Spiritual Bypassing - Part 1/8
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- čas přidán 8. 11. 2022
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Every spiritual system can develop unhealthy distortions that promise people a way to bypass the hard work of Recovery, or having to deal with painful emotions, or having to take a long time to grow and heal (it promises instant, magical fixes). Tim looks at some of the Bible verses often misused by Christians as promises of spiritual bypassing.
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I just found Tim’s channel through CPTSD but I’m amazed at his biblical depth
My family of origin (father, mother, brother, paternal uncle and aunt, paternal grandfather and grandmother) are Southern Baptists who do (did) exactly what Tim describes. To this day they subscribe to what I called the "God as my personal genie" philosophy of spirituality. No responsibility, only outsourcing, as Tim says. No insight into their own broken souls, their own trauma and character defects, only coping masquerading as moral superiority, rejection and emotional neglect as the highest moral good. It was very damaging to all of us children by order of degree.
Damn. Well written.
Well described. I know exactly what you mean.
I am the black sheep of a southern Baptist long line of -can confirm, their way or you are turned away-shunned under the guise of religion which they misinterpret in the letter not the spirit
I wish he would do a series on covert specifically covert narcissism... After yrs of working on myself following the Re/act precepts... Then ooops fell into a relationship with the most dangerous genre of NARCS, COVERT narc... The shame and guilt after leaving is off the charts 😭🙏😕
Yes. It destroyed my sanity. Still recovering 3 years later. Hopeful for a better tomorrow. Cleaning up my life and reparenting myself. I’m super anxious around relationships and stopped dating because I fear slipping back into a similar abusive relationship. I was doing better than ever when I met her, but within 4 months, my life was falling apart. She exposed the weaknesses that I worked hard to cover up. Now I’m raw, naked, exposed and have no choice but to do the inner work. Hope this helps. Yr not the only one who thought they were ready for love and then WAM! I didn’t even see it coming. I ignored all red flags cuz “love”, and had no boundaries to protect myself. Starting over, learning to love myself and not just self medicate.
@@DonTwanX were not alone no doubt its up to us to do the hardwork but there is reason and hope past the pain
try having one for a mother lol
@@billyb4790 Mom shaped me into the perfect little boundary-less codependent. Then when I was at a lonely but successful point in life, a covert woman swooped in to harvest what mommy dearest raised. Rebuilding with self knowledge. The challenges are many but the small victories are mine.
If you haven't watched his series on complex trauma, I'd recommend it. It explains in very detailed ways, how you were conditioned in childhood to be susceptible to those type of adult relationships. Not because there's anything wrong with you, but because it's what was taught to you as a child and what is still familiar to you as an adult. It is mistakenly perceived as love in the beginning, but then turns into your worst nightmare as you describe. I'll post a link to his 1st video in the series that's called something like Complex Trauma - Perfectionism. Here it is... czcams.com/video/h13m3LzZy6k/video.html
There is also another series he did called Complex Trauma and Codependency. He specifically talks about how you end up in the relationship with the narcissist in this series. I've watched this one twice because it really hits home. Here it is... czcams.com/video/yesXC_ibRKE/video.html
I also like "DoctorRamani" and Dr. Les Carter's "SurvivingNarcissism" channels. They are both excellent to help you spot the personality traits of narcissistic people. There is a definite pattern of traits easily recognizable if you study them and know what to look for. You will begin to see things in people you've been blinded to before. It's made a huge difference in my life and peace of mind. Good luck in your recovery journey! ✌️
I am struggling so deeply! Living in my car trying to get assistance a trauma survivor I find this content and it's helping me give me understanding into some of the things I've experienced and I can't access all the videos because he doesn't want to make them available unless you join!!!! What a freaking joke!¡!!
I am such an outsourcer! Shortly before listening to this, I became self aware that I outsource so much to get support from my life. When I need to actually be the one doing the work myself😮
It’s like going to church every Sunday and confessing and then doing the same sins all over again
The last part is what I've experienced more than any in the spiritual community - Most of the people that do it evel Kenievel over their own trauma work and go right to "helping others." They pedestalize themselves and become hyper sensitive to criticism. Often their behaviour does not match their words and they are chronic advice givers believing they are more evolved than others. They judge others harshly and fly off the handle when they are called out for doing the same.
👏👏👏👏👏
He is not known enough for yrs I have followed his teaching and what a game changer wish I lived in Canada
Wow! Praise God for bringing me to this teaching! "Faith in your faith" absolutely shook me!!
Wonderful teaching!
From one Christian to another, thank you, Tim, for helping me understand human nature better. It helps me love those who are suffering like this.
And on Philippians 3:13, where Paul is talking about forgetting about your past..... He is not talking about childhood trauma/Past trauma..... You must confront your childhood trauma as a person.... And God usually uses pain, to direct you...Your pain is where your purpose is...Facing your pains helps you to grow and be a better person
The past is the past.....I think it is the same. It all will lead back to your childhood anyway bc that is where u were shaped
Using new age spirituality to avoid inner/shadow work altogether
It sounds like he was mostly talking about classical Judeo-Christian spirituality, no? He was quoting verses from the Bible.
I think New Age religion has more of a view that God is the universe, the universe is conscious, we are all part of the universal consciousness, etc. They draw their spirituality from Eastern influences like Buddhism.
I know so many Christians who use scriptures or other religious jargon to do the same thing. They often have not done their own healing work....but love to give others advice...especially in the form of quoting (or regurgitating scriptures (and faith in God to bring it about) as a cure all for everything! But I don't call that being spiritual...but rather being Religious. Spiritual doesn't always mean you have to always be quoting scripture. Sometimes just wisdom, love and psychologically healthy principles work quite well. ❤
Faith without works is dead
Your videos, particularly this series, has been life changing for me. I have had this false narrative playing in my head for years that because I do not constantly have this "joy of the Lord" all the time, that God is not pleased with me and therefore withholding His joy for me. Now that I have been presented with this truth about spiritual bypassing, I can accept what I am, where I am and hopefully become content as I do the work needed
Thank you very much for such a good and truthful way of looking at scripture and trying end an
addiction.
Just saw you on a CZcams Short and immediately tracked you down and subscribed. Infinitesimally important information. Will be sharing your links, definitely. Thank you
Wow. This is an amazing teaching. Thank you for describing what I'm watching and what we are tempted to do with God.
This describes people I could never understand!
Good sent you to me when I had no faith and was lost.
THANK YOU so MUCH, Pastor Fletcher! This really is a great help for me at the present time!
One of the most important speeches! Thank you❤
This is so true. Thank you for this teaching.
I am guilty of this and had no idea.
Thank you Tim your words have opened my eyes and I could have continued believing it was the right way and possibly hurt my faith but I understand why it's not going to work
My family needs to hear one of your videos. They don't believe In mental healthcare, they believe all we need is the bible and that mental illness isnt real or at least not common. To hear different from an adult Christian male might be my best bet for them to actually listen and understand why I am the way I am and I'm not just being punished for some sin i must have committed. It also might help them heal for their own traumas they refuses to address.
Would you consider making a short video for the conservative Christian community about the basics of mental health?
Appreciate all these powerful tools.❤
The German songwriter Paul Gerhardt who lived centuries ago had the right faith you are talking about. His songs are still famous today. Its worth to look at his biography and songtexts on CZcams
What a great video!! I wished it had millions and millions of views!!
Powerful talk
Thank you. 👋 Badly needed speech and clarification.
GOD Bless you. Scripturally Enlightening Admonishment.
❤ excellent video. Great definition at 2:17
Thank you so much for sharing these valuable and very needed lessons ❤🎉
This is the story of my life .. now I've got to the point where I can't use spirituality to put a lid on things.
Thanks!
12:00 I'm really grateful for this series because I think I turned to religion to bypass spiritually as a child in a neglectful household, but honest question:
What's the point of God if he won't give you mental strength? He won't stop wars, miscarriages, cancer, multiple sclerosis, he won't cure someone who is paralyzed or has an amputated arm, but the one tangible thing he is supposed to do is give you mental strength.
But now that's not even scripturally true? If you do the hard work yourself it will all work out and when you look back you'll realize God helped you?
This sounds like what an absent father would tell you after you became a successful adult: "Look son, I know I wasn't around when you needed me, but look how self-sufficient and hyperindepenedent you are. I think in the end you turned out better. So in a way I actually was a good father and helped you." This is a copout.
Personally, once I gave up on God my healing slowly began. I eventually learned that my behavioral responses and mental patterns came from my childhood and that I needed to fix them.
It is very appropriate that this theme would be approached at this time for me. I was recently considering my spiritual development since of all the facets of my life it is the one I let sit on a shelf. I came to it in desperation, since I have relied on psychology all my life to get help with my trauma, and although I have progressed in many ways, in the most fundamental ways I find I remain the same. I have been following these talks for 2 years now and they have helped me bear through the hardest part of my life so far. I was an agnostic all my life, my thought was, my life is hard enough without that can of worms too. Last month I thought, I have tried everything so far, is it correct to not develop this too? What if this is what was missing that was holding me back from progressing? I don't expect this to be a patch on my problems, I do hope however that it helps me establish routines that are healthy and keep me focused on good things. Instead of my constant negative self-thought and abuse. Everyone can tell you ''be mindful'' ''be grateful'' ''be present'' but without further instruction. If you establish rituals that help you focus on this maybe it does add meaning to your life. Maybe this incipient part of me could be a strength if trained properly. Even if it is just for me. This is my hope, maybe my last. Thank you for your guidance and care, Mr. Fletcher.
So much wisdom Mr Fletcher, thank you. I most certainly one of the people that you were talking to, wandering about using spirituality to bypass the emotional work of overcoming CPTSD.
It seems to me also what you talking about the cortex is what Proverbs talks about using wisdom, learning wisdom, right? Or at least some of the teachings of Proverbs would fit that.
Genius
Review past to see what's unhealthy so we can change it.........Lord, wasted so much money on counselors who don't know or didn't care how to bring me to healing. I need help
Who’s here because of Theo von???
No. It is like " who walks on all 4 then 2 then 3?"
It is a metaphore for life.
You think you are invincible when you are a kid.
So powerful as an adult.
And just trying to make it to the next breath when you ate old
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ from 🇫🇮
I say this respectfully. After God, you're the 2nd man that i need!!! I need God to work thru life w me, but i do agree my religion teaches a lot of that bullcrap like you call out. Thats why now im separating God from my religion now tbh..
oh thank you this is so great. Could you do a similar presentation how people abuse psychology?
example: "well don't get mad at me, I'm just telling you what you NEED to hear! If you're angry, it's not because I'm a narcissistic jerk, it's because you are sick and need to look within yourself."
If there's no truth to what they are saying it won't bother you. It would just be their issue
@@dnaphysics too simplistic. I’m looking for someone who knows what they’re talking about.
Just a thought...but maybe it could possibly be the way you are saying it??? Either the wording, the tone, or the underlying sound of judgement??? Ask someone who...1) knows you well 2) is insightful and/or intuitive, and 3) is not afraid to tell you the truth about how you might come across. Good luck.
There's a lot of born again christians who do this, specially the ones who consider themselves spiritual, like new agers and such
I don't wanna do the heard work it keeps making me depressed and sick it might kill me soon X( like I don't wanna push everyday I just wanna breath easy, literly it makes it hard to breath.
This is very good.
Still, I do think Tim hasn't exprienced a deep radical nondual enlightenment. People who have, usually know that it is a combination of very hard work and instant grace, not either or.
Justification by Works in James
James 2:14-26 repeatedly argues that faith without works doesn’t save on the last day. Those who claim to have faith but lack good works aren’t saved by such a claiming faith (Jas. 2:14). James compares such faith to “words of love and comfort” given to someone who is cold and hungry. Such words are meaningless if not accompanied by actions to feed and clothe the person in need (2:15-16). So also, faith without works is “dead” and “useless” (2:17, 20, 26).
I would like to ask is how is god allowing so much trauma in the world?!
At what point do you want God to step in to your life and keep you from doing things that might hurt others?
Spiritual gluttony
OK but if you're using spirituality tk avoid doing any mond of work or growth you're not doing spirituality, that's loke the whole point of spirituality it to learn what work needs to be done for an indvodual to grow/evolve?
There IS a God. Th9s video is for me. I was an Atheist for so long that I raised my son the same way. Now look what I've done. I really messed up by doing that. It's not the kind of thing you can really fix.
You don't even touch on new age spiritual bypassing. It's rampant
That's my issue with faith, what's the point in faith if you can just do what you need to do? Mabye we need faith to do it but then you relise "I cam do this for myself why do I need faith?"
It's not rly faith if you have to ask somebody else.
@@hoxiefam6731 we must first free ourselves from our toxic shame to find God.
Got turned off ever since he mentioned hard work. Then the whole matter clicked. Bible. Puritanism. Etc.. etc...
> Got turned off ever since he mentioned hard work. Then the whole matter clicked.
What do you mean? When you say "clicked" do you mean you got 'turned back on'? Or...?
> Puritanism
In another video titled "Realistic Recovery - Part 1/13", he talks about 'being horny', and that if that need isn't addressed it'll mess us up. He didn't go into detail but he at least mentioned it. Is that what you were talking about?
Fine, there are other therapists available. Maybe he hit a point within your heart? Is that the problem?
Why is it not analyzed better. They talk about spirit to reduce stress and narcissism for a better tomorrow. If our backward ancestors had talked about SPIRIT, people would not have had problems with themselves and others. Afterwards, it is easier to move forward with a spiritual person. Narcissists cannot be analyzed better tomorrow (they only think of themselves and matter until they exhaust the entire planet before time). This also offends priests who are spiritual in character.
I am in utter disbelief that you have to pay $10 a month to view certain videos that contain this content that he's covering! UN..BE..LIEV.. ABLE!!!!!!!
There is nothing out there, no god no jezus no mary no joxef. Its up to you