If it were the men who had periods you can bet they would be celebrating that time of the month and proudly declaring how special they are compared to the women!
The two weeks after starting your period is CREEPY. That takes you to the date youre likely ovulating so it’s like they secretly made it so every MUST have sex at that time.
What her husband did in not taking her to the hospital during her miscarriage is 100% against Jewish law. You are allowed to break any law to save a life. Many orthodox communities even have volunteer ambulance services and you will see the people on call in synagogue on the sabbath with their walkie talkies. However, I do believe that in these extreme communities its such a fishbowl and theres such a sense of trying to outdo others with how pious you are that many might hesitate in these kinds of situations.
Thank you for saying this. I’ve definitely heard that before even though I’m not Jewish. I have a feeling her husband’s lack of loving investment in her as a person was the real reason. His loss, tho, cuz Beatrice seems like an amazing person.
This is ancient history, I'm 80 now, but stuck in my brain & heart is a sadness from high school. My best friend was a Jew and the brightest girl in our class. She'd been accepted to the best colleges but was told to go to one beneath her brilliance because she was only going to marry and have children but no career. This was shocking to our entire class that was sad and befuddled. She was admired by the entire class and we just knew she would accomplish great things. Finally, she was not permitted to even attend graduation. Julia if you're out there, we haven't forgotten!
@sarah2.017 in general that doesn't matter. i grew up hasidic. the women who didn't marry live with their parents until they die and then live with their siblings (usually only saw happen with profoundly disabled people) and if the husband became disabled then the family would move in with their parents or another family member or friend.
I remember my father paying for my brothers to go to college but not me. I was going to get married and have children. Why did I bother to get straight A’s?
THANKS SO MUCH!!! I'm a 72 yo survivor of a high control religion in the 50s and 60s. Broke free at 18 when I got married. It was the only way i was allowed to leave my natal home. The 70s allowed me to explore other POV s and societies. You're doing an invaluable service to people who sometimes don't even know they need your help. Education is EVERYTHING!!!!
I'm really glad that i discovered this channel. I was ultra Orthodox Jewish until my late 40s! I was also a practicing rabbi. In watching the interviews here, i can relate to all the interviewees. Each group controls their adherents through identical or at least similar tactics. It helps me feel less alone and more empowered when i watch people from such diverse backgrounds, all sharing the same elements of mind control. But i especially resonated with Beatrice's story as i have a similar back story with my journey of breaking free of the Orthodox hassidic religion of my youth and how i finally managed in my late 40s to leave it all behind. I know it's tough to leave that late but you, Beatrice, have managed to and i commend you for having the strength to follow through and to save at least some of your children! I'm looking forward to part 2!
@sarah2.017 In certain aspects, I do. Though, it's increasingly more cultural than anything. It is similar to how an Italian American might still consider themselves to be Italian.
Same. Even now since my brother died they still try to convince me to return. I believe in soul trap theory so for me religion is all just a guilt trip to trick me to reincarnate constantly
New to the channel - I really love how the interviewer just lets Beatrice talk and tell her stories. All the late night hosts could take lessons from how good she is. Doesn't interrupt, just listens. Well done.
She always let's people share their stories. It makes their conversations so interesting because she actually listens before talking. A lot of people in this business could learn from her.
Thank you for sharing your story… I resonate with so much of what you have experienced. My own siblings kidnapped my daughter when I left my abusive ex-husband and the hasidic community. I had to fight my own family and ex husband to get her back. The pain is unbearable. This isn’t a one off story. This is the story of so many women who escaped from the Hasidic community. I too wanted to leave my marriage. Not the community. But ended up having to leave the community. The way I was treated was horrific. My kids went through hell. Almost 10 years later and my life is on track. I try not to let this affect my life even though it is what made me the woman I am today. I’m in London and this is a worldwide tragedy that happens to so many of us. It’s not just mothers. It’s fathers too. Thank you for being an avenue for survivors of cults and closed communities to speak out.
@@dfreeman13 If one person learns they’re not alone, it helps. The more we listen the sooner we get to a time where we don’t have to. If that makes sense.
I would think that her father would have started to question the character of her ex husband. Not his moral character but his lack of character that would allow his wife's father to ensure that his wife and children are fed and clothed. The marriage agreement was for a house and 5 years of support but it sounds like it went on much longer..and then to have the audacity to not even use the money he was given to buy his children shoes but have no qualms about spending it on himself. I don't know how her father could continue to respect him because of his inability or maybe even lack of drive to contribute to the well being of his family. I guess you don't think much about having 10 kids when you don't have to worry about making the money to feed, clothes, and educate them.
Historically, I believe these rules were put in place to protect women from needing to provide sex for their husbands at vulnerable times (it's similar around childbirth as well). I completely agree that they are degrading and it's incredibly harmful to teach women (and men) that periods are dirty. I just thought the context of the rules (which are sad for yet more reasons) may be interesting
I think the same, it is so degrading to say we are impure when we have our periods, when really, they are a part of the cycle that allows us to give life!!! I am so sad that girls and women live thinking that they are dirty during their periods 😢
So the Rabi is an expert in periods? You need an outside authority to determine if the blood has stopped, and a male authority for that matter... 🤷🤔 That's absolutely crazy and creepy and degrading of course.
Could you imagine being a woman or teen girl with a bleeding disorder??? There was a period in my life that I bled every single day for over ten months. There were also times I went extended periods of time without. I grew up in fundie/purity culture and it would have been so humiliating for the world, or even my own family, to know what I was going through. Don't even get me started on the state of women's health care, or lack there of
In Islam we have special status during menstruation, too. However, a period if you have a bleeding disorder, has a max of 8 days. Then bath and resume normal life.
How could any family turn their back on their daughter in such a cold and cruel manner,is something I will never understand.This woman is incredibly brave for taking such an incredible leap of faith in her own ability to leave such a controlling environment.
So many groups do it, too, the Amish being another. Some stricter Evangelical groups will cut their children off. It's like they're dead. So hard to understand.
Look..... what makes you special is the environment you grew up in. Look how watched over you were. In todays modern secular world no one cares what you eat etc. Look at how holy your family was. You were fortunate.
There’s something so powerful about you Beatrice. You are someone who has been to hell and back, you not only survived, you thrived. Unbreakable, graceful, kindness embodied. Thank you for being you, you’re an inspiration
Oh, well said. I was fascinated listening to her and can't wait to watch part 2. (Reminds me also of the book 'Unorthodox'.) On a lighter note, how on earth could Beatrice keep that beautiful hair hidden for 20 years!? Everything she is now, is what came out of who she had to be and I'm thrilled for her that she found herself.
If a religion proscribes a morning prayer to thank God for not being born a woman, you should know that the same man will feel entitled to treat women as lesser beings.
You don't understand that blessing at all, it is acknowledging that men have more commandments than women as women have a different role in life and are therefore created closer to perfection than men and we are therefore thanking G-d "anyway' for our role, orthodox jews hold their wives on a pedestal and have super respect for them.
@menachemfeuer4395 Why then are they thanking God that they have more rules and are less "perfect" than women? Your logic in your response is lacking.
I cannot imagine growing up in a society that subjugates women to such a degree. Congratulations for getting out and thank you for sharing your story. I grew up in a section of the country where the few Jewish people who were there were either non observant or attended a very progressive temple. I didn’t even learn about Hasidic Judaism until I was a young adult. My first thought was, “Wow, they must be so blessed living such righteous lives.” How wrong I was. Extremism in any faith tends to be abusive, it would seem.
Don't ascribe this to all Chassidim. Trust me on this. Women, in general, run the Jewish World, even amongst most Chassidim. It may not seem like it on the surface at times, but we (men) have to work harder at being good Jews just to be worthy of the women in our lives. I am also going to try to find time to dig in on this former Rebbetzin. In another video, she ascribed actions to the community that were blatantly WRONG. Now this video, I still see things that I am not sure that I really believe. However, I do know that there are some idiots out there (I personally try to help with those who refuse to provide Getts to their former spouses), so it is possible that most of what she says is true and she either misspoke or is embellishing to try to gain more sympathy.
I grew up chassidic and left in my 30s. I can't say I ever felt women were specifically subjugated. It's an extreme rule based society. The men r just as controlled as the women.. my arranged marraige was hell for me. But let's not blame it on misogyny
@@artofmybody2882 don't you think there are good and bad marriages everywhere? And don't you think there are happy chassidim, who don't feel controlled?
I remember a big “scandal” in Montreal. There was a gym, close to an Hasidic community. They asked the gym owner to cover the windows so the Hasidic men could not see the women working out… It did not fly! Boy did that create a controversy!
I remember that 😂 i was still part of the community and i think i was still living in Boisbriand, but the news was so “outrageous” that even in that little community they were worried about the implications of this gym in Montreal in the Hasidic area - that was refusing to cover their windows 🙈
That’s pretty comical considering a LOT of those men they’re worried about have IG, Snap, Fetlife (which specifically has Frum hookup groups) etc accounts in secret trying to hookup & do plenty of “looking”. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
You are not trapped, unless you are in an unhealthy relationship. Following the doctrines of Jewish law, doesn't make a woman be treated like dirt, on the contrary, Jewish women enjoy a special status.
I'm a librarian in Antwerp, Belgium - where there is one of those Hassidic/ultra Orthodox (I'm sorry I don't know the difference) enclaves Beatrice talks about. It makes me sl happy when young girls come in to borrow and read books. At least this way they can get a glimpse of the outside world.
I wonder how many little Muslim girls come in to read books... yeah I'm sure your biggest worry for your country and especially for your city is the few Jews😂
@anniemoultray3437 yes so it was his wife's job as a principal that supported them and his philanthropic offerings. However her Dad may have been a translator or cantor or paid for some other service to the community
The more of these stories that come out, the more people can see the patriarchy doesn’t work and spiritual manipulation is real and everywhere! Thank you so much for sharing 🖤🖤
It would happen too if women were in charge. It'a not about patriarchy or matriarchy, it's about the abuse of power. You should research about women in other cultures who sometimes keep their daughters on a shorter leash than the men, defending their horrible traditions, thinking: if it was good enough for me, it is good enough for you. And how many women have abortions or neglect their children? We won't suddenly have world peace, if women are in charge. Just look at Hitlery Clinton. It's sinful, human behaviour.
He not only wasn't a good husband, he wasn't even a good Jew. Has he never heard of פיקוח נפש?? He absolutely should have gotten you medical help. What an awful human being. Who looks at anyone needing medical help and do nothing, let alone their spouse??
you cant problem solve when you have cognitive and emotional overload; "keeping sweet" equates survival. I am always so impressed with the strength, determination, resiliency and sheer power of the individuals on your show
The host is like a therapist. She listens, validates, and asks important questions. Plus she doesn’t interrupt. She’s awesome. What a great video. Beatrice is a brave strong woman. I hope she is happy and living a good life.
So much this!! I grew up going to catholic school and the varied practices between families were pretty astounding. Even within a smaller community some of the girls weren’t allowed to be friends with me (since I was Protestant, which isn’t the right flavour of Christian)
I grew up in IBLP. I struggle with I still have a belief that God is with me. However, I can't accept organized religion. I went to Easter service with my mother, and all I thought was are they being abused when I looked at the children. I looked at the women, and I felt pitty. Then I was thinking I'm so sorry God that I am having these negative feelings. It's been a struggle.
@missamanda2703 I can really empathise with this. I've always believed in God (grew up Christian, but in a pretty liberal community), and to be honest, I've never really found any organised religion that aligns with my core beliefs and principles. The final straw for me was when my daughter died and I was told "God has a plan" by several people of different faiths/backgrounds. That solidified my belief that I wouldn't ever be able to align myself with a particular religion, because I don't believe God chose for my perfectly healthy child to die. I've never understood the notion that God "plans" horrific things to happen to us all.
@@missamanda2703Jesus came and dismantled institutional organized religion/legalism. Stick to the word of God, read your Bible. You don’t need a church building, a “pastor”, “authority” over you. We are held accountable to the Lord God almighty. Pray and ask Him all your questions and read read read His word ✨🩷✨
yep, same here, I grew up Jewish. Got into fundamentalist Christianity as an adult. Just as with any religion, it's always the extremes in Judaism. Most of these horror stories are coming from the very insular groups.
It is not really as bad as it sounds. Being an empowered woman doesn’t mean to show the most skin, being an empowered woman is to choose when I want to show and to whom. I love modesty as a Jewish Woman
@@rayzelpion8825 The concern here is that 3 yo’s are expected to be all covered up because the implication is that men would find them tempting. It’s not at all a concern about women having their own clothing standards.
As a mother, I simply cannot imagine raising my children with fear in their hearts, especially fear of disobeing, fear of "being a bad kid", fear of disappointing your family. That flies in the face of the *unconditionnal* love and support every child needs in order to build secure attachments, a strong sense of self and self confidence. My heart breaks for all the children, in whatever circumstances, who grow up without true unconditionnal love and affection. Thank you for sharing your story, Béatrice.
Thank you for an interview that was handled with such sensitivity. Beatrice is such a thoughtful, articulate, strong woman. The fact that she left all she had known, regardless of how frightening it must have been, took such strength and courage. She is magnificent.
Still watching and wont ever stop. Keep spreading the truth and providing a platform for the voiceless to share their truths. The community is expanding. They can't hide under their rocks forever!
I grew up hassidic . I was so excited to see this new upload. Beatrice, thank you for sharing. You're very brave. Cults to consciousness is my favorite youtube channel
Such burdens to bear ... thank you for sharing. My Christian daughter converted to Orthodox Judaism and is kosher. She says that if I buy Matzos for Passover, I defile the Jewish shop because I am "an idolator who worships the man Yeshua." My mother put her teacup in my daughter's non-dairy kitchen sink and the cup had to be broken. These rules of men don't earn salvation and I don't believe G-d is pleased by them, when they create difficulty, division and false guilt.
You are SUCH a beautiful, highly intelligent, STRONG woman - your light shines so brightly and I am so glad you survived the urge to end things in your darkest hour. You are the kind of person I would love to just get a coffee with and talk and talk and talk! Peace to you and much, much joy because you deserve it and you always did.
Beatrice, thank you for sharing your story and for your advocacy for those that are helpless in this cult. Shelise, you are one of the best interviewers I’ve ever seen. The way you ask questions that focus solely on the guest’s story and then give them TIME to answer in their own manner. You honour every single guest that you have on.
It's very disturbing that the more strict modest dress for girls and segregation of the sexes would start at 3. This implies that a 3 year old needs to be modest bc there is something sexual about them.
Interesting, in Islam it is as early as 9 years old but schools initiate it from 6 years old. Imagine objectifying kids into sexual objects even before they realise what does being a girl or a boy mean!! Pathetic how religious institutions control us in the name of God.
@@helyns1416 haha what that's crazy, I thought it might be about their belief that the hymen grows back until they are 3. I can't remember exactly how it's worded but all the religious text are online now, and you can read them yourselves. Essentially it says that a girl can not lose her virginity from birth to 3 years old, because her hymen will grow back.... so creepy
I am Jewish and whilst my grandparents were raised in the Orthodox tradition growing up in Hungary, they later became less religious after arriving in Australia. I cannot imagine being Frum ( ultra religious). I don’t think I would cope, even though I believe In G-d and celebrate all the holidays.
I was a "Gentile" who married a Jewish boy from the Nth Beaches Sydney, his family wasn't Orthodox but some of the rules were hard for me to live with. However his Aunty and cousins were full on Orthodox and they left this little Presbyterian mind boggling. I couldn't live like that.
Though I'm not Jewish by race, I practice Judaism as a belief. I do not feel a need to convert, but I love the closeness with G-d that I never had in Christianity. So, I am not familiar with all the different "sects" of Judaism per se, but just simply enjoy worshipping Him the way Tanakh says, too. I find the Talmud interesting, but I do not follow it for how I worship.
@littleredpixie3116 come on into the Jewish world! It's so much richer than anything Christian. My husband and I wish we had left that world long before we did!
When she said “there’s nothing more powerful than a woman getting a job and going to college” 🥹 I’ve been a stay at home mom for 20 years and I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship. I’m 38 and I start my first classes at the end of this month. I’ve gone through so much heartache and personal growth over the last few years. Those words were powerful to me and although I didn’t come from a controlling religion I relate with a lot of what Beatrice is saying.
That’s amazing! I went to school in my 30’s and it was perfect timing for me, I was finally in a good place to focus on my own schooling. Good luck, you’ve got this! 💙
Outsiders are afraid to criticize the Jewish community and help to protect the victims because the labels of antisemitism. I’m sorry you were so isolated and was years before you found your place in the world and that peace.
Criticizing the entire Jewish community as a whole IS antisemitic. This lady grew up in an extremist cult. Most jews don't live this way as you know and do criticize these extremists. I agree though that ppl should continue to criticize cults like this.
Exactly! Just look at the war crimes of today. I’m not opening a discussion. But if any western country would commit these acts Israel commits right now. It would be crazy out cry. I’m not even talking about a 3 world country.
@@ritawing1064see I have an issue with people likening unconsenting male circumcision to in any way as bad as female genital mutilation. Which is what saying make genital mutilation implies. FGM is literally removing entire part of anatomy purely for men's pleasure and purity culture. There is no circumstance that a doctor would perform FGM for a medical reason. It's perfectly reasonable to say it is not ethically wrong to perform male circumcision on an infant but you can do that using different language that doesn't downplay FGM. Because there are some circumstances a urologist would recommend circumcision for medical reasons which was why it started to be done routinely. Now we know it's not necessary. So use non- consensual elective. People who do this clearly have never met a woman who has been through FGM it's disgusting you are trying to compare them its like comparing assault to murder
@farhana6913 I know what you mean and of course FGM is far worse than infant circumcision (although the traditional form has caused fatalities), but it's important to acknowledge the lack of consent and the actual mutilation, not least because, as Brian Earp's research found, rabid proponents of infant male circumcision will try to justify it by comparison with the less extreme forms of female genital mutilation. No one should be messing unnecessarily with children's anatomy, not fgm, not ear piercing, not circumcision, nothing! Concentrating on the degree of harm will not get to the root of it all - though of course the most strenuous efforts should be made to do away with the most egregious offences - fgm.
Thanks for having more ex orthodox jewish ppl on the show. I grew up in an orthodox community (though not chassidish) and what she said about the ritual baths is so real. It was always so uncomfortable and dehumanizing to me. But when I talked to my other married friends, they always viewed it as a beautiful spa-like ritual. And they viewed it as healthy for the marriage. In fact that jewish ppl had more healthy marriages because of this ritual time apart (absence make the heart grow fonder and all that). And i could never wrap my head around how they were having such a drastically different experience than me. It made me feel like i was only valuable for my reproductive abilities.
The ritual baths are the most amazing spiritual experience.. you cleans within rain pure water, and it is a very spiritual experience... you are all not being honest and missing the deeper meaning to all these laws which are beautiful.
I LOVE going to the mikvah! It's a beautiful, refreshing experience. It's time to do self-care and take my time. Reconnecting with my husband is like a wedding night, each month. It's respectful and wonderful. I have never experienced anything other than the utmost respect from the mikvah ladies who assist at the mikvah.
I'm so excited for episode 2! This one was excellent (as usual), and I look forward to hearing Beatrice talking about how she left and her life after leaving. ❤
I worked in an "extreme" Kosher food facility and I can tell you, the rules are no joke. We would have entire shipments of lettuce/herbs rejected because a rabbi found one or two MICROSCOPIC mites in it... Was depressing honestly as the producer of that food but that's what my honestly irresponsible bosses (who were Jewish but definitely not orthodox) deserved for promising them that we could produce insect-free produce without washing
No one should have access to those baths when another man/child is using them. Those men who knew about the abuse and did NOTHING should be behind bars too!!!
Wow, had no idea that the brides family were responsible for supporting the new marriage financially for 5 YEARS!!!! So orthodox men do not work to support the family, and not only does she have to bear 10-15 children under impossible rules and regulations, but the male head of the household virtually does nothing financially to support that huge family? Living like a slave, living off her parents and stipends so that he could “study”, demeaned by a passive aggressive male……no wonder they isolate so that they can keep a medieval patriarchal society going.
I watch Jewish women, orthodox and Hasidic, on Tik Tok justify and minimize the extremism of the ways that they are treated and I had to stop. It disturbs me to see how they are controlled and manipulated in the name of god.
@@wiki-ex4tqAlmost all hassisim are askkenazim. Ashkenaz designate the eastern European jews whilst sefaradim designates the jews from maghreb, middle east who originated from the iberic peninsula.
What i learned listening to your videos is that the difference between boys and girls, modesty and sex is the same in all the cults, only the ages it begins are different. My opinion is that these rules makes abuse much more happening because the twisted way the cults look at the body. Such a shame.
Very true. And take note: what she said was that at 12&13 the kids are considered “adults” regarding religious laws - however the sexualization starts a lot earlier! For Hasidic girls it’s at age 3 and boys age 7 Here’s my husband sharing - on Cults to Consciousness - some of the challenges he faced growing up a Hasidic boy czcams.com/video/MLyBzMFbJdM/video.htmlsi=BigtOxqIzc417kYM
I live in Israel and for 6 months I worked in the city of Bnei Brak that it is a very religious place, there are no coffee shops to sit in the main streets-not allowed, the place is so filthy with wraps of snacks, mountains of snack wraps between the buildings, the women are just plain exhausted there-tons of children and they are the bread winners of the family, very small children walking alone in the main streets without supervision like the 5 yers old taking care of the 3 year olds..., tons of mental disable children with down syndrome beyond statistics, many stores vandalized by extremists as for example shops that sell "non kosher" cell phones (that are not restricted), threatening posters on the streets to warn women that do not wear humble clothes and the consequences ,the bus is always full of children with filthy diapers and it smells awful, they thrive on gossip and men who work with you and talk to you at the office will totally ignore you in the street because they afraid what others will say, and all this is nonsense in relation of what REALLY happens there, it was a very unpleasant experience.
And still people believe the war crimes they commit are fairytales very sad. I think the women are the key to stopping the violence cause they clearly are suffering too…
This comment engages in classic anti-Semitic stereotypes, though that might not have been the intention. Try to step back and think about what you write.
@@David99356 This is the tactic that tries to silence any critical comment by invoking "stereotype" or "trope." Someone saying they saw snack wrappers in Bnei Brak -- Whoa! that's the classic stereotype about Jews and snack wrappers! And on it goes, gagging humanitarians who criticize |DF violence (that's the medieval "blood libel" myth!); silencing democrats who criticize AIPAC donations (that's the Shylock money-lender trope!). Actual anti-Jewish stereotypes do crop up in public culture, but not all critical observations are "anti-semitic."
Beatrice you are so strong and sharing your story is priceless! I’m so jealous of your beautiful hair and I can’t believe you shaved your hair for 20 years. I’m so happy that after 20 years of not letting your hair grow you have the blessing of such beautiful curls. You look so healthy and happy, your skin glows. I hope you are able to enjoy each day and that your children understand you always did the best in being their mother at every stage of life you were in. Do good, when you know better, do better. That seems like what you have done.
This is a misconception. Kosher food does not get blessed. The inspections are to make sure that the various ritual laws are being followed. While the person doing the inspection is often a rabbi it doesn't have to be. It just needs to be a person who has been well trained in the laws of kosher.
@@sianmilne4879that's fair. I think I just wanted to make the distinction that any prayers said are not what makes the food kosher per se. Kosher is what I like to call a sort of religious pseudoscience where foods have certain statuses due to a variety of rules and factors. So a kosher certification means that the food has been monitored essentially from farm to table to make sure no rules were broken.
Your husband was not a good Jew. Life is the exception to Shabbat. Protection of life takes precedence over EVERYTHING. I’m so sorry for what you went through.
But it’s good to control women by allowing man to control their body with roles about every single part of women purity and how we dress and what we eat all are the most basic human rights and you have no freedoms and man has the power of choice which food is כשר or what is צנוע לבנות or what is ok במחזור or it you allow to get גט as women form orthodox community not חסדים או חרדים but extremely religious I left the community but married a man who was sociopathic violence and abuse in every aspect and control in every part of life and I was normal because it’s what I know growing up as a child and in the community it all makes the most impact growing up in this community as a woman you’re only role is being good and do what you told a good girl and good women and wife I don’t know how I survive I still don’t feel free form my ex husband or from the brainwash of the community I grew up in it better than before but it’s stragglers every day and it’s taking me re ejected myself first to get to escape from the nightmare I lived under so good it the first thing that they said about each person to get their way or how is good it not enough so i sick about feeling guilty or bad person just because I was speaking out good girl stay silent and stay married no matter what happens
What an incredible strength Beatrice has shown in breaking out of this mysegonistic sect! Thank you for sharing your story, teaching us the reality of this type of life. She looks happy, which gives hope and shows trauma can be overcome.
Love that you’re doing another video on Hassidic women & the dark side that can come living in that community. While there are plenty of women who identify as happy & fulfilled living a Hassidic life, & not all Hassidic me are abusive, there are many in that community suffering in silence. Great job as usual, Shelise!!!
Having grown up keeping kosher as a modern orthodox Jew, I have never heard anything like the Popsicle color rule and cannot think of a law that would relate to that issue. But I do know that some of these extremist sects will see taking on extra stringencies as a virtuous thing to do. I will also say that we were fine with all produce (just washed it first) and most kosher certifications. And if we messed up we didn't have to repent. We just stopped eating the thing if we realized halfway through that there was an issue and tried to do better next time. Also, there's a general concept that even if a child made a mistake it is not that serious and is ultimately the responsibility of the parents. The whole point of a bar or bat mitzvah is that the child has become old enough to keep all of the laws and be responsible for their own observance. I'm also disturbed that she was taught that only observant Jews go to heaven. Growing up we really were not heaven/hell focused much at all and there was never a question that non-Jews could also go to heaven. Just want to give some perspective at the diversity that exists even among observant Jews bc many ppl have such culture shock when they hear these extreme stories and they struggle to understand how any of these practices could exist within a more moderate and healthy framework. I'm not exactly orthodox anymore and I do have a bit of trauma/baggage around that but i do wany ppl to understand that it is possible to engage in this kind of lifestyle without it being full of terror and restriction and stringency. There is even an orthodox feminist movement which I was very involved with when I was younger and many of my friends are still doing great things to make the community more inclusive and just.
Toronto in the 70's and 80's did not have access to all the ou products and such. There were these popsicles available in those years that were not stamped with a hechsher. There were lots of stupid rumors about which food colors were kosher or not. Purple absolutely not - from grapes without supervision. Red absolutely not - from insects. These kinds of weird BS is what I grew up with in Toronto. She is telling 100% the truth. I was there and I lived a similar life though not chassidic like her.
Our religion ( Orthodox);is beautiful! Listening to this interview is an exaggeration of our. Orthodox life. Shes making everything sound so severe, but there is so much falsehood in this interview. Usually people who are suffering some other traumas, are the ones that rebel. We have a beautiful heritage and we don't feel stifled in any way. IT IS NOT A CULT.
@Faigyfeig in an open secular society (at least hopefully) individuals can pursue their own goals, happiness, etc... it shouldn't make everyone the same, vs what an insular, orthodox society does.
Oh my goodness What a treat! Beatrice has been my inspiration since 2019 when I was lucky to “meet” her in a program that we both took part in. She has taught me so much how to be gentle with myself (back when she did group coaching) and has been a role model to me how not to give up hope and stay strong no matter the challenges that life throws at you. I have so much more to say about this marvellous woman and incredible soul that she is, but I’m pressed for time ATM, so for now i will just add how delighted and grateful I am for this in depth piece, shared with so much grace! And boy am I looking forward to part 2 😍
Heck fucking yeah to going to college and getting a job as a woman. It was my way out of an abusive household as well. I am grateful. I know there are many paths to independance but this one works well for now.
I'm actually going down that path now, I'm hoping to receive chapter 35 benefits through my father. It's likely the only way I'll get to go, but this way I can have a life away from the people who hurt me.
I appreciate that this channel has been exploring more diversity in the religious groups and sects and sharing more stories from people outside of Christianity or “Christianity adjacent”. It makes it easier to see what the similarities and differences are and what the actual core problems are in these high control groups and a how they oppress and take advantage of people. Edited to make things more clear.
@@ghighiannemorrison4922 I mean a religion takes a lot of the same themes and maybe still worships Jesus or considers him an important figure, but doesn’t actually identify as a Christian sect. Not left as in political left or anything! I realize that could have been very unclear so I edited my original comment. I mean to the left as in “diverges from Christianity” or “Christianity adjacent” sort of like Mormonism or jehovahs witnesses etc
I once cat-sit for an orthodox (but not ultra-orthodox) couple in my apartment building. They let me know it was fine to hang out there and use their TV, etc while I was checking on their cat. I saw a book about the marriage rules around menstruation she is talking about and I pretty much read/skimmed the whole thing. It was fascinating to me. And it’s not a small pamphlet, it’s a whole big book. I learned all about the mikvah bath, the little white cloths, the not touching for that certain time period, etc.
It was interesting to hear your perspective on some of those rules because I have heard from women still practicing Orthodox Judaism that those rules are beautiful and actually bring the couple closer together. For me reading about it was interesting but it did seem like a lot to remember and a big burden placed specifically on women.
@@beatriceweber1I think in the Hasidic world where everything is so stringent that is probably true but in the regular orthodox community where I live I don’t think that is true, not saying it isn’t hard but it’s not something I say I like so I can survive but there are definitely parts to it I find very beautiful, maybe if everything wasn’t so extreme for you, you would also agree…. I’m very thankful I did not grow up that way and I was shown how beautiful Judaism can be….we definitely eat strawberries and broccoli and lettuce and multicolor popsicles lol
When your piety determines your salvation and status it’s natural that people will create new rules to puff themselves up in their eyes and the communities eyes to prove they are the most pious.
Might write more, but I wanted already to stop the video to thank Beatrice for the intake of air she took when talking about the shame over eating a yellow popsicle and getting her sisters one, then getting ratted out. I see you from our weird rules that for us constantly changed, with goal posts ever moving. Orange was my favorite, and we didn't often get one. How devastating to children to be allowed one AND get money, then the stupid flavor isn't there, the parentified child seeing their own sense of loss reflected on the face of babier sisters. You did the in charge, bestest of sisters thing. The right thing. I'm so sorry, because this experience is just one stich in a motif that will play along the tapestry of a whole childhood, young adulthood and then spark pain as an adult. That one gesture says it all about the pain of living under the intense rules that coercive control is established upon. All the tears. All of them. Air sucked in to feed a central nervous system that already had reasons to dysregulate brought in by inevitable inter-generational changes to DNA. One central nervous system to hold it all. I can imagine a group of people who have extra legit reasons to draw together for safety, reasons that only go back a few decades (still piled on top of the preceding struggles, never forget that). legit sources for the compulsions behind extra rules, drawing them in. My grandfather came home from WW2 with gingivitis and OCD. My grandmother came back from being evacuated from the London bombings with no understanding of nurturing and a sharp, sadistic streak. This all seeps down generations, changing our DNA, impacting stress and trauma response. I'm not comparing my grandparents to anyone else, but I am interested in what even the milder by contrast experiences do to families and I guess, now, probably religious groups. I've long held the belief that these PTSD's (so many kinds and I know we are going to have that understanding soon, not just single event, not just compound, but developmental and so, so, so much more) come in through colonialism, racial hatred, through war. I'm sorry. I see the child inside people because my own family mayhem resulted in me ending up a multiple, living with DID. A lot of us fragment, a lot don't, but there is usually one child left inside us, at least. I want yours to have one of those multicoloured, huge popsicles, sisters too, and hugs. For you all to make a sticky mess and feel loved and free.
Great guest! Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I always feel like I get a lot of insight, but can also relate with what happens in any group when they become insular to the degree that they are a law unto themselves and “deal” with things internally, which leaves it up to non-objectivity, and/or no justice in many matters or situations within that group.
I am a staunch atheist, I grew up evangelical non denominational, but I was called secular as a pajorative for being too poor to afford private christian school. I had store bought clothes instead of home made dresses etc. I broke away at 16 and moved from KS to NY on my own just to breathe. I feel you lady, if suppressed enough the human psychological state must change in order to cope with reality...or sadly religion takes over and eats itself. Imo.
Thank you S. Your interview style is the best of any ex-mo I’ve watched. (Of the many) delightful not to have a former “priesthood” head call the interview shots and over speak the guest with a still subservient wife at his side speaking when he allows. Beatrice is a gem. Found her website and offerings valuable. (author In Polygamy’s Shadow)
I'm in my early 60s and the more stories I hear the more aware I am of the abuse I survived. Before I blamed myself as being inadequate. Thank you for waking me up.
Wow! This breaks my heart reading about you feeling inadequate, not knowing the problem was with the system and not you 💔 Very relatable. I felt inadequate/incompetent/broken as well when i was growing up in the Hasidic community, never being able to be “good enough” to meet so many unrealistic expectations
Beatrice is so inspirational. I'm so sorry to hear of everything she has gone through, but I am so grateful that you are sharing. I am going through a tough time with work and family (luckily nothing compared to the speakers on this channel). If people can go through stuff like this and come out ok, it makes me feel hopeful that I can get better. Thanks for all the work you guys do. It's so important
It's so wild to me that Frida Vizel has been working so hard on CZcams to normalize the Satmar and yet here is an eye opening view into what it's really like.
That's the thing with religious extremism. They take the basic laws and rules of the religion and push it so far past what it started as and obsess over every detail to make it the most stringent possible.
Thousands of years of diaspora where questions about Halacha were transmitted along trade routes to the few rabbis who were great distances apart. Add our penchant for arguing about everything and this is where you end up!
Wowww I was born & raised in Brooklyn and Williamsburg is definitely their community I’ll say I’m not at all shocked it’s super sad that women have no voice or rights and indeed it is a prison. I commend this woman for being so strong 💪 Blessings 🙏
I work in a Hasidic community near the northern part of BedStuy and yesterday I saw two young girls (no older than 12 or 13), each pushing a stroller and it made me sad. Like they should be playing, enjoying their summer, not caring for siblings. I mean, babysitting can be cool but I'm familiar with the dynamics.
@@lizzybeary I see it where I live in families with many children, some moms sort seem to give up once they have a certain number and the older girls (and sometimes boys too) do a lot of the child rearing. One child I know, I didn't recognize his mother until he was perhaps 3-4 but knew his sister from when he was a couple months old. She was always outside with him and even went with him to baby activities like baby song. I first even thought she was his mother but found out she was his sister when talking to her. I am glad to see that since there was no new baby after him that his mother did start being a bit more active in his life at about 3-4. He has a great relationship to his sister still but I think he should have had that with his mother too.
@@lizzybearybelieve me they’re enjoying their summer a lot more than kids who are glued to their devices. They love taking their little siblings out in matching clothes and showing them off. Save your pity for those who really need it.
I grew up in a Christian family, more strict than common I guess, but everything you say is entirely familiar to me, the clothes, the modesty, the restrictions on available roles, the separation from boys, the total absence of information or mention of anything to do with sex, ..it wasn’t written down, I don’t know how it was communicated, it was just the way it was. I went to university and in a lecture we were asked who there was an atheist and many raised their hands and I was terrified. I’d heard of that but I had never known to be in the same room as them. Times have changed for everyone.
It's no good conflating all religions like that. This channel features people who left extreme groups, but for the vast majority of modern Christians for example, religion is barely any more restrictive than the moral code any upstanding person would try to follow - and actually very liberating in many ways.
I’m so glad you’re doing another one video on Chasidism. Many of their rules and doctrines are even more absurd and disturbing than fundamentalist Christians. I was raised in Jewish Renewal, which the polar opposite type of Judaism, the most open, accepting, and progressive denomination. My congregation has a lesbian rabbi. I’m sure the Hasidic rebbes would call us apostates.
Like in any religion, it’s such a broad spectrum of interpretations and often the fanatics are dangerous and abusive… I’m a non denominational Christian and can’t understand strict dress codes, women can’t work, etc… I’ve accepted that my version of God is love and peace and to have respect for all… it’s so sad when people need to be so extreme 😢
The fun thing is, whether they like it or not, you're Jewish if you're born to a Jewish mother (or convert). There's no such thing as a Jewish person losing their Jewish status if they don't practice "correctly".
Yours is just an example of going from one extreme to another. Some Humans have trouble maintaining a normal and balanced.perspective of things. I did read a book that explains where some of these picky unie rules came from that really arent apart of judiasm. It was during the time when jews were separated from the rest of society locked behind gates where they were poor and treated like animals and to hang on to some kind of reality, the patriarchs made up all those little rules
As a licensed therapist x 20+ yrs, I always share a universal truth w/ my clients that is especially critical to those who are abuse survivors; shame can not remain in the light, as it operates & is fueled only in the dark. Shining light on our struggles & asking for help are the keys to a path of healing & growth. As one of my mentors, Dr. Brene Brown, once said, “You either walk inside your story & own it, or you stand outside your story & hustle for your worthiness.” It’s such a powerful statement & Beatrice is a shining example of doing just that. I’m beyond grateful & in awe of her choice to turn the light on & show that healing, growth, & thriving are possible when we stop living in the dark, alone w/ past secrets & shame. Fantastic interview & can’t wait to see part two!!!
@@ElisabeteSuzana - I couldn’t agree more & appreciate you adding that. Cultural &/or religious background is critical to being able to connect w/ & help clients.
Can't stop my brain from pulling images from "Unorthodox" to illustrate parts of the stories described ❤️ Thanks for sharing!! It's so important to lift the veil on lives different to your own❤️
As an orthodox jewish woman, I feel very sorry for what you went through, Beatrice. 😢 All the hurt, all the trauma... It should not be how religious Jews treat each other (yes, ben adam lamakom is important, but to the same extent we havr ben adam lechavero!!). Hope you find what you look for in life, le tova!! ❤
Religions that come from the Semitic tradition are all so extreme and hostile to women. When she told her story, I must admit that it almost seemed to me as if she was reporting on Islam.
@@melissamargolese8782 yes, I am well aware of that. As a Turk who is not a Muslim, I have found many parallels between Muslims, Jews and Christians, especially when they are extremely religious, but in all three traditions women are unfortunately always very disadvantaged, which makes me, as a father of a daughter, think a lot In Islam it is actually exactly as the lady in the video describes: girls at 12, or let's put it this way when puberty begins, are viewed as women, which is utter nonsense. For example, inheritance law is totally to the disadvantage of women, divorce law, etc. Thats a totally no go for me and not unacceptable for me
Islam only segregate adult women from men. Otherwise, sensible Muslims are not that strict. Inheritance, women get less compared to their brothers but men are supposed to provide if women don't work and they get a share from their parents and husbands. In most of the households women have a very strong presence in decision making - there are exceptions but not part of religion.
@@denizbghbghdeniz-vg1bqI believe regular Muslim women in the U.S. and Canada are allowed to work and, if she's married, as long as she's caring for the kids she's allowed to do with her money whatever they please
😆 look up foodie beauty, she’s in Kuwait City… from Canada making a mockery of their religion I’m sure they’d ship her back to Canada where she’s running from taxes & multiple abortions & have arrested the Syrian male she’s with… it’s crazy 🫣👀
Beatrice, your story is inspirational. You are such an amazing person! I grew up in a little village in Poland, and my Catholic religion followed me to Chicago. I lived in the states for several years, and I still did not get any menstrual education. I thought I was literally dying from internal bleeding! I married in my religion, but I married an American. When I walked away from my religion, he was understanding. He keeps this secret from my mother till this day! We even moved 4 hours away from my many, many family members with lots of homes in the Chicago area. I hide from my family everything; my tattoos, my opinions, my feminism, and my political views. I did not want children, so I lied by saying I am infertile. I pick up every 8th -10th call my family makes to me. They do not like my husband for this…because how could a woman have her own opinion on things. 🤦🏻♀️
A few years ago I read an interview on Vice with rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg titled The Child-R*pe Assembly Line. What he said and what he experienced after revealing what he knew was so traumatizing to me, I can't get these stories out of my head. Also, how prevalent this type of a*use of small boys is!!!!
If it were the men who had periods you can bet they would be celebrating that time of the month and proudly declaring how special they are compared to the women!
Exactly. Males are the source of most evil.
The two weeks after starting your period is CREEPY. That takes you to the date youre likely ovulating so it’s like they secretly made it so every MUST have sex at that time.
Oh you know it!! I remind my sons quite a bit how much women have to go through, so they'll have an appreciation.
while i get your point, if my penis started bleeding, i would be in the ER
😂
What her husband did in not taking her to the hospital during her miscarriage is 100% against Jewish law. You are allowed to break any law to save a life. Many orthodox communities even have volunteer ambulance services and you will see the people on call in synagogue on the sabbath with their walkie talkies. However, I do believe that in these extreme communities its such a fishbowl and theres such a sense of trying to outdo others with how pious you are that many might hesitate in these kinds of situations.
Pious is not the right word, culty is more like it.
All religions are cults!!!
Thank you for saying this. I’ve definitely heard that before even though I’m not Jewish. I have a feeling her husband’s lack of loving investment in her as a person was the real reason. His loss, tho, cuz Beatrice seems like an amazing person.
@@muriel5826 When you thank g-d every day you weren't born female it messes you up.
Brainwashed cult.
Sounds like he was a narcissist who thought it was beneath him.
Red might be an “immodest” color, but it’s definitely your color Beatrice
I love wearing red!
@@beatriceweber1 yeees! The red lip + blazer combo is so classy
Right? ! I though so too.
@@beatriceweber1 And the red lip!
Sets off her beautiful, dark curls.
Fascinating that bad things happened because women weren't modest enough, but not because the men weren't pious enough.
This is ancient history, I'm 80 now, but stuck in my brain & heart is a sadness from high school. My best friend was a Jew and the brightest girl in our class.
She'd been accepted to the best colleges but was told to go to one beneath her brilliance because she was only going to marry and have children but no career.
This was shocking to our entire class that was sad and befuddled. She was admired by the entire class and we just knew she would accomplish great things.
Finally, she was not permitted to even attend graduation. Julia if you're out there, we haven't forgotten!
Sadly, this story is shared by millions of women your age, regardless of their religion.
People like this boggle my mind. What if, for whatever reason, she never got married, and what if she did and he died or became disabled?
@sarah2.017 in general that doesn't matter. i grew up hasidic. the women who didn't marry live with their parents until they die and then live with their siblings (usually only saw happen with profoundly disabled people) and if the husband became disabled then the family would move in with their parents or another family member or friend.
That is so sweet of you to mention her ❤🎉
I remember my father paying for my brothers to go to college but not me. I was going to get married and have children. Why did I bother to get straight A’s?
THANKS SO MUCH!!! I'm a 72 yo survivor of a high control religion in the 50s and 60s. Broke free at 18 when I got married. It was the only way i was allowed to leave my natal home. The 70s allowed me to explore other POV s and societies.
You're doing an invaluable service to people who sometimes don't even know they need your help.
Education is EVERYTHING!!!!
You should contact Shelise and go on the show!! We would all love to hear your story!
@@therestlessspiritvintage Fundies are fundies regardless of their headgear or lack there of.
I'm really glad that i discovered this channel. I was ultra Orthodox Jewish until my late 40s! I was also a practicing rabbi. In watching the interviews here, i can relate to all the interviewees. Each group controls their adherents through identical or at least similar tactics. It helps me feel less alone and more empowered when i watch people from such diverse backgrounds, all sharing the same elements of mind control. But i especially resonated with Beatrice's story as i have a similar back story with my journey of breaking free of the Orthodox hassidic religion of my youth and how i finally managed in my late 40s to leave it all behind. I know it's tough to leave that late but you, Beatrice, have managed to and i commend you for having the strength to follow through and to save at least some of your children! I'm looking forward to part 2!
Do you still consider yourself Jewish?
@sarah2.017 In certain aspects, I do. Though, it's increasingly more cultural than anything. It is similar to how an Italian American might still consider themselves to be Italian.
Same. Even now since my brother died they still try to convince me to return. I believe in soul trap theory so for me religion is all just a guilt trip to trick me to reincarnate constantly
I'd love to read about the cult leader behind the cult. He had ISSUES
I really recommend you follow “Mormon stories” he also covers really interesting testimonies from people leaving this high demand religion
New to the channel - I really love how the interviewer just lets Beatrice talk and tell her stories. All the late night hosts could take lessons from how good she is. Doesn't interrupt, just listens. Well done.
She always let's people share their stories. It makes their conversations so interesting because she actually listens before talking. A lot of people in this business could learn from her.
Thank you for sharing your story… I resonate with so much of what you have experienced. My own siblings kidnapped my daughter when I left my abusive ex-husband and the hasidic community. I had to fight my own family and ex husband to get her back. The pain is unbearable. This isn’t a one off story. This is the story of so many women who escaped from the Hasidic community. I too wanted to leave my marriage. Not the community. But ended up having to leave the community. The way I was treated was horrific. My kids went through hell. Almost 10 years later and my life is on track. I try not to let this affect my life even though it is what made me the woman I am today. I’m in London and this is a worldwide tragedy that happens to so many of us. It’s not just mothers. It’s fathers too. Thank you for being an avenue for survivors of cults and closed communities to speak out.
TRUE, ,OUR FAMILY WAS AND ARE BLACK LIUSTED STILL AFTER V110 YRS
Thank you for being brave enough to choose freedom for yourself and your children. I wish you nothing but the absolute best!
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
I always look forward to seeing this comment.✊🏾
@@dfreeman13 If one person learns they’re not alone, it helps. The more we listen the sooner we get to a time where we don’t have to. If that makes sense.
I would think that her father would have started to question the character of her ex husband. Not his moral character but his lack of character that would allow his wife's father to ensure that his wife and children are fed and clothed. The marriage agreement was for a house and 5 years of support but it sounds like it went on much longer..and then to have the audacity to not even use the money he was given to buy his children shoes but have no qualms about spending it on himself. I don't know how her father could continue to respect him because of his inability or maybe even lack of drive to contribute to the well being of his family. I guess you don't think much about having 10 kids when you don't have to worry about making the money to feed, clothes, and educate them.
See the work of Jewish historian Guyenot.
Fully agree with you
@@terireed3740
Those menstruation rules are very degrading
Being in a normal public school I felt ashamed of my period sometimes still do I’m almost thirty being in this religion would be rough
Historically, I believe these rules were put in place to protect women from needing to provide sex for their husbands at vulnerable times (it's similar around childbirth as well). I completely agree that they are degrading and it's incredibly harmful to teach women (and men) that periods are dirty. I just thought the context of the rules (which are sad for yet more reasons) may be interesting
@@hannahluck1240"provide sex for their husbands" sounds like a Pez dispenser.
I think the same, it is so degrading to say we are impure when we have our periods, when really, they are a part of the cycle that allows us to give life!!! I am so sad that girls and women live thinking that they are dirty during their periods 😢
So the Rabi is an expert in periods? You need an outside authority to determine if the blood has stopped, and a male authority for that matter... 🤷🤔 That's absolutely crazy and creepy and degrading of course.
Could you imagine being a woman or teen girl with a bleeding disorder??? There was a period in my life that I bled every single day for over ten months. There were also times I went extended periods of time without. I grew up in fundie/purity culture and it would have been so humiliating for the world, or even my own family, to know what I was going through. Don't even get me started on the state of women's health care, or lack there of
That’s a really great point! Thanks for sharing
That is a good question. What do woman do who have irregular, or missing periods?
In Islam we have special status during menstruation, too. However, a period if you have a bleeding disorder, has a max of 8 days. Then bath and resume normal life.
There's really no excuse you couldn't find good health care for your gyno needs. It should have been there.
I have endo and I think over the last two years I have barely had a period of seven days with no trace of blood.
The courage it took to leave all this behind after having had 10 children..... Respect, Beatrice.
How is leaving 10 kids power?😢
@@rstefanskyshe took the four youngest with her, the other 6 were adults
How could any family turn their back on their daughter in such a cold and cruel manner,is something I will never understand.This woman is incredibly brave for taking such an incredible leap of faith in her own ability to leave such a controlling environment.
Because they hate women. Pure and simple.
So many groups do it, too, the Amish being another. Some stricter Evangelical groups will cut their children off. It's like they're dead. So hard to understand.
Do the mysogynistic religions ever notice how much they have in common regarding the treatment of women?
I don’t think so. They truly believe that their way is correct
It's true. Men try to overcontrol it's happening most religions
Nope. They're too focused on their own pride and sel-importance
no, because the women are part of the oppression of younger women... it is a cycle
Got news for you - they're all misogynistic
Beatrice, you are the definition of a strong woman! I truly hope all of your children can someday find it within themselves to be a part of your life.
Look..... what makes you special is the environment you grew up in. Look how watched over you were. In todays modern secular world no one cares what you eat etc. Look at how holy your family was. You were fortunate.
@@leahsiegel9068 I don't think you meant to reply to me.
My Ancestor Mary Barnes was hanged in 1662 for having opinions. Women never get a break.
probably all witch hunt was about that back in time
No, they do not. And a lot of men still want to control women
Im so sorry about Mary, my condolences. Gone but not firgotten
why do they hate/envy women so much? it's mental
@@erah4994Absolutely true. When you strip away the religious language, any witch trials boil down to women who have their own ideas.
They want you to have babies yet consider you unclean for the process a baby comes about.
There’s something so powerful about you Beatrice. You are someone who has been to hell and back, you not only survived, you thrived. Unbreakable, graceful, kindness embodied. Thank you for being you, you’re an inspiration
@@obsidianbutterfly2857 🙏thanks for your kind words
Oh, well said. I was fascinated listening to her and can't wait to watch part 2. (Reminds me also of the book 'Unorthodox'.) On a lighter note, how on earth could Beatrice keep that beautiful hair hidden for 20 years!? Everything she is now, is what came out of who she had to be and I'm thrilled for her that she found herself.
If a religion proscribes a morning prayer to thank God for not being born a woman, you should know that the same man will feel entitled to treat women as lesser beings.
Bloody obvious, JS.
I hope they understand how hard it is to be a woman specially in a man’s world.
You don't understand that blessing at all, it is acknowledging that men have more commandments than women as women have a different role in life and are therefore created closer to perfection than men and we are therefore thanking G-d "anyway' for our role, orthodox jews hold their wives on a pedestal and have super respect for them.
@menachemfeuer4395 Why then are they thanking God that they have more rules and are less "perfect" than women? Your logic in your response is lacking.
How are you closer to "perfect" whilst also considered impure or dirty for half of a month?! @@menachemfeuer4395
I cannot imagine growing up in a society that subjugates women to such a degree. Congratulations for getting out and thank you for sharing your story.
I grew up in a section of the country where the few Jewish people who were there were either non observant or attended a very progressive temple. I didn’t even learn about Hasidic Judaism until I was a young adult. My first thought was, “Wow, they must be so blessed living such righteous lives.” How wrong I was. Extremism in any faith tends to be abusive, it would seem.
If you thought they were blessed, maybe they WERE really blessed. This woman doesn't speak for every hasidic woman
Don't ascribe this to all Chassidim. Trust me on this. Women, in general, run the Jewish World, even amongst most Chassidim. It may not seem like it on the surface at times, but we (men) have to work harder at being good Jews just to be worthy of the women in our lives. I am also going to try to find time to dig in on this former Rebbetzin. In another video, she ascribed actions to the community that were blatantly WRONG. Now this video, I still see things that I am not sure that I really believe. However, I do know that there are some idiots out there (I personally try to help with those who refuse to provide Getts to their former spouses), so it is possible that most of what she says is true and she either misspoke or is embellishing to try to gain more sympathy.
I grew up chassidic and left in my 30s. I can't say I ever felt women were specifically subjugated. It's an extreme rule based society. The men r just as controlled as the women.. my arranged marraige was hell for me. But let's not blame it on misogyny
@@artofmybody2882 don't you think there are good and bad marriages everywhere? And don't you think there are happy chassidim, who don't feel controlled?
I remember a big “scandal” in Montreal. There was a gym, close to an Hasidic community. They asked the gym owner to cover the windows so the Hasidic men could not see the women working out… It did not fly! Boy did that create a controversy!
How did that play out? Who won?
I remember that 😂 i was still part of the community and i think i was still living in Boisbriand, but the news was so “outrageous” that even in that little community they were worried about the implications of this gym in Montreal in the Hasidic area - that was refusing to cover their windows 🙈
They can just look away or close their curtains
Forcing their beliefs in others? Ridiculous.
That’s pretty comical considering a LOT of those men they’re worried about have IG, Snap, Fetlife (which specifically has Frum hookup groups) etc accounts in secret trying to hookup & do plenty of “looking”. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
It's really sad how people become trapped in these cults and believe it's actually a good thing to be treated like dirt by your family and community.
You are not trapped, unless you are in an unhealthy relationship. Following the doctrines of Jewish law, doesn't make a woman be treated like dirt, on the contrary, Jewish women enjoy a special status.
I'm a librarian in Antwerp, Belgium - where there is one of those Hassidic/ultra Orthodox (I'm sorry I don't know the difference) enclaves Beatrice talks about. It makes me sl happy when young girls come in to borrow and read books. At least this way they can get a glimpse of the outside world.
I wonder how many little Muslim girls come in to read books... yeah I'm sure your biggest worry for your country and especially for your city is the few Jews😂
So her and her husband had 10 kids he didn’t work. Her parents had to support a family of 12+ themselves. This is outrageous.😮
The question is, what job did her father have.
@@drthomason7043the men study the Torah. That is their whole “job”. That’s how the community works, generally
@anniemoultray3437 yes so it was his wife's job as a principal that supported them and his philanthropic offerings. However her Dad may have been a translator or cantor or paid for some other service to the community
The more of these stories that come out, the more people can see the patriarchy doesn’t work and spiritual manipulation is real and everywhere! Thank you so much for sharing 🖤🖤
@@MotherOfBaggins 💜
A normal patriarchy works not this toxic version of it.
So glad to hear that. Patriarchy doesn't work.
It would happen too if women were in charge. It'a not about patriarchy or matriarchy, it's about the abuse of power. You should research about women in other cultures who sometimes keep their daughters on a shorter leash than the men, defending their horrible traditions, thinking: if it was good enough for me, it is good enough for you. And how many women have abortions or neglect their children? We won't suddenly have world peace, if women are in charge. Just look at Hitlery Clinton. It's sinful, human behaviour.
He not only wasn't a good husband, he wasn't even a good Jew. Has he never heard of פיקוח נפש?? He absolutely should have gotten you medical help. What an awful human being. Who looks at anyone needing medical help and do nothing, let alone their spouse??
Brainwashing is a real thing. It even affects the conscience.
you cant problem solve when you have cognitive and emotional overload; "keeping sweet" equates survival. I am always so impressed with the strength, determination, resiliency and sheer power of the individuals on your show
The host is like a therapist. She listens, validates, and asks important questions. Plus she doesn’t interrupt. She’s awesome.
What a great video. Beatrice is a brave strong woman. I hope she is happy and living a good life.
That’s so kind of you to say. Thank you! I do my best ❤️
Extremism is never good. This is a sect. They want to be purer than the purer. I’m a modern orthodox Jewish woman. I feel blessed being Jewish.
So much this!! I grew up going to catholic school and the varied practices between families were pretty astounding. Even within a smaller community some of the girls weren’t allowed to be friends with me (since I was Protestant, which isn’t the right flavour of Christian)
I grew up in IBLP. I struggle with I still have a belief that God is with me. However, I can't accept organized religion. I went to Easter service with my mother, and all I thought was are they being abused when I looked at the children. I looked at the women, and I felt pitty. Then I was thinking I'm so sorry God that I am having these negative feelings. It's been a struggle.
@missamanda2703 I can really empathise with this. I've always believed in God (grew up Christian, but in a pretty liberal community), and to be honest, I've never really found any organised religion that aligns with my core beliefs and principles. The final straw for me was when my daughter died and I was told "God has a plan" by several people of different faiths/backgrounds. That solidified my belief that I wouldn't ever be able to align myself with a particular religion, because I don't believe God chose for my perfectly healthy child to die. I've never understood the notion that God "plans" horrific things to happen to us all.
@@missamanda2703Jesus came and dismantled institutional organized religion/legalism. Stick to the word of God, read your Bible. You don’t need a church building, a “pastor”, “authority” over you. We are held accountable to the Lord God almighty. Pray and ask Him all your questions and read read read His word ✨🩷✨
yep, same here, I grew up Jewish. Got into fundamentalist Christianity as an adult. Just as with any religion, it's always the extremes in Judaism. Most of these horror stories are coming from the very insular groups.
Thank you so much to both of you for shining the light on religious control and abuse.
The implication of little girls having to cover up 😢😢
Right!?! Good lord, that’s awful.
So sad 😢
It is not really as bad as it sounds. Being an empowered woman doesn’t mean to show the most skin, being an empowered woman is to choose when I want to show and to whom. I love modesty as a Jewish Woman
@@rayzelpion8825the comment was about children. It’s sad & sick that children are viewed as sexual objects.
@@rayzelpion8825 The concern here is that 3 yo’s are expected to be all covered up because the implication is that men would find them tempting. It’s not at all a concern about women having their own clothing standards.
As a mother, I simply cannot imagine raising my children with fear in their hearts, especially fear of disobeing, fear of "being a bad kid", fear of disappointing your family. That flies in the face of the *unconditionnal* love and support every child needs in order to build secure attachments, a strong sense of self and self confidence. My heart breaks for all the children, in whatever circumstances, who grow up without true unconditionnal love and affection. Thank you for sharing your story, Béatrice.
Thank you for an interview that was handled with such sensitivity. Beatrice is such a thoughtful, articulate, strong woman. The fact that she left all she had known, regardless of how frightening it must have been, took such strength and courage. She is magnificent.
Still watching and wont ever stop. Keep spreading the truth and providing a platform for the voiceless to share their truths. The community is expanding. They can't hide under their rocks forever!
💯💯💯
I grew up hassidic . I was so excited to see this new upload.
Beatrice, thank you for sharing. You're very brave. Cults to consciousness is my favorite youtube channel
Which group? How old were you when you went off the derech?
I think it is very unusual for a woman in her forties to leave.
@stephenfisher3721 it is unusual, but it's her story.
Any idea which group she's from? Just curious. Not Chabad, I suppose.
@hma237 definitely not chabbad. I don't know her personally so I wouldn't know but why would it matter?
@@hma237
I thought she said Satmar.
Such burdens to bear ... thank you for sharing. My Christian daughter converted to Orthodox Judaism and is kosher. She says that if I buy Matzos for Passover, I defile the Jewish shop because I am "an idolator who worships the man Yeshua." My mother put her teacup in my daughter's non-dairy kitchen sink and the cup had to be broken. These rules of men don't earn salvation and I don't believe G-d is pleased by them, when they create difficulty, division and false guilt.
You are SUCH a beautiful, highly intelligent, STRONG woman - your light shines so brightly and I am so glad you survived the urge to end things in your darkest hour. You are the kind of person I would love to just get a coffee with and talk and talk and talk! Peace to you and much, much joy because you deserve it and you always did.
Beatrice, thank you for sharing your story and for your advocacy for those that are helpless in this cult. Shelise, you are one of the best interviewers I’ve ever seen. The way you ask questions that focus solely on the guest’s story and then give them TIME to answer in their own manner. You honour every single guest that you have on.
It's very disturbing that the more strict modest dress for girls and segregation of the sexes would start at 3. This implies that a 3 year old needs to be modest bc there is something sexual about them.
Yes. This comes from a biblical interpretation that Rebecca was married to Isaac when she was 3
@@helyns1416iiiiiiiiiiick
3 is the age allowed to start pedo sexualizing
Interesting, in Islam it is as early as 9 years old but schools initiate it from 6 years old. Imagine objectifying kids into sexual objects even before they realise what does being a girl or a boy mean!! Pathetic how religious institutions control us in the name of God.
@@helyns1416 haha what that's crazy, I thought it might be about their belief that the hymen grows back until they are 3. I can't remember exactly how it's worded but all the religious text are online now, and you can read them yourselves. Essentially it says that a girl can not lose her virginity from birth to 3 years old, because her hymen will grow back.... so creepy
I am Jewish and whilst my grandparents were raised in the Orthodox tradition growing up in Hungary, they later became less religious after arriving in Australia. I cannot imagine being Frum ( ultra religious). I don’t think I would cope, even though I believe In G-d and celebrate all the holidays.
I was a "Gentile" who married a Jewish boy from the Nth Beaches Sydney, his family wasn't Orthodox but some of the rules were hard for me to live with. However his Aunty and cousins were full on Orthodox and they left this little Presbyterian mind boggling. I couldn't live like that.
Wow, Beatrice! SO glad you are safe and doing well after escaping all of your trauma. Looking forward to your next interview! 🥰
Though I'm not Jewish by race, I practice Judaism as a belief. I do not feel a need to convert, but I love the closeness with G-d that I never had in Christianity. So, I am not familiar with all the different "sects" of Judaism per se, but just simply enjoy worshipping Him the way Tanakh says, too. I find the Talmud interesting, but I do not follow it for how I worship.
Do teshuva
Look around you
Assimilation will not save you from the jihadists
@littleredpixie3116 come on into the Jewish world! It's so much richer than anything Christian. My husband and I wish we had left that world long before we did!
Shelise,you do such a great job at asking the right questions and listening to your guests stories.Loved the episode!
Thank you so much!☺️🙏
When she said “there’s nothing more powerful than a woman getting a job and going to college” 🥹 I’ve been a stay at home mom for 20 years and I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship. I’m 38 and I start my first classes at the end of this month. I’ve gone through so much heartache and personal growth over the last few years. Those words were powerful to me and although I didn’t come from a controlling religion I relate with a lot of what Beatrice is saying.
Congratulations for starting college! What a brave decision
Crystal that’s amazing that you’re taking that leap! Sending love ❤️
@@beatriceweber1 Thank you both so much! I’m eager to get started and work towards a new life for myself and my children.
That’s amazing! I went to school in my 30’s and it was perfect timing for me, I was finally in a good place to focus on my own schooling. Good luck, you’ve got this! 💙
Amazing!!
Outsiders are afraid to criticize the Jewish community and help to protect the victims because the labels of antisemitism. I’m sorry you were so isolated and was years before you found your place in the world and that peace.
Criticizing the entire Jewish community as a whole IS antisemitic. This lady grew up in an extremist cult. Most jews don't live this way as you know and do criticize these extremists. I agree though that ppl should continue to criticize cults like this.
Exactly! Just look at the war crimes of today. I’m not opening a discussion. But if any western country would commit these acts Israel commits right now. It would be crazy out cry. I’m not even talking about a 3 world country.
Yes, indeed: folk who challenge infant male genital mutilation get nowhere, either.
@@ritawing1064see I have an issue with people likening unconsenting male circumcision to in any way as bad as female genital mutilation. Which is what saying make genital mutilation implies. FGM is literally removing entire part of anatomy purely for men's pleasure and purity culture. There is no circumstance that a doctor would perform FGM for a medical reason. It's perfectly reasonable to say it is not ethically wrong to perform male circumcision on an infant but you can do that using different language that doesn't downplay FGM. Because there are some circumstances a urologist would recommend circumcision for medical reasons which was why it started to be done routinely. Now we know it's not necessary. So use non- consensual elective. People who do this clearly have never met a woman who has been through FGM it's disgusting you are trying to compare them its like comparing assault to murder
@farhana6913 I know what you mean and of course FGM is far worse than infant circumcision (although the traditional form has caused fatalities), but it's important to acknowledge the lack of consent and the actual mutilation, not least because, as Brian Earp's research found, rabid proponents of infant male circumcision will try to justify it by comparison with the less extreme forms of female genital mutilation. No one should be messing unnecessarily with children's anatomy, not fgm, not ear piercing, not circumcision, nothing! Concentrating on the degree of harm will not get to the root of it all - though of course the most strenuous efforts should be made to do away with the most egregious offences - fgm.
Thanks for having more ex orthodox jewish ppl on the show. I grew up in an orthodox community (though not chassidish) and what she said about the ritual baths is so real. It was always so uncomfortable and dehumanizing to me. But when I talked to my other married friends, they always viewed it as a beautiful spa-like ritual. And they viewed it as healthy for the marriage. In fact that jewish ppl had more healthy marriages because of this ritual time apart (absence make the heart grow fonder and all that). And i could never wrap my head around how they were having such a drastically different experience than me. It made me feel like i was only valuable for my reproductive abilities.
Everyone’s different, I think it’s beautiful
The ritual baths are the most amazing spiritual experience.. you cleans within rain pure water, and it is a very spiritual experience... you are all not being honest and missing the deeper meaning to all these laws which are beautiful.
@@rife9855 except that the mikvahs (ritual baths) were reported the source of lots of infections in Brooklyn, Borough Park, etc.
I LOVE going to the mikvah! It's a beautiful, refreshing experience. It's time to do self-care and take my time. Reconnecting with my husband is like a wedding night, each month. It's respectful and wonderful. I have never experienced anything other than the utmost respect from the mikvah ladies who assist at the mikvah.
@@rife9855 They're being honest. To themselves, not some ritual that was designed to keep the brood stock healthy.
I'm so excited for episode 2! This one was excellent (as usual), and I look forward to hearing Beatrice talking about how she left and her life after leaving. ❤
I worked in an "extreme" Kosher food facility and I can tell you, the rules are no joke. We would have entire shipments of lettuce/herbs rejected because a rabbi found one or two MICROSCOPIC mites in it... Was depressing honestly as the producer of that food but that's what my honestly irresponsible bosses (who were Jewish but definitely not orthodox) deserved for promising them that we could produce insect-free produce without washing
Would you then sell the reject batches on to regular supermarkets?
No one should have access to those baths when another man/child is using them. Those men who knew about the abuse and did NOTHING should be behind bars too!!!
Wow, had no idea that the brides family were responsible for supporting the new marriage financially for 5 YEARS!!!! So orthodox men do not work to support the family, and not only does she have to bear 10-15 children under impossible rules and regulations, but the male head of the household virtually does nothing financially to support that huge family? Living like a slave, living off her parents and stipends so that he could “study”, demeaned by a passive aggressive male……no wonder they isolate so that they can keep a medieval patriarchal society going.
This was her personal experience. It doesn’t happen in every household, absolutely not!!
It's only ultra-orthodox and not all sects and It's not families even among ultra orthodox.
I watch Jewish women, orthodox and Hasidic, on Tik Tok justify and minimize the extremism of the ways that they are treated and I had to stop. It disturbs me to see how they are controlled and manipulated in the name of god.
Miriam?
Is Miriam hassidic?
@@raeunderpressure she is ashkenazi but its really strict like hasidic
@@wiki-ex4tqAlmost all hassisim are askkenazim. Ashkenaz designate the eastern European jews whilst sefaradim designates the jews from maghreb, middle east who originated from the iberic peninsula.
@@raeunderpressureyes she is Chabad, but her community is considered more liberal than the one Beatrice is from
40:34 resonated with me as a Mormon girl who wanted to get married in the temple and say "I did it! I got one!" And in the end regretted it so much.
❤️❤️❤️
To me, this is not Judaism; it is a fanatical cult.
What i learned listening to your videos is that the difference between boys and girls, modesty and sex is the same in all the cults, only the ages it begins are different. My opinion is that these rules makes abuse much more happening because the twisted way the cults look at the body. Such a shame.
True. The abuse in Hasidic strict sects starts a lot earlier than 12&13
Girls are sexualized from age 3 and boys from around age 7
Very true. And take note: what she said was that at 12&13 the kids are considered “adults” regarding religious laws - however the sexualization starts a lot earlier! For Hasidic girls it’s at age 3 and boys age 7
Here’s my husband sharing - on Cults to Consciousness - some of the challenges he faced growing up a Hasidic boy
czcams.com/video/MLyBzMFbJdM/video.htmlsi=BigtOxqIzc417kYM
I live in Israel and for 6 months I worked in the city of Bnei Brak that it is a very religious place, there are no coffee shops to sit in the main streets-not allowed, the place is so filthy with wraps of snacks, mountains of snack wraps between the buildings, the women are just plain exhausted there-tons of children and they are the bread winners of the family, very small children walking alone in the main streets without supervision like the 5 yers old taking care of the 3 year olds..., tons of mental disable children with down syndrome beyond statistics, many stores vandalized by extremists as for example shops that sell "non kosher" cell phones (that are not restricted), threatening posters on the streets to warn women that do not wear humble clothes and the consequences ,the bus is always full of children with filthy diapers and it smells awful, they thrive on gossip and men who work with you and talk to you at the office will totally ignore you in the street because they afraid what others will say, and all this is nonsense in relation of what REALLY happens there, it was a very unpleasant experience.
Woah. Thanks for sharing
And still people believe the war crimes they commit are fairytales very sad. I think the women are the key to stopping the violence cause they clearly are suffering too…
This comment engages in classic anti-Semitic stereotypes, though that might not have been the intention. Try to step back and think about what you write.
@@David99356 This is the tactic that tries to silence any critical comment by invoking "stereotype" or "trope." Someone saying they saw snack wrappers in Bnei Brak -- Whoa! that's the classic stereotype about Jews and snack wrappers! And on it goes, gagging humanitarians who criticize |DF violence (that's the medieval "blood libel" myth!); silencing democrats who criticize AIPAC donations (that's the Shylock money-lender trope!). Actual anti-Jewish stereotypes do crop up in public culture, but not all critical observations are "anti-semitic."
@David99356 how is that comment anti semetic? I can't see it.
Beatrice you are so strong and sharing your story is priceless! I’m so jealous of your beautiful hair and I can’t believe you shaved your hair for 20 years. I’m so happy that after 20 years of not letting your hair grow you have the blessing of such beautiful curls. You look so healthy and happy, your skin glows. I hope you are able to enjoy each day and that your children understand you always did the best in being their mother at every stage of life you were in. Do good, when you know better, do better. That seems like what you have done.
Thank you 🙏
😮😮 another story that has me on the edge of my seat! Also TEN KIDS!! I'm speechless 😂😮
Yep I worked in a kosher food factory when I was young and we had a rabbi come once a week to inspect the ingredients and bless everything.
This is a misconception. Kosher food does not get blessed. The inspections are to make sure that the various ritual laws are being followed. While the person doing the inspection is often a rabbi it doesn't have to be. It just needs to be a person who has been well trained in the laws of kosher.
@@helyns1416 maybe it's not "blessed" per se but the rabbis did pray over the facility/certain shipments at our facility as well
@@sianmilne4879that's fair. I think I just wanted to make the distinction that any prayers said are not what makes the food kosher per se. Kosher is what I like to call a sort of religious pseudoscience where foods have certain statuses due to a variety of rules and factors. So a kosher certification means that the food has been monitored essentially from farm to table to make sure no rules were broken.
My step uncle was a rabbi, butchershop owner and avid playboy magazine collector, in the 60s. Some ritual practices are simply smoke screens
@@helyns1416 thank you for the clarification!
Your husband was not a good Jew. Life is the exception to Shabbat. Protection of life takes precedence over EVERYTHING. I’m so sorry for what you went through.
But it’s good to control women by allowing man to control their body with roles about every single part of women purity and how we dress and what we eat all are the most basic human rights and you have no freedoms and man has the power of choice which food is כשר or what is צנוע לבנות or what is ok במחזור or it you allow to get גט as women form orthodox community not חסדים או חרדים but extremely religious I left the community but married a man who was sociopathic violence and abuse in every aspect and control in every part of life and I was normal because it’s what I know growing up as a child and in the community it all makes the most impact growing up in this community as a woman you’re only role is being good and do what you told a good girl and good women and wife I don’t know how I survive I still don’t feel free form my ex husband or from the brainwash of the community I grew up in it better than before but it’s stragglers every day and it’s taking me re ejected myself first to get to escape from the nightmare I lived under so good it the first thing that they said about each person to get their way or how is good it not enough so i sick about feeling guilty or bad person just because I was speaking out good girl stay silent and stay married no matter what happens
Thank you for saying that. I’m not Jewish but I’ve definitely heard this before.
💯
Pikuach nefesh trumps just about everything.
Yes Pikuach nefesh!
In Judaism, life is the exception in every law.
What an incredible strength Beatrice has shown in breaking out of this mysegonistic sect! Thank you for sharing your story, teaching us the reality of this type of life. She looks happy, which gives hope and shows trauma can be overcome.
Love that you’re doing another video on Hassidic women & the dark side that can come living in that community. While there are plenty of women who identify as happy & fulfilled living a Hassidic life, & not all Hassidic me are abusive, there are many in that community suffering in silence.
Great job as usual, Shelise!!!
Having grown up keeping kosher as a modern orthodox Jew, I have never heard anything like the Popsicle color rule and cannot think of a law that would relate to that issue. But I do know that some of these extremist sects will see taking on extra stringencies as a virtuous thing to do. I will also say that we were fine with all produce (just washed it first) and most kosher certifications. And if we messed up we didn't have to repent. We just stopped eating the thing if we realized halfway through that there was an issue and tried to do better next time. Also, there's a general concept that even if a child made a mistake it is not that serious and is ultimately the responsibility of the parents. The whole point of a bar or bat mitzvah is that the child has become old enough to keep all of the laws and be responsible for their own observance. I'm also disturbed that she was taught that only observant Jews go to heaven. Growing up we really were not heaven/hell focused much at all and there was never a question that non-Jews could also go to heaven. Just want to give some perspective at the diversity that exists even among observant Jews bc many ppl have such culture shock when they hear these extreme stories and they struggle to understand how any of these practices could exist within a more moderate and healthy framework. I'm not exactly orthodox anymore and I do have a bit of trauma/baggage around that but i do wany ppl to understand that it is possible to engage in this kind of lifestyle without it being full of terror and restriction and stringency. There is even an orthodox feminist movement which I was very involved with when I was younger and many of my friends are still doing great things to make the community more inclusive and just.
Toronto in the 70's and 80's did not have access to all the ou products and such. There were these popsicles available in those years that were not stamped with a hechsher. There were lots of stupid rumors about which food colors were kosher or not. Purple absolutely not - from grapes without supervision. Red absolutely not - from insects. These kinds of weird BS is what I grew up with in Toronto. She is telling 100% the truth. I was there and I lived a similar life though not chassidic like her.
Torah specifically prohibits taking 'extra' stringents' on. It also prohibits removing those stringentcies already on the books.
Our religion ( Orthodox);is beautiful! Listening to this interview is an exaggeration of our. Orthodox life. Shes making everything sound so severe, but there is so much falsehood in this interview. Usually people who are suffering some other traumas, are the ones that rebel. We have a beautiful heritage and we don't feel stifled in any way. IT IS NOT A CULT.
@@sarahp.4486Sure.
@@sarahp.4486 you are a gaslighter. If feel you are in the right place for yourself, that is great.
Her hair is natural, full of beautiful curls is her crown 👑.
I grew up in Williamsburg and would be around the Hasidic Jews and it’s so sad to think of how different my life and the life of those women were😢
Wouldn’t it be sad and boring if we were all the same?
@Faigyfeig in an open secular society (at least hopefully) individuals can pursue their own goals, happiness, etc... it shouldn't make everyone the same, vs what an insular, orthodox society does.
Oh my goodness
What a treat!
Beatrice has been my inspiration since 2019 when I was lucky to “meet” her in a program that we both took part in. She has taught me so much how to be gentle with myself (back when she did group coaching) and has been a role model to me how not to give up hope and stay strong no matter the challenges that life throws at you.
I have so much more to say about this marvellous woman and incredible soul that she is, but I’m pressed for time ATM, so for now i will just add how delighted and grateful I am for this in depth piece, shared with so much grace! And boy am I looking forward to part 2 😍
I wrote “meet” because it was online at first
@@shifralowen Thank you for your kind words
Cannot wait to hear part 2 💜🤷🏼♀️ She’s a wonderful speaker.
Beatrice thank you for being so brave I went on soft white underbelly outing the Lakewood community and boy did I get attacked
I'll never stop of being intrigued who similar all these "cults" are.
Thank you for sharing your story.
It’s all about control
All about MALES having control.
Those poor kids growing up with such restrictions. It breaks my heart!!!
They know no different.
Thats the reason Wendi Adelson filed for divorce
Heck fucking yeah to going to college and getting a job as a woman. It was my way out of an abusive household as well. I am grateful. I know there are many paths to independance but this one works well for now.
I'm actually going down that path now, I'm hoping to receive chapter 35 benefits through my father. It's likely the only way I'll get to go, but this way I can have a life away from the people who hurt me.
What kind of language is this. You are worse than the people this lady was subject too.
I appreciate that this channel has been exploring more diversity in the religious groups and sects and sharing more stories from people outside of Christianity or “Christianity adjacent”. It makes it easier to see what the similarities and differences are and what the actual core problems are in these high control groups and a how they oppress and take advantage of people.
Edited to make things more clear.
What is "Chistianity but to the left"?
@@ghighiannemorrison4922 I mean a religion takes a lot of the same themes and maybe still worships Jesus or considers him an important figure, but doesn’t actually identify as a Christian sect. Not left as in political left or anything! I realize that could have been very unclear so I edited my original comment. I mean to the left as in “diverges from Christianity” or “Christianity adjacent” sort of like Mormonism or jehovahs witnesses etc
I once cat-sit for an orthodox (but not ultra-orthodox) couple in my apartment building. They let me know it was fine to hang out there and use their TV, etc while I was checking on their cat. I saw a book about the marriage rules around menstruation she is talking about and I pretty much read/skimmed the whole thing. It was fascinating to me. And it’s not a small pamphlet, it’s a whole big book. I learned all about the mikvah bath, the little white cloths, the not touching for that certain time period, etc.
If they had a TV and a cat they were definitely not Hasidic! But yes orthodox Jewish people keep those rules too
It was interesting to hear your perspective on some of those rules because I have heard from women still practicing Orthodox Judaism that those rules are beautiful and actually bring the couple closer together. For me reading about it was interesting but it did seem like a lot to remember and a big burden placed specifically on women.
@@valerieodonnell6764 when I was in the community I would say the same thing. That’s the only way to survive
@@beatriceweber1I think in the Hasidic world where everything is so stringent that is probably true but in the regular orthodox community where I live I don’t think that is true, not saying it isn’t hard but it’s not something I say I like so I can survive but there are definitely parts to it I find very beautiful, maybe if everything wasn’t so extreme for you, you would also agree…. I’m very thankful I did not grow up that way and I was shown how beautiful Judaism can be….we definitely eat strawberries and broccoli and lettuce and multicolor popsicles lol
When your piety determines your salvation and status it’s natural that people will create new rules to puff themselves up in their eyes and the communities eyes to prove they are the most pious.
Thank you so much for this channel it has completely changed my life for the better❤
Might write more, but I wanted already to stop the video to thank Beatrice for the intake of air she took when talking about the shame over eating a yellow popsicle and getting her sisters one, then getting ratted out.
I see you from our weird rules that for us constantly changed, with goal posts ever moving. Orange was my favorite, and we didn't often get one. How devastating to children to be allowed one AND get money, then the stupid flavor isn't there, the parentified child seeing their own sense of loss reflected on the face of babier sisters. You did the in charge, bestest of sisters thing. The right thing. I'm so sorry, because this experience is just one stich in a motif that will play along the tapestry of a whole childhood, young adulthood and then spark pain as an adult.
That one gesture says it all about the pain of living under the intense rules that coercive control is established upon. All the tears. All of them. Air sucked in to feed a central nervous system that already had reasons to dysregulate brought in by inevitable inter-generational changes to DNA. One central nervous system to hold it all.
I can imagine a group of people who have extra legit reasons to draw together for safety, reasons that only go back a few decades (still piled on top of the preceding struggles, never forget that). legit sources for the compulsions behind extra rules, drawing them in.
My grandfather came home from WW2 with gingivitis and OCD. My grandmother came back from being evacuated from the London bombings with no understanding of nurturing and a sharp, sadistic streak. This all seeps down generations, changing our DNA, impacting stress and trauma response.
I'm not comparing my grandparents to anyone else, but I am interested in what even the milder by contrast experiences do to families and I guess, now, probably religious groups. I've long held the belief that these PTSD's (so many kinds and I know we are going to have that understanding soon, not just single event, not just compound, but developmental and so, so, so much more) come in through colonialism, racial hatred, through war.
I'm sorry. I see the child inside people because my own family mayhem resulted in me ending up a multiple, living with DID. A lot of us fragment, a lot don't, but there is usually one child left inside us, at least. I want yours to have one of those multicoloured, huge popsicles, sisters too, and hugs. For you all to make a sticky mess and feel loved and free.
Awe, I love that you see Beatrice as being the best sister she could be. I agree, she just wanted to have a little normalcy and a cold summer treat.
Great guest! Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I always feel like I get a lot of insight, but can also relate with what happens in any group when they become insular to the degree that they are a law unto themselves and “deal” with things internally, which leaves it up to non-objectivity, and/or no justice in many matters or situations within that group.
I am a staunch atheist, I grew up evangelical non denominational, but I was called secular as a pajorative for being too poor to afford private christian school. I had store bought clothes instead of home made dresses etc.
I broke away at 16 and moved from KS to NY on my own just to breathe. I feel you lady, if suppressed enough the human psychological state must change in order to cope with reality...or sadly religion takes over and eats itself. Imo.
Thank you S. Your interview style is the best of any ex-mo I’ve watched. (Of the many) delightful not to have a former “priesthood” head call the interview shots and over speak the guest with a still subservient wife at his side speaking when he allows. Beatrice is a gem. Found her website and offerings valuable. (author In Polygamy’s Shadow)
Wow, thank you!
Such a great interview. Thank you Beatrice for sharing your story❤
I'm in my early 60s and the more stories I hear the more aware I am of the abuse I survived. Before I blamed myself as being inadequate. Thank you for waking me up.
❤️❤️❤️
Wow! This breaks my heart reading about you feeling inadequate, not knowing the problem was with the system and not you 💔
Very relatable. I felt inadequate/incompetent/broken as well when i was growing up in the Hasidic community, never being able to be “good enough” to meet so many unrealistic expectations
same, I keep watching these to remind myself "It's not you, it's them"
I'm glad you are healing.
This is absolutely abhorrent.
Beatrice is so inspirational. I'm so sorry to hear of everything she has gone through, but I am so grateful that you are sharing.
I am going through a tough time with work and family (luckily nothing compared to the speakers on this channel).
If people can go through stuff like this and come out ok, it makes me feel hopeful that I can get better.
Thanks for all the work you guys do. It's so important
It's so wild to me that Frida Vizel has been working so hard on CZcams to normalize the Satmar and yet here is an eye opening view into what it's really like.
So much harm is done - especially to women and children when these types of communities are normalized.
My mom took a dna test too. 100% Ashkenazi. She was like ‘I don’t why I expected anything else😒😂’
I didn't even know one could be ethnically Jewish until doing an ancestry search on my mom's last name and it said Ashkenazi jew and Polish
My mom is 2.7% Jewish and I am 52 % Jewish. My mom was so happy to find out she had some Jewish blood in her !
Sounds like the people making the rules have extreme OCD
Yep, it's a very obsessive compulsive religion
That's the thing with religious extremism. They take the basic laws and rules of the religion and push it so far past what it started as and obsess over every detail to make it the most stringent possible.
There is a very high level of OCD and mental health issues in this community.
It’s worse than you think: so many suffer from severe OCD as a result of the ingrained fear and strict upbringing
Thousands of years of diaspora where questions about Halacha were transmitted along trade routes to the few rabbis who were great distances apart. Add our penchant for arguing about everything and this is where you end up!
Wowww I was born & raised in Brooklyn and Williamsburg is definitely their community I’ll say I’m not at all shocked it’s super sad that women have no voice or rights and indeed it is a prison. I commend this woman for being so strong 💪 Blessings 🙏
I work in a Hasidic community near the northern part of BedStuy and yesterday I saw two young girls (no older than 12 or 13), each pushing a stroller and it made me sad. Like they should be playing, enjoying their summer, not caring for siblings. I mean, babysitting can be cool but I'm familiar with the dynamics.
@@lizzybeary I see it where I live in families with many children, some moms sort seem to give up once they have a certain number and the older girls (and sometimes boys too) do a lot of the child rearing. One child I know, I didn't recognize his mother until he was perhaps 3-4 but knew his sister from when he was a couple months old. She was always outside with him and even went with him to baby activities like baby song. I first even thought she was his mother but found out she was his sister when talking to her. I am glad to see that since there was no new baby after him that his mother did start being a bit more active in his life at about 3-4. He has a great relationship to his sister still but I think he should have had that with his mother too.
@@lizzybearybelieve me they’re enjoying their summer a lot more than kids who are glued to their devices. They love taking their little siblings out in matching clothes and showing them off. Save your pity for those who really need it.
she speaks so eloquently. so so so much respect for this woman. thank you for sharing your story 💜
I grew up in a Christian family, more strict than common I guess, but everything you say is entirely familiar to me, the clothes, the modesty, the restrictions on available roles, the separation from boys, the total absence of information or mention of anything to do with sex, ..it wasn’t written down, I don’t know how it was communicated, it was just the way it was. I went to university and in a lecture we were asked who there was an atheist and many raised their hands and I was terrified. I’d heard of that but I had never known to be in the same room as them. Times have changed for everyone.
Whether Jewish, Christian or Islamic it's all about being more pious than your neighbour. All chasing status and acclaim.
Wow what a brave strong woman thank you for sharing part of your story! I’m definitely eagerly awaiting part 2!
Same here! 😊
This 💯💯💯
I enjoyed listening to your story. Religion is so oppressive, especially for women. So glad you could break free.
It's no good conflating all religions like that. This channel features people who left extreme groups, but for the vast majority of modern Christians for example, religion is barely any more restrictive than the moral code any upstanding person would try to follow - and actually very liberating in many ways.
@@aszechyread the Bible
I’m so glad you’re doing another one video on Chasidism. Many of their rules and doctrines are even more absurd and disturbing than fundamentalist Christians. I was raised in Jewish Renewal, which the polar opposite type of Judaism, the most open, accepting, and progressive denomination. My congregation has a lesbian rabbi. I’m sure the Hasidic rebbes would call us apostates.
Like in any religion, it’s such a broad spectrum of interpretations and often the fanatics are dangerous and abusive… I’m a non denominational Christian and can’t understand strict dress codes, women can’t work, etc… I’ve accepted that my version of God is love and peace and to have respect for all… it’s so sad when people need to be so extreme 😢
The fun thing is, whether they like it or not, you're Jewish if you're born to a Jewish mother (or convert). There's no such thing as a Jewish person losing their Jewish status if they don't practice "correctly".
Yours is just an example of going from one extreme to another. Some Humans have trouble maintaining a normal and balanced.perspective of things. I did read a book that explains where some of these picky unie rules came from that really arent apart of judiasm. It was during the time when jews were separated from the rest of society locked behind gates where they were poor and treated like animals and to hang on to some kind of reality, the patriarchs made up all those little rules
As a licensed therapist x 20+ yrs, I always share a universal truth w/ my clients that is especially critical to those who are abuse survivors; shame can not remain in the light, as it operates & is fueled only in the dark. Shining light on our struggles & asking for help are the keys to a path of healing & growth.
As one of my mentors, Dr. Brene Brown, once said, “You either walk inside your story & own it, or you stand outside your story & hustle for your worthiness.” It’s such a powerful statement & Beatrice is a shining example of doing just that. I’m beyond grateful & in awe of her choice to turn the light on & show that healing, growth, & thriving are possible when we stop living in the dark, alone w/ past secrets & shame.
Fantastic interview & can’t wait to see part two!!!
You need to know specifically about people’s cultural and religious backgrounds though.
@@ElisabeteSuzana - I couldn’t agree more & appreciate you adding that. Cultural &/or religious background is critical to being able to connect w/ & help clients.
Can't stop my brain from pulling images from "Unorthodox" to illustrate parts of the stories described ❤️
Thanks for sharing!! It's so important to lift the veil on lives different to your own❤️
Liked. Shared. Commented. Go algorithm go!
This was wonderful. Such an informative and important show. Thank you so much for sharing the testimony of this truly lovely woman with us.
Raised JW from birth and I so relate to her experience.
As an orthodox jewish woman, I feel very sorry for what you went through, Beatrice. 😢 All the hurt, all the trauma... It should not be how religious Jews treat each other (yes, ben adam lamakom is important, but to the same extent we havr ben adam lechavero!!).
Hope you find what you look for in life, le tova!! ❤
Shouldn’t be - but is.
@@beatriceweber1as human nature can be cruel and hurt people hurt people
So proud of her. She has come such a long way. 💕
Thank you ❤
Religions that come from the Semitic tradition are all so extreme and hostile to women. When she told her story, I must admit that it almost seemed to me as if she was reporting on Islam.
Pretty much, given that Islam is based in Christianity which was based on Judaism
@@melissamargolese8782
yes, I am well aware of that. As a Turk who is not a Muslim, I have found many parallels between Muslims, Jews and Christians, especially when they are extremely religious, but in all three traditions women are unfortunately always very disadvantaged, which makes me, as a father of a daughter, think a lot
In Islam it is actually exactly as the lady in the video describes: girls at 12, or let's put it this way when puberty begins, are viewed as women, which is utter nonsense. For example, inheritance law is totally to the disadvantage of women, divorce law, etc.
Thats a totally no go for me and not unacceptable for me
Islam only segregate adult women from men. Otherwise, sensible Muslims are not that strict.
Inheritance, women get less compared to their brothers but men are supposed to provide if women don't work and they get a share from their parents and husbands. In most of the households women have a very strong presence in decision making - there are exceptions but not part of religion.
@@denizbghbghdeniz-vg1bqI believe regular Muslim women in the U.S. and Canada are allowed to work and, if she's married, as long as she's caring for the kids she's allowed to do with her money whatever they please
😆 look up foodie beauty, she’s in Kuwait City… from Canada making a mockery of their religion I’m sure they’d ship her back to Canada where she’s running from taxes & multiple abortions & have arrested the Syrian male she’s with… it’s crazy 🫣👀
Beatrice, your story is inspirational. You are such an amazing person! I grew up in a little village in Poland, and my Catholic religion followed me to Chicago. I lived in the states for several years, and I still did not get any menstrual education. I thought I was literally dying from internal bleeding! I married in my religion, but I married an American. When I walked away from my religion, he was understanding. He keeps this secret from my mother till this day! We even moved 4 hours away from my many, many family members with lots of homes in the Chicago area. I hide from my family everything; my tattoos, my opinions, my feminism, and my political views. I did not want children, so I lied by saying I am infertile. I pick up every 8th -10th call my family makes to me. They do not like my husband for this…because how could a woman have her own opinion on things. 🤦🏻♀️
💜💜💜💜
Wow
What an incredible story
Thank you for sharing
What’s tattoos, opinions, feminism, political views have to do with the Catholic religion?
@@JaneLolli apparently everything in my little village in Poland. lol 🤦🏻♀️
What a sad traumatic story. Glad to be part of the generation that is breaking the cycle and refusing to do to our kids what was done to us.
A few years ago I read an interview on Vice with rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg titled The Child-R*pe Assembly Line. What he said and what he experienced after revealing what he knew was so traumatizing to me, I can't get these stories out of my head. Also, how prevalent this type of a*use of small boys is!!!!
What a wonderful story teller Beatrice is! I was enthralled with her story. I'm so glad she got out and found the life she deserved. 😊