How To Break Through Someone's Denial | Addiction Psychology Secrets

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  • čas přidán 11. 05. 2022
  • The addiction is so obvious, but the person just can't see it. How can someone be in denial so deeply? How do you get someone to see that addiction is destroying their life (and yours)? Support this channel by hitting the "Thanks" button below the video!
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Komentáře • 60

  • @PutTheShovelDown
    @PutTheShovelDown  Před 2 lety +3

    Watch a real-life Motivational Enhancement session: 🗣️ www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/motivational-interviewing-session

  • @albert.robles7
    @albert.robles7 Před 2 lety +18

    I've heard so many people saying that Psychedelics like magic mushroom helped them get through addiction and depression, don't know how true it is, but I'm still trying to find a reliable place to buy spores or purchase the actual mushrooms, I've got addiction and terrible anxiety

    • @trevornelson61
      @trevornelson61 Před 2 lety +3

      psilocybin mushrooms can all take users through a wild mind-bending ride that can open up your senses and deepen your connection to the spirit world

    • @ugmiles.
      @ugmiles. Před 2 lety +2

      @@userconspiracynut is he on IG or what?

    • @lopeztwinjason
      @lopeztwinjason Před 2 lety +4

      when i tried shrooms i ate way more than i should of because i thought they wouldn’t work and then my face got numb and i threw up shrooms and my friend was laughing but trying to comfort me and the bathroom lights were flickering cuz they were old and i had to go home

    • @userconspiracynut
      @userconspiracynut Před 2 lety +2

      @@ugmiles. yeah, He has variety of stuffs like mushrooms, LSD, DMT even the chocolate bars

    • @user-nancyy
      @user-nancyy Před 2 lety +2

      I literally don’t know why but shrooms make me giggle so much like I be cheesin for no goddamn reason

  • @mellbell5236
    @mellbell5236 Před rokem +2

    I’ve tried every way. At first I was angry and then I’ve tried the nice sweet understanding way but he won’t budge on anything. So much so that I’m just talking to myself

  • @jdxx59
    @jdxx59 Před rokem +3

    I understand this to be more for recovery counsellor like yourself but for someone that has been hurt deeply by an addict it would be extremely difficult to do this. Counsellors/coaches don’t have their hearts involved. But a good framework to work with when conversing with the loved one.

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před rokem +1

      You're 100% right. It's VERY difficult to do this when it's your own family member.

  • @iridescent.fluorescence
    @iridescent.fluorescence Před 2 měsíci +1

    Your advice is seriously life-changing. Thank you, Amber!!

  • @laurieriek6444
    @laurieriek6444 Před 2 lety +4

    I have found by not pushing my opinions, and trying to fix my daughters drinking by giving suggestions and sending articles has helped our relationship. I now wait for her to open up or ask my opinion on a topic. I can now see glimpses of change. Thank u for your advice.

  • @csstudio3648
    @csstudio3648 Před 2 lety +5

    Thank you for this great video! Your approach is great and gives me alot of hope in approaching an important person in my life. I love your channel and have been binge watching. ❤

  • @sageoliver3255
    @sageoliver3255 Před 2 lety +2

    Wish you were writing a simple book mandatory for all counseling classes on addiction good talk for sure!

  • @christinedebarros6597
    @christinedebarros6597 Před 2 lety +3

    I learn something new from each video, thank you

  • @mellbell5236
    @mellbell5236 Před rokem +2

    Mine won’t even talk about anything at all. Lies and stays gone and then will act like he cares and is coming home but then stays out all night instead. I’m at my wits end. I just want to give up and move on at this point. It’s just too painful to stay in it.

  • @denayohe2377
    @denayohe2377 Před rokem +2

    So good. So helpful, Amber. Wish I'd heard this 15 years ago. But better late than never so I can pass it on to others!

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před rokem

      Thank you for your kind words, Dena! (and for helping spread the information!) 💖

  • @KH-vc6zo
    @KH-vc6zo Před 2 lety

    Our son has admitted he has an issue with opioids. We offered him treatment and he said he had some thinking to do. We’re waiting for him to make a decision. I’ve been watching your videos and they’re kept me from losing my mind. We’re praying hard for him. He’s days away from homelessness.

  • @vanessacreed1562
    @vanessacreed1562 Před rokem +1

    Addiction is so complicated. Just when I thought warning my husband that he will lose me and his family and our possessions created the opposite effect. He left 9 days ago and hasn't come back. Although, this is the third time he disappeared this year. I hope GOD shows mercy to those who have addiction and that the wrath of GOD be placed on those drug dealers.

  • @trueself520
    @trueself520 Před rokem +2

    So many good points. You are right, it is important to help make someone feel worthy or a better life to motivate them. If I am focusing on telling someone how much they are screwing up, I am just adding to them feeling UNworthy Just like the rest of us, that spark to do something to better ourselves and our lifes doesn't come during moments of hopelessness and self-ridicule, but when we get those moments of self-regard that allows us to feel that we do deserve better.

  • @indrachannels
    @indrachannels Před rokem +1

    thank you ! very helpful

  • @teresast8557
    @teresast8557 Před 6 dny

    I feel like this is good advice if you have enough emotional distance but close to impossible if you are a partner that is by definition very vulnerable and has been manipulated, hurt and gaslighted by the addict. I feel like we would just end up trying to manipulate each other and end up in this power struggle which is nearly impossible to win if you are the Partner because unlike the addict you have no magic substance to just turn off your emotions and act strategically

  • @aubraehersel7720
    @aubraehersel7720 Před rokem +1

    I try reflective listening, usually when he hears what he just said to me repeated back he gets intensely angry and defensive. I think it's because when he hears manipulative thing he just said to me, he realizes how screwed up it is and he tries to deflect attention off what he just said because he realizes how unbelievable it was and that I'm not falling for it. He uses anger a lot, but then switches to confusion. He said to me the other day he doesn't understand because he's "dimwitted" and "stupid" (poor me poor me 😒)
    He is very smart

    • @daisydayarts
      @daisydayarts Před 7 dny

      This happened to me too. Argued with their own words that I reflected back. It took an hour to get to the truth of one simple statement because they kept denying the very thing they had just said. They would re-state it. I would re-reflect it - verbatim! -, and they would deny again. It was nearly maddening. Gaslighting doesn’t sound so good reflected back, I guess. Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone. Heartbreaking though.

  • @audreythacker8084
    @audreythacker8084 Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks!

  • @samfrazer9092
    @samfrazer9092 Před 2 lety +3

    When I try those things, my husband thinks I’m acting fake and it starts a huge fight. I can’t win. 6 years with him and his first marriage ended the same way this one is.

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před 2 lety

      Hi Sam, have you seen my playlist on manipulation? If not, it might be helpful!

  • @tleemf6923
    @tleemf6923 Před 2 lety +1

    I just wanted the opportunity to say how much I loved your live I just watched which gave me no option to comment is addiction a disease or maral failing .....was so good .My don has schizophrenia and ocd and birn with FASD and with effects and withdrawls of birth moms anti phsycotic meds ...he was an athlete even on winter games team an artist and amazing drummer ..he has struggled with booze and weed off and on scince 12 .now 25 near 26 .has spent 3 months stabilizing in hospital after a police beatings dramatic injuries finally got him in hospital then a treatment / temp housing facility for 5.5 months ..was out for 5 days and used and is now near 2 months back into full blown psychosis and meth and booze addiction ..is violent and diligent and evicted from dads.will be arrested on a warrant today irctommorrow brought back to my town to await his hearing..I m praying they keep him atleast a week , to give him a fighting chance when he gets out .I will not likely never let him live with me again as I'm still reco dering from the 3 years of trauma he and my ex also now homeless and in active meth addiction on top of alcholizm. Both nati e with serious genetic trauma cultural distinctions.HUGE STUFF and yes I'm fully aware of my soul contracts with them with the addicts in my life scince mom married one when I was 4 . Can I PLEASE have folks input if I should get a restraining order on my don as I dont wNt him at my door endlessly ..and damaging my place when he cant get his way ...?

  • @denisethornton5982
    @denisethornton5982 Před 2 lety +2

    You are amazing

  • @cstarnes1349
    @cstarnes1349 Před 2 lety

    Hey Eric C - can you just look at it as one day at a time and not an entire lifetime. The only way to quit or change a habit is one day at a time, for real. Sometimes change is amazing - ask yourself, realistically - what is the worst that could happen if i don't drink today?By the way I see that you responded to Danielle - you seem to be a pretty compassionate person. That is a very special trait - to be so kind to someone else when you yourself are struggling!

  • @SunShine-xs7ig
    @SunShine-xs7ig Před 2 lety +3

    Hi Amber.i wanted to know if your husband is a narcissist and drug addict can you survive in this relationship?

    • @tinagaines7966
      @tinagaines7966 Před 2 lety

      I’m dealing with the same

    • @SunShine-xs7ig
      @SunShine-xs7ig Před 2 lety

      @@tinagaines7966 it's so tough dear.how do you manage dear.if you can plz give some suggestions

  • @aprilboden7219
    @aprilboden7219 Před 2 lety +2

    What are your thoughts on SMART friends and families vs. Alanon?

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před 2 lety +1

      I think both are good options. I encourage people to try all the options and decide what fits best.

  • @juliezuvela8865
    @juliezuvela8865 Před 6 měsíci

    Wow my addicted love one. Try these motivational tactics on me. Dam he is clever. 😀

  • @amyallen5785
    @amyallen5785 Před 2 lety +1

    Hi Amber. My AH admitted a few months ago he has a problem. He's trying to cut back, it's not going well. He drank daily. It was consistent for me. Now I only know when he's drinking if he comes home with it. He still drinks all weekend. How do I get him to see cutting back is not working and suggest trying something else?

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před 2 lety +2

      sounds like he's in the bargaining stage. Check out this video about the stages of change: czcams.com/video/GS6fdvkZL_0/video.html

  • @sarakelly7742
    @sarakelly7742 Před 2 lety +1

    Is there a video about what to do if your mother-in-law has an alcohol use disorder? What is my place as a daughter-in-law? And what is the best thing to do for my kids? I've watched all the videos about healthy boundaries but want to know how to integrate in the health and safety of my 5 month old twin girls.

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před 2 lety +1

      Hi Sara, I don't have a video specifically on what to do if you have an addicted mother in law. You definitely need to make sure your girls are safe!

    • @sarakelly7742
      @sarakelly7742 Před 2 lety

      @@PutTheShovelDown Thank you! Is it best for my husband to lead these efforts? Or should I be equal in having my voice heard on what we are doing? I want to make sure I don't disrupt the family dynamic more than it already is by her drinking. A lot of his family is still in denial with how bad it is, even with her neurological deficits that are apparent. I am actually a psychiatric epidemiologist and in particular study substance use disorders but this is my first time dealing with it in real life, if that makes sense. From what I've learned from you (you are awesome) is that we need to have boundaries but what if my husband and I are not on the same page with boundaries for his mother?

  • @jenmccain9567
    @jenmccain9567 Před 2 lety

    My son , he has been hearing and seeing things since he began using drugs as a teen he says … I’ve had. Him in rehabs and he had OD many times ( not intentionally but he is his own worse enemy ) . The delusions seem to improve when he gets away from drugs for some time but he is now stuck in an ongoing delusion that he has God like abilities and knows Vampires are real and it’s a whole world he has created in his mind … he has a child and he loves him but he is too delusional to be around anyone , he gets scary and he refuses to admit the drugs are doing any of it , it’s all real and drugs help him cope with what demons he hears etc … it gets insane , he held his hand out and said look there’s my son the other day .. He is homeless because everyone is scared of what he will do while we’re sleeping and he has blown up on all of us …. I’m in AL is there a way to force mental help ? He showed up on my porch at 2 am saying he would kill himself then calmed down , I told him to sleep on the back porch but I guess it rained at some point and he left … I just want my sweet kind son back .

  • @chrissyb1116
    @chrissyb1116 Před rokem

    How do I help my husband who knows he has a problem, goes to AA , says he wants to stop but has bad depression, self hate and has constant pain. He will need a hip replacement but they won't do it as he's too young and still mobile. Their words were they will wait to it's so bad n effecting his mobility alot. I believe it's all linked the pain, depression n he says drinking eases the pain and pain killers don't. He's on depression tablets but he keeps relapsing and I'm trying your techniques, talk him up but he can't see anything good. It's so hard to watch. Love your videos as I think they do help me in ways to approach but denial isn't the issue. It's this vicious circle xx

  • @nicolewestbrook8354
    @nicolewestbrook8354 Před rokem

    I don't want to lose myself and my relationship so how do I talked about it with our family members and friends justice for my crime that in denial from talk about to my friends I feel sad safety and around my drug since I was a 11years odd so what do I do

  • @savedbygrace777
    @savedbygrace777 Před rokem

    I have been married 45 years and nothing is working and actually feel there is brain damage from all the alcohol and only God knows what else.

  • @Cordula6
    @Cordula6 Před 2 lety +1

    🌷🌷

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  Před 2 lety +1

      😃

    • @Cordula6
      @Cordula6 Před 2 lety

      @@PutTheShovelDown This is quite an attachment topic. Including the addict's whole family. Tough force. Thank you very much again.

  • @LizaLavolta
    @LizaLavolta Před 2 lety +1

    It's interesting because a lot of what you said is what Jesus did. Which is why some of the most outcasted people loved and were loved by him.