The Deafening Silence - Stillbirth through a Mother's eyes.
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- čas přidán 9. 12. 2013
- A film commissioned by the charity Abigail's Footsteps about stillbirth through the eyes of a mother. Aimed at midwives and any other staff that work in a maternity ward to help them better understand good and bad practice in relation to a stillbirth or neo-natal death. Bereavement training will be offered to interested parties via our training partner Child Bereavement UK. Please visit www.abigailsfootsteps.co.uk/ if you would like to know more about the charity or make a donation.
Thank you all for watching the film and for your comments. I am delighted to report that the film has already been used in a training scenario. A team of 35 student midwives watched the film last week in one of their first lectures as part of a days training about bereavement, and then spent the whole day discussing the film. With your help hopefully every midwife in the UK will see this film.
Some won't approve of it, some won't agree with the contents (which are all factually true) and some won't want to learn from it and become better midwives.
The vast majority however will take something away from this film and may even seek further bereavement training. One way or another though this film will make a difference as everyone who sees it will adapt their behaviour, many without realising that they are doing it. So please share the link with other mums and ask them to show it to their midwife.
Lets start to make some noise about stillbirth and neo-natal death and no longer feel ashamed to talk about our children. Lets also help our friends and family's understand how we feel, and make them understand that it is ok to talk about our baby, also for them to realise that time won't heal our broken hearts or that by having another child everything will be ok because it won't.
In memory of Abigail Ward born asleep April 29th 2009
RIP our beautiful little Angel. Out of sight but never out of our hearts or minds xxx
Holy shite, I lost a baby......I was on the implant and didn't know I was pregnant until I was losing the baby.
At that time I was a heavy drinker, no doubt that was what terminated my child😥
I screamed for my partner and he held me as I sobbed "I'm so sorry, our baby!!"
He was a very abusive partner but at that moment he was the most beautiful, sweet, and nurturing person on the planet.
We're no longer together but he stopped his abusive ways, he changed, we are now friends.........we are both wrecked by what happened.
💔
I gave birth to my stillborn son 25 years ago i was nine months pregnant and two weeks to my due date. the pain is still as fresh as it was then. I don’t have a memory box it wasn’t offered. I will never forget my son. Watching this helped me realize I never fully grieved the loss of him. So now I’m gonna work through it. Thank you for this video.
How are things going? Have you done any mental health work this year?
I am so sorry. There are no words to help such a terrible tragedy. We lost our full term baby girl during delivery last Thanksgiving Day. We know and understand your tremendous grief. As a mother of a buried newborn child, it is almost impossible to get through every day and remember to breathe. The overwhelming grief is almost unbearable. 💔
I also believe that if they know it's a still birth the mother shouldn't have to give birth in a maternity ward with the sound of other babies... that can't be good psychologically
Yes! They should have another ward for them.
They usually have special rooms opposite side of the hospital for them...
@@thecupcakequeen101 my sister was in a different ward so she couldn't hear babies cry. She had a rose on the door so the staff would know what she was going through.They took such good care of her. Physically and emotionally.
Not all hospitals do this though. They are rooming in the NICU with a leaf/teardrop picture on their door meaning they lost a baby.
Believe me that was the worst thing i went through after i delivered my boy all the crying sounds of the babies made me cry so much
I wore headphones and sweatshirt with hoodie just to avoid it’s not and something needs to change
My daughter was born sleeping in 2018. I know the feeling of not wanting to give birth vaginally. I had a C section since my daughter is in a transverse position. I requested for a general anesthesia instead of a spinal block as I am afraid of the defeaning silence that will follow after the baby was out. I spent the rest of the week crying in the OB ward. I had 4 miscarriages after that birth. Fast forward April 2023. I just gave birth to my miracle rainbow baby. She's small and is a preemie because I have preeclampsia but she is strong and is a fighter. Her middle name is Hope because that is what kept me going and holding on.
I just went through this 5 days ago. I pray no mother ever has to deal with this as its the most excruciating thing on earth. May God bless all of the Mommy's coming here because they went through it.
Christina Nicole I'm so sorry Christina. I just went through this 7 weeks ago. The worst feeling in the world. I also wish noone ever had to deal with this kind of pain.
Me too. Thanks for sharing :(
So sorry for your lost😢 I know extactly how this feels and I pray you find the strength to get through it God bless💋
Sorry for your loss xxxx
I am so sorry for your loss
My mother was told by her doctor that my little brother didn't have a heartbeat, but she didn't feel right about it, went to another doctor for a second consultation. And found put my little brother was still alive and well. Today my little bro is 20. My heart out to all you mums, I couldn't imagine losing my son.
I gave birth to my stillborn son 2 weeks ago today. I am set back by how similar this video is to my story. Almost to the tee. What she was saying; “my baby, my baby”, thinking she felt movement after the baby had passed, telling my husband I’m sorry, even the cleaning lady telling her it will be okay!!!! When I was registering at the desk, the lady said “Don’t be sad, this is a happy day!”... she had no idea. I also wanted a c-section at first because I didn’t think I could go through child birth and not have a living baby as the outcome, but I ended up having a natural birth and I wouldn’t change it for the world. The only difference is that I wanted to see him from the get go. I wanted to hold him, kiss him, love him.. and I did. 😔💙 I love this video.
I had my baby boy on June 6th 😞 I want him back so bad I feel ur pain if u would like to talk to me I think that would be great.
Taylor Kellie I am so terribly sorry for your loss it is a club that no one wants to belong to. But we do. And it never ever goes away
Taylor Kellie
I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
I know my mom had 2 miscarriages before she had my brother and me. I can’t even imagine how much this hurts, I’m so sorry you went through this!
Taylor Kellie I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain that you felt and is still feeling. When my older son was born, he wasn’t breathing. He needed oxygen and CPR. His apgar score was very low. It was touch and go. Thank God he was okay in the end, and It was absolute torture waiting to see if the baby was ok. I can’t imagine going through what you are.
I went through a stillbirth 46 years ago, I can tell you the pain never goes away
What really struck me the most was the silence after the birth. Very profound and heartbreaking. My condolences to everyone who has been through this sad experience.
My 1st baby girl was stillborn at 36weeks, 17 months ago. I have no idea why I decided to watch this as every single moment my heart broke again & again with tears streaming down my face. To anyone who is going through this agony, this pain. Stay strong. I'm proud of you for getting out of bed today or even waking up, I know how unbelievably hard it is. You are not alone ❤
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry. Unfortunately, we can sympathize and understand your unbearable pain and grief. We lost our first baby, our precious Beatrice Grace, at 43 weeks, 9.5 months ago. I couldn't wait to see our baby. I stared at her for two days straight in the hospital before having to hand her over to the mortician. I would have held her the whole time if her tone would have allowed it. We kept her next to us, dressed in a little pink princess gown, on a cold cart the hospital provided for us. My heart has broken every day since, and it is almost impossible to breathe some days. My empty arms ache with overwhelming grief and pain. I am so sorry for all of the parents who have or will ever bury their baby. I understand your agony and I am so sorry.
I gave birth to my 28 weeks stillborn baby girl three weeks ago. This video represents so well how I felt. I’ll be doing her funeral next week. I pray for all the mothers going through this and their babies in heaven
I too lost my 9month pregnancy 7years ago. A babygirl. It still pains me. And the worst part is not having mental support, and husband gets a baby with another woman
Who would have EVER imagined giving birth to a stillborn? To carry him for 9 whole months, preparing myself for the change and the welcoming of motherhood. All left within a blink of an eye... I had my 1st child June 13 2013 n he was bornstill. I miss my Prince Bryson everyday of my life. The pain, the questions, the hurt are still here. I love this video its so REAL and everyone seems to be so silent about stillborn babies. But it happens! The silence needs to be broken. I never thought it would happen to me neither was I aware that it existed. But I miss my prince bryson so much. True I lost a child but I gained my own angel💜💜💜💜
My beautiful little Samuel was born asleep on October 18, 2016 at exactly 36 weeks. This week has been tough on me because tomorrow was his due date. He is my first born. I loved him so much. The days are slowly getting better but when people ask if I'm okay I tell them physically, yes. emotionally, yes and no. Some hours are better than others. I will always miss my little boy.
It has been over 40 years since my first child, my daughter , passed away. My heart still aches for her. So, do not worry. A Mother's Heart Never Forgets 💜
I think
I gave birth to my sleeping daughter at this hospital in December. They were all such an incredible team and made my experience that little bit less painful
How beautiful and tragic. I am the mother of a stillborn daughter, I cried the whole time, the look in her eyes...I know that look, at one time it was staring back at me. Prayers to all mothers and fathers who has suffered such a horrific loss. Thank you for doing this with such care and love! IT IS TIME that the world know what we have suffered! God Bless.
i am glad i have not been there but still it is saddening
It’s unbelievable that 7 babies a day are born as precious angels. 7 families going through this trauma every day. My prayers are with all the grieving parents now & in the future.
This is also a good representation of the Father's grief & loss too.
I have been there too. So so sad.
So sorry for your loss {{HUGS}}
My husband always said people tend to forget that for the father it is losing a baby plus being afraid for the mother's well-being. We felt people dealt with him like he is just a bystander, when in reality he was in as much pain as I was.
@@arianealassaf5008 That's a great point.
So sorry for your loss...the only reason I can think of for the medical staff being more focused on the mother's grief is the fact that she has to go through labor which is so damn hard even when you know you'll be taking your baby home...I can't even start to understand what it must be like when you know you won't. Loads of strength to you both...
Beautiful video. Coming from a mother who has held her baby as she died... one thing that really bothers me is when people say "well atleast you know you can get pregnant". I didn't want to be pregnant with another baby. I wanted MY baby. And... one should know not to ask... "Are you ok?" Of course she's not ok. Her precious baby has passed away. What a grieving mother wants to hear is. Also... unless you have been through this... don't say "I know how you must feel", because you don't know.
My first baby girl was born just shy of 21 weeks weighing only 14 oz. She was so precious. I didn't know that what I had been experiencing the 12 hrs before her birth was labor. I've had 2 births since her, and the labor with my first was much different. It wasn't as painful. I didn't hardly have any pain, except in my heart. I will never ever forget her. May our little angels RIP. I like thinking that she's in a better place, but sometimes I think that better place is in my arms... experiencing my love. I guess we have both just been blessed with angels. RIP Desiree (my daughter) & Claire.
Claire was my daughter that passed 26 years ago this March 17th, I was full term, you go through every minute, , I will always think of every mother that has, and will have to go through the sadness, and what people will say, she/he will always be in be in your heart... Always x
So very true 😢😢😢😢😢 Hugs to you.
If you read the description this is actually a training video showing good and bad practices
heidi g they really say that that is ignorant people these days have no respect for others espcially when you go through a still birth oh well look at it like this you can have another one is cruel sorry about the years being so long i just happened to see it i am just so so sorry i was watching a program ne day and they happened to say so they made you have the baby vaginally well i think they said they should have done a c-section it is not right for a still born to be born that way that is true to i know how you must feel know they don't unless they have been through it them selves i have 2 boys i had no pain at all just pressure i get to the room and he said he is starting to come out my younger one i had to have a c-section so neither one of them i had no pain
So true,i had recently gone through it,but now I'm afraid if it'll happen next time also.
People can't feel my pain,after my stillbirth i feel lonely,
I never knew my son had passed until I gave birth to him, he was two days over due !! :(
I cant stop crying now
R.I.P Corey-Taylor
I was one of the 35 in the class of student midwives that watched this video. The reaction to the midwives comments about giving priority to women with lives births was shocking to us too, but a reminder of how sometimes people may speak before they think. This video has been done so brilliantly and is something we are all still thinking about a month after watching, it makes us think about the kind of midwives that we want to be and how we can be more compassionate to others when faced with such difficult situations. I am truly sorry for every person that has gone or will go through this
They never say why she was stillborn. I really didn't like the comment that one nurse made about her being able to have more children. That's the last thing a grieving mother wants to hear.
Sometimes it just happens with no real answer unless a postmortem examination is done. An autopsy should be done to find what happened. I would let them do that to know what happened. I personally don't want kids because many things can happen. Like a stillbirth
I wish I would have had a nurse like that. Instead everyone I encountered was like the 1 that said "at least you know you can get pregnant". Or "at least it happened now, instead of later". Or "You can try again". The hardest part was hearing the babies crying across the hall, knowing that mine wasn't going to. I ended up with an emergency c-section. I was told I wouldn't want to see my son, and I figured they knew what was best, so I didn't. I had no photo's taken. It has been 16 years and I have regretted it every day. I do hope this video helps others. Thank you for being willing and strong enough to be able to share your story in the hopes of helping strangers all over the world. I cried the entire time. It has gotten easier, but the pain never completely goes away. THANK YOU!!!!!
Sorry for your loss and that you didn't get to see him.
😭I am so so very sorry
So sorry Edna. I see you wrote this comment 7 years ago now so a lot has changed in 23 years in regards to stillbirth and how mothers are treated.
the mothers acting was marvelous!!!
My baby girl was stillborn 11 weeks today at full term. Yes, some of those comments like at least you can get pregnant again is a really insult to us mothers who have lost children. May all our angel babies watch over us.
This happened to my dear grandmother 3 times before doctors realized they needed to take her babies during the 8th month cesarean section allowing her to have my uncle and mother. She was the whole world to me and she never truly got over her 3 “sleeping” babies as she called them. Back then they rushed the babies out of her room and refused to even tell her the sex. I can’t imagine the pain of not knowing. Then, decades later we just saw our daughter through the same thing with our beautiful granddaughter, Ada Rose. Although hospitals are so much more sensitive now, even placing a rose on her door to indicate to staff her baby was deceased, still she had to hear the cries of other babies down the hall. I feel they should have a small wing in maternity for this situation. Watching this was so powerful and took me right back to the day our daughter gave birth. I’m so sorry to all those watching whose babies are not living. I pray peace over all of you. 🙏 💔
After watching this I've never cried so hard because I've experienced the loss of my daughter and I miss her every day but I realized my beautiful angel is watching over me.
I've just had a stillbirth 3 weeks ago , Oct 6th and this video just broke my heart. "You never expect it to be your life until it becomes your life"!
I couldn’t imagine. I hope all of you here are healing okay. I’m a man and didn’t have to go through this, but god this world is so cruel and no one deserves this. Lots of love to you incredibly strong women.
I know exactly how she felt. I too had a stillborn and it's exactly the way she explained it in this video. Today he would've been 27 years old and I never ever forgot him. I have 3 children and am now a grandma:) I have a grand-daughter born in Feb. and a grandson born in April. Life has gone on but the memory still remains in my soul forever.
I'm 29 weeks pregnant with my second baby girl and this was not the smartest thing to watch.
My heart goes out to all the mothers and fathers who have gone through this, I could never imagine the pain.
How did ur labour go ?
I watched it while i was pregnant too
Your baby is now 5 years old 🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰
I'm watching this 31 weeks pregnant too. Terrified this happens sometimes and so saddened for the women having to go though this.
the actors gave such a moving and raw performance. .. tears.
This felt more real than anything I've ever seen on this subject. Amazing portrayal of such unimaginable pain. God bless the nurses who show such tenderness. I hope many view this film. We have never experienced a still birth, but have had four miscarriages and two ectopics with one living child. The responses of nurses and doctors were so varied, and I will forever be thankful for the ones who showed compassion in our hardest moments.
This is actually how it feels to find out that your baby passed. My princess was 37 weeks when we found out. Thank you for this video. R.I.P. Arianna 2-4-17. Mommy loves you.
I just buried my twin stillborns a few days ago. It's definitely not something you want to have to go through alone.
Bless your heart
sending so much love to you xxx
I'm so sorry, l am a twin.
This is exactly what my daughter and son in law went through a year ago yesterday at 38 weeks. Her C-section was scheduled in 2 weeks. 😞Our Grandaughter Michaela was so beautiful. ❤️ My heart goes out to everyone here whom all have beautiful angels now. 💔 No one should ever have to hear those words of “I can’t find a heartbeart”…not ever. 😢
Grandparents grieve for their grandchild and also for their children.
Nobody understands this type of pain until they themselves go through it..you feel so maternal the moment you find out you're expecting, you can already imagine them running around in your house, growing up healthy, your husband so proud to be a daddy, and you so fulfilled as a woman...and then it all just disappears...Just like that..doctors can't even tell you why..and they don't consider you high risk until you've gone through this pain more than twice...you have to go on living miserably watching all your friends get pregnant, deal with hurtful inconsiderate comments from people you love..This is one of the worst pains one can experience...feels just like a sword going right through your soul...
It hurts emotionally so bad. I had 3 miscarriages and I was crushed. I carried my first 4 months. I’m sure losing a child at the end of pregnancy is devasting. I had a deformed uterus from birth, Bicarnerate. It was repaired. Three years later no pregnancy. We adopted a 3 week old precious little girl and I got pregnant. Had a boy 8 months later.
@@sallyseibert9205 I’m so sad for the loss of your three children. Nothing and no one can replace the loss because each pregnancy is an individual life with it’s own dreams and possibilities. I don’t think we ever “get over it “ but with time we learn to live with the acuteness of the pain and life goes on eventually. Even after the blessed birth of my five living children I still feel the loss of my first child.
I've been there, the pain is piercing. I lost my son too, July 9th wld have made his second year on earth. Am grateful to God for the strength. I knw God will one day give me another son.
Hits so close to home.....My beautiful daughter suffered 6 losses before our miracle rainbow grandson came. Struggling with fertility and many losses would bring many to their knees. Our grandson is such a joy and blessing and so many losses. We never forget the ones lost.
I had a similar situation happen with my wife and me. Giving birth to a stillborn… great video it’s hard to watch there are so many similarities. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced this like us.
Can see myself in the video. Month ago had a stillbirth. I was 8 months pregnant. My baby girl is in heaven. The process is hard, will never wish it on someone to go through this. Love her with all my heart. To baby Glory 🙏🙏
My baby girl was stillborn 6 years ago. Worst moment of my life, but the best because I got to hold her. Her ashes are on my fire place and she is forever in my heart 😢❤
When she says am sorry there is no heartbeat your whole world crushes the pain runs through ur body and u freeze in time almost as if u want to belive is not true '
Thank you for making this film. I lost my first born (a son) 31 years ago, at term, and yes, the silence was deafening. Glad to know films are being made to help people talk about their experiences. When I was going through the birthing process in the hospital, the physical and emotional pain all together was overwhelming and I was moaning quite loudly during contractions. The nurses seemed upset because my grief was being heard out in the hall and parents in nearby rooms.They came in and told me several times that I needed to reduce my volume and calm down...they didn't try to help me except to give me a paper bag, they mostly just admonished me. I remember telling myself that it was ok, that my body was doing what it needed to do.
Walking into my home with empty arms, as I returned from the hospital was the saddest moment of my life. I still couldn't believe John was gone. I just went straight to my bedroom to cry. When I entered, the sun was beaming in and surrounded me with warmth and although I continued to cry I somehow received a sense of deep comfort and peace.That's when I knew that he was with me still and would be for the rest of my life.
what a powerful and beautiful film. I am a student midwife and my class of 25 fellow students were shown this today, we were all in tears. It highlighted so many issues and made for a very emotive and valuable discussion afterwards. As midwives this is the part of our job that is inevitable; we dread it, and yet we strangely hope to be involved someday, because we just want to be there for a family, whether it be in good circumstances, or devastating ones; we just want to give care and help. Your film is wonderful. I hope it makes a difference to many more.
Thank you for your very kind comments. Can I ask where you study please?
David Ward Hi David, We are at University of Central Lancashire in Preston. 3rd Year students. A very brilliant guest speaker bereavement midwife showed us this film. She had just an hour to talk to us and felt that your film would teach us so much. She wasn't wrong. Thank you for making this.
I have a daughter. Watching films like this makes me feel so hurt how mothers out in the world who can bare a child, but cannot experience a life with them because the Lord called them to the gates; and I have a healthy live baby. Makes me a lucky parent , but yet makes me feel sad how mothers go through this..
I honestly think I wouldn't have handled it strongly like she did.. R.I.P Claire/Clare ❤
Even as a RN,C I am sobbing watching this very delicate film. I have worked all areas of practice, in a hospital, but only with adults. I have also worked in "comfort care", and always felt so privileged, being a compassionate nurse, to comfort & support the patient & their families during the dying process. However, I could never work in pediatrics, or OB/GYN. That was just too heartbreaking for me. I was required to rotate to that area as a student. It was devastating for me. I can't even imagine the mental torture of knowing your precious baby has passed in the womb, then having to carry the pregnancy, until birth. That grief, & pain has to be unbearable. My prayers go out to any woman that is going through this, or have already endured this.
Danni 💟
I have been working in Intensive care unit with very sick and dying babies for many years, and also been a group leader, for parents that have lost their children. I have often got the question, how can you choose to work with something like that?! Well, the answer is easy. I would have wanted to have a nurse that had both experience with similar situations, and that showed that she understood my pain, with me if this happened to me or someone I loved. I believe I have both, and I feel it's actually a gift I have been given. Being able to be there for others in their darkest days. Helping them to see their child, to touch it, hold it and make memories. I also have a camera with me, and I take photos in black and white, that I edit and give to the parents. Sometimes it take years before they want the photos, but so far they have all wanted them in the end.
I've never lost a baby, I have 2 beautiful children that I can hold in my arms and cuddle. I know friends who have lost children and I can not imagine how hard it is everyday, knowing all the things they are missing. This made me cry, and appreciate my gifts. To everyone who has lost a baby or child, you amaze me with your strength.
I am so sorry for any woman that has to go through this. Unfortunately, this is happening all too often. If you have suffered through this...my prayers go out to you. Blessings and healing.
So heartbreakingly true. The pain is still there even nearly 6 years on. I can still remember every single emotion we went through when we found out that first Granddaughter has fallen asleep in her Mummy's tummy and my then when she gave birth to her beautiful sleeping angel on Mothers day in 2008. She now has 2 rainbow babies but we all still remember and miss our angel Shayla. ALWAYS LOVED AND NEVER EVER FORGOTTEN Grandma xxx
I cannot stopping my tear flooding...
As a midwife to face to a stillbirth, I understand I have to, I must be strong enough so that I am able to support those parents-to-bes...
It's never been easier but we, midwives, can make it better at the end, because of this, our care must stay on the best standard.
Very emotional and moving. i am currently 35 weeks pregnant and feeling my baby move as I type this. I feel so sorry for all family who have to go through this. Absolutely heartbreaking, however I do like the ending of having another child crying in the background, its almost a little boost of hope. I'm glad she was able to have her motherhood experience and did not give up.
Wow I don't think I would have had the nerve to watch that while pregnant. You're brave! I would've been afraid something would've happened to my baby or something......silly maybe but still.....
After watching this & crying because me & her went through the same exact thing. No mother should ever have to experience this. This is one of the hardest things to ever have to go through. I'm sorry for those who have lost a lil one to! I kno how you feel & this clip couldn't show it any better! Rip to my 6 week old daughter amyiah, mommy loves you! 2.12.14
I cried my eyes out, I remember leaving hospital without my baby boy Oliver xx my heart goes out to everyone who's lost their little angels xx
45 years ago for me. Just like yesterday. I remember the other mothers' having their babies. I was moved to a private room afterwards. I remember the nurses...one who came to my room and hugged me. No memory box; no grave. Awkwardness after going home and back to work. No one knew what to say.
This is so heartwrenching :( I hope that this lovely couple has since been blessed with their rainbow baby. ♥
My sisters baby boy died in the womb after 6mths gestation, it was heart breaking for her going through labour knowing baby Andrew was going to be stillborn.... So desperately sorry for any one having to go through this...
"I can't find the heartbeat, but try to relax". Yeah, that's what I would do. This must be the most heart-wrenching thing to go through.
This is filmed in my local hospital, I have walked those halls in a very similar manner. I lost my baby at 17 weeks and it was the worst thing to ever happen in my life. Seeing this depiction and knowing it is actually filmed in the very hospital I discovered I lost my baby it is hard to watch. It's not something I would wish on my worst enemy. My mother in law had her second son as a stillborn and then went on to have my partner. There is light. I have also since had 3 children and walked these halls with the most incredible memories. This has me in tears and I cannot even believe that this is something parents face so often. My heart goes out to everyone facing this and similar situations. Better times are to come, I promise. ♡♡♡
We lost our first son he was born the first day of 26 weeks he was so tiny less then 1lb. he was perfect, he lived for about six minutes his name was Jacob, it took years for me to understand and accept things but he is still our first born son and I love him just as much as I love our other three children. Back when I had him we couldn't stay with him like you can now with the chilled cots and things. but I will never forget how perfect he was and that's how I remember him. I love you Jacob forever and always.
J Diquattro sounds like my story as well. Most devastating day of my life... Sorry for your loss 💔
J Diquattro
I am so sorry for your loss. God bless.
I am so sorry for your loss. Jacob is a beautiful name.
I wourk in childcare, and though I am not a mother, i know many women who have been through this. A child in my class just went through this with their family . I had to watch, and learn so that I could find a way to be supportive and what i can do to help those that went though this loss. My heart breaks for all the mothers who have lost
I was one of those mothers that heard the dreadful words "I am sorry, there isno rhythmic heartbeat, she is gone". Words you never want to hear, your heart feels like it drops in a sea of darkness as it shatters. I wish no one ever had to experience these type of loss.
bawling my eyes out, my mom had a stillbirth at 9 months the babys cord wrapped around her neck, it scarred my mother for life and now i have a little bit of insight of what she went through and my heart breaks for her.
on the 20th jan 1984 my little girl died soon after birth we didnt see her alive as i was in intensive care through a hospital blunder she was our little princess her name was Cheryl this year she would have been .32 years old i went on to have a boy and a girl but sadly also lost a baby boy inbetween at 5 months of pregnancy. Cheryl had a full funeral and we have a picture of her in our living room which proudly sits next to her brother and sisters photos. she is never forgotton and always spoken of she will be with me till my dying day and beyond this film brought so much back to me and is a great way to inform people as it is a taboo subject well done for doing this it was so needed.
I cried so much watching this moving depiction. Just praying for all mothers and fathers to be comforted in their time of need. No one should ever go through this. This is just so emotional for me.
I'm in my second year of training to be a midwife watching this and have spread the word to all other midwives I know as this is an invaluable learning resource. My heart goes out to every single mother, father, brother, sister and family member suffering the tragic loss of their baby. Completely moving and brilliantly acted, thank you to all the parents who contributed their experiences
I have had 3 miscarriages, and 2 stillbirths. I lost my daughter Grace at 21 weeks and or daughter Emma at 24 weeks. The heartbeats just stopped. They were absolutely perfect. It has been 4 years for Grace and 18 months for Emma. I miss them everyday. The pain is so overwhelming. We had used IVF to get pregnant. I'm so scared to try again. God be with all the families that lost children.
I’m so sorry.
I’m going to speak a word into your life… your next baby will be here with you earthside and will live a long happy life here on earth with you and your partner in Jesus’s name I decree and declare it is so 🙏🏽
@@Kayla_Kizzleamen
I'm very sorry for the losses you have experienced.
Ik heb er nooit bij stil gestaan wat voor Inpact dit is voor de Ouders!! IK heb ook een vriendin, maar haar Dochtertje is veelste vroeg gekomen en heeft het toch niet gered. Ik heb zoveel Respect voor Jullie Allemaal 😪😪😪Het maakt mij Enorm Verdrietig voor Jullie Allemaal 💓💓💓
I cried my eyes out during this whole video. I know this feeling.. and to this day my heart rebreaks.
my daughter was stillborn in August of this year and it's the most awful thing a parent and go thru. I had her at 40 weeks I expected to be bring her home not making funeral arrangements. I swear I cried my eyes out watching this I brought back all those painful memories
So sorry to hear about your loss
+Chiquita G
Thank you so much
My child died while I was overseas. Hardly anyone spoke English. I just remember having the ultrasound and seeing my baby floating lifeless and hearing the word morte. I had a choice to have the baby there or risk flying home the next day by myself with my two toddler boys for what would be a 36 hour trip. I was told that I risked serious infection or hemorrhage by delay and flying. I flew home. When I got home I literally slept for 24 hours straight, then went to two hospitals until I was booked for the procedure, 24 hours later, which I had to go through alone. The doctor, who I had never seen before, was literally my sole comfort. I was married. I had my mother living with me. No one called off work or found a babysitter for my boys.
Who wouldn't be moved to tears while watching this heartbreaking video. It makes you wonder - it certainly made me wonder - how it is possible to cope after such a loss. My heart goes out to all who have suffered loss in this way.
You just move through each day with the smallest glimmer of hope that you can find happiness again someday,. Until someday you do!!
I'm a student midwife and this has really helped me, thank you very much.
What an incredibly brave couple. This was very well filmed and very moving. I can't imagine anything more tragic than what they went through. Thank goodness they went on to have a healthy daughter after losing Clare.
I'm due to have my baby girl soon and I probably shouldn't have watched this. But it's something every mother to be worries about, myself included. This broke my heart. Having already lost one baby I understand this pain.
I hope you had a successful birth and a healthy baby girl!
Wow that was cold. "We need to have priority to the women who are having live babies"
I agree and I think the parents felt that too, but Clair the midwife was there to help, she was so empathetic she really tried to feel their pain, hence their decision to name their little girl after her.
They was no need to say it wow it shocked me the lack of empathy and compassion, glad claire was nice to them, and showed so much respect and love to them during a heartbreaking time.
I understand that maybe it came out a little harsh, but to be fair if you give birth to a stillborn it is easier to wait as it won't be growing anymore and you can't really tell a woman in labour to keep it in for the sake of a stillbirth. But of course I understand it was more the way she said it then what she said.
Hiw nice was it at the end when we found out she had had another baby girl. This is all I wish for in the world for these ladies to go on to have healthy babies to help them find a purpose in life again.
As a very soon to be qualified midwife no way would we or should we ever say something like that. There are far better ways to discuss the situation, empathy, patience and understanding matters most and that's what these people going through this awful time will remember.
Having lost a 19-year old daughter to murder in 2001 I have spent the last 13 years making little burial layettes for preemies and term babies that pass away. Parents need to acknowledge that loss and more importantly so do the people around them , including their families. People saying things like oh you can have other babies is not helpful. Everyone grieves in their own way and should be allowed to do so for as long as they need to. In the past women were encouraged to just forget about it and that is not healthy. The nun who runs the program at the hospital I work for says she sees delayed reactions from grandmothers and great grandmothers who lost babies in the past and were encouraged to just forget it, and all that emotion comes pouring out as they watch their daughters go through the same thing. This is a very good training film. Thanks for sharing it.
sat here in absolute tears as a friend shared this on facebook, i also have a baby daughter in heaven, my first born and so much of this short film took me right back there. Good insight for those who just have no idea what we have actually had to and still have to face, much love and thank you for sharing this raising awareness
My daughter was stillborn at fullterm. I found out at an appt just like this one, but no one else was with me
I lost my girl 3 days ago at full term too. I still cannot believe this
I pray for all mothers and fathers that would have to have to go Through something like this in life prayers
I can’t imagine how devastatingly heartbreaking it is to not only lose a child, but have them pass away before they are born, this video made me cry so hard!!
This honestly moved me deeply, when I lost my son I looked all over and was amazed how many parents go through this but this video captures the loneliness and the whole blur of the first steps in this terrible experience us as angel parents have to go through. I love my boy everyday but I wish that he was here with me now xxxxx
i had a stillborn baby boy a couple months ago and i have only just turned 20 years old. This clip took me back and had me in tears. i named my boy, Eli. my partner and I had that name chose out since we were 15 years old.
I lost my baby boy 3 weeks back at 20 weeks gestation. My heart breaks while watching this. I pray god should give strength to all mothers who are experiencing this pain.
This was one of the hardest things I have ever watched, I cried through the entire thing. Very well made, such a heartbreaking reality though. I can't even begin to imagine the pain people must go through, r.i.p to all the beautiful Babies that have been taken away so prematurely in this world
Wow!! The Deafening Silence which is a White Boat TV production has been shortlisted for not one, but two IVCA awards. These are the equivalent of an Oscar in the world of commercial filmmaking. A massive thank you to White Boat TV for all of their hard work in the making of this film, the quality really does shine through and the film rightly deserves the nominations. The winners will be announced on March 28th at a black tie dinner in London. Fingers crossed.
+David Ward This is absolutely heartbreaking. To think that some women actually go through this and still carry on with their life is amazing!
+I'm Not Okay I lost one of my twins to stillbirth and almost 7 years later my heart is still broken that my twins aren't together like they should be. It's the hardest thing to bury your child. Especially when people expect you to get "over it" because they didn't breathe air. That silence after the birth deafening. That first scan "I'm sorry but there is no heart beat". It's ok to say I'm not ok. But it's hard. It's very hard.
Chantal, so sorry for your loss. You will always miss your baby and that's ok. Sending prayers your way. We all are here for a short time, some of us even shorter time but we have to treasure our time here for the sake of our living loved ones. If it gets where your grief is interfering with you enjoying life or being able to cope, I would hope there is a support group you can find where others have experienced what you did? Or a Griefshare group. God Bless you.
Chantal Pennington I understand I lost one at 3 mo. And didn't know I was pregnancy. I went to Dr. He did lot xray said infection. Gave meds. Went back same got worse pain nd an all went to ob Dr he sent me to hospital to get test they found it an all. Then the Dr told me next day an that he have to remove my utus with the baby an cysts that killed it . so I didn't get to see my baby . I still wonder a lot an yes it's hard an I know he or she is in heAven
I lost mine at 30 weeks on 6/16/17
this broke my heart :( i never ever want to experience something like this....
I would just like to say to everyone who has commented negative and hurtful comments in regards to this nurse.. GUYS SHE IS AN ACTOR!! READING A SCRIPT AND IT IS NOT REAL. I understand it is based on real events and obviously if this was an actual nurse she would need the training that this video is trying to encourage. So please guys, leave the poor actress who played the nurse alone, she is just playing a part!
actor or not it happens when i was pregnant with my second baby I got so sick with the flu I could hardly move when I asked the doctors to please check to see if my unborn baby was ok they wouldn't in fact the doctor said to me if anything happens to your baby you can just make another one!! trust me this was the last thing I wanted to hear and broke my heart in two, lucky for him he didn't get a punch in the face because my partner was close to it! when I told my midwife what happened she said to never go see a doctor when I'm sick while pregnant! but to go to her if I knew that I would of never gone, we had our beautiful little girl and sometimes I look at her and get reminded of that one comment the doctor made I couldn't bear life with out my kids! I'm not the only one whos been through that I know of a few mummys who went through the same thing, losing a child changes you my sister lost hers a few months ago and has never been the same since I could only imagine her pain no one should ever be told to make another one when their heart longs for the one they have lost or losing
+candy jenner The doctor said WHAT??? Holy Moly, that guy should lose his job! How can people like that take care of other human beings and even save lives if that's the way they think about it? Didn't he swear an oath or something? I know doctors are no gods, but they shouldn't be *beeep*holes either...!
If I were one of the nurses, I would have held that family close and let them cry as long as they needed to. Those nurses were wonderful at showing empathy and kindness.
“We need to give priority to the women giving birth to live baby’s” - I can’t believe the nurse said that. That is terrible, the women having sleeping babys deserve just as much attention and priority as the other moms.
They probably also wouldn't enjoy hearing the cries of the live newborns.
My son Brandan was born 3 month ago tomorrow, and never took his first breath. Although we are proud parents of a beautiful boy we talk about all the time, it is complete hell on earth to go through this. Thank you for sharing this video, it's helpful to remember I'm not alone.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not a parent and I'm too young to be one, but I still can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose a child, let alone a baby. When I grow up I hope this never happens to any kids I may have...
i am so sorry
I'm so sorry.
Thank you for this beautiful video. Very helpful for nurses, such as myself, to understand the feelings of the mother and father. Labor and delivery nursing is not always joyful but is is rewarding. Excellent example of the role of the nurse in a very sad situation. Again, thank you.
Thank you for your kind comments. You will be pleased to know that the film is being used for educational purposes during bereavement training courses in medical institutions around the world. Also two national charities in the UK are using the film to train serving midwives in the workplace.
This hit me so hard it’s so deep and I can fully relate to this I lost my daughter 11 weeks ago stillborn 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss 💐💐💐
@@coranford7463 💖💖💖💖
😔 I’m so sorry. 🌹
I'm so sorry, I pray each day gets a little better for you
What a powerful video. My heart breaks for every family that experiences this. I love how caring the midwife is and how the family was encouraged to hold and spend the night with their daughter. .
This was really hard to watch and it made me cry my eyes out. It may be weird, but I need a starter sometimes to get me crying. I needed a good cry to release. Thanks for sharing.
I don't think it's weird at all. That's the concept behind the music exercise we did, to really bring the emotion to the surface. I cried my eyes out too.
I cried so hard. This was very eye opening, and I hope no mother ever has to go through this. 💜
This is so sad, I can't imagine. And there are women that go through this, It takes strong people.. Prayers to everyone that's gone through this..
This video does such a beautiful job at portraying what it's like for the woman.
RIP Blaine Adam Rosemore Jr. 5/25/14 12:43pm
First I want to say thank you. You did a wonderful job of capturing all the aspects of a situation like this. I have read comments that forcing a vaginal birth in a situation like this is cruel. BELIEVE me when I went thru it I felt it was evil and cruel but after several years to heal and learning more I can understand. I had to do a vaginal birth due to an infection. If they had done a c section they would have spread the infection and that may have killed me. Also there is a lot of research that if you have a c section if you get pregnant again you are almost guaranteed another c section noy to mention how much more difficult it is to heal afterwords. Vaginal is far less damaging with less far reaching consequences. At least these days they can give you some very good medications that make the delivery almost painless and also kind of knock you out a bit. This sounds harsh but when the child is dead the restrictions on what meds to give go away. NOTHING will make this easy regardless what type of birth or medications.
I had the insensitive comments. I was a heavy smoker before I found myself unintentionally pregnant. Due to my high risk status I was advised not to quit cold turkey but to gradually cut down down down till I was no longer smoking which I followed to a T. The perinatologist who was going to deliver me said "Just so you know your smoking didn't cause this. It may have caused a low birth weight but I DON'T THINK it caused this." I was already blaming myself, his "I don't think" just gave me even more ways to blame myself! We learned later I had an incompetent cervix and my son's birth weight was perfect for his age. I did as the doctors asked and I did nothing wrong.
I think the only piece they didn't cover is how family and friends say and do things noy realizing the pain they cause.
Overall I love this video. I WILL be passing this on to other families I know who have been thru this and to my family and friends who didn't understand how I couldn't just move on or why having my living daughter years later didn't make the loss of my son better.
THANK YOU
An incredibly accurate account of having a stillbirth. Credit to everyone involved.
'At least you know you can get pregnant' - a prime example of a comment made with no thought before being spoken but so very real when it come's to people's ignorance regarding babyloss.
#Why17
The difference between the two midwives was remarkable!
As the one year anniversary of our son's still birth, this touches my heart in such a way.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Abigail would have been five this year and it still is not any easier x
I’m a theatre major doing a character study for a short film to bring awareness to this topic. We have a team writing and researching, but as an actor I had no clue how to go about this in a respectful way. This video was amazing!💛
That poor POOR lady. How insensitive of that nurse. "We have to give priority to those women who are giving birth to LIVE babies." GRRRRR. Sending her home too!!!
I had a similar experience, except after I gave birth, there was groups and groups of, um, very loud loud african americans running up and down the hallways of the maternity ward at Houston Medical Center, was a horrible botched delivery. No thanks to the people there, lady didn't even bother taking off her rings......
Having to triage patients when you have a shortage of ANYTHING in the medical field is a reality.