I Told Myself I Would Never Become Depressed | Hope Works at Home
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- čas přidán 10. 05. 2021
- Challenging experiences in life changed how Julie saw the world as either black or white, good or bad. She now views others in high-definition color, more as Jesus does, with possibilities for infinite potential.
Growing up, Julie says her view of life was simply a matter of doing good to feel good, that if you are good, good things will happen to you.
All this changed when she suffered a panic attack and came to realize that no longer could she merely force herself to be happy. Despite her happy disposition, she couldn’t run away from the darkness of depression. “Seeing life as black and white failed me,” she said.
After years of visiting doctors and therapists, taking medication, and lots of prayer and patience, she started to see life differently. She came to relish the Lord’s promise that those who keep their eye on Christ will be filled with His light.
“Christ healed me,” she said. “His light and love have transformed me. From a girl who struggled to love herself, I’ve come to love others.”
She may need therapy and medication the rest of her life, she says, but the life she once thought was ruined, meaningless, and worthless is now filled with meaning and joy.
How we see others is like the evolution of television, she says. When television was introduced in 1927, it was black and white and fuzzy. But no one cared. It offered something previously unknown. But in 1954, when the Rose Bowl aired in color, perceptions were challenged, she says. There was a new way to see life.
“What if our perspectives were challenged and we saw people differently-in color?” she asks. It’s easy to be critical when far away and distant, she continues. But up close and familiar, we feel comfortable and make connections.
But televisions continued to improve, she says, and in 1994 the world was again blown away by the clarity, color, and lifelike images of high-definition television.
“What if we were to see others in the high-definition of their unique gifts and life experiences and how they can benefit the world?” she asks.
Despite our frailties, “Christ sees us in the high-definition color of our potential,” she says. “We can see our lives and the lives of everyone around us in high-definition thinking.”
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Depression is a constant dog at my heels. Sometimes I get it to sit and stay and not bother me, but sometimes it comes barking in my face and refuses to be quieted. The Spirit pulls me up at those times and keeps me from taking the final, fatal step into irreversible darkness. I have a testimony of the light of Christ making my life worth living, even in the depth of struggle and pain and depression. Christ will always love us. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
I've lost 3 children to mental health issues and I pray each day to have them back in the gospel life I love. It's up to the Lord, we all need compassion. 🙏
It’s so hard to accept a challenge you can’t run away from. I have gone through exactly what you have. And it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. You have a voice that’s going to help so many. Thank you for your words
I have anxiety, panic attacks, ptsd, and depression. But through the atonement of Jesus Christ, peace does come most days. I still have these issues, but my Savior helps because HE understands us and especially me. I take meds and therapy also
This is such a beautiful and real message. I can't thank you enough for sharing this and helping me realize more, the importance of seeing people as Christ sees them. None of us was sent here to fail, but none of us will escape the trials of mortality, and loving one another through these times is the way Christ would have us love each other. The older I get the more I agree with the statement that seeing people in black and white is inaccurate. The high definition view is what I will be striving for in everyone!
I used to think that people with depression were making excuses. I thought it wasn't a real thing. I thought people wanted something to blame other than their own failures and weaknesses to justify not getting things done or being lazy. But on my mission, I suffered from depression and anxiety. I thought a lot of the same things about myself, that I was just making excuses to be lazy and that I should just get to work, but I was so sad and couldn't make myself do anything. The mission president's wife sent me to the mission counselor who diagnosed me with severe anxiety and extreme depression, but I didn't believe her at first. I thought she was telling me something that would help me shift the blame away from myself and make it easier for me to make excuses. But when I did finally accept her diagnosis, it made things a lot easier. Not because I had something to blame for my laziness. But because I understood myself better and I could be more kind to myself. And I knew it wasn't because I was a horrible lazy person who just wouldn't do what I was supposed to do even when I knew I should. I was someone who kept trying to work and push through something very hard and debilitating and who didn't give up. This experience taught me not only that depression is real, but so are everyone's struggles, problems, and trials, even if I don't understand them.
In March this year, I tried to take my life because I couldn't take life with bipolar disorder and depression anymore. I lost sight of my Savior, and I'm struggling to find comfort. My parents are my strength right now, and I'm trying very hard not to see my life in black and white, as total failure or complete success. Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy. I hope I can find joy in this life.
These videos are pretty remarkable. This one and others like it are so real. We aren't living in a life as simple as black and white. There are challenges in our lives, mistakes that we'll make, and sorrows we will feel. But there is one who can lift us up. Come, Follow Him.
Thanks Julie. I have also struggled greatly with depression for over a decade now. I have had numerous times where I was ready to end my life. It is the love of the people in my life who have pulled me back from the edge over and over again. And to add to what you said about trying to ask yourself humanizing questions about people who may be on the other end of conflict, one truth I've arrived at repeatedly in my life is...we cannot live in a world where being right is more important than being kind. This doesn't mean to compromise your standards, or your values. It just means that there are more important things than being "in the right". Compassion, forgiveness. Love.
I have the EXACT same experience. Down to the T with having a panic attack because of my boss/job and mental illness runs in my family too. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I was asking God for a sign that he’s there and still cares about me.. as I have felt so incredibly lonely and depressed lately. This is my sign. Thank you again.
The beginning view of how we blame other people for our insecurities is so helpful for everyone to understand
My teen son has dealt with violent mental health since a toddler. The journey has been so difficult and heartbreaking. It continues to be severely difficult, leaving me lost emotionally. Through it all, though, I have learned so many unique perspectives to see my son with value and even potential. I still pray daily that my son can accept and understand God in some way that has proven inaccessible to him. I have learned to also pray for how I can use my unique experiences/thoughts to reach and lift those going through what I am. To do that, I have had to learn to lift myself first. Thank you for this video. So much.
I can feel the light of Christ shining through your eyes ❤️ Thank you for sharing your feelings. Your sweet message will help many people!
What a precious person! Thank you for sharing this. Was touched by your testimony of Christ and your resilience.
Mental illness is a real challenge for so many people throughout the world. Thank you for talking openly about your struggles. From personal experience, I know that we can be trying to do everying right and still suffer intense bouts of depression.
Thank you for saying that you weren't just healed from depression, but through christ you learned to see light even with depression and anxiety. Acceptance that i'm not just a completely broken person because of my anxiety and depression is something that I've been working on so much with my therapist. It gives me hope that with christ we can learn to accept those parts of ourselves and still have light in our lives.
I love you Julie! It’s been a blessing to watch you follow your specific path in life and be an instrument in God’s hands for good ❤️❤️
You are so inspiring. I love your insight. I love the thought of looking at others in color and high definition. Brilliant. Precious. We're ALL important to Him. The Savior is always the answer. Bless you for sharing. Bless you for being so real. Bless you for being you. 🙌💖
keep praying and keep reading the scriptures and you will get blessings
Thanks so much for your courage to speak up, I am slowing going up hill now and your video has given me a real boost. I need to just find out how to love myself again. Hearing the word "trust" is my biggest trigger to anxiety attacks, we hear it so many times at church to Trust in the Lord. I avoided church for 2 years due to the embarressment of running out of sacrament meeting & relief society hearing that word and bursting into a panic attack and crying. I am now trying to come back, as I have been listening to so many talks and BYU pod casts to put Christ back into my life. I think I am ready to face this now. I will take your many thoughts and apply them to me way of thinking to find the happiness again in my life.