Is Perfectionism a trauma response?
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- čas přidán 22. 07. 2021
- Is Perfectionism a trauma response?
Where does it stem from?
How did it all start?
Join me in DAY #2 on Perfectionism where I answer all your questions about it!
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//RELATED VIDEOS:
👓What is Perfectionism and what is NOT
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👓How Perfectionism can lead to Burnout
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I just had a mental breakdown because of the exhaustion related to perfectionism.
Oh nooo... So sorry to hear that, HK... Perfectionism leads nowhere close to perfection. Contrariwise, it leads to burnout, exhaustion, resentment, and loneliness. The good news is that recovery is possible; finding yourself and your energy back is possible. I am here if you need support in recovering from this breakdown.
Best,
Vassia
I’m there right now and it’s awful, the loneliness is overwhelming
I had trauma in childhood. I moved out in my own at age 13. I have had a huge blockage in making progress on….anything. Now I am a mother. I really want to parent well, get my home set up perfectly, eat healthy, make crafts, get into shape, etc etc etc. I struggle to even get my home clean. To even read.
I do hope I can escape from my OCD and perfectionism. It's been eating me up for more than 10 years now.
I grew up in a family that is rather poor and my family expecting a son to, well, uplift my family's social degree. I have to keep who's to be my friend, have to be skilled enough on every subjects, have to follow certain lessons to attend, etc. In the end, I have to follow what my family wants (in which either is based on their own will or pressure from richer peers), even until now.
My OCD first appeared when I watched a section from a health show. On there, it says that every objects are dirty, and to minimalize that, I have to use alcohol-based wipes to "clean" it. Ever since then, I see the world as dirty, unorganized place. Thus, I really, REALLY, gotta make sure that my place, my "habitat", a safe place for me to be able to do activities, or to be comfortable within my zone.
Long story short, these two really disturbs the way I do things, the way I see things. Call it a pressure, trauma, defense mechanism or anything but I really hate the fact that I have to live with these two. I just hope that one day, these two ends from my life.
Thank you for taking your time to read a story of a stranger.
Your story bears so much pain. A child should never have been responsible for a whole family's image in the world. The child should have received so much love so that they would learn that the world is a safe place for them to be. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I'm here to help if you ever need some more support. Take good care of yourself and love yourself as you are 🧡
Perfectionism is a defense against dependency. Kind of reaction formation.
Yes, I see what you mean. A perfectionist is indeed scared of people and depending on them. Hence they are driving themselves to this extreme independence so that they will feel safe. However, this can be exhausting and extremely lonely. Don't you think?
Extremely is the key word indeed
yeah every explanation ive heard is too externally focused as if I'm trying to get something from another by being perfect but i feel its fundamentally moreso that I'm unconsciously denying the fact that I have needs or 'dependencies', whether these are other people or basic self care, and that if i can just realize my enlightenment i'd finally transcend the world of illusions and so on. It's another tendency towards inhumanity.
Perfectionism is a response to insecurity of not being perfect enough and it comes from at home.
It's indeed a coping mechanism to our negative internal voice and our fear! Good point! 👌
Thank u so much ❤ hope you'll be having a great day reading this comment
Thank you for your kind words! 😍 I wish you a great day as well!
Very informative! Thanks 🙏
Glad it was helpful! 😊
Hi vassia. Thanks for the video was great. I’m a perfectionist that leads to depression and anxiety for many years. Can you produce a video on how to cure perfectionism please?? You are very insightful and I look forward to it so much ❤❤
Hi there! Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you found it useful! Of course, I'm going to be posting more videos about perfectionism and how to recover from the toxic side of it. Stay tuned! 😊
Thank you ❤
You're so welcome 😊
I'm a third generation perfectionist. (Self diagnosed after a lot of thinking and reading about the subject). Trough the years I have relaxed a little bit, and I'm not quite as obsessive
(OCD) as I used to be. However, I know people who are hoarders,...which is a different kind of obsession. I could not live this way..... having clutter all around me, doing things spontaneously, being unorganized. It's definitely in the genes.
Well done for all the work you have done with yourself and for cultivating a more healthy mindset 👏