End of Life Decisions
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- čas přidán 6. 12. 2020
- I’m really just rambling about end-of-life decisions, DNR ‘s, and how it should be easier for people to talk about it. Having to make the decision it’s hard enough without worrying about people judging you.
I have a very rare disease and I’m terminal I’m 26 and me and my mum sat down and made the decision for a DNR I have died twice in icu and I said no if I die let me be I don’t want to be in pain. We agreed we cried but we became strong a DNR is hard but you way up pain or peace. I choose peace and my mum respects my decision. We are all strong you just need to dig deep inside
I don’t think anyone should judge you. They are not in your shoes. Your doing what’s best for your kids. You a good mum and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise x sending hugs x
Thank you for this. It’s so painful. We made the choice to put a DNR in place for my son at four days old. Knowing you have a dying child, a terminal child is the hardest thing in the world. And it’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair. Doing end of life care when you should be doing beginning of life care is heartbreaking. We did the same thing. Kept a feeding tube, to not starve him, but we always want him to know, that’s we will fight for him as long as he is fighting still, but when he’s done it’s okay to pass. He doesn’t have to stay alive in pain just for us.
You are such a sweet mother. Your babies are so blessed to have you as the one who is making those difficult decisions for them. Thank you for this bittersweet and necessary conversation
You’re a strong woman. Keep being strong and beautiful. We love you.
I agree with you 100%
It shouldn't be taboo to talk about end of life Decisions. You are a wonderful mom and wife!
Again I am local to you and if you ever need anything just yell at me!
thank you so much
Thank you for sharing!!
I admire you so much!!!
God Bless you and those little angels
Thank you so much!
Nobody else has any right to an opinion because they aren’t our children. All I have is extreme compassion and empathy for you.
I recently was burdened with this decision for my mother who was my absolute best friend. My other half. Aside from my kids, the person I loved most on this earth. Yes even more than my husband. I couldn't handle it. I signed over my rights to her sister. We both knew what had to be done. I just couldn't be the one to do it. God I'm crying now. I can't imagine having to do this for a child, much less 2. You are so strong, and so inspirational. You have so much purpose! You're changing lives with this video. Keep your head up!
Please never apologise for "rambling" you are shedding light on a very taboo topic and the way you explained and handled it was beyond amazing. You are an amazing person and mother and I send my love and prayers to you and your family ❤
Thank you so much!
It’s heart breaking that you would ever have to be making these decisions but it’s so important that you talked about it nobody wants to talk about end of life care especially for a child I’m so happy you decided to post this because there is someone out there that this video is gonna be exactly what they need I love you Whitney❤️
You are allowed to feel anything you want. You don't have to apologize for anything! You and Jason know exactly what's best for your children!! Your real supporters are on your side. We love y'all!!!❤️ #Frostarmy
I am grateful you made this video. This is something that in our culture is desperately needed to stop being in the dark. I don't know if you have ever heard of a "death doula" but it's someone who helps make decisions and supports and comforts all involved. It's something I have felt called to try and do at some point. Hospice is a gift. My opinion on your choice doesn't matter, but for what it's worth I think you are gracefully walking that path of comfort and care. People talk about illness and dying as if we all all immoral unless bad choices are made. None of us are. All of us are just here as long as we are. I have been with a few close family when they were dying. I think that what matters is comfort, and being with people who love you, and you are doing that every day. Mom hugs in solidarity from a stranger. 🥰
Thank you for sharing! People should not judge. I respect you so much for how you handle all of this.
I appreciate that
Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable information. We are dealing with these things also with our child. In the PICU right now with her. It’s very difficult.
Thank you for posting this. So many people need to hear this. I can't even begin to think about a parent making a decision. I work in an ER and see so many elderly patients with no DNR in respiratory and cardiac arrest and we have to literally break them to keep them alive when the patient's children or grandchildren say they want us to do everything. When it comes to that they aren't doing what is best for the patient. This is so important. You are so strong.
Extremely tough decisions, but I believe you know what is best for your children. You have been their advocate all their lives. You are stronger than you realize.
Please do not say you are waisting our time , I have learned so much from you and your videos . You are a strong fantastic mother I admire you and thank you for sharing your family as a mom I can never imagine what you are going through . Please take care of you and I hope you can get some sleep sending hugs 🤗❤️
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You are so incredibly brave talking about all of this "touchy" stuff. My heart breaks for you that you even have to think about this. I absolutely admire you. ❤❤
I just have nothing but LOVE for you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. You are strong humans!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Wow, thank you
I am a funeral director and you are not only the realist most genuine human being, you can talk about the hardest things. I am so inspired by you and your story and your BRAVERY. You are so amazing and you have been sent to this earth for a reason. Thank you for sharing your life.
I appreciate you making this video you have no idea how this has helped me.
Thankyou so much for this video💜 my son Noah was diagnosed with an extremely rare terminal genetic condition called HECW2 back in May. He asks us questions about what heaven is like and if he will still see us when he dies 😭 he has even picked out 2 songs he wants played at his funeral- juicy wiggle by red foo and dancing in the sky . We are writing down everything he wants and letting him be involved as much as possible :( honestly something no parent should have to be discussing with their 9yr old child 😭💔
You are such a brave mumma and honestly your vlogs here and videos on TikTok have helped me to find strength and cope so for that I am so thankful 💜
Whitney, you are a brave beautiful mommy! Thank you for speaking truth even though it was HARD AS HELL. I’m so sorry for the pain you are in. I watched from beginning to end and heard every word. I admire you for caring enough about humanity to expose yourself to criticism for the sake of reaching those who are suffering in silence. That is BRAVE AND HEROIC! Make yourself a super hero cape!! 😘😘😘😘
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Your children are beautiful. It seems so unfair that completely innocent children have to go through such suffering.
You are so brave for posting this! They don’t live it & should respect All decisions made by you. Quality over Quantity 🥰
You are a brave strong woman. We will be here anytime you need to talk no matter the time it takes.
Whittney I appreciate you doing this. It is a subject that no one wants to talk about. You are so strong and an amazing mom to Riley and Harrison. I follow you on TickTock and I love your videos. I love you, Jason, Natalie, Riey, and Harrison!!! #frostarmy
Towards the end I kept hearing a train...and it took me a minute to figure out that it was coming from the video since I don't live anywhere close to a train track.
Anyway, when the time comes it's hard to know exactly what you'll do or the decisions you might make. You will need to go into it kind of like a birth plan and know that not everything may go as planned and be able and willing to make adjustments in the moment if needed.
Losing someone is never easy but losing a baby or young child just seems so unfair! And unless you walk a mile in someone's shoes then it's not your place to comment. DNR's are the hardest thing a parent can face.
I admire your strength in that you're willing to be raw and real with us about the end of life conversation. You're right...it's taboo and everyone seems to have their ten cents they feel the need to throw in.
As you know, your Frost army is here. I just wish I could physically do something to help with your family aside from donating money and sending well wishes. I wish that I could be there to help wash dishes, do laundry or help with Riley and Harrison. I feel helpless at times because I want to help but can't in that regard. But please know that the sentiment is 100% there!!
No judgement here. You're a strong women. Thinking of you and your family often.
Whitney, sometimes the most loving thing we can decide for someone is to not be selfish. I was a medic for over 20 years, and I can't tell you how terrible it is to feel like you are betraying someone by not allow them a peaceful death, i.e. "doing everything" when they are in or very near cardiac arrest, simply because either no one discussed it or their loved ones couldn't bear the thought that they "didn't do everything". I have silently prayed for those patients, asked them for forgiveness, and tried to be as gentle and calming as I could. Only you and your husband could make this no-win decision for your kids. I had an acquaintance who was a home health nurse. They told me about a patient they had who was resuscitated from a drowning but who was in a persistent vegetative state and went to the hospital at least once a month with UTIs, pneumonia, etc. They said the child's mother confided once that she begs her child for forgiveness every day because his life is torturous to him. He had been a completely healthy toddler when he drowned, so she had to make a decision she'd never thought about before in the worst moment of her life. I think you will both at least know that when the time comes you aren't reacting out of your own pain and fear, but that you made these decisions completely out of love for your baby. And God bless you for helping other parents know that it is ok for them to share their decisions with trusted people who love them and can give them support.
I am glad u have made this video I recently had to put a dnr on myself and after talking to some family members I seen stopped because one of the closest people to me wont speak to me. Eventhough its important so is family at this time. Thank you.
This was heartbreaking to watch. I had to take a few breaks but I felt like I needed to hear what you had to say. I want you to know I respect every decision you have made and you didn't waste anyone time. I want to tell you how sorry I am that this is what you are going through but I know how I feel won't change anything. I wish you strength and comfort through this journey.
You guys are such good parents. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel any different. I’ve been following your journey for sometime now and those kids are so so loved!
Bless your heart! I just love you and your family!
Thank you for making this video , its really important people speak about these decisions openly, without judgment. ♥
thank you for sharing this. In all this hell I believe that it all has a purpose. You share such important reflections and are so important to so many. Thank you.
So much love to you, Jason, and the kiddos (Moose and Gunner too!). You are doing the absolute best possible for Riley and Harrison. I admire you and Jason so much. 💖
You are doing AMAZING. You’re logical and loving just as a momma should be. You are an inspiration to other mothers, maybe some that don’t know it yet. She may find this video 3 years from now when she needs it most. You are a welcome new friend in my household and I thank you for all you do to include us in your life 😘😘😘
You are an amazing mom and you are so strong my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for peace and comfort
I love how you said this. It makes so much sense. You and your husband are doing the right thing. I know there are mean people who say ignorant stuff and I honestly don't understand why or how people can be so insensitive to a mother who has 2 terminally ill children. Im glad when I was raising my 2 sons they were taught manners and to be respectful human beings before they learned their ABCs. You know what is best for those children and thank you for sharing your family with us because the world does need to see and know families who are going through something very tough. You have helped so many parents who have children that are special needs and you make it ok to be a silly mom with Riley and Harrison and of course Natalie. Just bc Riley and Harrison are sick doesn't mean you should not be silly and do whatever you can to give them joy. You are truly helping us wqy more than us helping you. THANK YOU FOR THAT
I appreciate your being open and honest with such a touchy topic. I love watching your videos and getting to know the kids. Prayers are with you
All my love to you and your babies❤️❤️❤️. It’s such a hard decision and a moral dilemma that you and your husband have to make and live with.
You and you're husband are amazing parents and have made your decisions with love for them, you are realistic and genuine. I work in EMS and have taken terminal kids for appointments and surgeries with hope to prolong their life. I have seen what those herculean efforts do and the ever slipping quality of life with those decisions when the parent or parents aren't true with themselves and the reality of the situation. I can't imagine how difficult it is to make those decisions or cope with a dying child, but it's hard to put into words how strong you are for choosing quality over quantity. From what little of your life you have shown you have given them the best quality of life possible and it's heartfelt to see the love and devotion you, you're family have for them and to insure they won't suffer. Thank you for sharing.
You are so smart, kind, and strong. I really admire your forethought and strength in standing up for what you believe in... I wish I had been born to you! I wish I could just move on, I'm really tired of fighting. Thank you, you are such an awesome mom. I'm really glad you shared this vid, this is so incredibly inspiring. Yes you are doing the right thing for your kids. No one has the right to judge you. Your kids, your right to decide. You are so brave to talk about this stuff. What you and Jason decide is always the right decision. 💜
My God, you and you're husband are amazing and strong and wonderful people. I watch your videos and I feel you in my heart. You all have hearts of steel and I am humbled by everything you do.
We support you!❤️ you know what is best for them💕 thank you for sharing
Bless you. Your decision is only yours. Your love for your children is beautiful.
I think you will have touched and given comfort and strength to other parents who are having to make the same decisions... your courage to talk about the 'hard stuff' is what makes you so authentic...
You and Jason know your children like no on be else ever could... and because of that, you are making the choices that are right for them....
Like you, I talk about the hard things that often are hidden away... not because I want sympathy, but because my experiences might educate others and maybe help one person not feel alone.
I'm sure there is a parent out their that feels less alone because of this heartfelt clip xxx
You are so articulate, measured and calm in these CZcams videos. It is more than impossible to know what it is like to walk in your shoes. I have followed you on Tik Tok, but CZcams due to its longer format has shown what a well spoken, compassionate person you are. No doubt you have helped so many others with your wisdom here.
More power to u..this video made me hug my kids a little tighter today and telling them to always trust that moms always do what they think is best for their kids and nothing less..regadless of what others think... virtual hugs to all of u...
I admire your strength and respect your decisions as their mother and caregiver. My thoughts are with you often, I only wish I could take away some of the pain you have to be feeling. ❤
You are amazing and you are a great mum hun. You love your kids that much I can tell and they are so lucky to have you as a mum hun.
You are tremendous parents . I whole heartedly agree with you . Thinking of you all xxxx
You never waste my time. I wish I could wrap my arms around your family and make it all better.
Love and prayers to you and your beautiful family.
Thanks for sharing this with us. We all appreciate it.
Thank you so much for talking about such a difficult subject you are so amazing and it's going to be so helpful for families that need to sit down and have this conversation
You are never a waste of my time. It is my choice to listen you and let you inform me on what you go through in your life. What you have to say is important even if you don't think it is. Thank you.
God bless you! Just know that any choice you make is the right choice, you know your babies and know what is right for them. Its unfair that you have to make this choice, but who better to make the choice than a parent who loves their kids.
I pray for strength for you a d your babies! You are an awesome mom and never forget that. Bless you momma!
I couldn't convince my 83 yr old in-laws to fill out a living will or DNR. They accused me of trying to encourage them to die. I've had mine filled out since my daughter was born 47 years ago. You just never know when something is going to happen.
Girl don’t ever apologize I love hearing you ramble :)
I admire you so much!! You’re so honest and upfront! We are here for you and I hope you know we like your videos no matter what the content! Please like so she see the love! 💕
You are brilliant, kind, and compassionate. Offering you love and support from KY 💕
Thank you so much!
I am so sorry. That has to hardest decision of your life. Please be the strong positive women your already are. No body is going what you and your family is going through. That is you and your family decision and what is best for the babies best decision.
I think have made smart decisions. All these decisions I would have made same decisions. It hurts my heart for yall having to do it.yall are the strongest parents I have ever seen be strong and make the decision yall are feel comfortable with. Fuck the rest no one knows everything about u and ur family and deal with day in and day out.
talk. talk for as long as you want about what you want. we are here because we want to listen. ♥️ si se puede.
No one has the right to judge you for the choices you make for your children. You know your kids best and whatever decision you make will be the right one. That will obviously that make it any less hard and painful but they are your children and you know them better than anyone. I love you so much and I know your kids and husband love you and they know you will always do what is in their best interest.
i think everybody needs to discuss this. i have have an advanced directive since age 18, after i found out i was disabled due to an unexpected medical emergency. its not easy to think about especially when it is regarding terminal illness but i believe even completely healthy people benefit from stuff like advanced directives! advanced directives preserve your medical autonomy. thats why they are important
It’s one of the hardest things to decide I feel your heart brake. My moM was 58 I couldn’t imagine doing it for my child my mom was hard enough prayers mommas sending love
Love you guys x
Thank you so much for this video. I agree that death as a whole needs to be talked about SOOO much more. It’s a reality of life- life comes to an end.
Are you familiar with Caitlin Doughty (Ask a Mortician) and the Order of the Good Death? You might like watching some of her videos! She’s very death positive and educates on green (environmental) burial.
I adore Caitlin and the work she is trying to do for all of us.
you are doing such a good job
Your so strong 💜💜💜
I just wanted to say I love you and the kids
Your good mom your kids are beautiful I’m sorry you have to talk about this ❤️
Wow 🙏 God bless you
That is the best thing I have ever heard, “ you can have your own opinion, but you need to keep it to yourself.” Sometimes it’s better and less hurtful to the other person if you keep your opinions to yourself, especially when you are not living that other persons life, so your opinion is flawed and can be hurtful
I just want to give you a hug.
SWEETHEART IM SO SORRY FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.. IF ITS A GOOD DECISION OR NOT ITS YOUR HUSBAND AND YOURS TOO MAKE. I HOPE YOU DON'T GET UPSET AT WHAT IM GOING TO SAY. BUT WHAT WOULD YOUR ANGELS HAVE GOOD TO COME BACK TO ...YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND IS DOING JUST GREAT JOB WITH THE BABY'S. I LOVE SEEN HOW YOU GUYS TAKE CARE OF THEM . I PRAY FOR YOU ALL EVERY DAY 💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Keep your head up
You are one of the strongest women I know . Those that matter know that you will do what is best for your babies ❤️ everyone else can go suck it 😉
That’s is such a sensitive subject. But I understand.
My father just passed a week ago unexpectedly and i wish we would of talked about this before the time had came up its so hard to try to think of what the person would of wanted its hard
I'm so sorry for your loss. My father passed suddenly also (but many years ago). I too took away from that that we as families and people, don't have this conversation enough and I make a point to now. You did what you thought was best, so, it WAS the best. Seep breath, no blame, only love to you. 🥰
Have you ever explained really what your children have ? Be strong ♥️
Yes in previous videos go to the first couple of CZcams videos she posted
It seems ridiculous that a G tube is considered a Herculean effort when so so so many people live with G tubes every day as a normal part of their life. When people talk about quality of life, I think too often they don't think about how many adult disabled people live with these interventions every day. Of course it's different when the children can't make their own decisions, but it sounds like you are doing a great job making these decisions for your children. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you.