It's better to be alone than wish you were
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- čas přidán 12. 06. 2024
- If one’s experiences with others have been hurtful and traumatizing repeatedly, isn’t it to be expected that this individual begins to prefer solitude over company?
Video: It's better to be alone than wish you were
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00:00 Introduction
01:14 The appeal of solitude
04:38 A solitary philosophy
09:00 Better alone
#solitude #alone #loneliness
What i hate the most about being with other people is that it makes me feel fake. Only when i am alone can i be my true self.
So true. I hate the fake smile I need to put-on to keep my job safe. It comes natural to me and I'm so not proud of it, but have to live with it.
Can't remember the last time I had a genuine interaction with somebody. It sucks
@@Riven0x havent you got no mates to do things with?? you can have genuine interactions with people every minute of everyday, by just being you, thinking with your heart, show genuine interest in what others say, feeling unconditional love for everyone you meet, like the love you have for your family, deep down we are all brothers and sisters just trying to make the best of things, not alowing toxic things into your life/head, i live in bobs bubble detached from the norm i dont really know whats going on in the world, but i know everything going on in my bubble, take control its NEVER to late to make a new start,,,love and contentment from Liverpool UK,XXXX
@@Riven0x hopefully now u have, we are to quick to think there are no real people left in the world because we are surrounded by fake social media and plastic smiles in life, but trust me, there are real people left in the world, we tend to keep to ourselves because of the way society works, but real recognizes real. We are everywhere, you just have to look.
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Solitude is addictive. Once you learn to enjoy your own company, there is no better thing to achieve peace.
I agree 100%.
Agreed. It is almost intoxicating.
I gave up relationships to better learn to love myself. Now I cannot stand being in relationships because I respect myself and my wishes too much to compromise on them for others.
It’s the truth
Yes, nothing quite like staying in on the weekend. Bright white light pouring in through the patio door, a good historical novel, and a hot, steamy cup of coffee are the perfect recipe for peace and bliss. The only noise is perhaps the white noise of the dishwasher in the background.
"Better alone rather than badly accompanied."
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Better well accompanied than alone!
4 sure 💯
Spot on
Try my ex wife and you will be both, alone, and badly accompanied 😊
As someone who enjoys solitude and has tried to be more social, I can say that as soon as you reach a certain level of solitude and peace of mind, you don't want to go back.
I completely agree.
👍👍👍
Whenever I thought I felt lonely, I tried to socialize more, only to be reminded afterwards why I like being alone
People are annoying
@@DexterMorgan-sd4jx true
"Being Alone Is Better than being Ignored"
Being alone is better than being abused (in any of the forms that abuse can manifest).
@@zenosgrasshopperor used,or manipulated
I do agree
@zenosgrasshopper that's the truth and I can testify to this being verbally abused by a toxic ex girlfriend and been single ever since(this year makes it 5 years)
If everyone is ignoring you it's probably a YOU problem, not everyone else...
“ Loneliness is the pain of being alone. Solitude is the glory of being alone.” - Paul Tillich
I just flew in from Pittsburgh and boy are my arms tired. Daffy duck.
So true
I find people are a perpetual source of pain for me. Solitude is my freedom.
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Same, I tried to be the social type. It wasn't for me. the quiet is the most freeing thing I have ever felt.
Check out 'attachment theory' in psychology. That explained to me why some people are painful to deal with! Humans tend to attract, (& be attracted to) the people we are most incompatible with. Is well worth spending some time checking out.
I spend 3 months in a hotel in winter, at times some of the guests can make it
unbearable.
Many avoidently attached humans here. Yea it’s your parents lack of nurturing and/the smothering of a child that can produce this. (It’s your problem now so heal it so you can stop blaming everyone else in the world for your inability to handle humans simply being human…ironically most of us deal with people like you as well as we can as most avoidantly attached are covert narcissists and HIGHLY unaware of it)
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone". Quote from Robin Williams.
Yup rest in peace to him
Nobody can make you feel anything….not a smart quote really…
@@mmilanovicnot a smart reply, either.
My ex-in-laws made me feel that way. Made me feel like air, like I don't exist, looking past me. I tell you, it's hell.
You’re over thinking it. If you’re alone, you’re alone
Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. I have experienced enough drama due to others. I now chose to 'only' associate with others during shared interests
I love the fact that you didn’t mention being a loner, because it’s frustrating to hear that coming from social beings. “Humans”
Agreed 👍
I’m never lonely when I’m alone, I’m only lonely when I’m in a big group.
@@samuricexful I relate
Absolutely.
“Social interaction has a price” great talk my friend
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
@@VeganSemihCyprus33 vegan, I will be sure to do so 😅
❤ agreed, thanks 🙏
EVERYTHING has its price and its pleasure. This is nothing new
social interaction is a path not a price. thank you.
I retired and had to pull away from people. Working with them for 45 years was stressful and depressing. When I retired people kept asking me "are you going to volunteer?" "are you going to travel?" I just want to be away from people. That's all. I don't want to be in crowds of tourists and volunteering just means more people without being paid for it.
I understand.
People exhaust me. I am retired too and feel very much the same way you do!
"Life sucks then you die."😊
No no no
Being around makes life suck😅
Once you keep them away life is pretty good.
Peace to you and your solitude.
✌️🙏🙌
I semi-retired 19 years ago. After two years I got into all sorts of groups, volunteer work, two live-in boyfriends. I had a very busy 13 years. Beginning in the pandemic I reclaimed the solitude that attracted me to this rural spot. Now I only relate with a few very close friends and family.
I recently retired and love solitude and being alone. I completely understand what you are feeling!
I feel more loneliness when I'm socializing with others too long. A short appearance, then back to my peaceful and happy solitary life
I've been married, divorced, and in multiple long and short-term relationships. Even in the "good" reltionships, there's *ALWAYS* a point where I wish I was alone again. A couple of years ago when I reached 40, I realized solitude is just healthier for me. Being raised an only child kind of set me up for it.
When I look at all the drama other people deal with when it comes to relationships, family, and friends, it just reinforces my decision.
Indeed
Being an only kid, in your childhood and early youth, it makes you believe that you need company to not get bored and be happy, because you grew up without siblings.
Unfortunately a lot of adults who were only kids, still believe that they need to have people around to be happy and they get just in trouble after trouble
I knew ever since middle school that I was born a loner and each time I entered a social group I had my better self telling me, "you need no one else, you've been alone before, they need others to survive". just wish I didn't waste all my time trying to hold those relationships when in reality no one gives two shits, only the your inner self matters\cares.
But, Do you ever feel like you’re missing out? Like despite the drama they bring, you look back at those memories fondly?
@@555reaper it depends what kind of person you're, in my case, I don't need people and I don't like people, to be honest.
Even if those moments in the past were "fond", I always felt something annoying around those people.
At age 26, when I found a goal I wanted to achieve in life, I realized that people are time - wasters and most of them are extremely dumb
If you've never been in a relationship you may fall into the trap of romanticing and idealizing it too much. You may even start to fell disgust for your state of single man or woman. Instead, the moment you start to experience what is a relationship "in reality", you discover that there are pros and cons, like almost everything. Expecially if you have suffered because of a toxic partner, you start considering solitude as a peaceful state, rather than lonely situation.
Thank you for the comment. I as a 19 year old do feel that I romanticize it too much, especially seeing other people around me being in relationships. Keeping the reality check helps me appreciate my situation a lot more. This not only applies to relationships, but any other endeavours in life. Remembering that anything has downsides too helps calm down the desire/idealization of what you desire.
This is so true and me being that I have been in 3 total relationships in my life and I'm 24, really says a lot and two of those were toxic(basically the last two) and I been single ever since. I kid you not, it was the best thing that has ever happened. Gained my happiness back, no longer felt depressed and wanting to delete myself, more healthier than ever, and the amount of peace I have gained that I never experienced ever in my life is amazing. Being alone was and still is the best thin that has ever happened to me
Agree 💯
@@jaysouthmusic8230 I feel the same, it hurts to lose the person but not as much as losing yourself. And you get an immense amount of peace that I wouldn’t change for anything right now
Yeah, women will switch their emotions for you on and off, and it can hurt that's for sure.
Been a hermit for the last year. I only interact with people every 6-8 weeks, when I go into town for supplies. It’s been a great time.
Solitude is underestimated..
I must say, I am quite envious of you. I wish I had the means to live in a quiet spot of the countryside as a hermit, with only a faithful dog as a companion.
I'm happier when I'm alone. I love solitude. I value inner peace, inner joy, self-reflection, healing, self-love, self-development, self-mastery, self transcendence, freedom. I feel that I don't belong to this world. I'm allergic to humans. And I think most humans don't like me too. But it's ok, I've learned to love and accept myself. This is my last incarnation on Earth. 🙏🧚♀💖🍀🌹
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Same. Enjoy!
❤️🌴🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴☠️
The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.
Henrik Ibsen
How do you know this is your "last incarnation", is there solid proof or just based on beliefs?
❤ agreed, thanks 🙏
My social life was rife with betrayal, backstabbing, gossip, lies, cheating, hearsay, arguments, he said she said, fights, users, opportunists, liars and the demoralization of my spirit and mental state.
Wow, this all sounds familiar to me.
It has been the same for me. Now I'm 50 years old and alone. Absolutely alone
@@idaloup6721 I am too. I'd like to reach out you. I don't know how. When I open up and express my thoughts and feelings CZcams shuts me down.
Basically the same story here. What ultimately drove me to seek solitude was the fact that, whenever I countered the lies and nonsense of others, I was repeatedly gaslighted, ostracised and shamed. I went through a phase of doubting myself, thinking that maybe I was the problem and consequently presenting a passive, diluted version of my self to the world.
Breathe ... breathe in the air! Give thanks to the beauty of creation and have empathy for those who are living in a 'low energy state' .. by this you truely rise above and become closer to Life's Source when you slow down and just be.
I love being alone and not having friends. It is just simple, way less BS.
It is🎉🎉🎉
❤❤❤❤❤
Amen, man.
Powerful: "In solitude, we find the strength we thought we needed from others." 🙌🏼
Hi
When we learn to be alone artfully, we no longer use other people as an escape.
Also not to use youtube / video games as an escape.
@@agogleuser7619You are absolutely right
honestly; I have come to really enjoy my own company more than the company of others these days
Yes I think of it like every second infinite possibilities. Completely free. You only have one life and you should take advantage of this situation
Ey nice truck in your my dude
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
keep telling yourself that cope, lonely man
It's probably because you're a phony when you're around other people and it's too much effort to keep that persona up and you tire out, so you're like "Nah, I'm just gonna be myself today" every day and avoid people. you should learn to be yourself and people will like you (not everyone) and in return you will start liking people. It's very unhealthy to isolate yourself.
I've dealt with people in a business capacity for 25 years now and I can see how shallow, petty, selfish, userous, mean spirited, gossiping, and ungrateful they really are. No good deed goes unpunished in this life. I learned this early on. The only people that are not so horrible are friends I've known for all long time. All I want is to retire and be away from this human garbage that I have to endure to make a living.
I feel like I have been a loner since birth - it's the place I feel most content, most myself. I think it's an incredible blessing to be comfortable with one's solitude - it frees you from dull obligations and because you don't fear loneliness, you don't get involved in relationships simply for the sake of 'having' someone. Solitude is the ultimate liberation. I can truly say I am never more happy than when I am alone in pure quiet, reading, writing or just thinking. It's bliss.
Being alone is a power that only a few master. I'm not lonely, I find being alone to be enriching. I've been alone 99% of the time for decades and love it. The fact that people need social contacts does not apply, at least in my case.
Indeed🎉
keep telling yourself that cope, lonely man
@@marathon01 I'm not lonely.
@@marathon01lol wtf
@@marathon01 Something a lonely person would say lol.
When I'm alone, I have an honest and loving companion, namely myself. There is no room for arguments, dominance and aggression. Anyone who has experienced this and understood it deeply will find every day a miracle for them.❤
There was a time, when I tried so hard to socialise and fit in. But then I realized I have all the treasure within myself. I don't need anybody else to make me complete. I finally was able to find happiness.
Not everyone can do that. It’s fantastic that you’re able to do that.
Me and you both man
I love being on my own. No rules.
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Indeed
What a lovely surprise to discover how unlonely being alone can be.
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Yes indeed😮
@@VeganSemihCyprus33where?
The worst loneliness is when you are surrounded by people.
Extroverts suck up energy.
For introverts and those whom you are not connect with
@@marknewton6984 they really do
The worst loneliness is when your solitude is invaded by people.
@@marknewton6984 thats not a intro nor extrovert thing, beeing surounded be artificial people suck your energy away, I'm often on a party and find myself in that spot, I can drink myself out of that discomfort but thats not really a solution, beeing surounded by the wrong cast is just draining
I have realized one thing. It is better to be alone than with bad company. I only have very minute friends and they are scattered around...but we built a strong sense of respect. That is true value in my opinion. Society is just out of control.
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Yes🎉
Grooovy😏
You are never completely alone for long. One goes to the grocery store, the gas station, work, gym, etc. I am single and live alone and I love it. I was married before for a little over nine years with no children. That fulfilled any wish I had to want the experience of being married. Now, I enjoy the peaceful life of being single. I play tennis and basketball, so I socialize while playing sports. Life is good; I am happy and at peace.
"When you're alone, do you call it loneliness? Or do you call it freedom?"
with the shit i've seen? the latter
Exactly @@Aki-kh2qe-StreetKidZZZ
FREEDOM
🇺🇸
In two years, the USA will be 250 years old ... hopefully all of our generations will come together on the true meaning of freedom 😂
This is a really good take on it. I’ve been alone for most of my adult life and mostly by choice. I’m almost 39 and have no kids and have never been married because I never wanted to do that. Being able to do what I want to do my own way is priceless. I love the peace and quiet and living at my own pace.
I totally agree with you and I am 78 with no regrets
👍👍👍
I've noticed there's a growing hostility towards this sort of lifestyle in society, from both sides of the political spectrum and I really don't understand why... On the right you've got figures like Matt Walsh and Jordan Peterson openly shaming people for choosing not to get married or have kids, or telling them they're wrong and immature for feeling that way. Then on the left you've got feminist activists and the media branding men misogynists for opting out of dating and romantic relationships.
It baffles me first of all that these people see it as any of their business, but also why do they even care about other people's private lives?
It could be good if you’re alone and have a fair amount of money. Being alone and broke is another animal.
You are missing the best of life
For In solitude, we find the strength we thought we needed from others.
-my new life motto
My happiest time in my life was during the lockdown of 2020. Peace was awesome.
Made no difference to me.
I was extremely happy during the 2020 Lockdown as well. One of the pinnacles of my life. Meanwhile many others were dealing with depression and a plethora of mental issues. I felt blessed.
Ahhhh yes, the quiet! I didn't like the people dying part but loved everything else about it. It's when I discovered my lone wolf nature.
I worked in a hospital during Covid . Visitation was suspended. The hospital was a “ghost town.” I functioned better during that period . I think it’s why I like apocalyptic movies.
Did not affect my lifestyle at all.
I find that most people love inviting chaos into their lives that will obviously cause them problems. As I got older, I kept thinking about why I would want to have friends that constantly make dumb decisions and then depend on me to help them out of it while I'm also dealing with my own life. No thanks. I've been "alone" for like 7 years now, and I am afraid to actually make any friends at all because of the multiple times I've had to deal with other people's problems.
I stress to anyone who will listen - "The quickest, easiest, and most effective way to simplify your life is to mind your own fucking business".
Don't participate in any gossip; don't speak about those absent, and don't entertain any talk about others.
me and you both I use to be that listening ear type of friend when it came to other people's problems but when it comes to me the total opposite and I was fed up and when I was at my very lowest that's when every one that so called "loved" me left me hanging and I was by myself. But it was a blessing in disguise looking back at it
You've made a great decision!
Honestly this is EXACTLY how I feel, I don’t give a shit about other people’s bullshit and it seems like that is all people have to offer just their problems and insecurities to push onto you and bring you into their drama and bullshit.
The worst loneliness is being surrounded by people or being with someone you're unable to communicate with.
"The best company is that of our own." [OSCAR WILDE]
Never felt more lonely than when in the company of others.
Since I got older I chose to spend my time alone in my spare time and I love it. No fake people, no drama, no backstabbing (only now at work, which is unfortunately unavoidable, as mentioned in the video, it's not the work, it's the co-workers). In my spare time I ONLY meet the ones I care for/or vice versa. I'm so grateful for those few people and my parents 🙏 Time is a valuable curreny. And in my honest opinion we should all try to be alone once in a while, it makes one independent and strenghten us. Thank you dear Einzelgänger 🙏
Time is not a currency, it's the most valuable constantly diminishing, non-replenishable, non-transferrable commodity that nobody to a person knows how much they were granted or have remaining.
After a 30-year career, 2 marriages, 4 kids and a lot of travelling around the world, I just love living and being alone, and adore the solitude, in my older age. I just pray my health holds up.
Well, tbh you shouldn't fear death much. Better accept that it will happen at some point then denying or fearing. You won't even realise it when it's done. Or if you have faith then you'll be in a better place. I think of death like an escape of this world, and perhaps a opening to something greater. ❤
I thoroughly enjoy being single and don't ever plan on being in a relationship again. I can flirt with whoever I want, meet up with whoever I want, desire whatever & whoever I want, watch as much TV as I want. Do whatever I want all the time. Sleep as I want, wake as I want, eat what I want. Think for myself and have agency over my own life and decisions while planning my future. Looking forward to my future and all the good things to come based around- you guessed it Me! 😂
You not lying and not have to worry about another toxic person wasting your time either and taking you forgranted. Been single since 19 and im 24 now best thing I ever did was staying single after a toxic ex gf treated me badly
In many cases people don't want to be alone, they just don't want to be around the people available to them.
That's the tricky part though. In order to find like-minded people you would have to participate in socializing activities, knowing that the odds are against you and that you are likely to have a miserable time trying. I struggled with this in my twenties.
@@maurices5954you're not truly content with being alone if you're looking for people to be around.
@@dboi4952 Agreed. Like i said, i struggled with this in my twenties. I held a different view then where i would often wonder what was wrong with me through the eyes of how others perceived me. Since then i went through the journey of discovering my true self and eventually realized that to live life second-handed was contradictory and detrimental to my own personal happiness.
I still think that connecting with like-minded people could add to my happiness, but it is no longer a goal that i aspire to obtain, if it happens, great, if not, nothing is lost since you can't lose what you never had to begin with.
Its very different for men then for woman
If you're a loner, you also have to become self-sufficient and transform from a complainer to somebody that finds solutions.
For me, the worst people to be around are the people that constantly complain about the same thing and have no interest in finding a solution, so they constantly turn around in the same circle.
The second worst are the people that can't listen and always want to talk about themself.
currently alone, no gf, no kids, living in a studio, my career is good. Discovered someone I saw as a friend gossips and is critical of me behind my back, I have stopped association. Left a nagging, ungrateful, ill tempered, ill attitude gf. "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome partner". Working on my spirituality, have become more grateful, simplistic, in touch with nature, exercise daily and have better sleep.
I’m currently in a bad state of mind with a sh!t load of stress. Been suffering with bad insomnia for 2 months now :(
It’s just a fact of life that most people aren’t worth knowing or interacting with. People spend most of their lives trying to convince themselves that this is not the case, with varying degrees of success.
What if you're scared of being someone not worth knowing or being interacted with?
Good morning
Handsome Dutchman
Your videos are always refreshing and validate my aloneness.
After a daily diet of so called Spiritual Awareness teachers here in CZcamsLand who stress LOVING EVERY other Human Being at all times, I come to your videos and get to breath deeply once again.
After so much pain at the hands of other ppl it actually goes against my solitary nature to only love and forgive all the time.
You help me feel ok again after so many others tend to make me feel guilty for not being a 'People Person'.
Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts. ❤ & Peace
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
People don’t understand that not everyone is a people person. You’re still a person.
Alone but
never lonely.
Solitude =
stress free living.
I am 60 and finally divorced,kids all gone and totally life by myself. Just love it , I basically spend about 10 hours a week socializing with family and friends over a few beers on the weekends and look forward to going home and being alone with my dog, property and enjoying quiet with a few beers and whatever I want to do or eat !!!
Being alone helps you find a deeper meaning of self. After that, other people's company, and the traditions and trappings accompanying it are extremely shallow. I actually enjoyed my own company while very young. Being around other people always made me tired and constantly finding compromises meant I was never my true self.
It's so great to hear that more people like me exist in this world, I'm grateful for your existence and comment. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who prefers being alone over company, I guess like-minded people are rare to find at the places I don't like to be at. Where can I find someone like you?
I love being a Lone 🐺 ❤
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
You’re not alone in that😐
"When I'm alone there's never a problem. When I'm with people there's always a problem"
Very true comment I read somewhere on CZcams
OMG I have been looking for channels like this one for soooo long. I thought I was crazy and weird but now I know I am not alone.
I spent nearly 3 months alone for the most part. My wife was working and in school and I was at home with a broken leg. After watching all of the Netflix and CZcams videos I could manage, I was more or less left with my own thoughts. It changed me greatly and is actually when I found this channel as well as quite a bit of philosophy in general
I'm schizoid and I can't stand being around people. It doesn't give me any pleasure or satisfaction, it's draining, tiring, burdensome. Most of them are loud, needy, insecure, fake, judgemental.
I prefer other animals like cats - much more civilized, calm, quiet, self sufficient. There's authenticity and joy in animals, no theatrics, no egos.
😊 ✌
The more I know people
the better I love my cat.
THAT! I can fully understand what you're saying.
Just me and my beautiful doggies till the end!
there is an elegance and nobility in cats which most humans lack significantly
@@thedragonofthewest5789
👌
Travelling solo and especially to natural parks makes you the rhinoceros in peaceful solitude.
If you want a great relationship with someone else, you have to first have one with yourself.
Be happy when you're alone, then find someone who makes your life even better in as many ways as possible.
One time, I finished my college lectures early, so I decided to spend some time alone. I put my phone on do not disturb and airplane mode, then I went to the bookstore. I did not find the books I wanted, but as usual, I could not leave without buying books. I bought some books, then I went to buy some clothes alone. I felt hungry so I decided to go to the restaurant. I sat in a corner and ate alone. People were staring at me, but I didn't care. After that, I went for a little walk in the public park. I saw a young boy selling chocolate bars. I bought 10 from him, then gave him one of them. Then I watched the sunset while wearing headphones while listening to my favorite songs. Then I went back to the student housing. When I came back, my roommates scolded me and told me where I had been all day. They called me a lot, but I didn't answer their calls. They said they were very worried because I wasn't used to being late for this long. I knew they were lying. They were just curious about me, so I told them that I I didn't have to tell them where I was or what I did, but I just spent some time alone and then I gave them chocolate bars because I'm allergic to chocolate. It was a really wonderful day.
The book he's talking about Jean-Jacques Rousseau is "Reveries of the Solitary Walker" (Les Rêveries du promeneur solitaire). It's been published short after he died and it's wonderful. Very short, very easy to read. Rousseau never expected it to be read by someone else so it's very personal. He's talking about his last years, being alone, appreciating the nature and his walks. He said he was hated by all the people of Paris he gave so much love to and he was sad about it. The first page is very powerful and overall, it is very touching. I recommend, 100%. :)
Thank you - I will. Rousseau solitude, as a consistent theme, and was in fact a Luddite ; he was wary of the ills of technological advancement and the ills that it might bring, instead, preferring a simpler, more nature filled life. Sounds good to me.
Thanks for this book recommendation. Sound very interesting. I feel a bit like him (a tiny bit in comparison, I'm sure), where I have put energy into friendships and helped other people and (I thought) been (most of the time) a good friend to them and have people who have dropped me. It's a blind spot on my part, clearly. But it is difficult to take when I have helped some of these friends with certain things and it isn't reciprocated (even just in some small way).
Yeah we give and give sometimes and get nothing back. It can wear on you. Someone really has to extend themselves to me for me to give more than a nod if that.
I love being alone and spending my alone-time sufficiently like how it helps me to generally be more positively selective about my companionships.
Same here and it shows me I never have to settle for less again when it comes to friendships and relationships
I`ve lived most of my life alone. I don`t feel lonely. Solitude is sweet.
"When nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness?" - Charles Bukowski
I could stand up right now and pack a bag, set the alarm and walk out the door and not return for two weeks. When I return, everything is exactly where I left it, nobody questions where I've been, nor do they doubt my my response.
Free as free gets.
@@ilovestitchit's fine brother. But imagine living a life alone like this for 50-60years. No one to ask how was your day. No one to give you a hug when your day goes very bad. No one to calm you in your anxiety, sleepless nights. Life is not always same. We won't be self sufficient always.
@@droid6759 Without other people around me, I don't have those bad days or anxious, sleepless nights. For me people are the cause of this...
I've lived alone for almost 20 years already and still doing fine...
For some, it's "loneliness", for others "freedom".
@@ilovestitch That holds up if you don't have to work. Or at least work around other people. Or work a job where something could go wrong.
I enjoy living by myself and with my animals. And at times, I also enjoy connecting with people... what this gives me is the choice to interact when I want to. It's the best of both worlds ❤
I dislike how people frame those who want to be alone, e.g. in relationships, as being selfish or immature. Maybe not total and permanent isolation, but everyone needs some space and alone time for a healthy balance
You cannot be selfish if you are alone. There is no one to be selfish to. Selfishness is a social construct, related to others. You can be alone and generous to others. Solitude doesn't imply hating others either. I wish the best to others, help them when I can, and return to my solitude when I'm done.
People who are critical of being alone are AFRAID of being alone.
I live in a 19’ travel trailer and maintain a private primitive campground surrounded by mountains, lakes and bike trails. No one comes here. I spend 4-5 hours walking, running, weeding, and cutting grass every morning; the afternoon running errands; and the evening reading, writing, and listening to violin. There is never a moment where I feel like there’s something else I should be doing, because if it thought I should be doing something I WOULD be doing it. I’ve learned that a thing you enjoy is only stupid or pointless or a waste of time in someone else’s view - not your own.
So cut them out of your life and don’t worry about it… 🤘😤🤘
How you get income then?
@@amaze-on07 I worked for twenty years and lived in a camper. So I made it; now I have it.
You describe being alone perfectly, thank you! Peace
Solitude is beautiful, being able to be locked in a room 24/7 with someone who you’ve come to love, is just as beautiful. Friends are rare and sometimes seeking them out only leads to time that could have been better spent elsewhere.
especially if there's a group of them that tend to gaslight you and trick you into believing that you are things that you are not and have you question your entire self and existence. Hell even associates are like that most of the time, I prefer to be, will be and die completely alone
Sit in nature and observe it: you will never feel alone
For me, solitude is a place of harmony that gives me strength to achieve my goals.
I work and study and have to deal with various type of people but in the end of the day i can always return to my fortress of solitude.
I do socialize with people but on my own terms because my inner thoughts and private life in general belongs only to me and it's my choice whether I deicide to share it or not.
I have been following your channel for a while. Your content speak so much to me and to where I am in life and it is unique in how it doesn't try to sell me any idealistic philosophies but rather just share genuine thoughts. From my heart, a deep thank you 🙏
I've been on both sides: alone and among people yet in loneliness. Both are harsh. The balance you were talking about is exactly what I'm striving for now but it's a tightrope-walking-exercise. Loved your video, it came at exactly the right time.
Great point Two Dudes!!
It sounds like a lot of effort, it's worth it who knows. In my case I have already withdrawn from people, 30 years of disappointments are more than enough for me, no matter how difficult it may to be alone.
@@Agathon255 Depends on the person as well, i'm sure!
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Yes, whilst I think I'm a loner, I still find interaction with others positive and after all, no one is truly an island. I just have to be selective and careful about how I do it, while remaining "Roussaein" in my core.
I feel this video so strongly! Thank you for making it! A lot of my friends recently think I'm a little crazy because I'm doing a 3 1/2 week journey through Germany in September all by myself. They seem to think I'm depressed or what not but I just really love the idea of being able to go somewhere that I've never been before and do whatever I want whenever I want.
Also not to be cliche about it but I find that the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the more comfortable I am around others.
Hope you have a wonderful time!
I hate when people think like that and it shows that they can't be alone and happy by themselves
I just don't do drama so being alone makes for a much happier and more peaceful existance 😅
I know this channel serves its purpose and it used to bring me such comfort. But the truth is after 14 years of spending most of my time alone I've come realise the harm it's done to me. People always let you down, but I expect that and still find I have more fun doing pretty much nothing with somebody I like than doing anything at all on my own. A conversation is more fun to me than reading is nowadays. I'd rather talk about music than actually listen to it. Everything from deep conservations to mindless chatter, as long as it flows and there is rhythm, it's just intoixacting to me now.
You are the few Enzelganger who keeps telling us , we should be satisfied in our alone state. I take inspiration from you as I journey along singly. Please bring out more content on how not to be afraid of taking this path alone.Thanks.
I agree with this.
When I had friends I always seemed to always disappoint them. No matter what I did to be good for them. I always end up disappointing them. I give up.
Can't disappoint anyone if I'm alone.
Having superficial conversations about their own lives over expensive meals was getting old.
Even if my apartment is a "complete mess!" to others, im happy with how it is, and happy with how i take care of it. Being alone is the best.....
The weird thing is walking in a bustling city with millions of other people almost gives me the same inner peace as walking alone in the woods. However, small towns and villages where everyone knows each other, that's hell for me :D
Guys just remember: Whenever you feel lonely, just put your own life into perspective/comparison. I mean you could be blind your whole life so you wish to be able to see. You could be starving somewhere on this planet so you wish to have something to eat. As long as your own fate is better than others, there is no reason to complain.
-> Are you more or less healthy? If yes, there you go. That alone is a reason to be perfectly happy, since not everyone is healthy. We can't have everything and a perfect life only exists in fairytales so just focus on the things YOU do have compared to others and value them accordingly.
Oki yes😮
You lost me at faith. Buddhism is about seeing things as they are, not as we wish as in faith. There is no faith in Buddhism.
@@Wayne10160 Thanks, totally missed that. Obviously I meant 'fate'.
I went travelling around Australia for several weeks in 2019 completely alone going from place to place, speaking to people here and there wherever I went. LEARN to become your own best friend, and look after yourself as if you were your best friend, and you will learn that you only really need you. Listening to good music on your headphones is nice too :)
The emptiest souls seek to be filled by others.
If Im around the right people and can fully be myself, I really enjoy my socializing. Ive come to realize being alone is the only thing I can do to fully recharge from socializing and be able to clearly think. Im a singer-songwriter. So having as much alone time as possible is very important to me to focus on my writing, recording, and live performances. Remember people. Being alone doesnt mean you're lonely. I can feel lonely in a crowd of people especially when everyone is on their dumb-phones. Being a musician is the perfect lifestyle for me bc I can be alone in the middle of nowhere working on my music, then when Im performing, I get tons of socializing in whether its through playing in front of people or schmoozing after the performance.
Einzelganger's best video. It is wonderful.
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
I'm truly grateful for the timing of this video and the knowledge obtained by just simply listening. Thank you. 🙏❤
Much needed video😢
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
It's nice to have the independence and freedom of not needing other people to make me happy. Me + Nature in combination is more than enough to be able to do that.
Give me a beautiful landscape/sunset over a beautiful person any day of the week. The former doesn't go about judging & controlling you, whereas the latter more often than not does...if not initially, eventually...
I thoroughly enjoy being with people, in a limited capacity. When I attend a social event or gathering, I immerse myself in the experience. I seek out not only those people I know well, but also those I may have only met once before, and I enjoy meeting new people. But if I had to guess the ratio of time with people versus time spent alone where I am most comfortable, I would place it somewhere at 90/10 or 95/5 with the larger number representing time alone. I don't find being with people draining, as I actually feel invigorated to some degree being with other people. What I experience is that I am quickly satiated being with people, and once I leave a social event, I have no desire to socialize again for quite some time. Sort of, "Ok, that was fun! I'm good now."
This was one of my top 3 videos from you man. WOW. Hit home, right in soul this one ❤️ 💯
Thank you for creating.
The more you're able to be alone, the more at Peace you are with yourself.
If you're alone, without distractions, you have to face yourself head-on, no escape, no rescue.
Kinda learned that the hard way. Even though, after being better now, a very well-learned treat.
"For in solitude, we find the strength we thought we needed from others" 12:37
Beautiful and True
Yes but I find that the less interaction I have with people the harder it is to assimilate when I have to for various reasons.
@@Earthtime3978 everyone's life is different, I suggest you follow your heart
@@RhynaX ones heart doesn’t always give the right answer.
@Earthtime3978 it might seem wrong at the moment but ultimately it'll be the right decision I believe, for our heart is smarter than the mind so we don't even know why it's feeling the way it is
@@RhynaXI’ve followed my heart and it left me broke a few times.
Serious note: This video has put my feelings of loneliness in a new perspective. Thank you for making this.
Non-serious note: that dude was playing the original NES Mario on a PS5 lol
I took this option several years ago and would never go back. My leisure time is all mine and I don’t need to discuss anything. Pure bliss!
Do the best you can. This will ease the time you need to be alone and ease the time you need to be around others.
I was raised Catholic but lean more towards Buddhism now. I find that being around others always brings out the ego. It's ok because it creates the challenge and opportunity to try to overcome ego.
A big part of the challenge is engaging with others without coming across as aloof or cold to those who are still very much engaged in materialism and ego. Also, trying to not get pulled back into that way of thinking.
I accept everyone's journeys and paths. It's just easier to explore and find positivity on my own but the challenge of being around others is still necessary.
I'm a 1 man team.
I trust myself.
Never by myself, always with myself.
As someone who has lived alone and “has no friends” for 3 years, I’m doing great. No depression or anxiety, no gf or screaming kids, just me and the world. I like it this way because I don’t feel the pressure of having to fake things or opinions that would get me hate. We are so caught up in worrying about what others think, especially today where you always have to have an opinion about every topic.
Being alone is beautiful if you do it right, and in no way harmful like society makes it out to be. And I don’t struggle at all socialising with others as I had a wonderful discussion with my co-worker yesterday. I always think “Is this conversation going to be worth it? Will it be meaningful and long or short and sweet? Do I have the energy to expend to converse?” Is what I ask myself if I feel ready to talk. Sometimes I don’t feel like I want to talk, so instead of forcing myself I either say “I don’t like to share my opinions” or “I’d rather not talk about that” instead of ignoring the person. They end up liking me for some reason. So yes, being alone is pretty nice.
Too much social interaction with regular people makes me a little stupid too :'(
I made it a habit to never tell my friends, relatives and other loved ones that "I like to be alone" instead I tell them that "I like to be for myself" - to me that fits more to the essence of what I feel: I love people, I love sharing my time, my love and meaningful conversations with them. And at the same time I couldn't imagine my life without having frequent retreats. It's a deep seated need for me.
I am happy and grateful that many people around me respect this need: As a child, I was allowed to withdraw from groups when it became too much for me. My partner is happy to join in when I want to look after my friends' children - and he is happy with the fact that I don't want children of my own.
That doesn't mean there aren't any challenges: My parents were often worried that I wasn't integrating enough. And it's difficult for my partner to accept that I want to rent a small apartment next to the apartment we share, where I can be on my own every now and then.
But in the end, I believe that we are all there for each other. And compromises are also good solutions for me.
Lots of love and greetings from Germany, btw 🙂
Extremely true. I’m going through the transfer right now. I just sold my restaurant do to health issues with myself and my brother. Less people. Less problems. Thank you for making this video. I needed to hear this. 🙏
Oftentimes, I find myself responsible for other peoples happiness and satisfaction, often leaving my own values behind. This is a sacrifice that everyone who belongs to a group must face. So called loneliness is kinda a blessing.