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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- To the outside world Andrew and Maria have a flawless relationship; they seem to be an ideal couple. However all is not as it seems as crippling jealousy and unbearable anger is slowly eating away at the perfect life.
Created by Sophie Joseph - www.sophiejoseph.co.uk
/ eihosproductionssj
In this situation, the girlfriend makes her boyfriend feel inadequate in the relationship or like he doesn't deserve her. In doing this, he is afraid to leave the abusive relationship because he's scared and has it ingrained in his mind that he won't find anyone better than her.
Emotional and physical abuse is horrible regardless who it's happening to.
It is situations like this where I think the man has every right to do whatever is needed to get out of the abusive relationship.
David Welsh Of course he has every right. A woman also has every right to get out of abusive relationships. You ask any individual currently in or with experience in an abusive relationship and you'll hear that it's not easy to leave. Most victims who are murdered by an abusive spouse were killed AFTER leaving the relationship.
*****, yes.. but that is not because of them leaving.
David Welsh Yes, it is often because they leave. More than 70% of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has gotten out.
*****, the problem is that it is just as likely they would still be dead if they had stayed. it is not just because they left, it is because abusers either believe they have a right to abuse or they see nothing wrong in what they do on some level.
Finally there is a visual representation of female on male domestic violence. It pisses me off that we don't talk about male victims of domestic violence and rape, or that we discredit them in some manner when they speak about their experiences. Speak out against abuse of any kind when you see it, stand by those who have lived through the abuse, and offer them support, no matter what gender they are.
Dr. Phil claimed on national television that when this happens "it's a relationship issue," not abuse.
salaciousBastard That man's a moron, and he's not even a doctor. Not anymore, anyway.
DarkSpiritMorrigan I know. I just wanted to see what people had to say about it. Ironically, I was flipping the channels on tv, as I was watching your video, when I ran across this very episode where he says this! It freaked me out so I posted. I couldn't believe he would say that shit with a straight face. The brother started crying and shit. He knew something was wrong with what Dr. Phil was telling him, but he couldn't put it into words deep in the heifer's den. He talked about how 99% of the time he just ends up running away in the car. She then chimes in talking about he uses the car to isolate her. I'm like no bitch, he uses the car to get away from you. Call a cab or catch the bus pt hitch a ride. 50 ways to leave your lover!
salaciousBastard Do you think of people try hard enough, we can get that mustachioed moron off the air?
salaciousBastard Get Dr. Phil off the air. He's been spreading a lot of misinformation, and it isn't helping anyone, especially if he's doing it under the guise of a doctor. You know?
I went through this myself. My ex was emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling. I was not allowed to wear certain clothes or shoes, she would always check my phone.
She was very jealous all of the time and would never let me speak to, my friends or parents.
I am glad that I spoke to someone and got out of that relationship.
Isolation is key for the narcissist to control you.. remember that.
This woman makes me think of my mother before she went on medication. It makes me want to cry. I remember so many screaming matches I got into trying to defend my father from verbal abuse.
Good for you defending him.
I'm sorry any of that happened.
Stressing about how to fold a towel hoping to avoid the abuser’s recrimination or worse, her rage. Such a clear depiction of what it means to be walking on eggshells.
I am female and to me, abuse is abuse no matter who's receiving it. It hurts me to see how some people are just saying, "He needs to grow some balls." or "Why can't he just leave her?", etc. It just shows that they do not understand. It's not that simple. I know because I have witnessed this.
I grew up witnessing my mom constantly emotionally abuse my dad. I told my friends this, they laughed and said, "Your dad doesn't have a backbone". I never talked to them again. I tried to explained but they just don't understand. Very similar to the woman in this video, my mom constantly tells my dad how she chose him over all the other guys, how she's perfect for him, how she works like a slave raising me and my sister, and how ungrateful he is. On top of that, she insults him, forbids him to be in contact with his family, keeps watch on him all the time. Even when he was five minutes late in arriving home from work, she would have a fit. I am being serious.
I asked my dad this many times, "Why the hell did you marry her?" It was because of me. He felt the need to take responsibility and claimed he loved her. He thought she would change. But it only got worse. Throughout my life, I've witnessed huge fights, it became a part of my life. I've witnessed her threatening to kill him while pointing a knife to his face, her breaking everything in the house, her throwing his things out of the house and forcing him to get out... When my dad finally had enough, he went to the police to tell them. And guess what, they stared at him and didn't give a shit. Just like that... But yes, in today's society, being a man and saying you're abused by a woman, seems laughable. No one can take it seriously.
One day, when he was pushed to the edge by her, he slapped her... on the arm. My mom immediately called the cops and sobbed about how he was abusing her. She didn't have a mark on her. But so? They arrested my dad and he spent the night in jail.
When I was 15, she left the family for some man in another country and he divorced her. However, she often returns and her abuse would continue. She has the right to stay with us since she owns half the house and refuses to sell it... my dad is paying for EVERYTHING. My dad and I are still trying to think of ways to make this work. Not only does she abuse him, she also abuses me. Growing up, I faced the same abuse my dad did, but also physically because I was weaker than she was. So I know exactly what he's feeling. I've felt suicidal many times because of the things she says to me. And I know my dad has it worse. He has done so much for her and this was what he was getting in return.
So what if he's a man? Men can't be abused? Who said so? It doesn't matter who it is getting abused. Abuse is abuse. Society needs to understand that. It should be taken seriously for ALL people.
This comment is 5 years old as I read this. I really hope you and your dad are coping better now and are on the road to recovery. You can do this! Your dad and yourself sound extremely brave, kind and courageous people. Let him know and strong he is- you are too. Sending love, blessings and healing vibes to you and your dad xx💕
"Why can't he just leave her?".................he should. And she should if its the other way round. Peeps need to have some respect for themselves.
Your absolutely right we are all human they say you should not hit women that's true but the bottom line is no one should hit anyone
I wanna hug him and not let him go
You are not alone, I've been through all of this.
There is no excuse for abuse regardless who abuses who.
Yup, and it gets even worse when he chooses to end the relationship, because then she uses the state as a weapon to continue abuse him after the relationship has ended; often times using false accusations of abuse and rape to get the state, and other people to do the dirty work for her.
Lesson learned: Don't marry, and don't co-habitate.
It doesn't matter that "not all women are like that." Since men have no defense against a woman like this, and in fact, becomes the villain if he does defend himself, using the canard, "not all woman are like that," is a lot like trying to convince someone to play Russian Roulette by saying, "Just because the revolver has a round in one chamber, it doesn't mean all chambers are like that."
So, the only defense a man has against an abusive woman, or any woman who choses to use the state as a weapon to "take him to the cleaners," for that matter, is to refuse to play the game. ....to opt-out of a situation that is almost certainly going to become harmful to him, if not right away like in this video, then without a doubt, when the relationship comes to an end.
So to re-iterate.... Lesson learned: Don't marry, and don't co-habitate.
Very good actors both of them. The issue was highlighted very well.
Thank you for putting a video out there about this.. to raise more awareness.. we went through something similar my dad, brother and I with my mom but my mom... was sooooo much worse than this video... the trashed room was the trashed house she left behind (complete with broken doors, banisters, glass and things thrown all over the place, curtens ripped down.. to name a few) I had to protect my brother from her since i can remember and my dad as almost always at work and if he wasn't he as home protecting us. people living around us could here within a 3 house radios when she screamed at us all... This is just the tip of the ice berg. But I digress, Thank you... it really means a lot
She is indeed mentally ill. I wont be, trust me. I don't even trust her now that she's under gong treatment.
btw im glad for the positive and supportive comments here on this video. usually itll be drowned with trollers
I've seen a few, only seen one shit eating narcissistic feminist which is really surprising.
But she is a very determined one hellbent on hijacking every thread with a rant about porn.
Thank you for talk about this subject
'I'm perfect for you'.... um honey.. have u seen your teeth?
LMAO... hahahahaha
Damn. I am lost for words
Hahaha
seeing someone you love, man or woman cry because of hurt is never a pleasant thing. When you noticed what youve done you feel extreme shit, because when youre close to a person you tend to shout and scold without noticing. I wasnt abusive but ive shouted to my loved ones before. hate doing there. i will never do that ever again. it hurt me more than them. i felt like utter shit to be doing that to someone i loved.
There is zero reason for anyone to ever treat their significant other that way. NO matter your gender, its NOT OK. It is NOT your fault. Speak up. Find a way out. There are resources available to you. I know it is scary, I've been there. I know you think you can fix them. You can't. I'm sorry, but they will never change.
I had a girlfriend once that would start random arguments for no reason. At one point she just started screaming at me, saying I should hit her. It was weird. I can only imagine that she had some dark past, and I tried to get her to seek help. I hope she did.
Phillip Parr Your girlfriend may of been a masochist
She more than likely had Borderline Personality Disorder because she sounds exactly like my ex who has it. It's treatable, but she needs to admit she has a problem and be willing to commit to several years of therapy.
I’m Glad They Switch The Roles Because Male Domestic Abuse Victim Almost’s Always Get Over Looked
The two fishes make a better couple. LOL
It's an ironny that movies on domestic violence on men are not nominated for awards but those depicting poetic justice about offenders inflicting domestic violence on women are screened nominated and awarded....
My Uncle dated a woman who was abusive...he finally left her when he got home and she greeted him with a baseball bat to the face. Guys, it is not weak to admit you have an abusive partner. Anyone who would call you that for being in this situation is not worth your time anyway.
I think her abusive behavior comes form the fact that shes very controlling and is afraid that if he leaves her, she wont find anyone else that she can control. So then she becomes like she is and starts getting over worried about everything.
Her best bet would be to see a shrink!
I wonder why the guy doesn't defend himself, though.
Why doesn't he just grab her wrists or something, or even fight back if necessary?
That's what I would do if some crazy girl started to attack me.
Laurelindo Love makes you dumb. She's not "some crazy girl", she's his wife.
Laurelindo because if he does so, she'll pretend he hurt her. People would immediately see him as the abuser. That's what hurts most about abuse on men. Is that even if they have strength to fight back, they can't and they get humiliated for it.
Its quite well made. kudos.
I don't know what was worse the verbal/physical abuse, or the acting, they both hurt to watch,
Great acting. I have experienced this sort of thing. When we approach 8:30 in the time line is a key moment that I have personally experienced. Then you get women who claim abuse. A horrible situation.
Run, run, run!
A realistic and well written short drama. Realistic because people do behave like this. Personally I might have avoided having her slap him, since the message about emotional and psychological bullying is weakened by the physical violence. I reckon it's pretty common, and is often found in relationships which have lasted decades, and in which an apparently 'strong' partner is the victim. Regardless of gender.
I suspect both of them would benefit from therapy: it's not just she who behaves badly. Bullying and violence against anybody is not acceptable - sometimes it's women or children who become victims, but men too can be the underdogs.
Saying Andrew should 'man-up' is almost to suggest that men ought to dominate the situation, and their partner/children. And many 'henpecked' husbands are thought by their work colleagues and friends to be the epitome of machismo, despite their domestic circumstances.
I'd walk out and keep walking. I've never been in an abusive relationship, but I've seen enough friends and family go through that crap.
Darrel Mahan II I think it's easier said than done. I haven't been in a relationship, but in abusive relationships the victim has been convinced that they are inadequate and that if they leave that relationship they won't be able to fend for themselves. I think that's why a love of abused people return to their partners.
tfmuggleblood
That's fair. Realistically I can't know what I'd do until confronted with the situation. I can onl hope I did the smart thing.
If that was my girlfriend I would probably hug/cuddle her and kiss her and sit her down and talk about things. Find things for her to do to occupy her life, like enroll her in a college so she can continue her education so she can find a career to occupy her time, or sign her up for some activities or clubs. When people lives are busy doing something important, it'll make them feel important therefore they will be more happy. Or, if that doesn't work, I can always break out my OJ gloves. LOL ;)
That's really sweet of you, but don;t forget to get your hypothetical girlfriend mental health help!
That was a cute answer, actually, but if you're inside an abusive relationship, sometimes the best way out is to break up. But your "make her stay busy while feeling important/productive" way sounds pretty good too.
I don't see how happiness can be associated to doing something important, is a doctor happy when they tell their patients they are going to die from illness, or did you mean something that the person would consider important to their happiness. maybe it can be important to someone's happiness that they refrain from having an active lifestyle. most of the time people who are verbally or physically abusive partners also suffer from mental health problems, and putting more stress on a persons social or work life only increases their negative personality traits.
LOL Laura, would you mind elaborating for me?
Scouse Wayne. Verbal abuse between two people can be fixed or a solution can be made by talking about it without criticism. I understand that there are different elements to domestic abuse. And I never said to stress someone more by adding extra loads to their life. One of the elements to being happy in psychology is to feel like your life means something by having support or being able to be a hand for someone else without being stressed out yourself. Whenever I feel down, doing some charity work do make me overall happy. Every time my girlfriend has a problem we simply just talk about it and try to solve it to make her happy or fix what's wrong, and/or go out to get her mind off it for awhile then come back to the problem later. It works most of the time. I never witness or read anything about severe domestic abuse, so, in that case, yes, more professional help is needed. And understand that my first post was me joking and telling you guys about my own experiences. Scouse, you are exaggerating a bit on your doctor allegory.
This seems like an interesting video.
*and in that moment he managed to remember the things he blocked out*
in order to see that men can be hurt and abused by women, you need to understand the power of women.
Kate Galang I didn't see the original comment but men are actually victims of 40% of domestic violence. It is just that men are arrested more often than women.
jayhartRIC check any up to date domestic abuse statistics and it will say that women make up the majority of domeatic abuse victims. Men can be victims of domstic abuse but many do not seek help, since theyre taught to believe becaiae they are men they must not tell anyome to show that they are "strong" and dont let little women break them apart. That is a serious issue. Men do not report because reporting would need to have tjem admit that theu were "weak" enough to be hurt by a woman.
jayhartRIC where did you get the statistics for that?
www.mintpressnews.com/woman-aggressor-unspoken-truth-domestic-violence/196746/
This is the article that I found it in.
Kate Galang On every comment section online, even if it's only abut the weather, there are men using it as a place to whinge on about their hatred of women. I always thought that the mind of serial killers and abusive men was rare until I came online. Idiots make tribute videos for serial killers, and the comments are all about how the women deserved it because of this or that, as if they can decide if a woman lives because of what she does.
so glad the cops a spoke to saw the abuse straight away ... people who do this are pure evil
This is a story about Goldfish who live happily together in an aquarium in an apartment of two humans who make each other miserable.
Wow, it pains me to say this, but that woman is my mother (figuratively). She's thrown heavy objects at him and cheated on him by staying with another guy when I was 13, leaving my dad to take both roles of breadwinner and homemaker. Even worse, she took out her anger on me, the daughter and oldest child of 4, verbally and physically. I remember when I was 16, she inflicted a cut on my eye socket by slamming my head against the edge of a wall. I did not retaliate or fight back against her, because I knew that I was a better person than that. On multiple occasions, she called me names, taunted me for being desperate and too ugly/selfish for a boyfriend (and when I finally got a loving boyfriend in college, told me to go stay with him because I seemed "obsessed" with him), and threatened me repeatedly to kick me out of the house. It took me until I finished college and started grad school, where I have my own salary, to move out. While I have the freedom to never return home again, I feel sorry for my dad for not having the guts to stand up to the woman who tries miserably to be a wife and mother, but is incapable of showing it. I hope she receives the help she needs.
i agree that both men and women can be abusive in relationships. however, this video wasn't effective for me. i'm not sure if it's the script or the acting or the directing/editing, but it lacks something. i don't really feel for him. i just see them both as psychologically damaged. they found each other and are stuck in this loop because they likely grew up in similar abusive environments.
my boyfriend has a father that was emotionally abusive toward his mother. he fears he'll turn out the same way, and has seen the patterns develop in himself when he treated a previous girlfriend badly. the reason he likes me so much is because he is less scared about turning abusive with me. i have a strong personality and will fight/challenge him when i feel like he is wrong. i refuse to take his shit, and because of it, he sees it immediately when he is being irrational/controlling. he has expressed to me that this has been really good for him. we are both seeking out therapists so that we don't fall into bad patterns.
point is, people seek out the same environment they grew up in because that is what feels most 'normal' to them, even if it isn't healthy. my father was gone for months at a time when i was a kid. for this reason, i am extremely comfortable in long-distance relationships- even when they are bad for me. the best thing one can do is seek out help and identify these unhealthy patterns so you can make yourself into a stronger, more secure person.
are you sure its the script/acting/ etc and not a preconceived notion that he should be able to defend himself and that males can never truly be victims? Why wouldnt you feel for someone in his situation? and how could you possibly see her as the victim in this situation? (you're suggesting she acts this way because she is a victim of abuse, that may be true, but that is still not a valid excuse for her to abuse someone like she does)
suggesting that he "seeked" this type of relationship reeks of victim blaming. But as you say people get stuck in these loops. Pitty there is no legal/social support for males to escape these loops (and if there is it is a LONG way shy of the ones offered to females). Often the only way for a male to escape these situations is to lash out physically. We all know that all the abuse that he recieved from her then becomes irrelevant in the laws eyes and he will be painted as another misogynistic asshole that beats on his partner, spurring even more support for the "Domestic violence is always male perpetrators and always female victims" attitude that is prevelant in todays legal structures and society
oy, when i wrote that critique, i knew people were going to take it the wrong way.
ABSOLUTELY both men and women can be abusers. i was critiquing the video, not the message.
both the abuser AND the victim remain in the relationship because in a twisted way, it feels safe to them. OF COURSE the victim doesn't SEEK to be abused- it just turns into a pattern that both parties are too emotionally damaged to break.
i agree that society needs to stop with the gender role stereotypes when it comes to women abusing men.
i think the subject of physical/emotional abuse in romantic relationships would be better approached if we look at it as a pattern that the abuser and the victim have a tendency to subconsciously reconstruct. THERE IS a difference between a victim that leaves after the first incident and the victim that stays for years. i don't think we should negate that.
the reason people tend to have little sympathy for men or women that stay in these relationships is because they do not understand why they stay. they do not understand the patterns of thought and manipulation and history that brings about this very special blend of hell. because very simply, they did not grow up that way. i think educating people on THAT would be much more effective than showing the surface of a girl saying mean things to her boyfriend. everyones' reaction is just- 'ugh, annoying girl, just break up with her, just leave. grow up, get balls. find someone else.' they don't understand the deeper problem of what is causing it.
sydandtaytum ah ok, yeah i took what you said differently.
While what you say is true, i cant help but feel the film isnt trying to get people to ask "why dont they leave" and have a deeper understanding of why they dont.
I feel this films purpose is to highlight that this does happen and that gender is irrelevant. Its to challenge the preconceived notions peddled to society that males cant be victims and females are always innocent.
hopefully to try and garner support for victims in these situations.
sydandtaytum
In psychology it's discussed constantly, it's known as a Co-dependent relationship. It means you can't operate on your own and put your independence in another's hand. It's always unhealthy. I understand what your saying, but the video is discussing the trend your asking to bring about. The acting is pretty terrible though, the woman is going through the numbers, and the guy just doesn't really express the building tension well. Appreciate their point, but do wish it was better executed.
William Greeson yes, thanks for bringing up co-dependent relationships. that was exactly what i was talking about but had forgotten the term.
I dated a girl like that once. She's in my backyard.
You mean, you literally buried her?
Domestic abuse is horrible regardless of who you are. The only difference between violence against women and violence against men are the genders of the abuser and the victim.
I know this is old but the situation isn't. The biggest problem I have seen men face is when they do call police for help, they usually arrest the man and charge him with domestic violence. I've seen it over and over again. When women call, they usually don't do anything because they figure they will be back to the house again. It would also seem that the person abused doesn't believe they can live alone or survive alone. Wherever it starts, they don't seem to believe that someone else would ever want them. I wonder if co-dependency is part of the cycle of abuse to begin with.
"Nag" is an unfortunate word. Seems to be always used to describe women. I would say she's ill or something, an abusive person indeed. But the word "nag" is overused, no?
Yes, no.
"nag" is always used to describe women as much as "abusive" is used to describe males.
but nagging does seem to be a pretty accurate description for this woman...(along with abusive etc)
Start using it to describe more men then, it will remain a gendered term if you let it be so.
tharpoon Nagging is the usual term for someone making pesky demands, not a person who is outright abusive like this!
Barbara Necker well i did call her abusive as well...
As a woman who's been abused, I don't see how anyone can get off on hurting others this is really sad
, this is my daily life this film, I never thought I would feel the depths of unhappiness and despair I feel today , no matter how much I try to please my wife i am looked upon as dirt ,maybe its time to accept the truth i will lose everything as the courts are loaded against men ,but atleast I will have peace.🤔
Hi Tony, my name is Gracie and I saw your comment and I just wanted to write a reply. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through something similar a few years ago so I understand what it’s like. Even though I don’t know you personally, believe me, I and others including your friends and family sincerely care about your welfare and know that you are loved and cared about, even if it’s really tough to see it. You are incredibly strong for living as you are- whatever she says. People are NEVER weak to have gone/are going through something like this. You are handsome, brave, kind, loving, caring, intelligent, knowledgeable, honest, good-hearted and a valid human being and a great asset to our world, believe me. You WILL get through this, however long the road seems you will get there. Remember, there are people around you and this charity as well as hotlines that can help, aid and give support to you and let you know you’re not alone and can help you. I recommend looking at ManKind Initiative’s website for more info and if your wife walks in, there is a clear button you can press which instantly takes you to a google search engine so the website can’t be seen. You have the strength to leave, even if you can’t see it yet. She can’t hold onto you forever. You will fight and you will succeed and win. I hope all the best for you and know that I’m thinking of you and hoping for your happiness and success. Stay strong and true to yourself. Maybe when she puts you down think or write 5 things that you like and are good about yourself (positive and loving affirmations) to counteract those words if you think that would help you even just a little bit. Good luck, stay brave and NEVER give up brother. God Bless you, sending you love, peace, blessings and loving healing vibes and know that we care my love❤️
@@gmehaywood4010 hi Grace thank you for your beautiful word I am very grateful 🙏, just to let you know I had to get the police involved about 2weeks ago because my wife asolted me and I was advised by the police to leave the relationship, I now live with family at the moment and I have filled for divorce, and trying to rebuild my life now its very difficult emotionally but with family and gods love I will recover and I hope to find new love in the future that will value my as a loving human being, i wish you all the best in life you are a very special person thank you for caring God bless you always may the angels watch over you always. 💟
Tony Irving Hi, thanks so much. I’m sorry she assaulted you but I’m so glad you were able to get out and now living with family. It will be a struggle in the coming months but you will get through it and you will definitely find someone amazing who loves you and cares about you in every way. Never stop believing you’re special and brilliant and can get through anything. I wish you the very best for the future ☺️👍
Amazing woman 😍
I heard a news story about a dude who’s girlfriend attacked him with a samurai sword as he slept because she found the tinder app on his phone and thought he was cheating. He was able to defend himself and convince her to calm down. He came out alive probably due to the fact that he was a marital artist, but he was badly cut up. He was a professional gamer so spent all his time training for that, so he said he had no time to cheat on her even if he wanted to. Also I have apps I haven’t used in forever on my phone. He could have had that on there from a year or more ago. Also that one awesome actor from SNL was killed by his wife as he slept. I also watched a doc in which some prisoners talked about their abusive mothers. So there is some actual evidence that this stuff exists. (Also as a side thing, is Humphrey Bogart’s first wife by all appearances did more physical damage to him then he did to her.)
When you hear about abuse you instantly think of men’s abuse towards women. And if someone mentions a man being abused by a woman you think it either doesn’t exist or it’s probably much less serious and very rare. That’s the message that’s put out there. People either mock it or never talk about it. It’s weird when what all of society teaches you is overturned quickly. Of course a lot of what they teach is actually wrong. More women talk about abuse then men because they won’t be mocked or belittled. Men have no leg to stand on in court against women and will be relentlessly mocked for saying a woman is abusing him. He’ll be shunned and nothing will be done.
No wrong is ever right. No matter who it's from
very important issue and awesome video!
Violence, physical and verbal abusing is not a answer to solve all your problem
After 1 minute I was already thinking out loud "Leave!". Of course, for things to get so bad he has to be the kind who doesn't leave in the first place. So just saying "Leave!" or "Grow some balls!" isn't really the solution. Not sure what it is though. If he can't take the opportunities he has (like, for example, every time he leaves the house) to seek some help or draw a line or set boundaries, what is there to do but wait for him to understand his situation?
At the mankind initiative the first piece of advice we give for abused men is exactly the same as we would give to abused women. "Where possible leave the relationship." We also encourage anybody who feels this is not an option to carefully consider the circumstances as the psychological abuse that almost always accompanies the violence may have left the abused feeling there was no way out even if there are escape options available. I had been isolated from my family and really felt I would be homeless and helpless without my wife but the truth is my sister is an amateur landlord and had empty properties the whole time. It was only after I got away that it became clear the way out was right there all the time.
I appreciate that I'm lucky to have access to somewhere to live but the truth is most victims (of any gender) have options even if it isn't in the form of a house available for a knock down rent. In this film Andrew had friends at work and was in contact with relatives, there would at very least be a sofa he could stay on while he saved up the money needed to rent a room somewhere his wife couldn't find him. This is why we will always encourage the victim to look around him, we will try and help raise the blinkers that have been placed on him as often options are there.
Of course we want all refuge shelters to offer gender neutral services but it is vitally important to remind anybody who has been made to feel helpless that he has more power than he realises. When we say where possible leave the relationship immediately the general response we will always get is "that's not possible" and so we work with the victim to help him realise there is hope That he called the helpline to start with shows he has more strength than he gives himself credit for. Just like the escape route was there for me the whole time but I was too blind to see it, many more shelters are providing a gender neutral service yet even the men who live near them don't feel they have anywhere to go. Petitioning shelters run exclusively for women that they should open their doors to all abused partners is an important part of the Mankind initiative's work but working with victims who are currently trying to escape an helping them consider what help may be available to them is another equally important part of our work and it's entirely possible to do both at the same time.
John-Paul Van-Huysse there IS such a thing as divorce!
I never deleted any comment here. Might not have read yours *****
These videos are put together very well with the actors playing great rolls!! Basically these videos started when psychologists realized feminism had destroyed society. They started to focus on reversing the effects in America about 5-10 years ago.
I wouldn't put up with this kind of crap from my husband (who wouldn't do such a thing) and no man should tolerate it from a wife or girlfriend. File for divorce and move on. There are other nicer people in the world and we need to let creeps like this woman and other abusers live alone. My husband had been mistreated by a couple of girlfriends before we met and when we married, he kept telling me it was like paradise to be with me because I am never unkind to anyone, including him, and build him up instead of tearing him down.
I would talk a walk somewhere if I was treated like that guy.
Wow is all I can say.
3 words:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Run, don't walk to the nearest exit, and don't come back.
God give me a good wife please😢
That's a hard expectation
Is she going to dump that aquarium out of spite and he'll try to get the fish in some wayer?
Poor guy needs to build up his self confidence and not let someone put him down like that.
Reasons aside, no one single person should be so over-controlling of a relationship.
She's too crazy for counseling. He needs to pack his stuff and disappear.
What accent is that? I can't figure out if its British, Welsh, or Scottish.
Man, I feel so sorry for that guy, but that woman was so aggressive. That guy's good looking and he seems to be so nice, especially when he smiles.
the real crime here is the writing
what, not the acting?
If you can, grab everything in the middle of the night, shove it in your car and leave...if you can.
Unless there is some good reason why she is exceptionally stressed out . . . he should leave her.
Why doesn't he? For the same reason that women don't leave men: he's been so abused that he's lost the will to make independent decisions.
Domestic violence victims are stuck. Male or female: they need to be rescued.
Edging to this rn. Which my wife was domimant.
I would like the makers of this video know that the site Upworthy has used this video - which is cool in and of itself - and cut the video off before the credits roll in. It's not a big deal, and viewers can click to see the credits, but I think it was extremely bad-mannered of them to do that. I just hope you knew that and that Upworthy is acting respectably
I volunteer to take the abused man out of here OR - any situation, we should all volunteer to take the abused men and women out of any abusive situation. This actress is so good I do find myself wanting to beat the crap out of her!
A lot of people would assume that man wouldn't be in the other end of abusive relationship because they are physical stronger than women, they can actually protect themselves from it. But it isn't that simple because people in abusive relationships don't necessary can't protect themselves physical, it is more like they can't from a mental way. They can leave once their partner does something to them but they choose not to. Anyway, love is hard. It isn't easy to say I should leave so I will. They are a lot of people who are insecure and a lot with problems so together with love, this kind of thing happens.
I always thought the mindset of serial killers and abusive men was rare until I came online, and it churns my stomach how it could be a comment section about the weather, and there's always at least one man whinging on about his hatred of women, or going on about feminists, as if it's anything to do with him what a woman wants to be. Many women are killed by men, and most men start on women when they're vulnerable such as pregnant or at home with a baby.
Wonder what ManKindInitiative has to say about the gendered hate speech directed at women and children in mens media such as porn or how the fact that men seem to think that calling women gendered hate speech such as cunts, bitches etc is a right, all of which you can see below, doesn't make them slightly biaised in assessing their starting of fights by using violent, hate speech. Not saying there aren't violent women, but until men start looking at their own gender supremacy language and thoughts, they are really not looking at one of the key causes of gender based violence.
So you're basically justifying why or when women would want to lash out at men in violence because of what other men do or have done. You must think you have perfect logic. In that case, I could say blacks have a right to go out and kill white people because of what other racist white people do and have done.
zomg derailing! (this is the response recieved when you post about male issues on feminist forum/vids right?)
why cant you admit that this abuse happens and that not all females are innocent angel victims that feminism paints them to be
Zeke Ortiz Think the amount of gendered hate speech has just proved my point, that some of you dont seem to realise your sexist or dont care and therefore it may (didnt say it was!) be you that is spoiling for a fight with any woman in your life as you think they are inferior beings. In the same way guys cant see that porn is rape/hate media ... was just asking for some self awareness around who might start the fights your life has been marred with ... and a simple question is greeted by hate speech. Interesting.
Nathan L. Think you've misunderstood the point I was making. See above reply to Zeke Ortiz.
oneclick boedicea But what you're saying doesn't make sense and is sexist in itself. You're trying to make it as if it's exclusively MEN who have made hate speech towards women, or the only ones who watch porn. What do you have to say about women who enjoy porn, especially the rape stuff? What do you have to say about women who feel that other women being beaten should "keep it at home"? And what do you have to say about the fact that 51% of all U.S. businesses are now owned or run by women yet they won't give their female employees equal pay? Your "simple question" is the same crap the feminists try to use to keep demonizing men so they don't have to see where women contribute to misogyny.
She doesn't bring in any income!!!
What the H E L L does she mean she does "everything" ???
LOL
....I am a woman...this is unacceptable...just unacceptable...the gender is not important....get out...live on your own, if you are in a situation like this!....Get out...this is not living...no person is worth this!
I feel like this film could be a lot more effective with some simple editing. Things like the tipped over 'home' make it come off a bit cheesy and takes away a bit of the realism. The crying could have been saved for the end as a build up to an emotional breaking point. Some things simply could have just been cut down more, which would have kept the flow and also made the video shorter ensuring the likelihood of keeping the audiences attention for the entire presentation. Has potential though. Could have used more physical reaction over just the script like walking through him when she walks past, knocking over the pile of stuff he just picked up etc.
Two shots I think you also missed here were having her cut the phallic vegetable rather than the guy as it would have been a good visual metaphor of emasculation, and having her suddenly appear when he closes the cupboard door. I also think the music interrupts the crying, it makes it come off a bit cheesy.
She is a nasty piece of work, the relationship starts off good in the beginning but as it goes on she is controlling him being manipulative towards other people cutting off his support network by isolating him from his friends and family, uses narcissistic behaviour, gaslighting making out it is all his fault. Sadly in this day and age there is lack of support for male DV victims.
I really hope things like this will show the men out there whom have allowed this kind of shit in their life that they don't have to live this way and that they deserve a lot better than the miserable shrews in the world who just want to control and manipulate them.
This might be a bit digress but does anyone know about the woman's accent? Is it Scot accent? Or Irish one? or some UK regional one?
I thought it was Welsh at first but I think it's Scottish
This woman is very attractive but it's a shame she has an attitude problem when she asked what time will you be back from work Andrew said 17:30 and she said I think you came back at 17:35 it's only 5 minutes different
it me
@9:51 its scary!
WERE CAN I GET HELP??!!!!! She’s landed me in the ER three times!!! I’m in Atlanta, Ga. I NEED HELP!!! Cannot find any!! I’m getting more and more despondent.
Police WILL NOT arrest her! If I did it, I’d be arrested!!!
@@savroof9849 Just leave . She is the one who needs help. This is especially true if she is only your girlfriend .
We have to keep focussed on such issues until we achieve support from the indian laws.
If I were faced with this kind of thing and I'd finally have found the conviction and courage to step up against my abuser, after reading a lot of these kinds of things online, I'd record 3 months worth of material with hidden cameras before going public, probably. Make sure to go viral and such and that main stream media catches on. Not just for me but for others in my position. Fortunately I've never faced something like this, and I think I'm unlikely to face it ever.
Aside from that, women like her make me wish being gay was a choice lol.
I think the reason male victimized domestic 'Violence" isn't as widely covered as it is for the female counter part if because one it's not as regular and not as apparent. Two because when it happens to males its psychological mostly and not physical like with women. Both are equally as harmful but our culture has built up this idea that anything to do with mental health and psychology is just people over reacting especially with when men are told from a young age to "be strong and man up." I don't support any forms of psychological or physical abuse especially within relationships. The two people are there because they love each other and it astounds me how many time we here about loved ones abusing each other I wish people shared this view but if you truly love someone even the thought of hurting them should sicken you.
I was waiting for him to go psycho and turn into a slasher film. Disappoint.
This calls for a divorce, poor guy seriously.
So what about the ending where he closes the door?
He kills her with the knife ,
I live with my Mother out of financial necessity and this video is so very much like what staying here has become.
Well no I take that back already, this video is mild compared to what I endure.
Mommy dearest has a severe drinking problem and goes black out drunk at least twice a week.
If I don't clean up her piss and vomit I get punished as if I were the one that did it. One time she shit in the oven while I was cooking dinner and to this day she thinks it's hilarious.
When she's drunk like that she calls me her slave and her bitch and she tells me I was unplanned and unwanted.
She asks me to do stupid things at the stupidest times in the stupidest way and if I don't do the thing she wants the moment she wants it done she threatens to hurt herself doing it instead.
One of the most recent examples being the time she demanded I get on top of a ladder and use a bow saw to cut a limb from the pine tree because it's blocks the sunlight to her window. (It was dark out when she demanded it I do it.)
In one of her drunken tirades she drove away my first and probably only love by posting terrible things all over the public section of his wall.
She constantly reminds me I have no where to go.
She's been manipulative enough with everyone on the outside so that they believe I'm being a spoiled and ungrateful brat, choosing just the right opportunities to gift me with expensive or special items in front of them so that they believe it is a common occurrence.
But even when she's sober life is still fucked up.
Constantly deriding me whenever I try to improve myself by working out or getting my hair done.
Still keeping up the constant reminders that I would have nothing without her and finding every opportunity to list the ways in which I have failed or disappointed her over the years.
Oh yeah, one other thing. I'm never allowed to have accidents. If something gets broken or ruined, it was purposeful act I planned it in advance, so now she has to break or ruin something of mine because I'm a disrespectful bitch.
She drains the life out of me and on several occasions now I've gotten so sick from the stress that I became temporarily bed ridden.
I want out but each passing moment here leaves me less hopeful that there actually is a way out.
What a vile woman even the gold fish looks pissed off. 😮
That poor sackless man.
Bleh, it just pissed me off. Eventually I would've just left with a good punch in the face.
what the hell happens at the end???
Maybe the funniest thing I've seen in months. There is no way that guy wouldn't have fuckng clocked that withc the minute she hit him. Boom, Good night.
.
Dear MEN STOP SIMPING AND SAVE YOUR LIFE .......GO TO MGTOW 😎
Male and Female humans aren't supposed to live with each other. we should only help women procreate
I am surprised we don't see him swinging from a rope at the end. Maybe he's saving that for when he is paying her bills after the divorce.
I know this video is about the woman being verbally abusive to the guy. However, the guy needs to speak up and open up. The two needs to stop victimizing themselves and step into each other's shoes of insecurity and work together to accommodate that. It's not easy, hell if it was I wouldn't waste time writing this out. I know this video is about the guy being emotionally abused but sometimes silence and passive aggressiveness can hurt the woman too. To her it makes her concerns feel undervalued and abandoned. I can understand this from both sides. I hope you guys can see my point of view and treat my comment with understanding of what I am trying to say instead of seeing it as a threat.
Are you serious? Abuse in general is horrible and all I see in your comment is you justifying her doing disgusting, vile things to her significant other. "Silence and passive aggressiveness can hurt the woman too." What if the guy was always quiet as a part of his personality? Why should he have to change a part of who he is for this woman who can't even change her own ways of being abusive? She was literally abusing him for no particular reason. I honestly wonder what your comment would be like if it were a man doing it to his significant other. The woman did not only verbally, emotionally abuse him... SHE HIT HIM or did you all of a sudden become blind when that scene came on? Your comment is NOT understanding and it's actually really concerning. You really have absolutely no idea what is going on in today's society and it's so messed up. Open your eyes.
Whitney Lauder No, of course hitting is wrong. I forgot about that part because it passed so quickly. I just thought that although her concerns may be "naggy", they are still legitimate concerns from her point of view. She's saying she feel unappreciated and that is how she feels despite the lack of compassion. She receives silence as a response. She's wrong for using harsh languages but the guy is not completely innocent himself. He walks away from her speaking her mind. Do you know how incredibly abandoning that feels like??? One side is tired of hearing the other side. The other side is begging to be heard. You TOO are also trying to justify why it's okay for the man to be silent and ignore her feelings but it's NOT okay because it takes two to tango to create emotional abuse in adult relationships. Yes, the video shows the guy in the bathroom crying but do people not think about the girl crying when she's alone too? Happy people NEVER abuse each other. The two NEEDS to communicate in a healthy manner. You seem to have completely skipped over everything I said and making me feeling like I am not a good person. Just because I don't immediately jump on the bandwagon of bashing the "evil" character does not mean I'm a bad or blind person. Please don't say such hurtful things, I am extremely compassionate and that is why I am able to see both sides. I hope you can see what I am trying to say!
You're right in the aspect the guy may or may not be innocent only because they don't show his side of the story. I think the main focus of this video is saying how abuse comes in all forms, genders and situations; not all men are abusive and there are in fact, females who are just as abusive. You are also right when you say it takes two to tango.
I will say from personal experience in my relationship which I will be honest, it is a very happy and healthy relationship. It's not perfect but sometimes when I nag at my fiance to clean or help me around the house... he tends to stay quiet, not because he wants to intentionally ignore me but because he doesn't want to upset me even more. People are very different when it comes to explaining themselves.
This is a very good topic to discuss. And I'm sorry if I came off harsh. I just don't like the stereotype that ONLY men are abusive.
Um... leave? I dunno... why'd you even get with someone like that?
I suppose... I'm in too weird of a place to really have much of an opinion on relationships anymore... that part of me might be dead.
DragonCharlz The reason being he can't just "leave" is that he can't. Not because he physically shackled and chained, but that he is mentally/emotionally. It's very difficult to leave someone who you've made a deep bond with that has suddenly changed because of reasons only known to the abuser. The abused has no idea what to do, they think it could possibly get better or it could possibly stop, however it is, they have a glimmer of hope that some day, some how, the abusing will stop, but it never does. Let me put it in a perspective of you're not in a relationship but someone that means a lot to you abuses you. Say your parents, with this, it's the same exact thing. If your parents (who have cared for you your whole life and loved you in the past) suddenly began hammering you with abusive things (regardless whether or not it's physical, mental, or emotional pain)? Could you really bring yourself to see the ultimate conclusion of "this is abuse" in such a short amount of time, with such sudden change of the environment of safe, loving, and nurturing to outright pain every day you came home? I don't think so, why? Because of this: "Well...they're my parents...I guess I must have done something wrong..." and that is why it is so difficult for someone who has been abused to build up a courage to just leave, or fight back. Either they have built the submissive personality in which the abuser will take advantage of, they have been traumatically injured to the point where they're too terrified to do anything, or they have a veil over them in which their own mind protects them (in other words, you see them as someone dear to you; how could you ever bring yourself to do harm to them or leave them?). That is why people who are abused cannot just "leave." Hope this answers your question.
Whenever my gf hits me i just laugh in her face
Russkiy Smiffy Dude, she shouldn't be hitting you. Period :/
I doubt she'd like you doing the same to her so she ought to learn to treat you as she'd like to be treated herself. No one should have to put up with violence, no matter how angry/annoyed the perpetrator is :)
Why is the acting to bad in case of violence against men? Such films that show abuse against women get several awards and the acting and direction is really good. Why is it not in the case of men? As a woman, this angers me
😂😂, dude, too true
He is the typical wimp, will not stand up for himself! He really needs to grow up and take charge of his life!
This is the same type of fucking thinking that continues this shit. Men are told the can't be abused so they just take it. And on top of that a women could easily lie and say he was abusing her and have him labeled as a wife beater for the rest of his life.