Back to School Trans Tips w/ Chandler Wilson
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- čas přidán 25. 08. 2018
- Thinking about coming out or transitioning in high school? I spoke with Chandler Wilson about their experiences coming out as agender in high school. We talk tips for changing your name and pronouns with the school, navigating gendered uniforms, finding teachers you can trust, and more. Share this video with any of your trans friends who are going back to school soon and leave a comment with any tips or questions you have about being trans in school!
The Newly Friend Game video we did on Chandler's channel: • Newly Friend Game ft J...
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Resources for students:
www.glsen.org/students/tsr
www.transstudent.org/
transequality.org/know-your-r...
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Ask a Trans Guy, Episode One • Ask a Trans Guy « EPIS...
CIS GUYS DATING TRANS GUYS w/ Cody Melcher • CIS GUYS DATING TRANS ...
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Do you have more questions about transitioning in high school? Did you do it and have advice? Let's crowdsource the best advice in the comments!
My friend, who is a trans guy, came out to the school, although they said they could not change the name on his ID due to safety reasons. Whereas I am still questioning my gender and am too afraid to come out anyway. Especially to my parents
I personally came out last year i told my teachers because do it the first day its better so then its down my town is mostly democratic so i could chill be yes some discrimination did happen since i was since no one knew the year before i learned about and read the handbook at my school most of the things that i did not report but when i did i got imediate response yes sometimes teachers would mess up but they would correct themselves this year as a highschooler it sas more easy telling the teachers since only my class was there im my teachers are acepting since they have former students that were trans and have many teachers and staff who will vouch for me to be safe
What can you do if your friends are having a hard time with your new name and it makes you feel really bad but you don't want to say anything?
@@flynn9666 Just correct them. If they're really your friends, they wouldn't be mad at all and just be understanding
@@SP-ph5ws I did one time and my friend understood but the situation became very awkward, especially because we both have social anxiety
My school separated boys and girls for graduation w separate colored robes. My friends and I went to the principal to advocate against this, explaining the existence of NB people.
Our graduating year happened to be a big university, so it was an opportunity for the school to be like “were gonna have everyone wear gold robes in honor of the anniversary!” But my friends and I were like, hmm we seemed to have influenced this? Bc prior to our convo w the principal, there was no inkling of this change happening. So that was cool.
Idk if they went back to the old gender-segregated way though...
Ash Baker my school also does the gender segregated gowns! Boys wear blue and girls wear white, because those are our school colors. Girls are also required to wear dresses. Pants aren’t allowed. Its really dumb. My friend, Remy, actually had a big issue with the woman who handles the grad stuff. She made him walk in a dress and the white gown, even after he explained his situation to her. It sucked. Even the principal wouldn’t back him up.
@@macksthetigerchild3417 I would've just not walked the stage, they still have to mail you the diploma
We had gender segregated gowns, too. I remember seeing that there were two gown colors and getting very excited because I thought we got to choose! The connection to gender eluded me right up until I went to order my gown and there was only a column for gender and not color choice. I was not at all out, and not making these connections, but something felt very wrong about it even though I ended up with the color I wanted. I'm so glad you were able to advocate against the gendered gowns, they're nonsense.
*Random tip for afab individuals who are ftm, nb, or/+ wear a binder.*
If someone asks you "why is your chest flat"/"insert other variations" and you're not out or don't feel comfortable telling that person, tell them you're wearing a tight sports bra because you've been having back problems.
This has saved me multiple times and I hope it can help others too!💕
You are valid and you are loved.
Stay strong♥
Or just say you have a naturally flat chest, some girls do
Or ask them to stop staring at your chest because it's rude? If someone asks why your chest is flat, its pretty creepy
@@nylonsghost7938 it can be pretty noticable when someone who usually has a larger chest, suddenly has a flat chest
@@nylonsghost7938 they're probably not staring is what im saying
+Apathetic Skies
I agree if a random stranger is staring at your chest definitely ask them to stop / leave.
However, that wasn't really the situation I was talking about.
It's more about nosey teenagers or family.
They also don't have to stare directly at your chest to notice. For example if you hug someone.
Hope I cleared everything up.
Thanks for reading, have a great day!
I went to an all girls religious high school. And I'm a trans guy. Couldn't come out though cuz my principal found out and she was really lgbt-phobic and so were many kids in the school, she basically subtly threatened to kick me out if I talked about it in school. So I only told my closest friends in private. We had a dress code and I had to wear skirts. I had to be called by my birthname and birth pronouns. And although I had a couple of friends who accepted me, my family didn't. I was miserable. But I graduated this past year, and I'm finally going to present myself as I want to in college. My advice is, get through it. Find at least 1 person to be your support, be yourself around them, and follow the schools bullshit rules while possibly finding some loopholes or doing things they won't know about (like I wore boxers sometimes under my skirt). God luck! And know there are communities of people out there who care about you.
Mad Alic That sounds awful, I’d be unbearably miserable being forced to wear a skirt or a dress. 😳 I’m glad you made it through.
Haha yeah. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel (graduation and moving on) and focused on that tbh.
It's the opposite to me: Since when I started my transition at 12, Last year I entered High School with 13 years old, There was only one high school in my entire city that let me in and had no trouble with gender issues, It's an all girl school and they have been very welcoming, everyone is so nice to me and no one (barely two girls) make fun of me. My last year the first day was really upsetting beacuse they put a long list with all the girls and their respective classrooms IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL and tbh I wanted to scape I was scared because I saw my dead name and even more terrible My surname starts with A meaning All students had to get though my name to see theirs, This year in the school anniversary I want to fling a trans flag in the parade, Idk I have many friends support me and 3/4 of the school knows me and like I am very sociable and I always hang out with someone. There are this two girls from another class that stare at me or look at me with anger but I just don't care. I am lucky to have all I have and be who I am. If you are there and is scared of being who you are, you can't let someone let you down just because you are different. Everyone is different and we need to embrace our similarities. 💕❤️
I’m at an all girls school and I’m nb, all the other trans kids at my school have a group chat in solidarity of the fact that we aren’t girls at a girls school
I'm not even male (I'm agender) and I get dysphoric by even thinking about what it would be like to be forced to wear a skirt at school.
Tom Holland and Ed Sheeran
?
Lmao, yes!
Mmmmmm I'm dreaming of it
Omgg yes
I didn’t think scream laughing was possible for me to do but now I know.
One of my teachers had an LGBTQ safe zone magnet in her room, so I came out to her privately, and I wrote my preferred name on my papers for that class. She was also a science teacher, so she was always a good source for resources about hormones, binding, and just other stuff about how we develop gender identity. It helped me figure out more about myself and what I wanted for my transition.
Amazing.
I'm a trans guy and I'm currently in my junior year of high school. I came out as trans at the end of my freshman year. At first I came out as being non binary and I told people to use they/them pronouns, but I soon realized that I was more comfortable with he/him pronouns. I got my name changed on the roster and I told all my teachers about the fact that I'm trans either before class or during class. There were certain projects in school that I used to talk about trans things. I did that because nobody really said anything bad to my face about being trans so I felt comfortable talking about it and I wanted people to understand more about what being trans means. There was one teacher in particular who was extremely supportive of me being trans. He listened to my experiences and also talked about his experiences with being gay. It was really interesting (probably for both of us) to hear different perspectives on being LGBT.
My experience with being out in high school wasn't very negative, mostly because of the support of my teachers in friends, but I don't have much advice for people who don't have as much as support as I did.
I relate to a lot of this
you are so LUCKY! i would came out in my school if it weren't because my parents would most likely find out and they wouldn't accept it. so i'll just wait until i'm grown and not living with them anymore to come out as genderfluid
I don't know if this could be helpful for someone but this helped me this year.
Dear Professor [name],
My name is [Preferred name], and I will be attending your course [blank] on [days] at [time] this [term]. I am transgender and have not yet legally changed my name. On your roster is my legal name, [Legal name]. I would greatly appreciate it if you refer to me as [Preferred name] and use [pronouns] when referring to me. Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to starting your course next week.
Sincerely,
+
HECK YEAH
BLESS YOU THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED
@@elexel9391 Glad to help :)
Aye thank you so much for this. I’m going to a new school this year and this is helpful
A lot of teachers ive had in the begining of school have had students write on a note card their name on the roster and the name they wanna go by i think it started cause a lot of people have a nickname that they prefer to go by but its also great for trans students to be able to go by their name without it being a big thing
I am a non binary wheelchair user person who went to high school in the 90’s. I had to fight for my rights just to take gym class because I’m a wheelchair user. At the time I just thought I was a lesbian, but using girls bathrooms just felt weird to me. In a way I was lucky that the girls and boys bathrooms were not wheelchair accessible at my high school because I got to use the nurses office which was nice and not gendered. Ah the 90’s though lol. I feel like things for trans and non binary people might be getting slightly better these days cause back then, nobody even talked about trans and non binary people.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
My school has at least one all gender restroom! That's the good thing.
The bad thing is that it's on the second floor, and I only have one class there.
Ah, me too. Honestly sucks but i have a few teachers who'll write me passes for that bathroom
Same with mine, ours are next to the counselors office (so you have to go into the office to use them) and its on the opposite end of the campus from all but one of my classes
my school used to be an all girls school before i studied there, so the restrooms were never separated by gender, but now some restrooms are for boys and some are for girls and they're kinda far away from each other, so having a gender neutral bathroom is something that's not happening in my school anytime soon :/
Same, 2nd floor and on one end of my school. Plus not too long ago they locked it because of vaping.
i think my school does but i’m scared it doesn’t, i’m really not comfy going in the girls and scared to go in the boys
I'm starting to "closet transition" as me and my friends call it, aka cutting your hair, wearing more masc clothing, etc while still not being out to anyone (besides my one friend and the entire internet). any advice and doing such in a school that follows gender rules alot?
Alxxandrr I don't know the extent or your rules so I'll try my best. Wear a shirt that is a little big. I'm guessing that because you said you're not out you don't have a binder (I could be wrong). Wearing a tight sports bra and a bug shirt can cover the chest well. If you are allowed to wear pants do not wear right jeans! They will cling to you in a way you might not want them to. This next one is little but it goes a long way: wear a long sleeve shirt or sweatshirt (thise can be pretty gender neutral) but push up the sleeves so they come to about your elbow. Idk what it is but it tends to just make you look way more masc. If you take gym and have to use the girls locker room use the bathroom during that time so you don't have to deal with using the wrong bathroom more than once. When sitting at a desk don't sit up very straight. Lean back in your chair and keep your legs a bit apart. It's a pretty masc way to position your body, avoid crossing your legs or leaning forward with your shoulders a lot
To feel more masculine maybe wear cologne, boxers, masculine t-shirts, or HOODIES!!
SAME. i'm genderfluid, but tbh most of the time i feel more masculine or neutral. i've only came out to three people, two of wich are also lgbtq+. my family wouldn't accept it cause they're transphobic, it even took them some time to accept that i'm pansexual. i don't think they would take it well if they found out i'm not cis
This is perfect timing: my first day of high school starts tomorrow and I am out as nb!
Anoni Mouse hey just stopping by to say I love your profile picture! Voltron is the best!
Thanks! It really is!
Anoni Mouse np:) my soccer team is called the Red Lions and I died a little when I found out that would be the name
That is *wonderful*.
Anoni Mouse right!
I feel like this may be a really obvious tip when transitioning in high school, but...if you're going to introduce yourself with a new name, make sure you can stick with that name for as long as you are in high school. Depending on how accepting/understanding friends and staff are of the community, it can be really confusing and a little stressful for both yourself and them. Usually you hear stories of how trans or nonbinary folks found their name and it just clicked, but it can still be a difficult part of your transition. I tried to find a name that fit, but now I have three different names people currently know me as and a few other names I introduced but never decided on. Make. Sure. You. Can. Stick. With. That. Name.
I didnt come out as trans in high school but I did actively use a prefered name and at my school at least we could go to the office and have a prefered name listed on the attendence which just makes the whole name correction process smoother if it’s available to you
Mel Dufrene I wonder if my school would let me do this? They did this thing where you could get a preferred name put into the yearbook which was cool (and entirely for students who go by nicknames but hey it benefitted me), and maybe they'd be cool with it if I asked? Idk that's an exciting thought
This is gay
I love it
Also Chandler how is your voice that cute
I am a trans guy and recently I texted one of the teachers from the school I'm going to attend and told him that I'm trans and everything and the that I wish the teachers and the school workers called me by my preferred name and the pronouns and he accepted me and understood many things and knew so much about being trans and told me that trans people aren't anything weird or something and I was just so happy, in 5 days I am starting school and I'm going to have a talk with the school psychologist and I'm just so happy to finally be called by my preferred name and pronouns
this is the best feeling ever, for the first time in forever I'm going to be truly happy about going to school and just being myself
I’m non binary and going into my senior year, I’m just starting to transition in school and this video was so helpful! Thank you so much!!
Im 15 im starting my softmore year and i am president of our GSA and our school just remodeled so we should have unisex bathrooms i don't know yet because school starts on wednesday. But that is what our club fought for and i don't have gym this year and honestly that relieves so much dysphoria.. It is way too hard to put on a binder after gym and during gym having your chest out and bouncing is so mentally hard .
sorry hi can I make a minor correction?
it's spelled sophomore.
I don't mean to be annoying :)
I'm 15 and I am a trans girl, this is my story: Since when I started my transition at 12, Last year I entered High School with 13 years old, There was only one high school in my entire city that let me in and had no trouble with gender issues, It's an all girl school and they have been very welcoming (the uniform is by default a skirt a blouse, thoughts and a blazer but you can wear pants, jackets or whatever) everyone was nice to me and no one (barely two girls) make fun of me. My last year the first day was really upsetting beacuse they put a long list with all the girls and their respective classrooms IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL and tbh I wanted to scape I was scared because I saw my dead name and even more terrible My surname starts with A meaning All students had to get though my name to see theirs, This year in the school anniversary I want to fling a trans flag in the parade, Idk I have many friends support me and 3/4 of the school knows me and like I am very sociable and I always hang out with someone. There are this two girls from another class that stare at me or look at me with anger but I just don't care. I am lucky to have all I have and be who I am. If you are there and is scared of being who you are, you can't let someone let you down just because you are different. Everyone is different and we need to embrace our similarities. 💕❤️
I just want to say, youre so strong and im so proud of you. I know its harder for girls to come out than guys, because you were raised with the stereotype and forced masculinity and all that, so coming out takes a lot of courage that I cant fathom as an afab, especially at an all girls school, so that's amazing. I hope all goes well for you and that you dont experience too many transphobes. You're beautiful, inspiring, and deserve lots of love 💖💖💖💖
Captions coming as soon as I finish them! Hopefully within the hour 🙌
UPDATE: English captions are up!
honestly thank you so much , as someone who is trans and watches your content and as someone who is hard of hearing this is greatly appreciated
Happy *Pack* to School 💁💕
Ba-dum-tsss!
Yeet
This year's gonna be my last high school year, in a new school, and the first year being out as trans. Please wish me luck !
Awesome video!
I’m currently transitioning in college and I’m partially stealth so it’s pretty crazy. I haven’t even told my old roommate of 2 yrs and I’ve been on T for 10 months lmao.
This vid was a good reminder too, I emailed my profs while watching it, and I start class tomorrow, so thanks for the reminder!!
I think me not realising I'm trans in school was self protection!
God I needed this so much thank you so so so much! I’m still trying to find my gender identity and I’m testing some things out ! Thank you for this
I am too. I'm afab and I'm experimenting with the labels demigirl, gender neutral/neutrois, and androgyne. What's your experience/advice. I am stuck between female and androgynous. I know I definitely don't identify as male.
Industrial Alliance I’m having a lot of trouble honestly. But I am trying out Demiboy and transgender and non-Binary. I have disphoria though and that’s what makes me transgender
How do you remind your friends to use your preferred pronouns without seeming pushy?
I think this is a scenario in which it is okay to be pushy, pronouns can be very important to people and others should respect that. But if you really don’t want to seem pushy, maybe try gently reminding them with phrases and things in which you refer to yourself using your preferred pronouns or gender. Or you could try sitting them down to talk about if they are continuously using the wrong pronouns. If they still keep doing it a lot (or on purpose), I suggest getting new friends. I hope I could help!
you gotta be pushy if you really want people to use the right pronouns. it took years for me and whenever someone misgenders me i point it out so they can correct it.
I don't think it's pushy to just gently correct them - like "so I said to her-" "them" "oh right yeah sorry, so I said to them..." That's kind of how it tends to go when I pluck up the courage to say something
I just tried not to respond to people or friends using the wrong name and pronouns. Pretend you're spaced out and don't come back to the present untill they say the right one
Just slide in with your perfered name. If they're "Hey! *Birth name*!" You could respond quickly with your preferred name and continue on like it wasn't a big deal
It’s my first year at college and I’ve had an almost completely positive experience. Some advice:
-Send an email to professors
-If your school has a place to put your preferred name, do it!
-Make Friends who are also trans and/or nonbinary.
This is amazing! When I was in high school (during the late 2000s) being trans wasn’t even a topic folks knew. If I had known I would’ve come out sooner. Now kids are coming out and it’s great! We’ve come pretty far since then even tho there are still things to be done.
I highly recommend looking up your states laws especially if you’re in public school trump has been rolling back a lot of directives (including the directive on trans youth in public schools) however a lot of states still have their own legislation in place so know your rights!!! I went to private school but being able to site the literal law definitely helped my case in terms of adding validity. If you have a parent to back you up most times schools will cave in to you I know that isn’t the case for everyone (it certainly wasn’t for me) but if you can get your parents involved it makes a big difference.
I love you both and I usually watch this specific video to make myself feel better when I’m down, because watching people understanding, respecting and feeling things for each other just gives me the sense of safety and hope
TOM HOLLAND
What? Why?
I really needed this, thank you!! It’s great to know that I’m not the only one who feels awkward when coming out to teachers
This video was great.
In about 7 hours I'm starting my fist full schoolday with my new name.
The video helped with some of my anxiety.
Thank you sooo much.
i know this is an old video but this helped sooo much and it’s so cool to see all the people in the comments helping out other people and giving them tips and idk it’s just so pure and how the world should be
I slowly transitioned in hs. My freshman year I cut my hair before school and came out to my parents and close friends. My sophomore year I told everyone about my new name and let them get used to it, and came out to all my teachers who subtly used my pronouns without drawing too much attention to it. Then my junior year I came out to my peers who I hadnt already told. It was easier to remember one step at a time and the first year at home allowed me to get used to my new name. It also allowed my peers to really think about it and grow to respect me as a person.
thank u so so much for making this video. as a trans girl who's been out since my freshman year of high school, these last few years have been good but I definitely share a LOT of those experiences both of u talked about! Shockingly, I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere (seriously) and my coming out experience was really positive, majority of my teachers are alright and I've experienced hardly any bullying or harassment. I'm still really shocked by this and I hope it carries into college. Shedding light on transitioning in highschool is so important to lots of trans kids w/out the proper resources to know that they're completely normal and nothing is "wrong" w/ them for being trans. Thank you! ♥️
I relate to the scene alternative phase...now...tbh
Edit: Someone showed me love! Oml I'm liked by a being! Twice! This happened on Chandler's video! Hehehe god Imma child I'm not ready to adult.
Oh wow I haven’t seen any of Chandlers videos since they were pre t and can I just say that wow their voice has changed so much and it sounds so coooool
Two years later and it’s still helpful 😌
This is such great advice for me. I'm a freshman in highschool. Thanks so much. This is great :D
Im in my last year of middle school and im FTM. I have not come out to anyone. I came out to my friend as genderfluid cause i thought i might be because i still have female things i go through, like the way i act, the way i think, all of it is very feminine and at the time, there were days i felt female but now im 100% sure im trans. My dysphoria makes me act up and since i started feeling dysphoric, i cried more often. I still act very feminine, but every one is unique. Plus, there are straight cis males in my school that act very feminine. I dont know how to come out because i have a straight bf and i dont like hurting people. I dont want to break up with him and hurt him. I dont want to tell him im trans because i want to come out to my friends first but i plan to do that when im 18 and im legally allowed to live on my own. That comes in a while
This is definitely something I needed in my life.
The "I don't know, but something is not adding up" Is me! I am also trans ftm
I feel like it's easier to find chill teachers than chill students to talk to about trans shit, at least at my school. bc teachers are usually more mature and they don't goss to students about it. the teachers at my school, not sure about others, really care about their students' wellbeing and stuff as well so most of them seem pretty keen to listen which is great. also, deans are really great people to notify about your trans stuff bc they have authority but also, they're not too high up that you feel like you're wasting their time and they're not too scary lmao.
also, does anyone have advice for coming out to the wider community? I've come out to close family, friends, and teachers now but idk how I'm going to go about coming out to everyone else and I feel like I'm reading to but just how??
I’m in high school as an afab, greygender, n-b, and pansexual human, who is only out to close friends, does anyone have tips for managing pronoun based dysphoria? (I use they/them pronouns) Most people think I do not exsist (gender wise) and it is rather difficult.
They/them pronouns have been made official by the big English language association or whoever so you could search obline and screenshot the official definition for they/them as pronouns. And pronoun pins/tags are always a good reminder.
if you can't/don't want to come out at this time I've found that it can help to pretend you're undercover or something. They can't know your real name or pronouns cause that could ruin your mission to destroy the cis-tem lol
So I am still in the "process" of coming out at school and home but for the few friends that do know. A tip that I have is that if you have time pull your friends or teachers aside before class or school started that day(s) and talk to them about it. It has helped me in some ways and is also helping remove pressure of coming out.
this video helped me so much since im just starting to come out to my school.
Thanks I needed this so bad! 😊
My friend and I are having a big problem with our school district. In the rules it clearly states that bullying will not be tolerated but when I filled out a report I was told that those kids were just being curious. How can having people call you homophobic and transphobic things be curious. Also in the rules it states that saying things like gay, lesbian, queer ect. are forms of sexual harassment. So lets say I want to come out to my friends, I’m not aloud to say that I’m gay or queer or something along those lines. Anyway I just needed to vent so thank you for being there. I love your videos and hope to be like you some day.
Actually I came out in middle school and have been transition since (started hrt in 8th grade, top surgery in 9th grade) and I came out in 7th grade. The biggest thing is 100% having some kind of education administrator being on your side, it will make a huge difference especially with bathrooms locker rooms sports uniforms etc., if your school is particularly good they will change your name and gender in the school database to remove the awkwardness of explaining to all of your teachers. Have of my teachers this year had no idea I'm trans, and those that did I had told in my own confidence. Always be safe and cautious in coming out, and I recommend a self defense class and/or having someone with you when going to secluded places in school to stay safe, you never know if someone will be violent or not. Safety first.
Yay two awesome youtubers I love you both
I just randomly yell “I’m a mAn” at ppl and whoever accepts me accepts me 😅 I love how some ppl see “Vincent “ on my paper and call me as such. It makes me so happy and I am honestly really lucky 💕💕💕 Ik it’s probably difficult for a lot of ppl, but I hope y’all get as accepted as me and stuff! Y’all r awesome and don’t let anyone tel ya otherwise!!
omg i didn't think of the letter thing thats so good
This ahs been incredibly helpful. My last school year, I was at a new school because of weather issues. It was way easier because no one new me and the teachers went along with the names. But now I'm back at my old school. I've never found them to be judgmental and even was exposed to the name a little before we moved. But I'm sure not all kids are gonna be accepting and I'm worried that the teachers aren't gonna respond well. There is also a worry of kids being comfortable. The teachers are gonna start with Liam but the kids in my grade have been using my old name for years. It just seem like it's gonna worry some people.
A good support system and find those who validate you.
Happy belated Birthday Chandler.
thank you!
I have just come back to school and it’s been 8 days since being out at school and it was surprisingly good. I’ve had hella weird (invasive) questions and a lot of confusion with a lot of people but their reaction was unexpectedly generally kind. Just thought I’d share this to show we truly are progressing in our society and that the most unlikely people can surprise you😊
The smiles though there so very [a positive adverb because im not finna disrespect the one person that makes me feel like im not alone]
thank you so much!!!
I´m going bakc to highschool after a gap year nice advice =)
if you aren’t comfortable using the male/female bathrooms and/or lockerrooms in your school ask to use teacher bathrooms or the bathroom in the nurses office or if there are any gender neutral bathrooms/lockerrooms use those
I came out last year in my Sophomore year and when my counselor and the special ed teacher found out they put together a GSA. Not long after me my friend Jessica came out as trans female. I look out for her and do everything I can to make sure she's comfortable and happy as she can be. I tried coming out in 7th grade but kids were so mean to me I went back in the closet. Now I've been out of the closet for a whole year and can't wait to keep pushing forward. My bit of advice is don't be afraid to correct people and stand your ground. Not everyone will understand what you're going through and question you but don't let their questions bug you or throw you off even if they're really stupid questions.
love this video chandler is hilarious
This is too wholesome I cannot
OKAY SO there was this one teacher in my seventh grade social studies class who was like, THE BEST. He was more of a fun, but straight-forward kinda guy who made everything we worked on connected in a way that was fun and easy to remember BUT the best thing in my opinion was he called everyone that didnt like specify their pronouns by they/them/theirs which was like THE BEST bc i was questioning and was too shy to say anything :D
thank you Mr. green :))))
but i hope he dosnt see this lol bc i have to see him next year and idk if he can tell who this is just by the way i talk sooo yeaaaaaaa
Im nonbinary, and i recently changed my name at school and at home. My mom is extremely accepting and I'm thankful for her every day, last week we got my name in the school records changed officially, so my school email, my name on the roll sheets, etc. Are all the right name. When i told my English teacher, he asked me about my pronouns. He asked if I wanted to go by he or they and that touched me so dearly. Hes this 50 something year old man, so to have him be so accepting almost made me cry from happiness
Also my English teacher VOLUNTEERED to call me they, take that you nbphobic assholes who refuse to call singular people they!!!
With the changing room thing for gym classes my boyfriend who is trans got with the schools guidance councilors or someone so he could use the nurses bathroom instead of the girls locker room.
Starting high school next year. These actually helped! Any tips for going stealth for a year?
I'm a trans guy heading into my last year of high school, and I want to come out at school. Not sure about at home-my parents are kinda tansphobic but I'm so sick of hiding might just say screw it and go for it-but that's neither here nor there. Does anybody have advice about coming out at a small school? I live in a farm town with school of about 400 people total, so secrets are basically impossible. Any pointers?
Me: this is great advice!
Also me: *remembers I go to a Catholic school*
I’m going into high school in a few days. I’m scared, but I’m happy because I was closeted throughout middle school. And now I can be who I want to be
I’m 14 and my state will not let me get hormones until I’m 16 and top surgery until 6 months after
4:56 man that killed me.i wheezed so loudly everyone on the bus started at me.
I changed my name to my birth name initials (K.C) and used they/them pronouns in grade 9. Then in grade 10 I started being called Ki then later in the year he/ him pronouns. Now I'm wanting to change my name to Asher (I'm in grade 12) and I'm on Testosterone.
I have only come out to my internet friends, my boyfriend (who is also trans) and two of my best friends who are trying to get used to by my chosen name. I want to definitely start college as who I am so this helped me loads.
a tip for dealing with name dysphoria is
my school would give us a sheet of paper that had Our name, our gender, locker number, student number, class schedule, the room our classes were & the picture they would use if you went missing.
I would Cross out my name, gender & picture & rewrite, in pen my preferred name & gender
also some classes gave us folders with our names on them, I would tear off the part of the folder with my name on it & write my preferred name below the tear.
hope this helps anyone & to all my fellow trans guys, stay handsome!
Thanks for this, I’m in school right now and it’s hard af
this kind of helps me.. and i say kind of because i'm socially transitioning while still in college lol as soon as i know i'm added to the class(es) i need this week.. i'm going to email my professor(s) about having them call me by my preferred name
OMG THANK YOU TWO FOR MAKING A VIDEO TOGETHER. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! IM SO GLAD
ive just recently come out as nb at school and surprisingly all my teachers were really cool about it, it was so refreshing. Its just the more ignorant kids in my school that have a problem with it and they don't really say anything to my face its usually just complaining to teachers or friends about me which sucks
In toronto, you can ask for your name to be changed in the attendance
I feel so trapped. Im starting highschool soon and I really want to start looking more masculine or neutral but my parents think non binary isn't a thing and im only out to online friends and my best friend but Idk what to do because I hate myself so much. Aaaahh. Im kinda dying.
I can’t believe Tom Holland and Ed Sheeran did a CZcams collab!
I am attempting to come out as trans in middle school before I have to take gym class and decided what changing room to use
Currently in the process of going through (mostly social) transition in high school, and tip!! Some teachers will not care enough! They will fight you about gender and sex, and they are not worth the fight! The teachers that try and do use your correct pronouns and preferred name are the teachers that matter! I have teachers that care a lot about me and they correct themselves when they mess up!
(Also a tip/story- I waited to say anything my first year in high school to see if I could grow a repartee with some teacher before coming out to them. One of my teachers knew my name only because I forgot that I hadn't started writing it on his assignments in class yet! Tip! When you've come out, if a teacher makes a mistake, correct them! It doesn't matter if it annoys them because eventually they will get over themselves and just start using the right one just so they don't have to deal with you interrupting! If you're feeling dysphoric, and the nurse is chill, and you need to use the bathroom, go to the nurse for it! Most nurse offices have family bathrooms! Nobody notices if you pack so long as you don't look like you've got a hard on! Nobody notices if you bind! Nobody notices if your bulge suddenly disappears! Nobody cares if you suddenly decide to change your hairstyle, but they might ask where you got it done! Good luck and I love all of you!)
being out to half the teachers but not the other half is a big mood... i wrote all my teachers an email at midnight before school started this year about what my name is and such but i was too chicken to send it and i fell asleep while writing it as well so like that didn't happen. and honestly i shouldn't have put it off that long because now i'm stuck only being gendered or named correctly in two out of five classes because those were the only ones that asked for names and pronouns. and it's even more infuriating because i did briefly talk to the counselor about this and she said she would email all my other teachers but it's been 2 and a half weeks and she still hasn't done it..... so i'm stuck in purgatory.
So i came out a bit over a year ago after the summer holidays to my class. Advice here if you can tell your teacher beforehand do it. I did this before the holidays started so around 6 weeks before i came out and he sorted everything out for me such as telling other teachers/ correct name on the list. Also tell the teacher who might be able to help you most first. My classteacher is gay so he kinda understands were i come from and did not only asked if i need help when coming out after the holidays he also asked me a few weeks after coming out how my class interacts and told me that i can always ask him for help.
I went to an 'all girls' school there was 2 other trans guys in my year but I didn't want anyone to think I was copying. Next year I'm staying on but the sixth form is co-ed so I might try and quietly express who I am until I have the courage to tell my parents.
Learned through experience: if you let your school no that you're not out to your parents, they legally can not out you to them. (In the US, idk about other countries)
love and solidarity :)
I started questioning my gender and came out to a few friends my freshman year of high school. I fortunately live in a state with very explicit trans protection laws so I was able to change my name in the system my sophomore year (and then again at the beginning of junior year). I was able to talk to my counselor and get her to help me figure out how to change my name (there was a spot on our forms for preferred name if you wanted to go by a nickname or anything other than you legal name). I started testosterone near the end of junior year and after than it got easier with things like PE and bathrooms because they didn't really have any excuse to force me into the girl category.
I also helped change the school's policy on trans people in gender segregated activities because I was in choir all four years and for the lower level choirs there were separate mens and womens groups. I tried to join the men's group my sophomore year when I came out and they wouldn't let me because I was pre-T, but my senior year they let me join (once I was on T) but then partway through the year they let another trans guy who was pre-T switch from the womens group to the mens.
If anyone has any questions about coming out/transitioning in high school feel free to reply or message me on tumblr (@frnkiequinn)!
i socially transitioned in high school and i relate to Chandler's story so much - i came out in the 10th grade to my friends, and it wasn't until the end of my 11th grade that i specifically asked my teachers to call me by my name and pronouns (students, teachers, everyone - apart from my friends - was very iffy on pronouns as well). i asked the teachers i wasn't as comfortable with to call me by my last name. it was a weird experience but at least i wasn't being deadnamed
bathrooms were hell for me and my other trans and nonbinary friends, and it wasn't until the end of the 12th grade that we finally got our school to add gender-neutral bathrooms. we didn't get to use them of course, because we graduated right as the school was working on installing them lol but at least they're there for future trans and nonbinary students
I was never out in high school. But, I graduated from college a few months ago, and my university actually has places both in blackboard and in the class registration system where you can change your name. You can even change your email display name with IT without having a legal name change done. Some of this you can just do on your own, and you never have to out yourself to anyone, including professors. I know for the email display name, I had to go through my university's LGBTQ center to get the correct contact into. So I can't speak for high school, but I legit never had to out myself to any professor even though I transitioned partway through. Even the professors I'd had previously before coming out, I just sent a quick email to saying I'd changed my name. I never mentioned any gender stuff, and they were all 100% fine with it and didn't question it. I was a TA for one class and I had someone change their name because they were getting divorced, people change their names for varieties of reasons and you DO NOT have to explain why!! Just to put that there. You can simply say you changed your name. You don't owe anybody an explanation and you don't have to out yourself as trans to do so.
Also, I had a student job on campus and when I changed my name with my supervisor, again, different protections in place for job security, but I also didn't explain anything. I just sent him a quick email saying to refer to me as X, and he HAD to go with it because it was discriminatory not to. He didn't know how to get anything changed in our payroll system, so I had to go through HR for that once the legal name change was done, but the great thing about working at a university when in school is that they do actually have protections in place for stuff, unlike most work places.
I also took a couple of classes at a community college, and it took me complaining to their Title IX office (since they had no LGBTQ center) to get my name on everything changed, since their settings wouldn't allow you to change your email or blackboard display name. I explained to them that having to out myself to professors and see my legal name everywhere created an unsafe and hostile environment (that's the term you generally want to use) for me, and they needed to change it. It worked.
Title IX is iffy now due to Trump and some other stuff, but most schools even if they don't have an LGBTQ center might still have an officer for that, and you can approach them as well.
I'm only out as trans to a very few of my friends. (three of them). One of them calls me by my preferred name and pronouns when others won't hear us. One of my other friends calls me by a nickname and kinda avoids using pronouns at all. I love them so much!
10:41 Chandler is me the middle of my 10th grade year when I was dealing with identifying as a masculine enby, and thinking about the possibility of being a trans man
if your doing online school i know on a chromebook you can install a deadname remover os anytime it sees your birth name
anywhere i will automatically change to the name you put in
I emailed my counselor the day before high school sophomore year, she switched my classes around so I wouldn’t intervene with kids who would bully me and changed my name, I’ve actually changed my name twice because the first tome I rushed it and wanted something more masc, my teachers are understanding and don’t call on me in class and respected my choice to not work in groups, I don’t have any friends at all I don’t eat lunch in the cafeteria, I eat it in the counselor conference room, I pass visually but with my voice I don’t, I’ve been really depressed cause my mom said I can’t start t till summer because someone told her that you can get sick but whenever I’m really sick I still get sent to school but she also keeps changing her mind on if she accepts me or not and honestly I’m slowly losing hope and have no clue what to do.
I came out in high school on my instagram story, I’m 14 and in scotland. I told the school to change my name on the register and its fine 👍🏻
COME ON TOUR TO SEATTLE
Also if u ask the guidence councilor they can change ur name on the attendence.