Wives Who Hate Sailboats - Ep 266 - Lady K Sailing
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- In this video we look at why some folks don't want to go sailing or downright hate sailboats. The heeling over, the pointlessness of it. And why we sailors love it, and how to get your spouse sailing with you. Sailing the Caribbean or Asia, the Med. We talking about camping on boats, living on boats, and explore ways to get your significant other to giv eit a try! Like learning to sail, sailing a laser, first time sailing.
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I finally retired and wanted to go full time sailing. But she said if I bought a sailboat she was going to leave. I shur miss her.
Well written.
She can hang out with mine 😂😂😂
Managed to keep mine so far, with frequent complains. I live on the boat 4mths a year, in Greece, wife joins 2x 1 mth. Got to compromise, but not an easy game 😢
Going 15 knots into the wind is so exciting and love it but 80% of the time. Love sailing downwind with My huge parachute out doing 4 knots so relaxing 😎 What size boat would work as a two couple diving sailboat? Been a DiveMaster for 45 years! And would love to take my four sons out diving?
Good thing she didn't take the dog. You'd REALLY miss him.
My wife was afraid of the ocean and had no interest in boats. Then we did a cabin charter in the Bahamas. Then another in the Grenadines. Now she wants to retire on a boat. We are taking ASA 101 and 103 this summer 🤞
That is the way to start. ASA classes lead to chartering with a captain that leads to bareboat chartering that leads to ownership. Together take it a step at a time. Build a solid foundation of sailboat knowledge and enjoy the ride.
I am sorry, but I was laughing really hard with the questions. Especially the tipping and are we going to die. What turned me on to sailing (6 yrs old) was the 1st time hard core tipping in a race (Morgan 24). The water racing on the deck, the railing in the water, and the water hitting the port holes. How exciting and exhilarating! I knew right then I had the sailing bug. Now I am 64 and still love love it! Happy Sailing ⛵
Private aircraft have what is called the $100 hamburger. They will fly in their aircraft to another airport, arrange ground transport, and go eat a hamburger, then fly home. At least with a sailboat, when the sail is raised the fuel is free and quiet. Sailing makes much more sense than hitting a golf ball around a course, but some find peace in that. A friend of mine is an amateur radio operator and his wife likes to collect depression era glass, both may seem silly to the outsider but it brings them joy. Others spend much more money on hunting and fishing than what they could easily buy in a market, but the outdoors gives them peace or joy.
Finding your own food feels great
Fuel is free? Who do you know that gives you your sails for no payment?
Interesting how small aircraft pilots have been immune from inflation for over 40 years,
Richard Bach wrote (who has been a full-on pilot all his life): aircraft is freedom is space. You get airborn and whichever way you look, you can be beyond the horizon in a few hours. But it is not free in time: after 4-5 hours wherever you went you will be on the ground.
A sailboat, on the other hand, is freedom in time. Yes it will float along at sometimes a jogger's or a cyclist's speed. But if you stock up enough food and water you can be on your way for months on end and never see land. As far as sailing goes, food is the only limit.
@@koborkutya7338 Flying is possibly the furthest from freedom you will ever experience. The number of rules is endless, especially the rules of physics that will kill you really quickly of you disobey them.
Most pilots that would argue with that usually drift around in the equivalent of a Ford Cortina - and use pretty much the same number of spatial dimensions.
I will add the Comfort Crisis. New challenges, adventures and a bit of discomfort are needed to keep people mentally healthy. It’s a quirk of human nature. Sailing can provide the right mix as you have mentioned. You can be a fair weather lake sailing type and that is enough discomfort. Or go to the extreme and cross an ocean.
Swmbo: "let's go for a walk"
Me: "where are we going?"
Swmbo: "for a walk"
Me: "yeah but, where to?"
Me: "let's go sailing"
Swmbo: "where....
That’s a lot of Serenitys. I had no idea there were so many Firefly class cargo sailboats 🤔
My wife didn’t want to sail. That was 8 years ago. Well this lady just did her 4th Atlantic crossing. So much for that lol
I keep it really simple... For me, it's like "Speed Date"... "If we go to Fiji, Fly or Sail?" If she says "Fly", I say, "Next"... To me, compatibility means we Mesh... Similar Interests, Hobbies, Lifestyle, etc. It's not simply Butterflies in the stomach... A relationship has to be practical too. If I say, "Let's go for a Sail". I expect her to ask how much provisions we'll need and where are we going... We're not just a team in the bedroom, we breath the same air... Great video 🙂
Can I assume you are still single?
We wish. Every wish you ever had with a relationship is Disney Land, then reality sets in and the answer to everything is NO! especially sailing😢
My late wife described my relationship to sailing as a Prometheus complex, which while she had the actual definition incorrect. made sense the way she described it. As in an obsession with taking the forces of "the gods" and using them for human purposes, like Prometheus with fire, although I guess the actual definition could be applied, with the whole constant incessant quest for knowledge...
My wife is out to prove she is tougher than me sailing. It makes a great team even when the swells get big. So far I have yet to see her seasick, and I will NEVER admit when I am so thats that. As always, look forward to the next video!
if you get seasick its important to notify your fellow sailers so they know you are out of order. Otherwise they might take dangerous decisions. Of course, if your really seasick there is no way of hiding it anyways.
@@schuttrostig5729 agreed. So far just feel a little naucious when I spend too much time below working on the systems. Stops as soon as I go topside. But yeah if it gets bad there would be no hiding it.
My wife never gets sea sick either. She won't go sailing. End of.
If you have to be tough, you're doing it wrong.
I live in Cleveland OH and have been sailing most of my life on Lake Erie.
I like sailing to nowhere at night looking at the starts.
It was something my boys and I did when they where young.
Today I sail solo most of the time because my wife does not like boats in general.
Not a big issue she doesn't get mad when I go sailing.
Harvest from the right garden. Do not expect to get apples from a tomato plant. Find another sailing person to go sailing. Great topic. Great Video.
When you said that sailing gets you someplace for free, I laughed. Everyone knows that the definition of a sailboat is the most expensive way to get somewhere for free!
True, but it's a lovely delusion.
Probably still cheaper than an equally capable powerboat
Here in San Pedro, CA we don't have to sail to nowhere. We sail to Santa Catalina island. It's blessings to have her.
Met my wife through sailing. She started as a Sea Scout. We've been been together 34 years. We've done 20 some Chicago Macs together and both have over 30 macs. Her best friends were also Sea Scouts and are avid sailors. It would be hard for to even imagine not sailing with my significant other. Reading comments i realize how lucky I am.
I am green with envy
Sail fast and reckless!
My experience in foreign countries was that many women went sailing with their husbands because they loved them, they really didn't like sailing. Many husbands would not sail as agressively because his wife was too uncomfortable. Lots of them found "there wasn't enough wind" so put the sails down and motored. And when i went to talk to them on their boat the discussion often turned to sailing but the women would just find something to do while we talked.
Excellent video and some excellent advice. A bit of a counterpoint. My wife has no interest in sailing and though she did it as a child, that was a long time ago and she has no interest now. A friend's wife grew up as an avid boater (power) but now has zero interest in being on the water. So several years ago, this friend and I bought a sailboat together. It works well - costs are 50% and each of us usually has someone to go sailing with. Since both of us have been with our wives for decades, having this separate hobby isn't a big deal, as long as we both remember that sailing can't be everything (and that's not always easy). My wife will come out occasionally, but only in light air or only under motor, but that still whets her appetite for a whole season. The counterpoint is that under the right circumstances, it's okay if your spouse/partner has no interest in sailing.
Yes, I am in the process of acceptance. I did not want to leave my comfortable home in the temperate PNW two years ago. But my boyfriend had other ideas! Now we live on a Tayana Vancouver 42 in Florida. Heading to the Caribbean, soon. Turns out it's interesting and good for me -- and us -- all around.
Thank you for answering a lot of my questions. I'm not as scared anymore to start sailing.
There are lots of clubs, find a local one and catch a ride with someone. They should match you up with a skipper that will take into account your skill and comfort level and you should be in good hands.
Fun piece. My wife told me “Jesus Christ could tell me it won’t tip over and I wouldn’t believe him.” But she loved me enough to sail anyway. After five monohulls we bought a Catamaran and it was finally bliss for her.
Hey Tim. Married 50 years, sailing for 40 years, my wife has never been a comfortable sailor. But she loves the social aspect of the sailing community and will tolerate the "inconvenience" of having those "white things" up. I go hard when the guys are aboard, throttle back when she's aboard. Even the spinnaker goes into the back of the van just to reduce the temptation! A "comfortable, heavy" botat is not the solution, a prudent skipper is......
This is totally me and my wife. My wife feels confined on a boat... that and she gets seasick out on the open ocean. I love her but I don't think I'll ever make a sailor out of her.
I’m with you 100%. My wife gets seasick brewing a cup of coffee, so sailing will never be in the cards. But she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I can accept that trade-off.
You will miss her.
Get a asian.
My wife hates sailing as its to slow, me I can sit at the helm with my kindle doing 4 knots all day and I'm happy.
Will we die? I remember this one from your earlier Lady K Sailing while you and your significant other were bailing like mad somewhere way off shore when a speed or depth sensor popped out. She went below for something and came out screaming with water almost knee deep in the salon. Later in the series you were sailing solo.
was about to mention that one too... "Never let her sink" coz often the significat other is not up to "frontline adventures" let alone possible "missadventure" 😄
great breakdown Tim really appreciate your passion for sailing
My wife doesn’t share my obsession with sailing. It’s very frustrating. But she never stops me from going so I guess it could be worse. But man, I dream of sailing to far off shores … but I know it will never happen. 😢
As the years have passed I've learned enough about reefing and boat management to make the trips less unpredictable. And she has gained a slightly more stoic view of heeling. Slightly. There will never be equal enthusiasm - I'm the sailor, she's just doing this to make me happy. My wife frequently suggests selling our sailboat and buying something " with a real engine that can go somewhere". But we both know thats not going to happen. 🙂
How about "is that big metal thing going to hit me on the head again"?
Took my wife out on our new to usmonohull, first thing whack with the boom. She was ok, and I just said we are going to need a bigger boat. :)
Only until I learn how to sail.
Love this episode! Thank you!!!
My wife is full on with it been full time over a year now.
My partner finally saw that leaning over is good and not dangerous, I wish we were close to nice sailing waters, the wash in England on the east coast is not very picturesque
GREAT Video 👏🙌
Great episode .
Tremendous view Tim!
And some worthwhile advice!!
Thanks again. you are appreciated. Cheers.
Another big/main reason keel boats don't tip over is because the further over they go the more the keel works as a lever to right it. I'm in a newer relationship and I don't know if she fully realizes my plan of taking off full time, I sure hope she's aboard and learns to love it.
Once again amazing video... I had to laugh though after years of watching CZcams videos and shopping for the perfect boat, I purchased a Catalina 42 and named her SEA-RENITY.... I have to say you made me laugh with this one! Keep up the great videos.
One of the most helpful videos on sailing I've ever seen. Great stuff.
As a man that's been dating since I was forty (I'm currently 47)... Within the first few dates, I set the stage and ask them how they feel about spending a considerable amount of time on a sailboat. I tell them that I don't need a "yes" answer, but I do need to know if it's a hell no. No need to waste anyone's time. My plan is to get my cruising boat this fall!!! Fingers crossed!
Also ask if Cvaxd.
You don't want the shedding
@@MarketingStrategies28 Yes, I try to avoid monkey-brained conspiracy theorists too.
@@Chris-zo5ze It has a 100% death rate
@@Chris-zo5ze Are you telling me you're one of the sheeples that got the vaxs.
😆 🤣 😂 😹
Forget about sailing its over for you.
Monkey brains
@@Chris-zo5ze If you got it monkey brains its over for you.
😆 🤣 😂 😹
Great video. Thanks for sharing the "serenity" connection about the magic of making the boat go wherever you want!
Beautiful video, beautiful message. Keep up the good work! And thank you
I think you actually answered the question”where are we going” question quite well. Sailing can be a destination activity, but truly it’s an experiential activity. It’s about enjoying the thrill of the journey not the anticipation of where you are going.
I think I would actually discredit the parallel to camping though. Sailing is more akin to travel trailer camping than say car camping or backpacking.
Loved the water melon seed analogy and now I need to do the butter experiment since I haven’t tried that before.
Love it
I love this channel 😅❤
One of your best videos. Thank you!
Thank you for watching!
Thanks
Tim, I appreciate the balanced perspective you bring to all your presentations as well as your breadth of experience between racing, cruising,, repair, modification, consultation, and sailing philosophy.
Practical Sailor did well to hire you as chief editor. I also enjoy your Historsea channel. I too grew up on the GL’s in the Niagara area. 👍😎
I appreciate that! Thank you so much for watching!
Always love watching your videos. You nailed it with "finding the magic in sailing' for me. Its like finding magic and freedom, much like getting you first car or motorbike. Once you can sail you can go anywhere. Shouldn't have a problem with my lovely wife once we get a boat, we've done loads of adventures together, skydiving, hiking volcanoes, loads of jetskiing etc. Keep the videos coming, they're great 👍
That's awesome! Though we haven't been out on jetskis yet. I am awaiting the day we can just liquidate everything and go. She says she'll do it, and I really hope she wants to. Good luck in your adventures!
Well said
You are a Star, I’ll be tacking soon
good one Tim. This and the bit you did about booze are the real deal. Glad you're doing well! Grats on editor in chief!
Yep, good video :)
This one hits home…
Great points. Your very good at this, keep up the good work 6 days a week in order to find the right partner, not the right topic or argument. You have that part mastered.
Sailing close to the wind is my favorite for sure.
Agree. But a 50 Nm bash to windward was the end of sailing for my wife. Although I was ecstatic when we anchored in the coral lagoon.
@@gregbrazier209 That could be tiring . Even if i could maintain hull speed still looking at nearly 8 or 9 hours .
You do know you can take breaks...
Is it like camping? Maybe. It doesn't have to be. I try to make it more like a luxury camper. Our mattresses are off the chart good, our galley is top notch and our boat is in good repair and clean. The wood is beautiful and it's someplace she can invite friends and relatives. Once she knows that she is safe and comfortable the world is truly your oyster. We have been sailing for about 25 yrs and are aboard our IP 40 about 6 months out of the year. Life is good. It's work, but it's worth it.
Good evening from Rochester ny!
--About that tippy flippy heely thing:
--At the first available wind opportunity, I put the cockpit rail as close as I can to the water and tell my terrified students "Watch this!". I let fly the main sheet. Everything goes flat. Their fears evaporate. Each then takes a turn steering and learns to resist one's natural temptation to fight the gusts.
--Eventually, I hand over the sheet, and magic happens. They understand that they, not the weather, are in charge.
--The contribution to sea sickness created by fear is also greatly reduced.
Many full-time RVers have the same issue.
This is the best I watched this year. I agree on everything.
Only wish my wife would see it this way, even when I have a 10 ton steel 36ft 100% Orcas and lightening safe sailboat built for the north west passage and which can ran aground in 8 knots with zero damage. She's not fast but safe.
Thanks for watching!
I love that last comment❤
I have always said that if you own a sailboat you always have a waterfront property. I couldn’t convince her, though.
I'm currently taking the worn out teak decks off my Tashiba 40 to do Kiwigrip because my fiancé wants to get married on the bow. I still don't believe she's real sometimes 😂
Wow, better pinch yourself, and her, and me. Heck pinch everyone. Can we clone her?
As I have said before I can teach you how to sail in a day and you can spend the rest of your life trying to perfect it. Nothing in my life has kept me more entertained for so long the learning is endless which is part of the attraction
As far as the wife sailing 😢she gets sick on a cruise ships. So I go solo . It's one of those things you have to love to understand
Tim, I am at a similar stage in life, seeking a significant other. A lot of women like beaches and I describe sailing as campung on thw water and visiting as many beaches as they want, often empty beaches which cant be rea hed by land. I normally take someone on a boat after about the third date, making sure the weather is fair F3 or maybe F4 and let them steer the boat to gain an insight into the magic we enjoy. Almost everyone has said they sleep more comfortably on a gently rocking boat than at home in bed! Great episode and good luck in your new position at Practical Sailor. Is there any chance of getting it released on READILY or failing that offering a discount to your loyal European subscribers? 😊
I head off concerns of tipping by explaining that it's called heeling and that the headlining hand holds are actually handrails for when floor and ceiling are walls.
On my first and only sailing attempt I managed to flip the boat completely upside down. It was a small, 2-person, rent by the hour sailboat on lake Murray in Oklahoma. We had about 15 minutes of instruction which included how to flip the boat back over if we flipped it. The wind was generally very light and there were several times that we just sat there drifting with no wind. Then, during one of those lulls a big gust hit us broadside and we were in the water. I climbed up on the slimey hull, grabbed the keel and leaned back. She flipped right side up and we climbed in, sail still up, no damage except the loss of 2 packs of smokes and 2 lighters. I'd love to try it again though, maybe with a slightly bigger boat.
On a hobbies, we purposely flip them over to getcooled off. I'm heavy enough to right an H16 by myself and spent a blustery fad on lake Hefner just zipping along and planting her in the water!
H O B I E. dam spell correct.
--Master the little boat first, before the bigger one teaches you bad habits. Another lesson will help.
--Almost never is there "no wind". Learn how to use it.
--In the scenario you describe, promptly letting go of the sheet would have saved you.
That video was a lot of fun to watch. Reminds me of us.
Remember, second wives sail.
We live in Thailand and just did a short cruise south of Kho Chang.
Down here, if it gets too windy, too hot, buggy, or uncomfortable, we can just stop at an island and check into a resort with AC. (And don’t worry, we can see the boat at all times)
The hard part is the 120 nautical miles to get between here and our marina. We need to take the boat back up north next month.
Any volunteers to help ?
Off topic but wondering if you could do another video like in 2023 about boat prices going down after Covid. Has that stopped?
Yet another hello!
Hello Hello!
@@LadyKSailing That was fast! LOL
Tim suggestion for a show you maybe have done already. Buying a boat, thing is where to dock it and costs. Not all of us are sailing down south . We are stuck in bays ( Quinte ) or Lake Ontario. So a 35 to 40 foot dream is out of the question since not all clubs can fit a 40 footer. With a winter haul out cradle on top of it crane and space. The biggest boat we have is about 35 feet . Club has said that is the biggest they allow. We all dream of sailing south but few end up there.
I got rid of the mono and bought a Lagoon. I think a Lagoon is as comfortable as you can get on a sailboat. The wife likes it much more.
Four bedrooms, four baths, dining room, hot water, dish washer laundromat, microwave, refrigerator, freezer, air conditioning. What's not to like? Never have to leave the slip. Some even have a dance floor and cocktail lounge.
Great video Tim. Beautifully timed for me. I just bought an endeavor 32 and haven’t splashed it yet. Wife keeps asking what we will do if she hates it? Needless to say I forwarded this video to her and keep hoping she catches the bug like I have.
Great episode! One of the best I think. Get a heavy mono-haul ...or get a catamaran! 😉😉
As you say, boats fall over not because of wind, nor soley due to waves, but due to the combination of high winds AND high waves. Despite the rarity for most recreational sailors, it happens quite a lot for ocean-going racers and adventurous idiots. Lol.
I love sailing, been doing it for all my life, but the part about, where are we going, i will go anywhere, anywhere but from point A to point A, if the destination is the same morring, then you dont need to invite me,
And yes everyone can learn to sail safely in an afternoon, but sail fast takes a lifetime,
But i don't really care for the efficiency and the speed, for me it's more about exploring, so less about the journey, especially if it's far from land, if there's nothing but water around the horizon, then i'm bored, there's plenty of other things to do, but sailing, that's just autopilot, i would go as far as saying, if i could carry enough solar panels, and a silent electric motor, i would prefer that, so not all sailors are the same, i would probably also be the one choosing the bay without other boats,
Sailing with sails cost about the same as sailing with a small diesel engine, it's definitely not for free, solar panels and batteries are not for free either, but prices are comming don't,
And if your wife doesn't want to sail, it's not her fault, you should have chosen better, if it's important to you.
12:40 my wife is being forced to like sailing gradually and going easy with her. If the boat heels too much when I’m close hauled I just let the boom out.
Thanks for this video Tim was perfectly timed as I just messaged you on FB about the same thing 😂
Some years back I bought a sales contract on a 42' John Alden cutter sloop. The first thing I did was let the struggling young couple move out of the expensive marina the seller insisted on, and live on the hook in a local bay. After a couple of years during which they were always in arrears and the boat mine for the taking, I worked with them instead and they eventually paid me off. About a year later the husband approached me and offered me the boat for a ridiculous $3k They had gone on a weekend cruise and got caught in a bad storm. After the stressful trip, as she stepped on the dinghy dock she told him that she loved him but would never crew for him again. "Get a smaller boat".
I took the deal. He bought a Ranger around 30' I rented the Alden out on the hook and continued making money with her until she disappeared in Hurricane Wilma.
Another great vid 👏🏼
Thanks!
My wife was against it but with time has come around and is 70% there. She does not like all the prep to get ready before and after a sail. Then the winter fill up the truck with all the stuff off the boat and where to put it in a small house.
Good man! There's something out there for all of us! I mean some body! 😂 Never give up all jokes included ❤❤
It's as if you were sitting in our living room last night. Hummm. She's not into it (she doesn't like camping either). Granted, she's been out twice. Once on a larger sunset charter (Not really sailing) and once out with friends on a 25 Capri. She hauled a sheet and took the tiller and seemed to like it. But the hook didn't sink in. She seemed to like it but had no desire to go again. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "What's the Point." She just isn't into the magic of making the boat move under sail. Maybe if I push ahead and climb the ASA ladder and charter a boat, she'll come around. I know she'll love a 45-foot Lagoon in the BVIs. A hotel on the water. That's the ticket.
IMHO, Tim, the easiest, cheapest way to learn sailing - without freaking out - is to get a used Windrider 17 and after twenty minutes of instruction (and hands on piloting) go out by yourself for a couple of hours. Two things that make this a great way to learn: you're facing forward (like in a car) and you can steer with your feet while your hands are free to mess with the sheets. And secondly, you'll never be able to capsize this boat no matter what. Sometimes people have to be at the helm to "get" it, and you can have a radio with you - hey, your hands are free.
I love to sail. I'm divorced for 12 years now and decided to get a FlyingJunior and fell in love. After a couple of years I upgraded to a 15 ft Sirocco and now have a Catalina 22. I sail in lakes in Iowa, but I yearn to do some Caribbean trips at some point. Love the videos !!!
Sweet! Somebody hook this lady up!
You did it right! Everything you learned you that FJ leaves you more qualified than most YT video-sailors crossing oceans in 50 ft.
Why do I like skiing going up a hill just to slide back down again.
Just got a new boat for my wife. Best. Trade. Ever.
😂 The gas stove catching on fire 😂 That happened to me on the back deck of my power boat 😮the solution I kicked it like a football into the big blue 🎉😂
Suggestion: A rolling Garment Rack with a sheet moderates the lighting.
When you getting out sailing again miss your vids of you out there sailing do you have a trip coming up
My wife is the reason I can only dream about sailing most of year. I am allowed to sail my little boat on a river for a few months in summer, maybe a couple hours a week, but that's as far as I will ever get. I paid for her training and she lived on a beautiful 44 ft. sailboat for 6 days in summer getting ASA trained 101-104 and passed all the test but she just complains about the money I wasted on it and has no interest in it so I just watch videos on youtube.
@erikaanderaa has a hilarious video when he takes his new g/f on a boat in the med, and she totally freaks out when it heels over!
That is his daughter. Ha, ha...she asks him if he's sure
Hey Lady K...I was wondering if you would be up loading your newer videos on Rumble? I'm starting to migrate away from YT, as it has gotten really bad with shadow banning and content creator demonetizing. I love your perspective and would love to see you newer content.
I like your videos, with almost 300 of them it is hard to find information on specific topics. Do you, or a viewer, know if there is a video discussing how to maintain or build skills after your ASA classes until you buy your first boat?
How about a video for women whose husbands refuse to sail?? It's not always reluctant women.
I finally talked my husband into a boat, but he refuses to leave the dock more than a few times each year 😂
I just LOVE to be on the water.
Practical advice from a Practical Sailor- it's Practice, Practice, Practice learning how to Sail better. Just drop the centreboard, hoist the sail and grab the tiller- Your Sailing now stay out and dream.
I❤⛵️
Mine get seasick in the bathtub.
So sailing for her is out of the questions.
Bernoulli's equation if you want to get really geek like.
My wife would have never taken any adventure even of the slightest risk. Our first date was a 5 day backing trip. Test 1, Seconds was scuba lessons finally diving to 110 ' in the gulf of Mexico test 2, White Water canoeing test 3 and 11 day canoe camping river trip test test 4. When comes to selling she is not as willing. It was Way too much coaching and convincing to get her through the other adventures. Not going to miss her
Oh wow!