Well she is a professional writer and has a whole Crew to help her achieve and make everything look professional and further her creativity and quality
Yes, please do. Life is so beautiful. Try to appreciate the little things in life, be grateful for even the tiniest good thing you have, just admire all those things and see how much you're missing out on. I'm speaking from experience. I'm so glad I stayed because things have gotten a LOT better!
Same... I don't want to die but i really see no point. My life is filled with pleasing others and always putting myself 2nd. I try to do or find what my purpose could be but i feel so useless and worthless all the time. And i hate that i feel this way, for not appreciating my life. Others had it worst and i don't deserve to complain. Because of this i feel like i live in a limbo where its not my life not my control. Just waiting ...
@@ungzheenedd2273 same tbh, I'm under so much pressure... My parents are so strict, my teachers expect a lot from me since I'm the best student in college, my friends expect me to be the happiest person in the world because I've always been like that, but in reality It's all just fake. I feel useless, my grades, my personality, the way I act, everything is NOT me. And I really hate the fact that I can't be myself because I don't want to disappoint anyone... I want to live freely, I just want to be normal, but it'll never happen. And that makes me cry every time. I hate it.
if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u
김제니 im very sorry, please read some of my advice. Please View these helpful Videos/Channels/Websites Channels I recommend: Physc2Go, Prince EA Websites: Myjournaldepression.com etc, Videos: Suicidal? This is for you. Applications: Ada Help, Texting Therapy, Online therapy. Im really sorry. I hope you recover. I feel you, Please dont think its the end of you. Ive felt that. And in the future, i realized that i could do it. Dont believe the thoughts in your head, dont know how to solve it? Try to ignore it or find help. Its your only choices
It is brave to live and face what ever happens to you.. you dont have the right to take a way the a life your God gave you.. you dont own it only all mighty Allah own it and only him can take it when ever it is the time ment
Hey. I know it's been 2 months since u wrote this comment but I found it only now. Are you ok? I know how it is to hurt. I know how it is to not like yourself. I am here for you if u need me. Lots of love💜I purple you
@@jams_1013 I'm very happy to hear you're doing better💜but still if you wish we can keep in touch so if you ever need someone to talk to I can be there for you💜
I hope you are in a slight better place right now. Don't hesitate to seek out for help if needed. Therapy helped me in my depression and suicidal tendencies a lot as well. I'm still healing, and I hope someday, we all get there.
@@hanabichan444 oh I’m in therapy and on medication. I even did a several week long intensive outpatient program. I think that’s part of why I’m tired. It’s just a trudge to keep trying and trying when like every part of you wants to stop
Imagine being able to believe that's true, I don't have hope as it only gets me hurt, I'm not special or important to anyone, the one person in the world who I truly love alot doesn't feel the same way. I don't want to try anymore. I want to not wake up
I think about this all the time but then the next misfortune always happens to me, then one day I sit in silence for a long time with so many thoughts running around. There are none, every scenarios I think always end the same way.
Or miserable things. Life doesn't always get better. The problem isn't the suicide, but the absence of the easy way out. Some people get to much of suffering and the irony is, you have to cause yourself even more pain to stop it. None of those who haven't gone through it, can truly understand it. That is why euthanasia is illegal in most countries. Most people are too self-centered and arrogant to realize that by forcing a person to live they only prolong his/her suffering.
@@BeautifuIBoi that is life, but there are many things that can help you feel happy, may you find it soon🙏💞 I still stuck with this thinking, but thankfully I manage to change my way of viewing things, and some things change🙌
Just imagine, you are an adult. You just got a boyfriend/girlfriend. Three days later, your boyfriend/girlfriend tells you they want to break up with you because your feet are too smol.
I dont speak the language but i know what its like to have your own mother disgusted disappointed and giving up on you. Shes waiting for you to be who she wants you to be and you know you never will. Its ok. Just always try to be the best version of yourself. You are good enough
"The only thing guaranteed when we're born are death and change. As I was trying to drown the thought came to me. Why not wait for the next wave of change?" that always helps
Ive struggled with wanting to die for half my life now. I tried several times to end my life. But it was not my time. I never felt i belonged here. I still dont. I continued to live, and yes. I saw some extreme beauty. But extreme suffering came with it. The beauty and intensity of life gets bigger as you grow. Its very hard. You want to be happy deep down. Of course. Everyone does. You come into the world with happiness in your heart and people just tear away at it. Unfortunately its part of the process so you can become the strong person one day who will stand up, look at it and realize you will smile again someday. Life cannot take away that beauty inside. Its in there. And it will come out. Dont worry. It always comes out. Because it cannot be killed. Blessings to mine out there who are struggling. Like me. Hopefully we will be ok. You never know, just remember to breathe.
I’m 12 years old. I used to feel the same way. I got over it. It was like this a few months ago. Talk to someone. It will help. Do things that make you happy. It will help.
@@DaHaMMeRz OR, it may not. Life doesn't always get better. The problem isn't the suicide, but the absence of the easy way out. Some people get to much of suffering and the irony is, you have to cause yourself even more pain to stop it. None of those who haven't gone through it, can truly understand it. That is why euthanasia is illegal in most countries. Most people are too self-centered and arrogant to realize that by forcing a person to live they only prolong his/her suffering.
I watched this with an electrical cord around my neck I just want to say thankyou for saving my life your projects are really inspiring and you're doing some real good
i kind of like how she used the death of her pet as the beginning of the downward spiral...thats something that truly, deeply affects people and can hurt as much as losing a loved one, but it is usually not taken serious enough. people are expected to just move on and get over it, kind of like mental health problems. it seems like a metaphor
@@desteny1393 they both happened really close together, within months of each other. I read her book, "so much I want to tell you" and she talks about how both of them happening so close together played a large part in her downward spiral.
She's just trying to sell you BetterHelp bullshit. Who paid for the production of this? Why are there no credits? You are being hustled. Just wait. My comment will be deleted or I will be blocked for trying to tell the truth.
It's nice to see that there's something on CZcams for all these people to relate to. When you find solidarity, you become even just a little bit better at fighting the hard fight. We are not alone.
I can't remember what it's like to be happy, but I'm working on it. I've had multiple traumas since I was 5 and I despised my existence since then. I tried to kill myself 4 times before I was 10, 12 times before I was 18. I'm 22 now, and the thing that made me stop trying to die was the permanence of it. If I changed my mind, there was no going back. For some reason, people seemed to think that if they guilted me enough, I wouldn't be suicidal, but that only added fuel to the fire. So, to anyone out there who reads this: some of us do make it out of the spiraling hellhole of suicidal thoughts and behaviors, while others are on their journeys. It is OK to be wherever you are in your journey, and it's OK to wonder if life's even worth it. What isn't OK is to believe with all your heart that you aren't worth anything. You are a human being, no matter how broken or battered, and you deserve to believe that you are precious and worthy of respect-- even respect from yourself. It might take months, years, or decades to come to terms with that reality, but, even if you're unwilling to accept it, it will still be fact. If you're going through anything, I love you and here are some hugs!
I've been suicidal for nearly my whole life, and I only have one rule about it. I only do it when I feel like it. Even if I've been planning, if I'm not feeling it, if I don't want to anymore, if I have any doubts in my mind, I save it for another day. Because, as was said, what's the rush? This mentality has saved my life. I'm still waiting for good days again, but it's good enough right now that I don't think about suicide as a viable option, and I'm grateful for that. Keep on living, don't rush death, because it will come one day, one way or another. You always have the option to try again if you stay. You can't come back to life if you're not 100% in.
Just how difficult must it have been for you to film those scenes about your sister, especially that scene in the wardrobe.. Thank you, Anna. You're changing the world
(If you are) if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u
The part with the little girl in the coffin at the end made me cry because I’ve thought of things younger than that and what would my family do? Ahgg Jesus
Lowkey out of all the short flim's I've watched I just really love this one. It lets off a completely different feel then most and I just love the colors and everything
@@dianar6600 me to when kids are bieng asshole and I'm to scared to say something it slowly kills me. I just keep rewinding it in my head the whole day thinking of how horrible my life and the day was, I don't know how to make it go away. and my parents dont know . I make myself put a happy face on whith my family
I can relate to this so much. It breaks my heart to see people that I admire having passed through such similar hard and desperate moments. My respect for you Anna went way, way up.
You guys are so depressing, always saying how your life is bad and things blablabla, go ahead, life gets better, stop murmuring and being such a dramatic person, go and battle against the world and even yourself, in a good way of course.
@@warrior7038 I very much agree with you. I now realize that my comment is very much dramatic. I will now stop commenting about how I relate to things on a personal level. Thank you kind stranger for opening my eyes.
@@kurimus8299 That's okay to have feelings and express your emotions, but being depressed and dramatic won't help you to make your life better, I'm not criticizing anyone, just saying that to not confuse others and clarify my point here.
@@LoveIXTC I'm sorry life is that way for you. That makes me sad, and I don't even know you. I hope you can find a reason to smile... There will always be pain, it's how you push though it & find the beauty that creates unbreakable strength. I sincerely hope you find it!
This is really a masterpiece. I laughed, I cried, I felt hope, I felt empathy, I felt my own experiences represented... This is a true work of the heart and soul. Incredible. Yes, there were some rough parts and whatnot. But I loved the filmmaking techniques and the message was so powerful. What an amazing short, special, beautiful film.
Dear, Anna. My mother killed herself right after I turned 18. It breaks my heart over and over again. Your videos help me with that pain in a way that no one else ever has. They help me to cope with the past, value myself even though I never had the love of a parent, and to have hope for the future me. Thank you so much for restoring my faith in myself and changing the way I feel about my past. -I Love you.
Its weird seing Karan as the cool kid. I'm used to see him as a nerd. He is such a great actor Wow!!! Seriously guys thanks for thanks for the likes!!! Never gotten so many!!!
seeing someone open up about their experience and struggles makes me feel all the less alone-and seeing someone who is now thriving and working on herself to be better despite her difficulties makes me all the more hopeful for my future and career. You’re videos have really helped-even for ppl who may not struggle particularly with depression but other or similar issues. You’ve given me a new positive outlook and hope and I thank you for that
Btw, the teacher is teaching portuguese. I could only thought to myself "why is that?", but for those of you that don't speak portuguese she kept saying "And now we are going to learn how to say 'how are you?' How are you is a great way to great other people. How are you?'. Every detail in this film is important.
Jonina Cuevas there are many similarities between Portuguese and Spanish. Cómo estás, in both languages, means “How are you?” But they are not the same.
Its amazing how Anna can have the strength to act out the fight she had with her sister before her suicide, I love you Anna and I think you are a wonderful voice for change
This helped me so much when I saw it a few years ago. I'm getting my mom to write this (I'm 35+, she's 70+) and I'm getting a tattoo on my left arm: What if you stayed? Waited for the next wave? You know, baby You can die anytime What's the rush? Your grandmother is support in a way many of us don't realize is real. Thank you for bringing her to us.
I remember quietly sneaking past my mom's room to the hallway, quietly tip-toeing down the basement stairs to get the smallest screwdriver I could find. Then quietly marching my way back up the stairs towards my room and locking the door. To unscrew my only pencil sharpener and removing the blade, slitting my wrists and waist and arms and thighs and repeating those steps over and over until I was satisfied that I had punished myself enough. Punished myself for being me. For being who I am. For being alive. I've wanted to die. I still want to die. But now instead of carefully taking apart that pencil sharpener, I think. I think long and hard. I think about the waves and the sound they make when they hit the sand beneath my toes. I think about the colors that strawberries are on the hot july days when all you can wear are tank tops and shorts. I think about the people who love me. I think about the concerts I havent been to. People I've never met. Places Ive never visited. And I put myself into the position of someone else, for however long it takes. Maybe my mom. Maybe my dad. Boyfriend. Uncle. Best friend. Teacher. What would it be like if I didnt live another day? What would happen if I didnt get to see that movie on Sunday? They didnt get to give me my christmas present they spent so much time and money on? Those are the things that matter. You matter. You'll be ok. I'm ok. I wasnt, but I am now. We all die, why rush it? Theres so much to experience in life. I love you. Dont forget that.
This was a great representation of life and depression and how it can feel like your drowning in the ocean I love the animation edits everything I once felt this way a lot so having someone reach out to showing what I’m actually going through and NOT just me was really touching thank you 🙏
Gummy_bears1262 I wish I could hug you and make everything better! 💜 You are strong and amazing, and things will get better. I don't know what you're going through, but change is one guarantee in life, you can get through this. For what it's worth, I'm here if you ever want to talk or rant or anything. I'm rooting for you!
This was so beautiful. I cried my eyes out. I've struggled with mental illness since I was a teenager and we're the same age. Th last four years I have worked so hard om myself and my mental health. I found your channel a few weeks ago and I love your content. I appreciate how open and vulnerable you are in your channel and is beautiful. Thank you.
Anna, I'm glad you're sticking it out. I know I'm just kinda a faceless guy on the internet, but I'm still rooting for you. You won't be alone. And whoever reads this, I'm rooting for you, too. No matter how hard it feels, you have someone on your side. Live.
@@vay5540 No, it doesn't satisfy me at all. But without these suicidal thoughts, I have the feeling not to be me. It feels wrong and alien to not have to think about suicide. It feels like my thoughts have been exchanged with someone else's. Could be a dependency of this feeling, I don't know.
Sometimes mental illness can take up so much space in our minds and souls that we feel it is a part of us and it can feel weirdly empty once its not there anymore. You are not alone in feeling that way. I suggest trying different things and hobbies to try to figure out who you are and redefine yourself so that feeling of emptiness can be less present.
It’s because you feel comfortable with the options. There are multiple options in life we have to choose and it’s for some reason comforting to know that we can make it all stop at anytime but we still choose to fight it out of curiosity of the world. Without those options we would feel empty.
Came back here every time i need to remind myself to not rush. I hope everyone who’s reading this will remember that there’s so many good things waiting ahead of you. Let’s stay
“When it comes to death, why rush. We all get there sooner or later. The only thing guarantee when we’re born are death and change. Why not wait for the next wave of change? What if I stayed? What beautiful things could be waiting for me? I can die anytime. What’s the rush” I just want the pain to be over.
Rasmatallia Solomon if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u
my friend Skye killed herself last summer by jumping out her bedroom window into the driveway. She was 13. AT the time I was in a very depressive state but after Skye died too soon I realized that I had to give it time for life to get better. And life's been hell and it just doesn't feel worth it but I've made it over a year since Skye died and I'm going to try to live for at least another year in hopes for things getting better. I'm going to stay alive for Skye (and coincidentally tomorrow, November 5, would've been her 15th birthday. Happy birthday pal, I miss you)
Don't wait for life to get better, make it better. Life might not be hell but your mindset is, so your mind needs the change. If it's hard for you to get motivated, let a professional motivate you to motivate yourself. Or get into self help, there's a lot of videos or forums or books about self help. Important is to make little steps and one day you'll wonder how far you've come and how beautiful life can be if you want it to be beautiful.
“You know you can die at anytime... but what’s the rush?” That hit hard. Sometimes you just need here something so simple, yet so honest for things to click and make sense. I can’t say that it would keep me from feeling/thinking the way I do sometimes, but it’s something I think I’ll be reminded of when I am in those moments. Thank you Anna, I love when you talk about this cause it’s real, you completely understand the feelings. They make me feel but they also encourage me to push through.
Let me tell you guys something: Staying alive, living to see another day? That's the single greatest thing you can do for yourself. There is so much more ahead of you that you don't even realize. Because I chose to stay alive and receive help, I got to meet so many more people. I got to gain more opportunities. I graduated college. I get to spend more time with my niece I totally adore and adores me back. I got to reconnect with people. I get to meet my nephew, who will be born in a few days from now. The most important thing I got though is that I got time. I got the time to see the wave of change from wanting to die to seeing how beautiful and bright things can be. I got to change and that's the beautiful thing about being a human. We get to grow and change. We have the time to stick around a little more and see what life could offer.
Okay but the production of this is amazing. It starts with such bright, pretty colors and relatively tame and juvenile problems that most teens experience (i.e. first heartbreak, the mean girl and her clique) but then the colors gradually get cooler and darker toned and the themes become more mature. It starts with the death of her dog, like this is the beginning of her downward spiral. This is the first season, when thing after thing just goes wrong like the deterioration of her relationship with her sister, her suicidal thoughts, and her entrance into drugs. This teen angst then carries into her early adult life and manifests into full blown misery. Her relationship with her mother falls apart, her first real heartbreak happens, and her isolation becomes more severe (she’s completely isolated herself from her friends and family at the New Year’s party). She feels alone and pessimistic about the world. She doesn’t see the beauty in it anymore. She doesn’t see a way out or a silver lining. She’s approaching rock bottom. But then, quite literally, she sees the light at the end of the tunnel. I can almost say that it’s a “you only find something when you stop looking” kind of thing. Throughout the film she seemed to be chasing the perfect life. The perfect boyfriend. The dream job that only wounded her further. Meaning to her life. But by the end, after she echos her grandmother’s brilliant advice (“you can go anytime. What’s the rush?”), she is finding her peace. The love of her life just sort of pops up. She begins to repair her broken relationships. She’s no longer isolating herself. Her entire perspective on life and the world has changed. This is shown through the parallels (another New Year’s party, cutting strawberries) This is a very underrated and brilliant film. I come back to it every now and then whenever I don’t see the point and feel like I’m stuck in this season of my life.
This is what my depression feels like. All day. Everyday. I hardly feel it anymore. I tell myself every time that I am useful. I am important. But it’s bad.
My mother hates me and yells at me for every little thing I do and says that she’ll give me away. My older sister hates me and doesn’t talk to me. My best friend left me because someone talk me up to her. I only trust my dog at this point - he has never hurt me
Well dogs are incredible friends.. they are better than humans but we all love you... and even your mother will realise that she loves you but some things takes time. We all love you💕
i don’t think she hates u she probably have been going thro bad things when she was little and she’s probably being hard on u my mom has been thro some things in her childhood that made her be who she is
omgggt i cant believe i found this after 2 years. I just wanna say that this has totally changed my perspective on wanting to die. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS. ur so brave and strong for moving forward and pushing through when all u wanted to do was give up. I hope my wave of change ( for the better i hope lol) comes sooner. P.S. I love ur videos and they help me understand so many things better. ur doing great. And you're inspiring so many thru what you do. Love you❤️
her content is WAY too high quality for youtube oml
But everyone deserve therapy so 😁
Well she is a professional writer and has a whole Crew to help her achieve and make everything look professional and further her creativity and quality
Ikr
yeppppp
Im doing it now.
"you know baby, you can die anytime. but what's the rush?" that got to me. this helped for reason.
Swapna K those words gave me a reason not be scared of how I felt or what was about to happen
Ikr
yeah
Damn this is a good one..
I think you're wrong, why experience years of hard life?
“I don’t want to die but I sometimes wish I’ve never been born at all” - Freddie Mercury
Me too
@@jessicascott4505 why don’t you want to be born? You are beautiful!! 😇
Same
Yeah why don't pro-life people ever realize not everyone is grateful to be born.
I feel you. I certainly regret being born with this illness, schizophrenia.
i don’t want to die, i just want to enjoy living.
Yes, please do. Life is so beautiful. Try to appreciate the little things in life, be grateful for even the tiniest good thing you have, just admire all those things and see how much you're missing out on. I'm speaking from experience. I'm so glad I stayed because things have gotten a LOT better!
You can!
Same... I don't want to die but i really see no point. My life is filled with pleasing others and always putting myself 2nd. I try to do or find what my purpose could be but i feel so useless and worthless all the time. And i hate that i feel this way, for not appreciating my life. Others had it worst and i don't deserve to complain. Because of this i feel like i live in a limbo where its not my life not my control. Just waiting ...
@@ungzheenedd2273 same tbh, I'm under so much pressure... My parents are so strict, my teachers expect a lot from me since I'm the best student in college, my friends expect me to be the happiest person in the world because I've always been like that, but in reality It's all just fake. I feel useless, my grades, my personality, the way I act, everything is NOT me. And I really hate the fact that I can't be myself because I don't want to disappoint anyone... I want to live freely, I just want to be normal, but it'll never happen. And that makes me cry every time. I hate it.
@@nicoleb.496 hey..so sorry you have to go through that. you want to connect? My insta nedd_ung . Maybe we can chat more
Some of us don’t wanna die , some of us just wanna stop feeling the way we are feeling
You are a beautiful person. I know life is hard but never forget that you are never alone :) ❤
if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u
Raindrop Mya sometimes getting help doesn’t help everyone
김제니 im very sorry, please read some of my advice.
Please View these helpful Videos/Channels/Websites
Channels I recommend: Physc2Go, Prince EA
Websites: Myjournaldepression.com etc,
Videos: Suicidal? This is for you.
Applications: Ada Help, Texting Therapy, Online therapy.
Im really sorry. I hope you recover. I feel you, Please dont think its the end of you. Ive felt that. And in the future, i realized that i could do it.
Dont believe the thoughts in your head, dont know how to solve it? Try to ignore it or find help. Its your only choices
Bingo
“Sometimes being alive is an act of courage”
...or cowardice... just depends
"have the courage to exist" :)
Agreed
@@nicolealexandra1392 exciting is not living
It is brave to live and face what ever happens to you.. you dont have the right to take a way the a life your God gave you.. you dont own it only all mighty Allah own it and only him can take it when ever it is the time ment
"when it comes to death, why rush?"
because i'm impatient.
But that’s the hellish beauty of death, you never know when it’ll happen so you won’t have to prepare for any pain
@@anonperson3197 ...im not christian but that made ME feel better :)
To that comment my dark humor can relate 🤷♀️
SAME
I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to be me anymore 😣
Same. I don't want to be this person who nobody wants, not even myself.
Hey. I know it's been 2 months since u wrote this comment but I found it only now. Are you ok? I know how it is to hurt. I know how it is to not like yourself. I am here for you if u need me. Lots of love💜I purple you
Violet Snake I’m doing better now, thank you for asking 💜💜💜
@@jams_1013 I'm very happy to hear you're doing better💜but still if you wish we can keep in touch so if you ever need someone to talk to I can be there for you💜
bruh
“You don’t have to light yourself on fire to keep others warm”
But I do for the ones I care about.
Poody hood I do that a lot and I can’t stop... 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞
@@pekopekoyama4945 That's not being a friend to yourself.
Did that a lot.
Good saying 😊
"you have small feet"
Her "what?"
Me what?
Janina Ve I think that it was meant to mean her body isn’t “perfect” or an excuse to just break up
What
@@abinothayyilsanoj4182 Her feet were hecka smallin man
@@brysonwashington7227 I know .
I just typed "what "
Right, I was like,
Wtf bro?! What's wrong with small feet, ugh!
Sometimes u don’t realize, a simple “hello” can change a person’s life.. a simple “have u eat yet?”.. Can save someone’s life
But maybe sometimes you’re just really, really tired. Just so miserably tired
Hey sister LIFE is about WISDOM
check this out
czcams.com/video/BdGJ7s75Mb8/video.html
I am really tired of this life 😣😣😣😭😭😭😭. I just want to die
I hope you are in a slight better place right now. Don't hesitate to seek out for help if needed. Therapy helped me in my depression and suicidal tendencies a lot as well. I'm still healing, and I hope someday, we all get there.
@@hanabichan444 oh I’m in therapy and on medication. I even did a several week long intensive outpatient program. I think that’s part of why I’m tired. It’s just a trudge to keep trying and trying when like every part of you wants to stop
yes!
The scene with her mom being angry... That hit me so hard.
Me too.
Me too, a similar thing happened last week
“Why are you depressed?! Stop being depressed!!”
As if getting mad at me will help.
because it’s so close to home
That was my mom less than a hour before she stormed off somewhere.
Do u ever lay down in ur bed at night and thinking how not okay u are?
I have spent so many nights doing that
Every night..
Yeah
yes, e v e r y night
@BubbleTea same. I always think they would just scream at me or say thats all just fake and say things which I dont need/cant help
"You know, baby. You can die anytime. What's the rush?" I love that
"But what if I stayed?"
"What beautiful things could be waiting for me?"
This two lines are enough to make me cry and make me at least try to live.
Please keep living. You have so many beautiful things waiting for you!
@@Julia-sp2kt Thanks 💜
Imagine being able to believe that's true, I don't have hope as it only gets me hurt, I'm not special or important to anyone, the one person in the world who I truly love alot doesn't feel the same way. I don't want to try anymore. I want to not wake up
@@brassy9425 same if the simple sentence can make you happy then news flash your problem wasn't that deep to begin with
I think about this all the time but then the next misfortune always happens to me, then one day I sit in silence for a long time with so many thoughts running around. There are none, every scenarios I think always end the same way.
“What if I stayed what beautiful things could be waiting for me”
God I never realized how much my heart needed that
Or miserable things. Life doesn't always get better. The problem isn't the suicide, but the absence of the easy way out. Some people get to much of suffering and the irony is, you have to cause yourself even more pain to stop it. None of those who haven't gone through it, can truly understand it. That is why euthanasia is illegal in most countries. Most people are too self-centered and arrogant to realize that by forcing a person to live they only prolong his/her suffering.
me too
Lucky you, I couldn't pass through it, I wish I was more patient and now I am dead :(
@@BeautifuIBoi that is life, but there are many things that can help you feel happy, may you find it soon🙏💞 I still stuck with this thinking, but thankfully I manage to change my way of viewing things, and some things change🙌
Jesus Loves you, don't give up.
Just imagine, you are an adult. You just got a boyfriend/girlfriend. Three days later, your boyfriend/girlfriend tells you they want to break up with you because your feet are too smol.
So sAdz.
ur feet are HECKA smol
@@jaedajolee7216 I just imagined that and wow
I WISH LOL im so insecure about my feet and I want to
Correction: Small not smol
Coming back to this a few months later, I'm glad I didn't kill myself
im so happy your alive
How are you now? And you know you are the strongest person I know cuz staying alive is the strongest and hardest decision anyone can make.
Thankyou both ♡ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I'm doing much better ☆ hope you're well
@@miafine2584 yess thanks
pls continue holding on
um when the mom was yelling, it hit me so hard. The mom was speaking japanese and i could understand every single word
i'm half korean so in a way i can't relate but her voice still completely resonated with me and felt so real
I dont speak the language but i know what its like to have your own mother disgusted disappointed and giving up on you. Shes waiting for you to be who she wants you to be and you know you never will. Its ok. Just always try to be the best version of yourself. You are good enough
I got suddenly emotional cause I remember it being this way
Hobii Army 💜
Hobii same
I know, hon. Hang in there. Please stick around. All my best wishes to you always.
Eh, i was just being dramatic like honestly im so fragile...
@@shivalimohindru6668 heyyy 💜
*I always try to make everyone happy... except myself*
Same pain😊
*except
yeah same...
Kostas Kostakis exactly me
same
IK THIS IS SAD BUT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE L CALENDER?????
Ikr
PLS I WAS THINKING OF THAT
fr tho that made me happy lmao
Omg yes, I was like where is you get that I need one right now :D
I'm sorry , what do you mean by L calendar?
I don’t wanna die anymore. But I want...
-a happy and peaceful family
-happiness
-peace
-a hug
-friends that don’t bully me
-privacy
@Minna Okubo *hugs back* tysm ッ
Humans are the living definition of a paradox. So fragile yet so strong.
KOMODO GREY ain’t that the truth!
Greward of Rivivia
Diamonds are fragile..?
You guys are real edgy
Almighty Egglord Like a Diamond?
"you know baby you can die anytime, but what's the rush"
That sentence is so beautiful
@@user-eu8vv6ko7y ikr
Cool. I'll kill myself next week. 👍
@@burntmother. tf
If you can even find comfort while you live
"The only thing guaranteed when we're born are death and change. As I was trying to drown the thought came to me. Why not wait for the next wave of change?" that always helps
Sometimes it really does feel like you're just jumping from one "I want to die" to the next.
Lets just be happy Ravi FINNALY got a girlfriend
True it's kinda surprising lol
LMAO WKRJRJSKJSHDHD
He's 19.. and hot, so I don't see why not XD
willowing El._ Lol this is amazing
I thought the exact same thing
I cried almost all the way through this. This is a masterpiece and I'm so glad it exists now.
Tessa Violet 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Same!
♥️
Same.. It's too good
Deserves more views
I love this because it shows how seemingly little things can build up to something huge
Ive struggled with wanting to die for half my life now. I tried several times to end my life. But it was not my time. I never felt i belonged here. I still dont. I continued to live, and yes. I saw some extreme beauty. But extreme suffering came with it. The beauty and intensity of life gets bigger as you grow. Its very hard. You want to be happy deep down. Of course. Everyone does. You come into the world with happiness in your heart and people just tear away at it. Unfortunately its part of the process so you can become the strong person one day who will stand up, look at it and realize you will smile again someday. Life cannot take away that beauty inside. Its in there. And it will come out. Dont worry. It always comes out. Because it cannot be killed. Blessings to mine out there who are struggling. Like me. Hopefully we will be ok. You never know, just remember to breathe.
I don't want to live my life anymore...
But I'm scared to die
Vyloe Rears please don’t do anything
Vyloe Rears * THIS IS NOT A JOKE*:Get help
I’m 12 years old. I used to feel the same way. I got over it. It was like this a few months ago. Talk to someone. It will help. Do things that make you happy. It will help.
This is exactly what I feel.
I feel exactly the same way
Wow youtube knows about my depression recomending me this
Magda N CZcams knows all
But you k?
fr💀
Sameee
I get you
SAME OML
Her cutting the strawberries and hesitating is my favourite part.
*Not suicidal, I just really need a place alone for me to breath, away from things that suffocate me*
’’When it comes to death, why rush? We all get there sooner or later’’
I will have this on my grave, when i do die.
Exactly
Why not rush it? If a person is in constant psychological pain, is it wrong for them to wish for a swift death?
@@zu-zu5940 yes it's bad because you could miss lots of special moments
@@zu-zu5940 One's luck can change in any given day and especially with the right people
@@DaHaMMeRz OR, it may not. Life doesn't always get better. The problem isn't the suicide, but the absence of the easy way out. Some people get to much of suffering and the irony is, you have to cause yourself even more pain to stop it. None of those who haven't gone through it, can truly understand it. That is why euthanasia is illegal in most countries. Most people are too self-centered and arrogant to realize that by forcing a person to live they only prolong his/her suffering.
i’m not crying, you’re crying
this was beautiful
Mitchell Davis I’m not crying, I’m hyperventilating
I don’t know what you look like, but I can easily tell that you are too.
Yup...I am crying...lmao
You're right i am cryinggg
My eyes are just sweaty today...
I watched this with an electrical cord around my neck I just want to say thankyou for saving my life your projects are really inspiring and you're doing some real good
Huh
I’ve been really struggling lately. Thank you Anna
I send you courage ! ♡
i kind of like how she used the death of her pet as the beginning of the downward spiral...thats something that truly, deeply affects people and can hurt as much as losing a loved one, but it is usually not taken serious enough. people are expected to just move on and get over it, kind of like mental health problems. it seems like a metaphor
i think that was a metaphor of when her sister died, especially beacuse she was arguing withe her the scene before
@@desteny1393 they both happened really close together, within months of each other. I read her book, "so much I want to tell you" and she talks about how both of them happening so close together played a large part in her downward spiral.
feelingReckless13 oh i didn’t know that! Thanks for telling me now I really want to read her book❤️
@@desteny1393 you're welcome! it's an amazing book, I definitely cried a lot, but I laughed a lot too. She's an amazing writer, obviously, lol.
feelingReckless13 i didn’t know she had a book!! thank you! :)
You've helped someone today.
She's just trying to sell you BetterHelp bullshit. Who paid for the production of this? Why are there no credits? You are being hustled. Just wait. My comment will be deleted or I will be blocked for trying to tell the truth.
Stop the Philosophical Zombies wdym bro. Credits are at the end the vid is just about Suicide Prevention or Awareness
“Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else”
I try to remember to rewatch this once a year. It's such a good one.
It’s sad to see how many people relate to the title 😭
*hugs*
Indeed
It's nice to see that there's something on CZcams for all these people to relate to. When you find solidarity, you become even just a little bit better at fighting the hard fight. We are not alone.
@The Gaming Giraffe 😂 true
I find it hard to believe there are people who *don't* relate to the title.
“But you’re my person” I felt that entire scene 🤧
that reminded me of cristina yang to meredith
I can't remember what it's like to be happy, but I'm working on it. I've had multiple traumas since I was 5 and I despised my existence since then. I tried to kill myself 4 times before I was 10, 12 times before I was 18. I'm 22 now, and the thing that made me stop trying to die was the permanence of it. If I changed my mind, there was no going back. For some reason, people seemed to think that if they guilted me enough, I wouldn't be suicidal, but that only added fuel to the fire. So, to anyone out there who reads this: some of us do make it out of the spiraling hellhole of suicidal thoughts and behaviors, while others are on their journeys. It is OK to be wherever you are in your journey, and it's OK to wonder if life's even worth it. What isn't OK is to believe with all your heart that you aren't worth anything. You are a human being, no matter how broken or battered, and you deserve to believe that you are precious and worthy of respect-- even respect from yourself. It might take months, years, or decades to come to terms with that reality, but, even if you're unwilling to accept it, it will still be fact.
If you're going through anything, I love you and here are some hugs!
I really hope things get better for you I'm so so sorry you had to go through that..
I've been suicidal for nearly my whole life, and I only have one rule about it. I only do it when I feel like it. Even if I've been planning, if I'm not feeling it, if I don't want to anymore, if I have any doubts in my mind, I save it for another day. Because, as was said, what's the rush? This mentality has saved my life. I'm still waiting for good days again, but it's good enough right now that I don't think about suicide as a viable option, and I'm grateful for that. Keep on living, don't rush death, because it will come one day, one way or another. You always have the option to try again if you stay. You can't come back to life if you're not 100% in.
7 months later, and good days have come again. The wait is worth it.
Just how difficult must it have been for you to film those scenes about your sister, especially that scene in the wardrobe..
Thank you, Anna. You're changing the world
@@snowcolors6597 you must not understand his/ her comment
@@snowcolors6597 her sister killed herself irl
nataly gonzalez oh god, I didn’t knew that
She had a sister? that's so sad and depressing. It would be really hard.Man...
When I read this comment I just say that part.
😰😘💛
I have a sticky note on my dashboard that says, "It’s okay…It’s just another day…Just keep fighting…You’ll be free one day…"
Thank you for this, Anna.
(If you are) if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u
I've got a sticky note too! It says it's going to be alright, believe in yourself, breath and have faith.
@@mamienovacuisine I dont anymore im so done with those im so done with the smile i dont get to have
when will that day come? does that day really exist?
@@KeyAiko- I hope you are still doing well and if you are not i hope you like this....🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
The part with the little girl in the coffin at the end made me cry because I’ve thought of things younger than that and what would my family do? Ahgg Jesus
Same
Lowkey out of all the short flim's I've watched I just really love this one. It lets off a completely different feel then most and I just love the colors and everything
You know it's back when you start watching these again, and listening to sad music
I don't want it to come back
It comes back. It always comes back.
I thought I was the only one... kind of cruel, but somehow I am glad I'm not alone
Im falling back into that hole i tried to climb out of
Scarlett Knight : lets find our way out together.
This conveys everything that a depressed person feels perfectly. Little things just make you feel awful.
kiki 1907 Wow. I’ve been depressed this week and I’ve been asking myself why. Now I see that it IS little things.
@@dianar6600 me to when kids are bieng asshole and I'm to scared to say something it slowly kills me. I just keep rewinding it in my head the whole day thinking of how horrible my life and the day was, I don't know how to make it go away. and my parents dont know . I make myself put a happy face on whith my family
I can relate to this so much. It breaks my heart to see people that I admire having passed through such similar hard and desperate moments. My respect for you Anna went way, way up.
"I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all"
~ Freddie Mercury (Bohemian Rhapsody)
It's sad people relate. It's sad I'm one of them.
No don't be nuuuu
You guys are so depressing, always saying how your life is bad and things blablabla, go ahead, life gets better, stop murmuring and being such a dramatic person, go and battle against the world and even yourself, in a good way of course.
@@warrior7038 I very much agree with you. I now realize that my comment is very much dramatic. I will now stop commenting about how I relate to things on a personal level. Thank you kind stranger for opening my eyes.
A Pet Named Steve their response was crap. You’re allowed to have feelings and to express them.
@@kurimus8299 That's okay to have feelings and express your emotions, but being depressed and dramatic won't help you to make your life better, I'm not criticizing anyone, just saying that to not confuse others and clarify my point here.
Everyone says "itll get better", but I've heard those same words for 6 years now😖
It only gets better when you decide to walk a different path. ❤ Create a Life how you want it ❤
@@MarcellaJ07 thats easier said then done. Happieness in this sick world is a lie.
@@LoveIXTC I'm sorry life is that way for you. That makes me sad, and I don't even know you. I hope you can find a reason to smile... There will always be pain, it's how you push though it & find the beauty that creates unbreakable strength. I sincerely hope you find it!
Kay t I’ve heard it for 4 years I’m 11 at this moment
I know I need help
But I can’t reach it
Tony Morales Someone is always ready to listen. Whether it is someone you know, or a hotline, know that somebody will always be in your corner.
This is really a masterpiece. I laughed, I cried, I felt hope, I felt empathy, I felt my own experiences represented... This is a true work of the heart and soul. Incredible. Yes, there were some rough parts and whatnot. But I loved the filmmaking techniques and the message was so powerful. What an amazing short, special, beautiful film.
Dear, Anna.
My mother killed herself right after I turned 18. It breaks my heart over and over again. Your videos help me with that pain in a way that no one else ever has. They help me to cope with the past, value myself even though I never had the love of a parent, and to have hope for the future me. Thank you so much for restoring my faith in myself and changing the way I feel about my past.
-I Love you.
Its weird seing Karan as the cool kid. I'm used to see him as a nerd.
He is such a great actor
Wow!!! Seriously guys thanks for thanks for the likes!!! Never gotten so many!!!
Lol his voice cracked
Sofia G debatable
Me too...
Yeah me too
Right
The fact so many people have the same thoughts just shows how screwed this world is.
go to the jimin park its a really pretty park
The fact that your name is so long makes u tonight’s biggest loser
Because he doesn't have a editing software to make memes
armyyyy
This is a pretty screwed up,dark world
ARMY bts
i remember watching this a few years ago in such a dark place, i never thought id still be here but somehow i am
#lifesuckssuicide #mylifeisshit #Godkillmenow 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
seeing someone open up about their experience and struggles makes me feel all the less alone-and seeing someone who is now thriving and working on herself to be better despite her difficulties makes me all the more hopeful for my future and career. You’re videos have really helped-even for ppl who may not struggle particularly with depression but other or similar issues. You’ve given me a new positive outlook and hope and I thank you for that
Btw, the teacher is teaching portuguese. I could only thought to myself "why is that?", but for those of you that don't speak portuguese she kept saying "And now we are going to learn how to say 'how are you?' How are you is a great way to great other people. How are you?'.
Every detail in this film is important.
Blonda I thought it was Spanish
Jonina Cuevas there are many similarities between Portuguese and Spanish. Cómo estás, in both languages, means “How are you?” But they are not the same.
Its amazing how Anna can have the strength to act out the fight she had with her sister before her suicide, I love you Anna and I think you are a wonderful voice for change
CccYou I can only imagine how hard it was for her to make that scene. I had chills
Think about that
The last words your sister heard from you are
*I h a t e y o u*
@@lightdarkequivalent7143 😭
Anna you will probably never see this but , thank you, thank you for giving all of us a reason to keep going
This helped me so much when I saw it a few years ago. I'm getting my mom to write this (I'm 35+, she's 70+) and I'm getting a tattoo on my left arm:
What if you stayed?
Waited for the next wave?
You know, baby
You can die anytime
What's the rush?
Your grandmother is support in a way many of us don't realize is real. Thank you for bringing her to us.
I remember quietly sneaking past my mom's room to the hallway, quietly tip-toeing down the basement stairs to get the smallest screwdriver I could find. Then quietly marching my way back up the stairs towards my room and locking the door. To unscrew my only pencil sharpener and removing the blade, slitting my wrists and waist and arms and thighs and repeating those steps over and over until I was satisfied that I had punished myself enough. Punished myself for being me. For being who I am. For being alive. I've wanted to die. I still want to die. But now instead of carefully taking apart that pencil sharpener, I think. I think long and hard. I think about the waves and the sound they make when they hit the sand beneath my toes. I think about the colors that strawberries are on the hot july days when all you can wear are tank tops and shorts. I think about the people who love me. I think about the concerts I havent been to. People I've never met. Places Ive never visited. And I put myself into the position of someone else, for however long it takes. Maybe my mom. Maybe my dad. Boyfriend. Uncle. Best friend. Teacher. What would it be like if I didnt live another day? What would happen if I didnt get to see that movie on Sunday? They didnt get to give me my christmas present they spent so much time and money on? Those are the things that matter. You matter. You'll be ok. I'm ok. I wasnt, but I am now. We all die, why rush it? Theres so much to experience in life. I love you. Dont forget that.
Goddamn that was beautiful
Pls right a book
damn, that was amazing.
thank you. that brought tears to my eyes. thank you so much.
💙
At the beginning was anyone else screaming, RAVI!!!
yep
I died when i heared that voice crack hahahahha
Same
Ya
Um...who's Ravi?
Please never take this down. The words of your grandmother give me hope.
This was a great representation of life and depression and how it can feel like your drowning in the ocean I love the animation edits everything I once felt this way a lot so having someone reach out to showing what I’m actually going through and NOT just me was really touching thank you 🙏
I'm glad you are still here, Anna. Thank you for changing so many lives with your words and ideas.
Exactly. thank god.
Ok
I just want a hug or someone to tell me “it’ll be ok”
Gummy_bears1262
I wish I could hug you and make everything better! 💜 You are strong and amazing, and things will get better. I don't know what you're going through, but change is one guarantee in life, you can get through this. For what it's worth, I'm here if you ever want to talk or rant or anything. I'm rooting for you!
Gummy_bears1262
I can't see that emoji, but I hope you're okay.
Jasmine you’re so nice
Gummy_bears1262
Aw, thanks. I'm just trying to help if I can.
Don’t we all
This was so beautiful. I cried my eyes out. I've struggled with mental illness since I was a teenager and we're the same age. Th last four years I have worked so hard om myself and my mental health. I found your channel a few weeks ago and I love your content. I appreciate how open and vulnerable you are in your channel and is beautiful. Thank you.
There is a different between not wanting to live and not wanting to live like this anymore
Anna, I'm glad you're sticking it out.
I know I'm just kinda a faceless guy on the internet, but I'm still rooting for you. You won't be alone.
And whoever reads this, I'm rooting for you, too. No matter how hard it feels, you have someone on your side.
Live.
... I made it through this whole video without crying and well then i read your comment-
Nicholas Feeley OMG YOUR SLENDERMAN!?! Sorry I just had to 😂😂
You are an amazing person. Thank God for people like you.
Thank you
The Faceless Ones are NEVER ALONE.
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW THATS RAVI FROM JESSIE
I am! I was looking for a confirming comment lol
LMAOAO FR
i couldn’t even tell til the last breakup scene
Thank you Anna for making this. I rewatch this everytime I’m feeling down. 🙏🏼
Wow a really epic piece of art! So thankful that creators show us such vulnerable sides of them. So much courage! thanks for giving hope!
Honestly, it feels really strange to me when I'm not thinking of suicide. Without this thought, I feel somehow empty.
Is that...good? Does that mean you felt fulfilled thinking of suicide? I-I'm really confused.
@@vay5540 No, it doesn't satisfy me at all. But without these suicidal thoughts, I have the feeling not to be me. It feels wrong and alien to not have to think about suicide. It feels like my thoughts have been exchanged with someone else's. Could be a dependency of this feeling, I don't know.
Sometimes mental illness can take up so much space in our minds and souls that we feel it is a part of us and it can feel weirdly empty once its not there anymore. You are not alone in feeling that way. I suggest trying different things and hobbies to try to figure out who you are and redefine yourself so that feeling of emptiness can be less present.
It’s because you feel comfortable with the options. There are multiple options in life we have to choose and it’s for some reason comforting to know that we can make it all stop at anytime but we still choose to fight it out of curiosity of the world. Without those options we would feel empty.
it does not have to be like that and it can not be like that!God bless you and your life🙏❤.
My dad killed himself almost 4 years ago, I never understood... But now I do, I think that I also have mental issues😔
I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through but be strong for you’re mother and siblings
Mia Hoi your not alone 🇷🇺
the pain you feel right now, is the pain others will deal with if you die...you're not alone
Do you wanna talk?
Thnx guys❤️❤️❤️
this. this was so beautiful. I was downright sobbing for a couple minutes there. You are so talented.
Came back here every time i need to remind myself to not rush. I hope everyone who’s reading this will remember that there’s so many good things waiting ahead of you. Let’s stay
“When it comes to death, why rush. We all get there sooner or later. The only thing guarantee when we’re born are death and change. Why not wait for the next wave of change? What if I stayed? What beautiful things could be waiting for me? I can die anytime. What’s the rush”
I just want the pain to be over.
Why live if you die?
@@emmacarignan but what if nobody could ever love you because everyone who ever did left
GeT CrEaTiVe because it's the little things in life that make life worth living, even if we all die in the end.
Maybe the pain is worth it, if it means waiting for something fantastic and worth living for in the future. That’s what keeps me going.
@@jnm3523 what if you miss the greatest love you ever had because you left before you could find it?
I thought about suicide countless times but never did it cuz I knew I had people who loved me.
Please never give in to the thought of suicide.
I did too, that’s the reason I didn’t kill myself when I was 9. Suicide isn’t the good way out, it’s just the easiest
I never did it because I knew it would be painful physically.
Rasmatallia Solomon if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u
i felt that
So tired of feeling this.
My children deserve so much more than I'm able to give them.
I went through the same. Still not over. Everytime hope stops me.
You don't die for the bad days, you live for the good ones.
my friend Skye killed herself last summer by jumping out her bedroom window into the driveway. She was 13. AT the time I was in a very depressive state but after Skye died too soon I realized that I had to give it time for life to get better. And life's been hell and it just doesn't feel worth it but I've made it over a year since Skye died and I'm going to try to live for at least another year in hopes for things getting better. I'm going to stay alive for Skye (and coincidentally tomorrow, November 5, would've been her 15th birthday. Happy birthday pal, I miss you)
Awh
Don't wait for life to get better, make it better. Life might not be hell but your mindset is, so your mind needs the change. If it's hard for you to get motivated, let a professional motivate you to motivate yourself. Or get into self help, there's a lot of videos or forums or books about self help. Important is to make little steps and one day you'll wonder how far you've come and how beautiful life can be if you want it to be beautiful.
sweet mems i'm on my period but this made me cry
There are so many things to stay alive for, be there to see them. I hope you get better soon. ❤️
sweet mems This made me cry.
Stay strong❤
Love your work. I lost my brother to suicide 4 yrs ago I miss him so much.
this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
“You know you can die at anytime... but what’s the rush?” That hit hard. Sometimes you just need here something so simple, yet so honest for things to click and make sense. I can’t say that it would keep me from feeling/thinking the way I do sometimes, but it’s something I think I’ll be reminded of when I am in those moments. Thank you Anna, I love when you talk about this cause it’s real, you completely understand the feelings. They make me feel but they also encourage me to push through.
😥 I need to get this quote tattooed
DID THEY JUST HAND A DEAD ANIMAL CORPSE TO HER.
Best gift of the century
yeah its the owners responsibility to get the animal buried or cremated
yeah thats what happens in vets lol, my dad had to bury our cat himself when he died
Merry Christmas
Almighty Egglord NaNi tF?
Let me tell you guys something:
Staying alive, living to see another day? That's the single greatest thing you can do for yourself. There is so much more ahead of you that you don't even realize. Because I chose to stay alive and receive help, I got to meet so many more people. I got to gain more opportunities. I graduated college. I get to spend more time with my niece I totally adore and adores me back. I got to reconnect with people. I get to meet my nephew, who will be born in a few days from now. The most important thing I got though is that I got time. I got the time to see the wave of change from wanting to die to seeing how beautiful and bright things can be. I got to change and that's the beautiful thing about being a human. We get to grow and change. We have the time to stick around a little more and see what life could offer.
Okay but the production of this is amazing. It starts with such bright, pretty colors and relatively tame and juvenile problems that most teens experience (i.e. first heartbreak, the mean girl and her clique) but then the colors gradually get cooler and darker toned and the themes become more mature. It starts with the death of her dog, like this is the beginning of her downward spiral. This is the first season, when thing after thing just goes wrong like the deterioration of her relationship with her sister, her suicidal thoughts, and her entrance into drugs. This teen angst then carries into her early adult life and manifests into full blown misery. Her relationship with her mother falls apart, her first real heartbreak happens, and her isolation becomes more severe (she’s completely isolated herself from her friends and family at the New Year’s party). She feels alone and pessimistic about the world. She doesn’t see the beauty in it anymore. She doesn’t see a way out or a silver lining. She’s approaching rock bottom. But then, quite literally, she sees the light at the end of the tunnel. I can almost say that it’s a “you only find something when you stop looking” kind of thing. Throughout the film she seemed to be chasing the perfect life. The perfect boyfriend. The dream job that only wounded her further. Meaning to her life. But by the end, after she echos her grandmother’s brilliant advice (“you can go anytime. What’s the rush?”), she is finding her peace. The love of her life just sort of pops up. She begins to repair her broken relationships. She’s no longer isolating herself. Her entire perspective on life and the world has changed. This is shown through the parallels (another New Year’s party, cutting strawberries) This is a very underrated and brilliant film. I come back to it every now and then whenever I don’t see the point and feel like I’m stuck in this season of my life.
This is what my depression feels like. All day. Everyday. I hardly feel it anymore. I tell myself every time that I am useful. I am important. But it’s bad.
QueenMoonElle you are useful and important and most of all you are loved!
My mother hates me and yells at me for every little thing I do and says that she’ll give me away. My older sister hates me and doesn’t talk to me. My best friend left me because someone talk me up to her.
I only trust my dog at this point - he has never hurt me
You are not alone💕
crybaby _24 thanks to my dog
Well dogs are incredible friends.. they are better than humans but we all love you... and even your mother will realise that she loves you but some things takes time. We all love you💕
Grilled Cheese 💙
i don’t think she hates u she probably have been going thro bad things when she was little and she’s probably being hard on u my mom has been thro some things in her childhood that made her be who she is
i needed this right now. thank you
omgggt i cant believe i found this after 2 years. I just wanna say that this has totally changed my perspective on wanting to die. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS. ur so brave and strong for moving forward and pushing through when all u wanted to do was give up. I hope my wave of change ( for the better i hope lol) comes sooner. P.S. I love ur videos and they help me understand so many things better. ur doing great. And you're inspiring so many thru what you do. Love you❤️