My Mental Health Journey - the ups and downs of recovery (personal video)
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Today's video is an update on my personal journey - it's a reflection on the fact that many people praise me for my honesty about my own mental health, but I think people only see a part of the story. (I have a history of anorexia, depression, anxiety and self-harm as a result of PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder).
SO I've been brave and been quite honest about some of the things I'm still struggling with and the compromises I make to help me manage each day - I hope that in being honest I'll paint a more honest picture of what recovery is looking like for me. The journey is different for everyone, there is no right or wrong way to get better and there will always be bad days as well as good days
Whilst I seem very confident and happy talking about a lot of this stuff, appearances can be deceptive. It took quite a lot of courage to film and post this (I had to take a break in the middle where I made myself panic thinking about potatoes...) so please be kind!
Please let me know what other topics you'd like me to tackle in future videos and subscribe to be kept up to date with new videos as they’re published.
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The vast majority of the people I know with mental illnesses (myself included) are in the same boat of "I seem ok, I look like I'm confident and happy" so I think it's so important that that message gets out there; mental illness doesn't look like anything.
I'm glad you're making such progress and I'm glad you're not hiding it! Yay for being brave!
Thank you - It's so true - I was very anxious about making and posting this, but at the same time I'm hyper aware of there being so many good positive conversations around mental health but few around the day to day of reality of just about managing...
I have watched a few of your videos today and they have helped me immensely. It is profoundly comforting to hear this from an articulate, intelligent woman. Thank you so very much.
Thank you so much Pooky, you will never know what a help you are to me. I have really missed you over the past week. Thank you for all your videos.
Thank you Barbara - I'm so pleased you like them! Thank you for taking time to watch and comment.
I have followed you on twitter for just over a year as by coincidence my 16 year old was admitted to hospital in February last year (with Anorexia) and your tweets at that time helped me realise that a range of people experience this awful illness and that it would take a lot of support, love and understanding. It remains a battle for them but we are slowly unraveling the root troubles and have a good support network around them now. I have often wondered how your none twitter life looked and am touched by your honesty as yet again it has echoes of our young adults struggles. (my son, ftm, has been struggling with gender identity). I think value your honest information and advice it is hard to find such practical yet emotive information that has come from actual experience. I continue to follow and admire you
Thank you for such kind words - and I'm so glad that I've been able to help a little - with love to you and your family - I hope the trajectory continues to be positive xx
I've just discovered your channel and I feel so lucky. I am in a rough patch in my life right now and I'm relatively isolated. I tried to seek professional help last year but I couldn't stick to the treatement. I have tried to talk to my friends and family and even if some of them genuinely love me, they don't seem to understand. Being misunderstood is a source of frustration and further isolation and self blame.
Finding someone with great insight who feels the way I feel, who is honest, who gives me the hope I need and who guides me to gentler methods of improvement has been so helpful.
Thank you so much, from Algeria.
You are amazing, not only for sharing your personal story but also for providing such valuable support. I'm a teacher and a mental health practitioner in a secondary school so your videos have really helped. Please keep doing what you are so amazing at and thank you for sharing your story with us. Xx
❤️❤️❤️...
I feel like you are very honest... I think many people as well as me will understand that sharing even part of what you have been through is brave and we wouldn't want you to feel like you should share more... I am sure we understand you have been great doing this... All of us feel you are brave and very much generous... It's hard to share in full....I don't and don't feel able yet... At least not widely.
Love to you xx
Breath of fresh air, as always Pooky. Honest about the hidden struggle, yet your positivity shines though. Xo
Thank you Annie - I can't tell you how psyched I was to see a picture you had taken from one of your lectures! I had missed a chapter somewhere and wow... I'm sure it must be tough as hell but you are doing it. You are doing it! Sending all the love xxx
That's why I love this video so much, because that's the thing, everyone thinks I'm all recovered and whatnot, but the thing is I'm not better at all, I'm in the same position, but with the difference being that I'm carrying on with life rather than being stuck in hospital. Tough as hell, but doing it. Sending you love too. Would be amazing to meet up sometime xxx
I love your posts. Thank you for sharing your story with intelligence and compassion.
Love to you Pooky ❤️
Brave video x
It's a daily struggle for me too and a continual learning process for me...
Working on my recovery takes a lot especially when you have to deal with negativity off some people in the community on top.
But... I know I am blessed in tonnes of ways
have good people around me...
Increasingly helpful and more diverse coping skills....
Your DBT accepts video adding to them 👍😁
This video helped me a lot.... I now know I'm not alone in struggling on a daily basis and with people busy environments.... That it's okay to take recovery time when energy sapped... Needed to give myself permission and you opened that door.. 😀
You also mentioned that a lot can be going on for you when to other people it looks like you are totally fine... This is very true for me too... And I am glad I'm not alone... People without much mental health knowledge or awareness think your fine and if you are anything like me it exhausts me engaging in their perception and getting terribly upset about this.... (and other comments that show so little understanding)
It takes quite an effort to rein in that hurt and tendency to let it affect me... Then the anger at myself that I have let myself get in so much emotional distress over it... For too much of the day...
Anyway to end on a positive note... And play the glad game... I'm glad I found your channel and have been able to share many of your videos with friends 💕👍
Hey Pooky, thanks so much for posting this, I am so glad you were brave as it will really help others. I also have Anorexia and PTSD and I have found your recovery story really motivating and encouraging so thank you and keep going - you got this!
Thank you so much Bea - and good luck with your journey. A battle well worth fighting! x
I feel the whole not being as well or coping as well as it looks lie. I explained it better in my last video but I am just hyper aware of the fact that when I don't post how I am I contribute towards a culture of selectively sharing stuff online...which we know can be detrimental to there people's mental health. ARGH!
But seriously this is a v helpful and good video and I know it wasn't easy to post. But as the kid in a scary relapse I am v proud of you for being brave
Thank you Ellen - I was right in the middle of commenting on your video as your comment came up - great minds :)... I'm not sure there is a right or wrong answer and there is the difficulty of the indelible footprint we leave and being mindful of the fact that whilst people *should* be accepting and respectful of our true, honest selves, they won't always be... However, the only way the conversation will change is if we make it happen..
So pleased you are doing so well 😃 xx
Love your top 😃 x
I hope it doesn’t sound patronising or clichéd if I say I’m really proud of you for talking openly & honestly about your recovery. Even though I am at the other end of the ED spectrum, much of what you said about how you feel, resonates.
In return for your openness, I will share something with you. Recently I have come to realise that I have had high anxiety, low self-esteem & depression since I was a child. Since then I have been ‘self-medicating’ with food and later, to a lesser extent, with alcohol.
Sorry for the slow reply (I've been at the hospital with my father in law for most waking hours for the last ten days or so). Not patronising or clichéd at all - I think we've often seen parallels despite the different outward appearances of our issues.. as for switching between poisons, that's really common too.... there is no short cut for dealing with the underlying trauma sadly (I have tried!!) .. but I hope that one day you will see the wonderful husband and father (and friend) the rest of us see x
Thank you for being so open with your mental health issues. I have in the last week added you to my Twitter. I have suffered with depression on and off since a very early age I have just recently recognised. I experienced domestic abuse within my family as a child and my brother used to look out for me. Sadly he passed away on 27th Dec last year at 59 years of age; we never spoke about our trauma but found out after his death how much it affected his life and he had counselling. I wished I had spoken to him about it, we could have helped each other.
I'm so sorry Tracey. This must feel incredibly hard. I hope you have the right support in place to help you work through your childhood trauma and the loss of your brother. It is difficult, but it is so worthwhile. Good luck xx
Pooky your honesty is amazing. YOU are amazing. I am so pleased to know that you are at such a healthy and hopeful place.
How did you first come to try climbing? I’ve had it recommended to someone close to me...I can see how it could bring about focus, mindfulness, adrenaline and self esteem. Xx
It was by chance to be honest, the girls wanted to try it so we did a taster and they told me the most cost effective way for the girls to climb was for me to do a 90 minute intro that meant I was allowed climb and supervise two novices (in this instance, my kids) - by the end of the 90 minute intro I was kind of hooked, but the things that made me really commit and enjoy it was making a friend - he and I always climb together on a Friday lunchtime and a Tuesday evening and on Tuesdays there is an instructor too so we learn lots... but basically the more I climbed the more I enjoyed it, the more I climbed... Id' really recommend it, I'd also happily come with you if you wanted a buddy... you'll find climbers to be super friendly though...
PookyH Thank you Pooky ❤️ It’s not for me though (scared of heights!) I’m thinking of a young person who’s going through some hard times at the moment xxx
P.S. thank you so much for your kind words :)
There is a great bouldering wall in Brighton - I'd really recommend it. I'm actually just chatting to a German researcher who has developed an intervention for depression based on bouldering - I'm keen to see it adapted for adolescents and translated for the UK. This is a bit of a pipe dream though, in the mean time, I think that contacting Boulder Brighton and encoring the YP to have a go (with a friend ideally) would be really helpful. The instructors are also probably young and friendly so they could do an intro session or similar - the only prohibitive thing might be cost, but often there are good rates for young people... (a shame you can't be tempted you have a great build for climbing!)
(n.b. please don't negatively interpret great build for climbing - I mean long and lithe!)