned them against one another.
For me it's narcissistic mother, older brother and myself. There's never a conversation with all of us together, they have their relationship and my mother still tells me his secrets and never in a positive way. Then I'm pretty sure she does the same with him because of how he has always talked to me and is distance. The NM is the common denominator in all relationships. It's such a sad situation to be in and I've had to accept that I don't have a family. Very heartbreaking.
That's so difficult to be apart of because sometimes the parent bases the stability of their relationship with the child off of you keeping secrets and engaging in "gossip." Mother's like this need to be "shut down" in a way that doesn't necessarily wreck the relationship completely. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It's tough to say the least. Heartbreaking as you highlight.
My entire family is like this...unfortunately, the ones whom I trusted are gone or married to a toxic spouse. The fairy tale is over- but, my life is not. My holidays are alone yet safe. The loneliness is mine, part of me, something I soothe in time by seeking healthy friends, experiences, solitude.
I'm sorry Makayla. That's tough to say the least. But I'm glad that you are able to see that being alone, with a family like this, is better than being with them.
My mother does this. She constantly yells at me for random things and says I’m the biggest problem in her life when I know for a fact I’m a good son. Even my 10 year old cousin asked her if she hates me. Her response was that the kid was trying to manipulate her. I just have to accept that she is mentally unwell and I can’t take her seriously.
Free yourself from her if possible. My mom was the same, she's a vulnerable narc and emotionally abusive. Walking away was the best situation for me. I'd advise you to do that, if it's possible for you
@@jewlzn7130 In this economy, it is so hard for me. I’m 23 and I’m saving every penny so I can move out. Yesterday she told me to “kill yourself, just go do it”. She treats my sister like a princess right in front of me. Truly evil stuff I’m experiencing.
I am so THANKFUL THAT YOU USED A Man For your example. Because I know that there are many women who are abused. But this scenario is EXACTLY 1000 PERCENT our situation at the moment with my soon to be ex wife and our wonderful daughter's who are suffering from all of this.
Amazing channel, Tamara! My mother abused me horribly when I was a child. I still forgave her and am in contact with her. My brother was her golden child. Turns out my bro found a psycho wife and totally ignores my mother now. So, my mother calls me the other day to tell me what an a**hole my brother is. I was sleeping and she woke me up, so I was a bit irrascible. So, I told her that my bro behaves this way cause he's a spoilt brat and she was the one to spoil him. That she was giving him cash for drugs and drinks and he spent all his youth in bars while I was a grade A student and I didn't have a pair of shoes. It was all it took to wake up the Monster in her who has been hidden for the years she used me for supply cause my brother just don't give a damn. Her gaslighting, mental games, silent treatment began again. Why is it so difficult for narcissists to aknowledge their mistakes?
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful. I've very sorry to hear about this trauma. It sounds to me as if your mother could have used help herself. It shows us what your character truly is for forgiving her. That, of course, isn't easy. The acknowledgement piece of this is almost impossible for narcissists who have been extremely hurt, ignored, and minimized in their lives. Their personality traits are so ingrained that it isn't possible, most of the time, for them to change. Why should they if the problem is the world?
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you very much, Tamara! You are an Amazing professional. I wish I lived in the US, so I could be your patient. I will keep on listening to your videos, such amazing information that you spread. God bless you! You're an Angel.
I had a situation where my daughter's mother-in-law acted like her dog was having a seizure to get her son that is 14 to react (he screamed like someone was dying), he was acting like my 7 year old grandson left chocolate on the floor which caused the dog's seizure (chocolate causes diarrhea, not seizure in dogs). The mother-in-law was crying and Very dramatic saying her son has PTSD which is why he is reacting so extremely to her also extreme behavior. I calmly said "but that isn't a reason to traumatize my grandson " and I tried to remove my grandson to another room to get him away from the drama. The mother-in-law went even more dramatic, crying to my daughter that I said her son is traumatizing my grandson. I never said anything else but that one statement to her. To make a long story shorter, my daughter consoled the mother-in-law and told me to get out of her house. They apologized to my grandson and my daughter for traumatizing them and yelling, but no one has apologized to me. I don't know how you would break down this triangular situation, but it's exhausting and hurtful! I try to walk on eggshells so my grandchildren aren't used against me. I'm commenting about this cause there is no one I can talk to.
@robertabrown4123 I understand you, usually people tend to turn against the one person who is actually aware of what's going on. I pity them they will wake up to reality too late. I'm sorry that happened to you.
My mother took great joy in coming between myself and my father. We did not speak in the last years before his death. Can triangulation occur between a child and parent? I would tell her things in confidence or so I thought, and she would then run to my father to gossip, trying to put me in a bad light. She seemed to really enjoy fanning the flames, so to speak.
Hi S Olson, I'm sorry you went through this. Triangulation can occur in a parent-child relationship. If it is extreme it can be regarded as parental alienation.
@@TherapistTamaraHill im going through this right now...my three daughters are triangualted against me ...I love them so much and io cannot beleive my wife has done this
What does it mean when my father doesn’t except my younger brother and it creates division me and my brother aren’t close because he’s jelous of me my mom and my dad are divorced and my father doesn’t call my younger brother he doesn’t think he’s his kid. And my brother is always angry , talking to himself. What do I do here? and what is actually my situation called?
That's really helpful thank you🙏💕
Thank you💖 And thanks for watching!
I honestly just don’t trust anyone anymore . I haven’t been around a healthy person in so long . I try to just stay to myself . But it gets lonely and depressing .
I think my family was full of this. Dad would talk about one sibling to another or child would talk to other child about a parent.
Yes, I'm sure. These kind of relationships only perpetuates the toxic dynamics of the family. It's not healthy. Has happened in my extended family as well.
Yeah my family is like this on my mom's side. She and her sisters are very toxic and dysfunctional. It is because of how their mom raised them. She basically pinned them against one another.
For me it's narcissistic mother, older brother and myself. There's never a conversation with all of us together, they have their relationship and my mother still tells me his secrets and never in a positive way. Then I'm pretty sure she does the same with him because of how he has always talked to me and is distance. The NM is the common denominator in all relationships.
It's such a sad situation to be in and I've had to accept that I don't have a family. Very heartbreaking.
That's so difficult to be apart of because sometimes the parent bases the stability of their relationship with the child off of you keeping secrets and engaging in "gossip." Mother's like this need to be "shut down" in a way that doesn't necessarily wreck the relationship completely.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It's tough to say the least. Heartbreaking as you highlight.
This is my exact situation as well. Absolutely soul destroying.
My entire family is like this...unfortunately, the ones whom I trusted are gone or married to a toxic spouse. The fairy tale is over- but, my life is not. My holidays are alone yet safe. The loneliness is mine, part of me, something I soothe in time by seeking healthy friends, experiences, solitude.
I'm sorry Makayla. That's tough to say the least. But I'm glad that you are able to see that being alone, with a family like this, is better than being with them.
Hit me up
My mother does this. She constantly yells at me for random things and says I’m the biggest problem in her life when I know for a fact I’m a good son. Even my 10 year old cousin asked her if she hates me. Her response was that the kid was trying to manipulate her. I just have to accept that she is mentally unwell and I can’t take her seriously.
Free yourself from her if possible. My mom was the same, she's a vulnerable narc and emotionally abusive. Walking away was the best situation for me. I'd advise you to do that, if it's possible for you
@@jewlzn7130 In this economy, it is so hard for me. I’m 23 and I’m saving every penny so I can move out. Yesterday she told me to “kill yourself, just go do it”. She treats my sister like a princess right in front of me. Truly evil stuff I’m experiencing.
Wow. Totally getting what has happened. I'm not playing into it anymore. Best part is I fed into and was almost convinced it was me.
I am so THANKFUL THAT YOU USED A Man For your example. Because I know that there are many women who are abused. But this scenario is EXACTLY 1000 PERCENT our situation at the moment with my soon to be ex wife and our wonderful daughter's who are suffering from all of this.
Thank you Rico. This does happen with males too so we have to be fair!
Amazing channel, Tamara!
My mother abused me horribly when I was a child. I still forgave her and am in contact with her. My brother was her golden child. Turns out my bro found a psycho wife and totally ignores my mother now. So, my mother calls me the other day to tell me what an a**hole my brother is. I was sleeping and she woke me up, so I was a bit irrascible. So, I told her that my bro behaves this way cause he's a spoilt brat and she was the one to spoil him. That she was giving him cash for drugs and drinks and he spent all his youth in bars while I was a grade A student and I didn't have a pair of shoes.
It was all it took to wake up the Monster in her who has been hidden for the years she used me for supply cause my brother just don't give a damn. Her gaslighting, mental games, silent treatment began again. Why is it so difficult for narcissists to aknowledge their mistakes?
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful.
I've very sorry to hear about this trauma. It sounds to me as if your mother could have used help herself. It shows us what your character truly is for forgiving her. That, of course, isn't easy. The acknowledgement piece of this is almost impossible for narcissists who have been extremely hurt, ignored, and minimized in their lives. Their personality traits are so ingrained that it isn't possible, most of the time, for them to change. Why should they if the problem is the world?
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you very much, Tamara! You are an Amazing professional. I wish I lived in the US, so I could be your patient. I will keep on listening to your videos, such amazing information that you spread. God bless you! You're an Angel.
💖😊 thank you. Put a smile on my heart.
And you're welcome!! Blessings to you too.
Thanks Tamara! Now it makes sense what my family does to me.
I'm so glad! You're welcome. That's great to finally understand. It's liberating.
I had a situation where my daughter's mother-in-law acted like her dog was having a seizure to get her son that is 14 to react (he screamed like someone was dying), he was acting like my 7 year old grandson left chocolate on the floor which caused the dog's seizure (chocolate causes diarrhea, not seizure in dogs). The mother-in-law was crying and Very dramatic saying her son has PTSD which is why he is reacting so extremely to her also extreme behavior. I calmly said "but that isn't a reason to traumatize my grandson " and I tried to remove my grandson to another room to get him away from the drama. The mother-in-law went even more dramatic, crying to my daughter that I said her son is traumatizing my grandson. I never said anything else but that one statement to her. To make a long story shorter, my daughter consoled the mother-in-law and told me to get out of her house. They apologized to my grandson and my daughter for traumatizing them and yelling, but no one has apologized to me. I don't know how you would break down this triangular situation, but it's exhausting and hurtful! I try to walk on eggshells so my grandchildren aren't used against me. I'm commenting about this cause there is no one I can talk to.
@robertabrown4123 I understand you, usually people tend to turn against the one person who is actually aware of what's going on. I pity them they will wake up to reality too late. I'm sorry that happened to you.
This has really helped me - thank you so much for clarifying this for me 🙏🏼
Hi Sarah,
You're welcome. Glad you found it helpful. And thanks so much for watching!
My mother took great joy in coming between myself and my father. We did not speak in the last years before his death. Can triangulation occur between a child and parent? I would tell her things in confidence or so I thought, and she would then run to my father to gossip, trying to put me in a bad light. She seemed to really enjoy fanning the flames, so to speak.
Hi S Olson,
I'm sorry you went through this. Triangulation can occur in a parent-child relationship. If it is extreme it can be regarded as parental alienation.
@@TherapistTamaraHill im going through this right now...my three daughters are triangualted against me ...I love them so much and io cannot beleive my wife has done this
My mother does this first with my father, now does it with my brother. I would suggest you cut all ties and fibd your own tribe
Thanks Tamara, I am new in counseling field and this is a great explation I got today.
You're welcome!! Thanks for watching!
Thank you! Very helpful to me at this time.
another helpful video, thank you
Thanks so much! Glad it was helpful.
'Your mum always played you two off each other...blah blah blah' (Dad - as he triangulates us!)
What can a son/daughter do when there are no rescuers at all, but there are always 3 persecuters during a life time???
Great overview!
Thank you!!
Just subscribed 😀thanks so helpful
Welcome! Thank you. Very glad to hear that.
What does it mean when my father doesn’t except my younger brother and it creates division me and my brother aren’t close because he’s jelous of me my mom and my dad are divorced and my father doesn’t call my younger brother he doesn’t think he’s his kid. And my brother is always angry , talking to himself. What do I do here? and what is actually my situation called?
A dog that brings a bone to pick, will carry it.
Very true! My great grandmother used to say this all the time.
My mother did that 4:46
💓💓
😉 dang..
So intelligent, sweet and full of concern, glad I found your Channel.
☝️😁👍
Thank you!! And welcome to the channel.
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