Crying is Extremely Weird
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- čas přidán 29. 04. 2024
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Having a good cry might make you feel better, sometimes. But the sight of tears streaming down your face, or the sound of your blubbering, might also make other people feel things, too.
How Crying Manipulates Us
Hosted by: Stefan Chin (he/him)
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If you’re upset, crying/being sad is a better response than getting mad. Unfortunately, I learned very young that getting angry was less embarrassing because crying was seen as not “manly.” I hope younger generations learn better, because sadness evokes empathy from people, whereas getting angry pushes people away.
Yeah... it doesn't work like that. There's a reason the "sexist" study mentioned in the video only looked at one direction of response to crying. The effect does not work at all the other way around.
@@willythemailboy2hard to know for sure since the study didn’t test for it
@@EmmaCat15 The phenomenon itself was already well established, they were researching the *mechanism*. Since the phenomenon is known not to work in reverse, there is no reason to test the mechanism. If anything, a woman smelling male tears is likely to increase in aggression.
Im honestly pretty embarrassed by my anger, yet i get where you're coming from too man.
Imo feeling like an ass all the time after a while gets to taking its own toll, i may get the lead out with a good ole GDMf'nSOB'nC outburst but when everyone's staring with that wtf look on their face its a lil eye opening.
Then they tend to avoid you.
Processing is quite helpful when i remember to do it actively. Just gotta step back and bite the tongue and think for a few seconds.
As someone who got diagnosed with BPD because of anger issues I used to have - don't demonize any emotion. It's what made it so, so much harder to not have anger outbursts, being taught that anger is bad. Anger is fine too. It's expressions of it that can be damaging, as well as its tendency to get too intense (i.e. it's easy to get lost in it). As long as you account for the two it's an absolutely fine emotion to feel and even express to a degree. As are all emotions. Basically you want to look for inappropriate expressions of it, as with any emotion. In anger's case, this entails becoming better at telling when anger is justified, when someone is actually hurting you or your loved ones, a sort of last response. You have to become good at telling when you are actually being slighted and anger is the only way to get out of that situation. Uncommon, but it pops up. Abusive situations, attacks on the street and whatnot. And even when its a healthy emotion to feel, again, you have to moderate it. If used as such, you have achieved healthy anger.
When I saw the title for this video, I initially thought it was going to be about how crying tears the way we do isn’t a trait we see in any other animals. This video was very interesting, and I’d love to see more discussion about how and why humans cry with tears, while other animals just have vocal cries.
Quite a number of other animals cry. Oddly enough, they’re also mostly hairless.
@@rimibchatterjeemaybe not odd, if you don't have much fur or hair you lose moisture more, kinda makes sense huh
@@colorbugoriginals4457 the same is also true for sweat. Us and short haired sport horses sweat a lot for example. Longer haired mammals not that much or only on their paws if they have one.
Ofc it's more nuanced but hairiness is big part and indicator.
@@4124V4TA-SNPCA-x It makes sense that, whatever in our DNA decides where our pathways for goo will go, it's related to where we grow our hair.
I'm not sure I entirely believe these studies' results, since I know for a fact that crying can make bullies and domestic abusers *more* aggressive.
That's probably to do with psychology. These studies seem to be about the unconscious, neurological reactions of just neutrally seeing/smelling people's tears -- people might have a very different and way more aggressive reaction especially to actually having made someone cry for a whole bunch of different reasons.
Ya they also picked sexes and were clearly bias on this.
But that's not the natural response. I'm sorry if that's what you experienced but those people have something wrong with them. A normal, healthy person responds with sympathy, not aggression, when we they suffering.
What’s really wild, is if you’ve ever breastfed, the mere sound of a baby crying can give you the sensation of let-down, where your mammary glands release milk in preparation for nursing. Even years after your kids have grown, and your tatas are dry as a bone, you can still get that feeling. It’s weird af.
I haven't breastfed for like 7 years now and I STILL occasionally get this 😂 especially with friends babies for some reason. So weird
Someone once said her breasts felt like they're about to make milk when we were playing Yoshi's island, she wasn't even a mother yet at the time. When baby Mario falls off Yoshi, he starts crying, it's an alarming sound effect for me too, as a guy.
Lmao this was legit an issue for me 5 years ago. I couldn’t go to stores for a while because there’s always someone crying somewhere and I was an overproducer as it was 😭 it was a nightmare
@@jouniko apparently some women and even occasionally men can start lactating without pregnancy and/or medication to induce it, maybe she’s one of them
baby is crying ==> mother's hypophyseal gland is going to release oxytocin, which induces mother's nipples to squeeze in preparation to let milk down and mother's emotional centers to feel a strong & immediate urge to take care of that baby, to calm him/her down, to show love & bond close
also the sound or smell of baby tears induces prolactin secretion, which also promotes maternal behavior
Crying leads to trusting (in the farmer game) because we hide tears from those we don't know well, but are more open with people we feel safe around. And their crying in front of us is a vulnerability that leads to our connection to them.
This is your theory or they’ve done a study on it?
Either way, I’m on board with it but if it’s a study I want to read it
@@samstromberg5593 I learned from relationship therapists (in real life and online). Brené Brown is probably the foremost resource.
yes, yes, thwy gave you their water. wait till the seitch hears could be muab dib
Childless woman here. Baby cries irritate me but crying adults make me want to help.
Same
Same
They only tested women. Because men can’t be gentle apparently.
Same
Same
I think the urge to feel compassion for a crying baby is sympathy knowing they are helpless. I remember one of my nieces having bad hiccups when she was a year old. If they didn't go away soon and we couldn't help her, she started crying and hiccuping simultaneously and it hurt me inside knowing she's probably worrying, "What is going on, and why won't it stop?"
Oh, interesting! It made me think of something. When you feel a growing fetus having hiccups, it is wild. And there's this "instinctive" (I don't know if it's really instinctive, but it always felt like it to me) desire to rub your tummy to soothe them, knowing full well it doesn't feel the tummy rubbing.
funny, when i saw that it pissed me off
@@SmittenKitten. gross! stowaways! flush 'em out!
@@intellectually_lazy You do what you gotta do.
It doesn't surprise me at all that crying was also linked to more trust worthy perceptions. Various other studies show that blushing (faces turning red) are overall linked to more empathy and trust. That it seems to be a way to portray "I am feeling this emotion for real. I am being honest right now." And especially in serious situations where honesty could be very serious, like shame, humiliation, being caught doing something wrong, in a fight, any of these things that might have been potentially a life or death conflict for our ancient ancestors. What else makes your face, and eyes, turn red? Crying
arousal
When I worked in Market research during allergy season my eyes would tear up and I would get more respondents for surveys than during the rest of the year.
I bet you have packed a small jar of shredded onions to quickly wave before your eyes after that.
Just kidding.
Worst job ever.
So what about people who cry when they're angry? That's about half of my family members. We certainly can't control it and sadly it attracts people who "just want to help" in situations where it's better to leave us the heck alone. On a positive note it lets the anger kinda "flow" away like a release valve is opened.
I think it’s the overspill of one emotion to the other when you’re feeling something so intense. I’m an angry crier too, and the only time I’ve found the tears staying back is if I’m completely enveloped and blinded by rage. It sucks but between the two I honestly think angry crying is better. At least then there’s a chance to rein it in, y’know?
are you also italian and/or irish? i just figured it was bc in my family criers are weak and vulnerable
Cause crying is a release of emotions, good or bad. It’s not specific to a certain emotion.
It’s probably body language, telling us what emotion it is, and the tears letting us know that whatever emotion it is, is very strong and clearly affecting the person harshly.
That’s what happens to me as well when I am really angry.
@@lasciviouspaine racist!
One of my earliest memories is in elementary school when a kid and I got into a fight. I joked that he was evil and I was the real hero. He then punched me, kicked me, and then cried. When it got to the teacher, she gave me a harsher punishment than him only because he was crying and I wasn't. Thankfully she no longer works at the school.
U started it 😂
OP still think being the hero of said story 💀
@LookatRealNumberes Is this english?
Well, it because he dealt physical damage while you gave EMOTIONALL DAMAAGGEEE.
Well, yeah. You started it.
7:04 Showing someone your vulnerability will convey trust. I don't think that's odd at all.
I remember crying in front of one guy. He switched to a channel on tv that had someone crying and then told me to look at how ugly people are when they cry. Further evidence that he wasn't a very nice guy and probably had his brain wired all wrong.
We have an entire political party consisting of people who were neglected as children and thus have grown up to be very narcissistic and lacking in empathy
That sounds like he was genuinely sociopathic.
@@aForkfulOfGold He might have been. He told me once that he fantisized about unaliving me... he described what he wanted to do. I believed him to be borderline personally disorder. But sometimes he seemed more sociopathic. He was like Jekyll and Hyde.
@@anyascelticcreations I'm sure he must have had a sweet side, or you would not have been a couple. I hope you're both okay.
@@aForkfulOfGold He did. I'm okay. I'm in a different state now and haven't seen him in years. He ended up finding someone who treats him the way he used to treat me. He said he felt like he deserved it after the way he treated me. I would have hoped for happiness and healing for him. But it is what it is. I just try to remember to be thankful each day for the peace that my life is now with 4 cats and a gentle puppy who will become a big gentle dog. 😺 🐶 🙏 ❤️
I am such an empathetic-cryer…I don’t particularly consider myself to be an “empath”, but I just automatically start tearing up when I see or hear someone else cry. Especially if I know or care about the person, which I guess makes sense
Yeah I feel that
Ofcoarse every rule has it's exception(s), but I think this study was done among normal functional people.
The exceptions who respond in polar opposite are obviously not that.
Demons and monsters crying: This has been an artistic obsession of mine for the past couple of months. The disparity in the brain of looking at something that should make you apprehensive and feeling compassion for it is SO peculiar.
I would love to see that.
i want to know the science behind angry crying (and how to stop doing it because it’s embarrassing)
I can’t name studies, but I’m sure it is about releasing pent up energy. Crying releases stress, so it makes sense to come out when expressing pent up stuff.
I've never had a single partner that didn't get mad at me and accuse me of faking when crying. I'd like to know where to find these "turned less aggressive" guys
That’s genuinely a bummer.
I bet it’s the ones least likely to watch grifters like Tate and JP, since their whole thing is gaslighting boys into believing they have to be toxic or else they’re “weak.”
Of course, being afraid of normal human emotion is about as pathetic as it’s possible to be.
Good luck finding empathetic partners in the future!
@@piedpiper1172 Jordan Peterson's books changed my life and turned me from a suicidal, mentally ill loner to a functional member of society with family, friends and children on the way. You've evidently never bothered to read a single word of that man's writings.
Tate on the other hand is exactly what you say he is.
@@destructorzz7197 I am glad you made your life better, and you deserve to be proud of your work, your growth, and yourself.
But I have read Peterson. I’ve also read the philosophical works much of his own ideas are quasi summaries of-if you start with gold, no matter how much crap you mix in, there will still be some gold.
But Peterson commits the great sin of academic achievement: he mistakes being well informed on one subject (and I’ll even leave aside the stark reality that he is not actually all that successful in his own expertise) means he is competent on all subjects after only a little extra research.
This leads to him constantly spewing blatant misinformation-such as claiming ADHD isn’t real, but a result of “boys not getting rough and tumble play” based on a single rat study that itself is almost 50 years out of date, the author of which didn’t even claim that was the result, and that same author has walked back his own much milder claim (that physical social play could lessen the severity of adhd symptoms) in lieu of the preponderance of more recent studies.
And please, don’t take my word for it. On this platform you can find Dr. Barkley, a man whose google scholar page I encourage you to verify for yourself, going over in detail why Peterson’s wrong in 2 videos.
Thing is, that’s just one specific issue. And it causes harm-Peterson uses his platform to spread genuinely harmful misinformation. It adds to existing stigma, and that drives policy. Ex: There is a near global shortage of ADHD medicine almost entitled because of DEA policy based on unfounded fears of systemic abuse by people with ADHD, yet the data is very clear that it doesn’t happen.
But Peterson is just… often wrong. You can find countless genuine experts refuting basic factual error each time he drifts into a new field. He has allowed his celebrity and attention to become a substitute for practicing any of the principles he preaches.
I’m glad his book helped you-particularly if it was one of his earlier ones, but I suspect reading any of the authors he cribbed.
Its why women pick bears.
I'm sorry you've only encountered shitty partners.
Which JP book did you like?
I feel myself raging. My mother used tears to control me throughout my childhood. I have to remind myself that not everyone does this and not to snarl at people.
Hey bro, you should probably find someone to talk to about that.
@@piedpiper1172 Yeah, thanks, I never would have thought of that.
@@MetalkattSeriously, it’s not good if the simple fact someone is crying is enough to enrage you. 😬
@metalkatt Sorry that happened to you growing up. Eventually it all works out, IF you want it and allow it to. Speak for myself anger and rage are hard to wash off. But that anger and rage does not belong to you. Dry it off and let it evaporate.
@@misspatvandriverlady7555 Yeah, I think the DSM V actually calls that “a symptom.”
When kids start cry it makes me feel greatful to not have kids. I don't know what your talking about.
exactly it’s free birth control
Me too. I've joked with my sister that if I ever had a baby I would immediately give it to her. Lol
for me it depends on the age of the child.
That's also normal and just as instinctive when it's not your kid. It's a way to have built in incentives for parents to not neglect their children because other people will not want to be around them and/or will be annoyed/frustrated with them if they're letting their child cry. Even people who initially think baby crying is cute will get tired of it if it doesn't stop.
Same
Didn't a few recent researches manage to cast doubt on every single study based on MRI readings while people react to visual stimuli? Iirc it involved trying to replicate said experiments while exposing participants to completely meaningless/random images and consistently achieving undistinguishable readingd on MRI's that were associated in these studies with specific emotional responses. I will try to find the sources again if anyone's interested.
0:00 - A tip; don't go into "problem solving mode". Go into validation and letting them comfortably express their emotions, mode. The goal shouldn't be to try and stop them from crying via whatever means possible. Rarely are people interested in your problem solving contributions when they are crying or expressing anger, etc. It's just annoying. I had to learn this at one stage lol.
Validation here also doesn't mean "you are correct in every way imaginable". It's just acknowledging what they're feeling and expressing that it's okay to be feeling emotions (don't be patronising), even if it's potentially not particularly warranted for the situation (which would be a larger secondary topic for later, because right now they are feeling what they are feeling regardless).
This is a subjective take, not objective. Know the person and what they want. I get so mad when people try to validate, I want help to solve the problem so I don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore not a hug and some cheesy hallmark card words of affirmation.
Some people do want distraction, they don’t want to talk about it in the moment because they need more time to process.
I used to have the same opinion about what I thought was validation, but true validation is not like a cheesy hallmark card. When it’s authentic, it helps the upset person regulate their emotions faster so that they can get to the headspace of problem-solving sooner. A lot of people don’t know how to do validation; I’m sure just as many don’t know how to receive validation. Compassion and curiosity are the foundation of good validation.
@@MorganBondelid again this feels like you projection your experience onto others, but honestly whatever most people do that.If you’ve healed and have found what makes you happy then I’m genuinely happy for you
@@tallyjones8917 - Could you go into more detail? I'm curious where you differ from my first reply. I feel it's probably going to come down to you having a specific idea of what validation is, when in reality that's MAYBE just one expression of (potential) validation, that doesn't fit you personally. If you've seen certain women validate each other (girl's girls), you'll know that there's very different expressions of validation out there that are not always fitting for everyone.
I also feel like you felt validation is like, "aw baby, it's okay", but that's not validation as much as consoling, and a very specific type of consoling that I personally wouldn't enjoy very much.
Okay yea in your first reply you said "not a hug and some cheesy hallmark card words of affirmation".
A hug and words of affirmation, are not inherently validation at all. That's primarily consoling. You could hypothetically hug someone and say "you got this, you can do it!", whilst at the same time not validating them at all.
So, if you're talking about consoling in that manner, then I completely agree with you, and I too, would very much dislike if someone did that with me.
Consoling is another whole other subject that I had to learn and get good at. I wasn't comfortable with consoling, and the usual examples of it are generally when women do it, and women are often socialised very differently, so for a man to try and utilise some lessons there is not so easy. Ya gotta figure out what works for you, while it still being effective.
Then, if you can't touch them or hug them (easier mode), then you REALLY need to understand and utilise validation, otherwise it's going to be pretty awkward.
"So.... uh, when you stop crying, I have a notebook here where we can brainstorm some solutions to whatever you're sad about?".
@@Siberius-
Okay honestly that reply is a bit hard to respond to bc you’re kinda just talking at* me rather than to* me but let try to pivot and ask this:
Why *DOESNT* problem solving count as validation? You yourself said that validation comes in plenty of forms afterall.
When I’m stressed out I don’t wanna talk and marinate on why I’m stressed out, I want it to stop. So I’ll rant so they know what’s up bc I WANT a response and advice for what I can do ->which is problem solving.
My point is that by telling people that they shouldn’t problem solve but validate, it invalidates ironically the plenty of people that DO want problem solving. Just like there are plenty of people that want to ramble on what’s bother them while you sit and say nothing there also plenty that do want feedback and guidance.
What people want when they’re stressed or sad is subjective, there is no one size fits all.
“Baby’s are master manipulators, urging something deep within you to care for them non stop”
Clearly I am very broken 😆
Very much the same here
Yeah, same here
I don't know if it's my autistic brain, or I have a weak parental instinct, but crying babies activates an anger response in me. Crying adults make me feel sad though. I feel empathy for adults.
It's them main reason I don't want kids. Like, ever. You can call me an inhuman monster, but at least I've never acted on my irrational hatred of babies.
“At least I never acted on my irrational hatred of babies” you want a cookie for not being a baby killer??? That’s like literally the bare minimum. Just say the babies crying overstimulates you and stresses you out. You don’t have to be such an edgelord about it.
Thanks for the upload.
Everyone can cry. Don't let people tell you you can't cry. Men cry. Women cry. Boys cry. Girls cry. Everyone is human, and humans need to process their emotions.
love the presentation with your personal animation
I very much take notice of which children cry, but once I conclude it to be important or not, it's trivial for me to ignore non-important reasons. But if it's an important reason, even if I'm not responsible for them, it's difficult not to notice the details and monitor the situation.
Got into an altercation on board a train once when a young lady a few seats away from us started crying and begged us to stop, stating she was scared. I've never been able to explain it but at that moment I felt a change in my whole system, from wanting to beat this guy into a pulp to comforting her, felt like a switch was flipped but I never quite understood it. The other guy also immediately stopped (the physical part of) fighting, and backed down.
I guess the answer is, as usual, chemistry...
Well, today I learned two things. Tears have a smell and most people don't hate screeching babies.
That's a CAT scan in your stock image, not an MRI.
don't worry he clearly doesn't know what he's talking about either
That’s the editor’s problem, not his.
Crying is usually associated with people being in pain in some way, but also, it shows vulnerability, so it makes sense that when you see someone cry - especially a loved one - that it creates a reaction within people. Showing your vulnerable side seems to immediately make you seem more trustworthy - this is why so many people use it to manipulate others.
Is it just me.... I don't think I've ever smelt tears- my own or someone else's
It is likely a subconscious reaction since we don't have "tear smell" in our vocabulary.
I'm not crying, I'm just sweating from my eyes.
It is interesting that you would assume that people's aggression would decrease when people are crying. Depending on the situation, maybe I would agree, but I've seen too many people cry crocodile tears that it tends to make people more aggressive in response.
Aggression as a response to crying could also be a subconscious way of you getting ready to combat the "threat" that made the person cry.
@@DakotaofRaptorsThat's an interesting way to look at it. You could be right.
Crying gets used a lot to manipulate people, so it makes sense as a trained response.
If someone is just smelling tears, they don’t see a face or hear any explanation for why the person is crying. So, automatically, your brain has signals to decrease aggression, but socially, you have learned to keep your guard up when you feel vulnerable.
Not that everyone gets aggressive, but that makes sense to me.
Ive rarely, if ever, had a PERSON not treat me as “soft or “weak” for crying, in and outside of relationships, sry that happened to you sara keep the faith that we are intrinsically good
I made a joke about how capitalism advocates psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies as being "human condition" and degrades other emotional tendencies such as compassion and empathy as "irrational" and one of the studies is specifically based off capitalist rent seeking... i love science
Well, i wonder for their test. Did they come across a few people who didn't have those reactions at all? But also theres a man who found out he was a "pcsychopath" via his own scientific testing as a neurologist, you should look that up.
@LookatRealNumberes "fair deals" lol capitalism incentives people to get the most they possibly can for something even if it's worthless. Snake oil salesmen and NFTs are a good example of this.
@@dennisestenson7820just like bear traps lol
@LookatRealNumberes What is what? Your first sentence is hard to figure out.
Capitalism is an economic model where those who supply the money needed to produce goods get to decide what to do with the profit.
Communism is an economic model where those who actually produce the goods get to decide what to do with the profit.
The differences aren't as big as they're made out to be, mostly because critics of both tend to ignore the authoritarian axis of the political compass when choosing examples of bad capitalism/communism. i.e. how centralized the government of that society is. What I mean with this: Both can be market driven or centrally planned.
That said, there is something self-destructive about free market capitalism that any of the other types (free market communism, planned market capitalism, and planned market communism) on the first two axes doesn't have: Free markets lead to money concentrating in the hands of the best traders instead of the best producers. Trading wealth gain has no limits, you can trade more and more and more forever. So this can create massive inequality. Producing goods on the other hand has a clear limit: There's only so many hours in a day. In addition, under capitalism once you have more wealth than someone else, you have a greater abillity to get even more wealth than someone else, i.e. you win faster each time you win and you lose faster each time you lose. It accelerates in both directions, so it makes the gap between rich and poor widen faster and faster. This leads to corporate mergers and kids born as billionaires, but more importantly it also drives wages down. Because why would they pay higher wages if there's no competition? If your company owns the marketplace (Amazon for example), then why would you ever treat anyone better than you need to? This means there are no free markets anymore, because there is no competition. So free market capitalism destroys itself, leading to feudalism. Always.
@@lightbeingform much like bear traps, which are for trapping/maiming/killing bears but, cause collateral damage when misused... capitalism is an ideological economic system, which causes collateral damage when misused and misapplied. Applying it to psychology or morality, or anthropomorphizing it as if it *does* something are a few examples of such misuse. There are plenty more.
That whistling on your theme gets me all the time lol but love your videos!
I'm thinking back now on which actors I've seen that were really, genuinely crying, because I could definitely feel the difference.
I just want to say, this is the first video I have seen that doesn't have the usual host on it, and it is eerie how much this man sounds like him. The speech pattern is almost identical
Thank you 🙏
Regarding “genuinely recalling a sad event versus acting crying”
Uh, how do you think acting works?
When it’s flu shot season and babies/kids come in to the doctors I immediately leave the room, I literally cannot handle hearing the crying, and one time I was in for an operation for the last time at the children's hospital and the screaming and crying sent me into a full blown panic attack (I don’t get those, ever)
An Infant crying will never create a stronger response than a fully aware and self conscious adult crying
My cats and dogs always give my tears a quick sniff.🤔
Mine do too!
not this coming up on my recommended when I'm crying 💀 thanks for the distraction it was needed
Hope you're okay bud
Thanks for this interesting video. Anyone have insights or resources regarding the inverse relationship? When do very obviously real tears trigger more aggression or the opposite of a reaction that is connecting and nurturing? I am asking because in the context of long term relationships and conflicts, I am sometimes experiencing this feeling with my partner. I feel unable to connect to her real feelings and I believe it has to do with the fact that I see her crying about something as not warranted or over the top. It sounds bad and I wish to be able to react better, but it is difficult.
That's probably to do with your personal psychology. Do you repress your own emotions? I know I do, and before I started realizing that and working with it, I would often get annoyed when people cried "over nothing". Or maybe if you've had people manipulate or guilt you with their tears, even unintentionally, that might make you less likely to feel empathetic.
"...well, it couldn't hurt." made me laugh so loud I scared my dog.
I've definitely known a few men who absolutely became more violent in response to crying, whether it's their wife/girlfriend or their own children, so saying tears reduces aggression.... well that depends on the individual.
“i’ll give you something to cry about”
It's because they do feel bad, but men are taught that anger is the only manly emotion, so they convert all emotions to anger and it comes out that way
@@guntcheckor maybe they were trained for it by manipulative mothers, siblings or girlfriends is another option. Just guessing here.
Can verify. Adults crying had always felt like manipulation to me. This video has shown that intuition to be true.
@@guntcheck dpesn't justify abuse
I wonder if aversion would still count as a "strong response" in the crying baby study. When I see/hear a kid crying, my main thought is to put as much distance between me and the child as physically possible. My brain might just interpret crying as being associated with fear and, therefore, danger, triggering the flight response. Brains are weird
They wanted me to figure out crying.
Crying is a physical cleansing of the brain after emotional trauma We cry and cleanse our brain and we feel better right after crying. Telling a child not to cry is not correct. Crying can help us process the bad things that happen to us. Crying makes you a better person and the process works.
That response for babies must be different for me cuz I get nervous when I see them cry...
There's a curious overlap with my former abuser saying that he feels better when he sees me cry, and this. Which is quite morbid. He himself stated that abusing me to the point of tears helped him regulate his aggression, so he was better able to perform at work and with other social interactions. And now I feel a bit of solace in knowing that at least there's a scientific explanation as to why.
I had a cousin who could cry in demand and it looked genuine, she told me just think of the saddest thing that makes you cry, that was it. Since then I just don’t trust anyone who cries in front of me.
I have been in situations where it’s been so frustrating to get someone to actually listen and understand and I have felt my own body trying to cry, that makes me shutdown fast I hate it when others do this to me, so I be dammed if I will do it to someone else. It takes a lot of steady deep breaths before I can continue.
My Mom told me as I got older that as a baby I never cried, not even when I fell over nor when I was hungry, she would come in to feed me during the night and I would be just laying there looking up at the mobile toy above my crib. On the other hand my brother never stopped crying 24/7 it drove everyone batty, he on the other hand was very much the manipulator all his life.
When I have been crying I am on my own and the flood gates take for ever to shut down, I think that’s due to the fact I rather cry in private. I don’t count crying at the movies, some movies are perfect for that very reason.
It’s been found that some people under a lot of stress feel better after a good crying session, that’s very true, that’s why I prefer to be in private when I cry for something that’s happening in my life.
I have found that going to a movie that you know will trigger the waterworks is a great way to have that much needed release without having someone hovering over you while you cry.
You seem like a great person
Same here, with the difference that I don't feel all that relieved afterward; And my eyes sting, my nose is running away and my head wants to explode.
I usually try to avoid/ evade the storm by distraction.
And I dread the moments when óther people are crying.
It’s not normal what your cousin was doing and most people are not manipulating others when they cry. I guess this random CZcams comment won’t change your mind but just throwing it out there
I have heard famous actors sharing this is their exact same method in front of congrats or even on stage sometimes.
every time i heared a baby cry i got mad, felt disgust and hatred.
I think it's the vulnerability that makes you feel like you can trust somebody.
You can’t use games to accurately measure aggression. People will do things in video games that they normally won’t do in real life. Especially uncharacteristically aggressive things because the consequences aren’t real.
You can, when you make both groups play a game and measure the difference. It's not a measurement of absolute levels of aggression, it's a measurement of the difference between untempered and tenpered (by tears) aggression.
I remember before meeting up with my girlfriend at the time, I had all these points I wanted to make and evidence I wanted to provide for why I believe I was treated unfairly when she herself admitted I did nothing wrong. She was clearly very distressed from her personal life and was sobbing the whole time and looking back at it now it subdued that rational demeanor.
I didn't get to say everything I wanted to and would've felt guilty for making her feel worse, instead I was more focused on being gentle than explaining my side of the story. I still don't know if that was the right decision since part of the reason she was crying was because she was breaking up with me.
ear plugs in, and all is good 👍👂
I used to use ear plugs but joined the modern era and now I use noise canceling earbuds.
Thanks
Very interesting. Thanks, Stefan!
My baby cried with actual tears when she was around 2weeks old. It surprised me a lot.
I may have something backwards but I want to help crying people but babies? NOPE, my instinct tells me to get as far away as humanly possible.
I hope you don't have kids. LOL
Touche'
That's probably because it's not your kid and in the wild touching ANY strange baby gets you deader than a door nail REAL QUICK.
same omg, no maternal instinct whatsoever get it away from me
Me too. Every ounce of maternal instinct went to wanting to love on and care for animals instead.
I should add that I am extremely empathetic when I see adults cry. But not at all when I see or hear babies cry.
Dammit I was half way through collecting my tears into a spray bottle already.
It's a good thing they decided to use EEG instead of MRI for the subjects wearing headphones.
Whenever a baby cries, I don’t really panic, my heart kinda melts and I smile a bit. They sound like fussy little cats. So precious ❤
Babies sound like demons.
Still better than Monopoly. 100%
What would be the evolutionary benefit (if any) to crying while you laugh? Does it happen to everyone? What triggers it (psychological/physiological/both)? How does crying affect the person doing the crying? Does it trigger an hormonal response?
the set and camera are good.
The soundtrack for this episode should be Sniff 'n' the Tears' "Driver's Seat", because... sniffin' the tears!
I vote for that "game" with the farmer to be called "The Crying Game".
Last thing: It's funny to me that Study Hall lets you get credit with ASU -- I already have a bachelor's degree from ASU!
When adults cry, it really gets to me and I feel it myself as I am generally more emotional than the average, but I never had that with babies or kids like most other people do and never understood the whole parental instinct. I never really thought anything of it, but it might actually be something to do with being on the ASD as I am starting to learn and be more aware of that side of me.
Evolution loves honest signals. It’s not a surprise we have a few highly social emotional responses that are much more honest than others, like crying and blushing vs smiling or frowning.
Why was the "reduced aggression" study gendered?
Am I going crazy or did the me of this video change from Manipulation crying or something?
I think a lot
Of people
Complained in the comments ts
When can I buy some tear extract? Really need it for gaming nights.
Love Stefan! 🤗
Renaming this was a good move
And then there are those people who just get super angry when they see people cry. Probably some kind of defense mechanism to avoid feeling sadness, would be my guess.
I think the reason people see crying associated with trustworthiness is that people still tend to hide away when theyre sad or crying, so it garners this sense of "oh, youre in a vulnerable state right now" .
2:57 - I don't think I can really blame the researchers here... for logistical reasons it does just make sense to do it that way, since the general population does like to try and follow their gender-norms and expectations (for the particular society and time) to a very high degree...
Though this could be remedied for the men via a survey that asks if they cry easily during movies and whatnot (and if they're up for the task), which plenty of men do. I imagine they actually already would have done this for the women though, since plenty of women don't cry during movies. So, yea would be been more interesting to see men included there.
Well done for pointing out the biases in the experimental design @3:10. Any experiment will have biases and and variables that need to be accounted or controlled for.
"Better than Monopoly?"fyi: Monopoly is the king of board games sir.
Poor Reid. So many people using his chair!
To be fair, if I want to cry; I just think back to leaving someone I love and it immediately starts real waterworks
I dont have this with children/babies.... It makes me mad/overstimulated 😅
I do have it with baby animals/animals tho
Good job calling out the bias in the research!
Science: infant tears reduce our aggression.
Latina moms: hits you to give you a reason to cry
I always hated the stereotype that men don't cry. I've had it applied to me by others and it feels like the only safe place to cry is in my bedroom, alone.
Do we rank criers in a tear list?
What's that word ending in авый?
That was a very weird study design.
My mother used to use it to manipulate me. I despised her for it.
Some people; women in particular; learn to use tears as a weapon for control at a young age; just as some others; men in particular; will learn to use violence, or the convincing threat of it. Demanding one’s own way by any means available past about age 3 or 4 is a huge issue for society in general. 😬
@@misspatvandriverlady7555 I couldn't agree more. When people lack the intellectual tools of persuasion, they revert to baser means.
Best sob story I've heard 😂
😂😂😂 👏
"see hear or smell someone crying" *-Me smelling the guy in my basement 's eyes-*- 👁️👃🏻👁️-
This video shocked me a lot as I was facing trouble to understand him. Only understood 65 % of what he illustrated. Learning English for 2 years, and after listening this video I am totally shocked.
If your teacher isn't American, that's not surprising. American English sounds entirely different from British English, even though most of the vocabulary and grammar is still shared (Americans and Brits are just very used to watching each other's media so we don't really notice the differences) . He's also speaking in a more casual style than you're probably used to from school, but mixing in a lot of technical words since it's a science video.
It might be helpful to watch the video with captions in English. Judging from your comment, your problem is not that you don't know the words it's that you're not used to hearing them spoken and haven't heard this dialect.
There's a flaw in using offensive deductions as a measure of aggression as it ignores the proposition of nonverbal communication for the sake of cooperation to discourage otherwise malicious behavior from continuing. We can see this line of thinking play out in the way that AI have been used to solve the long-term strategy for the prisoner's dilemma
Play comparison the MRI results are a lot more convincing goodbye it's an unfortunately subjective comparison
Calling crying weird is the most based thing I've ever heard
I hope your friend and his combative cousin are not fans of the he channel great video and great presentation. I like this channels presenters and didn't enjoy the one off presenters used recently, thank you all at the Scishow channel and complexy for all your hard work.
Thank you for noting that issue with the gender bias. I was just about to click off the video.
As a dude if someone asked me to collect tears for them I honestly don't know if how or if I even could make myself cry short of putting soap or something in there. idek know when the last time I cried was, probably a year or more
i wonder if my mood would be affected by the smell of tears when i can't smell very much after covid
Study about agression from a geno cidal county
I cry when I get angry