I had my baby
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- čas přidán 28. 08. 2024
- He's here! What do I do now? Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring today's video. Get 10% off your first month here: BetterHelp.com...
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Actors: Julie Nolke
Writer: Julie Nolke
Camera: Sam Larson
Editor: Alec McKay
Production Assistant: Jill Agopsowicz
After some blood, sweat and tears I did it, I had a full on baby... but like what do I do now? Please enjoy this week's video and drop your number 1 piece of parenting advice down below.
Congrats! No.1 parenting advice I can give you is that things changes ALL.THE.TIME ... so don't be too caught up in what worked before doesn't work anymore. Just try your best to be present with them now.
Not a parent, not even an adult, but one piece of advice I can definitely give is to not be an absolute piece of shit to the baby. I can tell you from experience, the child will not appreciate that
Congratulations!!! My parenting advice: relax, mistakes will be made and all you can do is correct the mistake and learn from it. My only child was born at 25 weeks gestation, so nothing went as planned ever. We are all flying by the seat of our pants, that’s normal.
Congratulations!
Hmm. I don't like children, so try to make him not one asap; perhaps by instilling a sense of professionalism or by teaching him a marketable trade.
I hope you start an "explaining motherhood to my past self" series.
This is such a cool idea!
@@ChristineBissonnette
Ohhh...slippery slope. Now my oldest is 17, I have so many regrets. It wouldn't be a comedy sketch, it would be a dramedy. 😢 I wish I'd been more patient and gotten help with cleaning so I had more energy to spend on patiently parenting.
or, as a mother, go back and explain the to Julie in the pandemic WAY before motherhood what the pandemic will be like, but don't mention the baby.
Ooh yes!
Yes!
Huge congrats Julie, actually going through with a full pregnancy and labour just for a comedy sketch
Such commitment!
Grade A dedication!
Number one piece of parenting advice is to remember to feed the child. That's REALLY important.
Look back through history and you'll find that those who made the biggest contributions to our advancement were given food repeatedly, starting shortly after birth. Don't skip that step.
so smart!
When you say repeatedly, do you mean like... EVERYDAY? Like you mean even on weekends? Seems a bit excessive but I can't argue with the data.
@@alexy206 I suppose you could try a regimen of 'feeding days' and 'starve days', like how lions eat in the wild. But this method has notable drawbacks. You have to have refrigerator space for large quantities of meat, the CPS visits take up a lot of your time, the children complain about being hungry a lot more, etc.
" Just keep it alive "
LOL
As someone whose newborn preferred sleeping over eating, I agree this is the most important thing.
"Have a list of people who can check out the kid from daycare, keep $100 on hand and never spend it, always have a full tank of gas." Advice that was given to my mom as a single parent. Served her wonderfully. I'm 32 and she's still following it.
Congratulations!
brilliant. although with inflation i feel like it's more like "keep $400 on hand" #facepalm
How much does daycare cost for a 32-yr old?
That’s amazing advice
I thought I had invented those rules...someone always do it first huh?
Seriously, ^this! (No, really, always have $100 bill hidden somewhere because you’ll get to the store and you’ll realize your purse is ….anywhere but in your hand. And you’ve got to buy the tylenol or diapers or formula or whatever right now because your kid is completely out)
From a father:
As they mature, listen to your kids, as much as you advise them. That right there builds a solid foundation of trust and closeness.
I'm a dad of two grown daughters and I just kept the lyrics from "Princes Familiar" by Alanis Morisette (obviously not all of them) in mind:
Please be philosophical
Please be tapped into your feminity
Please be able to take the wheel from me
Please be crazy and curious
Papa, love your princess
So, she will find loving princes familiar
Papa, cry for your princess
So, she will find gentle princes familiar
Papa, listen to your princess
So, she will find attentive princes familiar
Papa, hear your princess
So, she will find curious princes familiar
Papa, laugh with your princess
So, she will find funny princes familiar
Papa, respect your princess
So, she will find respectful princes familiar
@@JasonShoots-yes sir, I agree, listen with respect and curiosity. My kiddos are now young adults and we have a wonderful relationship full of mutual love, respect, and admiration
100%. Dad myself, greatest frustration that kids feel from what I've observed, is when they feel no-one listens to them. Really listens. Not with a phone in our hands, or with one eye on something else. Give them your full attention, look them in the eye and listen to whatever they have to say. Only takes a moment, 800 times a day admittedly, but they will have less tantrums
Yes. I’m a mom of 3. Oldest is 19. I’m having the worst time just listening and not lecturing. I need to stfu and listen. Ugh. She doesn’t always need my judgment. My dad does this and I hate it. Here I am doing the same thing to my own kid.
There is nothing finer than having a solid foundation with your children. When grandchildren come along it’s golden.
Giving a baby a margarita is an absolute power move. Don't let the haters stop you from doing your thing
Let's go further give the kid some opium gum
" Doesn't that like come with the territory??? "
LOL
This is terrible advice. Have the margarita yourself, then breastfeed the baby. That way you can both enjoy it.
Please, small babies can't have Tequila... You have to start with something like Vodka!
That'll be key for good sleep training.
This is for further down the road, but when he asks a question, before you answer, ask him "What do _you_ think the answer is?". The greatest thing my mom ever did for me was teaching me how to learn. Forcing me to actually contemplate an answer myself rather than just numbly asking for it to be fed to me truly shaped me in ways that I am proud of to this day.
This is great advice. And it helps when we don’t know the answer but don’t wanna look dumb so we ask this to make them think we’re smart 😂
Ooh, I like this. Going to start that with my three year old today. Thanks!
I do this bc I hate answering "why why why" and my 5 yr old is very creative and good at thinking up answers for himself. And we can have conversations instead of just answering questions. Sometimes I do answer questions since he's getting more into science, I end up googling stuff pretty frequently.
I agree that overall this is a great piece of advice I also want to indicate there is a line where it stops working or becomes frustrating for the child. On a grand scale it helped me be resourceful and inquisitive when I had to think or look up answers but for specific things it added to problems.
For me that was spelling, when I asked for help/how to spell a word all I remember getting was "sound it out" and/or "go look it up in the dictionary" I have learning disabilities in that area, that they knew about, it is often resulted in lost time (5+ minutes) looking things up under the wrong letter compared to the minute it would take them to help me with it. Even if they helped me look it up and made sure I was on the right track would have been better than the "go away and look it up" it felt like.
Best advice! My dad always said that!
My best advice is that if you're asking yourself "am I a good mom" the answer is yes. Bad moms don't stop to self reflect on what they are doing and how they could be a better person and mother. If you're worried, you're doing it right!
This is what I try to remember when I’m feeling down about my parenting.
This is a great insight and I think every new mom needs to hear it.
bad moms yell at you about how good of a mom they are.
source: my mom
When I first became a mom, sometimes I really really hated it. I loved my son, but sometimes I just wanted it to all go back to how it was before. I feel like not enough people talk about those parts, and I felt really alone in that while everyone else was "enjoying every moment". Just know if you ever feel that way, it doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It just means it's really hard sometimes. You've got this. ❤
Yes! Those early months/ years can be SO hard!
I don’t think I ever wanted to go back to how it was before kids, because life just seems dull and empty in comparison when I look back. But for sure I don’t “enjoy every moment” lol. There’s a lot of tears and frustration and insane levels of sleep deprivation.
I am a father of two. You are definitely not alone. For every moment that I love, there's like 5 where I wish I had gotten that vasectomy 5 years earlier. It's all good at the end of the day, these are just feelings and you have to deal with them. I love my kids, but they're the most exhausting creatures on the planet sometimes. And by sometimes I mean almost always.
yes that part! im a mom of 3 boys , 2 grown and one still in school. love my kids to the moon and back , but yeah they get on my nerves sometimes. sometimes i wonder what an empty nest will be like but im also nervous about that day too...
Thank you.
When he gets a little older and you both start having a battle of wills - starts at age 2 and ends when you die - be sure to apologize to your kid when you mess up. This way, you teach him how to take accountability for his actions. Kids are people in progress. And no one expects perfection from you, because you're people too. You learn accountability, your kid learns it too, and before you know it, you've made a good adult.
I'm excited for you, and hope you take all the time you need!
Absolutely! That moment of repair when you apologize not only mends and strengthens your relationship but teaches such a good lesson… worthwhile for both of you, every time.
Love this! Very very important
For any new moms, take it a day at a time, or even just a moment at a time. Take all mommy advice with a grain of salt. You know your baby best, or you will at least at some point. There will be highs and lows, just remember the lows are temporary ❤
love this. Thank you!!
@@julienolke Aww youre so welcome! My baby just turned 13yo last month ❤️😄
My friend gave me the best advice.
Whatever it is, wait two weeks. It most always goes away on its own.
Phases come and go!
@@julienolke To be fair though, the lows will include their 2-3 year depressed goth phase between 10 & 25, so there is that. They will no doubt tell you that you don't understand their life and The Cure is something you have never heard of.
The highs are also temporary. Life's like that, enjoy the good bits.
Best advice I got was from a friend in her 60’s with a thick southern accent: “Don’t take anyone else’s advice. They are not you, and they don’t know your baby like you.” She told me I’d figure it out as I go. It’s the single most practical piece of advice I’ve ever gotten on parenting, and still helps me filter through the noise to find what ACTUALLY works for me and my family.
I love this advice and give it myself (usually not the exact words, but the same meaning)! As a mother I feel it’s the best advice parents can get.
Well, that and „if you feel overwhelmed and close to loosing control, put your baby somewhere safe, close as many doors as possible between you, calm down, your baby won’t die in 10 minutes, and only then return“ (we don’t want to shake a baby).
Perfect!
But if she takes this advice then she automatically doesn't take your advice...mind blown...
Sneaky, ain’t it? 😜
All the baby knows is if you love them. The singing, laughing, cuddles. Cleaning them and feeding them healthy food. They don't care if toys are expensive or if the clothes are designer. They throw up on everything anyway. Nap and shower anytime you can. Accept help when offered, it just means someone loves you and/or the baby! (but you don't always have to accept advice... well except this)
Congratulations, that is one lucky baby😊
Awesome, awesome advice
I agree - great advice... the rest you can figure out.
Feed them. Carry them around with you as much as possible. Pay attention to them. Show joy whenever you interact. It's not complicated.
love this.
Simple =/= easy
I don’t know why a little phrase like, “show joy when you interact” touched me so much. But that’s all it is, the difference between showing love and saying love. Thank you, Natural Law Institute :)
Carrying them around as much as you can sounds like a way to create a kid that doesn't know how to spend time alone. Believe me, my SIL did this and now she whines that the kids are unable to entertain themselves. They never learned.
@plumdutchess theres a difference between carrying them around and not allowing them to do anything. Are you sure the problem was the carrying and not the parenting?
“Just keep it alive” is actually the best one. Your kid’s gonna be awesome, just like you!
Man, every time I ask a mirror for advice I just get told i'm "scaring people at walmart"
Hahah best to be done in private
Your kid’s gonna watch this one day and be so proud of you!!
"Will he want a margarita when he gets up?" Hahahaha, had me rolling!
You should definitely do a collab with your baby! I love his content, such a fresh perspective!
🤣🤣🤣
@@julienolke He will have a beard in the collab, I have decided.
@@buckiesmalls I could definitely see Ryan George playing the role of her baby at some point. :)
@@davidalearmonth"First person ever to be a baby"
@@julienolkeDONT put the baby online. EVER! Dont be one of those CZcams Moms please for the love of God! Oh and Congrats!
Haha, Mirror Julie is the best. And she gives the answer I have been looking for in the past 25 years, since I became a parent.
Trust your gut!!
yep, margarita from an early age :P
First babies are soooooooo different from any future babies. Every parent goes through this "What the F do I do now?" thing. For us, first baby was preceded by 6 months of prep, buying everything, getting the perfect combination of equipment and baby care books etc etc. Absolute nightmare. Third baby was a case of picking up some nappies (diapers) from a shop on the way home from the hospital, safe in the knowledge that we'd figure everything else out as we needed to. In short....it gets better. Or at least easier. Or at least lazier. Different..er. Have fun!
Introduce them to the things you love so they can become as cool as you. My kiddo now demands to watch Lord of the Rings annually. That didn't happen without stellar parenting.
Love, love your content. My sister's advice is to start saving, not for college, but for therapy for the child when they are older. Then do my best and know he will have help to sort out however I screwed him up 😅
I'll be damned if my kid is wasting money on therapy.
One of my good friends always said she didn’t care what her child did for a living (within the normal realm of legal), as long as she could afford to pay for her own therapy!
make sure the little guy feels secure and loved, as much as you can. have love in your heart and screw the rest.
Congratulations! Holding him and giving him extra cuddles in the first year will improve his emotional development long term. Also, reading to him ten minutes a day for the first five years increases his literacy skills by at least 300% by age 5, and at least 500% by age 7, over kids who are not read to. This is according to my grad school professor from my Early Childhood Education program. I Hope it helps!
Also, you’re so blessed! I’ve been trying for so long!
Love this, all the new parent paranoia. This usually starts when you and your partner get home and for the first time are alone with your new child. Then you share the glance that says 'now what?', and the cliche of 'baby will let you know' kicks in, then your life as you know it is over!
The irony is, the first two months of a baby's life, there's not much to do. They sleep like 70% of the time.
@@SeraphsWitness True, but you spend most of your time just looking at the baby when not doing other tasks :D
@@ChrisByers100 hah maybe. Baby #1 anyway. Lol
@@SeraphsWitness Just if they sleep well. Not all do
They all do. Just not at night. lol@@dmitripogosian5084
I'm really glad you haven't been showing your baby on the internet, protecting his safety and privacy. My respect for you has grown immensely!
The baby’s all over her Instagram
@@gottfriedhub ... Well heck
The existential question...how do we take care of our children! Mirror Julie's advice is pure gold. Congratulations Julie!
Had my guy in May - best advice I’ve heard is “you know best for your baby” and “every day gets easier” … you’re doing fine and you’re hilarious! You and your little one will have so much fun together! ❤
I had my first baby 5 months ago and my best advice is to take care of yourself too. As long as your baby has been fed, changed, safe, and is given attention most of the time, it's okay to take a few minutes to yourself. I gave myself new tears trying to keep the house clean, keep the baby perfectly happy, taking care of my dogs, and it made recovery way harder.
"No matter what, I will always be proud of you."
Seems very simple, but telling your kid this exact phrase on a regular basis really means a lot.
At this stage, feed em, change em, hold em, enjoy em. I've got 5, every one of them was different, so you've got to adapt; not one person ever has all the right answers.
More people need to say this. All kids are different. Just because Mom A has a kid who started sleeping through the night early on doesn’t mean she did anything to make it so. But that mom will tell everyone it’s the norm and make everyone else feel like a bad mom because her methods just aren’t working on our babies. I had 2 who were up all the time. One who put himself to sleep made his own amazing nap schedule. I had no hand in any of that. It’s just who they are.
Congrats! It's a beautiful day. 😊❤
Thank you! 😊
As a kid of the 80s, the line "did you just Mr. Miyagi me?" made me laugh out loud.
And I think it's hilarious and amazing that a therapy company is sponsoring your channel. Good for them for having a sense of humor.
I love the two angles of truth laid out here. I think all decent parents have this internal conversation going on.
That "The First Couple To Ever Have A Baby" sketch hits different now.
Don't stretch yourself thin and dont be afraid to ask for help. I raised a newborn last year my during chemotherapy treatment and I couldn't have gotten through it without the support of family.
Congratulations!!!!!! ❤ Not a parent but the product of great ones. One thing they did that I plan to do when I have kids is have date nights. We would get individual time with mom, one time, dad the next. It would be a movie night at home with popcorn, going to a fast food place (we never ate out) going to a park and kicking the soccer ball or having a picnic, painting our nails, whatever. But we got one on one time with our parents, they got to give us their undivided attention, and it definitely Steve's out relationship I think. It was great and simple. And it doesn't actually have to cost money. Idk if he would like it to be called "date" nights... Maybe a different phrase. You got this!!
I was terrified the first time I was left alone with my daughter-I was sure I was going to overfeed her (kind of impossible to do when you’re breastfeeding) or drop her while I was giving her a bath. It’s normal to be terrified, and you will learn to listen to your instincts. I didn’t agree with a lot of the stuff I read on how to parent, but I listened to my mom’s advice, figuring I had turned out okay, so she must have done mostly the right things. I’ve been an elementary school teacher for 33 years, and kids just need to know that you love them. There is no substitute for spending time with your child and being present for them. Congratulations, you are going to be an awesome mom-a sense of humor is a must!❤️
This is fantastic, had me rolling! #1 piece of parenting advice; be real with your kids. Tell them the truth, that parenting is hard and you don’t always know what to do, but you love them no matter what. Laugh and cry with them, apologize when you feel you messed up, really listen to what they need, and model what it is like to do hard things. You’ve got this!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Apologize when you are wrong, when you yell, when you screw up. And mean it. But don’t over do it, parents get so much guilt piled on them, don’t fall for it, you’re ok.
Love him, feed him, guide him. She got it perfect. That margarita is incredible.
1st rule of parenting,,,Don’t wear a white t-shirt whilst holding the baby.
Ah see I always wear a white t shirt because his spit up is white. That’s how I get away with wearing puke in public
Thanks Julie! Congrats on the baby and congrats on 1 mil subs!
Congratulations!
And drunk you is right.
All you can do is keep them safe, keep them healthy, and try to instill in them the best ideals. You were clearly raised well by good people, so no doubt you're going to raise your child well with those same ideals. :)
Make ya kid feel safe, make it feel loved and expose it to the world's cultures and you're winning.
OMG I love you!! I had this exact conversation with myself after I had both mine! I literally felt like I wrote this. From one Mama to another, your mirror said the truth. It’ll be fine.
But also trust your instincts, but like, not all the time? And also everything is wrong but also perfect? And get some sleep but also be with them 28 hours every day or you suck. And also patriarchy! And self care! And then Montessori and homeschooling but don’t forget socializing and relaxing time…..
lol. Welcome to the world of weird.
Love you!
💕💕💕
Patriarchy. Groan. Don't teach your baby they're oppressed, for God's sake.
Funny to hear from the Patriarchy trying to CYA ;)
@@SeraphsWitnesspsst.. Men are the largest unacknowledged victims of the patriarchy.
Congratulations Julie. This video is so relatable to many of us mom's when we first step into motherhood. You are a great mom already
I was going to say that going to Mirror Julie for parenting advice is like going to a puppy for help with your math homework... But she gave some surprisingly good advice mixed in there somewhere!
I'm sorry, Mirror Julie, I will never underestimate you again until the next time we see you 😁
You say that like "my puppy ate my homework" isn't an excuse.
For when he’s a lil older, Put one of your old Tshirts (that smells of you) on a pillow/cushion and let it “store your hugs” for them. Helps for night time cling avoidance here it’s called the “daddy cushion” and it worked a treat
Congratulations- enjoy every moment. Getting covered in Shtuff is a rights of passage!
Know that you can literally be any kind of mom that you want to be! WFH, SAH, gentle parent, silky mom, crunchy mom, Montessori, public school, working mom, etc etc. Your kids will thrive when YOU are okay, grounded, confident, and at peace. You'll see quickly that the whole house will circle around how you are doing, so if you're not okay or something doesn't feel right to you, just pivot ❤️. Your kid will follow your lead, and if you're okay then he will be okay.
Also, not me seeing your post about Miscarry before you announced that you had the baby, and me frantically looking for clues in recent videos to find out if the baby is okay... 😮💨 Glad you're all doing well, Julie!
A lot of creators on CZcams are now having babies. I can't remember who is pregnant or who are now parents.
Congrats on the baby Julie.
EDIT: I'm sending this video to my brother, whose wife is having a baby this month.
Coming from 30 years in childcare, much of it with infants, the thing I recommend to new mothers is read "The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Karp." And practice the 5 S's. If the baby is colicky, keep gripe water on hand, and sooth their bellies with warm running water gently flowing on their tummy from the sink.
This was a tough lesson for me: Taking care of a newborn is basically a pass/fail assignment. There are things you truly *must* do (feed them, change their diapers, give them a safe place to sleep, ...) and there's really no extra credit for anything else, so give yourself a break.
It’s great to hear about the baby!
Seeing you had made a film called *Miscarriage* had me worried!
Read to your baby. Talk to him like he understands you, and not in baby talk. It makes him smart! And enjoy every phase.
When people ask me what age I enjoyed the most, it was whatever age my kids were at the time. If your favorite age is some other time then you're constantly not enjoying it. Enjoy every single phase; it really does go by way more quickly than you expect.
I'm a psychiatrist, this isn't good advice. Yes you should talk to kids like they understand you. However, "baby talk" is beneficial to kids' cognitive and language development. They respond better to higher pitches and slow, articulated speech. Some people refer to speaking to kids with incorrect grammar/pronunciation as "baby talk", or to avoid complex concepts and abstract ideas, which isn't what I'm referring to here. You should speak to and interact with babies as much as possible about lots of different things. But otherwise, this trend to talk to babies with the intonation and speech patterns of an adult is not beneficial.
We completely agree. My definition of baby talk is the incorrect grammar of a toddler just learning to speak. My daughter does not copy his toddler language. She speaks the correct words. At 2 and a half, he speaks better than many adults I know.
My experience was that most advice comes from people who have never had children themselves (or who screwed up badly when they did). We're hardwired by evolution to (on average) do OK, so as long as you don't dangle your offspring out of a window you'll likely be fine. Most important thing: even when you're totally exhausted, enjoy every moment. One of my most touching moments was when my then-four-year-old daughter was in the middle of a huge meltdown because she couldn't fasten the buttons on her favorite lemon-colored dress. I held her gently and fastened her buttons for her while she screamed at me about how much she hated me. And yet, there she was, in my arms, letting me fasten the buttons on her dress and not pushing me away as she'd have done if the words had been anything more than an expression of tired frustration. Two days later we were sitting together at the top of the stairs and she was sharing confidences with me. It all goes by so very quickly (I know, everyone says that) so it's essential to avoid being sucked into transient drama and instead simply follow your best instincts, see the larger picture (e.g. all things will pass - some out of the anus, of course) and feel how precious each moment is. Even the seemingly crap ones.
As a human who has successfully parented multiple cats over many years, my Top 2 Tips are: keep the food dish full & the litter box clean. Beyond that, they pretty much take care of themselves... 😊👍
Also, CONGRATULATIONS!!! 🎉
I remember being overwhelmed by all the information given to me as a first-time mother. But I found if I listened to my instincts it became very easy to determine what advice to follow. Every mom is different and so is every child. Do what works and feels right for your family.
My advice to all parents: Get a book. You’ll have lots of questions, what does this mean, how do I handle that, and a book will have lots of answers. Having a resource to lean on, like a book, that doesn’t nag but is always available, can be helpful. And if you find that you don’t like the answers your book gives, throw it out and get a different book. There’s lots of good ways to raise a kid. You’ll develop your own instincts and need the book less frequently.
Make sure his needs are met. Feed him, keep him clean, and give him a lot of attention. Hold him, and show him that he is loved. And sing to him, baby's love that.
One real nugget of wisdom in here...you will fuck up your kid. Well, more to the point, the world will fuck up your kid. Mixed messages, so much pulling for his attention, tension between his wants and his needs as you see them...every kid is fucked up by their parents. I saw that over 33 years of teaching. I never had kids of my own, that's how much my own parents fucked me up but I am very close with them now. You're going to be a great parent, you have a sense of humor and, more importantly, you care.
Never be afraid to apologize when you mess up. And never be afraid to say ‘I don’t know the answer to that question, let’s find out!’ Making yourself fallible and therefore approachable from a young age is the biggest gift you can give yourself for when your kid reaches an age where they have to choose to come to you in order for you to help them.
HOORAY! THE OFFICIAL ANNOUCEMENT VIDEO!!!
Thank goodness! I was starting to get worried!
Congratulations Julie! may blessings continue upon you and your family! XoXoX
Congratulations and don’t worry just learn to say no and he’ll be fine
Let your boy do whatever he wants when he is a little kid, after he starts walking. Don't stop him from splashing in puddles, playing in dirt, even eating bugs. Every time you tell him no, or stop him from doing things (puddle splashing), you are squelching his natural curiosity. Kids learn so much in the first three years of life, it is important to facilitate their curiosity, which will expand their knowledge base. If you know a second language use it when he is little. Bilingual kids perform better in school. Congratulations @julienolke, you will be a great mom. I'm rooting for you!
Dad of a 1 year old. It is a platitude but, being there is half the battle. They are not going to give you much feedback for the fist 3 months and then it's just amazing to see them explore the world and see their personality. You are going to laugh harder than you have ever laugh before. Lack of sleep in not joke though so sleep whenever you get a chance.
My baby just turned one, and the best piece of advice I can give is this.
Don't overthink it.
By the "mommy blogger" BS standards, I did everything wrong. I didn't breastfeed, I never did sleep training, and we exclusively contact napped until 8 months. We didn't do baby led weaning. And yet here we are today. She's healthy, eating solids, sleeping through the night, napping independently, and has met all her milestones early so far. Listen to your doctor and a few trusted sources and your own instinct. You are always doing better than you think you are. You got this 💪
We love the Lovevery boxes for our son. I recommend them. They send age appropriate boxes so you don't have to think about what toys are appropriate now. They also provide a book explaining what the baby is working on during that age. Very helpful for first time parents! Also, very durable toys that can be used for future kids as well.
The fact that you care enough to ask is enough of a sign that you will do just fine :).Caring is the first step towards doing a good job @julienolke . First 6 months will be a blur, baby doesn't do much or need much other than the usual feeding and diaper changes. Try to savor and remember the cute moments. You got this!!!
The number one thing in my opinion is that the kids must KNOW that their parents love them.
That one thing opens the door to all other good things.
Congrats! My wife and I had our first a few months ago. It's possibly life's greatest blessing.
Gotta say, I love Momma Cusses' takes on parenting, 100%! She's so real about parenting, and about managing your family relationships without beating yourself up.
You already know what to do, feed him, protect him, be involved, but not too involved. Be a parent, not a friend. Discipline is a good thing, abuse is not. Don't be afraid to be hated, but always love him. Stand strong and you'll be okay.
Congratulations! Enjoy him time goes by so fast.
A huge congrats Julie and welcome to the boymom club! So glad your son is doing better. The first year is just keeping them alive, that’s key. After that, show them how important and valued they are by modeling love for yourself first. Yes you will 100% eff it up. The sooner you surrender to that the better. ❤️💖 Oh, and stay away from mommy bloggers! 😁
Modeling love for yourself is wonderful advice
@@cariiinen 💖🙏
My late mother would very often tell me that, as long as they always know they are loved (and have all their needs), the other parts can be tackled as they come along.
So I just make sure my girls always know that I love them, even when I am angry at them or annoyed by their behavior.
Just give him all the love! And congratulations. No instruction manual, but I am sure you’ll get the hang of it!
We had baby #2 2 weeks ago. Your advice to yourself that they're gonna be who they're gonna be is spot on. Even though mirror mirror is a recurring character I hope this is your next hit skit! Also welcome baby Nolke ❤ fingers crossed you're another Canadian treasure like your mom.
I love these convos with Mirror Julie. We all have our moments like this where we question ourselves and have uncertainty, about parenting and everything else. Sometimes it's easier to give a pep talk to someone else than it is to cheer ourselves when we're unsure of something. Introspection like this is something we all should practice.
I asked my doctor what I was supposed to do with my baby when she released me from the hospital. She laughed. That was 15 years ago and I'm still not sure some days. Congratulations!
I have a 15 month old and it felt so clear from the early days - he's not mine, I'm just overwhelmingly lucky to get to love him and guide him in this world. He belongs to himself, and it's my job to look after him and make it clear to him that he can be whoever he wants to be. That's started with never posting him online (which it looks like you're doing too 😊) - embarrassing himself on social media is his choice to make, like it was mine to share my teenage angst on MySpace 😂
The thing that has my dad the biggest respect. Is admiting when he is wrong. My dad sometimes had a temper. Even growing up i wasnt very sensitive. My dad basically always came to me and appologized if he ever got too angry.
Teaching kids to admit when wrong is one of the most important things. So much ignorance happens because people cant admit when wrong. Im the type that quickly will admit im wrong as soon as i realize it. And i appreciate when im corrcted. Its my most humble trait. Which is good since lack of bragging isnt 😂 i believe thats more important.
Teach them what they need and also what they are curious about. I wanted to know how to cook so my dad let me practice, 4 years/200 Tuesdays since that started I moved out fully capable of cooking for myself. To teach me to save he said 'anything you manage to save until the end of this year, I will double it.' When I was interested in languages I got the needed support to try a few out before I landed on one I really wanted to learn, they didn't complain I dropped 3/4 languages I tried, but celebrated the one I dedicated to. Taking tests in school is not unimportant, but there's basically no life experience or deep knowledge gained there. So teach them at home, show them, let them feel safe to ask questions. Sorry, this is a pretty serious reply on a Julie Nolke video, but I do genuinely wish the best for you and the little one!
Thsi video was funny, sometimes sarcastic but also just really really nice. There's a low probability of me becoming a parent anytime soon and even less that i would be the mom, but I can imagine how it could help young parents feel better.
I have no parenting experience, but I do have a ton of trauma from my parents doing what you shouldn’t, so my advice to is to give him lots of love and make sure he knows that he’ll be loved no matter what and make sure he knows that he can always come to you with any problems. If you’ve got these two things you’ve got a good start.
Number one piece of parenting advice:
Love him so much that he never forgets that you love him
Edit: Oh, after now watching the video in full😅 See that you already got that advice. Why did I thought that question was serious?! I think I forgot who's channel I was on.❤ Julie, you rock!
Congratulations on the new baby! Your mirror self is actually right--do your best; its the best you can do.
Best parenting advice I can give:
- nose frida saves lives
-ready to wake clocks starting at 18 months saved me
- get them to love the song “thunder” by imagine dragons and play it during every thunderstorm. Doesn’t matter if you like the song, it’s better than terrified children.
- sometimes screens rot their brains, but sometimes they are a saving grace. Use them without guilt when you need them.
- if they want their hair to be short, get it cut by a professional before they cut it themselves.
Best advice from college Family & Child Studies based on the work of Erikson's Trust vs Mistrust. Studies recorded how many times children cried in the first 2 years. Those that were picked up every time they cried in the first 6 months cried less than those that were not. Before 6 months children lack the ability to manipulate. If they are crying then they are hungry, tired, wet, or scared. AFTER 6 months is when they start to cry to see if you will come. At that point its ok to start teaching them they wont always get what they want. They are learning if they have a need, will the world come to their aid. Basically optimism vs pessimism.
It worked GREAT with my 3 whoe are now grown. It is ALOT of work, but worth the investment of time and energy. Congratulations and remember to take deep breaths! ❤
Congrats!
Number one Find a parents as teachers program. Check your local elementary school. They will make house visits and help you with your child. And make sure they're meeting the proper developmental milestones at the proper time.❤
Two - remember your children looks to you for cues on how to behave. We were teaching our children to walk when they fell down we would laugh and they would laugh with us. Then they would get up and try again. There was an unexpected consequence to this though. Our first son would fall on purpose to make us laugh.😂
Didn’t read all the comments, but those that I did were good!! …anywho, as a dad of two: TAKE A LOT OF PICTURES. They change in a matter of days and the memories of the pics is priceless. Good luck and enjoy the moments!!!
GK Chesterton on parenting: "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly."
I had an hour-long deep conversation with my 13-year-old daughter just last night about dating, relationships, emotions, love, etc. We talked the philosophy of Karol Wojtyla from his "Love and Responsibility", we looked at the role of emotions in love (excellent servant, terrible master), she shared stuff about her friends, being socially awkward, being yourself, not being yourself- all the questions kids of that age are dealing with. I am happy to exchange any luxury, travel, convenience, and surplus income to have conversations like that. I have 4 kids, she's the oldest.
"The days are long, but the years are short" is brutally true.
God love you, Julie, and your baby.
This is the best time for love, cuddles and bonding!
Also, babies are wildly unpredictable little gremlins and trying to impose any rhyme or reason on their routine or schedule…it’s more frustration than it’s worth lol.
They fall into their own patterns naturally, just lower any expectations for getting anything done and go with the flow! ❤
My best advice is don't take too much advice. Everyone has an opinion about what you should do but trust your instincts. Started out my parenting journey buying books about sleep training and teaching your baby to read and by the third kid was holding a reflux y baby on the couch for hours while I ate icecream and watched TV. They all seem to be turning out just fine.
Congratulations Julie!! Best wishes! You’re going to be a great Mom!! If you care enough to wonder, you’re on the right track to be the best mom!!
Oh man is this spot on, I felt so unqualified when we brought the baby home the first time.
As someone else not out of the woods yet, this is great advice. Love, protect the head, keep screen time to a minimum, get outdoors with them, enjoy that amazing sense of wonder, and love. You don't realize how little control you have in life until this, but it has absolutely been worth it. Also, I think the baby has Mirror's eyes...um...
You got this Julie!! I am sure you rock as a parent!!!!