Not gonna lie, this made me cry. As an artist myself I also often get sucked into this mindset of art being useless, but it still is a part of me - literally. This video made me realise how much art is important to me, so thank you
I'm a university student, trying to get out to make manga. You have no idea how many times they ask me this. I'm scared they might not let me. Never fall in love with art, ever. It like a curse and yet a blessing. I almost cried
Bro, the part where you said "I can't enjoy any piece of media any more without analyzing it and dissecting and letting it affect how I make art" hit SO HARD. Making art is so painfully consuming and isolating sometimes but lately I've felt so much connection and comfort from other artists expressing the same feelings. Imposter syndrome, loneliness, being hard on ourselves. Like I said, it's consuming. Thanks for sharing this video. I need to go re-read look back.
Yeah, it's easier to appreciate an artist when you don't see them as a rival. But it can also improve your viewing experience, you notice a lot more about a piece of work than a person who doesn't do art. I love watching anime and cartoons because every single one has such unique animation and ways of telling the story which is not really that present in traditional movies, while my parents just see them all as cartoons and laugh at me for watching them.
As a Japanese, when I read this manga , I was as moved as I was by this video, but at the same time I was reminded of the Kyoto Animation arson case. The criminal also committed the crime with the absurd motive that his work was stolen. I imagine that the artist also continued to ask the question, "Why do I still draw?
This is why finding friends interested in art as an artist is so, so very important. Its far too easy to become a hermit crab and just slave away for some ephemeral goal that may never come but if you have help, or even just someone tlin your corner to encourage you it changes so much.
@@noahmcalister I've been in similar place and I know I'm not alone in that regard. It's true that you: a. have to be dedicated to the art that you're making, b. have to work hard to improve your craft (which means sacrificing time and energy spent elsewhere), and c. have to ignore the trolls and "well-meaning" friends and family. When they talk about "suffering for your art," those are just the opening salvos.
There's an obsession with art that can make you resent people/creators you once looked up to. You start to wonder "how did they get so good? Are they cheating? What do they know that I don't? Am I really that bad of an artist?" I have thoughts like these constantly, and it's hard to change that mentality because on one hand, it is simpler to just think you're terrible. That there's this thing you lack that someone else has, that it's easier to just raise up your hands and go "well, that's just the way it is," and stop trying. But for me, the desire to create, even if it's nothing special, is so strong, I can't stop. Even if I hate it, even if I hate myself, there's something that keeps me going. That something isn't for anyone else, it might just be my own desire to be better. But reading this story, it made me realize how much I wish I had someone like Kyomoto in my life. I'm lucky enough to have people who support what I do, but none of them are artists. None of them really understand what it's like. I want to have someone the same as me, who understands everything. Who can relate to the pain and joy. And while I may never meet that person in real life, it's comforting to know they are at least out there. I think this one shot is one of the most accurate portrayals of what it's like to be someone who draws. I can absolutely relate to Fujino, having an ego when I was younger, realizing I wasn't that good, grinding and failing to be better, wondering why I even bother to keep going. It's not glamorous, it's ugly and even kind of pathetic at times. But, I want to keep going. I don't want to stop. Ever.
Your videos stopped me from committing suicide. Or more so after I attempted I sat down and found your videos, I loved them. Every day I would check for a new video, I loved when you talked about art and u would look forward to these, I still do. I cannot understand people criticizing you, to me you are amazing, another level. This might sound parasocial but I love you.
Suicidal Depression isn't an easy thing, sorry to hear that. It helped me to take things hour by hour... I got told all the time to "do it day by day", but days are far too long and nebulous for me when I'm feeling particularly terrible. If I take it hour by hour, the goal is much smaller and far more manageable.
Hey there, I hope you're doing okay. I'm really happy my videos have helped you. It's one of those things where it's just wild for me to hear that, just because I can remember whatever I was experiencing when I made almost every video, so it's crazy for me to hear others' reactions, especially when the videos have helped. Life is hard, but I've found strength in making vids and I'm glad they've seemed to help others. It means a lot and I feel like I can't properly express my feelings in words, so I'll say this. I hope you're doing okay, friend I wish you absolutely nothing but the best
As a strangers on the internet. I wish everything will be alright for you and life is a precious thing. I don't think Suicide is worth taking it away. ;) take care man
Human connection really does drive inspiration and work, for those days that you'll laugh, Talk, and smile with them ... this video essay was amazing, I think I'll get back to driving myself towards a future like that
oh i love this. it really hits hard that art is extremely difficult and unglamourous and "useless" when we'd be nowhere without art, you said it super well ^_^
This video essay nearly brought me to tears. My biological dad is an artist and a damn good one at that. He abandoned my mom while she was pregnant with me and we ceased all contact with him. He was probably not a good person but he was an artist, and I am too. I sometimes find myself stalking his Facebook to peek at his artworks. If I could choose I wouldn't even want to be associated with art in any way because of him. I don't like art, it's hard and boring and tedious but I still come back to it. I'm not even that good at it because I delay my progress using excuses. I get so embarrassed whenever my mom sees me drawing, trying to be half of what the person that betrayed her was - a really good artist. And then there's the business where I pretend to hate it when people compliment my work because that means I'm starting to become the person that I dislike the most. But secretly I appreciate it when people appreciate my work. When they say "oh wow that's really good" I get so happy and proud of what I made. Maybe I would've enjoyed art more had that artist not been my father.
sorry to comment i don’t wanna appear nosy but i think it’s great you seem to have an interest in art, i understand regarding your father you find it difficult to do art ^^ but your father doesn’t define you or your art and i know it may be more obvious said than to believe and im sure your mom understands that too ^^ you don’t have to feel guilty, ^^ also sorry if im saying stuff you already know but good luck with your art journey 🙏🍀
one art teacher i trusted in art school called my work low quality compared to the rest of the class. Still haunts me to this day and gives me impostor syndrome to destructive lvls but in same time i don't want to give up because of that. i still feel like i need to continue to win my "no, you're wrong" against the demon of my insecurities.
I have a similar evil villain backstory lol. Yeah, I think that's the best you can do, push on and succeed despite what someone else may have said. Though hopefully, along the way, we're able to find positive, less vindictive reasons for continuing lol
@@noahmcalister I don't want vindictive reasons to keep continuing. i want to prove that 1diot who planted the seed of doubt that he was wrong. each time i wanted to show him what i could he would shut me down without even hearing what i had to say because maybe there would have been something good that he could have helped me with. Before that uppity individual i had a different and positive approach to art and i want to regain it without being haunted by the words of some snob praised around because he had opportunities.
It’s upsetting how often you hear a story of somebody in school being told that there art is bad, especially because it’s an institute of learning. a teacher has so much sway and it’s upsetting that they abuse it to put students down.
I've stopped making art for the past year because life got in the way, so what you said about how it's much harder to stop and start than continually taking steps (whether or not there's tangible progress) really resonated with me. Maybe it's time for me to finally get back into drawing...your video made me realize how much I've missed just that process of creation
Yeah, I mean, my question when deciding what to do is always, what better thing could I be doing? Bc for me, if I don't make something, I'll just waste time online. So while creation is hard, the alternative is nothing good. So idk if that'll help you, but that's my mindset Hoping you can get into the groove of creating once more, if that's your desire. Wishing you the best
I was stucked on a wiriting block for an year, when joking with a new firend that I make about the things she likes to read I said "you should read good stuff like my book", so she agreed and I gave to her a pdf with half of the story since I didnt finished it yet. Seeing her reactions and talking with her about the story made me put my head 100% on finishing it. My writing process doesnt make any sense, I dont feel that everything I am doing is perfect and there are flawsI have 0 idea how to overcome. Yet, seeing everything I already wrote and saying "damn, I did this, I thought about it and I made it work, and someone liked" makes me want to do more and more. Perfect analysis, hope everyone here becomes a great artist
I'm kinda experiencing something similar. I started a novel almost a year ago and have been sending it out to friends, and them asking "when are new chapters coming?" is a major reason why I've gotten so far into it. I think I'm like 90k words in or something, and I'm closer to the end than I realize, I think. So having people hold you accountable always helps haha And thank you for the kind words!
A few months ago I tried to kill myself because of a hobby. That hobby being drawing. I wanted to be known in the art community, I wanted to inspire people, I wanted to be someone’s favorite artist. My art isn’t good at all, at least to me. I know I can do better. But whenever I draw, the thoughts of “there’s better artists out there” “you suck at drawing” stay in my head, I can’t finish my drawings because of that. But if I don’t draw I can’t get better. I want to be the best or I won’t be satisfied with myself. I wish I could stop making a hobby into a petty competition. I stopped drawing recently, it’s become absolutely unenjoyable for me and it’s unhealthy to continue. I hope I can find my passion again in the future.
Im so sorry to hear that, its definitely more than just art block but i have a recommendation. If youre drawing and your art looks bad, take a break from it. Maybe 30 mins to an hour. Once you come back to it, it should look better. Your eyes start to spot flaws or even make up flaws if it stares at something for too long. ^^
Hey there, sorry to hear about your struggles. I've struggled with that feeling of wanting to be the best, especially with writing and storytelling. One thing that helped break this attitude was that I realized there wasn't a number 1 best. Like, there's a tier of artists and writers and creators I like, and I have a favorite band, but if you asked me who the best writer is, I couldn't give you a confident answer. There are a lot of greats and what makes them great is their own style. Of course there's garbage masquerading as greatness, but I can't say who the number 1 writer is, bc it's dependent upon your taste. All that to say, I dont think that there's a no. 1 perfect creator and there's room for many great creators, and there's room for those aspiring ones, including you or me. I feel weird suggesting my own videos, I always feel weird, but I can't sum up my thoughts in a comment the way that I did in a video. So, feeling weirdness aside, can I recommend the video I did back in November, I think, where I was dressed like a vampire. It was called something like You Can Only Make Imperfect Things or Nothing. Essentially, nothing you make will be perfect, which is a difficult pill to swallow, but it's freeing when you realize and accept it Life's hard, and I'm sorry for your struggles. I wish you the best, friend
This video i just wow. Reading the manga already baffled me but I think this essay perfectly captured the spirit and even carries on upon its theme. As an artist in music myself I am deeply I thoughts and at a loss for words. Beautiful. I hope you continue to find fulfillment in your art.
Backup plans are not about you failing but if the world fails you. There is no guarantee that the art you create generates liveable revenue because there are external factors you have little to no influence about.
I haven’t drawn in a year despite how passionate I was about it my whole life, I was steadily improving, getting better and better.. then it suddenly stopped around when me and my 6 year long gf broke it off. Every time I think of art get so excited and flooded with ideas yet I do nothing. Thanks for making this. I’m going to keep watching. Maybe I’ll finally pick up art again.
Sometimes, making art for nothing and only as a time pass without a passion made it useless to even hold a pencil to draw something that looks half crappy at the end. A waste of paper that's permanently stuck inside a notebook but sometimes, even without the passion, it makes me feel worth in myself for doing something. Today, I made a portrait of my dad and gifted it to him. Why? I just wanted to, not for attention or even the sake to feel passion again, but to just do. Never realised what I lacked was the drive to create something for someone who is worth it, not me but someone else. The reaction of my dad made me realise that, the laughter and happiness he showed. I think I might have felt a streak of passion again that I lost years ago.
I have a younger brother who has grown up lonely and though I know I won't be able to be there for him as much as I'd like, he has me now and I know that whatever time I should do something, it should be now He got a brand new notebook recently and seeing how much he depends on me compared to my other family members for guidance and approval this made me realize just how much more impact I can have in his life with art alone and hopefully it can make up for the time lost and the time we won't be able to have in the future through this And it doesn't matter if he ends up taking art as a career or even a hobby, i just know there can be a deep connection built off of it that can inspire him to believe in himself and know that he's not alone Thank you for making this video, you were right and I'm thankful for it
I remember telling my closest friends about my dream of becoming an author one day, to which they responded with a barely there smile and a 'what about a backup plan?' I don't think there was any experience I've ever had that stung as much as that. Thank you so much for your insightful and frankly eye-opening video. I subbed as fast as I could, sending a lot of love and support ♥️
This came on my suggested he day after I tried to create art for the first time in almost 6 months. I am a medical student and gave up my love for art years ago to get to where I am, I never stopped fully but u can remember the constant progress from me drawing at every spare moment. I gave up my passion for my other 'more valuable' passion, and I regret it often. I miss creating and having pride in what I make and I hope to have some time to keep doing it as a hobby. I watched this and cried thinking about how during the worst times in my life I created such beautiful art and now I cry over a textbook rather then a sketch book. In saying all of this I wouldn't change it, no one ever tells you that giving up creation in the pursuit of another passion will leave you so hollow and regretful, but that doesn''t mean I don't also feel fulfilled and happy too. Even if I went done the path of creation I am sure I would have hated that I wasted my academic protentional. I don't know what I am trying to say here but I just want someone else like me to know that you're not alone and it's okay to feel that regret, but please dont' let it consume you.
I just wanted to listen to something while drawing my comic, I didn’t expect to feel this video so deeply.. I actually had to stop drawing to give my whole attention to the video! everything you said is soooo real
I've seen this video constantly pop up on my recommended and today I decided I'd watch it, only to realize there was a reason why It kept coming up, I'm very thankful for this video, for some reason although I knew about artists appreciating each other's work no matter the difference in skill level, I always denied and refused to believe anyone would ever truly appreciate or be gravitated to my work, but this made me realize that it is possible, that I should believe in that, I cried several times throughout this video because lately I've been exiting my comfort zone with art, I'm about to make 2 years doing art, and I feel like although I haven't been extremely persistent, that my progress has been extremely good so far, it comes with tons of stress, frustration especially for me because I cannot handle stress and frustration very well, but I've already done some works im very proud of. I cried when I realized and stopped denying that people could possibly love and gravitate towards my art nowadays, because when I first started I felt I was terrible in my AP art class but my classmates still supported me, and I cried when you mentioned how our art can make people happy or make their day yk and it's true, I've created some art works/paintings for my girlfriend, very meaningful pieces that although I wasn't super happy with certain things correlated to my skill level, she absolutely loved them and always shows how grateful she is about them, so thank you again for making this video, I guess this is what it took for me to stop denying that anyone would ever like my art or that it'd ever be impactful to someone
I didn’t expect myself to watch this, honestly, although I would instantly click on a clip about writing advice, hoping I would learn something genuinely, I’ve tried to not make “making art” or “writing a story” a big deal anymore. Whenever someone asks if I want to become a writer I would doubt it, saying it’s just a hobby and not a talent nor a way of living suitable for me, I guess it’s because my passion makes it unrealistic. It’s like what you stated, that Fujino either dedicate her whole time into making art or not practice entirely, sometimes writing sounds too good to be true, so I either live in a completely separated world or fit myself in with the mundane. I forgot how I felt within the process of turning myself down times to times, but this video really reminds me of what I used to think too. I wasn’t fond of the word “curse” at the time, so maybe that’s why I stopped hoping to get a reaction, but the way you describe this pain as a “sacrifice” really changed something in me. Thank you for this kind and honest video, it has completed my day.
Lost my computer today (it literally caught fire) and felt like i couldn't do art if it wasn't digital but i decided to draw on paper for the first time in years making me realize how much art has consumed me to the point giving up isn't an option (great video BTW)
“It’s easier to continue than to start.” Hearing that while procrastinating my final year design project, and finding it difficult to do anything, genuinely made me start to tear up. Thanks for this video.
Hey, I'm an artist and university student studying the cognitive science of creativity. Loved this video, and thank you for confirming a lot of my ideas in my most recent project! (Art, music, and the flow state)
I had no idea about this manga and just accidentally stumbled upon your video essay through the feed. And I'm so glad that I decided to watch, thank you so much! I really liked how you described things and it really got me thinking about my art too, how artists connect and how we all share the same struggles and joys. Thank you again for making this video!
Watching while painting ^^ "that is why art is valuable. That is why people like me and so many others spend their lives doing things that are hard and difficult, writing stories that are about people who are not real, diving deep into our own emotions and into our own feelings, giving way to worlds that don't exist. This is why people make art, is it's to make other people happy. It's for the connection that we all feel whenever we experience art together." That quote is going straight to my notes, thank you ❤
God i was a recluse during elementary to highschool just drawing then gave up from the lack of inspiration and other artists to channel it through and had a vibrant social life in college. I recently got back into art and I definitely dont socialize with my irl friends as much anymore. Art is a dedication
I believe i heard someone say da vinci painted his first masterpiece at 60,The narration,the video,the comic,the story telling... everything worked together in such a beautiful way,Thank you...i thank God for all of you
I’m at a time in my life where i have to choose my a path since I’ll finish high school next year and, if I’m being honest, choosing between an art career or a socially acceptable career has been the hardest decision ever. Your video reminded me of how much I love creating, even when I feel like I’m alone during the whole process. Thank you for this!
What i decided to do is go for a socially acceptable college that will not take up a lot of my time so i have time for art. And then later in life i might be able to choose what to do. We'll see how it turns out, I'm going to college in 2 months.
incredibly moving. I'm currently in my sophmore year of art college, and i get it. The struggle, the long nights, the demand, it's all there. This video feels comforting , just to know there are other people out there who are struggling with their own dreams as well. I truly, wish you the most success in your writing. Thank you for creating this video.
This hits home.... I've always loved art, loved pretty, well thought out things, smart references, small details. Of course I've tried making something too. But it is very difficult comming up with something that haven't existed before. It's like you need to become a god, to know and see everything, consider everything or at least far more than common people usually do. Even when I'm not working on something I still analyse everything.... Of course art is not a sensible choice of career. So I went to colledge and got a "practical" major, almost abandoning art entirely. Almost because I still consumed it. After graduating I had no idea where to go because I didn't really want to do the thing I studied no matter how hard I was trying to gaslight myself into making it a part of my personality. And so I've picked an adjacent, more "artsy" direction and have been studying it on my own for the past year. I'm still not sure of it. I feel like it's just an another excuse to procratinate on an inevitable choice between having a poor life and happy career or having a decent life but being doomed permanently. I can't live without art... It's the only thing that makes me feel something. I've been escaping to fictional worlds so much growing up so now I just feel like an alien in the real one. But I'm also not good enough to actually make it a career, I'm thinking way more than I actually creating stuff. Makes me even question if I have a right to call myself "an artist" since I haven't been drawing anything more complicated than some silly sketches in a LONG while. Basically I don't even have anything presentable to show to people when I say I'm an artist. But I do have a couple of stories in my mind and like pondering on them 24/7. Plainly speaking I'm a disgrace in every sense... I can't be a good worker but I can't even make something worthwhile as an artist. I'm just a worthless art-addicted shut-in sitting on my parent's back and overstaying my welcome for a while now.... Completely useless... I've been thinking of taking my own life to lessen the burden. I don't want to do anything other than art, I hate doing something other than art to the point of breaking down but I can't make good art that other people would enjoy (and willing to pay for so that I can actually survive on my own). It's a vicious circle that I don't know how to break. My parent keeps nagging me into getting the job I've been supposedly studying for a year now but I keep stalling. The pressure is immence and I'm not sure I can withstand it much longer.
I wanted to watch something that would cheer me up because i create art for myself. I dont sell it. I dont post it on social media anymore. I was starting to feel like there is no point in creating art for the sake of it. But i realized that if i make art to make myself happy, thats good enough. Its okay to enjoy things.
creativity is a muscle, and just like sports it's a lot easier to routinely continue where you left off as opposed to hurting your muscles after stopping for a long time
I resonate so much with Fujino and your thoughts on art making. I juggle between drawing and painting for my own personal creation, and making pottery as a business of making things to sell. And I find myself, at times, drawing less and less. Almost like the pottery making is taking all my creative energy. And sometimes there is a fear that my drawing will never get to the place I want it to. Like I could improve and truly create my ideas accurately, but I no longer make the time for it. There's always that thought of will my drawings get worse? Will they no longer be my main focus of translating my emotions creatively? Will my skill diminish over excessive time not using it? And I mean, I "draw" on some of my pottery, but it's not the same. It's more simple and less emotionally weighted. But pottery is also my income. And I'm truly not a very internet savvy person. So selling products online, or art prints, is very beyond me. But sometimes I contemplate doing less pottery, or no pottery, and getting a normal day job to suffer through, just so I can use the free time I have to draw again. Maybe it's just me, and I can't balance my time/ energy/ creative output. Just venting here, sorry about that. Your video really touched on alot of points that I've been feeling. Thanks for creating and sharing what you do. ✌️
the things said in this vid are so relatable and ring true for most artists, and i yet ive never heard anyone talk about it - as hard as it is to slave away, maybe without ever getting recognition, the fact that we do it to make people feel something puts it all into perspective. it's strange, because it seems obvious, of course thats the goal, but its so easy to get lost in doubt, and even end up giving up. finding others that share your passion is so important, and remembering why we really do it all is too . thank you for this, it has clearly made a difference to how people see their future art
Thank you so much for this video, honestly it means a ton. It resonates with me a lot, I remember a few years prior getting made fun of my art and being ridiculed because of my dream of going to art school. I feel like people who don't have as deep of a connection with art do not understand how crushing it feels to be ridiculed when you put pieces of yourself and the things you love in your art. Such a good video, made me cry. Thank you again.
well done on this video, made me cry... so many things resonated with me and I'm very thankful I found this video! be proud of yourself Noah, you're amazing
My interest in video essays and art analyzation is what brought me to this video. Watching it and listening to what you have to say, something about it feels so wrong but so right, and because of the complexity of my feelings towards this video I thought I’d write a comment. This isn’t criticism towards your understanding, the comic, or the video as a whole, in fact I don’t know what it is. I’ve had a bit of a problem with my identity for a long time, I constantly strive to understand myself and others yet I can’t. I am two different people through two interests; Art, and psychology. I have complex feelings about humanity, and I’ve always had a passion art. I want to write novels, from ages five to sixteen (present time) I have drawn and written so many things, and I’ve developed a talent from it, from what I’ve heard from others. I love illustration, I love art, I love creativity. And analyzing it, I hate it too, because it’s taken such a toll on me, because it’s only a hobby. I took an interest in psychology, particularly autism and the way our experiences and choices affect us as humans, when I was eight. Watching this, I seem to find myself relating to both the main characters. I envy other people, I hate other people for having and understanding what I don’t. Though, they inspire me, they inspire me to work harder and get better, let it be for pride or simply my own enjoyment of my hobbies. P.s, I don’t think I kept up with my thoughts writing this comment, but as long as I understand it I’m content
This was very beautiful to listen to. I always draw, everyday... and I question why I do it a lot. But you motivated me to continue doing my dream. This video was great! ❤
I read this one a while back. I remember seeing one interpretation that Kyomoto is supposed to represent the passion of persuing art for art's sake, hence why the relationship ebbs and flows the way it does. I'm not sure if I agree with it, but I thought it was interesting to note. We can't always hope for a painless life by persuing something we think is worthwhile, but having people who can appreciate what we create must surely help, if just a little bit. It seems we both have the same "I can't switch my brain off when I consume any media" problem! I like to think it makes my experience of things richer, though it's definitely made it seem like I'm experiencing a different reality to others based on other responses people have. Your approach in your videos comes across as very thoughtful, so it shouldn't be surprising that you inspire thoughtful responses in return. Is the Oscar Wilde quote you were thinking of: "All art is quite useless"?
Yeah, that's definitely an interesting lens to view Kyomoto through. I think there's some truth to that view for sure, but I don't think that's everything. The entire "making art for art's sake" vs "making art for another purpose" thing has always been interesting to me, but honestly, I don't know if you'll ever be fully 100% on either side of the fence, if that makes sense And thank you, I appreciate the kind thoughts And yes! I feared putting the quote in the description would cause people to see it and then immediately comment as if the quote was representative of my own views or the video as a whole. Wilde's got some bangers line, though
It makes sense to me - I think that even if we wanted to, being fueled 100% by our own passion is incredibly difficult, because life happens and we can't expect our feelings to carry us all the way. On the other hand, creating only for the sake of others would probably result in something inauthentic. Yes! And I get that - it's frustrating being misunderstood.
This video and the manga story really spoke to my soul. Ive experienced everything you mentioned. Please keep gking and dont give uo in anything you choose to pursue.
I feel like this could be about me and I could not give up drawing or however you put it but I guess this is kind of motivating someone to being more determined and dedicated to their work and I love it. I was so good at drawing when I was little I did the best of the best. But it’s hard to do that now yk it’s hard to be the best now because there are people who worked hard enough to make up to that point to be well better then me, this video made me realize I don’t have to be the best even though that’s mostly I can do. I’ll never be the BEST because there’s no such a thing.
While listening I started up working on my portfolio again. It was hard to start, but I'm able to keep the ball rolling now :) Thank you for the video, I think I'm going to have to go read "Look back"
When I clicked on the video I didnt expect to end up liking it so much that id even comment, which I never do, yet this really hit home. I am an artist in multipple different ways and still constantly am on the grind to improve and widen my knowledge and experiences, yet I still get those moments when I think -why am I even doing this, why have I let it consume me this much?- and in the end I still keep going because it feels like the right thing for me both in expressing myself and what I want to do. This video reminded me that I'm not the only one experiencing this, that so many people can relate even though it's not the best it's nice knowing that, and we can share the experience and grow from it. (I really hope I'm making sense here since English isn't my first language and my head is a bit of a mess rn)
i was scared this was a video analysis that doesnt do any analysis whatsoever and just reiterates the plot, but this has defied my expectations. i really love how you wrote about art and everything leading up to art, thank you for talking about look back so beautifully, it made me think about it alot more
I can still remeber I was in fourth grade starting art for the first time by seeing a friend who was the only one who would talk to me and make me her friend at school, she started art when she was only 7 or 8, i thought I could get better like her too, i was kinda jealous of her too for drawing such good things with pastels, I was improving too but very slowly as the art teacher didn't give a damn and then one day in a competition ALL the drawings were being hung up for exhibition and I saw people my age making so much better drawings and my drawing was being mocked on my kids , I cant describe how i felt that day but after that day I stopped deawing, now IM in 9th grade wanna start art again , I HOPE I WILL CONTINUE IT
Hey man, this is the first video I have seen from you. And wow it just hit the spot right. I can really associate with these themes. And really felt it. Keep up your work it is amazing! I am glad that you made this video and I hope it reaches more like minded people!! English isn't my native language but I think I got the point across!!
thank you so much for making this, it really means a lot as someone who wants to pursue the arts in the future. your explanation on why us artists create made me cry, i’ll continue to work hard
YOU GUYS. I watched the animated movie for Look Back at Annecy Film Festival this year and it was amazing!! When it comes out, I would recommend watching it. It is beautifully animated, and it hit me emotionally.
Thank you for this. I'm between surgeries after some pretty serious arm issues and I've had to drop my career and most of my making and artsy hobbies (maybe permanently). I didn't realize how isolating the experience of losing your art could be and how it's almost like losing an entire sense of self and community. I picked up sewing and painting as they don't require the two-handed manual dexterity of other things my arm/hand can't do right now. Your video reminded me of the importance of creating for me, no matter what the medium is and regardless of how hard things are right now. I felt a renewed sense of hope watching this and am so appreciative the algorithm showed me your channel.
thanks for your commentary. i found it very resonating, especially when tying up the reason why we do art. it really comes down to seeing the joy when others see our things. its providing a shared experience, a shared feeling.
I want to watch this video in its entirety right now, but I want to watch the movie when it comes out and experience it for myself!!! I related with the first 10 minutes, I am really excited to watch it. Also, there were a few things I disagreed with, and a few things I downright never experienced (having art friends) but great video nonetheless
I just watched your video essay, and it was incredibly well done. As an artist, I’ve often been asked about my backup plan, and it can be really damaging. This was my first time watching your videos, and you captured the essence of the manga and its themes so perfectly that it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for creating such an inspiring video essay. It has really motivated me to draw today. Please continue doing what you’re doing. : )
writing is incredibly isolating. I do months of writing just to upload a chapter. It's tiring, incredibly isolating, and incredibly saddening at times because of how much I end up comparing my works to others and how i can no longer enjoy reading without overanalyzing or thinking or comparing... but i get that one comment who appreciates what i do, and its all worth it. even if just for a while. everything I've ever endured has meaning.
I have a habit of sort of skimming through manga without meaning to so when I first read look back I didnt really enjoy it that much. After watching this video is actually helped me understand the story and why people love it so much.
Thank you for making this video!!! I almost cried watching it... I've been struggling with my work as I work in the creative field and the industry is a huge mess now...
Just started watching your channel, and it’s awesome. I love the discussions, especially about art. Everyone is going through something and experiences hard times. Thanks for sharing your experiences and helping others like myself through your discussions. Keep your head up, keep making art, and keep making videos! 👍
Your video kinda just explained everything that I've been trying to put into words for the past couple months... mostly the last bit. But still. thanks man.
I resonate with what you said in the last part of the video. I feel like this is the only way that I’ll process things in my daily life now. Everything I process must first be evaluated by its potential in my writing. I’m not sure how to handle it, cus it genuinely seems to be how my brain has grown to be structured. Sometimes it feels like I see me and my life in the perspective of a reader. I enjoyed watching your analysis of this beloved manga of mine, and the way you’ve correlated its themes with you as a writer. Thank you.
Every concept talked about here is very relatable to me. It made me kind of emotional. I’d say I’m progressing well in my art passion both mindset wise and my skill set, but this really did make me ‘look back’ and realize all the steps it took for me to get to the artist identity that I am so proud of now. I hope to continue to work on this creative field.
I picked my pencil back up today
😎 awesome
I’m so happy for you
good job
hell yeah love to hear
I'm proud
Not gonna lie, this made me cry. As an artist myself I also often get sucked into this mindset of art being useless, but it still is a part of me - literally. This video made me realise how much art is important to me, so thank you
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!! I didnt think the video would hit this hard
Yeah same here, even with everything that is going on with art nowadays I got reminded of why I started and why I create art...
Art might be useless but it is less useless than anything else i can do in my free time, like playing games or watching something.
@lostan3505 welcome back to art 🎨😎
"Whats your back up plan" idk boom myself
I'm a university student, trying to get out to make manga. You have no idea how many times they ask me this. I'm scared they might not let me. Never fall in love with art, ever. It like a curse and yet a blessing. I almost cried
Thats so funny and true but sad at the same time 😢
my plan actually
“Hopefully I wouldn’t need one”
Bro, the part where you said "I can't enjoy any piece of media any more without analyzing it and dissecting and letting it affect how I make art" hit SO HARD. Making art is so painfully consuming and isolating sometimes but lately I've felt so much connection and comfort from other artists expressing the same feelings. Imposter syndrome, loneliness, being hard on ourselves. Like I said, it's consuming. Thanks for sharing this video. I need to go re-read look back.
Yeah, it's easier to appreciate an artist when you don't see them as a rival. But it can also improve your viewing experience, you notice a lot more about a piece of work than a person who doesn't do art. I love watching anime and cartoons because every single one has such unique animation and ways of telling the story which is not really that present in traditional movies, while my parents just see them all as cartoons and laugh at me for watching them.
As a Japanese, when I read this manga , I was as moved as I was by this video, but at the same time I was reminded of the Kyoto Animation arson case. The criminal also committed the crime with the absurd motive that his work was stolen. I imagine that the artist also continued to ask the question, "Why do I still draw?
What do you refer to by "when I read this piece"? What piece😅?
That hit a lil too hard (currently bawling my eyes out)
Same here friend :_)
This is why finding friends interested in art as an artist is so, so very important. Its far too easy to become a hermit crab and just slave away for some ephemeral goal that may never come but if you have help, or even just someone tlin your corner to encourage you it changes so much.
This is one of the most insightful looks at the artist and the process of art that I've ever seen.
Thank you, I appreciate it!
@@noahmcalister I've been in similar place and I know I'm not alone in that regard. It's true that you: a. have to be dedicated to the art that you're making, b. have to work hard to improve your craft (which means sacrificing time and energy spent elsewhere), and c. have to ignore the trolls and "well-meaning" friends and family. When they talk about "suffering for your art," those are just the opening salvos.
There's an obsession with art that can make you resent people/creators you once looked up to. You start to wonder "how did they get so good? Are they cheating? What do they know that I don't? Am I really that bad of an artist?" I have thoughts like these constantly, and it's hard to change that mentality because on one hand, it is simpler to just think you're terrible. That there's this thing you lack that someone else has, that it's easier to just raise up your hands and go "well, that's just the way it is," and stop trying. But for me, the desire to create, even if it's nothing special, is so strong, I can't stop. Even if I hate it, even if I hate myself, there's something that keeps me going. That something isn't for anyone else, it might just be my own desire to be better. But reading this story, it made me realize how much I wish I had someone like Kyomoto in my life. I'm lucky enough to have people who support what I do, but none of them are artists. None of them really understand what it's like. I want to have someone the same as me, who understands everything. Who can relate to the pain and joy. And while I may never meet that person in real life, it's comforting to know they are at least out there.
I think this one shot is one of the most accurate portrayals of what it's like to be someone who draws. I can absolutely relate to Fujino, having an ego when I was younger, realizing I wasn't that good, grinding and failing to be better, wondering why I even bother to keep going. It's not glamorous, it's ugly and even kind of pathetic at times. But, I want to keep going. I don't want to stop. Ever.
Your videos stopped me from committing suicide. Or more so after I attempted I sat down and found your videos, I loved them. Every day I would check for a new video, I loved when you talked about art and u would look forward to these, I still do. I cannot understand people criticizing you, to me you are amazing, another level. This might sound parasocial but I love you.
I’m no good with words, but take care! ❤️
Suicidal Depression isn't an easy thing, sorry to hear that. It helped me to take things hour by hour... I got told all the time to "do it day by day", but days are far too long and nebulous for me when I'm feeling particularly terrible. If I take it hour by hour, the goal is much smaller and far more manageable.
Hey there, I hope you're doing okay. I'm really happy my videos have helped you. It's one of those things where it's just wild for me to hear that, just because I can remember whatever I was experiencing when I made almost every video, so it's crazy for me to hear others' reactions, especially when the videos have helped. Life is hard, but I've found strength in making vids and I'm glad they've seemed to help others. It means a lot and I feel like I can't properly express my feelings in words, so I'll say this. I hope you're doing okay, friend
I wish you absolutely nothing but the best
As a strangers on the internet. I wish everything will be alright for you and life is a precious thing. I don't think Suicide is worth taking it away. ;) take care man
1:12 This expression is the greatest compliment one artist can give another in their field.
Human connection really does drive inspiration and work, for those days that you'll laugh, Talk, and smile with them ... this video essay was amazing, I think I'll get back to driving myself towards a future like that
and continue making your art Noah I really enjoy it :D
oh i love this. it really hits hard that art is extremely difficult and unglamourous and "useless" when we'd be nowhere without art, you said it super well ^_^
This video essay nearly brought me to tears. My biological dad is an artist and a damn good one at that. He abandoned my mom while she was pregnant with me and we ceased all contact with him. He was probably not a good person but he was an artist, and I am too. I sometimes find myself stalking his Facebook to peek at his artworks. If I could choose I wouldn't even want to be associated with art in any way because of him. I don't like art, it's hard and boring and tedious but I still come back to it. I'm not even that good at it because I delay my progress using excuses. I get so embarrassed whenever my mom sees me drawing, trying to be half of what the person that betrayed her was - a really good artist. And then there's the business where I pretend to hate it when people compliment my work because that means I'm starting to become the person that I dislike the most. But secretly I appreciate it when people appreciate my work. When they say "oh wow that's really good" I get so happy and proud of what I made.
Maybe I would've enjoyed art more had that artist not been my father.
sorry to comment i don’t wanna appear nosy but i think it’s great you seem to have an interest in art, i understand regarding your father you find it difficult to do art ^^ but your father doesn’t define you or your art and i know it may be more obvious said than to believe and im sure your mom understands that too ^^ you don’t have to feel guilty, ^^ also sorry if im saying stuff you already know but good luck with your art journey 🙏🍀
one art teacher i trusted in art school called my work low quality compared to the rest of the class. Still haunts me to this day and gives me impostor syndrome to destructive lvls but in same time i don't want to give up because of that. i still feel like i need to continue to win my "no, you're wrong" against the demon of my insecurities.
I have a similar evil villain backstory lol. Yeah, I think that's the best you can do, push on and succeed despite what someone else may have said. Though hopefully, along the way, we're able to find positive, less vindictive reasons for continuing lol
@@noahmcalister I don't want vindictive reasons to keep continuing. i want to prove that 1diot who planted the seed of doubt that he was wrong. each time i wanted to show him what i could he would shut me down without even hearing what i had to say because maybe there would have been something good that he could have helped me with. Before that uppity individual i had a different and positive approach to art and i want to regain it without being haunted by the words of some snob praised around because he had opportunities.
It’s upsetting how often you hear a story of somebody in school being told that there art is bad, especially because it’s an institute of learning. a teacher has so much sway and it’s upsetting that they abuse it to put students down.
I've stopped making art for the past year because life got in the way, so what you said about how it's much harder to stop and start than continually taking steps (whether or not there's tangible progress) really resonated with me. Maybe it's time for me to finally get back into drawing...your video made me realize how much I've missed just that process of creation
Yeah, I mean, my question when deciding what to do is always, what better thing could I be doing? Bc for me, if I don't make something, I'll just waste time online. So while creation is hard, the alternative is nothing good. So idk if that'll help you, but that's my mindset
Hoping you can get into the groove of creating once more, if that's your desire. Wishing you the best
I was stucked on a wiriting block for an year, when joking with a new firend that I make about the things she likes to read I said "you should read good stuff like my book", so she agreed and I gave to her a pdf with half of the story since I didnt finished it yet. Seeing her reactions and talking with her about the story made me put my head 100% on finishing it. My writing process doesnt make any sense, I dont feel that everything I am doing is perfect and there are flawsI have 0 idea how to overcome. Yet, seeing everything I already wrote and saying "damn, I did this, I thought about it and I made it work, and someone liked" makes me want to do more and more. Perfect analysis, hope everyone here becomes a great artist
I'm kinda experiencing something similar. I started a novel almost a year ago and have been sending it out to friends, and them asking "when are new chapters coming?" is a major reason why I've gotten so far into it. I think I'm like 90k words in or something, and I'm closer to the end than I realize, I think. So having people hold you accountable always helps haha
And thank you for the kind words!
A few months ago I tried to kill myself because of a hobby. That hobby being drawing. I wanted to be known in the art community, I wanted to inspire people, I wanted to be someone’s favorite artist. My art isn’t good at all, at least to me. I know I can do better. But whenever I draw, the thoughts of “there’s better artists out there” “you suck at drawing” stay in my head, I can’t finish my drawings because of that. But if I don’t draw I can’t get better. I want to be the best or I won’t be satisfied with myself. I wish I could stop making a hobby into a petty competition. I stopped drawing recently, it’s become absolutely unenjoyable for me and it’s unhealthy to continue. I hope I can find my passion again in the future.
Im so sorry to hear that, its definitely more than just art block but i have a recommendation. If youre drawing and your art looks bad, take a break from it. Maybe 30 mins to an hour. Once you come back to it, it should look better. Your eyes start to spot flaws or even make up flaws if it stares at something for too long. ^^
Hey there, sorry to hear about your struggles. I've struggled with that feeling of wanting to be the best, especially with writing and storytelling. One thing that helped break this attitude was that I realized there wasn't a number 1 best. Like, there's a tier of artists and writers and creators I like, and I have a favorite band, but if you asked me who the best writer is, I couldn't give you a confident answer. There are a lot of greats and what makes them great is their own style. Of course there's garbage masquerading as greatness, but I can't say who the number 1 writer is, bc it's dependent upon your taste. All that to say, I dont think that there's a no. 1 perfect creator and there's room for many great creators, and there's room for those aspiring ones, including you or me.
I feel weird suggesting my own videos, I always feel weird, but I can't sum up my thoughts in a comment the way that I did in a video. So, feeling weirdness aside, can I recommend the video I did back in November, I think, where I was dressed like a vampire. It was called something like You Can Only Make Imperfect Things or Nothing. Essentially, nothing you make will be perfect, which is a difficult pill to swallow, but it's freeing when you realize and accept it
Life's hard, and I'm sorry for your struggles. I wish you the best, friend
The more you draw the more you develope your own style , i draw to escape from my day job , so doing art is pleasurable. Give it time
This video i just wow. Reading the manga already baffled me but I think this essay perfectly captured the spirit and even carries on upon its theme. As an artist in music myself I am deeply I thoughts and at a loss for words. Beautiful. I hope you continue to find fulfillment in your art.
Thank you for the kind words. It honestly means a lot
Backup plans are not about you failing but if the world fails you. There is no guarantee that the art you create generates liveable revenue because there are external factors you have little to no influence about.
I haven’t drawn in a year despite how passionate I was about it my whole life, I was steadily improving, getting better and better.. then it suddenly stopped around when me and my 6 year long gf broke it off.
Every time I think of art get so excited and flooded with ideas yet I do nothing. Thanks for making this. I’m going to keep watching. Maybe I’ll finally pick up art again.
Fujino and Kyomoto being besties again biting their favourite cakes nobody dies 4K ultra hd 😭😭😭😭
Sometimes, making art for nothing and only as a time pass without a passion made it useless to even hold a pencil to draw something that looks half crappy at the end. A waste of paper that's permanently stuck inside a notebook but sometimes, even without the passion, it makes me feel worth in myself for doing something.
Today, I made a portrait of my dad and gifted it to him. Why? I just wanted to, not for attention or even the sake to feel passion again, but to just do. Never realised what I lacked was the drive to create something for someone who is worth it, not me but someone else. The reaction of my dad made me realise that, the laughter and happiness he showed. I think I might have felt a streak of passion again that I lost years ago.
I have a younger brother who has grown up lonely and though I know I won't be able to be there for him as much as I'd like, he has me now and I know that whatever time I should do something, it should be now
He got a brand new notebook recently and seeing how much he depends on me compared to my other family members for guidance and approval this made me realize just how much more impact I can have in his life with art alone and hopefully it can make up for the time lost and the time we won't be able to have in the future through this
And it doesn't matter if he ends up taking art as a career or even a hobby, i just know there can be a deep connection built off of it that can inspire him to believe in himself and know that he's not alone
Thank you for making this video, you were right and I'm thankful for it
I remember telling my closest friends about my dream of becoming an author one day, to which they responded with a barely there smile and a 'what about a backup plan?' I don't think there was any experience I've ever had that stung as much as that. Thank you so much for your insightful and frankly eye-opening video. I subbed as fast as I could, sending a lot of love and support ♥️
This came on my suggested he day after I tried to create art for the first time in almost 6 months. I am a medical student and gave up my love for art years ago to get to where I am, I never stopped fully but u can remember the constant progress from me drawing at every spare moment. I gave up my passion for my other 'more valuable' passion, and I regret it often. I miss creating and having pride in what I make and I hope to have some time to keep doing it as a hobby. I watched this and cried thinking about how during the worst times in my life I created such beautiful art and now I cry over a textbook rather then a sketch book. In saying all of this I wouldn't change it, no one ever tells you that giving up creation in the pursuit of another passion will leave you so hollow and regretful, but that doesn''t mean I don't also feel fulfilled and happy too. Even if I went done the path of creation I am sure I would have hated that I wasted my academic protentional. I don't know what I am trying to say here but I just want someone else like me to know that you're not alone and it's okay to feel that regret, but please dont' let it consume you.
Usually don’t ever leave comments but this was a beautiful peace, thank you
I just wanted to listen to something while drawing my comic, I didn’t expect to feel this video so deeply.. I actually had to stop drawing to give my whole attention to the video! everything you said is soooo real
Reading the comments and realising we’re all crying
As an artist, this story hit close to home as I was also that jealous person who wanted to be better than someone and I kept drawing and drawing
I've seen this video constantly pop up on my recommended and today I decided I'd watch it, only to realize there was a reason why It kept coming up, I'm very thankful for this video, for some reason although I knew about artists appreciating each other's work no matter the difference in skill level, I always denied and refused to believe anyone would ever truly appreciate or be gravitated to my work, but this made me realize that it is possible, that I should believe in that, I cried several times throughout this video because lately I've been exiting my comfort zone with art, I'm about to make 2 years doing art, and I feel like although I haven't been extremely persistent, that my progress has been extremely good so far, it comes with tons of stress, frustration especially for me because I cannot handle stress and frustration very well, but I've already done some works im very proud of. I cried when I realized and stopped denying that people could possibly love and gravitate towards my art nowadays, because when I first started I felt I was terrible in my AP art class but my classmates still supported me, and I cried when you mentioned how our art can make people happy or make their day yk and it's true, I've created some art works/paintings for my girlfriend, very meaningful pieces that although I wasn't super happy with certain things correlated to my skill level, she absolutely loved them and always shows how grateful she is about them, so thank you again for making this video, I guess this is what it took for me to stop denying that anyone would ever like my art or that it'd ever be impactful to someone
I didn’t expect myself to watch this, honestly, although I would instantly click on a clip about writing advice, hoping I would learn something genuinely, I’ve tried to not make “making art” or “writing a story” a big deal anymore. Whenever someone asks if I want to become a writer I would doubt it, saying it’s just a hobby and not a talent nor a way of living suitable for me, I guess it’s because my passion makes it unrealistic. It’s like what you stated, that Fujino either dedicate her whole time into making art or not practice entirely, sometimes writing sounds too good to be true, so I either live in a completely separated world or fit myself in with the mundane. I forgot how I felt within the process of turning myself down times to times, but this video really reminds me of what I used to think too. I wasn’t fond of the word “curse” at the time, so maybe that’s why I stopped hoping to get a reaction, but the way you describe this pain as a “sacrifice” really changed something in me. Thank you for this kind and honest video, it has completed my day.
All of the stand-ins of what the characters represents just makes this even more heartbreaking. I love Fujimoto’a art.
Lost my computer today (it literally caught fire) and felt like i couldn't do art if it wasn't digital but i decided to draw on paper for the first time in years making me realize how much art has consumed me to the point giving up isn't an option (great video BTW)
The freak murderer was most likely a direct reference to the KyoAni arson.
That's what I felt too when I read it
“It’s easier to continue than to start.”
Hearing that while procrastinating my final year design project, and finding it difficult to do anything, genuinely made me start to tear up. Thanks for this video.
Hey, I'm an artist and university student studying the cognitive science of creativity. Loved this video, and thank you for confirming a lot of my ideas in my most recent project! (Art, music, and the flow state)
I had no idea about this manga and just accidentally stumbled upon your video essay through the feed. And I'm so glad that I decided to watch, thank you so much! I really liked how you described things and it really got me thinking about my art too, how artists connect and how we all share the same struggles and joys. Thank you again for making this video!
Watching while painting ^^ "that is why art is valuable. That is why people like me and so many others spend their lives doing things that are hard and difficult, writing stories that are about people who are not real, diving deep into our own emotions and into our own feelings, giving way to worlds that don't exist. This is why people make art, is it's to make other people happy. It's for the connection that we all feel whenever we experience art together." That quote is going straight to my notes, thank you ❤
God i was a recluse during elementary to highschool just drawing then gave up from the lack of inspiration and other artists to channel it through and had a vibrant social life in college. I recently got back into art and I definitely dont socialize with my irl friends as much anymore. Art is a dedication
I believe i heard someone say da vinci painted his first masterpiece at 60,The narration,the video,the comic,the story telling... everything worked together in such a beautiful way,Thank you...i thank God for all of you
I’m at a time in my life where i have to choose my a path since I’ll finish high school next year and, if I’m being honest, choosing between an art career or a socially acceptable career has been the hardest decision ever. Your video reminded me of how much I love creating, even when I feel like I’m alone during the whole process. Thank you for this!
What i decided to do is go for a socially acceptable college that will not take up a lot of my time so i have time for art. And then later in life i might be able to choose what to do. We'll see how it turns out, I'm going to college in 2 months.
I was not expecting this video to make me cry. I’m an artist and this video deeply resonated with me in every way.
Oh my god did this video make me bawl my eyes out- as an artist it just kinda hit me like a truck multiple times
incredibly moving. I'm currently in my sophmore year of art college, and i get it. The struggle, the long nights, the demand, it's all there.
This video feels comforting , just to know there are other people out there who are struggling with their own dreams as well. I truly, wish you the most success in your writing. Thank you for creating this video.
Look back inspired me and somewhat changed me, im so glad there's other artist that could see themselves here too.
i swear kyomotos smile is so cute
Okay guys, this was the most motivational booster ever to learn more about art. Lets get to anatomy practice^^ (i also cried a Little)
I thought this was gonna be about a person looking at their old art 😭
This hits home.... I've always loved art, loved pretty, well thought out things, smart references, small details. Of course I've tried making something too. But it is very difficult comming up with something that haven't existed before. It's like you need to become a god, to know and see everything, consider everything or at least far more than common people usually do. Even when I'm not working on something I still analyse everything....
Of course art is not a sensible choice of career. So I went to colledge and got a "practical" major, almost abandoning art entirely. Almost because I still consumed it. After graduating I had no idea where to go because I didn't really want to do the thing I studied no matter how hard I was trying to gaslight myself into making it a part of my personality. And so I've picked an adjacent, more "artsy" direction and have been studying it on my own for the past year. I'm still not sure of it. I feel like it's just an another excuse to procratinate on an inevitable choice between having a poor life and happy career or having a decent life but being doomed permanently.
I can't live without art... It's the only thing that makes me feel something. I've been escaping to fictional worlds so much growing up so now I just feel like an alien in the real one. But I'm also not good enough to actually make it a career, I'm thinking way more than I actually creating stuff. Makes me even question if I have a right to call myself "an artist" since I haven't been drawing anything more complicated than some silly sketches in a LONG while. Basically I don't even have anything presentable to show to people when I say I'm an artist. But I do have a couple of stories in my mind and like pondering on them 24/7. Plainly speaking I'm a disgrace in every sense... I can't be a good worker but I can't even make something worthwhile as an artist. I'm just a worthless art-addicted shut-in sitting on my parent's back and overstaying my welcome for a while now.... Completely useless... I've been thinking of taking my own life to lessen the burden. I don't want to do anything other than art, I hate doing something other than art to the point of breaking down but I can't make good art that other people would enjoy (and willing to pay for so that I can actually survive on my own). It's a vicious circle that I don't know how to break. My parent keeps nagging me into getting the job I've been supposedly studying for a year now but I keep stalling. The pressure is immence and I'm not sure I can withstand it much longer.
I wanted to watch something that would cheer me up because i create art for myself. I dont sell it. I dont post it on social media anymore. I was starting to feel like there is no point in creating art for the sake of it. But i realized that if i make art to make myself happy, thats good enough. Its okay to enjoy things.
thanks to you i finally can understand why artists like me keep going. thank you for that
creativity is a muscle, and just like sports it's a lot easier to routinely continue where you left off as opposed to hurting your muscles after stopping for a long time
I resonate so much with Fujino and your thoughts on art making.
I juggle between drawing and painting for my own personal creation, and making pottery as a business of making things to sell.
And I find myself, at times, drawing less and less. Almost like the pottery making is taking all my creative energy.
And sometimes there is a fear that my drawing will never get to the place I want it to. Like I could improve and truly create my ideas accurately, but I no longer make the time for it. There's always that thought of will my drawings get worse? Will they no longer be my main focus of translating my emotions creatively? Will my skill diminish over excessive time not using it?
And I mean, I "draw" on some of my pottery, but it's not the same. It's more simple and less emotionally weighted.
But pottery is also my income. And I'm truly not a very internet savvy person. So selling products online, or art prints, is very beyond me. But sometimes I contemplate doing less pottery, or no pottery, and getting a normal day job to suffer through, just so I can use the free time I have to draw again.
Maybe it's just me, and I can't balance my time/ energy/ creative output.
Just venting here, sorry about that. Your video really touched on alot of points that I've been feeling. Thanks for creating and sharing what you do. ✌️
this inspired me to get back to working on a creative project i've been procrastinating on for a while. thank you
the things said in this vid are so relatable and ring true for most artists, and i yet ive never heard anyone talk about it - as hard as it is to slave away, maybe without ever getting recognition, the fact that we do it to make people feel something puts it all into perspective. it's strange, because it seems obvious, of course thats the goal, but its so easy to get lost in doubt, and even end up giving up. finding others that share your passion is so important, and remembering why we really do it all is too . thank you for this, it has clearly made a difference to how people see their future art
Thank you so much for this video, honestly it means a ton. It resonates with me a lot, I remember a few years prior getting made fun of my art and being ridiculed because of my dream of going to art school. I feel like people who don't have as deep of a connection with art do not understand how crushing it feels to be ridiculed when you put pieces of yourself and the things you love in your art. Such a good video, made me cry. Thank you again.
well done on this video, made me cry... so many things resonated with me and I'm very thankful I found this video! be proud of yourself Noah, you're amazing
Hey there, I just wanna say thank you so much. Your comment came at just the right time, so thank you. I really appreciate it
@@noahmcalister you're very welcome! I'm glad I was able to give you back something after receiving something from you
My interest in video essays and art analyzation is what brought me to this video. Watching it and listening to what you have to say, something about it feels so wrong but so right, and because of the complexity of my feelings towards this video I thought I’d write a comment. This isn’t criticism towards your understanding, the comic, or the video as a whole, in fact I don’t know what it is. I’ve had a bit of a problem with my identity for a long time, I constantly strive to understand myself and others yet I can’t. I am two different people through two interests; Art, and psychology. I have complex feelings about humanity, and I’ve always had a passion art. I want to write novels, from ages five to sixteen (present time) I have drawn and written so many things, and I’ve developed a talent from it, from what I’ve heard from others. I love illustration, I love art, I love creativity. And analyzing it, I hate it too, because it’s taken such a toll on me, because it’s only a hobby. I took an interest in psychology, particularly autism and the way our experiences and choices affect us as humans, when I was eight.
Watching this, I seem to find myself relating to both the main characters. I envy other people, I hate other people for having and understanding what I don’t. Though, they inspire me, they inspire me to work harder and get better, let it be for pride or simply my own enjoyment of my hobbies.
P.s, I don’t think I kept up with my thoughts writing this comment, but as long as I understand it I’m content
This was very beautiful to listen to. I always draw, everyday... and I question why I do it a lot. But you motivated me to continue doing my dream. This video was great! ❤
Wow I’m in tears right now. The way you presented this touched my heart and I really appreciate what you do. I’m going try and make some art again
I read this one a while back. I remember seeing one interpretation that Kyomoto is supposed to represent the passion of persuing art for art's sake, hence why the relationship ebbs and flows the way it does. I'm not sure if I agree with it, but I thought it was interesting to note. We can't always hope for a painless life by persuing something we think is worthwhile, but having people who can appreciate what we create must surely help, if just a little bit.
It seems we both have the same "I can't switch my brain off when I consume any media" problem! I like to think it makes my experience of things richer, though it's definitely made it seem like I'm experiencing a different reality to others based on other responses people have. Your approach in your videos comes across as very thoughtful, so it shouldn't be surprising that you inspire thoughtful responses in return.
Is the Oscar Wilde quote you were thinking of: "All art is quite useless"?
Yeah, that's definitely an interesting lens to view Kyomoto through. I think there's some truth to that view for sure, but I don't think that's everything. The entire "making art for art's sake" vs "making art for another purpose" thing has always been interesting to me, but honestly, I don't know if you'll ever be fully 100% on either side of the fence, if that makes sense
And thank you, I appreciate the kind thoughts
And yes! I feared putting the quote in the description would cause people to see it and then immediately comment as if the quote was representative of my own views or the video as a whole. Wilde's got some bangers line, though
It makes sense to me - I think that even if we wanted to, being fueled 100% by our own passion is incredibly difficult, because life happens and we can't expect our feelings to carry us all the way. On the other hand, creating only for the sake of others would probably result in something inauthentic.
Yes! And I get that - it's frustrating being misunderstood.
This video and the manga story really spoke to my soul. Ive experienced everything you mentioned. Please keep gking and dont give uo in anything you choose to pursue.
I feel like this could be about me and I could not give up drawing or however you put it but I guess this is kind of motivating someone to being more determined and dedicated to their work and I love it. I was so good at drawing when I was little I did the best of the best. But it’s hard to do that now yk it’s hard to be the best now because there are people who worked hard enough to make up to that point to be well better then me, this video made me realize I don’t have to be the best even though that’s mostly I can do. I’ll never be the BEST because there’s no such a thing.
This is a so relatable for me as a comic artist who can’t relax
This really resonated with me. Thanks for making this, I owe it to you to keep making music again.
While listening I started up working on my portfolio again. It was hard to start, but I'm able to keep the ball rolling now :)
Thank you for the video, I think I'm going to have to go read "Look back"
This Video popped up to me while I was crying about not having the time to draw again, i felt seen thank you❤
When I clicked on the video I didnt expect to end up liking it so much that id even comment, which I never do, yet this really hit home. I am an artist in multipple different ways and still constantly am on the grind to improve and widen my knowledge and experiences, yet I still get those moments when I think -why am I even doing this, why have I let it consume me this much?- and in the end I still keep going because it feels like the right thing for me both in expressing myself and what I want to do. This video reminded me that I'm not the only one experiencing this, that so many people can relate even though it's not the best it's nice knowing that, and we can share the experience and grow from it. (I really hope I'm making sense here since English isn't my first language and my head is a bit of a mess rn)
i was scared this was a video analysis that doesnt do any analysis whatsoever and just reiterates the plot, but this has defied my expectations. i really love how you wrote about art and everything leading up to art, thank you for talking about look back so beautifully, it made me think about it alot more
I can still remeber I was in fourth grade starting art for the first time by seeing a friend who was the only one who would talk to me and make me her friend at school, she started art when she was only 7 or 8, i thought I could get better like her too, i was kinda jealous of her too for drawing such good things with pastels, I was improving too but very slowly as the art teacher didn't give a damn and then one day in a competition ALL the drawings were being hung up for exhibition and I saw people my age making so much better drawings and my drawing was being mocked on my kids , I cant describe how i felt that day but after that day I stopped deawing, now IM in 9th grade wanna start art again , I HOPE I WILL CONTINUE IT
Your words add so much to this cause you get it. Man sometimes I feel like I wish I can turn off my brain when I’m consuming art .
I wish you luck with whatever projects you’re currently working on, have paused or are thinking about. I hope you’re doing ok.
Hey man, this is the first video I have seen from you. And wow it just hit the spot right. I can really associate with these themes. And really felt it. Keep up your work it is amazing! I am glad that you made this video and I hope it reaches more like minded people!!
English isn't my native language but I think I got the point across!!
this is genuinely one of the most beautiful videos, thank you so much
thank you so much for making this, it really means a lot as someone who wants to pursue the arts in the future. your explanation on why us artists create made me cry, i’ll continue to work hard
This is such a wonderful video. From one creator to another, I hope you find success!
YOU GUYS. I watched the animated movie for Look Back at Annecy Film Festival this year and it was amazing!! When it comes out, I would recommend watching it. It is beautifully animated, and it hit me emotionally.
This video helped me so much thank you! Always going to watch this video when I feel uninspired
Thank you for this. I'm between surgeries after some pretty serious arm issues and I've had to drop my career and most of my making and artsy hobbies (maybe permanently). I didn't realize how isolating the experience of losing your art could be and how it's almost like losing an entire sense of self and community. I picked up sewing and painting as they don't require the two-handed manual dexterity of other things my arm/hand can't do right now. Your video reminded me of the importance of creating for me, no matter what the medium is and regardless of how hard things are right now. I felt a renewed sense of hope watching this and am so appreciative the algorithm showed me your channel.
thanks for your commentary. i found it very resonating, especially when tying up the reason why we do art. it really comes down to seeing the joy when others see our things. its providing a shared experience, a shared feeling.
this is a banger, and i know bangers
I want to watch this video in its entirety right now, but I want to watch the movie when it comes out and experience it for myself!!! I related with the first 10 minutes, I am really excited to watch it. Also, there were a few things I disagreed with, and a few things I downright never experienced (having art friends) but great video nonetheless
I just watched your video essay, and it was incredibly well done. As an artist, I’ve often been asked about my backup plan, and it can be really damaging. This was my first time watching your videos, and you captured the essence of the manga and its themes so perfectly that it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for creating such an inspiring video essay. It has really motivated me to draw today. Please continue doing what you’re doing. : )
writing is incredibly isolating. I do months of writing just to upload a chapter. It's tiring, incredibly isolating, and incredibly saddening at times because of how much I end up comparing my works to others and how i can no longer enjoy reading without overanalyzing or thinking or comparing...
but i get that one comment who appreciates what i do, and its all worth it. even if just for a while. everything I've ever endured has meaning.
I have a habit of sort of skimming through manga without meaning to so when I first read look back I didnt really enjoy it that much. After watching this video is actually helped me understand the story and why people love it so much.
Thank you for making this video!!! I almost cried watching it... I've been struggling with my work as I work in the creative field and the industry is a huge mess now...
this video was soso well made and honestly relaxing and motivating, thank you for making this
cried watching this, very well done
Bro u made my day. Im also an artist and I really reaonated wit this character bruv. Tysm for this beautiful vid
I'm an artist… your words moved me to tears, thank you 🥹 let’s keep pushing our passions as creatives forwards! 😁
This video hits hard. CZcams finally doing its job showing the proper content recommedations!!!!
I’ve been waiting forever for a look back essay vid!! Words cannot describe how much I love this one shot c:
I shed a few tears lmao. Pretty good video
This video gives a bitter sweet vibe. I like it.
Just started watching your channel, and it’s awesome. I love the discussions, especially about art. Everyone is going through something and experiences hard times. Thanks for sharing your experiences and helping others like myself through your discussions. Keep your head up, keep making art, and keep making videos! 👍
Your video kinda just explained everything that I've been trying to put into words for the past couple months... mostly the last bit. But still. thanks man.
I resonate with what you said in the last part of the video. I feel like this is the only way that I’ll process things in my daily life now. Everything I process must first be evaluated by its potential in my writing. I’m not sure how to handle it, cus it genuinely seems to be how my brain has grown to be structured. Sometimes it feels like I see me and my life in the perspective of a reader.
I enjoyed watching your analysis of this beloved manga of mine, and the way you’ve correlated its themes with you as a writer. Thank you.
I'm starting to get back into making art it is so hard to keep going without knowing what I'm doing but I might as well try my hardest
Every concept talked about here is very relatable to me. It made me kind of emotional. I’d say I’m progressing well in my art passion both mindset wise and my skill set, but this really did make me ‘look back’ and realize all the steps it took for me to get to the artist identity that I am so proud of now. I hope to continue to work on this creative field.