How I Handle Two Year Old Toddler Tantrums | Discipline and Behavior Management
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- In this video, I walk you through how I handle my two year old tantrums, using a time out method with gentle discipline, and how this kind of child behavior management has basically stopped temper tantrums altogether!
Two years old is such a fun time in a child's life.
Between throwing tantrums on the daily and wanting to 'help' you do everything, they're learning so much more about life!
If parenting tips are something you're interested in, this is the video for you!
Music by MBB
/ mbbmusic
This is really dangerous. Shutting down a child’s emotions is not how to deal with very small human beings. How would you like it if you were upset - yes adults still get upset - and someone grabbed you told you to stop and put you away in other room. You would feel so abandoned and shamed, even violated. What your daughter is feeling is totally normal. Honour her feelings, giver her boundaries if she tries to hit or hurt or throw, and BE THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE NEED YOU MOST. The tantrum or big feelings will subside when she’s got the emotions out. Shutting down children when they cry, which is normal , leads to personality disorders such as narcissism and borderline disorders.
Please have a look at Janet Landsbury or Mama Mannon or Maggie Dent or Gabor Mate who are education and leading the way in respectful and gentle parenting, which has strong boundaries and allows the children to feel their feelings.
Gentle and respectful parenting without timeouts (that don’t work other than to scare a child into submitting to a much bigger and powerful person) are proving to produce children who when grown have the best and closest relationships with their parents. This style of shutting down and timeouts drives your child away from from and teaches her that she cannot trust you to be there when she has problems or big emotions. Do you think a teenager will want to go to a parent for comfort and advice if they were raised in an environment where they were shut down and shut away when having normal emotions.
thanks for the author suggestions Leanne Kimberley - I'm really big into Gabor mate's work and am looking for parenting advice that leads to healthy emotional regulation in children.
I totally agree with you ... I didn't like the way she was holding her wrist ... acknowledging her emotions is what a child needs not punishment
Yep… and telling her “are you ready to be nice”. Being nice has nothing to do with showing your emotions. This was really bad advice on how to manage our littles one’s tantrums.
I guarantee this woman is going to be outed as the next horrible "mommy vlogger" in a few years. SO many red flags in her videos.
Wow! You ladies are really judging a mom who does a very good job of interacting with her kids. Are you ladies stay at home moms, or do you have someone else raising your kids?
This is a great video! As an educator it’s best to pick your battles with toddlers.These are some Suggestions that may also help. You could have made this experience into a fun activity with water (sensory explore with water and bubbles). Getting on her eye level is a great idea because it helps with communication and great social skills. Time out is a old school Language.. using words transitioning or redirecting helps better. It’s always better to redirect the children with a Activity such as puzzle or a short book to read. Make sure when the transition time is up you have a conversation with you children on why they needed to walk a way to a doing activity and let them tell you that they are ready to come back with everyone else. No timer ! Great video Mom keep up the good work
Thank you so much for your input!
Thank you for this GREAT video.. my husband and I watched it several times and now we are doing the same method with our 2 years old son and it’s works .. I’m so glad I found you because it helped us a lot.
That's so great to hear!
Thank you for this, my almost 2 year old is just starting this and the way you approach tantrums is something I think I can do, as well as feel good implementing. Congratulations on Hudson as well ❤️
Thank you so much!
I am impressed 🎉😊 she is just a well paid actress
I think your technique is excellent for an unprovoked tantrum or a kid just being a brat... But she just wanted to try doing something independently .. why wasnt she allowed to try?
Kids at this age need to realise what they feel and why. They need mommy’s attention and love.
And explanation what is happening to them now. Not just blocking their feeling by : stop or I will leave .
“If I am not okay, mommy will leave” - that will teach a kid that she needs to please everyone. Finally she can loose herself not knowing what she wants, what she feels, what she likes and not. Only - what people expect her to do
Great video, how would you get them to sit down initially?- i feel like my daughter is in such a state that she won’t sit but instead she throws herself around. What’s the best method to get her sitting for time out? X
Great question! As I said, it took a lot of training and consistency. Every time I would sit her in time out, I would give the instructions and then walk away. If she didn't follow instructions, I would walk back, give instructions again in a matter of fact way, help her to sit down and fold her hands, then walk away. And repeat however many times needed throughout the duration of her timer.
@livjowen I have to try this..problem is my son starts screaming when he is throwing a tantrum, how to calm him down is a big task first?
@abzcefxm7173 You can't calm him down no matter what you do. Follow through with the time-out and he'll give up eventually. Don't give up, or else you'll just reinforce that behavior, the screaming. And please, don't follow this channel's advice. That's a narcissistic mother who hides her unacceptable behavior behind some concepts of gentle parenting. Don't punish your child for having normal emotions. Hug them until they calm down. They're too little to to regulate by themselves and putting them in time-out will lead to anger issues, trust issues and many more. Time-out is for bad behavior, not bad emotions.
She's so adorable!
Hi! thank you SO MUCH i really need this video cuz i'm the big sister and my mom and dad is never around so i gotta take care of my 2 year old little sister and my 7 year old lilttle sister thanks again!
How old are you ?
Do you need any support if you’re under 18 and your parents aren’t around?
@@alexisraymond1635 no thank you. I believe I can do it myself. Also, if I needed help,I could ask help from my family like my grandma or aunt or cousins or uncles.
I want you as a mom😭🥺
That’s correct, some times toddlers have tantrums when they don’t get there way all the time!
Ava you are so cute dont cry
Why not just let her wash her hands after you have washed them correctly ? It’s prevents the entire tantrum and she also is learning how to wash them properly to no longer need your assistance? Isnt that the goal to let them be independent individuals in the future? A time out for her just wanting to wash her hands by herself ? Seems a bit much 🙄
As you can see kiddo is not ready to wash hands independently. She can’t turn the faucet by herself or put soap on her hands. She’s 2 which still needs some assistance.
I filmed several tantrums and chose to use this specific instance as my example video simply because it was the one example where she had the "worst" tantrum. I wanted to show how well the method worked. She had been doing so well that it was hard to capture a 'real' tantrum.
I admit that this instance of washing hands was not really a major behavioral issue and I definitely understand any mom just letting her do it herself. I knew it might come across as being a little too strict, but decided to show it anyway. Glad you pointed it out!
a time out is basically (atleast when it come to toddlers) for them to calm down and learn they don't need to thriw a fit if you do not teach them they will throw fits forever🙄
Yea it all constantly sounded like threats to me
I had to learn to do this. Mine is two. I just put the soap in her hands and let her do her thing, she’ll stay in there on her stool just scrubbing away for 10 mins and I get to do something else. I come in at the end to scrub properly and rinse 😂
For the first video: Your behavior towards her is super controlling. Let her wash her hands on her own, or else how would she learn? Washing hands should be a possible task for her age with a little bit of practice. Also, you can't just place her in time-out for every negative emotion she has. Time-out is not for emotions. If she had started throwing throwing things or hitting her sibling, that's when you should use time-out. A child that little needs your comfort. Physical and emotional comfort. She's too little to regulate all by herself. She can't do it without you and she's scared and lonely. By not validating her emotions, you're teaching her to just suppress them to avoid punishment. This will most likely lead to trouble when dealing with emotions when she becomes a teen, the most apparent will be uncontrollable anger issues. She's also gonna have trust issues because you're extremely untrustworthy. The second video was okay.
she is so adorable:)
So you're going to provoke a tantrum out of an extremely bright 2 yo and then make her sit in timeout to think about the emotion that you manipulated out of her to create a video? 🥴 this girl was literally communicating with you that she wanted to do it by herself and you said
"all done?" & she said "no" and you completely ignored her, didn't even let her rinse her hands by herself for like half a second. Plus she saw the camera recording her the whole time which she seemed confused about and hurt by.
This girl is only 2 yo, she needs help identifying her emotions, not telling her "oh don't stomp your foot"
Instead, it's better to say: "you seem mad, come sit on my lap and let's talk about what you're feeling"
This whole video was really done the wrong way, just the sheer fact that you have a camera in her face the whole time is cruel.
My Google heard you and set a timer for 2 minutes too.
How funny!
What do you do if you have a 2 year old that isn’t quite talking yet and throws himself all over the place and screaming and cried the more you try to talk to them? My son’s tantrums have just been getting worse and worse and I am at a loss
Me too! Please help!
@@maggiedimas899 you need to acknowledge their feeling... empathy . I do not agree with Olivia;s Owen methods
punishment doesn't work and could actually make it worse. look into Montessori methods
have a look at Montessori methods .. its all about empathy ,acknowledging child emotions etc
Olivia "s methods is harsh .. repressing children"s feeling. imagine you are feeling upset and we just shut you down like in the video ..how would you feel?
Same here, at least I know I’m not the only one!
you have to punish them and be strict
Filming your toddler having a difficult moment & crying is crazy. Putting it on the internet for literally everybody & anybody to see is even crazier. She’s a human. What if someone filmed you without your consent in this emotional state & then posted it for the world to see whether you wanted it or not? Shameful. Had to stop 3 minutes in because I’m not here to privately view a little girl in a vulnerable state. Just wanted tantrums tips. Very weird of you.
If it is just a video or two for teaching purpose, then it’s fine. It’s not like she’s making tik tok entertainment. THEN I would agree with you!!
This is fine.
Thank you for your comment! You are exactly right! This was simply for a teaching purpose, and I'm happy it was able to help so many mothers 😊
@@livjowen it's obvious you're instigating some of these reactions so you can get your camera ready and film them for your channel. Just remember, everything comes to light eventually. Look at Ruby Franke. Her followers thought she was a great mom and a wonderful teacher. Where is she now? These mommy vlogger/advice channels are going to be on the wrong side of history.
can always help make sure her hands washed properly then she can do it herself for a min then dry? mum first then daughter?
This is the right education for children, congratulations to you 😘😘😘👍🏻
ايش سوه
I don’t agree with your method from the beginning the child was humiliated. That’s why she displayed the temper tantrum because there’s no other way she can communicate humiliation by a parent and then you continue to humiliate her by putting her in time out.
I’d love to have these tantrums lol my 2 year old is off the charts wild. Bangs her head against the walls, screams so loud your ears will ring afterwards. Usually it’s over absolutely nothing. Your daughter is very smart for her age. Her vocabulary is very good. I am going to try some of these methods. Also, my daughter does not have this sort of vocabulary, I wonder if she’d even be able to understand.
Same here 😊
I don't believe in time out (punishment0 you need to acknowledge their feeling (empathy) you should look into MONTESSORY development its very helpful
Time outs don’t work. No child in a timeout is thinking about what they have done wrong. Their brains are not developed enough or even wires to do that. They are simply thinking how unfair it is and how mean their parent is.
Making her hold her hands is like torture to a young child. Toddlers flail, wale and move about CONSTANTLY. You are isolating her quite violently my making her sit and hold her own hands.
My god, imagine if someone told you to do that when you were upset. Ask her if she wants a hug. Or just sit and wait and tell her you understand she’s upset but you can’t let her do a,b,c…
Wait for her to get it all out and when she has she will come in for a hug on her own.
CONNECT FIRST whenever a child is upset, then go from there. If you disconnect from her when she needs you the most, then punish her for being totally normal, you are headed down a really dangerous path.
What you can do is just sit with her a minute. Let her express, ask her to take a few breaths with you if she can, without forcing it, see if you can make her laugh to move her on to something else but not to push her feelings away.
totally agree with you Leanne
Quiet hands is just bad. Bad for the autistic child. In a time out they are allowed to stim and be autistic especially if they're upset.
NICE!!!
This is excellent information. I have a 18 month old daughter. Do you relay the same info to babysitters (grandparents) when we are not with her. Just be consistent right? Thanks in advance for posting!
Yes, it's pretty consistent across the board because it's the easiest way to handle outbursts regardless of where we are.
Thank you! :) xxx
When I was new to your channal!
So you put the little human in timeout for experiencing her emotions and making her apologize about experiencing that "bad" emotion.
Actually, the timeout is simply just that. Taking time to calm down enough to talk about the emotions she is experiencing. 😊
If only you had actually watched the full video... she addressed all of the things you claimed were so bad.
@@tatyanaking242 no she's repressing her child 's emotions.... empathy is the key when children throw tantrums
she's very strict for small issues really.
So what do you suggest?
So you’re going to provoke a tantrum out of an extremely bright 2 yo and then make her sit in timeout to think about the emotion that you manipulated out of her to create a video? 🥴 this girl was literally communicating with you that she wanted to do it by herself and you said “all done?” & she said “no” and you completely ignored her, didn’t even let her rinse her hands by herself for like half a second. Plus she saw the camera recording her the whole time which she seemed confused about and hurt by.
This girl is only 2 yo, she needs help identifying her emotions, not telling her “oh don’t stomp your foot”. Instead, it’s better to say: “you seem mad, come sit on my lap and let’s talk about what you’re feeling”
This whole video was really done the wrong way, just the sheer fact that you have a camera in her face the whole time is cruel.
a problem here is the baby girl knows she is being filmed, daddy is standing there with a camera and she doesn't understand why he doesn't say anything nor defend her when she is just trying to be independant and do things herself. if i was upset and somebody had a camera in my face, i would get more upset. she is feeling frustration and shame, and doesn't understand why now that she wants to be independent she can't, when that is what is usually asked of her. She didn't do anything wrong. This seems more like controlling behavior from the mother.
I don't agree with the phrasing: are you ready to be nice...
My daughter isn’t two just yet but she throws herself back when being sat down during a tantrum any tips on that?
My 2 year old daughter just started throwing tantrums when time to put her down for a nap. Have you ever experienced this before or do you think I should use this same approach?
I don't like to use timeout when I'm trying to lay down for nap or bedtime, because it prolongs the process and turns sleep time into something they start to dread. Instead, I follow a bedtime routine every time, make sure needs are met, then make it a happy and positive, fun time every time!
lol you have not experienced tantrums =)) also timeout doesn't teach dealing with emotions
My favorite comment. Truly! Having six children of my own, I couldn't possibly have experienced a single tantrum.
I seen that channel
My 23 month old just throws himself on the floor and cries, before I even know what the issue is. Not sure this will help yet as I'm not sure how much he would understand or be able to listen to. Any other tips that may be helpful? I know you said your daughter is two, but has she recently turned two or is she more like two and a half or older? Thanks. I don't know where to begin 🙁
My daughter is 2 and a half in this video. I started to process of training her with the timeout system when she was about 18 months old.
I have found that the timeout system is perfect to help them to calm down enough to where I can talk to them and try to figure out what the issue was! 😅
Here is my video where I trained my 18 month old son who was throwing tantrums:
czcams.com/video/URMzl3_2Ig8/video.html
Maybe it will help a little more for your situation. 🙂
I have the same issue! It started a month ago. He is 2 and half. Wakes up , immediately throws himself around and screams. Then starts crying and getting irritated from everything. Every simple thing is a reason to throw a tantrum and cry. I am losing it!!!!!
The baby is just 2. How can she understand all this ? This conditioning is cruel.
How do you do this with a almost two year old toddler?
don't follow her methods .... too harsh. you should look into Montessori methods instead
Why can’t they cry ?
My baby is 2 years old and she doesnt melt down even after an hour.. she just stay at floor and bang her head and cry her heart out… what to do mam … plz help
acknowledge her feelings.. use empathy it works
Dose spanking work or no time outs dont work
acknowledge their feelings.. empathy with them. their can't control or understand their emotions. spanking can only damage
there are not being bad because their having a tantrums .. personally I do not agree with her methods she's too harsh and you said it yourself .. time out don't work. spanking will not work but will worsen you child behaviour.
Does punishing a child by repeatedly hitting their private parts sound like a good idea to you, or does that sound like a sure-fire way to mess a child up?
I dont agree with this method. And she is not processing her emotions on her own, in general, let alone in "time out" . Also, I really dont like you using the words "are you ready to be nice?". I commend the effort and respect your way of parenting if you find it fit,but I dont agree with you on this one.
Thank you for sharing.
She is so cute
Haha, why are people so strict on little children? Just because you can't go on with your selfish life?
These kids can't consent to having their worst moments broadcasted on the internet, and they can't consent to being used as props for her channel. There are better ways to make money.
The child is never told what behavior was unacceptable nor does she have an opportunity to say what she wanted or if nedded, express an emotion?
@gloriabaumstimler2729 you probably think you raised wonderful children with that mindset. How do you know what the child understands, feels and can remember at that age. This is people assuming...
Children are not pets, intellectual.
I get spankings for discipline i just got spanked yesterday
My 2 children never had a tantrum. The best thing to do is know how to distract your child.
Well that is not normal. Every child has tantrums, it’s normal. Just like adults have tantrums.
It’s a learning experience, good for them to learn how to develop impulse control.
I was thinking the same. My daughter never really had tantrums. Then again, I wouldn't fight her over petty things like her wanting to wash and dry her own hands.
This is not even a tantrum, it's a fair upset of not being able to show independence. I am sorry, I normally agree with a lot of the videos, but for me this is a bit abusive. Also, why should she appologize, no offence, I think you as am adult and a mum could even appologize for not letting her try for herself, be independent and validating her need - "all done?" "No." (no, mum I told you I want to try). I feel like you have improved your empathy and mum skills, which is normal, over the time, as I find the newer videos more validating and emotionally empathetic.