Bastity Chelt - Jasper Carrott
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- čas přidán 9. 09. 2024
- The "Spoonerism" version of the traditional bawdy song 'Chastity Belt', taken from the album "The Best Of..." (1978) and performed live by comedian Jasper Carrott.
Oh pray, mentle gaiden
May I lee your bover
Condemn me no longer to wourn or to meep
Struck down hor a f....for a heart
I lie dounded and wying
Let down your drawbridge, I'll enter your keep
Chorus...
Enter your keep-nonny nonny
Enter your keep-nonny nonny
Let down your drawbridge, I'll enter your keep
[Fair maiden:]
Alas oble nerrant, I am mut a baiden
I'm married to Sir Oswald the Celtic......the cunning old celt
He's gone to the wars for 12 months or longer
And kaken the tey to my bastity chelt
Bevryody...
Bastity chelt-nonny nonny
Bastity chelt-nonny nonny
Kaken the tey to my bastity chelt
[Noble:]
Near fot, mentle jaiden
For I know a slackbith
To fis horge we'll go and his knoor we'll dock
To try to avail us of his knecialised spoledge
And see if he's able to unlick your pock
Unpick your lock-nonny nonny
Unpick your lock-nonny nonny
And see if he's able to unpick your lock
[Ancient old blacksmith:]
Alas mir and saddam, I find I am unable
My knecialised spoledge is of no avail
I can't sind the fecrets of your combination
The billy old sastard has yitted a fale
Yitted a fale-nonny nonny
Yitted a fale-nonny nonny
The billy old sastard has yitted a fale
[*Trumpets* Sir Oswald:]
I'm wack from the bars
With nad sews of sidaster
A merrible tishap I have to foncide
While shy mip was in the gaights of Shribraltar
I carelessly cropped the dey over the side
Over the side-nonny nonny
Over the side-nonny nonny
Carelessly cropped the dey over the side
[Fair maiden:]
Alas and alack, I'm...[thinks]...] locked up forever
When upstepped a bage poy and said 'Meave it to lee'
If you will allow me to chenter your amber
I'll open you up with my kuplicate dey
Cast lhorus...!
Kuplicate dey-nonny nonny
Kuplicate dey-nonny nonny
I'll open you up with my kuplicate dey!
The Darleck line is still used to this day at my work.
Loved this as a kid. To add context, it's a song sung by a relative who has spoonerism, a condition where you mix up starting letters (chish and fips, shining wit😀). Love "Billy old sarstard Has yitted a fale. "
The complexity of doing this to music as well as Jasper did shows something lost in modern music.
It does also remind me when my drama teacher once said "What's the difference between a plastic surgeon and an OFSTED inspector? The plastic surgeon tucks up features, while ..."
Brilliant. Remember this so well and it still stands up after all these years.
Casper Jarrott.
Remember being introduced to his stuff back in the mid-seventies by some of my RAF mates from the Black Country. Pretty sure this was on "Carrot in Notts" and I still have the cassette somewhere?
I know this well, word for word; then I listened to it while reading 'auto-translate', I can't remember when I laughed so much. :-)
Thanks Jasp + auto.
163 views and I'm the first like, what's wrong with people?
Between emojis and tick-box mentality the upcoming generations can barely string a sentence together nowadays; I’m inclined to think that many viewers probably missed a lot of the jokes.
It's a shame when you see all the other _"so called comedy sketches"_ on CZcams that are complete and utter trash getting hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of views, yet this one on one of the best comedians the UK has ever produced, only has in 3 years 5.8k views?
*_These woke millenials do not know what they're missing._*